This is the most traumatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. Shaloam everybody. Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas. I say shalom because today we're going to talk about one of my favorite shows that I just binge watched and I think a lot of you are as well. It's Nobody wants this on Netflix. It came out back in September, and I think it's really picking up more and more steam. It's with Kristin Bell, Adam Brody, Justin Lupe and Timothy Simons, who is so
good as Sasha. He was great and deep as well, but he's I mean, this guy just crushes it. But Kristen Bell Adam Brody and the premise of this is, you know, I'll just give you the thirty thousand ft level if you haven't watched it. Adam Brody as a young, cool, hip, good looking rabbi, Kristen Bell is agnostic, and the two fall in love and then you know, mayhem ensues. But his caused and created so many great conversations in and
out of the Jewish faith. Little known kind of backstory with me is that so my mom is Jewish and so I also grew up kind of in and out of the Jewish faith. I am a Christian and I was baptized with my son. But I also celebrate and celebrated my entire life the Jewish traditions, Passover and Hanikah,
et cetera. And and that means a lot to me as well, and that that side of my family and that side of myself is very important, and it's I don't I was wondering if it struck maybe more of a chord with me, because you know, I was watching my Jewish cousin's date and in and out of the temple, and then I was not in the temple, but I was dating and would you know, be with people in the Jewish faith, And it was just really interesting to have these conversations and to now see it all play
out and nobody wants this. I just thought, this is funny, it's fascinating, and I thought, who could we bring on to talk about this? So you know what we did. We found two really cool rabbis from different parts of the country. But lo and behold, they actually knew each other. There's Rabbi Joshua Bennett, who is at Temple Israel in Michigan and he actually had this well, I, you know, I would say she didn't study under him, but attended
temple with Rabbi Joshua's Rabbi Leah Sternberg. And Rabbi Sternberg was raised in Michigan, so that's where she went. But she then studied and worked in California in Colorado. And Leah is an assistant rabbi at Temple Bane in New Jersey. And they are young in hip and cool themselves. But I just wanted to have them. Have them on today. Let's let's lighten the load a little bit and talk about not only a great show, but how real is it?
What's missing? What hit home to these rabbis about their own faith and about people dating outside of their religion. So we dive in today on the Most Dramatic Podcast with Rabbi Leah and Rabbi Josh. Rabbi Josh, Rabbi Leah joining me now, Leah, I think you're in New Jersey, Josh, You're still in Michigan, right, correct?
Yes, thank you.
Guys for joining me. This is look, why have one rabbi on when we can have both?
I love that and happy to be here very happy to be here as well.
Little backstory here, Rabbi Leah, I know you're in New Jersey, but you studied under Rabbi Josh. Is that correct?
I actually grew up and was my teenage years at Temple were with the Rabbi Josh and so you could say studied, but really grew up there.
And that's I love that. What a great story. But I also like too because of the topic we're going to talk about with Nobody Wants This, this show that I quickly became addicted to like many others. And maybe it's because you know, my my mom's side of the family is Jewish, so I grew up with this feeling in this this idea that you know, Jewish, the Jewish, you know, congregation would like only seek out to marry and date Jewish people. I went through this when I
was in high school. I remember I was dating a girl, Julie shout out to you, but I remember her mom saying, I know you're only half Jewish, honey, but that's good enough. That's close. And and that really typifies what we were to dive what we're diving into today with the show Nobody Wants This, and hopefully you guys have seen this. I'm sure you've talked about this.
Yeah, I binge watched it, I think in two nights with my wife. So if I loved every minute.
It is, it's because look, it's very safe. It's a very safe, simple watch. As people say with books, it's a simple read. This is a very simple watch. Leah.
Yes, I also watched it very quickly, and I have I'm currently on maternity leave, so I have plenty of time to sit and binge watch, and so I also went through this one very fast and quickly became obsessed with it as well.
Well. First of all, Mazeltov. Second of all, the you know, it was interesting because I remember sitting with my cousin, my Jewish cousin one day, and she was trying to date and telling me, you know how hard it is. I grew up in Dallas, So Dallas as a beautiful Jewish community, but as many communities, it's small, it's tight knit, and you know, everybody knows everybody, and so she's like, it's very hard to date, you know, within the community
because everybody knows everyone. You know, we are fourth generation Dallas. Our grandparents are very high up in the temple and wonderful people, and so we just everybody knew them, right, And as you see this many times in a Jewish community, it gets very difficult and she's like, I only want to date someone who is of the Jewish faith. Where do we stand on this now? In modern times? Modern dating? Is this still the way? Is it still? Do you
see this with the folks that attend your temples? Josh, I'll start with you in Michigan.
First of all, I think it's important for us to recognize that the Jewish community is not monolithic. So there are different versions of the answer to this question. If you were to ask somebody in the orthodox world, the more traditional world, they would say, we only marry within because it's.
Proliferating the provision and the community.
But then you know, you move to the more liberal side of Judaism and the rules are shifted a little bit. So one of the big differences in our movement, the reform movement, is that we accept naturally anal descent or patrol and ial descent. So if one of the partners in the relationship is Jewish, then the kids are Jewish according to our traditions. So we see a lot more
inter faith marriages. Personally, I would say about fifty percent of the people I marry are marrying somebody who's not Jewish, But I always ask them to think of whether their partner is Jewish adjacent, are they Jewish friendly?
Are they Jewish connected?
And in those cases they tend to be supporters of this idea of marrying somebody for another faith.
Lee, Are you finding that as well? And I know you spent time in California in Colorado as well, you know you think of those typical kind of liberal areas. Are you finding that?
I agree, I second everything that Rabbi Josh said. There's much more, especially in the more liberal Jewish streams, willingness to not just accept in our faith coupled in our faith marriages, but to do so in a way that's
really welcome, not just accepting, but embracing of. And I would agree easily half the couples that I interact with that are looking for someone to officiate their wedding, our inner faith couples and not just inner faith couples that are looking to be married in a Jewish setting by a rabbi, but as so far as for a rabbi to co officiate at times with a non Jewish clergy member.
And that's even the next step. And so that's a big conversation of what does it look like to not just have a Jewish home, but for truly an inter faith home. And that becomes a little bit more controversial and a little bit more talked about. But I'm absolutely seeing it more and more.
That's good. It's you know, as I say told my cousin, you know, I said, look, and my grandparents, as devout as they were in Judaism, they were so welcoming of everyone in our house. And as my grandmother would say, love it spoken here. So if you know, if you're a good citizen, a good person like you're, you're welcome here.
And they would visit with you know, nuns and priests and and they they really had an open mind, which was pretty amazing considering, you know, the fifties and sixties and seventies when they were you know, so high in the temple. This show, what's interesting with the show is that it's a little different. We take it to another another level, which is the rabbi himself. First of all, have we seen a rabbi this hip and cool? Do we do we run across this at all at Temple
as Adam Brody. Maybe not as handsome as Adam Brody, but you know what I mean.
I mean, of course, Leah and I we're we're those cool rabbis.
That's what Josh.
You are stunningly handsome in your own kind of Marlborough man kind of way.
Yeah.
I mean, look, this is the joy of the show is that he's, as they call.
Him, the hot rabbi.
And I mean, I'll tell you a story from when I first came to Temple.
It was my very first high Holidays.
I walked into the sanctuary wearing my robes, went up onto the beama, onto the podium. My wife was walking in behind, and there was a mom who said to her daughter, Oh, look the rabbi.
He's hot.
And then the daughter turned to her and said, oh, he's the rabbi mom.
Leah.
What do you think about how they have portrayed Adam Brody as this young, hip, cool rabbi.
Listen.
I think that it's not just the hot rabbi. I think they're portraying him as a relatable rabbi. I think that there's the misconception that rabbis look or talk or
act a certain way. But as somebody who got ordained from rabbinical school and started working as a rabbi, I was twenty seven right when I started, there's something about being a relatable rabbi that felt really important to me, and that it's very clear that Adam Brodie's character is also portraying, whether intentionally or not, right, we don't know what he's actually thinking about it, but there's something It's not just the hot rabbi, but it's the relatable rabbi
and the what we'll call as people describe as the normal rabbi, right, that they're a person in addition to a rabbi, and that that's something that he's showing.
So clearly, I'd be interested to know enough to, you know, someday, would love to talk to the writer, the creator of the show because as someone who did grew up around the temple shout out to Temple Shalom in Dallas, as someone who did I as a child, I remember the prototypical stereotypical rabbi elder, you know, the the slow speaking Hebrew and the low, you know, base voice. But I'd be interesting to know if that was intentional because there
is a movement. I've seen that in at Temple Shalom as well, where there's a young female rabbi and things are I hate to use the word hip, but maybe modern and revised and Leah, I don't know if you've seen that elsewhere in the country, but it seems like there is that movement which is wonderful to see, and maybe that's what they were actually trying to capture in this show.
One hundred percent.
I think about to be honest with my own friends, my friends from rabbinical school, that are if we're out and not right at work or at some professional obligation, that you wouldn't know we were a group of rabbis, right. Like one of my favorites is, you know what it means for the rabbi in the show to go to a bar on Friday night after services, And I have certainly gone to a bar on Friday night after services, and that feels like a very normal thing for me.
Right that sometimes Friday night means working a Shabbot service and then going to a shabat dinner, but sometimes it means working a Shabad service and then going out with my friends after and either of those are very normal Friday nights for me.
Wait, you're human.
It's right, It's.
It's about being a human, a young human, and a young human living in a vibrant city with a nightlife and with a social life. And what that looks like is something that felt made his character feel so relatable to me and like a humanizing aspect of the Rabbinant.
And Josh we mentioned about, you know, kind of the modern take. You know, depending on again on what temple you go to and your particular proclivities and what you think. But more and more you're seeing people date outside their religion. But what about a rabbi. What if one of you were interested in a you know, she's agnostic in the in the show, but say Catholic, could be Episcopal, could be anything. How would that be looked upon at temple.
It's such a complex question because it obviously depends on the circumstance.
I think it happens.
There are rabbis out there, single rabbis who are dating, and maybe some of them are finding love with somebody who's outside of the faith. The question is actually both how the congregational would respond, which I think is always going to be bad at first.
Right, it's going to be controversial, it's.
Going to be a scandal, and then how does the rabbi deal with it? How does the rabbi bring that person into the community. And quite frankly, it's hard to imagine somebody wanting to date the rabbi that wouldn't be at least interested in learning more about the faith.
And that to me is ultimately the answer.
If the rabbi is going to bring someone from outside of the faith into Jewish tradition and into the congregational life and they want to deal with us as the rabbi, welcome, I'm.
Glad they're there.
And Leah, one thing that is very real that also they hit this note well, is the coconut telegraph at Temple. The Jewish community. Word gets out and gets around.
Quickly, So I would add to that first of course, gets around quickly. And there's no hiding when you're dating. Somebody knew at the beginning of when I started working at my current synagogue, I wasn't in a relationship.
I was dating.
And it's very real that when you tell somebody you are a rabbi and you're dating. And I was living in New Jersey, but just adjacent to New York City. I was living just across the river, so I was dating in New York and in the New York area. When you tell somebody you are a rabbi, whether they're Jewish or not, that immediately either draws them in or it pushes them away, and you don't have to get further past what do you do for work?
Oh, I'm a rabbi.
It weeds people out that have no interest in dating a rabbi, and so.
Is it a I would agree with Rabbi Josh.
When he says that somebody has to want to date a rabbi, or be at least be willing to engage in the Jewish faith if they're willing to say yes to a second, third, fourth date with somebody who's a rabbi. I would also say that no matter who the person is, that again, people talk. The synagogue talks. The first time you bring them to a synagogue event, everybody is going to be talking. I've experienced that firsthand more than once.
It's your red carpet. I remember my own wife Lauren. It's like, okay, we're going red carpet official tonight. Get like here, you have that conversation. That is y'all's version of red carpet official yep.
And when I the first time I brought my now husband to the synagogue and I had to okay his outfit. I had to tell him who to look out for, what sort of things to talk about, what sort of things were off to talk about, prepared answers to hot questions he might get. So it really is there. Somebody has to want to do all of that in order to get to that point.
Yeah, Josh, the kids call it the hard launch. That's one thing in the show. I don't think they hit that hard enough of like the hard launch would have been as a rabbi, especially an aspiring rabbi. He was looking to become the head rabbi, he would have been a little more thoughtful about the hard launch.
For sure.
But it's not just about introducing a dating partner. It's the fact that people are watching us all the time. They are watching what we eat, they are watching where we live, they're watching.
How we act.
I cannot tell you the number of times that I have made mistakes of not recognizing that somebody was watching me, and it could be disastrous depending on what the circumstance is I can't tell you all the stories because it'll.
Be the last day of my career. But you know there are stories to.
Be told about people seeing us behaving maybe not the way you would think a rabbi should behave.
No one looks good eating linguini. Don't worry about it. There's no there's no really pretty way to eat spaghetti. What I also liked about the show Nobody Wants This and Adam Broding's character is the layers to it, all, right, there's the emotional, there's love, and then there is the aspiration of it's a business decision. You know we think of,
you know, people of God, rabbis, priests, whatever it's like. Well, they also are trying to ascend, not just metaphorically, they're also you know, literally trying to ascend and become a leader of bigger congregation and take over a synagogue. And so I like that they also touch on his career aspirations because that's real.
It's it's really a huge part of the story.
And I'm glad you mentioned it because there are two pieces to me that are equal opposites. One is the scenes at the summer camp where he's trying to be cool with the kids, and she's trying.
To be cool with the kids.
And quite frankly, a lot of my career was working with teenagers, trying to be cool with the kids. But the double edged sort of that is that in being cool with the kids, you might say something do something that's inappropriate. You know, there's actually a great story from when I was younger.
I thought it was the cool Rabbi.
I'm taking trips to Israel and around the country with our teenagers, and I was playing a game where you actually replace the word one word of a movie title with genitalia.
Part oh boy, oh boy.
It's great fun until I came home and one of the parents was waiting to talk to me about the game that I had played with their child.
Right, So, people, on one hand, I want to move up in my career. On the other hand, I want.
To be cool and hip and engaging, and they don't always match.
Leah as a younger rabbi feel that part of the show. Did you relate to that?
Yeah, I think there is the balance of being like young and cool and being who I'll say, being who you are, right, it's not who you are at that current point in your life. Right for me, at the current stage I am in my life, I'm very different in my personal life than how I am then maybe what I'll be right twenty years down the line. But I have to be thinking about where I want to be twenty years down the line in making the decisions that I do now to reach that point in my career.
Right.
So I think he very much is balancing it, and you see him having a really hard time with balancing that because he's thinking about where he currently is and dating and in this relationship, and he wants to be in the moment of now of being with this woman who's not Jewish but who he's really having fun with and who he's really starting to potentially fall in love with. And he's thinking about that in the now, but in the back of his mind he has, oh, where am
I trying to be? And for him it's not twenty years for him, it's maybe a year or two, and knowing that that might not line up. And so it's a very real thing to say, where do I want to be in five, ten, fifteen, twenty years in my rabbinic career? But where am I right now? And how do those things blend together and how can I keep them separate? And he's really showing that.
I want to play and I won't pick either one of you. So jump in if you have an answer to this. Hits and misses with the show, nobody wants this. What hit where you're like, oh wow, they really hit the nail on the head in the Jewish faith or a temple or what have you? Or what missed? What was the one where you're like, come on, like, that's a bridge to fall that never happens. Did anything stand out to you?
For me, the hit was the scene when Kristen Bell's character walks into the synagogue for the first time and every woman is introducing their niece and.
Talking about their daughter. That obviously exaggerated, but it's real. It's real.
Everybody wants a piece of the rabbi. That's a real piece. The other part that maybe hit home really but also was challenging was the Tova Felche character Bena Right. I mean, it might be real, but also was a little cringey because it was a little too real.
And I'm not sure we want to show that out in the real world.
So for me that she did a fabulous job of the character, and it was also a little hard to stomach.
Leah anything, I.
Think there were so many hits. There really were. I think one of the missus was similar to what Josh said with the some of the depictions of the Jewish women in the show that hold on some stereotypes that again, I you know, there's many different reasons why a woman might be angry, including if you know there's a new woman who comes in and is dating your best friend's ex.
Right, naturally you aren't going to be the friendliest.
But some of the depictions of Jewish women that are tropes throughout the show is I think a little.
Bit hard interesting.
Okay, I think there were. I think there were a lot of hits.
I think the definitely the synagogue scene. I think some aspects of the camps scenes some were I think a little bit exaggerated, but I think some have felt really all about Jewish Camp.
So so many hits throughout it.
So I'm trying I want to ask this question without really being a spoiler, because the show is kind of new, but they've picked it up for season two, which is great news, and its first of all, it just I just has nothing to do with the Jewish Faith. I'm just so excited that just a simple family rom com. I mean, I know there's some language and stuff like that, but for the most part, it's just a simple, clean watch and it's just so nice to have It's a happy film or a happy show. For the most part,
I'm like, it's just good to have that on TV. Again. I really enjoyed it, and I think it's kind of what resonated. We all don't have to be in a bad mood and everything doesn't have to mean everything all the time, you know what I mean, Like we could just laugh and it could be silly. So, without trying to give too much away, do we think the Rabbi will find love with Kristen Bell's character And we don't know. We don't know, but we're heading into season two, Leah, what do you think?
I think so.
I think it's the only way that that it works. It's like a Christmas Hallmark movie, like.
What would that be out? Finding love at the end.
I think it's going to be a little a little how do we get there is the question, but I think they have to otherwise what are we doing?
Rabbit?
Josh, what do you think totally totally the same answer.
How could it end without the two of them staying in love and finding each other at the end of the story. The question is what's going to happen to make those things occur?
Yeah, well, and you know, look, there's the moonlighting theory. Rabbi Lee, you might be a little young for this, but Bruce willis Sybil Shepherd, huge movie or show back in the day on Network TV, and it was when they finally got together. You're like, all right, well, the show's over, so you kind of have to keep dangling that carrot and keep running us around. But overall, I just I wanted to have you all on. Thank you so much for having a serious but seriously lighthearted conversation
about the Jewish faith, about finding love. And I'm glad, if nothing else about this show. As someone who grew up in and around the Jewish faith and it means so much to me and my family, I'm glad we can all just talk about this and do it in a very fun, loving way.
Now.
I totally agree.
I'm so happy to be able to talk about something fun in a world that sometimes isn't looking so wonderful out there.
It's good just to laugh and smile and have a good time.
I think, at the end of the day, what this one of the things this show has done is brought this light conversation during such a tense time in our world in so many ways, and it has only brought out great conversations that I've had, and everybody's you know, finding light in it, as they should in a romcom show. And so it's been I've really enjoyed talking about it and being part of the conversation. Well.
As many great rabbis will tell you, many things can be true at once. We can take the serious, and we'll have to handle the serious in our lives. But at the end of the day, there's love, and it's something we all want. It's something we all relate to. There's the companionship, and so it's a beautiful thing. And so I'm glad that to hear that you guys are discussing this on well. Rabbi Josh is in the Midwest there in Michigan and you over there in New Jersey.
So Rabbi Lea, Rabbi Josh, thank you so much for your time. Truly appreciate you taking time out to join us here on the podcast.
Today, thanks so much. Happy to be here, Thanks Chris, good to be with.
You, Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever, and make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.