Misspelling with Tory spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. Hi you guys, So I have a Tory story for you. Actually, my boy Bessie, Brian Austin Green told me that I need to tell this story, and he told me this is my next toy story, so I'm going with it. So this past weekend, Brian and I went to New York on this top secret mission thing that's happening that I can't talk about. That we had to sign all kinds of NDAs and it's something really really cool and really
really special. So it kind of happened out of nowhere and it's really awesome and you guys are gonna love it and I can't wait to share it with you anyway. Okay, bean gave me energy. Okay, I love work. Anyway. Ruthanne and I flew from LA to New York. We've been traveling all day and everything happened so fast. I was like it was like one of those things like pack a bag, get on the plane, and go. So I actually didn't have any makeup on, and I had my
sunglasses and I had a beanie on. I was in my sweats and we got to the hotel late at night and Brian and his manager Tracy had gotten in and they were like, oh, you know, we're at the bar if you guys want to join us. And I literally said to Ruthan like, oh my god, no, I can't see Brian right now. I don't have makeup on. Did I not say this, Ruthman, you totally said it. I did.
I understood, not because I thought you didn't look amazing, but I understand that feeling a female.
Yeah, there's a lot of things as women that I think we you know, my god, boys are so lucky. But I actually have always loved the fact that, you know, we do get to put on makeup, and we do get to adjust how we appear to others physically, at
least I thought I did. So anyway, we check in and I was like, oh my gosh, I don't know, just tell them we're tired, and I just we're shooting early in the morning, and all of a sudden, as we go to the Elvare, I'm like, oh my god, they're right there, and I'm like, okay, I want to see Brian and Tracy. Anyway, so we go over and it was it was one of those things that everything
happens for a reason. So we go over and we're all like, you know, talking, and we're having a drink and Brian and I decide to go to the bar. So we go to the bar to get everyone another round of drinks. And we were just having like one or two drinks and then going to bed, and he says to me at the bar, do you know I'm not this isn't for batim, but basically, do you know how pretty look with less makeup? And that tanks me and I was like, oh my god, I knew this
was going to happen. And I turned into that sixteen year old girl around Brian Green again, and I was like, I'm not kidding. I told Ruth and I didn't want to see you tonight because I don't have makeup on. And he's like that's ridiculous. He goes, you look so beautiful with less makeup, and he's such a good man, like, you know, he chose his words carefully, not no makeup, he said, with less makeup. So I was like, gosh,
I don't know, I don't see it. So we got into this conversation about he said, you know, not only do you look prettier, because we could see your face like, but you look younger, and it became this whole thing. We then got back to the table. Did we start talking to you guys about it when we got back to the table.
Yes, and Tracy and I concurred with Brian, but you would never hear it from certainly you wouldn't hear it from me.
Maybe a little bit from Tracy, but more so. And what I ended up saying, and I don't know if this is at the bar when we came back to the table, was that I don't know, I feel like I've been so conditioned my whole life being in the public eye and having your looks just torn apart from a young age. I mean literally, not literally like like I don't know the moment it was, the exact moment.
I know.
It was when I was seventeen and the Globe magazine which doesn't even exist, but a tabloid, this is when there were paper tabloids, came out with a story. It was like, you know, the Inquirer, the Globe was like it was a big one and nine, O two and zero was in the Tayday. I was seventeen, though, you know, it's like the second season. Itd just blown up and all these pictures of me, saying Tory Spelling has had
all this plastic surgery. I was like seventeen, Like I had my nose done at sixteen, but like you know, it's it. Keep in mind, you guys, this is the nineties, not today, when you know there's so much available and people do botox and they do all different things, starting young.
And it said a source says. They always say a source says, which means no one really said it, but possibly they showed pictures of me when I was like nine, or when I was like twelve, and it says people that went to high school with her knew her, and elementary so she looks completely different. And it went on to say things like I had had cheecken plants and a chinen plant and ribs removed. It was the wildest thing.
And I'm looking at these pictures and I'm a seventeen year old girl, and I had just gotten it from the news stand, which doesn't really exist anymore in Westwood, and I was driving back home. We had just moved into the manor, so I was driving home and I remember pulling into my parents' driveway and I called my dad. He was at work, and I was in tears, and I was like, oh my god, I don't know what I'm seeing. But they're saying I've had all this plastic
surgery and like I've had nothing done. And my dad was like, always the eternal optimist. He was like, Babe, when they're talking about you, it's good press is press bad or good, and they'll move on to someone else next week. And I was like, okay, okay, let me try to think of it that way. But it was devastating because I want it to be like, first of all, I look completely different. Was something wrong with me before?
You know, we have those like weird moments we go through in life, like your formative years and you're like a tween, like you know, I had like baby fat cheeks, and you know, now my face was thinning out. But I hadn't had cheek and plants, I hadn't had my chin redone, and I certainly hadn't had ribs removed. I was like, oh my gosh, how do you even do that? Like I'd always had a thin frame my dad and mom. My dad was then my mom is thin, Like I
had not even thought about dieting or anything. But I'll never forget that day because my dad said, don't worry, they'll be on to someone else next week. But that never went away, that story. And I know we're talking about Brian and him saying I should wear less makeup, but this is where it started, with me thinking I needed to wear makeup. So I have to go back to the beginning. But I was seventeen and the press
never let that go. I am fifty two right now, and if you look up any comments about me, not just from the press, like fans read into it, people like my very existence is tory spelling. I remember I'd read stuff when Michael Jackson was still alive, like the only other person that's had more plastic surgery than Michael Jackson is tory spelling it Like that one tabloid's story stayed with me my entire life, and you know what,
it fucked me up, like it. Not only was I like thrust into like stardom at an early age, living out my bad moments good moments on TV for the world, but I was a seventeen year old girl that didn't think I looked bad. I didn't think I looked that bad. I definitely had had my nose done, which you know, at sixteen. Nowadays, I think that's way too young. But back in the day, it was a it was a thing. You know, when you turned sixteen, you know, disgussed it
with your parents and you got yours done. And other than that, though I don't know, I was just like, oh my god, I must be like a troll. I must be the ugliest human alive if they think I've had to have all this stuff to even be where I am now. And then the comments just kept going. And as much as I say I have thick skin, like, it really stayed with me my whole life, to the point where people still say on comments on my Instagram, I post something like, oh my gosh, lay off the filler,
lay off the bowtox. Stop getting so much plastic surgery. And I'm not supposed to interact with people saying, you know, mean things. I'm sped to just take it on the chin, right, But I haven't had my chin done. I don't have filler like I have no filler in my face, you guys like I've had botox. So I went the other direction. I feel I at fifty two, I look at all this stuff on social media. I see women my age that have had lasers done, they've had you know, they've
had lower face lifts, they've had things done. I've had nothing done because I'm so terrified of what people will say because they already say I had stuff done that I haven't had done. So I'm like super careful. Like when I get my boatox and I do I get botox, I'm always like, don't do too much. People think I've had something else done. Like it has really messed me
up of how I perceive myself. And I think makeup plays into that because I always thought, gosh, I must be unattractive, and in order to be attractive, what does a female do? Oh, we have that choice. We can add makeup, we can put on a quote unquote beauty mask. Right. So I always wore a lot of makeup, and you know now that, especially in the last year, the whole you know, Pamela Anderson and the whole no makeup look
is back in. That messed me up too, because I was like, oh my god, I'm trying to change with the times. I don't even feel comfortable wearing, you know, less meat. So yeah, that's where that started and Brian said you should try it, and he's like, you should try wearing less makeup, and I was like, I don't know. I don't know where I would start. First of all, I actually love makeup the application. I feel like I'm
really good at it. And it's so it is an expression on one hand, like I get my nails done and I get, you know, crazy nails. Sometimes I'm like, that's me expressing myself. So I do do like good eye makeup, and when I do a lot of eye makeup, I'm expressing myself. But that's not completely true. After we talked, I was like, no, I'm hiding myself. So's it's both
at the same time. And we were about to do this big thing and I was like, oh my gosh, really and he said, well, you know, maybe just don't do everything at once, like do like if you're married
to doing a lot of eyes, do less foundation. I was like, but my skin, and my skin is terrible, and he's like, your skin is great, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm so confused, Like I don't know what I'm looking at when I look in the mirror that I'm seeing things that other people don't see, and I trust Brian with my life, so if someone randomly tells me this, and of course, you know, I'm thinking that whole thing, like, oh, men always say they like women with less makeup, So I'm like, are you sure
it's not just that guy thing, because I've heard this before. I've heard it from my ex husband, I've heard it from the guys i've been with, like you look so pretty with no makeup, and I'm like, they don't mean it. He's like, no, you really do. So long story short, we did this big, top secret thing the next day, and I definitely came into it with the mindset of you know, me go you know, go big or go home. So I wasn't like, let me try this out on
an Instagram photo. I chose to choose like this huge project to be like, I'm gonna were less makeup. So I did, and Brian and I were on set and I was like so, and he's like, you look beautiful. You wore less makeup and you look so good. And I was like, he goes, how does it feel? And I go, I actually feel pretty good? And I noticed the podcast so you can only see the social clips,
but I'm literally wearing basically no makeup today. Wow, it really helps my schedule because I can get so much more done if I don't have to take like thirty months in my makeup. But I really did like how I looked, and it just like But then we came back from this project and I was on Instagram and I'm seeing all these people with you know, the majorly defined eyebrows and the eye makeup, and I'm like, oh, but isn't that the look that looks better on me?
And anyway, I'm talking to you guys about it because I'm a little confused. So it's I'm in the moment of going through this process and I thought, well, I tell you guys everything. I'm an open book now, an open face with no makeup. But it's so I don't know him, and where did I land on that. I don't know, to be honest, but I think it's an important conversation, not just for me, like it's a conversation
all women. Chef my sixteen year old daughter, she gets up an hour and a half before school every day to do her makeup. She does amazing makeup, like the most gorgeous eyes, and for her, I get it because she's very creative and part of her she's like, I'm not sure do I want to do I want to be a baker, Do I want to be a makeup artist? Like she has so many different things, a fashion design, She's so good at everything that I tell her. I remember we we had to go somewhere recently and she's like,
I don't know any makeup on. And I was like, you look beautiful without makeup. And I heard myself, this is before Brian told me the other day, this is like two weeks ago. And I heard myself saying what I have been told before by other people. Don't worry about it. You look beautiful without makeup. And I stopped myself and I said, I get it though, because I do. Does she look gorgeous with not a stitch of makeup? Unbelievable.
She's also sixteen, Like it's harder for me at fifty two to rationalize now being like, no, I'm not going to wear makeup. But I get it. It's a real thing once it's in your head. And we have social media, like we see all this stuff where like it's a tough thing and it's like to makeup or not makeup? What is the answer, And I don't know. I'm not sure, and I'm not sure if I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh, I look younger without makeup, I'm not sure I see what Brian sees. But I definitely
there's something to it. And I wonder at fifty two, like, can I readjust my brain to actually see something that I haven't seen all these years, something that's part of me? And is that part of self growth and loving yourself? I don't know. I'm posing all these questions that I don't have answers to because it's happening in the moment right now. Brian's gonna be so proud I did this
podcast with no makeup today. But here I am, and like, I guarantee you guys, if I put a picture of myself on social today with no makeup, people will still be like, look at all the plastic surgery she's had done. People will listen to this podcast and will hear me say the words I have not had all this work done that I'm like supposedly had all these years, and they will still choose to believe an article that came
out when I was seventeen years old. It's just like this thing that has stayed with me my entire life. I wish I could shed it, Like I'm sure one day I'll want to have something done in my face, and I don't want to be scared not to because I'm scared what people are going to think because they already think it, Or do I just do it because they already assume I've done it? Anyway, I don't know, it's such an odd thing, what an odd conversation.
No, Yeah, I think I think most women grapple with this. You know, in a perfect world, the rule would be you do what makes you feel good about you, not because you're responding to negative feedback if you don't, or even negative feedback in your head.
But that's easier said than done. You know, it'd be great if every time somebody said, oh, you look great without makeup, or you look you know, you look young, or whatever, we believed it. I mean, I think the problem is more what goes on inside our heads as opposed to what the external is saying. And that's work everybody has to do on themselves.
Yeah, it's really hard in a world where we're shown to extremes right now, right like there's people that were a lot of makeup, Like not that they don't look great, but like the Kardashians set a whole trend with makeup, you know, with that that look, you know, and it was definitely major makeup, defined contouring eyes, and you know what, Sometimes when I watch their show and there's some scenes where they have no makeup on They've just spontaneously done it,
I'm like, I say the same thing. I'm like, Kim looks so pretty with no makeup, and I'm like thinking, in my head, oh my god, this is the age old thing, Like what is it? So it's either you wear all that makeup and you look great, or now you wear no makeup and you're just like this is me, you know, and this is my age. And so what's the in between? I don't know. And we're always depending on society to tell us like, oh, this is in
right now. So I don't know, no makeup's in right now, but like in a year, it might be something completely different. So I understand you're supposed to do what works best for you, but it's really hard, I think in life. I'm not just saying because I'm in the public eye, Like, no, I am saying because I'm in the public eye. I want to apologize for a second. Sorry, like how I tried to do that, Like it's not about me, No, it is. It's much harder having been in people's living room,
you know, since I was a teenager. Now I do a rewatch, you know, watching myself back as a teenager, thinking, I do think when I watched nine o two one, oh and Jenny and Amy, and I watch it back on nine O two one. OMG, I do watch Donna through a different lens now, and I definitely am able to see now because I know then I used to
cry in the makeup chair. I used to cry. And I remember my makeup artist, Nick I had a male, a straight male makeup artist that was very and back then, and he was married with kids, and I would just be hysterically crying. I had some bad boyfriend that told me I was ugly. I'm working with these gorgeous women. That article had come out saying, oh, she's ugly and
she's had all this plastic surgery. And I'm sitting here on this huge TV show and I would just cry and cry all my makeup off and he'd have to put it back on, and I remember him saying, You're you're going to fall in love with yourself more as you get older. You're such a beautiful girl, and you're only going to age even better, and you're gonna look at yourself. He would say, like thirty years around and be like, oh my gosh, and feel comfortable with yourself.
And here I am, you know, thirty plus years later, and I'm still not comfortable with myself. But I am able to watch Donna back and know the heartache I went through feeling like I had to keep up with the other girls, feeling like I had to look as pretty as them or maybe I wouldn't be light. And it was really hard for a young girl, where you know, I'm watching my daughter the same age, and they're worried about how they look, but they're worried about how their
friends at school look. I had to worry about the way millions perceived me and didn't perceive me, and it was a hard thing. But I watched Donna now and I'm like, you were so pretty. Like I'm able to separate it and watch the show as a fan. Now, I'm like, Donna Martin, you're a really pretty girl. Akay, that's Tory spelling, you were a really pretty girl, and
I wish I don't believe in regrets. Everything's your journey, but I do wish that I could go back and tell that girl like, you're pretty, like, don't listen to what people say, like, and I wish I could make her love herself then, because it'd be a whole different ballgame now for me. Yeah, because it's funny. I'll watch Donna then me as a teenager, me in my early twenties and be like, oh, you were so pretty, like you didn't need all that makeup, And I wish I
had loved myself. But I look at Tory now in the mirror and I'm like, no, I don't see it. So I don't know. It's a lot of ketchup work you have to do. I don't know if you ever get there. It'd be nice to get there. Oh that'd be so nice. It'd be so nice to look in the mirror and be like cool, feeling good up, rock on. And I have a lot of respect for people that can do that, and I aim to get there one day. Anyway, I'm doing this podcast. You'll hear most of it, see
the social clips. But I have to watch myself the entire time. So I'm literally looking into my computer on my zoom speaking to myself and I'm sitting here with no makeup, and I'm like, I'm getting through it. I'm not like, I, do you have a ringlin Maybe that's helped me. Maybe I could just take like a personal ring light through life that like eased me into it. I wish Brian had been honest today because I'm forgetting all the good stuff he said to me, because it
made me so nervous having that conversation. And then the next night we're at dinner and he was like, so, he's like, you need to tell this story, your tory story about this because that's so important for you know, everyone to hear, like the struggles that people go through with the identity of what they see in the mirror versus what other people see, and how that's a reflection of like how you feel inside. And I was like, wow, that just got real deep for me. He's like, yeah,
and that's okay. Live in that like uncomfortable zone. You don't always have to be funny. And I was like, yeah, and that's another thing, like I have made up for what I perceive not being the prettiest girl, but I'm the funniest girl, like so I throw out humor with everything and at that point, you know, at some point that kind of gets old too, Like it's hard to sit with yourself, like be vulnerable, and it's an intimate
place and it's wildly uncomfortable. But as a mom of five kids and two girls, like, I want to get there. I want to get there so I can support them as they're like going through these years and putting on makeup or not putting on makeup or yeah, well for whatever it's worth you, Yeah, look beautiful today.
And I know you always say well with Anne, either you're blind or which.
She is, She's always think that, but it's true.
And I think I see you as most people see you.
So again, it's just about you seeing it in yourself and personally, I don't think you have to commit to one thing or the other. You know, there are days you feel like doing yourself up. You do it.
There are days you're.
Like, I don't have time.
And you don't, but hope it's true to the world.
Not feeling horrible about yourself on those days that you don't.
I just wish the world was kinder. Well, we all wish the world was kinder, but people don't realize the impact that words have. Like when words are said, you can't unhear them. If they're in print, you can't unsee them. And that's why people say, you know, lead by your actions, not your words. But it's just like it's a tough one.
So you know, like I when I leave the house, like I want to go to the grocery store, Like a month ago or two months ago, I went to the Trader Joe's picking up like food for my kids to make dinner. And I didn't see them, but some paparazzi got a picture of me and it was like, ooh, look at her without makeup, And I was like, fuck, Like, I'm just trying to live like it's not it's just a weird, weird fucking world we live in all around. But it's like and maybe this wouldn't come up for
me as much, but it's it. Definitely. I'm really working on myself and my growth being now my fifties and single again, single not married. I was married for you know, eighteen years, and you know, it was so lost in my relationship and the identity of being everyone you know, a mom, a wife, an actress, reality start just making
it all happen that you know. And I've talked about this a lot, like I don't have me time, I've lost all that, but like I lost a big chunk of myself and I'm really trying now to find who that person is. And it's just in the midst of trying to find yourself in your fifties, which is not the age I think we're supposed to be trying to find ourselves. I mean, there's no age, I guess, but it's like I definitely like it's it's a tough one.
But I heard Brian's words. I heard them. I couldn't unhear them, and they impacted me because it wasn't coming from someone that was just you know, oh, you're an actress, you're pretty, like you don't need makeup. So someone that has been my friend and family since I was sixteen years old, and what he says matters. And I'm kind of shocked because like my husband would tell me this over the years and I would be like, I don't believe you. You're just saying that you're in love with me,
So like you don't. You can't. You can't see what's really there. But I heard what Brian said, like it really impacted me on such a deep level. So yeah, I'm definitely going to keep wearing makeup because I love doing my eyes like, I love doing that, and I'm not taking out my extensions. Rod Pick could tell me I look good without extensions, and I'm not doing that. I mean maybe for brod pet, I don't know, baby steps.
So yeah, it will be interesting when you guys all hear this podcast, because I'll go on social media and can't wait to hear the fun stuff you guys are going to say. I mean, actually, if you're all listening to this podcast, you like me and you find me relatable and I'm part of your world, so thank you. But it's the others you have to worry about.
Just remember one thing, m look where the globe is now after speaking unfavorably about you, so lesson there.
I don't think that had anything to do with me. No, but they just went under eventually.
Well they start because they were, you know, shitting on young girls, which is just not okay no matter who you.
Are or what you look like. So oh, it's so interesting you say that because they got no backlash over it. But you're right, they were talking about an underage girl in her looks but no one but that's kind of the media anyway, and no one says anything.
I think there's pushback more and more, you.
Think, I hope, So I don't know. And there's this there's so much readily available to transform yourself that it's just hard to be like on that. I don't know, on the bandwagon of no, no, no, no, this is me and I'm proud of me. Like that's a tough one. There's so many viable things that we can transform ourselves with now. I mean, you and I were talking on
the way back from the airport. That's like on social media we were seeing like all you know, new plastic surgery and you know, people in their like seventies and eighties are looking like they're in their forties. And we both had a moment We're like, we're screwed, right, And I was like, how do I get some of that?
But you're right, I know, And I, on the other hand, was like, and I can never get any of that because people already say I've had plastic surgery, so I just have to stay just like this out of fear that the what they're already saying it, I don't have time to get plastic surgery.
But like, well, the crazy thing is, and this just goes back to the beginning of this is you don't need it.
You look so much younger than you are.
You are blessed with amazing genes, you know, and you've taken care of your skin, and you're a beautiful girl. Not that you see it, but the truth is, you have all of that going for you, and you do look beautiful without makeup, and you look beautiful with makeup. The challenge is believing believing it for yourself, and that is just not an easy thing to do.
No, not like my Instagram, Like my Instagram thinks I want to see like those masks and like under eye patches. I don't know why, but they keep putting them on my for you page and it's very like I buy into it too. I'm like, oh my gosh, the glass skin look. I'm like, cool, that looks great. Like I don't know have not Like I don't do any lasers. I don't do any of that stuff. This was to tighten your skin. I don't do it. Like it sounds good, be nice to have glass skin, Like you don't have
to have plastic surgery, just glass skin. But it's like it's so they make you believe it. It's it's like it's like they draw you in, like, oh, I must need that. Wait, so you're saying I don't have to get like lasers or plastic surgery. I could just have glass skin with just a mask I put on for twenty minutes, for twenty nine ninety five. Wow, and I can get a bogo. Oh my gosh, yes, I'm in Like it is just wild.
Now. The truth is, we don't know how much of those images have been done, you know, any of them, all of them. You have no idea unless you see somebody in person what it really looks like.
That's the problem. No one's in today's age, Like nobody really has to see anybody in person anymore, except if you're fifty two and single and suddenly you have to date again. Budge, It's like, wow, that's an interesting concept. Yeah, But like last week I bought the zombie mask, Like I shouldn't be buying something that is called the zombie mask, Like that's not good for my self esteem and I
was like, what is this new trend, the zombie mask? Oh, Kardashians wore it, Click Apple Pay, I'm in and I bought it. I'll tell you what it's like when it gets here. I have no idea. And you know, I tried that snail secretion mask. That was pretty good, though. That scared me. It like hydrated my skin though, like it did it did? It felt hydrated. Oh boy, you guys.
It just scares me because I'm like, what is it going to be like for my kids, my six year old and my thirteen year old when they're in their forties and fifties, Like I can't even imagine, Like look at Ai now, Like what we can do. We will never have to worry about any of this. Maybe it'll be a button in your face, will just be a computerized version of yourself at sixteen when you're in your forties. Great, oh boy, now I'm going down this rabbit. Sign me up, Steve,