Mansplaining The Masters

This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. Hello friends, and welcome to the first major of the year. Just starting off today, LZ with the homage to a friend of mine, Jim Nance, as he starts every Master's telecast with Hello, friends, it's Master's Week. We won't be talking golf, but.

Just know, you know what, let's talk about it a little bit, a little bit because it's the reality of our lives, your life. You've been talking about it for a week ahead of it, and I have to be honest, I don't know how I missed this the first five years we've been together.

I thought it was just the weekend. It's Master's Week.

It's Master's Week.

There's like events with the golfers, families and friends, and so you've been keeping your ear to the ground.

Now I got it. You know what the iet to give your credit on something.

You had an invitation to go to the Master's right, and you didn't.

Yeah, why is that? Baby?

I have been blessed with the ability to have gone before. So I've been there. I've been to a game.

Let me give you a little credit for a second, though. When Chris says he's been blessed with the ability. He is a humble person, and he is my husband, and I know him, so I can tout him a little bit. Chris gets invited to things and goes to things because he shows up for other people. The reason you have an invite to the Masters is because you're a great friend who's been a great friend of people for years,

Let's start here. This is my Chris Harrison Man's plain. This is the greatest week of the year. This is why your husbands are about to disappear.

He's wearing his Augusta National Golf Club T shirt right.

Now, my T shirt. I have my blanket out. Sweet enough to put my blanket out that I got at Augusta, my Augusta National Tea Cup. I'll be drinking tea out of it all week as I get up and watch. So it starts obviously really Tuesday, you have the Champions dinner. All the champions get back together so on social media now it's funny back in the day. Back in the day, you would never see anything. This is how much things have changed. And Augusta was such a private, exclusive place.

So it did use to truly be a weekend and that people only saw the weekend.

But now we see because ESPN and Golf Channel and ESPN Plus and all these things. You see practice rounds, they were live at the Masters. ESPN is their golf channel, so you are non stop inundated with coverage from the Master. We see him on the driving range. You're seeing parts of the course that you never see, including the first nine. We never saw guys tea off before. So I went and played Augusta and that was the first time I

How much it's grown. Now it's a week of coverage across channel.

There's a par three tournament that was yesterday. It's kind of this traditional thing they have a par three course.

It is one thing I love about it. Yeah, I love the tradition of it. Like our friend Sergio Garcia is there with his wonderful wife Angela and their kids, and like to see the kids and the wives and the families all support and play together.

Our friend John is caddying for Sergio. Shout out to them. So it's just really fun to like see that part of it. For sure. I like the emotional side of sports. Shocker.

But when you say it's the greatest week of the year. Yeah, and I know you're not the only one who says this, So I'm trying to help out everybody at home so that we can all understand each other better. Why is this one because there's four majors?

Did I get that right?

You're wow, well done.

We are married majors.

So and when I say it's the greatest week, so what we have had Opening day of baseball, the end of March madness, which is you really astutely pointed out it's April madness. We don't really do much in March anymore, but we still call it March Madness because of the alliteration. So we had March Madness on Monday, you have leading into the week of the Masters. It's just it's a great time in sports.

Oh so it's more than golf. It's baseball and basketball too, So that's why. Okay, so for me, this is like when my like three favorite Housewives franchises are all airing at once on Brova.

And that kind of leads into god un for the Roses season. Okay, we have big with Kentucky Derby coming up. It's just it's an awesome time. But the Masters is really spring has sprung. It's just it's a great time that this kind of kicks off the year. And it's the most prestigious of all of the majors.

For sure, it's the biggest one, even of the major.

Yeah, the US Open, it's it's more competitive, but to win the Masters and to win that green jacket, and this goes back to Eisenhower and Bobby Jones, and it's it's kind of just as you said, the history how exclusive it is.

And I also feel like you, I mean, I know because I see all of our friends and neighbors, their husbands are are getting into it. You got we have a watch party for the finale. What is it?

What's the ending? It's not the finale, the final round, the final round, the finale.

Okay, it's the most dramatic golf round ever.

So we have a watch party.

We're going to on Sunday. Our friend William Beckman is performing. He performed at our wedding.

Django is going to be performing as well.

Jango Walker, he's awesome.

Hey, Jeff Walker's son. So here's the thing. If you go into my phone right now, you could choose any of my group texts. I would say one hundred and eighty percent of them are just masters texts.

Well the math on that ain't math.

And gambling, just gambling with each other picking over unders. Who's going to go with gambling? You bet okay? Our friend Jeff put out. We just throw out bets. So this morning, Jeff goes, okay, I'm setting the over under on Tiger Woods score today at seventy five point five or over.

Oh no, I was wondering how much money are you betting on?

Twenties of dollars?

That is one thing I love about in twenties, like you bet on golf, but you're like, we bet twenty bucks.

Nobody wants to hurt anybody group. We just want to be able to say I've got I got that venmo from you.

So oh wow, I didn't even think about that.

Now you can gamble with your friends so easily from across the country, just venmo.

You just have to be very sly about what you're doing because if they know you're gambling, they take oh they take a percentage.

Never mind, we're not. You're not doing that. That's why paigeysh owe them money.

Okay, they can kiss my you know what.

But so give the people at home, Yes, a couple phrases maybe we can say, or things we can say so that we can almost fool our partners if we're the non sports person and make them turn and go, wait, what'd you say?

How do you know that I'm going to give you one sentence? You know how? I think it's great that the patrons can't have cell phones on the grounds and they just have to really experience it. No, you know, when you see when you see Tiger Woods driving, no one's holding up cell phones behind them. Just and make sure you say, patrons, not fans, not the crowd. We call them patrons at Augusta. So say, you know what's really cool, Babe, I love that the patrons can't have

It's it's no scurrying.

You walk. And what about a power walk you cannot you can you can power walk. There's a great video came, but you cannot have a phone. And so it's it actually is so wild that And when I was there, you leave your phone in the car and everybody is just interacting and experiencing.

I love that.

It's really wild. It takes you back to the nineties.

Can we share the funny story of me almost going to the Masters without you?

Yes, So let's just tell the story. We give Hunter.

We'll give Hunter and Kelly a shout out.

Kelly Travis Ham, a former Bachelor contestant who you've stayed good friends with her husband Hunter. They were at our wedding in Austin which season was Kelly on.

She was with uh one, Pablo Andman and that whole.

Crew okay, and so you've stayed friends.

Yeah, so we've stayed friends. And Hunter invited us very kindly to the Masters. I said I couldn't go, and he said, well, if Lauren would still like to come, she can come hang out with Kelly, so sweet way.

I love Kelly.

Yes, but for me to go to a golf tournament, And this is where I bring it up because you then told.

Me, babe, you know, you wouldn't even be able to have your phone out there, like Kelly, I love you, babe, I wouldn't.

There's not a The only redeemable thing about a golf tournament for me is that I get to film it and like have fun with it on Instagram. And if I couldn't even do that, I'm just watching it.

Oh my god.

And when I say no phones, I don't mean it's it's discouraged or they'll tell you to put it away. If you have a phone, they will take your phone. They will take your ticket and escort you off the Premier and you will never go back.

Oh wow.

They do not f around.

Okay, because you've played at Augusta several times, which I think is on a lot of people's bucket list.

It is a number one bucket list.

Any can you give people a little insight what is it like to play at Augusta because the tradition, like the no cell phones thing, what are some of the other like traditions and rules that they have, and what are like the accommodations like it Augusta.

The accommodations aren't they're every We always say in golf, it's everything you need, nothing you don't. It's not overly fancy, it's not ostentatious.

Twin bed it real.

There was a I was in a twin bed one time that I sent you a picture of. Yeah, but you know it's it's Eisenhower's cabin and you see, you know, Ronald Reagan was there, and you see a picture of Ronald Reagan sitting on the couch that you're sitting on. So the history of it all, and there's these you know, there's a bird's nest where above the pro shop where President Eisenhower had his secretary and his office so he

So wow, So this is checking all your boxes. History, yeah, history and golf okay.

And so it it really is amazing, and the food is incredible. The wine it has one of the best wine sellers in the world.

Oh my gosh, no wonder you love this place.

Which the Smalia will take you down and you can visit the wine cellar and it's fun to kind of cruise around. As far as the golf goes, it's second to none. It's one of the it's the most manicured, spectacular golf course as you'll ever see. As they say, it's one of the best pieces of grass because once you walk out the backside of the locker room, it just looks like one big piece of grass that is just pure.

Let me have a little fun right now, Yeah, and test your knowledge. What kind of grass is it?

Oh? I don't know.

I'm shocked. I all the different types of grass.

You actually should know that. That's really a that's really a miss by me, but it is. It is. They are unbelievably kind because you have to be there with a member, and once you are welcome by a member, you are essentially treated like a member to a certain degree, and they're very respectful. They know you're there at a probably a once in a lifetime opportunity, and so it really is. It's they treat it as a very special thing.

Not like, oh, are you a member or not?

All they know who the members are and they know who isn't so and you mind your p's and q's. I mean, there's a suit and tie at dinner. You are very respectful of the rules. There are no phones. You cannot even when you're playing there, you're not pulling your phone. Wow, I talk to you, which I have? You go back to the cabins so.

You're not allowed to take a picture. I got a hole in one and Augusta.

They will allow you to bring a digital camera or an old school camera and you.

Can take Oh that kind of works because by the way those are back. I noticed that with the kids on spring break. We're coming back around. Everybody's got a digital camera.

Now everybody is doing the cameras again.

People at home. You know how much I love Here's what I'll do.

If Chris is playing in a golf tournament or something, I'll turn to one person and be like, hey, can you tell me something smart to say? And they'll give me like something I have no idea what it means, like, oh, say, the greens are really rolling fast right now, and then I turn to someone else and say that, and they think I know what I'm talking about. So I want a few more of those things. And maybe by bringing this up, it'll spur something that like people at home

Tiger He's playing with Tiger Woods for the first two rounds, which is very Oh.

Oh my gosh.

Your two friends are out there playing together and competing with each other.

How fun is that?

And then also your pal Wyndham Clark.

Dubs in there. This is his first Masters.

That's very exciting.

So do you reveal a little something about what you try to do with Wyndham Clark.

Yeah, because it didn't work at Pebble Beach at the at and T I would always play with Wyndham Clark and he is he won the US Open last year Major Champion winner Taysha our good friend Taysia Adams, former bachelorette or Bachelorette. I tried to hook her in Wyndham Clark up, And in fact I did what I did was I had a big table at dinner at at Spanish at the end, and I invited Taysia and I invited Wyndham.

Clark in my mind, great couple.

And I sat them across from each other.

No, you took this as far as they had dinner together.

Oh one hundred percent. And I made sure there was like twelve of us at dinner, and I made sure that they were sitting across from each other.

Where was I I can't believe I missage.

No you didn't.

You weren't you weren't there that day you came. I think I was one of those times you came the next day. And so I had Wyndham and I let them both know that they were both single, and I think they went out on a date or two. They actually dated for a bit and Wyndham was kind of in a different place and just didn't work out. They both they're still friendly. I believe they. I don't know

What'd she say?

She just laughed, she laughed.

Okay, so we got Jason Tiger Wyndham.

You know.

I mean, as I was kind of setting up our living room for you, I saw Jack Nicholas's there winging on everything.

Of the legends.

These these are the moments I actually do love sports because it's sort of beautiful, like people coming together in like, you know, we all crave community now, you know, And.

This is one of those moments.

I saw somebody say the other day, why was Taylor Swift's Eras tour so big? Like, yes, it's Taylor Swift, yes we love her, but it was like next level, the biggest tour in history. And one person suggested, and I think there's some truth to it because we're all living such isolated, lonely not lives now we crave communal,

Babe. You know what's cool about Augusta Those subair units that they put under the greens and under the fairways. Did you know that it can heat or cool the grass and suck water out?

Oh wow?

So if it rains at Augusta, they have a very particular special thing that And you can hear the fans as you're walking on the grounds because obviously the air has to go somewhere. They have these like units that blow the air out, but they can suck moisture out of the grass, so even if it's raining, it's playable, okay. And so they can firm up the greens, they can, and if it's freezes, they can heat them up and keep them. Wow.

Insider knowledge, okay.

And what about like the odds, like who's gonna win this weekend?

This is a tough question.

Scotti Scheffler, University of Texas, Austin, Boy. He is the heavy, heavy favorite. If you want to go in and really blow your significant other way saying you know what I know. Scotti Scheffler is the heavy favorite. But his putting has been suspect, and you gotta be a good putter to win it Augusta, not the.

Putting being suss.

Okay, oh, I've heard you say that. Augusta's a lot about the puzzy.

If anything is going to expose you at Augusta, it's the greens and they are lightning quick and they are so subtle. It is so hard to pussure. And if Scotti Shchuffer has one hole in his game, it's putting, so that'll really golf wise, that'll really blow your your person.

Away one hole in his game, am I right now? All right?

Well, I always love when we get to talk a little bit about something.

Thank you, Thank you for giving me that.

You're so welcome. I know this is a big week for you.

Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever and make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.