This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas today. And no matter what I'm doing, you guys know I love love and I never get tired of talking love and relationships. You think I would be after all these years, but I always find it fascinating. And today's guest I actually met her Gosh probably a decade
ago when she was involved with a reality show. I hate to say a bachelor knockoff show because that makes it seem like it was tawdry and I was nothing bad. But she was hosting another show and a part of another show while the Batcheler was on, and we ended up meeting at some event where we talked about our two shows. Well. She is one of the most famous matchmakers in the world. Amber Keller Hurt Andrews, who is a part of Keller Her International, the number one matchmaking
company in the world. Old her mom started this, Jill Gosh back in nineteen eighty six, and then Amber as she grew up, got to be a part of this as well, and now it's her full time gig and is phenomenally successful. And after that many years of being a top matchmaker, just has great insight how much has changed in dating, celebrity dating, and all the things that we read and all the headlines. What's true, what's fact, what's fiction, So so many topics I wanted to cover
with Amber today. So very happy to have her on the show. Welcome Amber to the most dramatic podcast ever, and Amber joins me, Now, it's good to see you again. It's been a while.
It's been a long time. I think it's been ten years, maybe twelve.
I love it by the way you remembered almost exactly where we were, and I think you're right. We ran into each other and we were kind of discussing because back then you were kind of in the world of reality TV love, and of course I was knee deep in the world of reality TV love, and we were kind of exchanging war stories.
Yes, yes, and we shared a showrunner, so we were talking about that. And I think the Bachelor was a little nervous about Ready for Love, and I think Ready for Love was a little anxious about what was what was going to happen, and you and I were like kind of in the center of all that. So we had that in common and we kind of bind it over. You know.
It's funny. I always thought about that, you know, because yeah, the Bachelor was always the most ripped off and copied franchise, but rightfully, so if something's doing well, it's kind of like when American Idol did well, it's like, great, let's create a bunch of singing shows. My my thinking was always this. You know, obviously the you know, imitations to see in cerrus form of flattery, but I also believe
that there's room for great shows. If the Bachelor is doing great and you're doing your job, no matter what it is. By the way, it's kind of like your job now, matchmaking. There's room for other matchmakers, but that's not going to hurt you because you're good at what you do. And I always felt the same way about The Bachelor. It's like Ready for Love and all these other shows weren't going to make a dent on The Bachelor because we were good at it. And eventually, though,
I look now at that marketplace, it's wide open. It's right for the taking because the Bachelor has fallen by the wayside. So now you see love is blind, you see f boy Island, you see love you know all these other shows.
I'm married at first site.
Yeah, they're finding their market share, they really are.
It's kind of like restaurant row. You have a restaurant and then another one comes in and you're like, ooh, it's competition. But if you get three or four or five, now everybody wants to go to a restaurant row, and you end up benefiting from all of it. And no, I mean honestly, Chris, being that I was in the entertainment business and I don't know. I think I shared this story with you, but I don't know if you
would have even remembered. But when you got cast for The Bachelor, they knew already they wanted to do a franchise for the Bachelorette, and I was called in to be the host of the Bachelorette because I was at the time friends with the studio. I was an actress, but I was also doing match making and they thought
that that would be really interesting. But what ended up happening is your show was so successful, and it really was surprising that a dating show would be so successful that they immediately said, we're not going to touch this. We're going to just move it over to the Bachelorette. We're going to keep the same house, We're going to keep everything the same because to your point, they just wanted a cookie cut cookie cut, just go, go go.
And so I went from possibly hosting the Bachelorette to not even a chance because they weren't going to touch it. And they were right to do that, because you ended up keeping that consistency going from one show to another, and everybody trusted you and followed you, and so yeah, you were all over the world. You literally had this unexpected i'm sure, just career of interesting stuff. And then I went on to start Kelling Her because that was right at the time that my mom was doing it.
So for me, I don't think I would have ended up running the world's top matchmaking firm because I would have been dealing with girls getting drunk in hot tubs.
Man, we should have kind of should have switched places. You could have saved me a lot of heartache and a bad back traveling around the world, but you did. So you started Kelling Her, your matchmaking company. Well that would have been some over twenty years ago.
Well, it actually started thirty eight years ago. So my mother started Keller Her in the eighties. Yeah, and I was still in high school, but I ended up watching her, and then when I went to Los Angeles and started acting, and you know, like I did a lot of sitcoms and TV shows, Baywatch and Married with Children and Melrose Place and those those days, which is going to date me, but it was very fun and I thought that that's what I wanted to do. And it didn't matter what
side of the camera I was on. I really enjoyed just making a creative project with a group of people. And so I would sometimes be an assistant to the director or I was a script supervisor. But anyway, my mother was growing Keller her and at one point it felt like it was too small to just have a San Francisco office, and so she asked me if I would run the Los Angeles office for her. It was never like be my partner. Let's let's go global with a matchmaking because nobody's ever heard of it and we
can conquer the world. It was like, hey, could you answer the phones for me down in LA because I'm getting too many calls, And so she just thought she'll separate the numbers. I'll answer the two, one three and the three one oh and she'll answer the four, one, five, you know.
Yeah.
But as soon as soon as I started answering the phones, I thought, well, this is so interesting. I want to meet this person. And then I would meet them, and I thought, well, she doesn't need to match them. I think I could figure this out. And so I knew so many people in the business. I was matching all the producers and actors and everybody that I knew with the clients, and that's kind of how we ended up,
like Matchmaker to the Stars. I was already in the industry, and so whether it was the head of Paramount or the head of CBS or whatever it was, these people were all single and they all needed, you know, love, and they weren't finding it because there were no dating services, there were no apps, and there certainly weren't We didn't even have computers.
At the time to say, I mean, your mom Jill started this back in nineteen eighty six, and I'm not even going to go back to nineteen eighty six because that's just too far. Even when you really got in earnest a part of this, think how much it's changed. And in all people even ask me, you know, how has data changed since the batchler started, Well, we started in two thousand and two thousand and one, I mean that twenty four years, the world, technologically speaking, has changed exponentially.
So how I mean you try to quantify that? How much has it changed just since you started the matchmaking business.
I've seen so many trends. And we have a new gal that started going from an internship into what we call a network developer, which is a step before you become a matchmaker. And we were talking about these trends just yesterday, and it's really interesting because you can see how the world changes a little bit through talking to people. So the example that we were using is, you know, we did get computers eventually. In nineteen ninety seven, I had a computer on my desk. I didn't know what
to do with it, but I had one. And all of a sudden, this one client said she no longer wants to talk on the phone. She only wants to email. And I said, well, what's an email? And I couldn't figure out what an email was? And then when I found out it was something that she writes, I said, well, that's the most impersonal thing I could ever imagine. Why would I want to read something on a screen when I'm we talk on the phone. So, you know, we
got really busy as a society. We no longer could wait for that long facts, right, it was like instant and you know, same thing with like our health. I would interview people and they would say, well, I work out once a week, and it was like, ooh, wow.
Okay, you work out.
That's cool. You know, like where are the gyms? We didn't really have any. And then, you know, I remember a couple of years later, some you know, people would start saying, well I work out twice a week, and it's like, oh my god, that's amazing. And then it was three times a week, you know, and now it's like, yeah, if I don't work out every single day, I'm not
going to be able to get through my day. So you see these trends that happen and the world is moving a lot faster and people don't have time to really spend on themselves unfortunately. So the difference between a dating app where it's like swipe, swipe, swipe, go waste your time and start all over every single time you meet someone, you start from the beginning, Start from the beginning.
Matchmaking still is traditional. It still is old fashioned in the way that we kind of unplug you a little bit and we say, you're actually going to have a nice, you know, introduction with somebody over lunch or dinner, preferably dinner, and you're going to have a conversation. And the good thing about it is that they've already pre approved this person.
We've already met this person, We've vetted them. This is not going to be some catfish or some girl, for example, that doesn't look anything like her photos, or some man that lied about his marital status. The things that people have to go through on their own is really kind of crushing. And people have become they have a fatigue and a withdraw from the dating apps, and we're seeing that right now and it's actually kind of depressing.
Well, it definitely is. And I just had a guest on yesterday. We weren't even talking about dating, but we ended up there, as all my interviews tend to do. So I love love, and I love love, and I'm still still very much entrenched in this world. But so let's say you are a client. Let's say I'm a client, what is the process because everybody is Fatigue is such a great word to use. I was going to say exhausted,
but fatigue's even better. We are so fatigued by just I mean, for lack of a better word, the bullsh that you're having to deal with in the dating apps. From what I understand, I'm not on them, but it's like drinking from a fire heightrant. It's just too much. You're inundated with it. And like you said, it's like a menu people are just swiping through. So let's say I'm tired of it. I'm going to step up my game. I'm going to call Keller her. I'm a client. What is the process? Walk me through it.
Your entire life changes instantly.
Bluebirds on my shoulder.
Yeah, exactly, all of a sudden, it's color, the world's color. It's a very good process for anybody and everybody to go through because when we write about ourselves on a form, let's say that we're going to put on Tinder or Match or whatever it is, we put who we want people to perceive us as. We never really put who
we truly are. Yeah, so when you don't really relate with who you truly are, it's very hard to attract the right partner because you're going to keep attracting people that are going to show you through afflection what you're missing. They're going to show you through reflection what your dysfunctions are, and you keep blaming that person, but meanwhile, you haven't
been honest with yourself. So in the beginning, when you join Kellor Her, we have a consultation on the phone, which is really enlightening for a lot of people because they feel safe and they feel like there's actually a chance to talk to somebody who can see them for who they are, who can appre shape them for who they are. Everybody deserves. So my mom always says, there's a lid for every pot. So you know, if you're honest with yourself and you are not a bullshitter, then
you will find your match. And what's nice about Kellihers you start with that process. Then we get, you know, photographs. Some people want to have professional photos taken. That's fine. We don't show photos to other matches. It's not like we're sending Chris Harrison's photo out to everybody. A lot of people that are high celebrities that we don't even say their last name. You know, we would say Chris
is great. He comes from the entertainment business. You know, he loves love, he's a family man, and he's he's got a great podcast. We would describe who you are, the things that you like to do, and the outdoors and all this. We wouldn't put who Hollywood or who People Magazine perceives you as, right, because that's yeah, that's not really who you are, right. So okay, so it starts with that, and then what ends up happening is, well, first of all, give you kind of a little bit
of a higher level. We get about twenty thousand unique visits month to our website. Okay, there's no way we can take twenty thousand people, right, So we have software that narrows it down to about a thousand that might actually be good fits. But we still can't talk to a thousand people, So we talk to about one hundred, and we base that really on cities that make sense for us age, that makes SEMs for us marital status of course, being single enough money to be able to
afford matchmaking. But you can join for free. I'll just throw that out there in case we forget to get back to that. You can be in our files for free. But there's a lot of categories that boom boom boom always in at twenty thousand dollars, and then there's like one hundred people that you actually want to talk to, and out of that hundred, we take about twenty five. And so when we're having those conversations, it's really about are you ready? It's really about do you know who
you are? It's really about are you in love with who you are? Are you okay and happy with who you are? Because that's the person that we want to match. And if you're not, then maybe we do a little bit of coaching. If we're not, then maybe we show you the reasons why you keep choosing the wrong person. I had a guy say I'm joining for you to protect me from myself. I said, what does that mean? He said, I walk into a room every single time,
there'd be one hundred beautiful girls. I'll choose the wrong one every single time.
Well, it's funny, you know this. We have a lot of parallels in our life because one of the things that I found often on The Bachelor was that we have an idea when we go into a room, like you just said, of what we want. I always date blonde, I'm always with brunettes or whatever. I like athletic or
I like this. It's really funny because oftentimes they didn't know what they really wanted and they didn't realize, you know what, you're just always dating your mom or you're always you know, it's like you have these dysfunctions that you're always falling into these same traps. And so that's what that's what we found compelling on The Bachelor is because oftentimes you don't know what's best for you, which is why, Yeah, you've ended up in this situation, and
so you cut. You do have to cut through the bs to figure out what is this person really looking for and you really have to kind of have to slap them upside the head and put it in front of them to.
See that exactly exactly. So we call it a journey. It is an adventure, but it's a journey. So it's not like, oh, I'm wealthy, I'm going to pay you in I deserve, I deserve to have a match. It's like, I'm going to work with you. We're going to do this together. We're going to dive into all the things that worked about past relationships, things that you were missing in those relationships. Any any sort of not we all
have dysfunctions, but anything that might trip you up. And then you're really good at being more discerning and you're really good at not wasting your time because we are very good at what we do and we're able to kind of get rid of the the you know, the riff raff, and so our clients learn how to do that as well, and so they end up happier about themselves, more confident about themselves. And then they start actually meeting people on their own while they're with us, and they're like,
this never happens. And it's because they have this like new excitement and they're inspired that actually love is real and it can happen to them. And I think that that's why it's a little bit of an adventure as well as a journey. But just to finish what we do is then then we match you based on you know, who you are and where you live and all that.
We've got match makers all over the United States and almost all the major cities, and then of course we're overseas and like London and places like that, but we work with people anywhere from one to two years. It shouldn't take longer than that. Sometimes people don't really want to rush. Not everybody wants to get married. But we match you and then we talk to you. Why'd you think, Chris? What'd you like? What didn't you like? What were their expectations?
What you know? And we have a real conversation. And instead of a psychiatrist that gets to hear their client complain about every single guy that never calls her back and she's the greatest match and she doesn't understand why none of the guys can figure it out, and she only hears that girl's story, we're the fly on the wall.
We get to hear what he thought about her host sides, both sides, and then we go, well, actually, did you know you were extremely rude to the staff, you know what I mean, like we can rush And then they go, yeah, you did ask him a single question, you had three drinks before your first entree. And then they kind of go, I did anyway, So you do learn about yourself and it is exciting and we bring love to you.
Cutting through the riff raff is interesting because that is something you know. I have friends, very successful friends, and they talk about dating and I'm like, you're what you want is a plaything, you're not really serious about a relationship. And you get some of these high powered CEOs men and women and they're just they want life their way and they are used to earn money at it. And that's who you're dealing with, is some of these very
powerful people. How do you cut these people to the quick and say no, no, this isn't how we're going to go about this.
That's a really good point, Chris, because people that are extremely successful in their careers expect to be the same amount of success. We actually did a twenty twenty show years ago, and you know, it's not often clients will go on TV, but this gentleman was willing to do it. And I forget the name of the woman that stars on twenty twenty, but she sat him down in a chair. And of course we can't tell a you know, a journalist what to say, right, We're just like taking our
wrists the whole time. And she says, she says, why would you pay? Why would you rich, good looking car house? Why would you pay for a match? And I, my mom and I are start just like saying because we were like, oh my god, I didn't like that. Yeah, And we were just like looking like this, and he says, I grew up and I was told getting a PhD was going to be tough. I was told starting a career was going to be tough. I was told being
successful was going to be tough. Buying a house was going to be tough, getting the car and he says, that was easy. Nobody taught me about finding love. And he said, and I don't want to just end up with anybody. I worked so hard my whole life. I want to share it with the right person. And she just went, oh, like that makes a lot of sense. I just smiled and we're like, oh my god, because I thought he was going to go I don't know, you know, like I just they seemed nice and you know,
and uh, but that's how they think about it. They they go, you know, I'm successful in everything, but something, something's not clicking here. And so we remind them. We don't have to slap them out of it, but we remind them that love is not business, that love is of the heart, that love is anything but a business deal.
I think when I think when you're in a marriage, I think a lot of business techniques can come in and really be helpful, especially with finances and who's in charge of what and kids, and you know, it gets all complicated. So having some sort of business savviness, but when you're just going for love and your heart and being vulnerable and being seen for who you truly are, you have to not look at it as a business transaction.
And you can't speak like a business transaction. If a gentleman calls a woman to make a date, she can't schedule you in on Thursday at six right, right, And she shouldn't go from work to and neither should he. You should go home. You should take a shower, You should listen to some music. You should put some clothes on that are nice. You should think about how exciting it's going to be to meet somebody, and you should walk out that door having nothing to do with the business of the day.
I wish life was that simple for most people. I do have to ask you a couple like celebrity gossipy relationship questions, your take, your initial take on Taylor Swift and Travis What do you think?
Oh jeez, did you have to ask me? Yeah?
What do you think?
Okay, So I think that they're a really great couple. I think that they are in life. I think that it is real, but I think it didn't. I don't like the connection to the pharmaceutical companies. I don't like the connection to the you know, when Harris got off the plane, they said it was gonna be a Taylor Swift concert and everybody showed up and they're like, where's Taylor. I don't like how they are being used and how they're maybe even agreeing to be used politically and and
for things like vaccines and stuff. I think it's I think it becomes icky. And then I start thinking, is this a manufactured, you know, relationship with that could otherwise just be super cute? But like, you know, are they trying to you know, why do we need to have swifties at football? Like just do you know what I mean? So, I think that it is a way out of control.
I agree with the sincerity of it. I ran into him. We were at the same golf tournament and I ran into Travis and Jason, the two brothers, and genuine guy, and he's I think he's just loving life and having a blast. And I think it takes, you know, speaking of matchmaking, it takes someone that could handle that spotlight and that Aura, because Taylor's the most famous woman in the world right now. She's on the level of the Beatles. It's insane. We've never seen anything like it in our generation,
and so who could handle that heat. It's either you're hidden away and no one's ever heard of you, and that's a disaster because that's toxic, or it's someone who can is so big and his shoulders are so broad that he can handle the swifty Nation.
Yeah, and I think it's genuine, and I think it's really cute, but I feel as though there's other pressing things that are.
Tugging at them. Yeah, yeah, I know.
I don't think it's not his job to tell everybody to go get vaccinated. It's like, you just won the football game. Is this the new thing? I'm going to Disneyland instead. It's like they'll get your shot.
Look, I'm like, what is he doing?
I just I just because you there's so much polarization already, like, let these two just be in love and stop using them. So I get very defensive when I see somebody as as as talented as her and has and as awesome as he is, and I think that they're both really nice people, and I think they both are really in love, but I'm very scared with how they're being used.
This next couple. I won't ask if you're surprised, because nobody's surprised that Ben and Jayla were divorced. That was something that we all saw, that train coming down the track. I guess my question would be what could you do to help Ben? And I think Jaylo's gonna be fine. I think Jaylo's fine. Ben is I don't know. I find him this kind of sad, tragic story or I'm like, how do we how do we help this young man? I know he's not young.
I think it's the opposite. I think, okay, I think Ben's going to be fine. I think he was like, what the heck was I thinking? And Jen's like I have a reputation and I have an ego, and I have this and then that, and now it's now it's it's crushing him. My concerts aren't going as well and I had to cancel this. And now I think she's probably like, oh my god, what am I going to do?
Because she has a certain image. Ben's like, whatever, I married this woman because I was so in love with her and so infatuated I didn't even realize how messed up this was. Yeah, And now he's like so he's just like I'm going to walk over here and just take a deep breath.
And she's scrambling back to Duncan Donuts to yeah fact.
And I think whatever he does and wherever he goes, he will feel better than where he came from.
I totally agree with that.
And I don't think he gives a rat's ass what he looks like or is thought of. But I think she's scrambling and I feel for her because she wanted that more than anything in the world.
I'm sure, like me, you are very good at reading body language. Now, it's just it's a trait that you get after so many years of watching people. And his body language was just if you could stick a caption over, just be miserable. Just he looked miserable. It's like blink twice if you need out, And it was like, just let this say, man go.
If he's a Dunkin Donuts with a cup of coffee, he's like, yeah, I'm actually good.
Yeah, a cigarette, a cup of coffee, and a Dunkin Donut. He feels like, oh thank god, I'm free. Yeah, Yeah, a lot of people listening right now are single, and many listening I just went through a breakup or divorce and they're back on the scene and it is daunting. So give me some steps for people that are just
getting back on the scene. Like I remember when I first got divorced, I'd been married for twenty years, and I'm like, I'm hosting the most famous love show on television and I don't really even know how to do this. It's like I hadn't done it in twenty years. I hadn't done it since the nineties. So where do people start? Because you know, the apps are daunting, The whole thing is daunting.
Well, first of all, nobody knows how to do it, and if they did know how to do it, then they would only go out and do it once, right, right. The ones that are good at doing it are actually the worst because they keep they keep going out and doing something wrong. So I think my advice is a
little bit different than what most people would think. And I think it's really important for people to understand that their energy and their mindset and their I don't want to get to fufu like your aura and all this, but you know, people have a certain energy about them when they walk in the room, and it really is important that that's why you need to be happy with yourself. You shouldn't go date to go find somebody that's going to make you happy, right because that person isn't going
to be the right match for you, right. You need to be happy first. So what my advice would be is really do a self dive if you can't afford a match making firm. Kelliher International is not the only matchmaking firm. To your point, we're the best, We've been around the longest. We're expensive, and we work with really high end, very successful entrepreneurs that travel the world and kind of have it all and it's been a very
interesting career and I love it. And you can join for free because lots of our clients want to meet somebody that might not be in their income bracket, and so you know, we're able to go outside of the group.
We're a search for ultimately. But I think that for anybody, whether you join matchmaking, especially when you join matchmaking because now you've got money on the line, or whether you're just going out there and trying a dating app or just trying to meet people at a bar, you have to do a self dive, you have to think about
what makes me happy. And you know what a vision board is, right, So if you do a vision board, a lot of people say he has to be handsome, or she has to be the prettiest girl in the room, or he has to have a you know, he has to have a doctor's degree, or she needs to have her own business. Yeah, six foot three, da da da dah. So that's fine. You can put all of the things that you want. But what that is is not an energy.
What that is is a label, okay, and that label doesn't have any sort of connection to anything other than for you to be like no, no, no, no, no, go down the list. He's not this, he's not that, she's not this, she's not that. And so there really isn't anything inspiring. There isn't anything loving, There isn't anything attracting it. But if you think about why do I want him to be tall? Well, I want to feel protected. Oh now there's an emotion. Okay, I want her to
be really beautiful. Why Well, like you said, my mother was really beautiful. Oh so there's a familiarity. So you want to find what is the emotion behind that.
People look at you and yeah, yeah.
So now you want to you want to feel confident, So that means you probably are a little bit insecure, right, So what so if you can get to the emotion of what that really is, because when we say we want to make a lot of money and we want to have this, really all that matters is that we want to be happy, right, And some people are happy with a lot of money and some people are happy without.
But the thing is is that they're happy. So if you can figure out what are all these silly little things that I'm listing on all these dating apps, and
what does any of this mean? And then you can figure out the emotion behind it, and you can get in touch with that emotion and think about that when you walk out the door, you'll start to attract people that will give you that confidence, that will give you that sense of familiarity, that will give you, you know, the protection, because those are emotions that can actually attract.
There is a real thing called law of attraction, and I've watched it with couples for twenty twenty five twenty seven years.
It's real interesting to figure that out. With the moment you see them. I mean, if they're looking down their shoulder and you just tell if they're ten, you're like, okay. Or if someone's open and bright and looking around and ready to take in the world, like you get that, you can feel that for sure.
Yeah. Yeah, So that's really and anybody can do it.
Anybody can do a self reflection. Anybody can look at their list and then once you write that list down and then you figure what that emotion is and you put the list away, put it in the drawer, and don't even think about it anymore, and really just know that you're going to meet somebody, and be excited about meeting somebody, and every night when you go to sleep, think about how great it's going to be when they're sharing the bed with you, because that's how you get there.
How is it different dealing with I mean, I hate to say regular people in celebrities, but you have dealt with a lot of celebrities. How to copy is one of your famous ones that you've helped, and you've dealt with many, many, many others. What's the difference in the celebrity world versus just the CEO world. They're all and I want to hear your take on it that I have something to add to it.
I think, no, what were you going to say, yeah, it's funny, is I mean?
I think people have this idea. I remember Charlie's thrown years ago. She had mentioned something about The Bachelor and someone said something she was a fan of the show at the time, and she said, I can't find a date, you know, because no one asked me out. I think people have this idea that these people are on a take,
they are above reproach. They are And the truth is they they actually well, they don't want to be treated like everybody else for a majority of their life, but in a but in the emotional side, they do want to be treated by like everybody else. They just want to be They want someone to buy them a drink, they want someone to open a door, they want someone to buy them dinner, they want to go to a show.
They want the same things. But I think people feel like there is this aura around them that like, oh, you know, Jennifer Aniston doesn't do that, Charlie's Starren walks on water, she doesn't do those things. The truth is they do and they're vulnerable and they're insecure, just like anybody else.
Yeah, they put their pants on one leg at a time.
Yeah, they just cost more.
It's true. I was down at the Mirrormar here in Montecita, where I live, and I picked up a pair of pants in one of the stores and they were seven thousand dollars. Okay, looking at that, right, But you're spot on with with celebrities, and I think that, you know, like Charlice might say that, and she might meet it in the moment, but if a guy walked up to buy her a drink, she also might not say okay. So it's a very interesting dynamic where they want to
be the same, but they don't act the same. And and you know it's interesting. I'm a philanthropic partners with Sir Richard Branson, who's my favorite partner, and when the Ready for Love did not continue, I went on to work with Richard. So things always happen for a reason.
You know, one door closes, the next one opens. One of the interesting things with Richard is that we bring celebrities to the island, but we have to understand their personalities just like matchmaking, because they're going to be in a setting with a bunch of entrepreneurs for five days. And we can't have them behave like a celebrity, right because nobody cares because these guys are the biggest and best and brightest in their businesses and they don't. They
kind of look down on a celebrity. Actually, it's kind of like, you know, okay, so you are in a movie, like, so what, so you're pretty right.
You probably dropped out of high school, you didn't get a college education, and you're a good actor or actress.
Yeah. Nowadays, with the whole thing that's going on with the women coming out and saying how they actually did get into the movies, you're like, oh, okay, so this is maybe fark really bad. So but I had a huge celebrity tell me. And I've actually had two big celebrities kind of say the same thing. One who's an
entertainer and probably top ten in the world. He said that when he comes home to his home in it's in the East Coast, and he closes the door, he sits in his library, and his library is just I don't know, probably thousands of square feet and it echoes.
And he said he can hear how alone he is because as a singer songwriter, he's very attuned to his ear and he said it's it's his favorite place to go, but it's a very sad place because he goes from these huge concerts with you know, hundreds of thousands of fans screaming, and then he goes home and he goes into the library to have a cup of coffee and he can hear how alone he is. But he also can't really date his fans, So it is, it is, It is difficult. Another one which was a big sports
guy that was in parade. You know, you win the trophy and the whole thing, and then and then everyone's like, ah'm touching you, touching you, and all of a sudden he closes the door and then they're like they're alone and they're silent. So I think that they crave love more. They're not allowed to really go out in public and just randomly date because the press is on it like is this the one? Who is this? So they have
to really protect themselves. When we match them, it's very private and we get them to at least so called the third date in terms of the first date being informed enough to feel like it's a third date. So we do really well with celebrities because they're not having to test the waters as if they were going out. And even when friends introduce friends, they might like this person and they might like that person and think that you guys are going to like each other, but that's
not how it works. You have to think side of the brain of that individual and what their needs are. And you can't just match two of your friends together. And that's why matching friends works, but it also really doesn't quite quite often.
And how do you prep because this is something that that I went through and dealt with on a smaller scale, just because I was on the Bachelor when I started dating, when I was dating, how do you prep the women or the man whoever is dating the celebrity to approach that and deal with that? Like I truly I went on a date one night and I tell the story often because it was so funny, But I you know, what's one of the first things you would do if you went on a date, like, oh, eb, what do
you do for a living? What do you know? What are your hobbies, what are your passions? What do you do? I mean, how are you buying this nice steak dinner we're having? I would want to know that. And I asking these questions, and this person I was on a date with literally didn't ask me one question about myself the entire time, and to the point of clearly she knew. So it gets to the point where you know that
they know they're avoiding it like the plague. And it was really funny because even they took our plates away, and before dessert came that this table, this nice couple sitting right next to us just leaned over and said, Hey, didn't want to bother during dinner, but love your show. We've always loved the batche Da da da da da.
And I said, hey, this, thank you so much, and they would they we didn't want to interrupt us, not interrupting at all, and they leave and I said, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry they interrupted, and she said oh, and still didn't pick up, like, didn't take it off at all, like, oh, what do you do? That's weird. Why would they know you?
Did she know who you were? Though? Like in the end, did she understand.
She had to have, because she never even to the point where I just ran to valet and I couldn't get in my car and get away fast enough. Clearly, and there wasn't a second date because there was the entire dinner, not one personal question.
It was so bizarre, and she'll continue to do that over and over and over again, thinking all the guys suck.
But clearly she either knew who I was and what I did prior to the day, and I'm guessing because we were set up on this date, so she didn't come into it blind and or she was just so oblivious to the world and how to be social. But my guess it was the prior And so I guess My question is that is usually a thing. Say someone's going out with I don't know Charlie's Darin. We'll just keep picking on her. I don't know her, by the way, But how would you prep somebody going on a date
in that situation? Okay, you know who you're going on a date with. How do you not make it a big deal but don't act like you don't know?
Well, this is where I think our brand is a little bit different than as a relationship expert, I would answer that differently than how we do it at Kellaher. So remember when we said we talked about one hundred people and we choose about two twenty five. If anybody is going to feel socially awkward or not really be able to hold their own at dinner. They're not going to make it into our group because we don't have
time to coach in that way. We have time to coach in how to be bigger, better, stronger, but like in terms of just general like you know, get your feet wet, get out there. It's you almost have to date a lot with something like that, you know what I mean, You have to go meet ten guys in a row to be able to understand like the different idiosyncrasies about personalities, how they're going to ask you questions a little differently, and you got to bounce it off.
It's almost like you got to go to a trade schools figure out how to date. So so as a relationship expert, I would dive in and I would work with that person and I'd figure out, you know, what was her impression of that date that night. I mean, that's the really fun part about being a matchmaker or anybody in relationships is we get to ask all the questions and so with that information we would we would
turn around and give them. But with Kellor her, we don't really prepare people for dates because they would be like, why are you telling me how to date? They would you know what I mean, Like, but but everybody messes up. So let's say somebody you know makes a mistake, we would be like, ah, I probably forgot that. You know, it's raining, and he left in his car first because he gave the valet his ticket, and then she's standing
there and he probably didn't think about it. And now he's gone and she's like whatever, I'm now standing in the rain waiting for my car, and for her it left a bad last impression, right. Well, if he and for him, he could be like, I know that was really dumb. I didn't know what to do. I got in the car. So we can have that conversation. But if a gentleman is rude and just dismissive at the end of every single date, now we have a pattern.
And I'm not saying that our clients are perfect or that they don't have faults, but we'll find them very quick.
Yeah, because you hear that feedback from both exactly.
But yeah, I think love in general is something that everybody wants, everybody deserves, everybody needs. It starts when we're really young, and you know, people find love at least through her in their seventies and their eighties. There's really no end to when you can have you know you guys did the you know the even though unfortunately didn't work out, but the Golden Bachelor, and all of a sudden, it was like, oh my god, I can be in
my sixties and seventies and fine. Love. Of course you can't happens all the time, maybe not in front of the world, but so I just think that being in the love business is so great.
Well, like you said, not everybody has to get married too, and I love that, Like you now, as you get older, people you know, can be very honest about what they're looking for. Of like, I just want a companion. I want to live out my days with somebody and share my life. And you can talk about maybe at a certain age you can't perform anymore. It's like physicalities off the table. But I want to share my life and be into me so much. Yeah, in other ways, and that's a that's a beautiful thing.
I just was in Hawaii two days ago on September fourth, which was a Labor Day. My husband and I celebrated our twenty five year congregulating anniversary.
We're coming up on our first Oh good.
That's good. But we actually when I moved to Los Angeles was kind of in the in the business, like when you were. We moved in together in nineteen ninety. So we're actually celebrating thirty four years together.
That's awesome.
But we spent nine traveling and living together and going around the world and before we got married. So nine years in when we gave out wedding invites, everyone's like, wait, you're you're not married. That's you didn't at some point you guys get married. It's like, nope, we haven't done yet. So it was really fun to go back to Kawai and celebrate and you're exactly right. There's you know, thirty four years, thirty five years with somebody. There's we've gone
through so much. We've gone through we have so many children and so much, you know, illnesses and surprises and gosh, to have someone with you, especially through times like COVID and through when uncertainty and stock markets and you know, pandemics and having someone by your side is really important and it's really it makes you feel, you know, like you're going to be okay, and it's never too late.
And there's never somebody that doesn't deserve to have love and to be loved, and so it's really important that everybody knows that they've got a chance and it will happen to them if they can find that love inside themselves.
Very well said and a great note to end on. I always said, that's why, you know, when I wrote my romance novel, That's why the Bachelor does well. There's an insatiable appetite for love because companionship is the thing we all want and we can all relate to, and we don't have it perfected, but you do. And that's why we come to you at keller Her International. Yes we can do it, and so like and I love
that you said, Look, there are others out there. Keller Her International is the best in the world and they're all around the world, but y'all are expensive. But seek others out if you're in a place that maybe you can't get to kill her or whatever, you find it. And that is a great avenue because I think we see these dating apps and think that's the only way
to do it. There are there's so much more of a personal emotional connection in touch with these dating services that do it right, So do your homework and go find one. I think that's a great avenue to go down.
Thank you, thank you, and it's so exciting to see you again.
I know it's good to reconnect after all these years. And happy anniversary, Happy twenty fifth anniversary. That's awesome.
Thank you, Thank you very much.
It can work, even in Hollywood. It can work.
It can work. It can work. It takes work, it does, no question, but it's worth it and it's amazing and Amber.
If we do want to chase down keller Her, what's the best way, Well, Keller.
I wore my shirt so that you know, people know how to spell it. It's k e l l e h e R. But we're on Instagram, we're on Twitter or x. But Kellerher hyphen International dot com is our website. So kellerherhyphen International dot com and you'll find us. And you know, we do events. We have a social club.
We do events all over the world, really great events like from the Super Bowl to driving the top cars in the world, to going to the Grand Prix, to going to Necker Island, which I do with Richard Branson. We're going in two weeks, two and a half weeks where we're going to bring a group of thirty five,
you know, business entrepreneurs and raise money for philanthropy. So they can come on board, and they can come on board for free, they can hire us, and maybe they can even do something socially with us.
I'm not going to be a client because but I'm not single. But when you throw the big event here in Austin, Texas, and I know you guys are here because this is a hotbed for us, everybody, let me know. I'll help co host for Remula one Yes October yep, Formula one week.
I think we're going to be there, so I will. I will. Like you know, the social club is for married people because we happen to know a lot of married people. It's kind of what we do. So and then they don't want to lose the connections because these people are extraordinary within the community and they're like, wait, I met somebody, but I don't want to really leave
the community. And so when we do these events, whether they're Safaris with Richard in Africa or going to Formula one one, it doesn't matter if you're single or married. It's really about joining a community of people that have inspiration and the desire to make the world a better place, and there's usually something philanthropic involved in it, which is what I love to do.
Well, Amber, thank you so much. It was great to catch up with you again. Your insight, your expertise. It is no wonder that you guys are as successful as you are there at Keller Hurt International. And I can't wait to be a part of the of this group someday.
The social club we're gonna meet in Austin, Texas, Formula one.
I'll buy the barbecue, all.
Right, that's a deal. I can't wait. That's going to be fun. I can meet your wife. Thank you so much, and congratulations on the podcast.
Thanks Amber, thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever, and make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.