This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. Chris Harrison and Lauren Z mccoveany from the home office in Austin, Texas love shows like Today because well, it's about you, guys. We reached out and said, hey, what questions do you have for LZ and I. It's always a moment of trepidation excitement as we find out what's on your mind and what you guys want to talk about. Elsie one of the things that I know we got questioned about and we can jump into it right away.
Merritt Street and how things are going? Where are you guys, and how's the network going?
I know, And there's still this element of like, people ask when are you going to be on merit and I feel bad because we're working on it. We are in the process of staffing up for our morning show. I think we can give that update. We are interviewing candidates for our morning show team and staff, and we are in the process. Well why don't you give the reality dating show?
The reality dating show? And people have asked more details about it, and we're not going to get into the concept of it yet, but what we will say is we are starting the you know again, kind of like the Morning Show, the production phase. We're going to get into casting and putting the show together and then, you know, I'm not sure. I hadn't thought about this when we would talk about the concept and when all that stuff will get out, But well down the road, I don't
think it is the time to know. It's definitely not yet, but but we do. Yes, we're very very good. We love the team we've put together, the people were working with, the people were working for, the Merritt family has been fantastic and Doctor Phil and Joel Cheatwood and everybody over there Phil McIntyre. So it's just been more and more exciting and I will have more and more Doctor Phil episodes popping up. I'll let you guys know via social
media when I will be on. Who knows when you're listening to this, but I know May seventh, there's one coming up. We're talking about the Nil College deal, so that one will be airing, so I'll let you guys know. But exciting stuff, and everything's going phenomenally well over there. That is the Merritt Street update. And by the way, Elsie looks up our next question. You can download the free app Merit Plus to watch free on any Apple devices. And also you can go to merritt Street dot com
and then you can put in your zip codes. You can find out how to watch on Dish, how to watch on direct and as we are adding subscribers, you can find out where you can watch. So there you go.
Okay, I'm going to dive in with a hot question. Send an anonymously. This is a relationships question. How long should you wait to have sex in a new relationship? I have my answer.
Okay, you have a definite you have like a.
I don't have a number. I just have a formula.
Okay, formula that's even better.
I think it's proportionate to you and where you're at in your life. Oh yeah, okay, And by that I mean and it's also your age is another part of that math equation. I do think, like I don't think people in their late teens early twenties. I think that at that age and I'm making a sweeping generalization, but I think at that age a lot of people think, oh, I can just took up with someone and like I
won't have any feelings. I also think there can be a difference between how males and females really feel in those situations. But if you're at that age and you're I think you just need to be honest with yourself. Are you convincing yourself, Oh, I can sleep with someone right away, I won't get attached. I think at that age of life you get more attached. Our feelings are big. At that age you have big obsessions, big swings. Breakups are hard. The older you get, the more in control
of your own feelings you hopefully become. If you're maturing and growing and working on yourself. And I do think the older you get, and especially as you know more of what you want, it can be easier to lessen how much time you become, like the length of time which you wait to be come intimate with someone. What do you think?
I think when it comes to having sex, buyer beware you need to know yourself, is what I'm saying. Know what you want out of this, And Lauren just hit the nail on the head. You have to be honest with yourself. I think we fool ourselves a lot and think you can do something and there's going to be no emotional tax. There is an emotional tax to it. If you're just going to jump and sleep around, and just know this. It does change things. The sex changes things.
And if you want more out of a relationship, if you want this to go somewhere, if you think there's a possibility of it being meaningful, then you need to treat it as such. You need to have respect for it. And I'm not being the old traditional you know, there's no definite time stamp of two dates, three dates, five dates a year, whatever. It's different for all of us, but there is a level of respect you need to have if you want something serious out of this relationship.
If you're going to just bop around on the first date and you're going to be treated as such, well, I don't be surprised when you are.
I think sex either makes things quickly less meaningful, like oh, this is just a hookup, or it makes things quickly more meaningful like oh what are we now? And now we're intimate, and it accelerates things that.
Can go either way. So yes, just be what do you want there be that can go either way for the guy girl or.
Advice is when it comes to sex, buyer beware.
Yes, well it's all right.
Jimmy wants to know a little bit more a little bit of a sex question. If your partner cheats on you, do you think there is ever a chance of making it work? Since I'm asking these questions, my answer is a little more ready swall you think on it? I do think so. I think I'm just a believer that relationships people make mistakes. I don't know, I've never gone into any relationship really Like, I'm not that person who's like things are black or white and if you do this,
it's over forever. I think guy make mistakes. I think everybody makes mistakes, and it's totally case by case in a relationship. And what's always proportionate to me or meaningful to me rather is one what was the intent when the person messed up? Were they being totally careless with you? Were they trying to hurt you? Or were they traumatized and hurt in some way themselves which created a mistake, Like where's their heart at and what's the intent? And two,
what's the effort on them fixing what they did? How committed are they? How much real work are they doing? And whether it's cheating or I don't know, hiding a gambling dead or abusing alcohol or whatever it is, I think those two things always tell me whether you should stay in a relationship.
This is another one that kind of, like the sex questions, very age and experience dependent, right. I think when we're younger, we have this kind of very black and white thought of the world.
And cheaters are bad.
Well, it's it's almost like you see you're evil. You see what some of the college kids are doing now with their ideas and their thoughts and the kind of revolution they got going on. It's like everything's very black and white. Right. It's that's when you're younger. I think you're able to have those things. As you get older, you realize there's a big gray area in life and you realize there's a lot of perspectives and you got to take things in and like Lauren said, it kind
of depends. It really depends on the person and in the experience and how they talk about it. So yeah, I just would say life's not so black and white. So the older you get, I think there is much more of that ability.
I think what you're talking about too, is like knowing what you don't know, which is a phrase you say a lot, like, for example, I've said this for a long time, part of the reason I would never say, if you if you know this person, sheets be done with them. I have no idea what it's like to be in a marriage for thirty years, right, I have no idea what it's like to be married to someone who I don't know is I'm just I knowing has been ill for many years. I don't know what arrangements
people have in relationships. I don't know what it's like to be like. I do know people who have cheated in situations where I'm sorry they were I knew that they were in a marriage with someone who was deeply mentally and emotionally abusive, like and eventually that marriage ended and they were just trying to find a way out and they were in a tough situation. Yeah, so I just don't you know, you don't know what you haven't experienced, I guess, and you have to try to be empathetic.
Definitely not a one size fits all answer.
I'll keep going, and then you should take over some of these so that I don't have to be answering.
First, you're the best host. Wow, thanks all answer first you can?
Okay, all right, let me throw it at you. Amy says, are there any people from Bachelor Nation that you wish you had maintained a friendship with who you didn't.
No, nobody that I wish i'd maintained. Because I have. I've maintained these relationships. There are people I well, lots of them that I wish I saw more. There are so many, you know. One of the beautiful things about our wedding was we got to see so many of them because you know, Ashley and Jared, you know, Jade and Tanner, like, we just don't get to see.
Them, especially because the pandemic yea Tristan Rossau just from having events for so everybody's just spread around the country. And so you know, Bob Getey, I don't even know if he lives in America, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, I don't know, but I don't get to see him enough and talk to you know, so we text and we keep in touch. But I wish I could see them more, because when we all do get together for
whatever reason, it's always such a lovely time. You know, it was somebody who I think you'd loved but hadn't kept in touch with as much. But we've reconnected with a bit here and we need to see him again soon, as Brad Walmack.
Yeah again. Yeah, I mean he's and he's right under our nose here in Austin.
But I mean when we first moved here, we got dinner and you were like, oh, it was so good to see you. So let's call Brad Walmack.
Let's call Brad Walmack. Yes. You know, if there's a takeaway from this podcast today, Brad, you're buying this dinner soon.
I don't think it's about it's all a wish that we could see people more. You're right, I like sometimes people pop up on Instagram and you feel like you're seeing them, but that in person hang is always better. But it's hard. Everybody's spread out everywhere and busy. But it's great to be in a place where you want to hang out with people and talk to them more. Grace is wondering what is your least favorite and most favorite job that you have had over the years.
What if it's the same one. I've had a lot of jobs, man, I've had a lot of jobs. I guess the craziest, happiest time of was beginning my sportscasting careers. Just everything was new. I was starting the adventure of launching this career. This is back in ninety three when I graduated and I started working Oklahoma City, and it was so new, and I was covering things for the first time and doing things and making mistakes and learning at such a high level. It was like drinking from
a fire hydrant. And luckily I had some amazing mentors around me to teach me and and groom me, and I worked hard at my craft. That was maybe my most enjoyable time because it was so hard and fun and just the reward, the risk reward was so high.
And it's good to build something.
Yeah, I mean, and again the Bachelor, We've talked about it a lot. At the beginning it was wonderful, but the beginning of it all was the best because you're creating it all and it was so new and everything's happening for the first time, and you know the travel and even press and learning how to do it all and handle it. That's exciting. What about you.
Least favorite job? Part time employee at Target In high school and college, people are really mean to part time employees at Darks. They are madam you and I didn't know specific information and prices about every single object at the store.
Would be nice to those Those folks work in the summer jobs at Target.
Well, I mean I was like, I'm a they I mean.
The next laurenz em Well, they just talk.
Down to you. They assume you're stupid, whether because you're young or I I don't know. And yeah, they were just really uh also so careless, Like would just drop clothes on the floor and leave them in the clothing section. I stupidly, as a teenager, thought, I like clothes, I'll
work in the clothing section. No, if you are getting a part time job as a high schooler at a place like a Target, be a cashier, the day goes by so much faster and you just get to stand in place and you were like running around and dealing with a lot of people and it just goes by slowly. So best best job I've ever had. I mean, I loved doing Roses and Rose. Yeah, because that was this combination of like doing news but making it funny and
giving it this comedic twist. And I don't think we've said this, but I will say I I guess we can reveal that part of our plan with the new reality dating show would be that I will do an after show for it. Oh yeah, much like Roses and Rose.
We definitely should say that.
Yeah, so that's the plan. Maybe we won't share the concept yet, but the idea would be Chris will host the show and I will do an after show. And I will absolutely relish doing that again because I loved and working on the Yeah, yes, but I loved like that comedic spin. I love getting Truly, what makes me happy, however I can do it, is making people happy. I don't think I like that. I've realized that about myself. I just love making people laugh. But you know you
need the right venue to do it in. It's like even on the podcast. Someday, you know, we get like more in depth here, but it's not the venue of like that ridiculous side of me where I was drinking wine and comparing the show to Game of Thrones and like Taylor Swift albums and doing crossovers of everything I loved.
I forgot, I didn't say my worst. I was on the sand and finished crew of a floor company at French Brown Floors in Dallas, Texas summer job. When you sand and finish floors like our hardwood floor, you just hold this like seventy five pound machine as you're bent over all day in a one hundred and eight degree house because you can't have the air conditioning on because of all the dust, and it's just a miserable job. It's what kept me in college. I'm like, I will get my degree. I will not do this.
That was But what's great is that you still remember those skills and you yourself. I sand did and finished our outdoor table, as I.
Didn't sand and finish anything like.
That, and I didn't trust him. I have to admit He's like, I know what to do, and I'm like, babe, that's an expensive table. I'm sure you know. I don't know. Maybe we should call someone. No, you knew what to do. Any question of questioned you.
I'm going to ask this next question because it's kind of sporty because the first Saturday and May is coming up. They're going to the Kentucky Derby. We're not going this year. But Elsie tips, well.
We're not going, and I shouldn't say we didn't have a bad time and we got invited to.
Go, We got graduation, we had stuff, and we just can't do it.
We just couldn't fit it in, but we were invited and would have been happy to go again. So tips enjoy it. I wish I'd put a little more time, like I put time into the outfit, but put time into the outfit. That's don't make it an afterthought, make it a focus and the hat can I.
Ask a question on behalf of women that you need to answer. What's the shoe situation? What should I be wearing? Shoe wise?
That's what's so hard. You have to do a lot of walking, Yeah, a lot of walking. Yet you want to be wearing heels because your outfit's cute, whatever your comfort is. You know, that's tough.
Because by the way, they do sell flip flops, Like there's kids with flip flops right outside the door as you walk out, because they know everybody walks out.
Yes, it's like a wedding when they have flip flops after dancing, like you are gonna want to be. Yeah, there's so much walking because it's so small where the derby is and it's on all these tiny little streets that like cars can't get to you, like you have to walk to get out of it all. So yeah, enjoy yourself and try what's the signature drink.
I forget the mint Julip.
Is it the mintulap? Yes, but they have like a special way they do it.
I thought mint julip.
Can't remember, but give it a whirl.
That is the drink. And by the way, for your handicapping tips, look at some of these races, the Arkansas Derby, Louisiana Derby, the Florida Derby, Lot of Lot, and don't just look at the winner of those races. Look at who may have finished second, very close, may have had a bad trip. Look at those races for those three year olds coming up, have a blast. One hundred and fiftieth Kentucky Derby's coming up. It is a milestone. It
is a trip to Louisville. You won't forget. For all of our friends we made last year in Louisville, we miss you, guys. Will we will be back, but we just got some big family and life events coming up that we just can't miss it for. But we'll be watching on NBC. We appreciate it. Should I ask this question from Mary, what are some IX like and I mean like ikey like ooh ick, babe.
I don't think that you know what this is referencing. So let me help you people today save the ick like wh it gives me the ick? You know, no one's saying ikey, but like you.
I just meant like I was trying to explain because I didn't know if if you hear that, am I enunciating it?
Oh?
Like?
So yes? So Mary's asking, what are some ix you used to get from someone if they would say or do something on the first few dates? So basically what gave us the ick? Go ahead?
I just remember the one I got the ick from was a bad conversationalist, someone who didn't ask me one question the entire night, didn't ask one question. I just which is odd because I did this to you, or maybe you did this to me. I'm not sure which, but I'm glad we made it through that ick stage. But uh, someone who doesn't ever ask about you and they just talk incessantly about themselves, that's an ick.
That's funny. I was gonna say the same thing. That's my ick in romantic relationships and friendships and work relationships. That's my human ick. If a person never can go like, I want to know about you, And Chris is saying, if you haven't heard us tell this story. On our first date, I and I always say give people a second date. I think the first date's an interview. It's hard, people are nervous.
So airs wasn't perfect.
No, it was great. But I'll usually give people a second date if they I mean not anymore. But you know, if there were one or two things off, I'd still give a second date because first dates are weird.
Yeah, it's funny, we both have the same ick.
Yeah, But on our first date, I felt like Chris did talk about himself quite a lot. But we talked about it later and he said, I felt like you wanted to interview mode and asked me a million questions. So that might have been my fault. And by the way, I have an awareness. I tend to do that. I like love people's stories, and so I asked them all questions. But I'm not looking for a lot back. I'm not
looking for the same level back. But if you don't give me even a how are you, where are you from, or what do you do for work, I'm very turned off. I don't want to interact with that person anymore because to me, any relationship is a two way straight any physical x oh I have a physical I really hate someone has they I guess they must feel they have food in their mouth or something, and they reach back into their mouth and dig food out of their teeth.
And again, I mean that anytime anywhere, Like, I don't ever want to see that. It's so gross. Yeah, it's disgusting, and I've seen people do it in very public situations and maybe I'm weird. Is it socially.
Acceptable to this? Is if someone goes, hey, you got some like youth, you pull out your phone and you're like, yeah, please tell.
Me, or tell me if I have lipstick on my teeth. I don't know. Am I wrong? Is this acceptable to do?
I can't even stand to hear people.
Is there any physical it you had? What about like the way people dressed? I will say if a guy showed up in like more brands than me, like looking really flashy or something, it would give me a bit of an egg.
I would rather that. I don't like. And I'm gonna get on the guys about this. I don't like guys that don't dress to the occasion. Don't go to the steakhouse with your hat on backwards and your golf pullover and your jeans and like just guys that don't put the effort in and you just think the college sweatshirt or the golf pullover fits for every occasion. It doesn't, especially when you see your wife or your significant other
make an effort. Try to match that effort. And if you screwed up, which by the way, I've done that before, We're going to an event and you'll come out and it may not even be a big deal, but you'll come out just looking super cute. And I realize, oh, I have not I'm not at this level, and I go back and I'll grab a jacket, I'll put on a different shirt. You should match the level of your's.
True someone showed up like in a hoodie for a date. It's like, okay, well, where's the effort. You're not even trying.
Even if I don't think the moment warrants that I'm going to match you better to be overdressed in y I always agree with that. This is an interesting question. I really want your opinion on ALI. Is it a red flag if my boyfriend doesn't like or let me post bikini photos on social media?
I think it's one hundred percent of red flag. Why you yes, okay, go oh you and I feel you know, Oh my god, I just remember this from when we were dating. Yes, this is funny. Yes, I think it's a red flag because it feels like an ownership factor, like you can't tell me what to do with my body and I'm going to post a bikini photo if I want, and it feels controlling.
I think, Ali, It depends on if you're asking, is it a red flag? If my boyfriend doesn't like it, is it a red flag? If my boyfriend doesn't let me it is It's not even a red flag. It's a deal breaker if he won't let you. If he's that controlling and has, as Lauren said, ownership over you, that's not a thing. So you need to nip that in the butt. You need to have a serious conversation because nobody should control you to that level. You need
to do what you want to a certain degree. Now, if he doesn't like it, that's not a red flag. That just that could very well mean he just loves you and really wants you for himself and he has this intimacy connection with you and he doesn't want to share that part of you to the world. Again, there's varying degrees of bikini picks too. How sexy are you being?
How you know there's there's different levels. But if he doesn't like it and he says that to you, no, I think that's admitting your feelings and it's being honest, and that's a very good conversation to have and that's something that's very normal. Again, if he crosses that line and says I forbid you, then get in your car.
Well, have that conversation and see what is issue with it is why? Okay, So when we were first dating, I hope I'm telling the story right. I think I sent you a bikini pick.
Yes, you did, and you loved it, a red bikini pick.
I texted it to you, and then you were like you told me later that you kind of wondered if I was going to post it on social and that you were glad I never did that. I had just sent it to you because so what was the thinking there?
Well, my thinking was several fold here. Strategicy is what I was thinking. Okay, she sends me this pick, which, in guys, it wasn't.
A nude I just said it was a bikini I know, but it was a bikini pick, But why did you need to declare?
Well, but it was it was sexy, Okay, So you sent me and I thought it was sexy, and so I thought and I said so, and I was like, I really loved it. And it made me think, oh, she's thinking of me, she likes me. This is going well like me, this is going well. I'm feeling these things too, and now it's being reciprocated. We're being flirty and fun. If she had taken that same picture that I thought was special, I thought was meant for me and was taken with me and mine, now it's not.
So it would have taken ful to you. It would have felt like a way I thought, We don't know. I see what you're saying.
You're saying hurtful, less meaningful. Now I realize it wasn't meant for me. You don't care. It was a first trap and I want everybody to comment on it. Got it and instead of I just wanted to see what you would say about it. By sending it to you, I wanted to turn you on and make you think of me, which it did. But then if I see, oh, by the way, I think I look so hot, I'm gonna send it to the world. Yeah, it just takes takes.
I see that because basically what you're talking about is like and honestly, I think there I'm getting. Specifically, there might be a difference in like posing it also like posting a photo where like you're on the beach with your girlfriends on your girls trip and everybody's in a swimsuit versus like a super sexish posed bikini photo. Yeah,
so maybe there's a difference there. Yeah, And I see what you're saying, because ultimately it is about like there is an element of the person you're dating or your partner feeling like, well, are some parts of you and some sides of you like special just for us? And I do think that's important in relationships.
And Ali, I understand kind of where you're leading this to, which is insecurity and jealousy. Those are difficult subjects because some of that I think is healthy and okay, and you should want a certain level of discretion and confidence between the two of you, things that you guys just share. But then those things can go across that line, and again there's always that gray area of jealousy can also be a toxic thing and controlling and those things can
be bad. You have to moderate them and have those discussions to find out what you're comfortable with and what he's comfortable with.
God, I'm realizing we probably could do a whole podcast episode about posting bikini picks. We could, all right, next question though, Lucy says, well, yes, we haven't talked about this yet. Lucy says, the first Golden Bachelor couple got a divorce. What do you guys think Does the Golden Bachelor have the potential to be a success?
Sure, it does, Yeah, I mean I don't know these pe Well, here's the question.
You know what, the question is success in what way? Success is a show success? In relationships?
It's true because as the Bachelor, you know, the show was never predicated on the fact that it was successful all the time with the marriage, with the marriages, right, ratings matter and you know, advertisers buying space on your show matters, so that is a success, but also people getting married on your show. I mean, overall, the show in that regard was not a success and so far the Golden Bachelor's Oh, for one, they made it a month and so but can it work? Sure? And if
you're talking about a couple coming successful out of it. Sure, it can. You have you know, it's lightning in a bottle. You have to get really lucky. A lot of things have to happen when you're talking about one couple, and so you know, I'll defend the show in this way because you know, Bachelor in Paradise, for example, it was a lot easier to form couples because we have thirteen guys thirteen girls. Well, we have thirteen opportunities to make
it work, and the pressure is not on you. I don't know the gentleman's name, whoever the Golden Bachelor was, but that's one guy. He you have one shot, well, right, but they all get it work and that's it.
But they also spend a lot of time picking that one person. I mean, there should be a lot of time in thought into casting that one person. I will say this, I thought about it. I heard the news. Obviously you didn't miss the news, but I we didn't watch the show at all. So I'm I'm weighing in on this without having seen even a clip from this show.
I don't know if the show was like portrayed, very wholesome or if it was very drama E. I didn't know how they were going to approach it, since it's these like older people who and who have been through a lot, if it was wholesomey like I will say, I mean, this marriage did not last long. It was like a Kim Kardashian a couple months situation.
A carton of milk that's lasted longer.
But that did not look good.
And I think our perception of this show, and I think everybody's perception was it would be this wholesome. Of course it's going to work. Everybody's here for the quote unquote right reasons in this golden phase of right.
And there are people who've been many people widows and I mean widowers, no widows because there was more women. But so you would think that these older people would have like some perspective on life and really be looking for for the person. So the fact that it only lasted a couple months, I thought, Okay, that doesn't look good for like what the what I thought the vibe
of the show was. Now that being said, I don't know, maybe the fact that it only lasted a couple months means older people can be just as dramatic as younger people, and maybe it's going to be a really good dramatic show. So I don't know.
I was gonna say maybe the lesson in the takeaway here is with age doesn't come wisdoms necessarily necessarily all the time.
Rebecca, Oh, this is an interesting question. I've never asked you this, Chris, who did you like on the Bachelor franchise, even though America might have hated that person.
I'll give you a guy and a girl. The guy Brad Womack. Brad, Yeah, because he didn't choose anybody, and he did it twice and left h solo of both times. Yeah, so he just got a bad rap and and and and he was. He's such a sweet guy, maybe one of the nicest guys that's ever come through the show. You know, We've talked to nauseum about what a good guy is and how we are close friends. He's somebody that I tried to defend and I will defend another one who got a bat herap. She's definitely come around
as America's sweetheart and favorite now. But Michelle Money at the time, she wasn't the bacherette, but she was on. Ironically, I think she was on Brad Womack's show. She was kind of seen as this kind of snarky. She came off her sense of humor came off wrong, and she was really really vilified early on, and I had to defend her at the Women tell All because she was getting crushed. And I always thought she was a really
lovely woman. We've been very good friends. And now her and Mike Weir are life partners, the golfer the pro golfer, which yeah they are. They got married. And she's just a real gem of a human being and a giver and a lover, and she always was but her. I always appreciated her smart ass sense of humor. It didn't go over well on America.
That's like why they say that comedies are hard to translate into different countries because comedy is so interpretive, like versus action movies. So I could see that how a sense of humor could especially because things are cut and edited and shortened. Did she get along well with the other women she was on the show?
Some? I mean some that usually yeah, paint you know how it is at the tell all, you they kind of turn on her. Then later they're like, oh, she's great. Well, but they were crushing her at the tell All though.
Again I didn't watch that season. It's funny because I only knew Michelle, like since you and I started dating, as being so lovely, so sweet, and I knew you were friends and I one thing I appreciate about you is that you show up for people like both your and you really stick by people even if they are being crushed by others. Like you told me later, didn't you go and do some charity stuff like from Michelle's dad? What was that?
Way too young? And so we all went to Salt Lake City and appeared for her and supported her for that charity. It was phenomenal. And yeah, so she's a real gem and but she's somebody her and her and Brad Walmeck. I was trying to think of others that have been vilified over the years that I've kept in touch with, and I was wondering if you could think.
Of any uh, well, some I think they were vilified at the time, but now they've just grown up and so it's nice to see them get a second chapter. But so I don't think it fun.
I mean, even Mesnik was crushed, but you know everybody once I think he realized, well, I'd put.
Both Mesnick and Ari in those categories are lined. I crushed. At the time, you probably knew behind the scenes they were good dudes, but they'd made mistakes in one of them.
Jason married Molly and we had that very public televised wedding and everybody was like, Okay, this is this is working and this you know what he initially did with Melissa kind of it was the same with Ari. You know what he did with Beca. It didn't go over well. And then you see he and Lauren have forty kids and they're living their life and they're doing well and.
Ari, I think you know. And by the way, I was one of the people who was like critiquing Ari at the time on my show Roses and Rose. I was because but I look back now and I think he was like thrown into the show late. He didn't know he was going to be with the Bachelor for very long. He wasn't like prepared to go be on reality TV again, and I think you could see that in the show. And yeah, now him and Lauren are one of the success stories, and you officiated their wedding.
But I appreciate that you stood by him too and defended him all.
The way to the altar. Yeah, married them in Hawaii. That was a beautiful wedding. And he was one of the most tumultuous, kind of controversial choices of Bachelor because.
Everyone went who.
Well, we were going back and forth on who it was going to be, and.
At some point point, I'd love for you to share. I don't know if you can. I'm not telling you to do it now. No, it's just there. I know there are people over the years, like in those moments when it was like who, because there were these front runners and guys or women people loved for the leads,
and then they didn't become the lead. And I know that the franchise never I mean as a journalist covering it, they would never like say, and I don't know if it was for privacy reasons for these people or what, but they would never really answer why like this beloved guy who seemed to be a fan favorite and seemed to have it all wasn't chosen for the Bachelor. Yeah, can you give an a general response to why the fans didn't get those answers?
There were a lot of reasons because there's so many
chefs in the kitchen. First of all, you're dealing with a couple of people at the top of the show, you know, the creator of the show, the head of the network, and then it would go all the way to the president of the network, and so this person deciding the lead, Yeah, deciding the lead, and so so many people would have an initial say and then another say, and so again there were just so many chefs in the kitchen that eventually sometimes the soup turns out great.
Sometimes there's too much crap thrown in it and it gets ruined.
I see what you're saying, and that you know, maybe one person who's like maybe closer to the show and working on it more regularly, is like the fans love this person and they're great, but then what by the time it gets up to someone at the top, Yeah, they're.
Like, but he doesn't have you know, but he doesn't have.
A doctorate, and we want someone smart this season, and they're making those kinds of way in Yeah, And.
There's and there's some TV reasons of sometimes maybe a person we've shown you and how they were edited on the show is not maybe how we think they would be as the bachelor of Bacherette, and someone is a better talker or better.
Better contestant than they would be a lead.
Yeah, And so there's a difference between being a good contestant, being a good lead, and carrying the show. And there's there's so many factors that go into it. You know. I always said when people got mad, I'm like, I'm glad you get mad, because that means you care about the show and you're vested in it, and that's wonderful that you have an opinion. But just know that there's so much that goes into it and it's not and I hate to use this phrase because it's it drives
me crazy sometimes, but it's nothing personal. A lot of times it wasn't It wasn't personal. It's you know, there was a business decision or who they thought, you know, was getting maybe two out of hand and they could control better, who they could produce better.
Were there ever things when people were cleared to be contestants, But then I don't know if there's an extra layer of like digging deep on them before they became lead, and then like what things came to light and stuff like that.
For sure, there was one very definite case where everybody really thought and wanted one person and then I was told later for legal reasons, this person cannot be the Bachelor. I'm like, okay, gotcha, And so we had to move off, and you can't say that. You can't say why that person was excluded, and you can't explain it for legal reasons. You can't explain it either for defamation and all these
other issues. And so there's those things where you just have to swallow it, and legally you got to move on and pick another bachelor Bacherette, and so, but there's also those things where I thought, this is the worst choice in the world, and this is going to be a boring season, and then Sean Loh turns out to be the best Bachelor ever, and so you just you just never know. You never know what's going to resonate.
Which leads me to maybe our last question. That's really good and I find this interesting because I want to know what you think. Bo asked a very poignant question. Do you worry that your new show won't live up to expectations?
Gosh, what do you think the expectations are?
Drama?
If you've do you have an answer? It sounds like you've been thinking about it for a second.
I've thought about this and though it's a great question. I think it's a wonderful question, and I think this says a lot about the way I think about things. No, I don't worry about it living up to expectations. I've never I don't do things worrying if they're going to fail. I live life actually kind of daring to fail. And I think that's an important distinction to make, and it's a great way to live doing things like what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? That's how
I live. And so this show could fail, it could be bad, it could also be the greatest show ever it's or somewhere in between. You can't do things only if you know they're going to succeed, or thinking I'm only going to do it if it wins, because then you're just going to guard yourself against failure all the time. And that's not how great things are made. That's not how great art is made.
You just hit the nail on the head. I think that's such a topic in Hollywood period right now, not just for us. I've seen so many headlines lately, people like Emily Blunt weighing in and saying that like Hollywood is in such a dangerous spot right now, because literally whether shows are greenlit or not is being decided by algorithms. Yeah, like streamers saying, well, we plugged it into our algorithm
and we don't think that will be a hit. So no, And if Hollywood had operated like that for the past hundred years that it's been around, Citizen Kane, a three hour, you know, black and white movie about a sled, wouldn't have been made, The Godfather.
Wouldn't have been made, Shawshank Redemption.
I mean, all these movies that are classics and TV shows wouldn't have been made. And art is about touching people, and I don't think an algorithm can read into how to do that. And I think you're so right that you have to make something that you feel as good and then hope that it resonates with people. You can't make something trying. It's like trying to make a clip go viral, Like that's going to be a lot harder than just you captured a really emotional, incredible clip and it touched people.
And bo I have made things that I thought were unbelievable in my mind, and I left thinking they were great and they didn't go well, and then I've made things that I thought were just okay, and they turned out to be the biggest shows in television history. So it's just, you know, that's the other thing. There's no way to predict, and so you have to do what you think is right. You make those choices as a producer, as a host, and that goes into music, it goes
into everything. You have to dare to be great and take those shots. And then that's the kind of the scary thing about our business is then you just you wake up the next morning and you hope people watched. And I also know that you know people are going to take shots at it. People come after you when you know heavy as head that where's the crown? Well, that's what happens too. People are going to take shots. And that's fine. That emotion and that fervor from people
is a good thing. I want you to feel something about it. All good art makes you feel something. It might make you feel angry, excited, mad, sad, whatever it is. Empathy is what kills. I want that feeling so bo. That is a great deeper question and I very much appreciate it. Good note to end on, everybody, go out there.
And make something you love, make something you feel good about.
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
I know you have that on them. I do a right over there quote on our desk from next to the picture of your grandfather exactly. She's very swirting.
Thank you guys so much, Thank you, We love you, love the questions. Really appreciate it, and we will do it again next time because we have a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever, and make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.