This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas, and today's episode is a continuation of my conversation with Colton Underwood, the former Bachelor who famously jumped the fence in Portugal and took off into the night with me trying to keep up with him. But we talked to Colton about he and his husband Jordan, having a baby, the joyous news that we got, and we are so
happy for him. They are going to be incredible parents, and I'm so excited. And there was one other layer to this I wanted to get to because as much as Colton and I have talked, one thing we haven't done publicly is talk about his time on The Bachelor. Does he have any regrets? Did he know he was gay coming into this? Was there any time when he
wanted to just scream from the rooftop stop filming. As much as we have discussed, we've never really publicly gotten into this in his time on the show, and I had a lot of questions for him. So I want to continue my conversation with Colton Underwood, you know, getting you on the podcast today. I was also excited because you and I we've never really talked about being on the Bachelor, going through everything. You and I really have never publicly gotten together before, no, I.
Know, and privately though there were many late night phone calls and WTF texts and screenshots and all sorts of
things and being like, what is going on? And I will say this like, and I think I've said it before too, and like what you went through and what I had to go through, just having somebody who was there for me and supporting in an ear and a shoulder, with the ability to like say, hey, you're going to have to own like you have to take responsibility or you have to own this, and just a good friend. I can't say thank you enough for that.
Yeah, well you're very welcome. And uh, you know I always say if you love somebody and they're your friend, they're your friend. Good bad ugly, you know, good press, bad press. We got to get through it, and you get through it together. And there were some dark times and and I appreciated how you did own up to everything and we got through it. And same thing with me.
You guys, you you and then now Jordan were there when Lauren and I went through the melee we went through and you get through this stuff together and you learn and you try to have grace and love and and here we are and it's you know, it's it's the things that those stories and everything is what made us who we are and it's gotten us to this point today.
For sure. Yeah, I think, look like anything in life, things are complicated and layered and complex and there's not a straight single answer that a lot of people are looking for. And I know very much like that was that was for sure my journey and just knowing the little glimpse of three shows in one year that I got to do and be a part of, Like that's a it's a beast of a franchise and it's a it's a huge undertaking. It's a huge toll on on
your body physically and mentally. So it's just my heart always goes out to anybody who goes through that, you know, It's just it's a it's a hard commitment. It's not as easy as people think.
Do you you know, this might be a weird question because yeah, you might redo it, but do you regret doing it or do you respect the fact that it took that to get you to where you are today.
You know, I've been asked that before, and I really truly at this point, you know, I can always admit that I have regrets. I think I'm appre I appreciate that I did have to go through that, and I I think I strategically put myself through that to try
to be straight so badly because I wanted that so badly. Yeah, and look, I I do think there is a good chance, like if I didn't go through that, like I wouldn't be here on this earth like I And that sounds really sad and messed up to say, but like if I didn't have that experience, like I wouldn't I just wantn't have survived. And you know, mixing the global pandemic and quarantining and then coming out during the pandemic just
on top of it, it's complicated. So I guess, like the short answer is like, no, I wish I wouldn't have, Like for a lot of people's sakes, I would have saved a lot of people time. But also like if anybody can learn and look at my point of view, in my opinion, it saved my life and it allowed me to live the life that I would like always wanted but never thought I could live. So I think like there is some beauty in that.
I was curious if you ever came close during filming to just saying, hey, I tried, I'm trying to be this person. I'm realiz using I'm not or did you not have that realization yet?
No? I mean, look, deep down, I knew I like I knew I was gay while we were filming, but there was also a part of me, maybe not as deep down, that felt like I could possibly change, like there was hope. It was confusing because I was still feeling like I had an attractive level to women, but
there was never space and an opportunity. And this is not on you, as like the host of the show, but I never felt comfortable approaching you and or production saying I'm struggling with my sexuality here, like let's have this conversation, and I don't look, look, I don't even know if you would have been able to like handle that of basticularly being like, holy crap.
I would like to think that the show could have, but deep down I know it wouldn't have. And I hate to say that, and it's not a dig at the show. It's just not what that does it they're there for, and I think it would have been bastardized and exploited. And I mean, hell, they tried anyway, you know, even without your your blessing. I mean that was the whole Billy Eichner comment. He didn't come up with that comment.
He was told to say that. You know, you and I have had these discussions, you know how they tried to you know, they had their suspicions and tried to out you and throughout the show, and so you know, I would love to have said, hey, I wish you would stop me on the beach when we were jogging one day in Vietnam and said hey, man, can we have this conversation you and I could have, But I don't think it would have been handled better on the show.
I agree, And I think there is there is a part that I was so in it too that I really didn't fully understand who I couldn't and could trust. I think that's also as you know too, Like I think there was this one the one moment where after like I jumped the fence and the next day I came back and we sat down and I looked at you and like the first two questions were great, and
I felt like we were in this conversation. All of a sudden, I like get a pick up and I see you know, you're wearing your in ear and I was like, Chris, can you take the in here out? And like let's just have a conversation here and you're like yeah, and you took it out and hit it and you're like and that I always appreciate it, and that from them that moment, I knew I could trust you, because like, Okay, here's somebody who values me and my life and my story and what I'm going through over
making a good TV show. So like I I now, I know that I could trust you. But back then, when we were on that beach running around, I was like there was there would have been no space space for me to know who I couldn't and COO trusts.
And that's very fair. I definitely would have told you to feel the same way. I mean, it's you know it because you're doing a show, and you know I always the show can catch a lot of grief for a lot of things, but at the end of the day, they are doing something that is it's a business to make money, and you are part of that business making money. And it's odd because yes, it's our lives and it's
artistic and there's all these other layers to it. At the end of the day, it's a job and you're hired essentially to do a job, even if that job is to fall in love. So it's a very interesting dynamic. And I always try to tell people, you got to understand the Colton's and the Hannahs and all these people of the world. Yeah, they signed up for this, but don't give me the oh, they should know what they're getting themselves into, because it's just you don't know until
you're in the middle of it. And it's different for everybody totally.
I mean, that's that's the thing. And I think for people to understand too, Like most of these leads right now when they get tapped to lead that show are in their twenties. I mean yeah, Like you know, I especially was emotionally stunted because of sports, and I'm like, look, I know you have a son who is in the cross and committed to that sport very like, but I know he also has a girlfriend. But like for me, I just didn't. I avoided relationships and I avoided like
trying to figure out like my emotional growth. So by the time I was a bachelor, yes, I was like what twenty five twenty six when I did that show. Emotionally though, I was still a teenager, I was still immature, didn't really know what I was looking for. Probably shouldn't have been in that position. But also is like, this is an opportunity of a lifetime that for many different reasons that I'm looking for.
But but yeah, I mean there's there's always layers to a person being the Bachelor bacherette. And I mean you and I have had long discussions about this, and I thought long and hard about it. I mean, because it's like being a child star. You were a sports star. You went to the NFL the point one percent make it to the NFL, but it also you kind of stopped growing because you are so worried about growing to be an athlete, and you got this this thing and so this other party you kind of stops and the
rest kept going. And so you're a grown man, you're playing in the NFL, and then all of a sudden you're the Bachelor. It's like, but this other part of you never had a chance to catch up, and that's what kind of slingshot, and that's I think it took the Bachelor. And again, I'm with you. I think at
the end of the day, I would say, don't regret that. Yeah, sure you can apologize and you wish it had gone better for certain people, but at the end of the day, it caused you to catch up and the scales got to even out a little bit for you.
I would definitely agree with that. I think that's a great way to put it. I never thought of it like like that, but yeah, it was very much. I prioritized a different career than I did, like my own personal growth, and all of a sudden, I'm in this intense year of filming Bachelorette, Bachelor and Paradise Bachelor and
doing all of this self work. And that's also like, that's also why I somewhat am at peace with even the women who were on my season, and I feel like they also went through a lot of self work too, and they got out what they wanted out of that show too, you know. And you know, I do hear that or see comments every once in a while, being like you wasted so many women's time. I'm like, they had a good time and went to travel the world with me. Yeah, it's complicated.
And by the way, it's it only was going to end up good for you mean, ninety nine percent of the people that come on the show don't end up with somebody. That's that's that's you know, I'm not a big believer in all that. I mean, if you had had that understanding and you came in to fool everybody and you actually showed up to deceive us, all, that's one thing. But having that realization later there's not much difference than that, and say, Bob Guiney finding out later
you know what, I'm not ready for a relationship. You know, did he waste everybody's time technically, but he didn't do it to deceive anybody. You weren't being malicious, you know, that wasn't in your heart at the time.
No, there was lots of christs or help. That's sort of what I'm realizing is like my sub blanch is basically being like, help help me come out, help me get through this, Tell me what's right, tell me what's wrong? What do we need to do?
Was there anything as you look back because a lot of people have come on the podcast and they've said, you know, I had a question for you. I've always wondered this, and you and I have had a lot of these conversations. But I'm just curious if there's still anything that sticks out to you that you wonder about with the show with me or anything that happened.
You know, most of them I've already asked you. I you know I was. I was so paranoid though, like just because and I've publicly said this before too, Like you know, I did have a like not a relationship, but like a physical relationship with a man before, like I went on too that show. So I was always so paranoid. But the majority, and this is the sad part, and also what I want people to realize, is like
that easily could have been me. Most of those men who I had had it some sort of physical connection with were married with families and like in a similar position that I was like in and my process behind and that was, if they're going to help me, they have to have just as much, if not more, to
lose than what I have. So my I was always sort of operating with so much anxiety while we were filming that show, and while that show was airing, and while I was doing press that there would be like that one person who like emails a producer and the like, I know he hooked up with my friend, you know here in this state. And so that was always something that I was a little nervous about. And some things
like necessary questions. It's more so too, like the way that my virginity was handled, like of course, like I would have loved to give a straight answer of why I was a virgin. I hid beyond my faith, I hid behind football, I hid behind I mean you know this because you had to ask me ten million times on the show, and I would give you a different answer every time you asked me. And they're like everybody's like I remember, like there's people who even publicly were like,
why is he a virgin again? And I'm like, because I couldn't say I'm questioning my sexuality to Chris, so I had to say all of these other things. Now that I've been in this industry for a little bit, you that's a machine of a franchise and you have to do some savage things to get to that level. And now I have full a better understanding of what they do and how they operate and who they are.
And I've also had the privilege and opportunity to work with other production companies since that and know that that's not the norm. I think that was the cool thing about getting out love it, appreciate it for what it did and taught me, but also realize it's just not for me. Like that. The way that they roll is is not how I want to roll and not how I want to do business. And I feel like you can still entertain people and put on a good show and take care of those people too.
Yeah, and you can, and that's that's happening, and that's what's happening more and more, and so it's you know, I had to take people aside when they came on the show and tell them when they were new, look, I know you've been in the business for a while. We do television unlike anybody's ever done television, and some of it's just a victim of our success. Like a lot of these people grew up. They were eighteen, nineteen,
twenty years old. They started working on the show because it was a nothing show, and then they stayed on the show for twenty years. And so they never really learned anywhere else to bring kind of the technical TV skills in. So they just created this system. And so we did things a lot of times in a very
backwards way, but it's the way we did it. And so, you know, and I went off and did Millionaire, you know, spelling Bee, and I did a million other shows, and so, I mean, I had a lot of experience, and so I always just I knew when it came back to the Bachelor, this is how we do television. It's just it's very backwards in the way producers ran the show and as opposed to a director, et cetera. It was
very interesting. And you're right, it doesn't have to be that way, and it's not on a lot of places. But I always said, they're just a victim of their own success, and that's it's not a terrible and that's not a terrible thing. They've been, you know, going for twenty years now, So it is what it is. Things I do know, do you keep up with the franchise at all? Do you still watch? Do you know what's happening?
I don't I know what's happening because I'm on social media and I see things like I saw obviously, you know the success of Golden Bachelor. I also saw they broke up immediately after, you know, like I definitely see it. I don't tune in, I don't watch. I have, you know, a texting relationship with a few of the producers over there. And I'm at peace now with it, Like I don't, I have zero ill will towards them. I'm actually appreciative of like what I've gone through and what they've been through.
I think hopefully they've learned a few things. I know a few people have been in and out of out of working for them now, so I keep up a little bit, but I want to go back because one thing that always stood out to me that you told me on the day that we shot our promo photos for the season. You said, Hey, I'm Chris. I just want to like introduce myself in like you leaned in your like pick your battles wisely. It's like choose, choose
your battles wisely. And I was like, okay, So that was sort of my mind to do this whole thing. Is like anytime I wanted to get upset or being like fight and resist it, I had to remind myself, Okay, is this worth it? And there were very few moments where I was like, okay, this is worth it. And then I think you saw the you know, the mountain explode and Portugal, when I finally jumped the fence, I was like, okay, I cannot do this. But yeah, you always you always, Yeah, you always gave good advice.
Yeah I know I did mean that because I saw bachelors and bacherettes that would fight for everything. And you know, it's one of those old sayings. If you stand for everything, you stand for nothing, and you know you can't win and fight every battle every day because they're shooting a show. And I told you this, and I told I told every bachelor and bacherette. I said, look, you have to give a little. There's things we have to do to
shoot a television show. But if it's something that means enough to you, then hold your ground and dig in. And that's the hill you got to be willing to die on. And Portugal was the hill you were willing to die on. I was willing to die on it for sure, Yes you did. Instead you just cleared it and off off into the wilderness. Well, hey, I know you're in New York and as Jordan with you, you guys head in to a show.
Yeah, we're going to a Broadway show tonight and then doing dinner, and we're really just like taking this moment for ourselves, like we uh, we came out. We were both in DC for some work. I'm still doing some lobbying for mental health bill that I that I'm working on.
And Jordan obviously is gearing up. He does a lot of social impact around politics and there's a lot going on in our country and now unfortunately, so we're working to just continue to continue to try to serve as bridges to many different people's cultures, communities, and but right now we're sort of just wrapping each other with love and joining where we're at.
Well, you know, it's easy for it would have been easy for you guys after you got married, to just disappear and never be heard from again. But to use what you have for good and to be a bridge for for hope, for good, for love and all that is. It's a good thing. It's a wonderful thing, and not everyone will see it like that. But that's not your job.
Your jobs not to try and convince everybody. But I appreciate what you guys do, and I always appreciate your time and more importantly, always appreciate your friendship.
Well, thank you. I appreciate you and Lauren both, and I know Jordan wanted me to tell you hello and her hello as well. So yeah, I can't wait for our next hang, whether we're in Austin or you're you're.
Out in la likewise, and I can't wait for that first family meal when we're there and you guys have a baby and y'all are just getting spit up on and foods everywhere, and Laura and I just get to sit there and have our glass of wine and just get to relish.
Sure this, buddy, Yeah.
Yeah, it's the best of things. It's the worst of things. Get some sleep because October will come quickly. Love you guys all the best, and I will talk to you soon, all.
Right, Thank you, appreciate you, Thanks for listening.
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