This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. Chris Harrison and Lauren z Ema coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas. We just had a wonderful weekend away where we went back to LZ's alma mater, Missoo, where she went to college or undergrad she got her master's degree. And it sparked a very interesting conversation because it's been a while since she has been back, and while she didn't grow up at Missoo, she grew up
in Chicago. The subject came up while we were there, can you go home again? Can you go back home? And there's always that thing, you know, the line you can't go home. There's the bon Jovi song about it, and you and I kind of got in a discussion. I said, stop, we hit the pause button, let's wait for the podcast. And it was a very interesting I've thought a lot about this.
I first of all, I don't know that bon Jovi song. I think, can you sing it for me?
Yeah?
No, that you can't go home?
That's all that, yeah, you know.
And as you were just saying that, I was thinking the wording you chose was interesting, Like I grew up in Chicago, not Missouri, but in my brain I went.
But I did grow up at MISSOI.
You know, if you really want to talk about growing into an adult, and I mean, I still had some growing up to do after college, but those college years are so formative. I think that's why. You see, there's a lot of discussion now about how overly expensive college is. And I was reading an article the other day that a lot of people are actually at the point where, if they can financially afford it, they're kind of sending their kids to college. Yes, for the education, but like
very much in large part for that growth experience. For the college experience, which is so is so a thing in America. I remember when we were near it, people were like, yeah, Americans are really obsessed with like where they went to college, and it's part of their identity.
It is, and it is such not a thing anywhere else in the world.
No, like maybe in England what university, or maybe in England it's more what boarding school.
But school affects us, right.
And so I think the reason it came up for us was that I got surprisingly emotional when we were at Missou and I realized it was because I had been there a couple times since graduating, and I still knew people like I also worked at a startup while I was there, so when that startup office was still there, I kind of like had friends there even after I'd left.
But then that office moved, and so this was the first time when I went back and I was like, I don't have friends here anymore, and I have a couple professors I still know, but it really made it feel like, Oh, I'm really past this now. And that's why we started asking can you go home? Can you go back? And I think there's a difference there for those two questions for me. But since you were thinking about do you have an answer for me, what do you think.
The answer is? And short answer is yes, you can go home. You can always go home. No, you cannot go back. And I do agree those are two very different things. What your experience experiencing is something I have experienced, and that is back at school. I went to Oklahoma City University, and I had such strong emotional ties, and the older you get and the more time passes, those ties either disappear or they are cut. Like you said,
your friends leave, people leave. My college coach passed away, So more and more of those ties that bound me to that place have disappeared. They don't exist anymore. But what still remains, and what I think I saw you get emotional about, is there are certain things that won't ever leave memories, feelings of growth and love and mistakes. And you know, I didn't realize obviously, I knew you worked at Newsy. I didn't realize the proximity to Miszoo.
I mean, I know Colombia is not a big metropolis. I knew it wasn't massive, but I didn't realize I'm talking one hundred yards down the road. Yeah, everything was right cornerstone of Miszoo. I'm like, oh, crap o.
Right, And I've probably never explained this to you. New Zy did this really brilliant thing. I highly recommend it if you're starting a business. It was super smart. They created a partnership with the university and it was literally a class to work at Newsy. So that's how I started there, at this news organization called Newsy, and they
had a partnership with the journalism school. So I worked there as a student while I was getting my master's degree, and then for a few years in my early twenties, Like while it was a startup, I'm just saying, great way to get free labor and also great way.
To spot new talent. Like they would kind of have the students come through.
I found a young Lorden's.
Email and then they'd be like, oh, this one is really good.
So you heard what I just said about going back home? Yeah, you got emotional four or five times, Like tears came to your eyes this weekend. Do you agree with what I was saying of you? You can't go home. You can go home, but you can't go back. Do you feel like some of those bonds are gone now, some of the ties are gone, but the memory still remain. Is that what made you emotional?
I find myself torn a lot between cherishing memories and thinking that a critical characteristic of success and happiness in life is not getting stuck in the past.
You know what I mean?
Like, I think one of the most dangerous things you can do is live in the past.
We have to keep moving forward.
Good or bad by the way in Greece or in success.
And it is because of what you just said, I think you nailed it. You can't go back like that. Time is over and if you try to recreate it, I don't think it'll ever even be as good.
I'm down to like the point of even like I don't know.
I just think when you have a great memory, you kind of have to leave it where it is and on a high note.
Like I've thought about, Okay, we'll have.
Our first wedding anniversary this year, like what I was thinking the other day, what will we do?
And I'm like, oh, we could go back to where we went after I don't know.
I don't know if I want to go back to the same hotel, Like, let's go somewhere new, let's make a new memory. I think that makes you a better person. But at the same time, I'm so thankful for those memories I had at Missoo, for those all those things that shaped me into my present, that gave me my future. So I think you can always go home, but I don't think you can stay home.
Yeah, going back, And I agree. And if you look back, and I've always thought about this, you know, if you think about your own life, the most successful cheerleader, quarterback, rock star, those that really were on a high and peaked in high school, how often are those the same people that will then peak in college and peak in life and business later in life. I would argue, I have no sed satistics to back this up, because I have not done the studies on this. I bet it's
very rare. I bet it's under fifty percent of those that because you often find those that really crushed it in high school or college to always kind of go back and talk about that when you run into them. You know, if I get back with some of my college buddies, we all end up kind of sharing the same stories over and over again about soccer or whatever. And I love rehashing some of the ridiculousness, but at some point I want to move on, like what are
you doing now? What's what's next for you? And you know, it's it's a quick visit to the past leads us to the future instead of we just live in the past and we talk about the past, and you know, we keep telling stories about it. And So what I found interesting being with you at MISSOI was what made you emotional? There were certain times, you know, and there were certain realizations too. We were in the Jay School, beautiful Journalism school at Missouri. I believe if I'm they
invented journalism at Missouri. I think that's what I was. That's what it was.
Number one journalism miszoom invented Homecoming and Chris always trites me on this id up. Okay, thank you, and the Missouri School of Journalism is the first ever journalism school and it is the best journalism.
School next to Oklahoma City University. There was a point we spoke at the Journalism School to an amazing group of students. But what I found interesting is we were walking out afterwards, and you you go, I really remember this building kind of grander and bigger, and you're like, wow, some of this is not so nice anymore. Well, it's just deface gets older, and you know.
You've gone on and you've seen new things and you've done new things, and so your own perspective has really changed.
Like at first I thought it was maybe my memory's bad, and then.
I realized, well, yes, that, but also I think just you know, like you go to a restaurant and food thought was great at nineteen, Yeah, I've had some more food since then, you know, and you realize it was probably great at the time, but you have different levels of great now, hopefully, like my hope is that we're all always growing and evolving in life. But I also started to think about this thing popped up on my Instagram the other day and this guy was saying it
was just a guy. He was saying, you here ten things I wish I could tell my younger self, like my twenty something self, And one of the things he said was that he would tell that younger self travel a lot in your twenties, but settle down somewhere in your thirties. And he was talking about the importance of like creating a community, creating a you.
Know, of friends, and that is so healthy and.
Important for us start growing some roots.
Yeah, and then I started to think, well, what if you never left, you know, like a worse sy you can't go home. And you're maybe talking about people who like peaked in high school. I think moving around, traveling really helps you grow as a person.
But then I also see people who.
Like live where they grew up and they have such a strong sense of community, and I think.
That's so beautiful.
I guess I would recommend if you're going to end up where you came from, make sure you go see the world a little bit first.
Yeah, that's interesting, an interesting take about getting out seeing the world.
Well, like you and I we talk about how on our very first date, Yeah, we talked about moving to Texas one day and then at that date, at that conversation, we were thinking about Dallas, and I was like, that's great because I have some best friends in Dallas and you were from Dallas.
We didn't end up doing that. We ended up in Austin.
How different do you think our lives would be if we'd been back in Dallas, because I feel like part of the reason you didn't want to go back was because that was where you came from.
Yeah, I think it would have been a little bit of a revisit, and I think it would have stunted the growth a little bit. My mom has a line she always uses, and she always says, and I really like it, you grow roots where you're planted, and.
Meaning wherever where you're planting.
Yeah, where you go, you'll grow roots. It's like you and you have to be patient, you know. I think some people will, you know, move from LA to Austin or Austin to wherever LA, and you know it's like, oh it's right away. If it's not perfect, or if it's not whatever. It's kind of like the college freshman syndrome of like I'm not fitting in after day one. It's like, well, you have you have to not only be planted, but you got to give yourself a little
time to grow some roots. Meet people, meet neighbors, meet friends, get up to the local supermarket and realize where you're shopping at. Get comfortable. And so I think that college was a place where we all went and we finally grew those roots, and we were at a very impressionable age, at that age where things are so magnified in our lives. So I feel like those roots are stronger. We remember
them differently than we do roots as we're adults. There's something about that, because those roots really are sensitive, strong well.
I think, And this was kind of a piece of advice we gave to the class and we spoke to them. I said to them, I wish someone had told me your twenties are big ups and downs times once you graduate from college. I think everybody talks about like, sure, in hindsight, we're all like our twenties are amazing, But if I really think about my twenties, I had some big highs and some big lows, because, like I think part of the reason you form so much in college
is you're in this insulated environment, this bubble. Everybody is your age. It literally gives you, statistically such a great opportunity to make a ton of friends. Yeah, No one told me that then when I went and got into my twenties, that like, oh, you go start your job and there's like maybe one other person your.
Age, and it's an extreme change.
Yeah, And I think you have some moments of like some depression or some sadness because all of a sudden, for the first time in your life, your environment isn't set up for you. You aren't around other people your age all the time, And so I just think people should be a bit more prepared for that, also prepared that, Like, your freshman year of college is not going to be the best one, and it shouldn't be. But your freshman
year is a time of transition. We told Taylor this, Like you're getting into a new place, you have to figure everything out again. You're kind of at the bottom of the barrel again. You're not the big dog on campus like you were senior year of high school. And that freshman year can be hard and then when you graduate, that's another change. In those early twenty something years can be hard, but yeah, it's very formative.
But at the end of the day, our conversation began as we were walking down one of the main streets there at Missoo in Columbia. You know, we went to a bunch of Lauren's old haunts, which are amazing. I'm going to give a massive shout out to Shakespeare's Pizza, Sparky's, Booch's Burger, this old billiards hall that was around since late eighteen eighty four. It is and it looks like
it in the best of ways though. It's just classic a place that it could be a scene or a place a movie should be shot there because you just you look like maybe the sting or color of money would be shot there. Just a good lad you loved. It's a great college town. It's a great college town.
And I've been to several college towns because you know, I had the the benefit of doing that when I was a sportscaster because I was covering OU and so I traveled around the Big twelve and went to a bunch of those, even to Columbia, Missouri back in the day I don't remember them as it was a long time ago, but going back now is really fun. And
you and I dabbled. We just you know, we put our toe in there and went to Harpo's and went to some of these places like Willy's and had a drink with the kids and just got a taste of it before we went home.
And they were so great. The biggest shout out, I mean the people. I'm so proud to be from the Midwest. I grew up in Chicago, but my mom's whole family is Missouri, from the Boothill of Missouri, and they moved to Chicago to find work, so it was like I grew up in Chicago, but my my grandparents, everybody was still very Missouri and so they loved when I went to school at Missoo, it was like me going back to my family's origin story. But the people are so great.
The kids were so welcoming and loving. All the Miszoo kids were so sweet and respectful and just amazing.
I'm so glad they all said hi. But yeah, I think you.
Know, well, since you mentioned homecoming where and it was invented int Miszoo, I think the conclusion I arrived at was like traditions like that are actually so important and beautiful because you realize, like as I was walking around and realizing, oh, I don't know anybody here anymore. The idea of homecoming, Like, I think if I was going to go back to Missoo again, I would go for homecoming and I would organize it with my friends because it's really about the people. Like you, you can always
go home because home is where the heart is. Home is where the people that you love. Our home is about the people in that house, not the house itself. And that's what I was missing, and that is I think the thing of like, you can't go back to that time where that people were if the people aren't there. That's what the difference is.
It is the fact that you left a piece of your heart there, that you put your heart into it. We went to the Theta House. Lauren was a Theda at Missou and so we went to the Theta House were walking around and I don't know if you felt like this, I felt that like this when I went back to the Kapasig house. I don't want to be there. I don't want to live there again. The thought of it actually disgust me. Makes me not just.
Right that fraternity house.
Right when I'm walking around that THETA house and I'm looking at these old composite pictures, you know, from the fifties and the sixties, and then there's Sheryl Crowe's class, and then there's Lauren Ziema's class, and I'm looking at all these girls who were sisters and most of many of them were friends and loved each other. They're long gone, they're not in that house anymore, but they are the reason that house stands, and the reason it's so strong
is because of those that came before you. And you don't have a bona fide connection to them. You don't talk to them, you probably don't even know them, you'll never get to know them. But the fact that Lauren z Emo was in those halls at one time makes it that much better, you know what I mean.
It's the importance of tradition, right, and of remembering our history. Like I think that's what can make you feel not lonely, that's what can make a house come alive. Like, yeah, when I lived there, we looked at the composite pictures and we were like, gosh, this is so cool like they were, you know, and and they keep different sort of trophies or like platters or artifacts really on the shelves in the house, and you have respect for that.
And it also makes you feel not alone. And I think it's why, like institutions and traditions are so important. And now that chapter is really over, I can't go back, but I can always go home, and I would want to just go home with my friends. Like I homecoming in the zoo is really big, and I've actually never been back for a homecoming, and so now I kind of feel like, oh, I'm I'm at that place now where I would I would just go back in this one way, and that would be the right way to do it.
Well, you're home now here in Austin, Texas, and we're growing roots.
We have definitely grown roots and been We've watered them with tequila and.
We have good wine. But I'll say this, I'm grateful to you. And it just it's always fun when you get to see another chapter of someone you love. And I love Lauren dearly, but and I've heard many stories and I've met many of her soorty sisters who are
a huge part of our life. I'm a proud DATA husband and THETA dad now, but seeing that side of you, you getting emotional, meeting one of your former professors and speaking at the Jay School and just walking around campus and going to the THEATA House and seeing how excited people were that you were back so much pride, and I just loved it, and so huge shout out to Columbia, Missouri and Missoo in general. We did the whole purposes. My son was playing lacrosse there, so TCU was playing
and TCU did win. But it was really fun because some people heard we were in town and came out in their Missoo gear just to say hi to us, which was great at the game, and some of the parents whose kids were playing, which ironically was their son was an attack man. Our son Joshua was guarding him. But we had this There was zero rivalry. It was just we were talking and you were talking, Missoo, and I just loved every moment of being there with you. And I got to go home with you for a second.
And I know I can't go back because I was never a part of it to begin with, but I felt like I got to go home and see a piece of you, and that meant a lot to me.
Yeah, I'm glad you said that, because I was going to say it really sunk into me this weekend.
I mean, you always.
Like you love hearing about you know, my childhood, and you are close with my family. But that was the first time, like I had been to OCU for you, like when we first started dating. Actually, so you had never really like seen you hadn't been a missy. You'd
seen these roots of mine for the first time. It is such a green flag in a relationship when someone you're dating or with cares about where you came from, when they care about your stories, where they want to hear about you, and that I was reminded of that this weekend. I loved how supportive you were and how you were like filming me as I was walking here
on the Theta house. It's a tell in a relationship for anybody who's starting to get serious with somebody, do they want to hear about your home?
So I will end this podcast the only way I know how m I Z z oh you because we have a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most Dramatic pod ever, and make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to see next time.