The Morning Dump 12-10-24

I found this article about a thirty four year old woman who says that she's never.

Had sex. She is a thirty four year old version.

Wow thirty four okay wow.

Not only that she's never had a boyfriend, worried for a girl she is not, She's not cute, she's not ugly at all.

She says that her abstinence gives her a benefit that other woman her age don't have. She's free from the emotional trauma or baggage from past relationships.

That is true, and.

She says that she can't It's a really funny quote that I thought you guys would get a kick out of.

She says that it allows her to.

Travel because she's not bogged down by the dick. Yeah kidding.

I guess all right, I can't go with you to Florida.

Why because I gotta get that cac.

I didn't set out in my life, in my life to be thirty four year old virgin. But dating has never been a priority for me. She says she doesn't experience attraction very often, and while she's open to the prospect of having a long term partner, she isn't interested in tying the knot or having children.

Okay.

Some people are wired that way where they don't need companionship or a relationship or the need for second But I guess at the same if you can ever had sex.

Than you wouldn't there would be no need for it.

You've never experienced it before, you don't know what it's like, so therefore it's nothing. It's a nothing burger, as you would put it. I mean, I have a couple serious quoes. You've never experienced intimacy?

Oh, what is fine? You have an had sex? Do you experience intimacy?

Right?

What is your definition of intimacy? You've never had a long kiss?

Right? You never?

Apparently she has had It's there are people that don't see other people and get butterflies in their stomach. Yeah, there are people that don't feel the need to have children. I get all that, but to never have like you don't want? Are you protecting yourself?

Yeah, Sames a little weird. Seems odd.

You would think at thirty four years old she would have had some kind of action. I don't know, maybe there was some kind of trauma earlier in life, but you think that would be mentioned in the article though.

Yeah, if she's aware of it and is honest about it, right. She says she's waiting for the perfect person, explaining that she needs a strong emotional and spiritual connection with a man in order to be physical, something she has yet to find. You will not find the perfect person, Oh no, No, I.

Don't think she's probably even put herself out there enough to find that person or given someone a chance.

Yeah, you got to go on a date, exactly sure. I believe having casual sex is more emotionally damaging than people would like to think. And there's nothing about that way of life that appeals to me. How would you know that you've never had sex of any kind, casual or formal.

I've never murdered anybody, But I feel pretty confident in my standing that it's gonna hurt, like it's gonna be hard for you to deal with.

Maybe, so I don't think.

I don't think you necessarily have to go through something to understand it.

Maybe I don't know about that.

I don't know, because maybe you know some people you know, and that's how you get serial killers, right, They joy that feel that rush or whatever.

Maybe being pegged to something you would enjoy, maybe, so well, least try it and find out I'd hit for you to miss out on something.

You know, I think you've got a couple of weeks coming up and take off you going to Man, I'm just gonna I'm gonna get that one with the suction cup, you know, and just stick it to the wall and just go get myself the business.

Yeah.

I'm just saying that that statement of you don't know until you try it can go across many platforms that I think we would all go absolutely.

But here's the thing. I'm not attracted to a dick in the ass.

You don't know that you've never had it?

You were, you were absolutely right, But the male genitalia does not.

I don't look at it and say I need that in my life. But you've never.

Who hasn't had a finger in especially you haven't gotten your prostate check to No, should probably do that, bro. No, it's that you're at that age you should know. If a doctor doesn't, it's okay.

But if you get you know, you know Frank from Downling Road to do it, it's totally different.

No offense, I'm gonna.

Trust my doctor and not you when it comes to medical recommendations.

I'm just saying I'm gonna get in there. I've never had a person's finger in my butt hole.

Yeah, but I don't. I don't look at the.

Male genitay and be like, yes, that looks attractive. You know, I'm I need that. No, No, but I think people who you know are they probably do.

I don't know.

It's not my bag. It's not my bag, man, I've said it before. You like French toast, Someone's gonna make French toast any morning. If you want someone who's spiritually connected and emotionally in all these boxes, you need check before you'll even adventure. Nobody says you gotta get married, right.

I don't know if I feel sorry for it, but I think you may be doing a disservice to yourself.

I would agree. I think there's some.

Being vulnerable is a huge attribute, but I don't take enough people embrace.

You.

Might you might find someone who's none of those things that enhances your life dramatically. Right, you've been so perf you all these perfect things. You might find someone who's not and might open you up to things you would have never knew where possible. Right, Because you've got to stay on your schedule. At three fifteen, you need to leave or whatever.

Thirty four.

Yeah, and not like intentional. I mean, she says, by her words, not intentional, not intentional. I feel like it is intentional.

Because she is a fairly attractive woman, and I'm sure she's been hit on many of times and been asked out on many of dates, you know, many times, and in any time that that question gets asked, Hey, would you like to go out for some coffee or maybe dinner in a movie? You know, she says no. So that is intentional. It's one hundred percent intentional.

But not intentional, the intent not being I want to be celibate, the intent being I need this perfect person, right right, You don't appeal to me because you have gray sox on it and I need white sox.

There's probably a lot of fun at parties.

Right Yeah.

I was gonna throw a cliche because I was looking at her Instagram and she does that that what's those when they tie the fabric to the ceiling and you swing around You know what I'm talking about?

No?

Oh, yes you do?

Oh yeah, ballet.

It's not ballet.

But that's not ballet.

No, it's.

Is this like where you get tied up with ropes? And suspended bar.

Nope, that's not bar. It's not bar.

It's like fabric hanging from the ceiling and you see people like swing on it and do all that.

Kind of like pole dancing.

Almost cats, aerial silks okay, also known as aerial fabric, aerial tissue, aerial ribbon.

Yeah, okay, yeah, good you.

She's so she's limber.

Well, maybe look at her cat.

There you go. I told you she has a fucking cat. I told you a hairless cat. At that.

Yeah, I mean if you have a allergy, she's holding her bald pussy. Yeah, I mean yeah, if that's your thing, go for it. Yeah, But why wrap it up on all these things rather than just like I haven't found the person yet.

Mm hm, exactly, because it would be a very short article at that point in time.

Does it hold true so easy to say I'm a prude?

Rough right?

Does it hold true that you like guys who have sex with that first person they're like, I got to marry this person.

Does that hold true with women too?

Fall in love with the first person you had sex with?

Yeah, okay, that's fair. Does that happen with women too?

Do women say that, like, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no no.

There's an underlying joke or cliche that men who never have sex and then finally have sex with someone, they're like, I got a marrier.

Do women fall into that trap too?

I think so, yeah, I wouldn't make it so yeah, it goes both ways.

It's the first dick you've ever had, You're like, this is amazing.

Yeah, you know, and you want to have that dick forever. And we'll come to find out that dick is attached to an asshole. That makes sense, Yeah, hell are everything is asshole personality, not asshole physical actual I feel like.

That's probably why. I mean, I think most girls when they lose their virginity, they're like, oh, I wish I could take it back.

I mean, I think I'll be honest, I think I wish I would I could take it back mine.

But to be honest, also got it out.

Of the way for real, for real, instead of waiting until you're in your twenties thirties and then falling in.

Love with some slag.

Not that you can't be happy, but I do think she's behind the curve in relationships.

Absolutely and a lot of things.

Man, It's been proven that you know, later in life you have kids, the more chances of those kids coming out fucked up. Okay, whether it be you know, severe mental disabilities or whatever.

I think that's like extreme older like fifty or sixty.

Uh yeah, I read it. It was like in your thirties. You know, in your thirties.

It really makes huge change late forties.

But also it depends on your overall health too. And she looks pretty damn healthy.

Maybe I don't know how you could tell that.

I mean, she looks physically fit.

No, she doesn't. She looks like a normal human. She doesn't look like she's got a six pack and works out.

And I mean she's holding onto a damn rope doing flips in the air in a class.

Yeah, that doesn't make you physically agile. One class would hardly warrant.

You're physically fit. You're clearly adventurous. You clearly don't need a safety net.

And that.

I know plenty of people who don't look physically fit that are incredibly physically fit, So you cannot gauge that just by their looks. Some of the best fighters in the UFC look like they would destroy a donut buffet, and you wouldn't be able to catch them or they wouldn't be able to catch you in a run, So that I don't think that that's a fair assumption at all. How about this stat sixty nine a freshmen sixty percent freshman class entered college as virgins.

Good for them, a bunch of nerds.

Why good for them?

I well, because they're young still and they're maybe saving themselves.

For You said good for them, So I'm why you think that's good.

Well, as a mom of a young child, I'm like thinking, like, oh, there's still hope, that hopeful? What kid could go to College of.

Virgin You tried pimping out your kid to somebody else's daughter over that.

Is a fear that you're that your kid could knock somebody up at a young age.

That can happen at college.

Absolutely, yeah, I know it could.

But it seems but it's more it's more acceptable for you if it's at college.

Because they're older. Yeah, I would hate for it to happen, but yeah older. They're definitely older and more mature.

Ooh, I know thirty year ols did.

Have kids in or not.

Well, that is true, but they're definitely more mature in college than they are in high school, and they just.

Spent their time focusing on their grades in school work as opposed to you know, a social life, you know, having a girlfriend or whatever. In college, I think it was definitely the most reckless I ever was, and I think most people that go to college fit that bill.

What's those college years? That's why they call on those college years.

You know, you're still learning, be reckless, be fucking bulletproof, go out and do the things you know, and eventually you go out of those college years, which is usually what twenty five anywhere from twenty five to twenty eight or whatever before you hit thirty, and then you essentially grow up. I do not agree that if you're in college you're more mature. I do not agree with that.

Yeah, that is true too, But there's a lot of kids too that go to college on scholarships who know, like, Okay, I can't lose this or I can't be here.

That's true.

I have to take it real serious.

That's true.

I also know brand Bermudez was on a scholarship pre med where I went to school.

Uh, he was my weed dealer, so I hear you. But also those type of.

Quantifiers to me don't exists just because of what I've seen from people in life. I know athletes that were buttoned down, and I know athletes that were not buttoned down. Yeah, so I know people on scholarships that weren't. And I know people that were paying everything, working two jobs and you couldn't get them to party for nothing. So to me,

Or fraternity. It varied by gender.

Nearly half of male respondents, at forty nine percent, indicated they were very or somewhat interested in joining an exclusive social scene. For female students it was near thirty nine percent. I don't know if it's necessary. I definitely understand the desire.

I didn't do it to my junior senior year, and even then I was like this fucking right. But I think I think people have expectation of a college experience, yeah know, and that's part I feel like that's part of it joining a frat or a sorority as part of that college experience, departying your ass off as part of that college experience. You know, not for everybody. Sure, some people want to go and just learn, learn, learn, learn learn. Did they have sorties and fraternities where you

And the when I.

I thought you went to a two year.

School, I did, and and they had them, and they had and when and when I was done with school, I would go hang out at the University of Minnesota and they, of course they're huge there as well. And I had a friend that rushed Sigma new.

We really love you.

I paid my buck, I want my foxing. I don't know.

Yeah, and no, that's fine you sorry news boys.

Yeah, And he uh had to do some crazy asked shit And I was like, I don't know how any male would want to join, Like what, what's crazy as shit or a fraternity?

Oh?

Just being an errand boy all hours of the night and doing embarrassing shit and having to run pantless through places and I.

Mean streaking the quad dumb ass stuff.

Dumb without going to college. Aloradies do that toolties do dumbation too. I'd say, I'm trying remember the dumbest thing. They blindfolded us and put us in the back of you hall and drove around town. They had this thing where it was like one of the Knights of Hell Weak or whatever where.

And I had a pretty small class.

It was like maybe seven of us, and one of the seniors was dressed up in like all fatigues. It was like the night to honor people that were that went on to join the military or whatever. Yeah, and dressed up in all black and fatigues. They turned out the light, like turn the power off in the house, and you had to find them in the house. And you're not gonna find them one, they're gonna move. Two you don't even know the house, right, And people hiding places and throwing stuff on you.

I mean it was I.

Agree, it's a little chaotic, yeah, but it was also fun.

Yeah, that's part of the experience. Yeah.

I'll never forget getting yelled at. We had a thing called cake and ice cream. There's no cake and ice cream and getting yelled at and laughing and getting in trouble for laughing because I was a senior and I have like a sophomore or junior yelling at me. I'm like, I go ahead, it's fine. You're not gonna make me cry. I don't care. I'm done. In December, it'll be over.

Female responded, seventy six percent said they had never had sex well. The figure was sixty one percent for male responded. Entering the freshman year, the majority of all responses reported having sex. Fifty seven percent said they have had only one sexual partner.

That makes sense.

I'm not surprised by that. I think, you know, seven out of ten not having sex. It's probably a good thing only because pregnancy maybe right, But I don't know if it makes you a better or worse person because you did or didn't have sex in high school. Rushing it, you know, while your parents before they get home or whatever, we're on.

Your paper route. That's good.

Like again, they focused on their education and as opposed to being out social for having to have you know, a partner, a significant other, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever.

I think you could make it even better.

Argument that it's because you don't know how to interact with humans because you have been online the whole time, and then when you have to, you're like, I don't.

Know, I use my hand. 's true too.

If we're sitting here talking about this, I wonder, right when they they show up to college campus with their clipboards and they're going to take this survey, are they singling out the quote unquote nerds, right, you look like you've never had section in your life? Would you like to take a survey? You know, not really saying that, but you know they they're looking for a certain particular type of person.

I mean all freshmen and nerds have right, right right?

I think it's important which we don't get any is like was this online only? Was it part of the entry thing you filled out right? I ever worked?

Like there's a lot of factors that go into any survey.

Yeah, Like how do they get them to take the survey too? Like do you get a free meal if you take a survey?

Exactly?

Because I bet freshmen would do a lot for free food.

Any college students would, grown adults. Have you been to one of our remotes?

That's all they want is free stuff? Any free pin caps? You ain't gonna T shirts?

Ah, man, I got fucking coozies and bumper stickers.

T shirts.

That's true, it is he did well, sir. Yes, there's a lot of them that do to.

It's like people that sign up to win that car at the mall and they put their naven piece on the piece of paper inside it in the window.

Yeah I'm not winning a free car man.

Yeah no, I actually know somebody who did won.

It was a Harley Davidson truck that they were giving away at the mall. But uh he he didn't cash in. And I was like, well, that's fucking stupid. He's like, well, I got to pay all the taxes and this and that and and I was like, okay, I guess that kind of makes sense, but why did you put your name in the fucking bucket if you were exactly did.

They call him or did? He just was like I never called him back.

They called him up. They called him up.

I was like, why are these headphones feel so weird because they're not my headphones. I'm looking for patting. There's no padding. Anyway, they called him, and he like, I'm good. But he was one of those rough, tough kind of any ways.

I gotta be honest.

If someone called me to like, hey, congratulations, you won a Harley Davidson truck, I'd be like, fuck you, Yeah, up, I ain't believe in you.

Yeah, I'd ride it out, you know, because that's cool. I get it. I would. I would.

I'd write it out and see how if it is legit. You don't know if it is legit. Okay, cool, Well, now you're gonna have to pay taxes on it. Well how much is that gonna be? Maybe like nine thousand dollars? Do you need all that upfront?

Yeah?

Or is just something we could pay off. I would do some some work into it, because again, you don't you just say you don't hear of a lot of those people winning those vehicles. So if it was maybe like fuck, yeah, I put my name in this fucking Cadillac at the mall and look what I got.

How awesome is that? Right?

And then you get nine hundred phone calls every six hours?

Right? Potential spam? Potential spam.

I was listened to an article online about people who get caught in scams and how they people like they will call and go you there's a warrn out for arrest and you need to pay the fine and if you don't, we're gonna come arrest you.

And how.

They are banking on you reacting in a hot like in a negative, aggressive way, right, because then your emotions are wrapped up in it, and that the people then carry shame and won't talk to their loved ones about it because they think they're embarrassed. Because you're like Keim, don't fall for that stupid right. You would think you would know if you've got a warrant out if you did something to issue a warrant, well, I mean.

Yeah, honest, you would, even if even if it's just a.

Bench warrant for you know, failure to appear on a ticket or some shit. You got the ticket, you got the citation, you knew you had a court date because the officer goes over all that stuff. You know, here's your fine, or you can wait until this court date and da da da da da da da, and then you didn't show up. So you you know for fact that you have a warrant out there.

Right, if you didn't do the ticket.

There's no surprise warrants at all whatsoever. Sure, I agree hundred percent. You and I are people that don't stick your hands and heads in the sand, right and act like if it outside of side, it's side of mind. If you think you don't agree with it, I don't have to go. I racked up nine of the motherfuckers when I was in my early twenties. Yeah, you know what I mean, just because I was like, I don'll never fucking catch up to me. That's my point caught

But you know that's that. That was my college experience.

When you pulled up, you Broyle, you get pulled over there like do you have any warrants? I was like, you know, man, I hope not right, Yeah, I don't. I don't think I do.

That's gonna change the why do you think you don't a trick questions?

Damnit? You never know? Yeah.

If I've learned anything in this life, Officer, it's that life is full of the rises.

This could be one of them.

Well, that being said, is there any drugs in the car?

Not that I put in there?

This is your car, right? Did you pack the suitcase yourself?

Right?

Right?

Right?

I always love that question At the airport and they're like, did you pack your own suitcase.

I'm like, who the fuck are these people to let someone else pack their goddamn suitcase. You did do me a favor, neighbor, Jim, you come over pack my suitcase? Yeah, going on a trip, and I just I just don't want to do it.

It's a lot going on today. I don't have time.

Could you buy any chance when you come over back for me?

Do I tell them my wife packed my suitcase because she packs our suitcases.

Yeah, I mean I guess what you could. You should be like I didn't packing, my wife packed it.

Yeah.

I'm always like no, no, no, no, good all right, not any like this guy.

Actually, my wife packed it standing right here.

So that's raising a flag. You didn't pack your own suitcase. We needed to step aside. Mark ticket now every time you go through like a son of a bitch, you honest.

Yeah.

But also volunteer and information. Any lawyer would tell you, do not volunteer information to the law enforcement ever, ever, ever, ever, anybody whose job is to investigate, do not offer information.

Yes, no, that's it. Mostly No, did you pack your own suitcase?

Yes? I don't like the way you said that.

Yes, that's why I love watching those people what are they called, uh constitution checkers or I forget what they're online. They're like at the DUI checkpoint, and Biff is like license registration, and Biff's like are the drivers just.

Like not dealing with it?

License right straight, roll your window.

Down, drivers just not listening to it. Pull over there.

Because apparently they're illegal. Apparently speak duy checkpoints are illegal. I did not know that it's in proper sy.

It's on the internet.

Don't take don't fucking don't fucking bow up because Corbyn on the fucking radio. But I could see how someone would get to that they're illegal. I have never personally been through one as a driver. I have been through

He was drinking liquor all night long. So but he got out of it. It worked.

Yeah, I think they can't just pull you aside.

Okay. It says that thirty eight states use DUI checkpoints. They are legal in those states, are our constitutional under the US Constitution. Twelve states do not. New Hampshire, South Carolina, and Utah can only use them with judicial approval.

Okay, I know they have to make a public notice interact, like.

They can't just do it.

They have to make an effort like tell the news stations like, Hey, we're going to UI checkpoint at this place. But that doesn't make any sense because then everybody's just going to avoid that particular road or intersection. Yeah, you know, and they'll just find another way around to get where they need to be.

So DUI checkpoints illegal understate law include Alaska, Idaho, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Oregon, Rhode, Island, Tajas, Washington, and Wisconsin. Those ones that are illegal illegal, Okay, they violate individual rights.

Okay, so if your fuck do you live here in Oklahoma.

In Texas, DOI checkpoints are not permitted because state courts have ruled them unconstitutional under.

The Texas Constitution. Michigan's require DOI checkpoints to be conducted with specific safety measures. Oversight checkpoint must be plan in advanced to minimize discretion by officers in the field public notice. Many states require that the public is notified of a checkpoint.

Locations in advance.

Neutral procedure stops us follow a neutral formula, stopping every third car rather than singling out specific vehicles.

I thought they just stopped everybody coming through.

Safe checkpoints must be clearly marked, clearly marked by all the red blue lights that are block in the road. I think it even has the sounds like there is a h DUI checkpoint ahead.

Uh huh.

And you can't fuck can turn around when you see that sign because then they know, yeah, you're like, go get this guy. I have no interest to participate in any of that stuff now. I'd rather just not drink. It's usually they make it so easy with Uber and Lyft and all that ship nowadays, you really you really.

Don't have to. But I don't have eight dollars to get home.

But you had eight dollars to sit here and drink all night better than eight thousand.

Uh huh. Ain't that the truth? Telling you?

Where wool?

Yeah, lose your Internet privileges. I'm confident people would change their tune. You lose Facebook, right, Oh, I'm Facebook band because I got in trouble with the law.

How about you no longer get mail? You can't get ship mailed, do you?

I guess?

I mean the only thing that ever comes in my mail is fucking bills anyway.

Amazon, you still abstained from You still abstain from paying your bills?

Right? You will pay your bill you. I just gotta remember to pay him. Sorry.

I got d y last month and they stopped sending me mail.

And I didn't know I had to pay my water bill. I didn't. I was supposed to be here. Yeah.

I don't get mail. Remember you took that away from me last time.

We sent you a notice in the mail. Well, fuck, I don't.

We also sent an email. Yeah, you took the internet away too.

Yeah.

Why don't you dressed up for court?

Sir?

You made me wear.

Wool, right I am.

I'm wearing my court appointed outfit, my wool pants, wool socks, wool shirt, wolf sweater, and my wolf fucking.

Cap and my wolf shoes.

Right, and and I'm so chaped, sir, from the wool underwear. So do you know how many Etsy I can't buy shit on Etsy forget my wolf stuff because.

You took away my internet.

Right.

I gotta, I gotta go to the local bohemian shop. And I was like, do you ones this new essential oil?

Some as you want an I side ball?

Uh something like that. Yeah, I like it.

All right, you guys have a fantastic week, and uh, we'll talk.

To you later.

See yeah.

Oh bye bye