I got an email when we were talking about mailing little gimpis in the mail? Yeah, your specimens for testing. And they said, this is this is wild because I have this whole new respect for mailman or male people.
If this person is talking about D and D.
No, No, that's not it. I'll come back to that, because that's also really entertaining. I guess I've lost it. But they said that their friend worked did sculptures or face recreations for FBI, and they would occasionally get heads in the mail. Yeah. I saw that text he composed heads. How messed up? Is that right? That you're mailing a head in the mail? Yeah? Is that something you should
just pick up? Like drive wherever it is, Just pick it up yourself as opposed to it, because what if it's in Massachusetts and this sculptist is in Tulsa, You're gonna make them drive all the way or fly. I think where I'm at it with it is that it's someone's father, son, child, friend, brother, grandpa like something. Yeah, And I would hope that it would be treated with
a little bit more respect than thirty seven cents. Maybe, So I don't think that the carriers are going to be treating it like Jim Carrey and Ace Van Tura. I hear you. I've watched mail carriers. I don't want that job. It's not easy, uh huh. But I've seen male carriers not treat mail well. So right, maybe, so if they do. That person's dead and that person who was once somebody's father, brother, you know, dad, whatever, it's no longer them. It's just it's just a body. At
this point. The personality is gone, the soul's gone, it's just it's just a shell. So then you're four people that have sex with dead bodies. Then that shouldn't be a big deal. That's what you want to do. It ain't for me, but you know, fuck whatever, dude, I'm just saying, like, there's no real harm in that, is what I mean, because they're not real. You're absolutely right.
Yeah, yeah, Wow, it's fucking weird. It is, but it doesn't affect my.
Life exactly exactly.
Yeah, I'm not going to be your friend.
I'm of the belief it does affect my life because we have morals and values, and when you let those slip, then that becomes at like you're condoning it. Being complicit with something makes you makes like you're okay with it until they start fucking my dead mother is your thing? Some things I didn't know you can. Apparently you can mail like a potato, just a single potato. Yeah, if it's got you know, postage on it and everything all like,
without putting it in like an envelope or anything. So just slap a stamp on that, bitch and send it through the mail. Yeah, that's fun. You should do that, but just to see what kind of condition it shows up, and that's fun. I like that. Somebody said, a three foot black dildo. Again, if it's got postage on it, Yeah, it works. Coconuts okay, to go with the three foot black dildo. No, these are separate, but it have to be again, it has to have the appropriate Yeah postage too.
You're gonna have to have the stamp fixed somehow.
Yeah.
This says we had a package leaking water that said live fish, and while it was leaking, a small fish fell out and flopped on the ground. Yeah.
Every now and then we come across packages cremated remains.
That didn't surprise me. Annie. People stuffing hair andusiness reply envelopes going to credit card companies is somewhat common. Occasionally we get somebody pooping in an envelope sending it. Yeah, I could see that. Somebody trying to, you know, stick it to the man. You're sticking it to the man. You know, you're doing that whole colon check thing. And you ship a box and sent it through. But let's play that out like you're you, you're mad at Bob's drywall,
and you're gonna send ship to Bob's drywall. You're punishing a bunch of people that have nothing to do with it before. Bob may not even ever see it, and probably not. When I was working at the forward place before I got here and the warehouse they had returns or whatever, and somebody had returned apart. I guess it was a disgruntled mechanic or some shit. But they shipped the box and sent it back to us. And is
that criminal? It should be. It should be fucking old George back here, George fucking just just going through fucking opening boxes, you know, because you got to open it up and see if that's the actual part, what it is you got to cross for it, blah blah blah, and uh, fucking showing up, man, there's a there's a big old, funking honky turd in the box. I laughed. I it sucked for George that had to deal with it, and of course he got the manager in the you know,
what do we do about this? And I don't know what they did about it? But but yeah, it sucks, but it's fucking hilarious. Yay. So I don't know if this is true. This says yes, mailing feces to someone is a crime.
What's the charge? A couple options here.
Biological hazard, human or animal waste is considered hazardous materials and illegal to send through the mail under USPS regulations unless notarized. Not notarized like like a notary like noted that it's for that right harassment and stocking laws. If you send it to annoy, harass, or intimidate someone, it could be a criminal offense. Okay, that makes sense. Health and safety vile relations. Mailing biohazardous materials can lead to fines or even jail time, depending on local laws, and
tampering with mail. If it leaks, damages other mail, or causes postal workers to report it, you could face additional charges. You would think you would think as a mail carrier, you'd you'd smell it through the box, right, I just assume it's in a box. Shitting in an envelope seems a little weird, but either way, I figure you would still smell it regardless, be like, man, this package really smells like shit. You know what's going?
Yeah?
You know, maybe squeeze it or whatever to find out what what? What the fuck is this?
I think it would be funnier to just if you're going to try to mail something that's you know, a prank or whatever, just get that fart spray and then yeah.
Have you seen have you seen? Have you seen the video of the guy with the fart spray going up to people in inflatable characters and spraying it right in the fan? Yeah? Oh yeah.
And then they try to get out, they try to chase them.
Yeah. What do you think the penalty is for hazardous materials sent through the US mail? H? Lindsay, what do you think?
Some jail time? Probably up to a year and a ten thousand dollars fine.
I was going to say at least six months jail. At least six months jail time. I'm sure there's and or fine involved, This says Finds up two quarter of a million dollars up to a year in jail, don't you And then tampering with mail?
What do you think the penalty is for that tampering?
Another year in prison and twenty five thousand dollars fine.
Five to ten years in prison with one hundred thousand dollars fine. This is a hairy one because if it damages other mail or causes issue for postal workers, you can get popped for tampering with the mail and you can go up to jail for five years. Yeah, oh yeah, they take the mail seriously for whatever silly fucking reason.
I don't think it's a silly reason.
I think there needed to be a clear we're not gonna let you f round and find out. I wonder how many people fucked around before they're like, hey, okay,
we gotta do something about this. I often think about stuff like that, like how many children died in a five gallon bucket before they decided to put a label on it and said, hey, watch out, Or how many children died from playing with a Walmart sack before they're like, we should put a warning on here, and you know, at least tell the people not to let their kid play with this thing too. Yeah, I mean, I think you're right. It is a little They are pretty severe.
I think this is the way it should be for a lot of crimes. It should be massive, right, It should make you go damn. It would detour people from doing that sort of thing. Whatever it is you want to make people no longer speed, Make the fine insane absolutely, quarter of a million dollars, right.
Lose your license forever.
Yeah, that shit's fucking and that would make me go, okay, I'll slow down a little bit. It should be I don't want to do that. Yeah, you could still drive, but if you get caught and get you go to Jeff for like ten years. Right, what are you in for murder? What are you in for speeding? I was trying to find the origin, the origin for why we have those laws. It just explained to me the laws, like I'm aware that we have severe penalties, right, but
why do we have severe penalties? Was people just mailing fucking heads in the mail? Yeah, know, to to their enemies. Maybe the like the pony Express robberies and things like that was the cause like to try and okay, stop that type of thing because it was so rampant. Okay, yeah, I had a great uncle that worked for the Pony Express. That's cool. Yeah, but it wasn't like back in the day where they actually rode ponies. I mean, he was
still delivery guy driving his truck or whatever. But I can still say I had a great uncle that for the Pony Express. Right, the actual pony part was only one part of the Pony Express. There were still local offices, right, just express post. A little Act of seventeen ninety two made it a federal crime to steal your tamper with mail. The government saw the mail system as essential for communication and commerce, so crimes against it were treated seriously. Isn't
that unique. It's so interesting because we have theyse were like, whoa, this is gonna be a big deal. Let's protect it and the Internet. They're like, they need no help whatever, be willing nilly. In the eighteen hundred, stealing mail became a punishable offense, with public whippings or imprisonment. Public whippings. Comstock laws made it illegal to mail obscene materials showing the government's control over the mail. What is deemed obscene?
I mean back then a woman wearing pants, right, showing and putting your hands in your pocket. Right now, you can fucking mail a three foot deck with you know, out any kind of package wrapping around it. You know, that's not I've seen. You know, poor fucking mail guy's got to get that floppy son of a bitch out and shove it into your fucking mailbox or your mail slot,
whichever one you may have. Right, just say uh. This says that it is deemed a government protected services service and crimes against it are considered attacks on the national infrastructure. Because that makes sense. It is government affiliated. Okay, so I'm on board with that. That makes sense. Yeah, but not a lot of you know, shitting in boxesn't sitting there like we gotta do something about this, right and now they promoted on the TV. Absolutely you should ship
in a box, mail it in. I think the mailman is like, god damn, yeah, marshal, can we cut that out. We should ask the guy that we see all the time, like, how many boxes for colorectal cancer do you get? I don't know if he would know, because I think he looks like just strictly like commercial. No, he's gotta got residential stuff. Yeah, yeah, well maybe we would have to ask him then, because we've talked about it and he
plans this stop based on the weather. Okay, And we're talking about the mailman we see in the lobby, right, nobody knows is that his name? I just say Maleman.
He's been in this building forever? Yeah, since when I was in this building before. Okay, so yeah, forever he's been here.
Did you know his name then or okay, of course she did. That's that's probably why she remembers it.
And from when I worked in the other building across the street he was there too, so no one from there as well.
Right, that's a good question.
He's super nice, he's a great guy.
If he's out there when I go smoking down, maybe I'll ask him how many boxes and ship do you have to pick up?
And do you know that that's what it is?
Or do you get weird? Do you do weird things? Like what what's the weird thing? Because we don't want to know the personal man, some people share what's the weird thing you get in the mail? Like you've seen is it noted when it's correctal cancer type? Right? Right? You would think something like that would be a little
more discreet, just a plain brown box. You know it goes to a special department, right, It has just got a label on it that says, you know, you know, Peterman Labs or whatever you know, Right, So you don't know that it's shit in a box. You just know it's you, dude, just like that male man knows when you're getting the Playboy, Right, that piece of plastic that it's sitting in, that plastic sleeve that's all black. Every magazine I can see the cover except for this one.
He ain't stupid. No, this is a really funny one. When we're talking about D and D. If this person is talking about D and D, you're talking about something that has only recently become acceptable to play. So this group probably had zero tolerance as an adult to be talked about or made fun of. Your best bet is to throw yourself on their mercy and give home till it blows over. Now. I did some investigating because this
feels like a really wild fucking take. Though they are correct that D and D people got made fun of and still do. Yeah, my whole segment out of it. It was only in the eighties when it wasn't acceptable because it was seen as satanic, right, and now fifty million people have been playing it since the early two thousands, so I don't know what you mean acceptable. It seems pretty wildly acceptable, I think so. I never got into it, but that's just me. My little brother did, okay, And
that's about as far as I can get you. Unless I read it wrong. So let me read it again. Maybe it was I read it incorrect. I'm going to pick it up because I'm not going to read the whole thing about something that have only recently become acceptable.
Maybe they're in it.
Well, twenty five years that is relativeatively recent. I mean people do stuff like that to try and gains no recent that is it not one hundred years ago? Yes, but it has been longer acceptable than the duration of time it was in question, right, So therefore you can't use it like it's only that you you went through. It isn't slavery, right, It isn't. You can't go We went through years and decades of it, right, decades of oppression.
For yes, it feels really really over the top dramatic level.
For Warlock. The person probably got scorned and hurt, you know, people making fun of them, and they're like, I am going to fire off an email right now. Yeah, I don't let them know how I feel. I saw a thing today and it said, if you're not in high school anymore, it doesn't matter if people make fun of you. Sure, you're absolutely right. It really shouldn't even matter in high school. But for whatever reason, it fucking does.
I trying to figure it out in middle school.
Yeah, middle schoolers or assholes. Yeah, I'm just saying, but yeah, as an adult, you shouldn't worry about all that. No, people still do, if you'll still do listen, I like scented candles. If that bothers you, it's one of my favorite things to say. I hope you and your therapists can work that out, because that doesn't have anything to do with me. Don't worry about me and what I do in my weird habits. But we do. Yeah, I mean,
even politically, we worry about other people's habits. Well, yeah, because nobody wants to be judged, even though everybody judges everyone all the time. No, I'm saying, we put our nose in things that have nothing to do with us, right, Okay, that attitude I agree with. Like, whatever I do on my own ain't none of your business. But that we don't let that happen. We don't follow those guidelines across the board. Just don't tell them what you do when
you'll be all right? Who clears? If you like to smell dirty diapers, but this is America, I want to smell dirty diapers. Isn't this the land of the free and the home of the brave. Like to step forward and say that I like the smell. I want to be a human diaper genie. Oh gosh again, kind of going back to fucking dead bodies. A little weird, but if that's what you want to do, yea have about it. Yeah, I think there's a giantly between smelling poop and fornicating
with a corpse. That's just me, though.
The smelling poop obsession is kind of like when people have their urge to eat things like cotton.
Pinka dirt, pika disease, or or some shit like that. I don't think those are the same. I don't think smelling farts has to do with pinka. Maybe it does, but.
That's what it reminds me of.
Okay, well that doesn't make it though.
But weird, but weird things. People just have it like that. I I don't like the taste of lead and a pencil, but you know some people do, right. But like, I don't think it's because you think it's weird, because I don't think eating ocre is normal. But that doesn't make people that eat okra have piica no, because okra is an actual food. You know, when you start eating paper towels, that's when you got the issue. Okay. Picka is an
eating disorder. Eating disorder, not smelling when a person compulsively eats non food items that have no nutritional value. This can include things like dirt, clay, chalk, ice, paper, hair, or soap. It has to last for at least one month and isn't part of a cultural or developmental norm. It's common in children, pregnant women, and people with nutrient deficiencies like iron and zinc. Can be linked to mental
health OCD, autism, medical issues like anemia. Eating non food items can lead to serious health problems like poisoning, intestinal blockages, or infections. Okay, I was wondering if there was a disorder when it comes to, you know, smelling things. It says the old factory reference disorder, also known as the old factory referenced syndrome is a mental health condition characterized by a persistent, distressing preoccupation with the belief that one
emits a foul or offensive body odor, even though others don't. Say. Okay, so that's just thinking that you smell bad when you really don't. That's what I picked up on that. Yeah, I need a disorder where it's like I like to smell weird shit, sometimes actual shit. There's once a woman that ate an entire car, an entire car. Yeah, she ate glass, rubber and metal parts. They discovered large amounts of metal in her stomach. Okay, how big a car
are we talking about? Is this like a Hana Civic or It's French, so it's had to been like a Renult or something fucking French. Of course. A man ate fifteen hundred light bulbs. Wow, he had an extreme case of pica. Over his lifetime. He consumed light bulbs, razor blades, TVs, and small appliances a small airplane sorry, Assessa, Oh god. His stomach lining was unusually thick, allowing him to digest all these objects. Listen, I do not want to take
a deuce after eating a cessna. You're right, yeah right?
How did he survive.
Who was that guy? Biggie fucking liked him, and he would fucking eat anything and everything. I've seen him eat like computer mice before and fucking cameras. Ah, I forget his mister something another.
Show, nice shoe, nice show.
Nice Yeah. Yeah, that guy was weirdo. He was on Tosh for a little while, I think, or whatever. Yeah, is he still alive? I'm looking because I'm curious. This says he's still alive. Ow.
He's a competitive eater and YouTuber.
Okay. In twenty thirteen, he set the Guinness World Records for eating the most birthday cake candles in one minute and twelve seconds. Oh god, he started chudging large amounts of alcohol, especially vodka. Okay, so he's got it. I mean that's more than just is it a disorder? Is
a disorder? So okay, I'm gonna say yes. I think when you do something isn't normal and it gets you celebrity status or perceived celebrity status, and then you continue to do it to feed that, Okay, I think that is a mental disorder.
Okay, whether it's clinical, I don't know.
All Right, I'll give you that.
In twenty twenty four, show.
Nice gained further recognition for his comedic talents through personalized video message created for YouTube for a certain YouTuber on Camo. The video featured this person's cameo experiences. What's his cameo? Shoe Nices? Yeah? How much you think? Oh? I have twenty bucks?
Twenty dollars probably?
Yeah? Five bucks? Yeah, five bucks. Yeah, those cameos are not very expensive. I guess it depends on who you're getting Shoe Nice. Yeah, five bucks. You know, George Clooney might charge you fifty. Okay. The Office Brian you know Brian Bumgardner, the from the Office you have the bald head.
Yeah, his is one hundred and ninety five dollars.
Okay, Uh? Kevin from the Office, correct, Yeah, uh is this how much again? One hundred and ninety five damn. The the one that Steve Crell's character lived with Jamie, the manager from like over him. Okay, they had a relationship and they lived together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's four hundred and ninety nine dollars, wow, jam Jan Yeah yeah, one Okay. The Office was pretty big show, and it's really gotten a lot more popular since it's been off
the air. Andy Buckley, who played the regional manager that ended up getting fired, and he went to go visit him and they drank beers in the hot tub, but Steve Carell's character kept his shirt on. He's one hundred and ninety nine. Okay, I mean these are They're not nothing, but they are a lot. Yeah, because you can break it down by by shows. Right Dean Norris from Breaking Bad two and forty five. R J might the kid that the kid the son. Thats why he did all
of it because his kid had cancer. Right, ninety nine bucks. Oh no, his kid was in a wheelchair. Okay, is that right? Fuck? I don't know. Yeah, you can make a bank off this. Let's see Netflix. The guy who played the clown from The Terrifier two hundred bucks. Guess how much Mark McGrath charges. Yeah, Sugar Ray himself, Hold on, he's a big deal. Yeah. Yes, I'm gonna say he's not a greedy guy and he doesn't say no to any money situation. I'm gonna go two.
Hundred Yeah, that sounds good.
I'll go.
I'll say one fifty ninety bucks. Oh ninety bucks from from Old Sugar Ray. That's fun.
Jim Norton, the comedian Norton.
What do you think?
Hmmm, one hundred buckshy.
One hundred and fifty ninety nine bucks.
Yeah, Lou Diamond Phillips.
Ldp uh no, he's going to be like another but like two hundred, one hundred and seventy five Yeah, that's Lou Diamond Phillips. How about it? Says here Clinger from Match You kidding? He's still alive. By the way, how much do you think Klanger from Fucking Mash is Jamie farr is the name?
One hundred and seventy five bucks?
Okay? How much you paying Klanger to do a cameo? Dude? Twenty five bucks? One hundred and twenty five dollars wild, Tommy Talma do it for a Bill Fitty? How about see Thomas Howl Okay, see Thomas al He's he's in Tulsa all the time.
Yeah.
Uh he said it's his second home.
Uh taps Outsiders?
Yeah, great actor, probably about ninety nine dollars I think one? Okay? Oh almost, Andy Reid, Oh that's fine. Almost. There's like, yeah, it's a guy who does it, and like he'll show up on Fox NFL. They always show him going to commercial from football games. He looks pretty close. It was really close. Yeah.
Is he getting two hundred bucks?
Do ever? Thirty nine dollars? Oh?
Nice?
I mean if you're a Chiefs fan, yeah, you're totally doing that. I wonder if like this goes straight to the celebrity, like you know, Jamie Farr gets to the whole No, they take their twenty five. Yeah. John c McGinley, the Bob's character actor, He's been in a bunch of stuff. He's a really great actor. How much you think, Oh, he's seventy five dollars ninety four hundred and seventy five dollars. Fuck Sean Aston from a Goonies Yeah, yeah, fifty first dates.
Yeah, he's probably up there to four hundred bucks.
Oh man, I wouldn't pay too fitty. That's the number that's popping in my head though.
Three hundred and ninety nine dollars.
Hell no for Sean Aston. Dude. I'm trying to think, like if I were going to do this for my wife or my brother, right, I might do a Chiefs player for my brother. Okay, but even then he'd be like, thanks, well do do Chiefs play? I mean, I guess they have athletes on here, so I mean they probably do past. Right, Let's just see what athletes they have in here. Antonio Brown, Oh god, yeah, Kan City Chiefs doesn't even there's nobody
listed here as a kan City chief. Antonio Brown charge you two fitty hey, get one for Brett farre three hundred bucks. But Brett Farble sends you a personalized message. Marv Levy famous Buffalo Bill's coach Hall of Fame. Good awesome dude, three hundred fifty bucks. Lou Holtz, Oh god, very famous coach? Right? Was that notre Dame? Right? Yeah? How much do you think Lou Holtz is charging on his cameo account? Uh? Two hundred bucks, honey, seventy five dollars.
Wow, that's it.
Yeah, I mean if you want a guy who's legendary, that that's him.
I remember a few years ago a girlfriend of mine got one from Heather McDonald on her birthday. Who she's a comedian, Heather McDonald.
Okay, no clue.
She does a lot of stuff with the with Bravo celebrity. She makes fun of a lot of Bravo celebrities. Okay, And I'm looking her up now and she's ninety nine bucks.
Yeah, I mean you set your own price. I wonder hold on.
Here, listen, that's fun. I wanted to see if there were any Diamond Dallas Page if you remember that, one hundred and forty nine dollars. Yeah, do you what do you get? I was trying to look for people in the radio world to see, okay, how much they're charging like a seacrest or a stern sort of thing.
Yeah, Jackie joke, Man, he's in here. One hundred bucks, okay, Antonio Brown.
Of these other stuttering john seventy bucks. Yeah. I was I was like, come on, man, let's see if this guy's in here.
Because he's wouldn't surprise me.
He's a right, we could do this, but this see. If we did this, I feel like the company'd be like, hey, we need the I'm not doing this, we need a percentage.
No not or making fun of all these people.
And now we're joining them.
Yeah, if someone wanted to pay me to do this, I would totally do it. But hell, i'd do it for free though.
Yeah, I would just do it for them. I'm not doing the whole like let me.
Yeah, I'm not doing all that.
That's wild. Lunchbox is in here, not the lunch box, but a different lunchbox. But yeah yeah, not that one, not this one, yeah, the one they used to work for us. Yeah all right, guys, have a great week. Make sure you heart us on the iHeartRadio app. Make us your preset. Yeah, that's what it is, make us your preset. They actually keep track of that, so it would make us look good if you did that. So you guys have a great week. See ya, by bye.