Ep 154: Find Your Mom Group

done. So let's simplify the process and clear the clutter to see the blessings God has for us. I know your time is valuable. So thanks for joining me each week for a healthy dose of organization and a whole lot of motivation. Well, hey there busy mom, how are you doing today? I hope that you're doing well. I am feeling all kinds of supported and loved. And it is because I am just back from a wonderful meet up with my mom life, ladies. So you may have heard me talk about

mom life before. I have been going to it since it was actually long before it was called mom life at our church. And our church and our school are combined. They're separated by a courtyard area if you're physically going in, and first you walk into the church, and then you go through the courtyard, and then it becomes our kids school. So this area is definitely a home away from home. We are there just about every day of the week, including the weekends, too. So this place

has been a wonderful retreat. It has been a wonderful celebratory place to go. And I've definitely been going to this same church and my kids school for so many years now. And I think it was 2015 When I first became one of the leaders, I had actually been going when it was moms. So if you have never heard of that before, that's mothers of preschoolers. And we went when I

did have a preschooler, Isabel was my preschooler. And I actually was in another offering that our church had for the moms in the community, they didn't even have to go to our church or school. And it's the same way mom life is now. So if you're just you know, in neighboring communities and your kids go to a different school, or you go to a different church, you can still come to our church and do the Mommy and Me program. So many years ago, 2015. It was when I had Isabel adatok as a

toddler, and then I also had my Duke as a baby. And I was attending those classes and those meetings, and I loved it. And then a friend of mine, who was one of the leaders in mob said, I am leaving our family is moving to a different state. And I know you have come many times and you are a consistent face we see in the audience and you participate when we have questions and all that. And she said, I think that you would be wonderful if you would consider serving on our leadership

committee. And I was honored. I was surprised because I still felt like I had really little littles and I was like, oh, gosh, I'm still learning this stuff. I don't even know what I have something to contribute, I don't know. And so I was so

grateful. She asked me to do that, because that really opened up this new world to experience a leadership role with this group that had given me so much support and so much love as a member, someone who was just coming and listening to all of the speakers and participating in the conversation when we would break out for table groups. And so I was honored. So in about 2015. It was around there that I took on that

leadership role. And I was the Speaker coordinator. So I had a fun role where I got to reach out to people in the community and ask them to come and be speakers. And now fast forward after I had to step out of that role because I went back to work teaching and I actually taught at that same school. Then when my son was in preschool, and my daughter was getting ready to go into second grade, I had been a second grade teacher. At that time, I thought, You know what, we're gonna let her have her

moment. And so I stepped out of second grade as she came into second grade. And then my son and I got to have some beautiful alone time together before he got into preschool and TK and kindergarten. And so we had some time and that's also when I started my business. And so while I wasn't temporarily for a

couple of years, a leader there. I then ended up being asked to come back when they decided that they were going to turn it into mom life because we saw that we were losing a lot of these amazing moms who were leaving because their kids were out of preschool when we were doing mops, mothers of preschoolers, and we were losing them out of mommy and me because their kids

were growing up, and they were starting school. And we were like, We need to have some sort of group on campus, here were all those moms who were losing, because their kids are outgrowing these times of their lives, we need to keep them together, because we realize how important it really was to all of us to have that mom community to support each other. And we would all be going through different phases at different

times. And the beauty of mom life is that we would have these brand new moms who were still in mommy and me who would have been the perfect attendees of mops, mothers of preschoolers. And then we would also have these moms who were seasoned moms who were more experienced moms who had been around for a little while, and we're able to help those new women coming into this new role of motherhood and share their experiences and say, girl, don't you even worry, we went through that too. And our kids

turned out fine. And believe me, I have been the recipient of those kinds of statements before where you struggle, and you're like, I am dropping the ball, I'm not doing a good job. And then you've got these moms who were like, Oh, honey, don't even worry this, we totally went through this, this is normal, it's okay. Or here are some resources that you can use to come out of this and get to the other side. And then of course, when I received that information, I certainly wanted

to give it back. So before I tell you today, a couple of resources that I just wanted to share with you that have been helpful for me, I wanted to just let you know that if you have not found your mom group, figure out a way to connect with people in your community. So if you are driving by a church, and you think well, I don't go to that church, that doesn't mean that

you couldn't be a part of a mom group that they might offer. We have these amazing tools called our cell phones and computers these days, where you can actually just type in mom groups, local mom groups, it doesn't have to be associated with a church, it doesn't have to have a faith based background, if there is something that you feel like you would just like to have support on, you know, Bedwetting, or transitioning from a toddler bed to a big kid bed, or going

through potty training or going from breastfeeding to weaning at that time. Or maybe you want to talk about some struggles, if your kids have special needs, and you need some resources for things like that. You don't necessarily have to go with a church. So that is the place that I've always felt that extra comfort, that extra faith based background, I've always loved that. I've also really enjoyed a lot of times meeting with those mom life ladies, we can then break off and do Bible studies.

And I really, really liked doing Bible studies with these mom friends, because it allows us an opportunity to just connect on a deeper level, it gives us that sort of home feel, you don't necessarily have to do it at church, you can take turns, and each of you hosts a different night, have people into your home, go into people's homes, even again, if this is not Bible study related. You could do a book club, something like that.

Pick these groups of women that you can actually see yourself hanging out with outside of this mom group, and make plans to actually do that. Because that support and love is not just needed at church is not just needed. At school, it is needed all the time. So one of the things that I love about going to these groups is that you don't have to be formal. So I

actually joked a couple of weeks ago, I was the speaker at mom life and I talked about an episode that I had recorded prior to going and when they some of the leaders actually heard the topic they're like Paige can you actually come in and speak on overscheduled to a fault. So I definitely did. And it was well received and we were all cracking up because the first thing I said was, I would just like to thank you all this group means so much to me because it really just holds me

accountable for my personal hygiene. So I joked because I knew that I needed to take a shower the night before to make sure that I had like clean hair and I looked put together and whatever. So that totally came up in our conversation and when I was also doing the speaking engagement because that's kind

of the funny thing. You know, like when you're a mom sometimes you feel like you're doing all these millions of things on the home front and sometimes you can be like oh my goodness, it's three o'clock it's time to go pick up the kids again from carpool and I'm still in my pajamas. Even if you've been incredibly productive that day, you can be very productive in your pajamas. But the joke was, I felt like these ladies deserved to have a speaker who was going to actually take a

shower and wash her hair and put makeup on and whatever. And so we kind of joked about that. And that became the topic of conversation. So then today, when I went back, it's a couple of weeks later, because we don't meet every Friday morning because a couple of weeks later, the amazing Kelly was a dear friend of mine. Now she's been on the mom life Leadership Committee for years. She was speaking on anxiety and motherhood. It was just absolute gold today, as I go to see her.

The big joke was a couple of weeks prior I had, you know, talked about well, if you don't see me with a hat on that means I actually got a shower and wash my hair but and then of course, what happened today I show up in my hat. And they're like, Oh, hey, you're wearing a hat. And I'm like, Yeah, you know what that means? Day four, not a wash the hair, though. It's also this like beautiful lace where you can go and show up in your pajamas. If you need to show up nursing your baby sitting on the

back row or in the front row. For that matter. We don't care, a place where you can go and feel like you're kind of a hot mess Express because we will love you regardless. That is why it is so very important to find your mom group. Additionally, as we were talking about the hat, I joked that I said, oh boy, well, you always knew what was going on in my car after I dropped the kids off at carpool. I was running a little bit later today

as far as like what I wanted to get done. And I was like, Oh, I'll pick up some extra time and not do my makeup at home. I'll just grab my makeup bag. I'll do it in the car. You don't know I'm laughing but I know why. So as I'm sitting there, you know dropped off Isabelle at carpool in the middle school lot dropped off Duke in the elementary school lot. I pull over I like wave to the heads of

school, you know, and then I pull in. And they're probably like, oh pages here, she's got to run mom life like she's just gonna pull over in the parking lot here. And so I get ready to take out my makeup bag. And I realized that my little sponges that I used to apply my you know, the foundation and concealer. I usually use the ones that are in a canister little container that's in a tray on my bathroom counter beside my seat. And I was like, oh, shoot, I don't have any of

those. Usually I'll throw some them. I just grabbed my little travel makeup bag. And I was like, Oh no, I don't have those. And I thought, Gosh, I don't want to just put it on my hands and rub it in on my face. Because then it'll be all over my hands. And I just was like, Oh, I don't want to go that's kind of yet. And so I thought how am I going to get my makeup

on? What sort of thing Do I have to apply it and of course, most moms, you're either going to have you know, baby wipes in the console of your car, or you're going to have napkins in your glove box. So of course I have those. But I was like, Oh, I really wish I had something that was a little more like a cotton base like a thicker. And then I realized in my makeup bag, I've got some organic tampons. I'm like, Well, why not? Let's try it. It's certainly hygienic. It's going to be like a clean

cotton thing you know. So I pull out this tampon, and I flatten it out. And it is let me just tell you Mom hack of the year, I am applying my makeup. If anyone pulls up next to me and sees me doing this, they're gonna see this like application of makeup going on with the string hanging down. Okay, that is this is how I live my life. And this is the story that I then share at mom life as we are all joking about pulling ourselves together and

trying to show up and look decent. But really we all know

that there's all kinds of nonsense going on behind the scenes. And these women and I we were rolling, we were laughing and we were all talking about how you know we have like discovered these crazy mom hacks over the years and you just got

to share it with your girlfriends. And whether you are struggling with your kids wetting the bed or you are struggling with breastfeeding or you are struggling because you need to apply some makeup and you do not have any sponges in your makeup bag and you have to get real creative and

resourceful. This is why you need mom friends. So if you feel like you have got a community around you and you might be missing out, have you got some FOMO because you feel like you see the moms going to and from church or school and they've got their crew and you just want to be a part of that. I really recommend that you put yourself out there even if maybe that's uncomfortable for you. Maybe you're not the extroverted person that feels comfortable going up to a friend group at

church. wherever you may be, maybe it's your kids, you know, sporting environment. And you know, you guys are all going all to the games and stuff together. Maybe it's we're doing musical theater right now. Like, maybe it's the theater moms and the kids or something, and you need to just be bold. What's the worst they can say? Like, no, our friend groups full? You can't join us? I mean, if they did, you don't want to be a part

of that group at all. But no, chances are, they're going to be like, Oh my gosh, yes, come with us we meet or we're going to go to happy hour this summer, we all like to drop our kids off and then go get some coffee after we, we do this group hike, where we go hiking in the mornings after we drop our kids off. Whatever it is, maybe maybe your crew loves music. And so you guys all meet up and you go to concerts together. Or maybe it's theaters or plays or something like that, that you

like to go to. And you guys want to meet up and once a month you go see a play together, maybe you're really into art, and you guys meet up and you travel around and you go see different art exhibits. Whatever it is you're into, there are groups that you could be a part of. And I highly recommend starting with your church, if you don't go to a church. Just trust that God is going to drop one in your life at the right time. And he is going to give you wonderful women in your life who can be

supportive of you. If you are local in Southern California to near where I live. If you're in the Palisades Malibu, Santa Monica, Los Angeles, Brentwood Westwood, any of those areas nearby. Reach out to me, you can go to everything with style.com. And you'll see my information on the contact page. Reach out to me and I will let you know where you can come and meet us. Moms of all ages and stages are at mom life. And we would absolutely love to have you I do have to warn you. While we have

delicious breakfasts. And we have wonderful speakers. And we have such fun things that we meet up and do. You're also going to be subjected to conversations about putting on makeup with a tampon. So just you know, just be prepared. That's the kind of stuff that could come up, okay, but you're going to be loved on and there's going to be lots of praying and hugging and fun, good fun. Good, clean, fun. Hey there quick

reminder that now there are four ways to get my book. If you head over to Amazon, you can search up I've got your girlfriend, why getting organized and living this mom life is not a solo mission. You can now get it on the Kindle app, paperback hardcover. And the audio book is finally here. So if you've been enjoying this podcast episode, I have a feeling you might love the audiobook. Thanks so much for making it a best seller. And now back to the show.

Okay, so I mentioned that I have some resources that I am I have either read in the past, or I'm working on right now. And I wanted to share those with you. And then I also just wanted to mention a little bit more about my book as well, too, if you're needing some resources for getting organized, but also just again, reading some stories about personal experiences I've gone through or my clients have gone through in that mom world.

So I'll read a little bit of that to you as well. The first thing I want to tell you is that I read this amazing book with my Bible study ladies, but also it was like more like a book club situation. So you don't necessarily have to be a part of a church to appreciate this so much. Jenny Allen has written a

book, find your people. Now I'm saying find your mom group. But as I mentioned, your group might not be this mom group that is all about just, you know, talking about your kids and talking about like, there might be specific things that you love, like I mentioned art or music, or those kinds of things that you actually might want to do outside of a church setting or a school setting. And that's another thing that Jenny Allen

talks about in her book too. It will it can be like your neighbors, you don't even have to know these people from church or school, they can be your neighbors. And I know while COVID was absolutely insane. That was a crazy time during the pandemic. I know that a lot of people have shared with me in our group and just friend groups that one of the things that they found is that they were getting outside more and talking with their neighbors more. You know, so many, many of us, were really

quarantining and having to stay at home. And so the only way we could really get out and see other people since we weren't going to a lot of places for meetings, is we would walk out on our street on our block. We'd be outside with the kids riding their bikes or playing or taking more walks in the neighborhood because that was kind of all All we could do at that time. And

the beauty of it was connecting more with your neighbors. So we actually had a new neighbor move in and I got to meet them a couple of days ago, we're so excited about that I joke, I told my mom that I've moved to Mayberry, we have this beautiful, wonderful street with these amazing neighbors could

not be more grateful for them. And one of the first things that we did it, we got invited to this block party, and we all got to contribute to bringing something and doing different things, and decorating and getting a bounce house and

running some games and activities for the kids. And it was just this awesome opportunity for all of us who are from all walks of life, all different backgrounds, getting together and just being in community, sharing stories, laughing, eating, drinking, having fun having our kids be active and part of that conversation as well. So whatever it is that you need to do whatever it is that you're interested in, figure out a way to connect with people in your

community doing some similar things. But also, don't be afraid to put yourself out there and connect with people who maybe even have different interests, because that can be a very fun way to connect with your community as well. Some unlikely relationships might form which is kind of fun. So as I was telling you find your people is a fantastic book that Jenny Allen has done. And I wanted to just read a little bit on the back because I feel like that would resonate. So it says

we aren't supposed to be this lonely. All too often, we're tempted to do life alone. Whether because we're so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. But science confirms that consistent, meaningful connection with others is crucial to our mental and spiritual health. We are meant to live known and loved. And yet so many of us are hiding behind emotional walls, that we're experiencing an epidemic of

loneliness. Find your people offers practical solutions for creating true community in a world that's both more connected and more isolating than ever before. Drawing on fascinating insights from science and history, timeless biblical truth and vulnerable stories from her own life. Best Selling Author Jenny Allen helps you overcome the barriers to making new friends and learn to initiate with easy to follow steps. find simple ways to press through awkward to get to authentic in

conversations. I love that one. Understand how conflict can strengthen relationships, rather than destroy them. That's huge. I'm going to read that again. Understand how conflict can strengthen relationships, rather than destroy them. Identify the type of friend you are and the types of friends you need. Learn the five practical ingredients, you need to have the healthy

friendships you've always longed for. You were created to play, engage, adventure and explore with others and find your people you will discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and experience the full wonder of community. Because while the ache of loneliness is real, it doesn't have to be your reality. Though I absolutely loved this book, I found it to be incredibly helpful. I love how Jenny also talks. Oh, she has a podcast too. It's called what is it called? I wasn't planning on

sharing this. So I didn't look it up beforehand. I can put a link in show notes for it. But I think it's called made made for this. That's what I think it is. I think it's called made for this look at Jenny Allen podcast made for this. It's made for something but I think that's what it is. And it's so, so fantastic. And she does actually, in a lot of the books

that she's done, she'll do these separate series of podcasts. And she'll just be talking about that particular book at the time, and different, you know, experiences that came up when she was writing it that she put in the book, lessons she learned from it. Maybe questions that a lot of the people who are doing the Bible study or the book club and reading her books are opening up those discussions and having those hard talks, the ones that maybe start out awkward but end up being

authentic. I loved that part. So definitely check that out. So both the book and the podcast for her Those are great resources. Another thing that I wanted to mention is I am just beginning this I was talking to one of my girlfriends Kristen at mom life this morning she said she's already read the first three chapters but she was immediately hooked could not put it down. So I know it's gonna be great. I also just wanted to read a short bit from the bat I read all of Jenny's this book is

called love idol. And it's by Jennifer Dukes Lee. It says letting go of your need for approval and seeing yourself through God. ARDS eyes. So one of the things that I feel like has been so invaluable, which does not word almost sound negative, if it's invaluable, it's not valuable. But the truth is, it's invaluable, because you cannot put a value on it. It is like it is so huge and so important to have these mom

friends of all ages in stages, who are there to support you. I think this whole idea of wanting approval from them is not where you should be coming from, but more being so totally secure, that you've got these moms who just no matter what, like, even if you put your makeup on with a tampon, they're gonna love you. Even if you show up with hair, that's four days unwashed, they're gonna love you. Even if you feel like you're totally crushing it at mom life or failing

miserably. They're gonna love you, and they're gonna support you. So I really am looking forward to this book. And Voskamp if you know actually, if you follow Jenny Allen, and you follow her if gathering, she has had an Voskamp be one to come and speak at that event before and she is definitely a powerhouse when it comes to speaking and and wrote about this book, Love idle, that endless exhausting crusade for approval. And here. So I love that. So this is something that

Jennifer writes on the back. Hi, I'm Jennifer. I know we've just met But already, I want you to like me. You felt it that deep longing for people to value you, respect you and love you. You've worked hard for their approval, you've wanted to make people think you've got it all together. But on the inside, you're falling apart. And you've heard this one question ringing in your ears. What will people think of me? So that's just a

little excerpt from the back of her book. And I am so ready to dive into that because oh boy, being a I talked about being a perfectionist and recovering, recovering perfectionist that is, has always been a struggle. I've always wanted to be someone who pleases others and make sure that they like me and that I'm not doing or saying too crazy thing. I want them to be able to resonate with the things that I say, and I want their approval.

And I've just had to learn as an adult. I've been able to settle a little bit more into myself, my crazy self, my myself that sometimes like over reacts to things and struggles with things that just honestly, I don't I don't mean to make such a difficult thing anymore. I have mom friends who support me, I have a family and friends that I feel like do you support me and I have the understanding that God is a part of my life. And I am not alone. Even when friends and family aren't around. I'm

not alone. So that has definitely always been something that's been really helpful for me my faith. And again, I just I can't tell you enough how important it is to find your mom group. Find your group of people who will be with you to support you in those tough times and celebrate it up when times are great. The last thing and resource I wanted to say is just don't forget that my book is out. It's now on audio. So if you enjoy the podcast, certainly, the audio book might

be right up your alley. But also even if you haven't listened to the podcast before, and you're new here, thank you so much for joining me. I always like to think that when you show up even in the middle of a podcast, that it's because God has led you to the place and it was something that you were meant to hear. So

hopefully this is landing on you well today. And also always remember you can reach out to me if you ever have something you want to talk to me about on the podcast, you would like for me to speak on if you have questions. They don't have to be got organization. They can be mom life stuff, they can be anything. They could be about makeup tutorials, but I don't know if you should dress me for that one. But sure, I'll share my tips with you if you'd like. Number one, forget your makeup

sponge at home. Okay, here is the other thing I wanted to do which is just quickly remind you the name of my book is I've got you girlfriend, the subtitle is why getting organized and living this mom life is not a solo mission. There it is. Again, it's not a solo mission, you need to find your mom group. And according to Jenny, you need to find your people and it is true. So I just wanted to read a little bit from the back of my book as well just to give you a bit of an understanding of what

you're going to find inside. I've got you girlfriend is exactly what you want to hear when all the crazy messy, exhausting, disorganized overwhelming moments happen in this small life where it living and sometimes that's all before 9am There's nothing better than feeling unconditional love and support from the people all around you But what if it feels more like you're on an island, and not the good kind of island with tropical drinks, the sound of soothing waves and a daytime

nap on the beach? What if it's the kind of island that makes you feel super lonely? Because you're missing that much needed encouragement, that boost of confidence that hype girl who totally gets it because she's in the busy mom trenches with you. Guess what? This life is not a solo mission pages here to help me. It's so weird to say pages here. I'm just gonna say I am here to help make the stress and overwhelm of getting organized and living this beautiful and wildly unexpected mom life a lot

simpler. With my proven three E's philosophy. Life can get cluttered, but we're in this together. One sippy cup reveal skinned knee, desperate attempt at a social life. 18th load of laundry third bedtime story, fifth grade math homework, runny nose, wiping poopy on the potty party, laugh until you cry, cry until you laugh, intentional step at a time. I've got your girlfriend, it says she's got you girlfriend. But again, I'm

reading it. So I've got your girlfriend. If you are feeling like you are on an island and not the good kind, I just want you to know, I understand that feeling. And I am here, I would love to support you in any way I can. And I know there are a ton of other moms out there who would love to do that for you as well. And by the way, if you just totally have your act together and you want to start your own mom group, by all

means, do it. Share your wisdom, I am absolutely certain that the people who listen to this podcast have got some amazing things to share as well, that would impact and benefit so many other lives. So if that is the message you needed to hear, I hope you will receive that. You have knowledge, you have experience. You have trials that you have lived through that will help other people. So make sure you are sharing your experience. Again, as Jenny said, authentically, don't let it be

awkward. If you come from that place of authenticity and just realness. And you put yourself out there, share your story, and you are going to help someone else. So hopefully this was helpful for you today, check out some of these resources, I will make sure to link them up in show notes. I hope that this was something that would encourage you to step outside of something you've been doing for a while if you do need a friend boost. Go find a space that would allow you to be exactly who you are.

You are loved. You were fearfully and wonderfully made, the Bible says so there are no mistakes. The way that you are is absolutely amazing. And I just really hope that you find your mom group that you love. So reach out to me if you need any more resources. And I hope that you will have an amazing rest of your week and join me next time for some more organization motivation. Bye bye. Thanks for listening to another episode of

the moms organization motivation podcast. For more resources to organize and style your busy life, head over to everything with style.com and connect with me on Instagram at everything was style mom. If this episode was helpful for you, please share it with your friends rate and review it on iTunes. That's Apple podcasts now, and let me know what you'd like to hear about next. Thanks again for listening and happy organizing.