Hi, I'm Paige Killian and I'm passionate about helping busy moms of littles organize and style their life in three simple steps. Living this mom life is incredible and sometimes completely overwhelming. Is stressing about overstuffed drawers, never ending male piles a mountain of Legos and our kids artwork, really what God intended.
No way. Getting organized has been a game changer for me and also my clients, but it has to be simple or it just won't get done. So let's simplify the process and clear the clutter to see the blessings God has for us. I know your time is valuable. So thanks for joining me each week for a healthy dose of organization and a whole lot of motivation.
Hello. Hello. Welcome back to another episode. Today we're gonna be talking about sometimes the pressures that come along with feeling like you need to be volunteering constantly. You need to be doing things for your kids' school or your church or in your community, and how that can kind of go in seasons.
And I wanna just let you know that if you ever get that mom guilt that creeps in because you are still trying to be all things to all people at all times. I would really invite you to take in this message today because that is something that I have really always struggled with and I still have those moments.
And I wanted to just talk to you today about a personal experience that's happened to me recently that really has allowed me to kind of let go of that extra pressure that I put on myself. So I wanted to talk about the seasons of volunteering and the reason. I don't know if you guys can hear that, but now, if you didn't hear that, you're gonna be like, what is she talking about?
We are having crazy weather for Southern California and I'm kind of loving it. I'm totally here for it. I have a client in just a little bit. Uh, I dropped my kids off at school this morning and for the last two days we have had some really crazy unseasonable seasonable, unseasonable. What's the way to say that?
It is typically not like this in Southern California. You know, we have all of the lovely sunshine all the time, really year round. I mean, you can wear shorts on Christmas Day, like that's how crazy it is. And being a Tennessee girl, I really miss the seasons and living in New York for a little while, I really enjoyed.
The big time seasonal changes not so great for, you know, allergies and and health as much. Definitely that's a bit of it with California, but I will say that I really, really love it in Southern California when we do have weather in air quotes and today is one of those days we've got crazy rain and I'm gonna be quiet for a second in case you can hear.
We live up high in the mountains. We have like mountains and ocean where we are. And so when I'm recording this podcast, I'm like looking out over like Mountain View, ocean View, and because we're up so high, it kind of reminds me of the Grinch up on the very, very high. Tippy top and there's, it's like a lot snowier and crazier and all that kind of stuff.
Well, we don't have the snow in Southern California, but we do have massive winds. It's like a vortex up here and it gets so, so loud, and it reminds me of those Jurassic Park moments. There it goes. Can you hear it? But it reminds me of like when the dinosaurs come out from Jurassic Park and it's like, like those scary sounds.
That's what our wind sounds like right now. So I am definitely cozying up with this sweater weather. I've got my hoodie on, I've got like a leather pant jogger moment happening today, and I'm absolutely loving it. And I was like, okay, I've gotta do a really quick. Podcast episode because I need to go over and help organize for my client.
But there's something that I've been constantly thinking about. So on this rainy, rainy morning, just days after we did the bake sale and the. Holiday boutique and the mini boutique for the kids. If you know me personally, you know, this has been a huge part of my life and something that I do for our kids school year after year.
I'm the chair of bake sale and within our holiday boutique, which is one of the largest fundraisers that our school puts on, we have done in the last couple of years a mini boutique in addition. For the kids. Now, I love this because I used to be a teacher at this school and both of my kids are now going to this school, and so I love seeing my teacher friends.
I love seeing the parents. I love seeing the little kids that once upon a time, were in my second grade class there who are now in eighth grade, which is really freaking me out. But here's the thing. I have felt this extra added pressure in the last few. That I've done this because it sort of has exponentially grown, grown, grown.
And while I love it, absolutely love it because of all those reasons I just said, we give back to the school. It's an opportunity to serve. I love seeing the kids and the joy on their faces when they get to come down and they get to get their bake sale treat and they get to, uh, shop for some toys at the new toy table that we have for mini boutique for them.
And then now this year, Going upstairs and actually running that. You know, we kind of felt like we had to clone ourselves this year. And by the way, I can't say that it's all me, my dear friend Chrissy has been along for the ride these past few years, and I could not have done this without her. She actually, in a couple of ways this year really carried me because I was very sick.
If you've listened to past podcast episodes, I did one all about when Mom gets sick. And I was really struggling because while I had done bake sale and volunteered in this way years before, I knew what to do. I knew what was coming, but I was having to find ways to contribute from my sick death bed versus physically being out, gathering the toys with my friend Chrissy, gathering all of the um, you know, the orders and the Amazon cards so that we could get all of these different things that we needed to be able to sell.
For the bake sale and the boutique. And so I was really stressed out and that's kind of what I wanna talk about today, is that if you are feeling that pressure, because maybe you have been that queen volunteer in the past and now you're feeling a lot of guilt around it, I don't want you to feel like you have to show up in the same way you have in years past if you are in a different season.
Right. So this season for me and Chrissy as well, we both were talking about how our businesses and our children really need lots more attention than they have in the past as far as showing up for them. I've shared with you that my daughter has really become, More and more involved in volleyball. So I thought that she would be finished with volleyball by now, but in fact, they did so well and were undefeated with the exception of one team.
But then they beat them in the finals. We went to the finals, which meant all of the steps before the finals, which were all of those additional games that we weren't expecting. On top of that, she decided that she was going to try out for the Sunshine Club Volleyball League here in Los Angeles and.
Ended up making it, and so now these new practices are starting and so it was like double time. We were doing volleyball on top of me feeling sick on top of unfortunately my Duke getting sick on top of him having a book report on top of me getting ready for a. Bake sale and holiday boutique and all of these things, and my brother is getting married, so trying to prepare.
I flew out, I talked about this on a past episode as well when I was talking about planning a party in three simple steps. I went out and did this bridal shower in Tennessee for my sweet new sister-in-law to be also was there for mom's birthday. So I really was just feeling like, gosh, this is the season of being pulled in a million different directions.
You gotta let yourself off the hook at some point. You gotta give yourself some grace. And it's actually funny, I just made a connection. So I told you I'm wearing a hoodie today and it's very sweater weather. I'm wearing a hoodie that says to all the ladies in the place with style and grace. Vicky, if you know me.
You know, I love Jesus and I also love me some nineties hip hop, so I have references of it in my book. I absolutely love nineties hip hop. I grew up in Memphis, Tennessee in Bartlett, and hip hop was something that was just constantly on the radio and you know, those were the days that were before I iPhones and iPods and all those things.
So we would listen to the radio and there was totally always something like that on the radio, and I absolutely love it. And so, uh, yeah, I, I'm a big fan of Biggie. Biggie, biggie Smalls Notorious, b I g, uh, Christopher Wallace, for those of you who want his given name. I love him. I love nineties hip hop, and he says it best in his music and on my sweatshirt today.
To all the ladies in the place with style and grace and I talk about my business, calling it everything with style, and that doesn't mean that you have to be perfect all the time and your hair has to be done and all the things. I mean, let me talk to you right now about what's going on. Right across my face.
For some reason, I decided that this would be the week of doing bake sale and being literally the face of bake sale and mini boutique for the kids and all of these things for the holiday boutique. I decided to go to my amazing dermatologist because I was like, oh, I have some of these burst blood vessels I've had in my face that I want you to zap and clear up.
Well, what I know is that in order to look amazing, The future for many, many years to come. Sometimes you have to look like, you know you got the plague on your face temporarily. Ladies, if you know, you know, guys, if some of you are listening, if you know, you know, sometimes you look a little crazy temporarily in order to look amazing later.
And some of these burst blood vessels had come up on my face, and so I've done this before. She's so good at it. I went in after I was so, so sick when I was very pregnant and I got violently ill, I was literally throwing up. I was like, okay, my children, I'm just trying to take care of you in my body here and you're trying to kill me.
They made me so, so sick. So it's constantly throwing up and I would throw up so hard. This is like probably more information than you want. That I would break these blood vessels in my face. I would leave the toilet and I would go look in the mirror and I would have like burst red blood vessels on my face.
It was gnarly. It was a crazy time. Where do I live in Southern California now? The southern girl just said gnarly. Okay. It was, that's what it was. So I was like, call my girl Stephanie. And I'm like, Hey, can you fit me in? My brother's wedding is coming up. I'm constantly having to do, you know these dots of concealer on my face where I have all these burst blood vessels?
Will you come in and zap me? She's like, yes, absolutely. So I go see her and I'm really just thinking I gotta get this done before his wedding. Right? Which is when I'm recording this. It's this upcoming weekend. What I wasn't thinking is that I was going to look like I had the plague or some type of, you know, flush eating disease, uh, temporarily.
It's really not that bad and I am going to have like polka dots basically all over my face. It looks like bruising, and I have five different areas that I ask her to tackle. I was like, just listen, go big or go home. Okay. So she totally zaps all these places. I forget how big the bruising is temporarily.
So I'm popping on all my concealer and you know, an hour later in the day as we're trying to hold up these signs and my daughter and all of her friends, we're all trying to stand up in the middle school parking lot to make sure when you drop off your, uh, kids, you're also remembering to drop off your baked goods for the baked sale.
And here I am looking like a dalmatian with these polka do. You know, dots all over my face. So that's what I wanna say. When you're showing up with style and. It doesn't mean you have to be perfect when you're doing everything with style. It doesn't mean you have to be perfect. It means show up, be who you authentically are.
I mean, I have to say while I didn't time it so well for the bake sale, I got a lot of love and support. The funny thing is I was joking with my dermatologist. Stephanie that I'm like a walking billboard for her business because so many of the moms, I mean listen, we all watch Real Housewives of whatever.
They're all coming up to me and they're like, oh my gosh, what did you have done? Cause everybody wants to know what are you doing for like your skincare routine that is gonna make your skin look so much better? Cuz we want a piece. And so it's so funny cause I was telling Stephanie, I'm like, listen, you.
To any outsider, you might think, this is ridiculous that I've got all this all over my face and here I am, like the face of bake sale and you know, mini boutique right now and I've got this going on. But I was like, I had so many people come up to me and be like, what are you doing? And I gave her numbers.
Out to so many people because they were like, oh my gosh, that's so great. I wanna do that. And I joked with Stephanie, they suddenly, people were like pushing up their sleeves or lowering their neckline to show me all these spots all over their body. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this. This is what it must be like to be a doctor or a nurse or a dermatologist or a, um, you know, like plastic surgeon.
Like people suddenly show you all their body parts and are not, not afraid to do that because they're like, do you think she can get this? What do you think it would do if we get it done like this? You know? Tell me more about all this.
A friendly reminder that my book is now available on Kindle and paper. Over on Amazon. So if you haven't gotten it yet or you have and you'd like to get more, head over to Amazon and search for, I've Got You Girlfriend. Why Getting organized and living this mom life is not a solo mission. You can also find a direct link over on my [email protected].
Thanks so much for making it a best seller. And back to the show.
So honestly, it was really quite funny that while my intention was to eventually look better for the photos that we'll have forever for my brother's wedding. It was actually the same time that I decided to do all this to my face right before serving our school and our community. And that is actually more to me what it looks like to show up with stuff, be authentically you.
It's okay if you look a mess. It was such a great icebreaker. All the amazing volunteers that come in and help. Run the holiday boutique and bake sale and mini boutique in particular. We were all together the day before this huge event. That's like, I mean, typically it's like 10 hours that I'm on campus for the day before the rap party where we're taking all the baited goods and cutting them up and.
Individually wrapping them and putting little bows on them and price tags and all this kind of stuff and setting up. And then the day of, I mean, it was, I think I was there for 13 hours that day with setup before the sun comes up and cleanup when the sun has already gone down. And then the following day on Saturday, the weekend where you go back just to make sure everything is organized and tidy and put away for the next year.
So it's a massive commit. and as Biggie says to all the ladies in the place with style and grace, listen, show up as you and be who you are. I had to ask for help this time when we were preparing for it because I was sick, I wasn't feeling well. I didn't feel very graceful. I didn't feel like I had style.
But the truth is I was able to find a way to lean on my friend. It's always a reason to have a co-chair. So if you're trying to decide if you should volunteer, ask for. Be there with someone else. Go through it together so you can help each other. You don't have to be a one woman show. You don't have to be, and it's a lot more fun when you've got a partner who you really love.
So find somebody that you click with. Find someone who's passionate about whatever it is that you are into to do this. Now if you are in a season where Chrissy and I now find ourselves where we really need to be there to be there to support our kids, to be there, to run our businesses, she is a restaurant owner.
Uh, she is a wife to someone who is in that business as well. And we have other responsibilities. As you know, I'm a professional organizer. I'm a speaker. I go into people's homes and I help them organize. I show up on stages to talk about how we can do this in three. Depths, and these are demands right now that are greater than they were years ago when I started doing this volunteer position.
So if you're at a place right now where you feel like, gosh, I love what I'm doing, but I think it might be time that I say goodbye, whether that's. You know, resigning for a little while, fully retirement and saying Goodbye, I'm done with this forever, and passing the torch. Maybe you wanna temporarily pass the torch and then you can show up as a volunteer later when someone else is doing the bigger roles of chairing this for whatever organization or charity you're doing.
I mean, maybe it's time for you to take a look. Possibly while you are serving, and this is a great thing, maybe it's time for you to dial it back a little because your priorities have changed. Your needs have changed, and that's okay. And listen, if Biggie and nineties hip hop is not your jam, I'll quote some Kenny Rogers.
We'll, you know, this southern girl has got some country music background as. With music. I don't know what's with me today, but this popped into my head. I mean, listen. Know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run. And we kind of felt like at this point maybe it's time to walk away.
Maybe it's time to run. The run part comes in, because when we announced that this was going to be our last year to be running this, and I think this was like my sixth year when we decided we were gonna walk away, I then was approached by , someone saying, oh, this is so wonderful because now you can help with gala in the.
In the springs, and I was like, oh, I think this is the moment when Kim would say no one to run. So I said, okay, listen, I'm gonna tell you with Style and Grace, you know, like those models that walk down the runway, the ones who walk perfectly, who don't have super uncomfortable shoes, and. They're walking down, they look like Gazelle on the runway.
Wonderful. It's really those models that trip and fall and somehow have to gracefully get back up and pull themselves together. They're the ones with style. Okay, so again, we're not looking for perfection here. We're looking for how you recover. So this was my moment. This was my moment to say, absolutely.
I would love to take on gala next year. This was my moment to say I am in a season where I cannot agree to do something this big at this time, and I will probably come back and I will probably help volunteer, but I don't think that I can chair another thing. So I took this opportunity and I said to my dear friend, Listen, it makes me a little nervous.
While I would love it, I just don't know if I can commit to that because I'm leaving this position, which I absolutely love because in the words of my very, very wise, mom, mom, I know you're listening. Leave the party when you're having fun. Don't wait until you are really far into it that it's not fun anymore and, and it gets stressful and it gets frustrating.
So much so that you don't enjoy it if you're serving in your community, in your church, in your home, if you're serving in different ways and there are things that are happening that are making it not fun anymore, that's the. To ask for help. That's the time to say, this is a season when I need more help than I ever did before.
And if there was something that you used to volunteer for in the past and show up in a big way, even if you were like the mom at home who used to throw these massive parties for your kids, for their birthdays or perhaps huge holiday parties. Listen, I'm speaking to you. If this is coming up right now before the holiday season.
And you just feel like this is not the season that you can commit to doing it. Do it on a smaller scale. On the last couple of episodes, when I talked about the parties that I was throwing, don't underestimate a small, intimate party. You don't have to go so huge. And sometimes you can say I'm leaving the party when I'm having fun.
It's a good time now. I don't know that it's going to be that way in the future, and I need to step back and take a break. And this is a great opportunity for other people to shine in this role. Don't be afraid to tell them everything that you've learned so that they can have success in it as well.
Don't have anything in your head that's like kind of icky or gross and be like, well, I wanna be known as the person who did this the best. Don't do that. Serve the next person who's coming up. Tell them all the things that you've learned and allow them to do it in their style. Doesn't have to look like the way you did it all the years in the.
It could end up being so cool for them. Nobody is like you. Nobody can show up the way that you do, so you don't have to worry that somebody's gonna take over and be like, oh, they're doing it way better than you did. No. Do what you do with style and grace. Not perfectly, but with style and grace, authentically in your style.
And then pass the torch to somebody else. If that's the season that you're in, don't feel that pressure, don't feel that guilt to have to carry it over and over again. Ask for help. It. Life will go on without you. I talked about this when I got sick and I realized asking for help. You know what? Everything that I was stressed out about and making sure, you know, like the laundry and the kids doing, eating healthy foods and, and making sure the homework got done and doing the dishes and do all these different things that I wanted to make sure were gonna happen, they all still got done.
Might not look exactly the way I would do it. It all still got done. Life goes on without us. Don't let that make you feel like totally. What's the word? Ashamed or, or like what? It's, I don't have the word for it, so I just have a sound. What? No, don't gasp at that. That is wonderful. Okay. Especially if it comes to your kids, like we are creating independent human beings, so how wonderful if life goes on.
When you're sick, okay? We want that, uh, we want dad and friends to step up and help out when we can't do stuff so that we know that life is going to continue to go on without us having to put massive pressure on ourselves to do everything, to be everything to all people at all. Don't do that. That is not going to look like you having style and grace that is gonna look like you overloaded and stressed and frustration popping up, creeping in all the time, and maybe snapping at people because you're feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling stressed, so you're not getting to show up in the best way you can leave when you're having fun.
If you feel like this is the time to pass the torch, I am giving you that permission might not be easy. You might wanna hold onto the reigns with a death grip, but just know that if you are closing a chapter in your life, even if it's just temporarily, you might open yourself up to other opportunities that are so incredible.
I believe that God has a plan for us and he has blessings. He is just waiting to shower upon us if we will allow that in our lives. Don't hold on like a human, like of the flesh. Don't hold on in that way so tightly that you don't allow God to bless you in the many ways that he has in mind. Okay, so hopefully if you have felt stressed about volunteering and had all the guilt that comes along with that, I hope that this episode has reminded you that it's.
To say goodbye forever. It's okay to pass the torch. It's okay to do that temporarily and come back when the season has changed. Make sure you're prioritizing what's important to you in your life and show up with style and grace. And that doesn't mean you have to be perfect. That just means you need to show up as authentically you as possible, and I can assure you that if you really truly just have a heart to serve, people are going to love whatever you're able to give.
Don't feel pressure to give too much. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being supportive of me on this podcast. I love doing this so much. I love thinking about what I'm gonna hop on and talk about next based on things that are happening in my life, and I certainly hope that it's helpful for you.
Have an amazing day, enjoy some changing weather, and whatever season is coming up for you in this life. Enjoy it. Don't put extra pressure on yourself, and I will talk to you next. For some more organization motivation and looking forward to the holidays to come. Bye. Thanks for listening to another episode of the Mom's Organization Motivation Podcast.
For more resources to organize and style your busy life, head over to everything with style.com and connect with me on Instagram at everything with Style. Mom, if this episode was helpful for you, please share it with your friends. Write and review it on it. That's Apple Podcast now and let me know what you'd like to hear about next.
Thanks again for listening and happy organizing.