(upbeat music) - Hey, and welcome to the Mindful Balance Podcast, your guide to stop emotional eating and overeating and transform your relationship with food. I am Rachel, a nutrition and emotional eating coach, and I'm here to help women like you navigate through the complex world of eating habits, health, mindset, and emotional wellbeing.
(upbeat music) I hope that each episode here will be a step on your journey towards a healthier you by shedding light on different aspects of nutrition and emotional eating. I am here to take out the overwhelm or the need for quick fixes by showing you how it can be done differently. Whether you are just starting out or looking to deepen your understanding, you're in the right place. And if you're ready, let's dive in. (upbeat music) Hey, and welcome back to the podcast.
Today, we're talking about navigating social events and weekends, or really any situation where you feel like eating something that you didn't plan on eating, or maybe just have this impulse to go eat something. If you have ever found yourself at a birthday party, let's say with a plate in one hand and caught between wanting to enjoy the moment, but also having these nagging thoughts of should I really be eating this?
I don't know if I should or I shouldn't, this is so bad, then this episode is for you. Just last week, a client shared with me that she feels like she is walking this tightrope every time she is at a social event. It's that feeling of being drawn towards, let's say the buffet and a voice inside that tells you that you are going to mess it up again.
Since this is such a common problem, today we're not just going to address this internal conflict, but we are also going to find ways to work through it. So let me just give you a few examples for situations that I'm talking about. Let's say that you are at work and a co-worker offers you to share a treat with her, or maybe you are out and you're on a walk or you drive by your favorite drive-thru and you hear this voice that tells you, let's go eat.
Maybe you had a long day and you're watching TV, you had dinner, you are full, but there is something in you that tells you that you should go have, let's say a piece of cake. Or maybe you have already prepared a meal for yourself with a lot of intentions, but all of a sudden you don't feel like eating that food and you want something else. Or you are out with your partner and they say, let's have dessert. And you are not sure whether or not you want to have another thing right now after dinner.
So our focus today is going to be two simple questions that you can ask yourself before you eat. And I will share these questions with you in a moment because these questions are going to be your guide through this maze of choices. Because remember that our goal is to allow you to have satisfaction with food without regret.
And again, these are questions that you can apply whenever you are at dinner parties, date nights, work events, vacations, and even when you are just by yourself at home and you feel like eating something that you are not sure whether or not it's the right choice for you. A lot of times, some of the thoughts that come with this impulse are things like, I will start over on Monday. Or one night of fun won't make all the difference.
Maybe for you it sounds like it's not fair that they can have it and I can't have it. Or something along the lines of, I deserve this. Or it won't really matter. Or I can't say no to whatever food is available to you. Or that you think that you are not strong enough. Whether one of these thoughts resonate with you or maybe even all of them, it all comes down to the same thing. So for many of us, we get to making these food decisions with some pre-mindset of excitement and apprehension.
You walk around with some kind of predictions and thoughts about yourself and about food. And it made me think about the famous say in theater called Chekhov's gun. It says that if in act one, you have a pistol hanging on the wall, then it must be fired in the last act. It basically means that if an element is planted at the beginning, you know that it will show up later. And that's the same with guilt.
If you are already negotiating with yourself, day in and day out before you even left the house, let's say, you know that it's coming back to hit you. So this is what we're going to do. We're going to first recognize these thoughts that you have for what they are, because that is the key to changing the narrative. They can be there, your thoughts about what you can and can do or how you normally respond to food, but they're not going to dictate how you act. So that's the first before part.
But what do you do when you are in that dinner party specifically, or you're in a date night with your partner, and now you have to make a decision whether or not you want to eat something. So I'm going to give you the two questions that will help you make the decision, and it will make it easy to make the decisions. These two powerful questions can practically transform your relationship with food during any situation. The first question to ask is, is this what I really want?
It sounds super simple, but it invites you to pause, connect with yourself and to truly consider what it is that you want right now. So often, especially like if we're in a big event, the food is kind of just okay. It's nothing special. Is what you are about to eat really what you want? You have two choices here. If it's a yes, it is what you want, then go for it. And I'm giving you the permission slip. You can think about it.
You can think about me and know that if it is what you want right now, you have the permission to eat. But it may be a no. You may ask that question and the answer may be no. And you will be surprised, but when you get good at only eating food that you love, it is actually easy to say no to food that you feel, let's say, indifference about, right? You don't even need to hate it. But a lot of times, we just don't really care for what we're eating.
Then you come to the second question, which is, is it worth it? And this is not about assigning value based on calories. It is more about assessing the worth of this choice in the context of your overall day or your week. You are trying to understand whether or not the choice that you are about to make will bring you joy 100%, or will it lead to feeling regret later? You weigh this immediate pleasure against your longer term goals and values.
By practicing these two questions, again, the first one is, is this what I really want? And the second one is, is it worth it? When you practice these questions, you start to build a deeper connection with your food choices.
And more importantly, really, with yourself, because it is about cultivating a relationship with food that's based on respect and intention, because you are in the driver's seat, and you are not someone who checked out mentally and don't even know what you ate or what it tasted like. Okay? You are going to ask these questions, and there are a few options for you to choose from when you decide on your answer. So let me give you a few common ones that you may wanna use. So these are your options.
You ask these two questions, and then you can, number one, decide that it is completely worth it for you, and you are going to enjoy it, you're going to enjoy the food, and you're gonna move on with your day. And I can't emphasize the importance of moving on part. Otherwise, you're back at your old habits of eating and feeling guilty, and eating and feeling regret. The second option that you have, you are going to eat something that is aligned with your plan.
So for example, you are going to eat one treat because you normally eat one treat a day, let's say, and you're going to enjoy the heck out of it. That means that you're gonna sit down, you're gonna put your food on a plate, and you are going to thoroughly enjoy it, and it is still going to be aligned with what you were planning on eating. And the third option is you are going to decide that eating off plan is just not worth it, and you are going to do something else to make yourself feel better.
And you are gonna have no drama about it. You are not gonna tell yourself that it's not fair. It is about making decisions, not fairness, okay? When you do that, when you ask these questions, and then you either decide it's a yes, it's a maybe, or it's a completely no, you start to build a deeper connection with your food choices, and more importantly, again, you build that trust with yourself.
You are going to start believing that you are someone who can make decisions that work for you from a place of love and respect. So now I feel that there is one last piece that we need to clarify here, and that is the meaning of giving yourself permission. What does it mean? I know that this concept can feel very, very uncomfortable if you are in the business of constantly saying no to yourself all the time, which we know it doesn't work.
You can say no to yourself, and you can say you can't have it, but ultimately you are going to do it. But the idea of actually intentionally giving yourself permission to eat can feel to so many of you too permissive, or it makes you think that you will just go crazy and eat all the things all the time. So if this is you, I want you to think about it this way. Giving yourself permission to say yes is an act of radical self-care.
It is about saying yes to what serves you, but this is super important, it is also permission to say no to what doesn't serve you. When you give yourself permission to enjoy a piece of cake or a glass of wine or a snack, you're doing so from a place of choice, not compulsion. It's a conscious decision from a place of autonomy and a commitment to honoring your needs and your desires and letting go of things that you don't necessarily care for.
Saying no and setting that boundary for yourself is also an act of self-respect because you are prioritizing your long-term wellness over a five-minute pleasure. This is so different energetically than telling yourself that you can't have something because it's bad. It's more like, no, I am choosing not to eat something because it's not worth it for me right now. Now, this is what it looks like.
Imagine if you're standing at a buffet, there are lots of dishes in front of you, lots of delicious foods, and you look at the options and you check in with yourself and you ask, is this really what I want? Is it worth it? And then with that clarity and the confidence, I want you to make the choices that are right for you. Whatever that choice may be, you have made it with intention and with permission to choose what's best for you at that moment.
You do it and you do it again and again because this takes practice until it becomes a second nature. Okay, I know that it is a lot to take in. So I'm going to quickly recap this concept. We talked about pausing to ask yourself two questions. Is this what I really want? Is it worth it? And the practice of making decisions with intention and self-respect.
Now, when you approach your next social event or your next weekend, I want you to see it as an opportunity to practice mindfulness and connecting with what you want and make choices that honor you. And if you find yourself facing challenges or slipping into old patterns, that's not a problem. The only problem is giving up. Okay, this is what I have for you today. Until next time, and please, please remember, you are in control of your journey. You're in control of your choices.
All right, take care, bye-bye. Thank you for listening to the Mindful Balance Podcast today. I hope you enjoyed our conversation and found inspiration to find your unique balance and growth. If you found value in this episode and feel inspired to make a change, I would love for you to subscribe to my show. Subscribing means that you won't miss out on any future episodes designed to help you create a positive relationship with your body and with food.
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You can find me @rachelemmanutrition. That is one word where I share daily nuggets of wisdom to help you reach your goals with ease. Until next time, take care, bye. Thank you for listening to the Mindful Balance. The Mindful Balance is brought to you by Rachel Emma Nutrition, our editing and mixing engineers, Michael Plawner. Our theme song is "Good Feelings" by Vogue Duessens.
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