😪 Vulnerable Ep. My fear of success and how I move through it 🤍

mindset and business mentor. And my mission is to teach the things we were never taught at school, so that no dream is left on the pillow and no purpose left unfulfilled. Here you can expect a lot of laughs and thought provoking conversation as we squeezed every drop of juice from this beautiful, precious, crazy thing called life. Hello, how you doing? Hello? Good. How are you? I'm good. How's your week been? Fantastic. I feel like we've actually officially finished the rebrand.

We're done. Well, I mean, there's a few little bits in the background, but we're done. We're done with the with the tech stuff. Websites are Oh boy. Happy days. I'm proud of you nearly killed me. I'm happy for you. I'm happy for us. We got there we go there. Oh, okay. So I'm gonna let's go into our winner of the week before we get into this episode, because otherwise I'll keep distracting us because you're trying to procrastinate, and you know exactly why I don't want to get

into this episode. But we're gonna, because it's scary. And that's why I'm doing it. But tell me about a win. What's your win this week? So the win this week for me is not directly related to me. Well, she is directly related to me. But it's Lola. He's getting a merit certificate. It's called isn't. It's so cute. She knows about it. Already really proud. She doesn't know what it's about. We don't know what it's about surprise. But she's already told me how she wants me to do her hair. She's very

excited. Yes, very excited. vibes are high in the house at the moment. So yeah, that's Friday morning at assembly. I'll be the proud mom like whooping and hollering. I've heard it before when you've sent videos. You're the parent at the back like where she's not drinking. She's just excited. And she's proud as punched. She's not embarrassed of that shit. Yes. Oh, I need to embrace it. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, what's yours? What's your when? My when is that I at the time of

recording. I'm well, I'm going to Bali on Monday. So by the time this episode is out, I'm probably in Bali. But my win for right now is that all my bikinis have come I'm getting ready to pack and I'm just ready to go sit by a pool. You're in holiday mode. Well, not really holiday mode. You're still gonna you know, just in a different context. Yeah. And Sunny and Bali so much. I haven't been for like four years. Oh my god. COVID Oh, Thailand. I was thinking yeah, I went to Thailand in January.

But yeah, awesome. Excited to be back. Very exciting. Okay, so I'm going to lead us into this episode, because if I leave it up to you, we're never gonna get their distraction. Oh, this is a bit of a celebration. A celebration of you of your huge achievements in business this year in particular. And we're going to talk about it because that's fucking scary to you. You're a little bit frightened. And we're gonna dive into that a

little bit. Okay, let's so let's you tell me tell me the wins you actually it's so funny because I don't think you would know all of them intricately I guess you do to some extent but not at a high level Yeah, yeah. My level I've seen some emails and things like that but I don't delve into your accounts and shit. I don't know what's happening go shopping. Yeah, well, it's and I guess it I went home the other day because we recorded recess and or was it recess? It

was episode we recorded. And in the last episode, I said to you how I'd my coaches had mentioned to me that like, I've done this little thing where I like don't really want to celebrate my things. I don't bring them in. I don't really own things with a lot of like, you know, I don't bring it in to be honest. And I noticed this pattern and now it's like I said in a post and like I said to you yesterday it's one thing to see the blind

spot reflected back to you. But the next thing is to do the scary thing in in response to it. You say it to face it to do the scary thing and to actually start doing the things that feel edgy and to me, I can celebrate myself behind the scenes I do I celebrate myself and Paul usually is like Yeah, yeah Oh, gee laid out. Yeah, go. Really

cool. But when it comes to publicly celebrating myself, I usually would rather just celebrate others and doesn't, it's actually not going to work anymore, the more I want to inspire people and show people what's possible, it just cannot happen. And so I've got to do the scary thing with every new level, I actually have to celebrate myself. Because I know there's people listening to this. I know, there's people who have watched me build my business from the start, like

from three years ago. And, and it's actually I know that there's people I follow, and I love watching them grow and evolve. And it's like, I would love to be able to share that from a place of like, it's possible for everyone. And I'm only just getting started. I'm and I'm no spet. Like, yes, I'm special. I believe that I'm a special person, but I'm no different to anyone else, like,

so I do need to share it. And I do need to get out of my own little fear thing of like, oh, gosh, this feels a bit scary. And just just letting people know that it's possible. And it's interesting, because you touched on it just before you teach this. Yeah. Like you celebrate the absolute living shit out of your clients. Yeah. When they're reaching milestones, no matter how big or small. Yeah, it's in your emails to people. It's, you know, it's part of who you are.

And it's, yeah, just so interesting that when it comes to you, you still want to keep it Yeah, that little like, that's fine. Do it. Okay. Yeah, it's so interesting. And I'm aware of it too, like I'm so it's a huge part like I speak to clients and I teach this is such a huge part of growth is to actually acknowledge how far you've come and to look back.

And, and there is a piece to I want to be clear, like, I don't want people to get good at celebrating so that they need to be validated by other people so that they need that celebration from external sources to keep going. And because I don't need it, I actually can just keep going on my own and keep it to

myself. But I think that actually does rob people of like, robs me of being able to, like stand in my power, which is the actual, the actual growth for me is, it's not about celebrating these milestones. It's about standing in power and being like, oh, no, I did that. And it's okay if people miss, you know, make a misrepresentation about what that means. Yeah, like you don't, that's not your responsibility. Yeah, I can understand where it's coming from. But it's getting to the

point of doing it anyway. Yeah. Which is the whole point of this is feeling all the feelings about it. Doing it anyway. But yeah, that's the growth point. Yeah. And that's what I've always done. And now it just feels bigger than when I've had to do it before. Okay, so why does it feel bigger? Because it's obviously, like, I've seen it in you. And I can see you squirming now. Like, you are uncomfortable. Yeah, it feels different. Yeah. So why tell us why, why does it feel different this time?

Because I think the milestones that I've hit, and I've just want to be I'm going to be transparent, because it's the only way I realised, probably a month or so ago, probably a couple months before actually, that this, I had already more than doubled my goal for the year. And the business has cleared $400,000 this financial year. We like so crazy. It is

really crazy. And I had it's so funny, because when I started my business, I was like, I remember my first mentor was like, How much money do you want to make? And I was like, rude. Talk about money. That's so weird. I'm not mining all my stories. This was three four years ago now. But all my money worries it. Yep, money mindset shift came up and back then I was like, I'm not greedy. I'm not materialistic. I don't need money. Lalala all that shit. I've worked through

that. I've worked through that. And but he was like, yes, cool. What's the number? And I was like, Fuck, this is weird. I don't know. And at that point, I was working in a promotional role as it's like, in the, in my school. And so I already hit what I thought was like, I'm making bank man. I've made it I was like, Fuck, yeah, like, I'm making more than my dad. And to me, it was like, Whoa, crazy. Like he's always been. It might. He's my role model, my idol. And I was like, I think I've made

more than dad this year. Like, I've made it. Yeah. And so I was being a bit cheeky to him. And I was like, Well, I want to make double plus some like that I do now just cause and it fell out of reach, felt so out of reach. I was like, I want to make more double than what I did as a teacher. Plus some, but I want to also, you know, have holidays and impact and all of these things. So my goal that I'd written down for years and years and years was like, 250 That's

what I thought. I don't know why it was a weird number that just came into my head. Yeah. And it was kind of like, well, yeah, 100 200 that's like, you know, people who have made that money. You kind of like it doesn't feel that crazy. Yeah. In my paradigm, yeah. achievable. I felt like point Yeah, and I No, you know, a lot of my mates work on the mines, a lot of my mates or traders on the mines. And it's like, yeah, that's pretty normal. That's pretty cool. Like we're all somewhat,

that's relatable. I think that's the piece where it's starting to feel really fucking uncomfortable for me, because I'm like, well, that's relatable. Some of my family, some of my friends would be like, Yeah, that makes sense. But when you start going into like, half a mil moving into, like, now, my coach, my mentor, and I were moving into bigger figures that I never, I don't have people in my world in my background in my life where that

was normal nor relatable. So I was like, the fear that was coming up and why it was feeling scary this time to say is like, I don't know it. I don't really besides my mentors, and like maybe one of my mates. I don't actually know anyone who's like, oh, yeah, like everyone has a bit of a like, it's a startle. Yes. Yeah. Which is, again, like, I'm aware that like, that's not my problem. Yeah. But it did feel like oh, this is actually now potentially unrelatable. Yeah, I'm out on my

own here. Yeah. And that has always been in the past. That was the pattern of like, I'll get to a certain level of success. But then if I get too successful, there's repercussions. There's like you, we want you to do well, but not too well. And that was like a pattern in my past that I had brought with me. And it wasn't until I realised I'd hit this milestone where I was like, this is where this could come up again. Yeah, if I don't squash it right now. And so this is me

doing that. So that was the one milestone which I was like, Whoa, this is really cool. Like, we're moving into some pretty cool figures that feel awesome. And like, wow, that's cool. And that's yes, I guess I think that I can celebrate what it's allowed was actually the milestones that I was excited about. Totally. What it means what it means. Yeah, like, and you know, better than anyone for the last year, like you've only worked with me for a year. Yep.

Just over a year. When. So last year, my business did 100,000. And you came on doing like, five or 10 hours? Yeah, I think we started at five. And when I moved up to 10. Pretty quick. Yeah. And then really quickly, it was like, What do you want? Yeah, well, I want to work full time for you and was like, cool, because I want you to work full time. Let me add, like, let me go make this plan. Let, and I had all these things like, and then I had, I needed more

support. And so like, one of the milestones that just feels so good for me is that like I've been able to, and we're moving into turning you into the full time role that you wanted from the beginning, totally. And I'm like, Oh, I've been able to do that. And I love that. So that was actually a milestone that meant so much to me, because I know it means something to you. I love working with you. I love having you in my business. I

love the support that I feel. So there's been a lot of things that have come underneath that core sort of goal outcome. And so many other things that have come underneath it, like little milestones along the way that feel really cool. Oh, 100%. And you mentioned it just before, I think it's so important for people to understand that this is not something that just appeared out of thin air and there was a huge why, whew, there were so many elements sort of that played

into the setting of this goal. I think that's important for people to understand that you've worked really fucking hard towards. Yeah, and you deserve to celebrate it. So congratulations. I'll give you some little claps. Okay, so going forward, then, obviously, you've hit this goal. As we know this doesn't mean we stop. You know, it's not a case of sick I made a Let's call it quits. No, go have some champers. And I'm

fucking out. Yeah, in terms of moving forward now from this now that you know that you've hit this milestone. Yeah, just, it's so interesting, because I feel like it I'm not the same person at all. And I'm exactly the same person at all. It's

that whole. It's the duality of like, to some extent, I had to become someone completely different to be able to be the person to create this like, and a lot of that has been like you've seen it, we've had conversations that have made me like we have so deep and

vulnerable. And I've had to we've had conversations that I the old me would have ran from like, nope, and the old me would never have even, like really resonated as like a leader or someone who can provide for somebody else like, but that required me to start to actually own that leadership piece of myself and live my life that way and invest in myself with trust,

like I've spent. And that's the other thing like, it does come with being somebody who just trusts themselves 100% And just backs themselves and like, yes, it might sound cool, I've made $400,000 In the last year, I've dropped over 100 on mentorship and training and coaching and knowing myself better and clearer. Hang up all these tiny little pieces like me right now doing the things that feel edgy

and scary. I've been doing that so much for the last year, to the point where on one level, it's like, I feel like I'm a completely different person. Because my communication has gotten so much better. I don't run away from tough conversations, I run into them, I do things that push me to my edge a lot more. And I'm not this little girl that wants to run away and hide from conflict,

which I probably was. But then at the same, like on the same note, I'm still the same person, like nothing's changed in that regard. Like we were saying on last week, last episode, I still had to be forced to go buy a fucking car, I wanted to drop all my money on like, buying

bikes and chains and chains. I'm still the same, I'm the same, and my soul like has been amplified by the freedom that money can give, I'm able to be more generous with you, I'm able to be more generous with clients, I'm able to take my brother to Sydney because he wants to, like get interested in Tony Robbins and personal development and like, being able to get my teeth done, like all these things that I've wanted, for a long time, have been able to express parts of me that were

always there. And so I'm the same, and I'm completely different, if that makes sense. Yeah, you have to be different to create something different. Totally. It kind of just magnifies the type of person that you already are. It's almost the same as I see it the same as drinking, right? When you see people cut like I had a lot to you about this last week, because drunk man does a loves to have a bit of a death. Love to be in the karaoke. Yeah. Anytime I have that.

And I was like, because I think that's actually who you are like, and it's actually alcohol. I think alcohol and money are very similar. It brings out the pieces of us that we've repressed. Yeah, they're buried deep down. Yeah, I'm like, Australian Idol. We know deep down in my. And she comes out. She does come out when I'm alone in the car as American Idol winner or whatever. Yeah, she's there when I'm alone in the car, or when I've had a few drinks?

Yeah. And I reckon that's actually like, maybe when you're not drinking, there's a piece of the conscious mind that's like, you know, you we've got our consciousness there. So we can't be as free and inhibited. Yeah, of course, I think I think alcohol and money have really similar sorts of things where it's like, you didn't just become that because you were drunk. You are that and you suppress it.

Yeah, that's so true. And so I suppose reaching this milestone now in your business, it is allowing you to do all of these things that you've always wanted to do. It's giving you more freedom. And it's so interesting, I was having a conversation with someone recently about money. And you know, you hear this money

doesn't give you happiness. But it can provide that feeling of freedom and safety air, just bringing your nervous system to a level where it's one less thing that you have to stress real, I heard a person I think it was Harv Eker. He said, that's always a statement by people who don't have money, but money won't make you happy. And it's like, but has been poor ever made you happy? I feel like money has amplified the piece of me that was already there that wants to go and explore the

world more. And like, you know, I'm going to Europe again, we're going site like there's all these things. I've always always that. Yep. And I've always done it anyway. But creating being the person and that's what I'm proud of. I don't care about numbers on a screen. I mean, it's cool. Yeah. And I love it. Like, it is great. But I care about what it represents and who I had to become to get there because I've had to do so many things that scare me. And you've nailed it. You have you've really

nailed it. Well, I'm proud of you. Thank you. And like when I spoke to Lael actually laid stone, she was like, so we're gonna need about two mil to start a school and I was like, Cool. Just getting started. I'm gonna have to do so many more scary things new a one. Yeah, that's fine. That's totally fine. And I think like, even looking at that, like, oh, yeah, the whole conversation around money. It's just so interesting, like, money enables you to do such good

things with the world. And I you know, I think that there's a whole piece there that people don't see as well. Yeah, for sure. And so then getting on to your new goals like new financial year, there's a new opportunity to hit some new targets. I actually I haven't really sat and done like a me and it just got me We're sitting among all of my beautiful, very well cared for plants in here, set for the Federal labour. She's lying. But a little bug just flew into my face. So apologies for that.

Anywho carry on. I've gone through Really interrupted you that new goals, new targets? Yeah. The new goals. It's really interesting. I don't feel like I really set financial goals. And that's the other thing, like, I hit the 400k. But I never like it was literally in the startup phase was like, Yeah, it'd be nice to do 250k I sort of stopped hitting setting financial goals, probably about a year ago. And now I just set more like, it sounds really

silly. But like, my goals are really around like, for example, when I just launched teach, I was like, I really want whoever comes in, I don't care how many people like I don't actually set a target, I really want them to walk away knowing X Y, Zed, and I'm more thinking about like, the energy and how I want to feel doing things like and ultimately that has created I think the byproduct of that, because I in the last year have been like, what do I actually what feels good? What am I

excited about? What do I want the people like, level up? When we started integrating the level at retreats? It was like I want people to actually feel seen and heard and belong and have friends and and connection and I was going leading the whole business out of like, how do I want to feel? What impact do I want to leave for my clients? And leading with that, and ultimately, that grew the business in a monetary sense. But moving forward, it's the same thing on a bigger scale.

It's like, how do I want to feel in my business? I'm looking at also how do I want my life to look if I go down the path of motherhood? Like how do I want your like our life meaning magical, and I like we're a two man show right now. What's it going to look like moving forward? Like it's coming from a perspective of how I want to feel and what I want to continue as I continue evolving? What I want to teach people, so I'm just coming at it from a different lens.

That's, that's so important. How can I say this all the time? Well, he has a really strong belief that once you start doing something with the money in mind, it's you're gonna fall off. Yeah, the intentions are wrong, and it doesn't feel good. And it doesn't feel good. If you're doing it from a place of wanting to make a change, and you know, actually achieve something really great. Then the money will come.

Yeah. And I think it's actually really important, especially for people who have businesses, that you're receiving the money in a way that feels good, like, you can do things for money, and it's not going to feel good to receive it. If that's actually like, let's say, for example, I want to make 10 grand this month. So you go and charge a client 10 grand, but you're already like overworked over, yeah, you can make the money, but it's not actually going to

feel good doing it. Yes. So what's the point, I come from the wrong place come from the wrong place. So yeah, moving forward, it's just continuing the goal. And the intention is just to continue to keep growing me like, the evolution of me is actually what I want and what I yearn for. And what I invest all of my money in, is like, like, this whole conversation today is about me doing things that feel

a little bit uncomfortable. So I can evolve, unlock that new level, so to speak, learn things about myself become a more self aware human become more resilient. And because of that, I'm sure money will be a byproduct. But the goal is just like how can I keep unlock unlocking the discomfort in me totally took not just for myself, but to be a leader, like I can't, I can't just walk, I can't talk the talk and not walk

the walk. So if I keep continuing to do that, I just trust that like, the business will take care of itself. Oh, man, that's unreal. And I've said it already so many times. But I'm so proud of you. But I just want to touch on as well, for the people that are listening. Who might be wondering, how is this actually possible? What do you have to say to them? There's it's so interesting, I said this in was it teach or true confidence? I can't

remember which course now. I think it was through confidence. The how questions are awesome, and I'm gonna get there. But I think we need to, we need to upgrade our questions, because so many and so many people do say how like, and I used to do this in the beginning, especially and and we do need to know the how, but underneath the how is the why. Like, because I can give anyone 1000 How Tos of routine a structure a five step process. And it's like, but they'll all work to some extent.

It's like, why are you doing that? And like, what kind of person are you being in the doing? Like, I think that's something that I just want every listener to get really good at starting to like, question or even when when you're observing other people that you look up to, it's not what they're doing. It's why they do it and who they're being when they do it. Like, you probably can tell from this episode that like it's not about what I was doing. It's about the fact that I was

scaring myself the whole time. I was pushing myself I was like, drop, it doesn't feel necessarily great to my nervous system to go and spend $60,000 on a fucking coach when that could be another house deposit. Yep. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, but it's the who you're being But what I will say about, you know, people if you wanting to like grow your business in particular, what I've noticed about or what I've because I'm always reflecting and like, Okay, what, what worked? What

didn't? What created this? What created the results? What do I keep? What do I let go of, I feel like it's actually got to be a combination of mindset and energetics and strategy. And it's got to be a balance, like it has to be a balance, if someone gets way too caught up in strategy, and wants to know these like, like all the like nitty gritty, and they're not taking into consideration, the energetics behind it. Like, that's gonna get really out of

balance really quickly. And I've seen people swing the other way where it's all mindset and going with the energy and the field, just follow the field and trust your intuition. And don't worry about throw the strategy. And I'm just No, it has to be a really nice balance of everything. And I think if you can work on your mindset, your energy, and have a strategy, because if you don't have a strategy, your mindset is going to get all confused, because you feel overwhelmed. You don't know

what you're doing. You're kind of just going with the flow. But then sometimes you actually it gets really confusing. Like what are you aiming for what you're working towards? Yeah. So I think the strategy actually supports the flow. And the strategy allows you to not get overwhelmed and go into that cycle of what the hell am I doing and then the energetics behind it is making sure it's always aligned, and that you're addressing the things that come

up as they come up. And so I would look at like, what's your strategy? What where's your energy? What's your mind? Like? I'd have a do that three pronged approach to like, growing has to be a holistic thing. And business needs to be looked at as a whole human. You can't go just one. Well, I think that's it. I think we're done. Yeah. When I die. Did I do approve of that cool celebration? Yeah. Did we get celebration enough? I don't know. Should have had some champagne.

Champagne, although, I'm trying not to drink so much at the moment. But yeah, well, if there's ever a time to have a little drink, it's to celebrate something like this. We can have a little soda water later, we can have a slow to water. Okay, amazing. Will you have anything else to add? Are you all celebration? Now? I think that's, that's good. For now. I think I've done the thing. I've met myself at my edge. And you've done the scary thing done the scary thing, and I'm just

gonna continue to do it. And yeah, hopefully it does serve as a reminder. Hopefully, it serves as inspiration to people if you're in the startup phase, or you're building or scaling or whatever, like, yeah, hopefully it just serves as like everything is possible with the right I believe everything is possible with the right combination of support, strategy, mindset, tools, all of that, like it can be done 100%. And I think it's also

going to be helpful. Like I mentioned in the last episode, it's helpful for people to know that you go through this, you feel this, you feel the fear. You go through all of these different levels of you unlock it all to and yeah, and it's important for people to realise that so good job. Thanks. Alright, see you next week. Thank you for tuning in to the mind school podcast. It is a massive intention of mine to continue to grow this show, because the more the show grows,

the better the guests get. And I know that he's going to be so powerful for you listening. So if I could ask this massive favour, it would mean the world if you could please leave a review, hit the Follow button or leave a rating on Spotify, so that we can continue to grow this show and bring you the juiciest, most thought provoking and expansive conversations through incredible guests. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll see you next week.