💁‍♀️ "It gets to be easy" - Why this is unhelpful and untrue 🙅‍♀️

backpack for quite some time. So it's pretty haggard, it's worse for wear. And sometimes it just takes a little bit of fiddling. I know I should just really go grab another one. But you know, so I fiddled around with it. And I was like buckets not working again. So I grabbed Paul in, he's come in taking his tools out. He's got the screwdriver. He's like playing around with

the microphone. And then he's just looked at me and looked at the laptop looked at me and looked at the laptop and he's like, you haven't turned the power on or you've connected it through the wrong cord, the power, it's just a power and I was like coo coo and so finally got back to sit down to record and then it wasn't actually for like the actual cord was been funny and same things happen

today. So thinking on my feet, I'm actually recording on my iPhone, using my little Bluetooth speaker and I'm just hoping the quality is good. Cuz I'm about to hit the road and head home for the weekend. Which makes me so excited. I'm so excited for some time in Denmark some time with family just being around cousins and yeah, I'm so pumped. I love this time of year so so much. And on that this time of year being Christmas festive season or my favourite

things. I I'm going to be trying trying really hard to let Paul play Christmas carols on the way down. We had this argument the other day, I was like, What do you mean, you don't like Christmas carols and I started singing Mariah Carey and he's like, Oh, stop, stop. So I'm gonna see if I can just get at least an hour of Christmas carols on the drive down. Just love it love this time of year. And on that we will be doing this is very exciting. I've actually never done it before.

I'm doing a festive season sale. For any of you who are listening, I'd like wanted to dive into any of my master classes, any of my programmes. Even level up like this is big, I haven't done anything to this size before. So it's quite a big sale. And it's only going to be 72 hours. It's big. So it's 50% off a lot of my courses, a lot of my master classes, and $1,000 off level up if you want to join

in the first round for 2024. So it's just like a big festive season excitement celebration thing because I love to get into, I just love it so much. So if you've ever wanted to dive into money mindset, if you've ever wanted to dive into level up, if you've ever wanted to do any of my master classes, or just sort of dip your toe in and see what it's all about, then keep your eyes out at the end of

this week. Because there will be 72 hours of of madness just because I was I noticed that I was I was getting all these texts from like my active wear brands that I love. And I was like, oh, oh my gosh. And I was like oh festive season, I can do sales too. So here we are. We're doing the festive season sale and keep your eyes on that. I want to dive into today's topic, which is it's very interesting.

It's just, I was bringing some awareness and attention to it, I actually had a conversation with one of my clients about this, this particular phrase. And there's a lot of phrases that are just thrown around, especially in the personal development or coaching industry. And sometimes they're great, this one in particular that I want to talk about, it gets to be easy. We've probably heard that so many times. And

it's true to an extent. And then I also want to draw our attention to or bring awareness to when that phrase is very unhelpful, and actually unproductive. So I don't know if you've heard it, there's just it's this. And it also can feel I want to like for anyone listening who's a coach or who has a coach. Sometimes when this phrase is used in the wrong context, it can be very

invalidating. If somebody is having a really difficult time if they're, for example, trying to grow their business and everything's coming up for them, which is so common, you know, growing a business in the beginning, especially it can be very difficult. And there's lots

of challenges. And there's this, like, it almost seems to be like a just the go to for a lot of coaches and I need to like quite honestly, I probably contributed to this in some ways I used to, and it is very much one of my main I do look at business and life as through the lens of, well, if it gets to be easy, what would it look like? Because I'm not trying to make things harder for myself. So I do say it, but I think it's got to be

used in the right frame. And also we want to look at when it's actually really unhelpful and are things meant to be easy. This is something that I've really sat with for a long time. And so when people say oh, it gets to be easy what that can do is invalidate when someone is having a really tough time. If somebody if you're having a tough time and someone goes up and it gets to be if your coach says it gets to be easy, it's like, okay, cool. But what's the actual practical?

What are we doing? How are we moving through this what needs to happen? It's not really putting a plan in place. It's not validating emotions. It's not, it's not necessarily helpful. However, what I will say is to contradict myself, this phrase, it gets to be easy is fucking phenomenal in some instances, particularly for people who have a pattern. And

this might be you. And I'll encourage you just to have a bit of a thing, because I'm talking, if it's you, where you have a habit, and your pattern is actually to make things far more difficult than they need to be. If you have a pattern of making mountains out of molehills, and everything always seems to be quite difficult. It's like, things are harder than they need to be dragging your heels, you're making a big sort of song and dance over something that

probably isn't that big. And if your pattern is to do that, then this can be really helpful just to remind yourself to consistently come back to it gets to be easy, it gets to be easy. And that's more just a reminder to simplify things, and to remind yourself not to

overcomplicate. And so with that frame, this can be a very helpful sort of way to look at things, especially business and a reminder to ourselves that we don't need to make everything difficult if it gets to be and this is what I think it could be changed to to be more helpful. If it got if it was easy, what would it look like? If it was simple might even be a better word? If it was simple? How would it look? If I could do this with the easiest in the easiest way or fashion? How

would that look like? What would that look like? Sorry? So it's in some ways really helpful and a really nice anchor and frame to come back to so that we don't always overcomplicate things. So yes, it can be easy. You can look at things and go, Okay, am I off overcomplicating something? For example, if I have a client who is like, I don't know, I'm just, it's a content thing. I don't know what

to pose. I sit down to post, I've got nothing I want to do at this fancy grid, but it's not looking aesthetic, and then the ASTER, I went to go post it, but it didn't match the aesthetic that I wanted. So I deleted it, and then a lot a lot, and it's like, whoa, whoa, now we're overcomplicating something that's really easy. It's putting something on a canvas slide, and it's putting it out there. Like it really doesn't have to be hard. Yes, it does get to be

easy. It can be as easy as talking about what it is you're selling and putting a link up. We don't need to overcomplicate absolutely everything. So in some ways, it gets to be easy. But where I see this being an issue is that if we believe and we've been consistently fed, because to be easy, it gets to be easy, it gets to be easy.

There's always this underlying or what there can be is an underlying expectation or assumption, that whatever it is that you're building towards, whether it's a business goal, or whatever fitness goal, career goal, it gets to be easy, it gets to be easy, it gets to be easy. If you believe that it's supposed to be easy all the time, if you believe that ease is well how it's meant to be, you are actually going to be really lacking resilience when things are hard. And you've got

to think something is wrong. And you're going to make a massive story out of things when things are hard, and make it that you're wrong. Or it's me, I'm the problem because it's not easy. And that's actually so far from the truth. I think everything that's worth having everything that is, you know, because it's that polarity,

right? Things that are hard, and things that you actually have to sort of struggle through to some extent, and I'm not saying life needs to be a struggle, I'm not saying business needs to be a struggle, but there will be struggle. And that's what makes it so much sweeter. On the other end, if we have the belief that everything's supposed to be easy, we're not going to keep pushing, when things get hard. We're going to stop and be like, fuck, something's wrong. And

that's a problem. I want you to think about everything in your life that has made you feel proud. Everything in your life that you have felt proud of. I bet you when you feel have true sense of pride, it comes off the bat of something that you had to struggle through something that actually felt hard. And yes, the two can coexist. This is the other piece to it. You can be experiencing something that's

challenging. You can be experiencing something that's difficult and still decide that you're going to navigate it with a sense of ease and you're going to navigate it with a sense of it's okay, I've got this I'm not going to make this harder than it needs to be. It's difficult and it's okay. It's difficult and it's okay, it's difficult and it's supposed to be it's

difficult, and that's fine. So the two can coexist, but we don't want or I don't want my clients and I personally don't want a belief or don't want the expectation that everything's supposed supposed to be easy, because I actually want things that feel like a challenge. I want things that feel like a stretch, I want things that push me, because that's actually where my growth is. If it's always easy, I'm simply not challenging myself. If it's always easy, I know I don't get

to feel proud. And that's just the truth. And something on that that I want to speak about is that a lot of us are really chasing a sense of pride, we want to feel like we've accomplished something, we want to feel fulfilment. We want to feel like oh my gosh, that was so fulfilling. What I've found, and this is something that I've noticed, again, I had this conversation with some clients over the last few months, where it's like, we're chasing a sense

of fulfilment, and pride. And it's like, okay, but if you want to feel pride, you actually need to do things that feel hard. And just because it might be hard to other people, and people might project and I want to give an example. I'll give an example of this in a second. Something that might be hard to other people, they will often project that onto you and go, Oh my god, congratulations, you should feel so proud. That's so incredible, blah, blah, blah, because they're projecting from

their own space. That would feel really difficult for me. Well, I'd be really proud if I did that. And what that can do if you're not conscious of the way projections work, is that you'll be like, Oh, shit, why aren't I proud? Why? Why is that? Why don't I feel anything that doesn't feel right. And I used to do this a lot, because, and this I almost sound like a cocky asshole. But this is just the

truth. I remember when I finished my law degree, and a lot of people were like, God, you must be so proud like him. And people would say to my parents shouldn't Shouldn't you must be so proud of her like, and it was all this like projections of people just saying like, Well, I would find that really hard or believing that it's really hard. And I remember thinking, I don't feel proud at all. I don't feel proud at all. It was easy. Like, it wasn't that much of a struggle.

It was not difficult to me. And that's not it's just it i i do really well with like, academic academia is just not that hard to me, especially when I choose subjects that I am good at writing, right, like, you know what I mean? So it wasn't actually hard. For me, it wasn't a huge struggle to granted. I mean, property law nearly fucking killed me didn't love that. But overall, it was just like a fun time. I was partying and travelling, and I blinked and six years had passed. And I

was like, Oh, cool. Got a law degree. And everyone's going, that must have been so hard. You must feel so proud. And I didn't. I didn't feel proud. But that's the issue. It wasn't hard. And so then when I look back, and I go, What things do make me feel really proud. It seems that actually people would not even be like, Wow, good on you. That's huge. You must when I got my scuba diver licence, like when I got my scuba diver ticket. That was one of the greatest sense of pride I had

ever felt. Because it was hard. I nearly dropped out on the first day, I was like, take my money. I can't do this. I'm going to have a fucking panic attack. What the fuck are we doing? This is so unnatural. Oh, my God, oh, my God. And I had to keep showing up to do it. And had to keep like, you know, even though it was so hard, even though it stretched me even though and again, like, I tried to make it as easy as I could within that context. I tried. But it was really fucking hard.

And so I felt so much pride. And so if we, again, look over everything in your life, what things are you proud of? I speak to people who you know, childbirth a lot. Holy shit. I did that. That was so hard. And I did it. And they've got this new sense of Wow. Like, I'm like, I'm incredible. And that, that in even in business, even in business? Am I proud of the things that came easy to me? No. I'm proud of the things that felt like a challenge. I'm proud of the things that actually felt

hard. And so there's a few pieces to this. We don't want things to be easy all the time. We actually don't, when it's a little bit challenging. When it's a little bit outside of our area of comfort, where it's our conference edge, and we keep pushing, and we do things that are hard. That's when on the other side, we actually get to feel all the positive emotions on the other side of it. So it gets to be easy. Yes, you get to look at things from a simple

lens. How could this be simple, you get to hold both energies, you get to have things that are really hard and really challenging and feel like an obstacle, and, and be like, Okay, but how can I make this more easy within this difficult time? It's not about getting rid of hard. I don't think that we want to get rid of hard if we were to do that we would have low emotional resilience. We would never really get to feel a sense of pride and

accomplishment. And we know that the things that are the most challenging are were the most real was one of the most reward is, and we want reward, right? We want that rewarding feeling. So I think this whole it gets to be easy. It gets to be easy. It gets to be easy. Yes, it does. And we don't want it to be all the time. We actually don't, if you're, if you're chasing a sense of accomplishment and pride, and you want that feeling of Holy shit, I did it, then you don't want things to be easy all

the time. In fact, if it is you're not growing, you're not challenging yourself. And that's not the point. So it's just this is really just a big dump on a big, like mental dump on some of the things that I've noticed just phrases that we say, and how sometimes that can contribute to people thinking that they're doing something wrong. Oh, well, it must be me, because this is feeling really

hard. And the truth is, yes, sometimes what you're doing, especially if you're growing a business, or you're trying to do something you've never done before, it is going to feel hard. And that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, it means you're doing something that is outside the zone of comfort, that's where you need to be that's incredible, you can simplify it within that. But also there's nothing wrong with you if it's

feeling hard. And if you've ever had a coach that sort of said that to you in a way that's made you feel like you've been invalidated. Just know that there is nothing wrong if sometimes things feel hard. In fact, that is what's worth praising yourself for. That is what the celebration is for. I'm doing the hard things. And it gets to be simple. And I still get to like, you know, use my mindset tools and come come at this from a very grounded lens,

even when it's hard. I'm appreciative of the lessons, I'm appreciative of the of the hustle and the struggle, you still get to have both. But also there's nothing wrong with you. If you're on a bit of a growth journey, or you're trying to grow a business or you're doing something that you've never done before. It's not meant to be easy the whole time. It's not. It's meant to be hard so that on the other end, you feel fulfilled and proud. And that's

my rant for today. It's something that I've been really noticing in the space, and I just wanted to offer that to anyone who is going through a little bit of a difficult time. Yes, can you look at things more simplistically, but also good on you for letting things be hard, good on you. Good on you for doing the things that are challenging and outside of the comfort zone. So that is all for me. I'm gonna hit the road and get to Alberni and see my cousins and my mom and dad. I'm

so so so excited. And just a reminder that our massive, massive, massive big festive season gift to You is coming very soon and just keep your eyes on my Instagram. That's going to be very, very exciting, and I will see you here next week. Bye.