Hello, welcome back to another episode, there is so much going on, like in my brain. As always, there's so much going on in my brain. But there's so much going on in my life right now. And I just feel like this need to be like, recording like, it's the weirdest thing. I was talking to my mate about it last night and she recently got
married. You probably know, Steph, we were talking last night about the weirdest things that happen the week of your wedding like, yeah, of course, you're in a love, love bubble. Of course, you're like feeling all the feels, and you're getting like me, I've been getting very sentimental already had my little cry this morning. Just going through, I got out my
mom and dad's wedding album. And I was looking through their album and I could see like family, and oh my god, my heart, you know, is just so emotional. And you're reflecting and you're doing your vows, and you're hanging with friends. And there's so much love. And then also like what I've found, and it's it makes sense, right? It's kind of what I teach. But like, I've been on this fucking high,
like this high. But also I've had so much space because you know, I did wind down things for two weeks, like the week leading up to the wedding. And the week after the wedding, there's this real relaxed energy. And that means I've intentionally really created space so that I can go for my beach walks, listen to music, like, have some time to create space, and that you know what has happened there. Like, you know, I wanted to create space first so that I could have
ideas about my vows. And I wanted to create space so that I could really reflect and anchor into this calm, grounded energy that I wanted to bring for the week of the wedding. And like, I've been really intentionally creating space and creating practices, rituals, and like little moments that anchor me into the energy that I wanted to bring. And then the crazy thing happens. And this is what I was talking to staff about. And Paul laughed at me last night because he could hear me on WhatsApp
talking to man's. And I'm like, and then we're going to do this and then we can do this and we're going to and I've literally like there is a new business being birthed literally this week, it's all come about. There is so much exciting stuff happening, like keep your eyes peeled on this podcast, because shit is about to change and get so fucking good. There is a lot shifting and changing in my own business. And when I say my own business, watch this space, because there's about to be a
whole new one. Like, there's all this stuff happening. And I am like riding that wave of like what happens. And this is just a reminder, it's not actually what I'm talking about today. But it's just that little reminder of like, when you create space, and you just give yourself room.
It's crazy what comes in. And I always say it don't I always say like create space for inspiration to come create space for the energy for the droppings, create space for the clarity, create space and don't force don't force don't force because when we force, it's a there's no room, there's literally no room, the energy is really repelling. And this week, it's just really not really seeing this all play out. Like I've created space. I'm in the vibes of love and appreciation
and gratitude. And with that there is so much going on. And so just a reminder, if you need some clarity, if you're waiting for an answer, like if you are working on something and you just don't know how it's going to like play out, give yourself space, go to the beach, listen to music, go for a walk, go for a bike ride, whatever your jam is, Saunas are a great place for me like whatever it is, just know that the answers will come.
But they won't come through forcing they won't come through sitting at your desk and forcing yourself to come up with the answers. That's one thing I know for sure. And so I wanted to get into today's episode, which is actually all about something I've observed. And something that I noticed I work on this with clients. And I hope you can understand throughout this episode, the almost contradictions like it will sound like I'm contradicting myself, but I it's the duality,
right? It's always both, it can always be both. And what I hope what my intention is for this podcast is that you can just take the nuggets and apply them to your reality, apply them and
be like, Oh, this is it. Like it's always about just using these tools and these teachings and these ramblings and these vented like, whatever you want to call it, like take it and and hold it up against your own context, your own paradigm, your own beliefs, your own goals, your own values and ask, hmm, which part fits for me, which part lands which part doesn't? That's what I want. I want like real discernment and self awareness. It's never going to
be prescriptive. And so what I've been noticing and observing and this is my work, right like I do a lot of work with clients around mindset and around limiting beliefs and, and impostor syndrome and all of this crazy stuff perfectionism. Like there's there's so much right over over analysis like over like people pleasing all of
it, all of it. comes out. And sometimes, like there's one half of me there's one half of me and I will always I will always be the person who like demands that my clients really tap into what is on your soul like what is actually yours dream bigger dream outside of your box of expectations release the shackles release what's realistic get rid of it all and really tap into that like if I could have anything if I could have anything like dream fucking big and when I say big, I don't
mean you need glitz and glamour and lights and fame and like bigger what is it? I don't even know how to say it. What's the car called? Bacardi Bugatti a Bugatti is that a car? I don't know. I'm not really into those things like cars. So whatever it is, whatever you're dreaming big, some people that will be and that's fucking beautiful. If your big dream is like, I don't know, fame and fortune and crazy amounts of wealth and you want to have a G Wagen. And I don't know boats and hoes, whatever
your thing is great. But if your thing is not if your thing is a simple country life and living off the land, and you know the simplicity of just waking up and really designing whatever you want out of your day, and a real, like, whatever yours is, is fucking perfect. And I will always tell you that you can create it. I believe that because I believe we're all limitless. I believe we're limitless. And we have a process of unlearning, and unbecoming
hint, look out for my book. My book is called unlearn, I think at this stage. So anyway, it's a process of unlearning and unbecoming and unwinding to really create what it is that we really truly desire, and give ourselves permission, you know, permission all the time to pivot if we want to. So while there's that half, this is the polls, right? I'm always in the do like duality. There's the pole, where I'll be like, yep, you can do it, you can fucking have anything. And I believe in you,
and you can do it. And I have that, you know that that is me as a coach. And I'm noticing a bit of a trend inside of the whole personal development state space. And inside of this whole area, sometimes what we do is, it's like this. It's almost an entitlement, psyche. It's almost like I can have anything, I can be anything, I can do anything. And while I believe that's true, it's like we're bypassing the shit that you need to go through
to get there. It's like, we're bypassing the work that needs to happen. It's like we're bypassing the skills that you actually need to acquire. It's like we're bypassing practice, and mastery, and failing, and being able to sit in all of it like, yes, you can have
everything. And while I believe that's true, I'm not going to be a coach ever that will sit with you and be like chant and for affirmations in the mirror, you can have do be anything, visualise it, fucking write it in your journal, and then don't actually do what is required to create that thing. And I hear so many people like really latch on to like, I have impostor syndrome. Like, I feel this way. And maybe the things that come up is like limiting beliefs. And sometimes, you know, there's all
of it. I've heard clients who are like, I could never do that. I'm not creative. That's a real fucking weird one that I hear all the time. I'm not creative. I'm not good at numbers. I'm not a morning person. I don't have time. All of this stuff, right? I'm not very good at public speaking. I'm not good at speaking in front of a camera. I am not a math person. I'm not a social media person. I'm not this I'm not that. And this kind of piggybacks off last week's
episode. So if you're not, if you didn't listen to last week's episode, please listen to that fucking yet. Please listen to that. And so there's all these limiting beliefs that come to the surface. And sometimes people will feel impostor syndrome and think like, I feel like a fraud. I feel like no matter what I do, it's not
enough. I feel like people are going to eventually realise that I'm a phoney and I don't know what I'm talking about, like, all those symptoms and clusters of like clusters of symptoms that align with imposter syndrome. And while sometimes, it is exactly that it is imposter syndrome. And that means you're gonna feel it no matter what like imposter syndrome actually means even if you are the most expert, masterful person in the room, you're still going to feel like a phoney, right? That is
actually impostor syndrome. And limiting beliefs are just like beliefs that you've held on to actually usually they're just opinions, opinions that you've held on to and created and repeated so many times in your mind that you've believed that they are facts. You've believed that they're facts, right? And sometimes they're limiting beliefs, because they're not actually facts. They're not truth. They're not at all. It's just a false story or a false narrative that we've held on to.
However, sometimes, and this is what I'm seeing, and this is what I'm asking you just to reflect on and really, really use your discernment and ask the question. Is it actually a limiting belief? Is it actually impostor syndrome? Or is it a truth that I need to actually look at? Is it a truth that I need to look at? There is a very, very, very big difference. Because I've been asked this actually on quite a few podcasts when I've been interviewed people, like, how do you deal
with impostor syndrome? And while it kind of, it's really weird. It's like, I don't ever attach myself to any syndrome. I don't attach myself to like, oh, I have impostor syndrome. And for me, while I've definitely experienced, like, moments of like, oh, gosh, I don't know what I'm doing. Oh, gosh, this feels really new. Oh, God, like, Oh, who am I to be doing this? All of that has come up, nine times out of 10. For me, there's actually just a bit of truth to
it. And I don't make that mean, anything except that, ah, I've got some skills that I need to go and acquire. Like, if I've got this pervasive thought that like, I don't think I know enough yet. I don't think I know enough yet. Nine times out of 10. There's actually truth to it. And I have then the decision to make, is this a limiting belief? Is this a false fact? Like, is this a false? Is it actually true that I don't know
enough? Or could I go and do a little bit more study to make myself feel more confident? Could I go and do a different cause? Could I go and practice? Could I go and set myself up for lots of failure, so that I know that over time, I get better, I get better, I get better. And then I feel confident. Like, there's always a bit of truth for me, in my experience, and again, it's just my experience. Usually, there's some truth. And when I really look at the truth, then I've got a plan. I just
make a plan. Okay, what would I need to do in order for this truth, like in order for this belief, or this thought, to dissipate, and then I make a plan, and then it goes, and then all of a sudden, it's gone. Because I do the things I go practice, I whatever it is. And I think that's the point that I'm trying to ram home. It's the duality, right? You can have everything you can be anything,
you can do anything. And if you believe that and just sit and do your affirmations, and like, I can do anything, I am the world's best speaker, I am abundant. I am a millionaire. My business is growing every single day. lalalalalala no amount of affirmations and limiting belief work is ever going to outdo doing the work, doing the work. And I think that's the part that sometimes get gets missed, especially in the spiritual world, like, and you guys know, like, I'm very fucking deep in
that world. Like, my first mentor was Bob Proctor, I spent a year learning the laws of the universe, the power of manifestation, and subconscious reprogramming. That was my introduction. So I'm in it. However, I've seen this sort of trend. And this is something if you listened to the podcast episode with Casey Edwards, where I fucking frothed. I'm still high off that interview, I swear she's coming back, by the
way, guys, coming back. But when she was talking about the chapter in her book about how important it is, to become independent, and have a power perspective, what that really means is that you need to be okay, with failing. And knowing that fail failure is part of success. Rather than going I am perfect, I am amazing, I can do it, I can have everything. It's
like, yeah, you can. And that doesn't mean that there's not going to be hard parts, that doesn't mean that you're not going to fail sometimes, for you to get good at anything, you need to actually be very okay
with sucking. And that takes a certain level of confidence, it takes a certain level of person, it takes a very brave and courageous person to go, I'm going to get good at this through sucking and improving a little bit more and then sucking a bit less and improving and then suck a bit less and then actually feeling like I kind of got this. That is the real thing that creates confidence. You don't get confidence. You don't get confidence from empty
foundations. You don't build a house with an N with an unstable foundation. You just wouldn't. You would build a solid foundation and the foundation is the work that needs to happen. And so while I and I think this is one of my skills, obviously as I've been working, I've been doing this for so many years, I can see when it is a bullshit limiting belief that has no truth to it. And we need to just work on disproving and expelling and transmuting that that whole
belief system. And when there's actually a bit of truth to it, when there's a bit of truth and I am not afraid to say to my clients well, maybe you're right, maybe you're not so good at this right now. And that's fucking awesome. I love the self awareness. What do we need to do to improve? Don't Like, isn't that way more empowering? Isn't that actually what creates real
confidence? Isn't that really what we want with like this is, it all comes back to the growth mindset, it all comes back to knowing that you don't have to be good at everything, you're not perfect. None of us are. And there's always room for improvement. There's nothing that's fixed inside of our skill set. There's nothing that's fixed inside of our personality, you can rebuild and recreate yourself any day you want to.
Anytime you want to completely rebrand your life yourself, every time you want to transform, you can do it, you can do it 100%, you can do it. And that's going to come with some action that's going to come with some stuff that comes to the surface. It might be some, you know, funky thoughts and feelings, it might be feeling like an impostor. And sometimes we just need to ask that question. Like, is it true? Is
it a limiting belief? And actually, there's not really much truth to it, it's just some opinion that I picked up from my bloody, your 10 teacher or some boy who dumped me back in the day? Is it just that or deep down? Do I really know that I'm actually just not, this is not my thing yet. And that is
beautiful. And what is just another last piece to this, I've noticed, especially in the business world, if you're not selling your staff, if you're not selling your staff, it is probably because you haven't really looked deeply or had a coach to be able to come in on your business, and look and get to know you, like really get to know you. This is why long term membership is so great, because a long term coach gets to know you so intimately, and they can see your blind spots. We all
have blind spots. Like all of us. That's exactly why I work with so many different like mentors, coaches Charmin, I always have people to reflect my blind spots. And I'll say like, I'll say to man's I'll say like, what am I not seeing? Because I can't see that you can't see the
forest from the trees. And sometimes having someone to come in and go to actually, like, I know you, I know, you say that you're doing all the things and it feels like you're doing all the things but actually, your copy is just not sure I don't know what you're saying. Like we need to improve your copy. We need to improve your ability to articulate yourself, we need to improve you in front of a camera because honestly, it's sometimes boring, like, Can you handle
that kind of self awareness? Can you handle that kind of feedback and go off? Is there truth to that? Like, Is there truth to that I remember having my first coach, my first business coach be like, I don't know what you're saying, I don't know what you're saying. And I was like, Whoa, like, well, well, well, it's an ego hit. Because here's me who's like, well, I've got a background in communications and
copywriting. And I'm actually like, what, but you have to learn the skill sets of different media, I was used to writing like long form things. So to write concisely, and to learn different types of copy, I had to have someone reflect back and say, This is the skill set, you need to improve. And fast forward three years, it's my favourite thing. I love it. I was very fast learner, because I already you know what I mean? Like, but you need sometimes a
bit of a dose of reality. And sometimes, and that's what I'm going to leave you with, do you need a bit of a real? Is there some reality checks that are needed? When you have these, you know, thoughts and feelings come up that feel a bit disempowering, that feel a bit dark, that feel a bit achy? Is it that there is some truth to it? And if so, what are you going to do about it? Or is it just false? Is it just that said impostor, I'm never like, I know that I'm actually I've got all
the skills. I know that like, is it just the imposter syndrome that you can just be like, Oh, that's just that I'm not giving it energy. It's just that limiting belief. It's just that voice from year 10, where someone said this to me, there is a very, very, very big difference. But I think the power for us is learning to know what the difference is. And only you can only you can tell, like only you can. Well, actually, that's not always true, either. Because sometimes we're so
blind. We're so in it. Like I said, sometimes it actually you do need a third party or an objective. Third Eye who knows very well to be like, Oh, look, I actually don't know. Like if you're seeing things clearly. So even that is an area of discernment. Like do you have the real self honesty, self awareness and ability to see your blind spots? Probably not all the time, because that's why they're blind. That's why their
blind spots. So even that you might decide, oh, shoot, I need someone in looking at this, like, whatever it is. The real takeaway here is a figuring out the difference for you. Like really figuring out and this is all about self awareness. What is it for me? Is it a limiting belief or Is there truth to it? Is it imposter syndrome? Or do I need a reality check? Do I need
a reality check? And maybe would it actually be the best time for me to have someone come in and just shatter my ego and that really is the thing that creates actual confidence. It's actually, we don't get confidence from false false affirmations and from doing absolutely nothing, we get confidence from doing hard things a lot of the time and failing and being okay with it and having someone chips shoot down our ego, and being okay with it and going, that's cool.
Thank you for telling me this, I'm gonna go work on it, I'm going to improve. That's real confidence building. And so that is my episode for today. Again, if you if this lands, and if you're ready to look deep into actually your blind spots, like, if you're ready to go deep into like, whoa, well, why am I not feeling confident? Why are these things coming up? Is it a limiting belief? Is it not? Is it a truth? What do I need to
do? Real like having a real healthy dose of reality, and having a space and a container to hold you in it with one on one, or they're sorry, not one on one, with group coaching and a container to really do it together? Queen competence is absolutely what you need. And like I said, this is the first time I'm running it. And so it's going to be it's never going to be this price point again, next time will be two to three times
the amount. And I'm only saying that because if you're on the fence, I just want you to have that information. Obviously, always, always, always make sure it's fits for you and it feels aligned. If you have any questions DM me, because I'm happy to answer your questions. But I would love to hear your thoughts. I would love to hear how this all lands for you. So let me know tag me share this again, that always means the world because it just helps this
little baby to grow. And there's so much there's so much coming. There's so much coming to this podcast, there's some changes. There's some big big shifts and I cannot wait to bring you along for the ride. So watch this space and I will see you next week. Bye