😣 Frustrated by not getting results fast enough? A trend which needs to be spoken about...🤐

about it. And thank you very, very, very much to so many of you who listened to the show and sent messages saying you know, congratulations and just wishing, wishing me well for last week, which was actually it was two weeks ago. Now what a whirlwind. Like everyone says to you, before you get married, or just try to soak it up, be really present, it's over before you know it. And it's only when you experience it that you're like, Oh, I tried so hard to be present and ground ground in and

soak it all in. But it was just this adrenaline jump dump. And then it was over. And now my wife. And now I feel like I'm officially old. Like, oh, I'm old, and my parents are very impatiently waiting for the next phase, which is so funny. But you can hold your horses, hold your horses, Mom and Dad, I got

shit to do. Anyway, I want to dive straight into today's episode, because I've been really sitting and contemplating and just observing some things that I, you know, I've seen with clients, and just in the online space, and especially for a lot of people who are building businesses or just on any journey of change of transformation, and wanting to you know, create something new.

What I see, and I'm going to point out that there will be of course, many almost contradictions, or it will sound like I'm contradicting myself, but there's always a duality, right? Like, the truth is somewhere in between. And I'll explain what I mean about the contradictions. And you can take with that what you will, I'm sure it will make sense when I get there. But it almost sounds like I'm going to contradict myself, because I'm all about and my clients know this, I'm

all about fast action. Like I don't really sit with an idea for too long. I if I want something I tend to make moves fairly fast. And that always, you know, reminds me of the Nepal, I think it's Napoleon Hill. He said in thinking grow rich, successful people make decisions fast and change their mind very little. And unsuccessful people never make it never make a decision and change their mind very often. And so once I've made a decision, I usually take action really fast, and I'm all about

fast action. I love fast action, I encourage my clients to really take action before they can get in their head and start to you know, all the doubts creep in and all of the overthinking and over analysing and trying to make things perfect before that can even happen. We want to take action. And there's that whole trap of like, once I've got clarity, then I'll take action. And that's backwards thinking because it's it's through the action that we get the clarity, right. And so I love fast

action. I love fast action so much. But what I say in this space and and let's also remember, I believe that you can be and have anything you want. I believe that to my core, I believe we're limitless, I believe there's nothing you can't achieve. However, what I'm seeing is this real frustration when results don't come fast enough. And it might be like there's lots of ways and sneaky little. There's lots of things that I've witnessed, and it's part of our culture, right?

We're very, very instant. We want things instantly we want instant gratification. We don't like to sit in discomfort. We don't like to sit alone with ourselves. We don't want to be unclear for too long. We get frustrated, we want to get to the end goal. We want things now and we want things yesterday like Amazon Prime, I want it today. Like it's that whole like instant gratification culture where many of us and it's like there's also this and I've

spoken about this before. I've also noticed I was laughing to my friend about it this weekend, like almost everyone is is self diagnosing themselves with ADHD because there's this tick tock thing about like, everyone's got ADHD. And when I when I look at the symptoms, I'm like, Well, yeah, most people are feeling those symptoms. It's like scattered nurse and irritability and you want things now and it's hard to focus and it's hard to

concentrate. And it's hard to really sustain things for a long time because we've got this this culture where everything is so instant and we're not often alone with ourselves. We're not sitting in discomfort. We're not sitting in silence. We're not sitting in contemplation. We're not sitting in boredom. We're not sitting in anything that feels icky because we can have things now and what I'm questioning is, and it's just a

question. It's just something I'm contemplating is how does this impact every part of our life, like whether it's a have a relationship. And that means you can't see it with a confrontation or an achiness, before wanting to tap out, you can't be in a relationship long term and really nurture and like devote yourself to uncomfortable conversations and to being better together and to leaning in when he wants to lean out.

Because why would you when you can just go straight back to Tinder or whatever and find the next best thing? Like, how does it impact relationships? How does it impact business when we want instant gratification? And if we can't sit with ourselves in something uncomfortable, it's so easy just to put a controversial post out there and get lots of likes, and have that ego stroked. And you know, if you're building a business, if you want instant gratification, can you really stay with things

in the long term? Like, can you really sit with something when it's not working? Like is it really impacting our ability to stay and to have grit, and to have that staying power, because through this sort of culture and society where everything's instant, and we can't be bored for a second without getting on our phone, and we couldn't possibly sit in boredom without watching something mindlessly, and we're probably not even watching it because we're doing

something else. And we can't even stop at traffic lights without fidgeting. And, you know, we've become really like, uncomfortable with with the nothingness with with not really doing a lot or with not seeing results fast or with not without getting some sort of a go stroke or dopamine hit really, really fast. My question is like, how does this impact our willingness to stay when the going gets tough, and our willingness to continue doing things, even when we're not seeing results?

If we cannot be okay, with nothing like with doing things with no reward, if we can can't be okay, with continuing to take action, even when the results show us that there's been no change, we're going to give up, we're going to feel frustrated, we're gonna start to have this self pity shame of like, I'm doing something wrong. I'm not good enough, I should just give up or this isn't working. How many times I can't tell you how many times I've seen people get

frustrated. It's like, okay, well, I've posted into, I've posted every day for three weeks, and I don't have a client yet. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, three weeks, if you really, truly want to build something sustainable. And if you really, truly want something so badly, three weeks is not going to be enough to make you fall off your perch three weeks is not let's be real, like what have we gotten a little bit entitled, with this whole, everything needs to be now and I

deserve things right now. Even when, when we really when we really get real with ourselves, have we really done the work even when we don't say results. Because the people who actually build something of you know, the people who build something, and have a mission and have this thing on their heart that they're so excited by and this thing that like they're not willing to give up on. The only difference between, you know, their results and your results

is that they kept going. Even when there was no gratification, even when there was no one stroking their ego, even when there was no one rocking up to their master classes, even when there was no clients knocking down their doors. Even when the scales hadn't tipped like this literally impacts every part of your life. How many people have I don't know, gone on a diet and done all the things and after six days or 20 days gone on, there's no shift in the scale,

or I don't feel any different. I might as well just give up and go backwards. It's like, that's such a limited way of thinking. And I really think that what we need to look at is if you're getting frustrated that you're not getting results quick enough, can you use this as an opportunity or an invitation to really strengthen your ability to sit without validation to sit without results and to do the thing anyway? Can you use it as an opportunity to be like, I'm

okay with just comfort. I'm okay with doing things without this external need to be validated. I can keep going because it's the kind of person I am. And because I actually fall in love with the process, rather than the results. And that's the other part. If people are getting frustrated, because they're not getting results. I would encourage you to look at like, are you caught up on results?

Are you caught up on the end game and you've fallen in love with the destination without finding a way to be obsessed with the journey of getting there without finding a way like honest to god? I can't tell you that I've hit some cool milestones. They're awesome. Like they're exciting and I'm proud of myself. But I'm not proud of myself for the milestones. Like, for example, having my biggest cash month in business incredible, like, literally made my whole year salary in one month. That's

incredible. I'm not taking away from that same thing with the podcasts that hit 100, something 1000 downloads, that's really cool not taking away from that. But that actual moment of seeing the numbers in my bank account or seeing the numbers on my podcast statistics that did not do anything that was any were like, it didn't land in any way that made me go, Oh, my God, now I'm happy now I'm successful. I love the journey of growing to that place. I love the journey

of who I've got to become. I love the journey of continuing to sell when you know, I'm not getting any validation or continuing to put podcasts out there in the beginning when there was like fucking six people listening. And it was probably my mom and my Auntie's, like, it's, I'm proud of the end result, because I love who I became in the journey to get there. And on the journey to get there, I had to kind of be someone who would keep going, even when the results weren't

there. And I think that's what's missing. It's like, people are getting really frustrated. And I don't blame them, like I've been there, I understand. But it's, I think if we look at this holistically, and we like, you know, you've heard the quote, how we do anything is how we do how we do anything is how we do everything? Can you sit still with yourself? Can you actually be in silence? Can you actually be in discomfort and lean in? Can you actually not get

results? And keep going? Can you even sit at traffic lights without fidgeting or touching your phone? Can you eat your dinner without having to watch TV? Can you do things with single task focus. And this the reason I'm saying how it's all connected is because we want to really start to give ourselves opportunities to be in the present moment without needing to seek anything outside of ourselves. And that skill set is something that is really hard.

And you actually need to intentionally choose to build on this skill set. In this day and age. When you choose to build on that skill set, it comes across in everything that you're doing. Like if you've got a goal at the gym, or you've got a you know, whether it's to lose some body fat, or whether it's to build your business, it touches everything. If you can't see it, without any external validation, you're gonna get frustrated. And

that's what happens, right? When we can't sit still, and just sit in silence and meditate for 40 minutes, right without getting frustrated. What do we do we go seek validation, we go seek something external, and we won't stick with it, we won't stay

with it. And what I see really successful people doing is staying in the discomfort without getting frustrated that they're not getting a result quickly, because they've learned to really disconnect from that instant gratification, and from external results to give them something internal. We want to start to really get excited by the internal shifts that we can make without having to see something on the external change when you start and then of

course, that's what happens. You create the internal shift, and then the external changes. But can you actually get results if you're always frustrated? And if you think that they need to come really fast and you're not willing to sit with it? Have a look, just just have a look. It's just something that I'm really contemplating because I'm seeing it like, it breaks my heart, it really, really frustrates me and makes me hurt.

When I hear clients say like, I've done it, you know, I've done the things and I'm not saying anything, so maybe I should give up. I've done the things and I'm not seeing results. So maybe it's me, and

I'm not good enough. And it's like, do you really believe if you think of anyone who's achieved great things, if you think of anyone who's made it, like incredible accomplishments, whether it's athletes, Olympians, business owners, entrepreneurs, anyone who you aspire to be anyone who has really created some level of greatness, trust me, has done things for longer than a few weeks or months and then decided to give up like think of an Olympic athlete who trains for four years for one race, which

may or may last one minute, 60 seconds, and they'll train for four years. And they don't see any results. They don't get any gratification. That is what creates real greatness. But you can't do that if you want results so fast and you get frustrated every time you don't see them that you want to give up and you make it mean something about yourself.

Whereas what you really could do is use it as the opportunity to be like this is my opportunity to strengthen my staying power to strengthen my ability to keep showing up even when things aren't showing up as I'd like them to to keep showing up even when I can't say that anything is shifting yet. That is actually what is going to create the results you want. It's not the quick wins. It is the willingness to stay when there are no wins. means the willingness to stay when there

are no wins. And this comes in, you know, every part of your life. Can you keep showing up? Or and this is something we need a bit of a dose of honesty sometimes like, Have I fallen to this, like, has it made me entitled, have I become entitled? Like, have I really and look, if you have this is No, don't go into shame about it, just make it okay, maybe I've become a bit entitled, I'm expecting things

really fast. And if you actually zoom out, it's been maybe six months, or maybe it's been two years, maybe it's been three years, go and speak to people who have achieved great things. And there'll be like, cute, zoom out, let's zoom out on your whole life, it's really not been

long. And if you're going to make all these stories and go to your coaches and go to your mentors, and start making these stories in your head about like, it's not working for me, it's not happening fast enough, I'm frustrated, it's not working lalalala that is actually the problem. That right, there is the problem, it's probably not you, it's probably that you need

some staying power. And maybe you need to practice opportunities as much as you can, to be able to sit in discomfort and to be able to sit in stillness without anything going on. Because that is going to touch everything that you do. And so that that helps is just having that awareness. But also, when you really truly are connected to something that really actually lights you up that makes you passionate that you feel like this pull towards

that you could do for free. Like honestly, I say this to my clients all the time, I literally on my honeymoon did the level up call. And I said to the girls, like there's literally no place I'd rather be like, obviously with Paul, we've been together all day. And I was like bye, I'm gonna teach and level up like, it's my favourite thing I get so excited, I can see a difference in people, I can see a difference not just in the women in there, but what they're doing with their

children. And I can see a difference in how they're showing up differently in their lives and boundaries they're putting in place and there's nothing else I would rather do. And when you've attached your goals or your transformation to something that is that deep within you, you will be willing to stay, you'll be willing to stay without the validation. And you'll also not get so like bogged down in the smaller term

vision. Because you know that this is not just a one year thing, this is not just a six month thing, this is not just a fucking 12 week course that you can do with someone and then expect everything to shift that you know what I mean? Like, you will know that this is bigger than the little bit of time you see in front of you. And you will zoom out and be like I've got all the time in the world to create this because it's bigger

than me, it's my purpose. It's something that I love doing, I'm okay to do it as it is without results, because I know it's going somewhere. And I've got all the time in the world. So I always again, the contradictions, and I hope you can understand the duality and the contradictions, because it's both. It's like, you want to have that mindset too. And I talk about this with clients who want the mindset of like urgency with calm, like calm urgency, as in you move fast, and you move

with a sense of urgency. But you also have this this real sense of peace, knowing that you've got all the time in the world, and you can't run out of time. And you've got all the time. So it's okay, you don't need to put that pressure on yourself. So there's a lot there. And it's all just coming from a whole lot of thinking and really witnessing people just getting frustrated getting so frustrated, I don't have the results, I don't have the results, it's probably not

anything you're doing. It's probably not that you're not good enough, it's probably not that you're not doing all the right things, it's probably just that you've maybe become part of this whole era and culture and paradigm of like it needs to be right now. Or I'm going to get frustrated and bored. And I'm going to make a story up about it. And I'm going to try to look for the next thing that can give me validation. I'm going to just get shiny object syndrome, because what here what's here

isn't working. So how can I pick up my phone and look for something else? How can I start a new business? How could I look for a new person? How could I lean out of this coach and go to the next coach like because we haven't ever really practised the stay the stay in the

discomfort. And that if you are getting frustrated, because you're not seeing results, I asked you to use it as an opportunity to strengthen that part of you that stays when the going gets tough, because they are the people that see long term changes. And also those are the people that create some real self trust and some real self integrity of like I said, I'm going to do something and I'm going to do it no matter what.

It's that no matter what energy, people who are getting frustrated that they're not seeing results, people who are getting really impatient when they're not seeing results. I really do encourage you and I encourage them with clients have you fallen into Have you gotten rid of the energy that is whatever it takes, no matter what, no matter what as soon as you start getting frustrated and look, you're human, you can get frustrated, but don't make it mean anything. Don't sit there

for too long. Just ask yourself, am I still in this energy of no matter what, even when I don't get results even when it feels uncomfortable? Even when I don't have clients even when I'm getting frustrated? I'm doing it no matter what. Have you really got that energy or are you looking for instant fail? validation and therefore, lose sight of your goals give up decide it wasn't worth it change cause change tactic change strategy shop for other things, look for other ways to do it.

And don't actually ever commit to the one thing you said you were going to commit to, just because you never saw results fast enough. Just something to think about. So that's all for me this week. I hope you're having a beautiful start to march and I will see you next week. Bye.