Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, let's see. Let me put my phone on do not disturb, because this next hour is going to be disturbing.
I would just like this flag for the people that are just listening to the show and don't watch this on YouTube or see clips on our I g I forgot what this episode was about. I forgot that there's going to be a whole storyline about my brestoses and that has not aged well and is slightly problematic. And so today I am wearing a turtleneck turtle neck.
Yes, because turtlenecks cover your brass.
Everything everything.
I was just like, you know what, this is what I'm wearing for this episode, turtile neck, since there is going to be many conversations about this part of my body.
Yeah, I forgot it was that aggressive.
It's agressive.
Yeah.
I was like, damn, let's just straight up like, hey, take them out and let me say by can you?
But anyway, we'll get there. We'll get there, you guys. By the fact that on the rewatch, I got blindsided by it and then I didn't remember how bad it got, and then I was sitting there, I'm like, how, yeah, how but it's almost like the beginning of this episode where Nick kind of explains all of the nicknames he has for the women he's hooking up with, and he goes, if I put the oops on myself, it's about me and my faults, is not her. And that's basically though,
how they got away with the breast reduction storyline. They made it about Schmidt being an idiot with severe issues, and that takes the heat off of the CC part of it. It's still a little problematic, anyway, let's get into it. Run it down, okay.
In this episode, Nick fakes being gay and creates a new alter ego, Gay Nick, in an attempt to make Jess's new boyfriend Ian feel less awkward about their past. Meanwhile, Schmidt absolutely loses it when CC mention she might get a breast reduction, prompting him to do everything in his power to save his two best friends, Harold and Kumar. Elsewhere, Coach tries to get Winston and stopped playing his long game with their sexy neighbors Michelle and viv Who'll be right back.
And this episode was directed by Ruh Awsome, who was our DP. It it was our DP. That's right, our director of photography.
Yeah, so we got a chance to direct it, which of course makes it a great episode because he knows the show inside out. He helps all the directors with you know, how they're gonna frame it, how they're gonna shoot it. Like he's kind of like the whisperer. So the fact that here was no middleman per se, like he just got to do it himself. That's quite cool. And he had one of the greatest writers that was ever on New Girl, Berkeley Johnson wrote it, this is, of course episode four seven a gold mine.
When I tell you, Russ, when I directed, like, for all the directors out there, aspiring directors, make your DP, your cinematographer, your best friend. M m. They help you with everything, They correct your mistakes, make you look good. Russ was like every step of the way. He would look at my shot list and go, Nope, nope, try this, try this, Okay, yep, yep.
So he's great, he's great, Okay, let's just dive in a ship.
I will say this. I just want to say that about Russ. Another thing what was so cool about Liz is that she had a lot of friends that were super talented writers that were also thinking of directing, and she gave quite a few of them opportunities to come and direct on our show, because it's hard to get on a show. How do you direct for the first time,
something big? And so she gave that opportunity to them and then set them up for full success because she had Russ there to sit there and support them, and so the episode came out really great. And then a lot of them have gone on to be really great directors, but they needed to get their foot in the door and then prove themselves. And New Girl was a great show to do it on because it just had that
reputation of precing great TV. And so she really did, you know, use her platform to help a lot of female directors kind of launch their careers, which is very cool she did.
She's the best. She still is the best, even though she doesn't return my phone calls.
That was said at their wedding. Remember at their wedding when she married Ali, they gave out Alex's phone number because Liz is so notorious for not responding to text or phone calls. You gotta you gotta, you gotta contact the husband.
Yeah, he's Hollywood with me too.
They both they're in New York now a New York life, I know, but geez.
That's stupid.
All right, Okay, this episode is crazy funny. I also forgot about all the weird stuff that happens. And the boys, by the way, do give really really good advice to her. You can't tell somebody that you're trying to bring home to have some fun with that you live with your ex. You can't.
Yeah, well, I think you can, and it takes a mature person on the other ends except that, but in the beginning, that's like asking a lot of a person to trust that your situation is cool. In the beginning, it should be fine still, because it's like I don't owe you anything, like I I just met you were going on a date. I live in my boyfriend, or I live with my girlfriend like or ex ex boyfriend
or ex girlfriend. It's so close to the beginning that it should be okay and now, and then over time, the closer you get, the more you get to know that person that they live with, the more you could possibly be okay with it.
But then at some point it's going to have to change.
I think it's weird from the get go because in the get go, when you start dating somebody. You know, it's it's that point where like the slightest thing, you're like, I'm out the juice salad weird, I'm out, and it's like we're going to go back and we're you know, first of all, if you just say I have roommates, it's already like okay, so I guess this is going
to be a very quiet situation. And then to go like and one of them I was sleeping with last week and it was very serious, big emotional, you know, relationship with them, and I said I love you and we loved each other.
And it's really.
You go, you got to use it like Nick uses it, which is it's time to leave.
Yeah, if you're if you're an individual who truly believes they're playing effish in the sea, then sure you don't have a problem, Like you don't have a problem with tractingy you know that your partners out there, then yeah, you could be like I don't need this, may go, I'm gonna go find it. I'm gonna go find Oprah.
You know, yeah, it.
Should be that easy, right, there's no problem. Ops um available Oprah.
I feel like Oprah.
I feel like Oprah outside and I feel like Opra just but we don't know this about Oprah, But I feel like Oprah just be out here getting it in, just on the low and don't tell you.
Oh. I just hit my like that was so. My computer just started as a seizure at the thought of you saying anything unkind or weird about Oprah. My my, my computer just started to like shake.
Oprah.
I believe Oprah is listening. I love Oprah so much, Oprah Beyonce. I believe they are all listening.
Yeah, wouldn't that be go hey Oprah? Maybe Okay, So, so this is happening that she's trying to go and get this guy. How does she say it? How does she do it? Is she going to be emotionally mature and just tell the truth to this guy? Nick is like, do not make up a lie. They offer a bunch of suggestions, which I think are great. Meanwhile, Winston is playing a risky game with the neighbors.
Yeah, you know, I forgot about.
I forgot about Honestly, I thought they were just in one episode and I forgot that.
It's like they live there.
Now, and I just remember, like as I was rewatching this, going oh, it's just where Winston's acting like a little bitch. It's like it's like playing a long game. And the way they would write it and set me up and make me look.
Like such a simp, it's such a cock. I'm like, you know what, though.
It's not the worst strategy, right, I mean, just sit there and go like, I'm going to just sit here and be the hero every day for these women. I'm gonna be the hero. I'm here all day. I'm also here all day so that any dude comes in kind of like the situation across the hall, they're gonna be like, who's this, like, good looking guy hanging out here doing all this stuff with you? And so then that guy
might go. And so it's not a terrible strategy that Winston has, except where it's like he's not creating moments of opportunity to change the nature of the relationship, which.
Is a bit of an issue. Right And we see obviously at the end we'll get there. But hell, it was weird.
It was sad and weird, very.
Very sad, very very sad.
Okay, then here here is the moment we're going to kick off this storyline.
Good god, Okay, go ahead, it's so weird.
It's so weird. So CEC is looking through Jess's bras Hmm, what an intro to the storyline.
We've all done.
It just stuck through.
When I met my boy's house. You know, when I met my boy's house, I'm always going through their underwear drawer. It's like, let's see what we got here?
What we got? Can I rock this? Can I rock that?
Just normal? Just normal? Can I just ridle through your panty drawer?
Yeah?
Big to you, we're friends. The fact that Jess is just like kay, like, nothing's going to pitch you. I don't know what you're doing. I remember, though, reading this script and I was like, how weird is this going to be? And I was actually very concerned because it does say that she shows them, and I'm like, how are we pulling this off? Like I feel so uncomfortable about it. But they did it in a way that was fine and funny and made sense. But so here's
the thing I will say. I will say is that I remember being whatever, fifteen, sixteen and telling my mom I wanted a breast.
Reduction when you were fifteen and yes.
Yeah, yeah, oh boy, Yeah, I remember telling my mom that, and she she I mean, she basically had the reaction that Schmid had.
Yeah, I'm like, did she did? She did?
She was she con fifteen or sixteen? Did she question you, you know, on whether or not you knew what you were talking about or what that entailed.
She knew what I was talking about, and she was wise enough to know that it was really just societal pressure. And I know that sounds strange, but every single magazine, different magazines than a fifteen year old boys are looking at, but every magazine that was geared towards girls, the girls were just like super rail thin and they had just like T shirts that would just kind of like hang effortlessly or you know, it was just different. And I was just I looked like a grown woman and it
was just weird. And I just thought, like, I just want to this is a focal point. I would like it just to be not quote unquote normal and feel normal.
And so my mom was like, why don't we wait, Why don't you wait, and we'll talk about this in like ten years from now, and she's and it was just and then she said something that was crazy, which she knows that I'm just going to share today, which is crazy, because she was just like, let's just see when we get the first complaint about them, shall we, As in, you're feeling all this body pressure from women and from what the standard of women is supposed to
be and how they're supposed to look, and how thin and how small all your body parts are supposed to be. And she was just like, you haven't started dating and going out in the world, but you're also going to see there's a lot of love for your body, which hopefully then will make you realize you've got a great body. So just like, wait, you're getting information from the world that's forming things in your brain about what to love
and not to love about your body. Just wait, there'll be more information coming.
Wow, you knew a lot of information at fifteen sixteen because you were a bartender.
I was working at a bar at fifty years oulds, I was. But those guys are all like my brothers. Man. They kept be so safe in that bar. It was good to work at that bar anyway. All that to say, it was funny to sit there and hear this thing about I want a breast reduction, because it brought me back to like a real conversation I had and then someone who loved me who basically was like, let's just take a beat before you do some major surgery. Let's get more information from life and from the world, and
you could figure this out for yourself. Yeah.
I've been thinking about getting a reduction too, but we ain't got to talk about that.
It's crazy, it's crazy, it's crazy.
Wait till next week when we talk about the Ruler episode that are lying.
I don't know why I.
Said that's a good line the next episode. Okay, okay, all right, So then Schmidt hears down the hall, CEC talking about the breast reduction surgery comes. I mean, it's the funniest As they stand, Jess and CC stand and just hear the footsteps getting louder and racing, like break next week and she opens it or she's like, wonder who this could be? He comes busting in screaming No.
It was so funny because you you are basically whispering this to Jesse in this room and you just hear him screaming on the outside and flying.
Down the head means the room's got to be bugged. Every time CC comes over, he just like sits there and like listens to like the bug in the room.
No one, it's Ceci. He just listen.
It's just like, yeah, hyper aware.
And I love the fact that even with that stalker like behavior, Cec still loves him.
You know what. It's weird though, you know, you just like have that weird friend and you just know, like they're weird isms and everything. You're just like they're harmless, so you don't get offended by them when you love someone and knows somebody that deeply versus a stranger, Like if Nick had said it, Cec would be like, I'm hing the cops immediately. Yeah right, And so there's a difference in your relationships and how you know people and
accept their weirdness. And I think that that's the sweet dynamic of like Schmidt and CC.
Yeah, all right.
Then Schmid goes to the bar, he goes through his like you know, weird phases of anger, depression, denial, acceptance, being a crazy person. And then we're back with winning coach.
Yeah, you know, Winston is telling coach that he doesn't want to stray from his long game, you know what I mean, he still got some things worked out. Coaches letting him know basically that having sex is not about planning ahead.
Man, you just gotta you just gotta seize the opportunity.
And then uh, Coach pitches a crying Schmidt on hanging out with four new boobs. It's so funny how we're like, how we're personifying breasts just to make just to make we're personifying breasts. And we do it again later on in this episode when when he's comparing Coach in Winston and there's a lot of confusion, but it's so funny in order to make this stuff okay that we have to keep it personified. We have to like, instead of just straight up saying it, we're like call him Harold
and Kumar, you know. He's like, hey, can I introduce you to four new you know, because on.
Two different women women.
Which is also what's that as a response, those things kill me? Is there a four women out there that we don't know about?
You're going to Yeah, you have been West Virginia.
I got some things over.
There, the boobs up here, the under boobs under here.
Yeah, some total recall stuff.
All. So Jess is now trying to like get up the courage. She's going to handle this in immature way, right, So she's like we're going to take you back to my place. It's a cute little moment. Then she has to say she lives with her accent. She has to tell him that it was serious and that they didn't say I love you, and he's like, I'm out. You know, I've been on a bunch of weird dates. I don't want another weird experience in my life. I'm like max
out on the weirdness. And then she starts to take on the guy's script from the beginning, where she's like, there's nothing no worry about.
He's gay.
He's gay, and it's maybe again it's like the weird thing of the Schmidt and CC like her accepting his absolutely inappropriate weirdness that you see that there's like true chemistry there.
The level that Nick tries to go, even though he's so bad at it, the level that he tries to go to support her hook up is nothing but love, which is what the guy calls out at the end. Yeah, this man's in love with you that he would even try when he's clearly terrible and what does he have? Terrible a lying but I'm great at make believe. He's also terrible at make believe.
Oh, god.
Anyway, So just tells Nick a lot about his backstory. He tells her he's not to put him in a box. Don't put him in a box because gay men hate that. So funny. We're gonna get back into uh Nick being gay or four gay. Uh we come back for gay, he's for gazy when we come back and we are back podcast, We're back to the Messervione podcast with Simon and and Morris.
So, if you were trapped on an island and you could only bring three LPs with you, which records would you like to listen to? Emmy Award winner.
And Morris LPs the.
Record there's only room for one. But Benson Boone is my favorite artist, Oh my god. Yeah, which I saw him perform last night again and that's the first time seeing perform.
I went to event. But he's he's a buddy of mine.
Ben Jon Boom.
Yeah, randomly me and Jake.
I don't want to say buddy, I say acquaintance, but we're becoming buddies.
Probably not, but.
Anyway, a manifest moment. He's such a great he's such a great performer.
Is American idol. Someone just told me that the other day. He came up of American Idol and they did a full like Harry Styles glow up on him, right.
Yeah, I believe.
So.
He was like it was we were in a basketball game and Jake.
It was me and Jake at the Lakers game and Benson was sitting right in front of us, and Jake like.
A little bitch was freaking out. It was like, that's Benson Boone.
That's Benson Benson Boone, Yeah, and knows who it is.
Yeah, And when he turned around, Benson Boone was and turns out Benson Boone's a big New Girl fan, big yeah. And was like, oh my god. He asked us for a photo.
No he did not, Yeah, he asked us for a fire were taking.
We started following each other on social media, and yesterday him and I were dming that I was coming to the show and uh yeah, he was just like met up after the show, hung out, hung out at the event and yeah.
I was like this.
And what's what's so cool about it was that that day I was playing a song that he had just released and I was like, my god, this song is great. This man is on fire, Like this is this new song is going to be on some Adele ballad shit song about his mother, and I was like, oh my god, this is great. And then he performed it that same day, like later that same night. I was like, my god, what is my life?
Man? What is mom?
Benson Boom performed like your new favorite song?
Yeah?
Such a cool and you guys are like in each other's d ms. Benson, come on the podcast, come here. You love New Girl so much? I challenge you. Come here. We'll do a New Girl quiz for Benson. Let's see how many you get right and if you win, you sang. If you lose, you sing?
I posted, I posted it was it a Rick glassman. I posted a video of him performing here today.
Rick was like, how many backlips did you do?
Yeah? I saw he was wild.
The dude is insane. Man.
I feel like Benson Boone would be able to channel a better gay Nick than Gay Nick did.
Will Benson be showing his titties a lot? Can I say that he always got his shirt?
I don't know.
We're about to have a whole scene talking about mine, so I guess we could talk about Benson's.
He's always showing off? Is Harold and Kumar his Harold Harold.
I feel like Benson's a real new girlfriend. He will not mind this. Benson, we love you. Please come on our show. Okay, so well back, and this is the part, Oh my god, this part. Okay. I was by myself during the rewatch and I cackled it away where I was like, someone's going to call the police because there's no way she's alone. When when when Max picks up the little Clementine oranges mm hmm and the girls just
over here. Then Damon tries to pivot about what he was talking about, which Schmidt doesn't hear, and then the girls think it's about you and Damon.
Yes, And then the most off.
Sides thing that I feel like that Max Greenfield has had to say on this show in the longest time, about you too, which is about the oranges, which is about the breasts. It's so complicated. And then the scene ends with you two.
Bouncing bouncing.
I swear I nearly passed away.
Bounce bounce.
I mean him comparing them by color.
He's like one it's like if you you didn't pay attention, but one slightly browner than the other.
And the Dario's face right because she's just like her jaw is literally on the ground because I'm sure even look because as an actress you still have to choose your reactions and play as if he's talking about these two men.
Yeah, yes, it is crazy.
Then how you choose your reactions because you feel so humanly uncomfortable with what is actually happening.
Oh god, oh my gosh. But yeah, this is right, and this is the right, this is right at that moment where they get kicked out.
Yeah, I did skip over some of the funniest stuff in the entire world, which is that Coach and Winston come up with the thing that they're leaving for forty four weeks to sell socks, absolutely, and that Sid's entry line is I just cried on my penis while I was peeing. Also one of my favorites, So that is going to go into like my top ten all time favorite scenes.
I could tell you that that as a man, I could tell you that happens more often than you.
You cry on your penis.
Well, people don't well because sometimes it's just there and it's in the way, and you don't know where your tears are going to go because some people are projectile criers, and you don't know you don't know where where it's gonna like, you know, cascades down, it rolls, it rips, it bounces.
Sometimes.
I feel like, if you're crying while you're peeing, maybe just sit down. Maybe just do a sit down pee.
If you're just you, who says you gotta who says you gotta be peeing while you're crying on your penis, you could be You could be on a nude nature jog and you can see a beautiful, beautiful sunset, or a beautiful flower or a hummingbird.
Can someone animate Winston on a nude nature jog crying on to his own penis?
Why?
Why is my brain work like that? When you say something, I see it, and I don't.
Want an animation form.
You're gonna see it, and you're gonna see this often in an animation form. Somebody out there will make this. Somebody with good AI, dude.
That's where he was crying. Well, okay, So then Max gets back from his nude nature jog, Chris on this penis. Everything goes left with the forty four weeks in the socks and the bouncing, and so the girls wisely kick these men out of the apartment.
Yes, I think that's important. I think that's very much so appropriate.
And everything then goes sideways for everybody because the next morning just wakes up next to Ian and then classic Nick Miller cannot be a good wingman to the end, I mean.
You know, but to be fair, Okay, So what happens is, you know, he knocks on the door and he lets her know that he's screwed up because he's hooked up with a.
Woman and she's there. Yeah. But to me, I'm like, this is an easy, the fixed, fixable problem.
But again, we're in TV world. There's no issue there. He was in his own private room with a woman. Ever put her clothes on and stay.
In the room or go home.
But the problem is, I think was what he has learned is this woman won't leave.
Yeah, we figured that out later.
Yeah. I think he's kind of clocked that. You know, it seems like he had a great way of getting all these women out quickly and this woman is like not. And so he's like, I've messed up.
Or you know what I like to do, you know, I like to do what to get people to leave, Hey, let's go get a coffee or you know.
What, stay with her, just stay in the room round two.
Well, because no, you can't keep doing round too.
Because like breakfast, I don't care that much.
Got refuel, refuel, retool.
And stay in the room.
But what does she gotta go drop a deuce?
This is why he's like he So he comes out and he's like, I'm just gonna be transferred. Here's the thing. I don't know why this would feel shocking, Like why can't he just be by Why can't he be like obviously he was with Jess and now he's dating men. Can't he just be like, oh, I'm.
Just because no, because that's even that's even that's even worse for his case now because on the table, yeah, he's like now it's like, oh, I I don't I didn't turn myself off from women, like I still date women.
He's like, wait, what so you so now now? Now now he does.
Ian doesn't know whether or not if if that's the case, Ian doesn't know whether or not he's you know, fully engaged with men, because he could just today and it's.
True, he did present it like gay Nick. He didn't say why Nick, or you know, curious or fluid Nick. Yeah, you're right, Okay, So my idea that it wouldn't work gay, but Bryan, okay, okay. So then just is like, you know what, I'm gonna take care of it because I'm just gonna go full crazy X on her and trust me, she's gonna run screaming. And she goes in, but the girl kind of out crazies her, and it's just like, no,
I don't care. Like the last guy I dated was eighty years old and I just prayed he did die every day. So I like, good with whatever this situation is, which is amazing.
We've all been there.
Eighty year old woman and I had the same thoughts, you know what I mean, Just stick around for a while, just stay here.
I love you, all right. So Coach tries to have Winnie's back because he's like tired of watching these women manipulate his friend Winston, and he's kind of right, so he goes in. He apologizes for trying to manipulate them and then says, but also, you're not off the hook, because y'all I've been doing the same kind of thing to Winnie.
That's right.
You know you've manipulating him for months, thinking that you know, using your sex to get him to do stuff, and they say that they haven't been using sex to get Winston at Doucet, and Winston is a little bit, uh, he's little, he's a little you know, hurt by that. He's like, oh, you haven't. That's what I thought you guys were doing. I thought I was about to get in there. And then they rock paper scissors.
Well, coaches like, listen, he's done. He's not going to help you anymore. And they still need to like their floors done and their shelf done. And then yeah, this choice.
This, you know, I don't know how I feel about this moment, you know, just because we're in the future and there's different things to think about. But I'm like, did he just say I'll fix your floors for some squish?
Like basically that's happening.
Basically, it's like they can't before they live They live in a very expensive.
Apartment, very expensive apartment, and.
You need to tell me, like, their apartment is exactly the same as our apartment. Ye, and we have a lot of people living in there, pain right, and it's just them too, So they clearly have the money, you know what I mean, to just have someone you know, first of all, why are you redoing a floor is in a rental.
It's just kind of all right, But but hanging sheels.
I just thought that was I just thought that was a really interesting orichal, the idea that they would.
Go, okay, well I'll I'll sleep.
With you the way she was like it's me.
I was like, oh my god, what. But then they do a turn, which is nice just for everybody's dignity, just like, I'm kind of into it. All right, let's make it cute, let's go have some fun. And when he's like.
Good, bring a pencil on a hard head, she.
Runs down the hall. Feels slightly problematic to sit there and like blackmail the women, and the women are kind of like doing their own version of blackmail. It feels very strange.
Well, then it's mutual at that point, you know it's both parties.
If both parties are agreeing that we're manipulating each other to get stuff that we want.
And I just feel weird of sex be transactional, the boobs thing. There's a lot of weird stuff that happens in this episode, but it truly is the magic of new girls sometimes where you love them so much you know that their intention is good, because here's what's so smart about how they build their characters is that deep down you know that Whennie is not just trying to get some squish, deep down he wants to be in
a relationship, he wants to be loved. He's actually trying to win like true favor, right, He's trying to sit there, play the long game, to be in a relationship and to do this thing. And that's what you believe as like an audience member, and so you're kind of just like, oh, well, maybe this will like she'll see how great when he is, and then they'll be together for a while. It's that's why it doesn't feel gross. Where on the surface it should feel gross.
Should feel disgusting. It should feel disgusting. You know, if that was the case.
If that was the case, I could tell you I would have become a carpenter a long time.
It's worked out for a lot of people. Car Ian. Then this thing that the scene between Ian and Nick Miller, and then the end you know it's coming. That's the greatest thing, because I had forgotten it and I'm just sitting there and being like, they better have Schmidt walk in and just be Schmidt and it's going to sit there and validate Nick's whole story just by him being Schmidt. Yes, it's beautiful because he's totally in the weeds, he's covered
in sweat. The lies are like unraveling and getting weird, and Schmidt saves him.
Oh my god, it was such a funny. It was the to me, that's like the perfect that was the perfect scene in this episode. Yeah, everything comes to a head and it plays out perfectly, and it didn't feel like a stretch, didn't feel.
Like I was safe.
Yeah, I was safe.
It was perfectly written with It's the same as the Clementines and the walk away and the comeback, and then one's browner than the other, Like they did a perfect thing in the writing where everybody's going along with it and the audience knows how ridiculous we're talking about different things, fully different. Didn't twice in the same.
Episode exactly back to back. Yeah, Yeah, but I thought it was great. I thought that was a very very at the end when he's like he's Nick is looking at Ian almost as if we almost got him, We almost got him.
Here's the here's the cherry on top.
Schmidt, kiss me, kiss me, and he does it, and obviously Schmidt is like, first of all, Schmid's gay, Like he.
Schitt loves this. It's like, I can't wait, this has been my moment. But he's waiting for it, and he does.
It, and and it works perfectly because his response to him is that your beard is at the perfect I know.
I felt stubble all things.
That that conversation would have happened the exact same way minus some of Nick's lines, But Schmid would have been the exact same way if Ian were not there one hundred percent.
That's what I'm saying. Ian became invisible, and somehow Schmidt saves Nick until until the crazy Lady will come at the end. Okay, so before we get to that, Schmidt barges into CC's consultation. Oh boy, this was a scene. I was really worried about it, and I remember talking a lot to the producers about it because I'm like, how are we doing this reveal? Where's the shot? Where's this going to look like? And they were just like, literally,
it's the top of your shoulder and your face. It's a reaction and then you are barely not even in frame, and it's going to be all of Schmidt just doing his a big emotional goodbye and the only thing that you're going to hear is him actually talking about how much he loves CEC. And I was like, okay, and they did. They did a great job of like selling
this as a super funny story of how CEC. They used all the reaction shots of CEC showing that it was inappropriate, uncool, not okay, this is crazy, but then also realizing that, man, this guy loves it. Could Honestly, the way it was kind of shared to me is like this could be about her toes, you know, like it's any part of her body. He just loves her so much, he loves everything about her to change a hair on her head, and then they just chose the craziest thing, you know. Yeah, it was very weird.
Shadowt Harold and Kumor.
We had cal Pen on the show. Yeah, we had him on when we.
Did I know we had I know we had Calpen. He was a cat agent.
Yeah, he was something like he was when we were doing the heist and I feel like we got locked away or something like that. He was, Yeah, yeah, something I.
Want to say. Harold and Kumar, we're both on the show.
Were they, Joel, Is that true? Did we have both Harold and Kumar?
I could be wrong.
Oh yeah, he was in jury duty episode of New Girl. That happens later we had Harold and Kumar.
You were right.
In real life we had John Show and cal Pen.
Yes, that is correct.
That's hysterical that we've never even put that together. I want you the fans to put that together. Harold and Kumar, and then Harold and Kumar were on the show Man New Girl. This happened to the show runs long enough. Weird things that are definitely not intentional.
Oh yeah, yeah happened.
I love the I love the It's an interesting moment where he's unless you just talked about this, I know you hinted on it a little bit, but he's wearing the headphones and he's saying it. I think I was like, Yeah, it was such a funny moment because I can guarantee you that Max was actually probably saying things for sure, and uh and just.
But just being a little bit more Schmidt.
With his with his physicalities, and I can and I can also assure you that in the script it said it was probably just gestures that he was making to make it feel like he was saying stuff, and he decided he's actually going to say real things for sure.
They had a pack of alts for him too, to sit there, like just in case, say all these things and then like shoot a basketball and two finger guns and get weird. Oh yeah, he did play it though beautifully. That's the one thing about Max is he's got like such an incredible, like dramatic range, and he places it perfectly in a comedy show, which sells the heart of something because it's so absurd to be that serious about something so ridiculous. Oh yeah, but you believe him. He's like crying.
Yeah, yeahtation.
Be if I go through, If I go through with this reduction, I know, if I know some women that's going to knock down the doors of the doctor's office.
No, give me the leftover bit.
Yeah, I don't want to.
Plant in my garden. Oh my gosh, how could we make this weirder? Okay, So then they're in the bathroom. This is the end of the show. They're waiting for Winston in the shower, and then they realized that they are the weird ass clowns that all of all these other these people that they've been dating and sleeping with. They go home to their group of friends and talk about the weird experience they just had and they realized that, oh it's us.
Yeah, we're the weird ones.
We're the weird ones.
And then Winston walks into the bathroom.
To yeah, and then to reveal that it's actually Nick's one night stand was in the shower, peeing the shower, peeing in the shower, which you know we can put up.
We can put a pole up right now and see you know who pee's in the shower? Who doesn't pee in the shower. But I'm guilty of it.
I feel like everybody peas.
In the shower.
I think everybody's gonna lie. Yeah, they're gonna lie and say they don't for sure. It's going right down anyway. You know what's the worst drain.
What's the worst of your drain is clogged?
And nobody is yeah know your shower?
I guess, yeah, don't.
Well, first of all, I just talkd about this. Don't peing somebody else's shower, you in your own show.
It's also weird because the shower is usually like very close to a toilet. Yeah, you could just pee and then get in the shower.
Yeah, you go handle it that way.
You can do whatever you want in your house in your shower. But it is weird to be like, I'm in somebody else's yeah spot, and like you, you're showering there. You're probably pretty comfortable with that person. So you know what's a little pea wash down the drain.
Famous last word, you know what.
The famous last words are? Is Schmidt comparing himself to being Harold and Kumar's shindler. What wild ending to that sea storyline?
He saved the boobs, he saved her boobs.
He said, your children will leave rocks and my grapes. All right, that is one of the greatest, funniest, weirdest should be problematic and somehow not episodes of New Girl And when we come back, we going.
On and we are Hannah, We're back.
We weren't even gone that long, but it still feels good to be back.
Oh my god, babe, babe, babe.
Would you have you lived with an X? And can people really ever make living with their ex work?
Now?
Really?
I know as a no, I have never lived to the next. Oh, okay, it was over, it's done. You know me, If it's over I go see you later. Delete your number. We're done. We're gone. I wish you the best. I hope you ever really wonderful life. But we don't need to be like friends. Yeah, you have a very different situation, probably more mature than mine, and but I'm done. So because of that, I have never lived with an X. That would be bonkers.
So you you have you wait, so have you lived with someone broke and then broke it up and then moved out?
Was that?
What was that the case?
I always had my own place.
Okay, So you never lived with other than you know, other than husband.
No, I've never lived in a place where they didn't give up their spot or I didn't give up their spot. That's right, Okay, so I haven't. And I remember a boyfriend bought a house for us, Oh, bought a house, and I did not give up my apartment because I was just like, you.
Know, I'm grateful.
I don't know. So we lived together. We always when I was with somebody, I always lived with them full time. Never touched my apartment when it was over. I was like, taking the house was so cool. It was a cool house. Do you remember?
I remember I tried to I tried to buy it. I tried to buy it.
Wow, good thing you did. Yeah, have some weird mojo in that house. Oh god, No, because of the people that sold it to him. That was a whole crazy story.
I know. He came up.
Crazy energy in that story. So, No, you've lived with the next I feel like, yes, you probably have like three xs living with you now because you're kind and generous, you let anybody.
Stay with you.
No.
I did live with the next though in the past. But it was a young situation.
You know, someone that I dated when I was much younger, and we dated kind of long distance, and then she moved to California after we had already.
Been broken up, you know, and we lived together. The question.
The tricky part about that was that you know, we were we were definitely rekindling, sure, you know what I mean. It was like it was almost like we started dating again in a way. But ultimately I moved out, you know, got on a new girl and was like I got money, now, dog.
Help with this rent guy. So I so I moved out.
And what's funny about it is that for years her and then a couple other girls lived in this place, and my name was still on the lease, so every time I would go over that would act like it was my place.
Mine is mine. Okay, what's the best way to tell a friend they shouldn't go through with a cosmetic procedure they are contemplating doing. Can I just say something right now? Mind your business?
Oh you're saying that if your friend wants to go through a cosmetic procedure, just let them do it.
What do they want to do?
Let them do it asking you? If they're asking you do you think, then tell your truth. But if someone is just like, I'm gonna go get my nose done, hund your business?
Well what if you know you ever see those people like thisse the thing?
Yeah, I'm okay with that too, Like go if you want to get work done or whatever is your body?
I I don't care. But it's when people.
Take it too far that it becomes a concern because then it feels like it becomes a mental disorder where it's like when people have this dysmorphia of what they look like and they go, Okay, I'm gonna they keep doing it, and they keep doing it, and before you know it, they end up looking like catwoman.
There's the but if they're asking for help. Are they saying like, hey, what do you think should I do it? I think that's a different thing to be like lovingly, to be like, if you really are asking me, then this is what I'll share.
But that's the question. That's the question. Is the question is you know if it's if? The question is how do you tell them they shouldn't? So if they are asking you, what do you say?
I say, Okay, tell me what would you say?
I show them.
I show them pictures of like botched procedures and go this so you could look like this. And they show them picture of like, you know, Denzel Washington, and I go, or you could look like this, And then it's a picture of when Martin got beat up by that boxer in the episode of Martin and his face had the lumps all over it.
They look crazy.
It's a picture of Martin that's going to talk the woman out of getting her Well.
It's gonna be a woman. Men get men, get men get work done all the time.
I know they do. Here's what I will tell you. Here's what I'll tell you. Here's a flip on that question. Okay, because I have never had anything done. Okay, I've never done a botox, a filler, a whatever, like nothing. I don't even go for like facials. I don't do anything at all. Wash my face or makeup, that's what I'll do. But I've never done anything.
Mm.
And the amount of people who have told me I should.
Your kids don't count. Your kids don't count.
I'm telling you no. Grown people have said to me they're like, you know that thing right there, you could just and it'll be better, or your lips they could be like this, And it's so funny to me. So like this question is about how do you tell someone not to go through with it? Like the freedom people have to suggest you should get some work done is
how do you stop that from happening. I genuinely feel it's almost like a weird sickness for me where I'm just so curious to know what I'm gonna look like, Like I like the idea. I feel really privileged to age, you know, like you have lost friends when they're younger or whatever. You realize that every day you get to be here, you're so lucky to be here. And I'm just curious to know what am I gonna look like
at fifty five sixty five, seventy five. And if I alter anything in my face or put things in or out for me, I go, I just wonder what I would have looked like. And also to everybody that's doing all the things, I think that's great. Whatever makes you feel great. It makes me feel great to kind of go like, ooh, this thing is happening today. And for other people they do other things. I think it's great.
That's why I'm saying, mind your business. Don't tell me to get work done, and I won't tell you not to get work.
That's why you're so angry about this.
I'm trying to make a deal. I'm trying to make a deal with everybody.
Oh this is personal, all right, well personal, Never mind all the things I said.
This is a very personal episode about boobs and botox.
You guys, all right, I know, crying on penises anyway.
Listening to those LPs, okay, well.
Go mine today was my goodness got into it.
Thank you all for listening. As always, we really appreciate it. Please show us some love. Show us some love by clicking that notification bell, get that like, make some comments, share with your friends, follow us on ig at the mess Around pod and go ahead and get some of that merch. We don't have turtlenecks yet's rocket.
Right now, but we will. We will very very soon.
We have a great merch. You guys, you've got birthdays coming up, something that someone's a new girl fan. Be like Benson Boone, go get yourself some new girl merch.
We should send Benson some new girl merch.
Oh, Benson, Merry Christmas.
Well, he wears like sparkly blouses, so we.
Can sparkle it for him. You want some rhinestones on a mess around sweater?
Oh? Yeah?
Sign into his DMS and say, Hannah, Simone wants to know if you want to rhyinestone mess around sweater right now?
Hannah, let's see, I got it right there.
Open.
Would you like us?
That's a nude? Who's that? Okay? Yep, I got it? Boom he just said, all right, cool, done?
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Yes please do we love you and I help you love us back? Please by Mike.
That was the mess around. In iHeartMedia Production.
Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our senior producer is Abu Zafar Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson.
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