406: Background Check

I just have to say I have been waiting a very, very, very very long time for us to do this particular recap because really, it's honestly one of my favorite episodes. Am for Really, Yes.

That's interesting. Is the worst for me?

Was the worst for you?

Hannah? Relax, I'm joking.

Okay, all right, I got so sad. I was like, what happened that I didn't know? Anyway, I can't wait to get into this episode. It is episode four oh six. Background check, Okay, run it down?

Okay. So in this episode, as Winston prepares for a vital home visit from Sergeant Dorado, Jess comes clean about a bag of meth she acts identally bought out a garage sale, causing Schmidt to kiss Ceci. Yes, that's what caused the Schmidt caused Nick to come clean about his teenage erection. Demons and coach in search of a little boy at a park, all in an attempt to keep the cover up alive.

I love this episode. It's so it should be so problematic, and somehow it's not. Jeane Yes. Genia's episode directed by the great wonderfuller In Scafaria and written by the immensely talented Rebecca Adamman. We're going to take a break and then we're going to dive in.

Okay, it seems as if we're back from a break. So we promised the folks we would dive in.

It seems like we're back. It's really funny. I just watched like some of our I never really watch our stuff, but I was just watch some of the clips of like us doing this recording, and I realize that it looks like I'm like reading a book while we're recording. But it's because I see you're I'm like looking at you and like where you are on my computer screen is low, and so it's just like me sitting here, sitting so I am now trying to like be aware of the camera this many episodes in and left my

Wait, are you at the bottom or are you at the top of your screen?

I'm at the top, ere at my bottom? Here at my bottom.

No, that's that's terrible, terrible. So because because I can go like this and be looking down at you, we could do it like.

Everybody.

What was that video where Usher Usher was a good big Usher thought he was in the middle of the screen, and all these celebrities were like singing a song, and Usher thought he was in the middle, so he kept like looking down at people. But Usher was at the bottom corner the whole video.

It's like eye lines, man, eye lines. Eyelines are very important. All right, let's dive in. I love this episode so much and the reason why and they even say it in the episode. It's an all hands on deck New Girl episode. It was a box episode, which means all of us are basically in the loft together, which means when we shot it, we were all there all week, which was not common. Usually there's an A storyline, a

Okickure?

All right, okay, so let's start right from the top.

Okay, So Schmid's finding out you know, through reading text on just his phone that sees you went on a date. My favorite is when she says, why don't you just go through my I'm looking at my phone. I just go through my phone like you always do.

What I'm in the shower, you know that is primed like sneaky phone checking time when the person's in the shower.

Is that when you do it.

That's when I used to do it back in the day.

Now you do it just openly give me your phone your phone.

No, no, I don't have to do it anymore, thankfully, But yes, when someone was in the shower, it was always like do do You're like a little pink panther being like I love that he knows it or she knows that. That's when he does it. All right, Whinston walks into the kitchen and let's all off know that the academy is doing a background check on him today.

That's right, very very outlet.

I'm all bit also unhinged and hysterical.

Yeah, before we get into that thought, this is what's so crazy, is what I'm what I'm realizing about this particular set of friends, mainly just Nick and Schmidt, and now I'm a little bit, Coach, but Nick has done this numerates, well, we've all kind of done it. We have tried to sabotage the other person's employment, like we don't all share all offt It's like you kind of want.

Us, you need my rent money for you to live here.

Like oh my god. Like the other episode with the sponge and Nick is like intentionally sabotaging it. At least in that episode, Coach and Winston were kind of trying. They were just really bad at it. And this one they're like, I don't care.

Maybe you won't have a job. We don't care. It's a very weird thing. And then the the outlet mall. Yeah, set up he has going on is hysterical. The legs, the legs. First thing. I don't even know why it was making me because I love an outlet mall, so I was like actually taking notes. I thought it was great.

Never been to an outlet mall, I don't believe.

Really, I bet you you've been.

You didn't know it, no, because I don't like I mean, there were certain malls around my house growing up, and certain malls that I went to. I don't ever remember.

It's a grown up thing to do, though, wouldn't have been you wouldn't have done it as a kid, That's what I mean.

So as a grown up, quite positive, I've never been to an Alcaba really. Yeah, what do you get at alet mall? Just everything in bulk because it's like Costco of malls.

No, it's just everything cheap. You can go to like any like high end designer store, but it's all like fifty percent off.

Anna. You know me. You know I don't do anything cheap.

I like to pay full price for everything.

I know it looks like I only wear merch from shows that I have been a part of. I know it only looks that way, that's all.

Are you okay find me? Do you need me to lend you some money?

Yeah, I'm trying to buy another house. I really need the cat, all right.

So just as this is an all hands on deck situation, so they have to help. This is why you need female friends. They have to help Winston pass his background check because last time he handcuffed his cat to the radiator and then lost the key.

Yeah, but in his defense, it was a Christmas card.

And then this hysterical thing that comes to what Max Greenfield does great, which is mispronounced names intentionally, just as she's going to cancel her plans with CZ and she'll get the download on Paul later, which of course sends Schmidt into like a spiral about how weird the name Paul.

Yeah. I remember when I was rewatching it, I missed that first part and I had to go rewind. I was like, what word is he trying to say? And then I rememindered. I was like, oh, Schmidt, he's Paul. I was like, it's like, but I love the fact that I love this interaction about about Sergeant Dorado her name.

I don't know.

That was that was like one of the that that to me was one of my favorite, one of my favorite lines to deliver ever period in my career. I don't know why, but because the writers wrote so well on this show, and so every once in a while they would hit like a they would have like a home run. All of them were like on bass, all of them were like, you know, this one was like a home run for me in my life because what was the line? He's like, uh it sergeant held her out.

There's a lot of fish bits in this show, to be fair. There's the lion fish. Yeah, fish, the aquarium. They've done a lot of stuff with fish. Is fish bit like the bears?

I hope.

So then confesses that she's a little worried that the police might go through a closet because she has been storing a bag of math, and then she pulls out I mean the largest bag of math. I think it's ever been bagged.

When Walter White couldn't handle that.

Then she tells them when she was getting waffles and Antelope Valley. I love the detail. I love details so much. I love specifics. She bought a footstool from her garage sale, and when she opened up the top she found.

The math, the method, famine, the fine.

And so she's like, we can't tell Winston. We don't want to freak him out. And then Winston comes in dressed, by the way, very nicely and appropriately for his background check, and so they immediately all of course start just jump on.

Him, just straying him. But Winston is such a sweetheart that he takes it as a kind a kind gesture. What do you say that you're like rubbing alcohol? You you sting me in the now? Would you save me?

And that was a great line too, and it was also like, so Winston, Yeah, they're being so rude, and he still finds a positive spin. It's so sweet because they're being straight up disrespectful. He came back and he found a ship that he wore on the lawn in front.

Of the line.

Thermal line also had me in stitches. They're just trying to get rid of him. Basically, what they're trying to do is they need Winston out of there so they can deal with.

The with the myth and fete ye. Fun fact, I've never seen myth either.

I always this is maybe part of my naivete in the world, But I'm like, how how would you? What do you? How do you? You couldn't just walk down the street and like, I don't even know, It's just like how would you even see it or get it if you wanted to. I'm not asking, by the way, Please nobody tell me I'm not interested.

I just well, you can you can ask. You can probably ask, like chat GPT how to make it?

Can I make it from a scratch?

Abody?

I know about as much about meth as Jessica Day does. Let's just put it that way. Oh yeah, I'm so so. Nick reiterates, he can't lie. It just makes him sweat. He can't know where they hide the meth or he's just gonna blurt it out. So just tells him to close his eyes and sing Landslide, which wow, great song Clearance by the way, because it is a phenomenal song. Then she throws the bag of meth to Schmidt and it explodes on.

You know what I you know, I find interesting about these. These are what I call TV moments, moments that you have to play in the dumb of it all because you can affect the storyline or you have to ride the joke out. They're He's like, I can't look at you put it in the trash because I want to yell trash. I can't, he can't be We'll leave the room walk away. I'm like, just go through while we go handle this, and then you got it was so funny to me. I'm like, oh, oh, this is a TV moment.

Yeah, it's like logic to do a lot of really really crazy slapsticky stuff. We did it from time to time and it was amazing. But that moments like that where you get to just be in the TV moment of the dumbness is so fun where you don't have to make it make sense. It's fine. Let him sing Landslide with his eyes closed. Fine, let it explode all over the place.

Fun fact, what is Landslide? Which song is that? Sings that song?

Landslides? TV Nicks, I Fleetwood, Max sing Zip and then the Chicks covered it and they did a really great cover. It's kind of like, you know, getting older and being a parent and life and relationships. It's really a beautiful, beautiful song. You would do a great cover of it.

I'm not a singer.

You are a singer. We just opened this entire podcast talking about you singing on the John Mulaney Show.

I had al and I still have it.

Well, you did a really good job.

So there's no there's no proof.

It's a beautiful song. I love it so beautiful. All right. So in the elevator, Winston tells Dorado that their apartment used to be a biscuit factory.

Wow, and this what does he say? That no one told the rats? Is that residential?

Now? She tells her that she hates jokes, and then he says, are you having a fun Saturday? It's so sad.

Because her bird died. Her bird died.

She said, she's not because her bird died, which what eyes. When I heard that, I was like, yes, yes, recognize grieving for obscure pets. She is a day after auto to grieve her birdie.

And I don't like the fact that you just call birds obscure longer than us.

I'm just saying, it's not like there seems to be a weird ranking, like if.

Someone's the pterodactyl. Consider the job these creatures. I'm sad, man.

You should start a side business where you are the preacher at bird funerals. This is a great job for you. You wear the bird shirt, you come out righteous, give it to them.

You gotta let him. So he's now soaring about the clouds. This is what I'm saying.

All I'm doing is that you're like making money, money making jobs for you printing.

It, and and I appreciate it. Like I said, I gotta get another home.

Just play like monopoly with these houses out there. Okay, So she's having a bad day because her bird died. She's not in the mood for any funny business. Unfortunately for her, she's about to walk into apartment forty.

Boy.

Yeah, so in the living room, Dorado lets him know she'll be asking the questions and in return, we'll expect no questions. She offers up three fun personal facts. She just wants this to be over. That's the thing that's hysterical, and so do they. And yet somehow the gang just managed to draw this out in the most painful way for everybody.

Yeah, I believe you know what I blame for who I blame for this? Nick and Jess, Sure I blame them too, because she's freaking out over the First of all, what she should have done a long time ago was figure out what the f was in that that little thing she had, that ottoman. She should have figured out how a long time ago, right. And two, maybe when Winston said that, oh you know, this is gonna happen. She should have picked it up, walked it outside, checked

But here's what I will say, because I do know how when you don't know a lot about drugs or crime, your brain only can pull from like procedurals on TV. And so like I found a big bag of math, I would probably be like, well, I don't want to like go throw it in the garbage, because now my fingerprints are on it, and they're gonna do like the dusting thing, and then they're gonna think it's mine, and

Well, if you're watching the these procedurals, you would know how to clean up a crime scene.

But on gloves.

Put on gloves, wash the outside of the bag, and then proceed to take the bag outside.

It's true, all right, So Dorado says, introduce yourself. Nick Media introduces himself, but cannot get his full name out because he's an idiot. Then a bag of meth falls out of Jess's bra She's got these huge boobs, meth boobs. And then Cec comes barreling and asking about the meth, and before she can get the word out and blow up their entire spot, Schmidt takes the opportunity to silence.

Her with a mouthphone mouth, little mouthphone mouth action.

And then he says, this is my girlfriend and whispers to Ceci, like go along with this or just goes to jail. And I got a hand to Ceci, man, this is what I've always said about like this character and why I've loved it so much. She is the most solid best friend in the world because she knows her ex boyfriend is taking a lipper tea right now. But if what he's saying is true, she's not going to hang a girl at.

A dry right, although we do reveal later on that she was into it.

That's true, that's true, She's it's not the worst thing that's happened in her day. The cutest is Winston being like, yay, I've shipped you guys for years. This is the greatest thing ever. And not because he's unaware of what's happening.

What do you just say? You can't put Peter, butter and Jelly on the same shelf and expect them not to mix.

So why do you got to eat a Sandwich's a classic Winston line.

Oh man, And so then you know Dorado. She's asking just why she thinks Winston would make a great officer. Before she could answer, uh, who is, the pats are on the back, causing the though meth to move around and mush around in her braw and so she has to go to the bath through, and of course Winston would follow her to the bathroom.

Of course he would this episode, of course he would.

Oh my god, oh no.

This part when she asks Nick and Nick explains why Winston would make a good cop to a lady cop. Yes, Lil Wayne will say to the lady cop because there.

Was great mustache. All cops have great mustaches, not the ladies, but they could have they walked to I think there would be six. It's too much nothing.

I like veteran. It's my favorite version of Nick Miller is the stressed, sweaty, bad lying Nick Miller. It's my absolute favorite.

Oh or when he stutters when he said he wants to He's like, can I shove a grape in your mind? Can I put a grape? Can I ha a grape in your mouth?

So then Coach and Schmid of course do the most by making up a lie about all the work Winston does for the community at the Boys and Girls Club with his little brother to Kwine.

But so it was supposed to be Wan and yeah uh.

And what was the other one that I don't know, but it was the two names become.

Da Quan, Yeah, da Quan, which was so funny because Daquan is also the name of like a very popular I'm not sure if it still is a popular I g account with all these memes and stuff like that on it. And we used to always do bits on New Girl about names that start with D and then apostrophe, So we would always go like da Quan DeMarcus, like we would always say, and we would always even when Justin Long was on the show, he would say, like the apostrophe. It was always that, even though it's spelled

Now they have to go and produced Quan, which is amazing. How are they going to get this child?

We get there when we get there.

We'll get there when we get there. I don't even know how standards and practices like navigated what Damon was allowed to do or say in the park scene, but we'll get there when we get there.

Oh my gosh.

So in the hallway, Winston asks about why Jess Breast looks so large. She says it's because of her cycle, which catches Winston off guard because his calendar on her cycle must be way off. Also absolutely insane that he's got a calendar, also insane. But I will say it feels like Winston was ahead of his time to sit there and be like tracking her cycle to know like how to help support her probably that's very fine.

I think this goes back to Mensies. Was Mensies before this or after this? Before before this goes back to Mensies when they were like Trent, when Winston was like, you know, feeling like he was on her cycle. Yeah, he's thinking, yeah, and so maybe he just kept it.

It's still he still has this period every single month. What Dorado says she's gonna follow up with the Boys and Girls Club, coach stops her and makes it alive that the Kwan Feldman always comes to spend his Saturdays at the loft, which is today, and he's gonna leave and go get him.

I love the fact though, that she wasn't just letting it go. It was like, yeah, who is he? Who is the quand oh from this place? Where is he on Saturdays? Why is he not here? Is She's just like like, damn, maybe he's supposed to come at night.

You leave it alone.

So now he has to go out there and hunt.

He has to go out and find a child. All right, we're gonna go to break and then we will be there.

Oh man, okay, we are back. We are back.

This episode the reason I loved I love shooting this episode. I remember it so vividly, and I loved rewatching it is that it's a train, right, It's just one of those episodes where there's no like lull in the joke or the laugh or the like or the stakes of the thing. So just an a storyline, that's all you're getting. You're getting one story going full force and it just keeps building in its absurdity. It's so good. We did a few like this, but this one was my favorite. Okay.

To hide his back sweat slash heart attack that he's having. Yeah, you go back in the bathroom. Now the toilet is overflowing because they're shoving literal rocks.

Yeah, they're shoving rocks. They don't know this, but they're shoving rocks.

Yeah, and it won't flush.

Uh.

And Winstead asked Nick, because at this point, you know there's something happening, right, Dorado can hear it? That's clanging? Goes it's clanging, and and they leave to go figure this thing out, and Nick Moon walks out of the room, which lets Winston know there's something going down. I love that when Schmid barges into the bathroom to figure this out with you guys, he just takes his shirt off.

All the stuff he does around CC is so unhinged and so funny that he's got to rip his shirt off.

I'm glad I didn't have to do that. I am.

So you didn't have a lot of topless scenes.

A few, not a few.

I feel like everybody got a sprinkle, but Max got it a lot.

Yeah, that's that's what he gets.

That's what he gets.

That's what he gets.

Okay, So Whinston discovers the math that just tries to tell him it's legal medical myth for her cramps, which I mean, amazing use for math, if that's what it could be used for.

I don't know. Let's ask let's go to the comments. Let's ask the fans out there. Have you ever used meth for cramps?

If so, have you ever been on your period? And the greatest pain killer was math? And then how did that work for you?

What did the police say? How long are you.

I only use it once a month?

Yeah, for about four days.

Back in the Roomnke is alone with Doronto, which, as we know, is a terrible situation. He's sweating profusely. He starts to sing Landslide, his version all made up with us. She says, his body looks like he's crying, and what is he hiding? And then that unleashes the wildest Nick Miller rant maybe in the show's history. The things. He starts to confess slowly to Dorado.

Yeah, like, what did you say? I once thought, when I was sixteen, I think I can get a direction anymore? I thought I was. I thought it was dead to look on his face when he goes, but it wasn't. It was so perfect, was so perfect.

When he was thirteen, he he'd loved himself behind a post office. Then comes the scene that we have been discussing, which again I don't know how standards and practices in the legal department at Fox helped them navigate. Coach pulling up to basketball courts at the park and trying to explain to young boys why he needs them, wow, just for a short period of time to get in his car.

He got thirteen kids.

And then he's gets written this thing where he's got to go and pick a kid up from the park. And they had to dance that line so finely, and somehow it works. Somehow it's not like inappropriate or not funny. They just managed to sell it enough. And I always say that's the magic I feel like of Damon Wayne's junior man, there's just something where you watch him and he can just get away with some stuff because you know he's like good hearted.

He I man, he has written some of the funniest, most disturbing tweets I have ever. They're so funny and like and it, but it's him, so you're like, you just gotta laugh at it. And one of his tweets a long time ago was like I forget what it was. It was like real men ship standing up. Oh that's right.

I remember that he was unhinted on Twitter. That's for sure when Twitter was a thing.

Oh man, so good, so funny sez.

He then decides to totally mess with Schmidt because he's kind of been messing with her a little bit, and

And I love the fact that right afterwards we cut back to Nick continuously continuing to spew out all of his secrets.

What does he say, uh, the blemons in his mother's mouth when she's sleeping. What are you doing? Because this is the stuff, you know, all this stuff came from the writer's room, and they were all real things that people probably confessed about, like being young and like what felt like high stake secrets at the time that you've just carried around in the back of your brain for sure.

Oh my god, putting a lemon in your mouth, that's I don't know why, that's that's weird. That's weird. Bro was a corner flakes would feed corn flakes of certain animals and some of them would die.

So's so terrible. Oh God, like that the sign of like a serial killer?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I cut If we ever do this reunion that you know that twentieth is talking about, They're trying to they're trying to get it done. Now they're still negotiating with Jake Johnson on his fee. But if we ever get that off the ground, I do believe Nick would be the whole the whole, the whole season would be about trying to get him out of prison because of a series of bodies out of a cup.

Bines they we're going to find out in the New Girl Freezer. I will say this, I've always thought it's a real pie in the sky thing that there would ever be a reunion. And I don't know why. Last week, out of nowhere, I was like, I think we're gonna do one one day. I think it's going to happen. We all are so genuinely close, we all are such genuine friends. The fan base is still there, thanks guys, And I'm like, yeah, there's a little life in it left that could be kind of fun.

Yeah, I think so. I think. I mean, listen, I like, I've always said I'd totally be down for it, but you know, I was going to be honest about it. I don't think they're going to do it.

You don't think they'll ever do it. It would all be Liz. It would have to be Liz being like, hey, guys want to get back together.

Liz is making hit after hit, hit after hit. She's like, you know, she she ain't got the time.

Maybe if it's like a Golden Girls version, we do it in like forty years, we're all sitting on the couch. I don't mind grandparents in it, all right. So Winston asked Jess why she hid the math from him, and Jess says she didn't come to Winston because she didn't think he'd make it as a cop, which is brutal.

Which is brutal because he doesn't think it all because now it's kind of it's kind of it's kind of out there that everybody, like, no one thought he was able to do. No one believed in him in this one, in this moment. But he's going to do the right thing, which is what he always does. Yeah, you know what, I'm gonna say, it's mine, So I'm not gonna get the job anyway. I don't want you to lose your job.

It's a big one eighty.

It's say a huge one eighth. Dorado says she's gonna go to the bathroom, she's gonna have a look around, and she wants them to stay put, don't move, don't think about moving. If you if you think about anything, it better be about not moving.

She goes full mom on them, and it's so great, full.

Mom and I'm shocked they stayed because when I go full mom on Lily, you're too nice of a mom. Tone down, I would get in the tone, but she just she know me, like she's just like, what a joke.

She's also a woman and you're a man. Yeah, you have no chance. You're helpless.

I know, yeah, I know. She's too cute. Oh my god, is this why Dad's leave?

Nobody respects me? Okay, So Winston always had visions of a partner named Robertson slept with his wife.

I mean, this was his imagination.

This was like wild what he daydreams about.

Well, listen, you gotta think about the whole thing. You got to map out everything, because what's going to happen if Robertson shows up and his wife is bad and she's given you the eye and then Robertson's always hot on the case so he never got time to be hod on his wife's hands.

I like that you are also spending time thinking about this.

This is not just a witch thing. She gotta be taken care of.

Bring up. Nick says, for whatever it's worth, he kept a secret. I like how he's trying to make this about him. Schmid apologizes to Cec for kissing her, and Cec admits that she may have kissed him a little too. Another cute little building block and getting these two back together, which apparently Winston is very invested in. Nick tell just teels Nig to live his life while she's in prison. Just Dourrado comes in to this true gang of idiots yes.

And says, uh gang, this ain't no myth uh an aquarium rocks.

He all is dumb as rocks.

Even Just still thinks that's the street name for it.

So invested in the lies she's been telling herself for so long. And then Doroto does the most wonderful thing. She goes Winston, you pass the background check because you are one of the best cadets that we have.

That's right. There's something about being a grown man and they call you a cadet. I don't know why. I don't like it feels weird. It feels like a cadet, feels like a kid.

Like a child does feel like a kid.

Maybe Whiston just joined the police too late.

It's twenty years behind everybody else. Yeah, of course he's the best. He's a grown man, children's that's right.

He's a cat.

We wonder why he's so good. He can tie his own shoelaces.

This man is an elder. Dorado also tells him to move out of the law.

This is sound advice. This is sound advice.

I love that he's still compacts to electrical socket electrical socket to try to make life.

He can't stop telling the truth. It's also hysterical. But he did keep the one truth a secret, so he's not wrong. But I guess if that's your coping mechanism, is that your body feels compelled to tell the truth and now everybody knows all this embarrassing stuff about you. To let you hold onto the one thing it's not bad.

I tell everything else. And then Coach, I love this part, and it's like it's over right. The day is saved. We figured it out. Everything's fine. And then Coach comes in at the best time with a grown man with the I think Marcus Ray is his name. He's so funny. This dude, this dude comes in and kills it. He is Kwan. He just calls wiss.

He absolutely kills it. And then the romantic like romance moment between Coach and.

De Kwan Yes with their love of outlet malls is like a.

Chef's kiss of a button that they made it work. The most problematic, uncomfortable thing turns out to just be a grown man romance of the outlet thing that they

Oh yes, oh yes, we'll be right back. Let's talk more about it. Ed we are back, Hey babe, yeah, babe, let's mess around. A little come on question for you. Where would you have hit myth if you only had a few minutes before the police arrived.

Well, I just would like to say this because I'm discussing, like I don't know what, Like, if meth looks like huge aquarium rocks, it would feel insane, you do think because of movies. Oh, we flush it down the toilet. You do think that. And then if they're like rocks, that's a problem. The other thing you learn from movies is to put it in like the you take the top of the back of the toilet off.

Uh yeah, but the police know that they see movies too.

This is what I would do, though I wouldn't know. I wouldn't think of any I wouldn't know what to do. If it's a few minutes, I would assume just get it out, like out of the house, somewhere, hide it somewhere behind a plant or something.

You know what I would do if if you would do it, I would snort all the myth or smoke it. No, what you do is and this is simple. This is just for all those people out there. This is very simple. You put it in and they could have easily figured out it wasn't method. They would have just done this method. They take a blender, right, you fill the blender half with water, and you bore some of the meth in there, and you throw some like oranges in there, and you blend.

It up creatine protein powder, and you.

Blend them all up in the thing and just leave that in the fridge or right there on the countertop. Everybody knows, don't drink it. Everybody knows that.

Feels very white. This is how they almost all died in white lotus.

Almost the dad was on some shady stuff. He didn't tell them. But this time you're telling the family, hey, this will kill you or get you real hot. Don't don't mess with this. And the police come in. They search the old house. I'm not going to check the smoothie.

Very good?

Actually, yeah, you blended it all up. They're not going to do that.

What if they go, oh, you just make the smoothie. So yeah, they're like, oh, could I have some?

You're gonna be like, no, it's from my cramps. I got special supplements.

I'm a man on my period. This is a cramp smoothie officer.

Oh my gosh, this is how I take my dementsion medication. I blend it up.

You don't want these falling apart at the end. But I do like the idea of the smoothie though. It's giving me a White Lotus moment where you just spend sticket in the sink and then like someone comes along and it's like that was the part of White Lotus that bug me by the way, that crusty, dirty like smoothie thing like you would.

Yeah, you don't wash it out, bro, what's wrong with you?

It was a very weird choice.

Listen. I like Mike White, I don't like him that much because he hasn't put me in White Lotus.

You know you're gonna be in White Lotus next season.

There's no way these stories are mostly about white families. The main there's there's one black person and then maybe her son shows up.

You could have been her son.

I mean, I'm just saying no, I'm the same age as as woman talking about I'm not even convinced that kid was young enough to be her son.

I would just like to remind you that I shot a pilot, okay, or Elizabeth Hurley was my mom. All things are possible in television, okay. Because the most gorgeous, beautiful woman who definitely looks younger than I played her daughter.

That's crazy.

It is crazy. By the way, I've never in my entire life, and we all know the Prince story, but I've never in my entire life felt more flattered than when they cast me as Elizabeth Hurley's daughter. On every level, it hit as the greatest compliment of my life. I love her so much. I love you so much, Elizabeth Hurley, I love you.

I love you too. Call me. Okay.

This was essentially a job interview for Winston Gone Wrong. What's the worst job interview you've ever had? I know mine?

You know yours? Yeah, I mean I can tell you mine mine. I can't. I never had a bad actual job interview, you know, when you go in and you try to apply for something, you get applicated. I've never had a bad one of those, Like I've if I applied, I got the job. What it was. I look at acting as you know, auditions as job interviews.

Oh God, if you're opening that door, then I've got a bunch.

Well, I got a few. I there's one that my ego got in the way. It was recently I had to audition for this is the other day for an m Night Shyamalan film. Yeah, and it pissed me off so much that I had to read and this is just this is what I say ego because it wasn't that big of it was. It was like you know when you're fresh off on like a big award and you're like, oh, maybe they should make it offer. It's like no, they're like, you still have to put yourself

Got all in your own way. Do you remember that you and I hung out with M. Night?

I never hung out with them.

With me When in New York we went to an after party at Upfronts in New York. I don't remember what hotel we were at. Where at the bar? He was there with something with the show, and we were at the bar together chatting with M. Knight for like a bunch of the night.

Well, he don't give a shit about.

He's like, I've already met this man, I've already had a meeting with him. He was lovely. We hung out at the bar and chatted all night, and.

He just gave the role to a British guy.

It's like.

The Brits, they just they just take over, don't they.

Yeah, No, I never hung out with him.

Well, well listen, Hannah, you call.

Him and be like, you made a mistake, but no problem, I'll make that.

But but my real one. I auditioned for Chuck Lourie once for Mike and Molly. I want to say that show Mike and Molly, and I had the worst audition of my life. It was just it was so bad that when I walked out of the audition my agent was calling me. By the time I got to my car, my agent had called me and was like, what happened.

I was like, are you unwell? I was like, I'm so say.

I didn't know what happened. I just you know what it is. I never look people up. I never look up who they are, what they look like. So when people are in a room, I'm not phased by it. Like I'm not phased by it. This was the first time I said, you know what, I know Chuck Laurie. Obviously the name you watch TV shows, the name is behind all of them. So I just googled what Chuck Laurie looked like, and I was like, oh, that's Chuck

It is amazing when you think back to auditions, because I remember for Hunger Games they brought me in. This was a billion years ago. And I went in and I had the worst day ever. I think i'd like broken up with my boyfriend. It was just like a really bad day. It was a super early audition. Sorry, yeah, yeah, god God, I don't think we can make that joke any.

Yeah, pick anybody else, it's yay. Now.

I feel like I walked in and it was just one of those things. It's exactly what you just said. The first line came out wrong, and then I had so much other just life stuff happening that then you know when you like fully disassociate. So I was out of my body.

Yeah.

So there's this girl just sitting there saying stuff. Now I don't know what she's doing, and I'm fully just like, I gotta get out of this room. I think I did a full this is association and it was the worst audition. I could not could not remember a line. And I will say it's the one thing I know since I've been young, is like a natural gift I have. I can memorize anything. You can give me a book and give me like a day, I will memorize the book.

Dark place.

I went to a dark place. I know what a mistake hunger game, that was huge. I should have I should have gotten over that ex boyfriend way quicker work life all right. Last thing, how do you think Jess would have made out if she did go to jail?

She would have been fine.

She would have been a star inmate.

They'd have loved her, They would they would have liked Some people would have tried to take advantage and initially, but she would have been so genuine that people would have been like, huh.

She would have croucheted them, you know, blankets and make little tea corners and she would have It would have been a very sweet experience. I think she would have been Okay, yeah, oh yeah, we're not concerned. Send her friend to jail. She would have been great, Bye, You're going to have a great time.

She comes out with tattoos on her face. She comes up part of the area nation.

So what we're saying is for the reunion. So Jess has got like tattoos, comes out of heart, and criminal Nick is going down for being a serial killer. We're really pitching, Liz. We got some ideas.

Yeah, I think those work fans let us know us would have made out in prison.

Um, all right, everybody. One of my favorite favorite episodes of all time. It was so fun to rewatch. I forgot how good it was. Cleo King, he's the queen Man. She was amazing.

Marcus Ray is de Kwan so funny, so great. Yeah, Hey, guys, listen, thank you for listening. Make sure you follow us on ig at the mess Around pod. You know, if you're on YouTube, hit that notification, bell like it, subscribe, do all those fun things that people do. When you do that, it helps us out. We love you bye.

That was the mess around in iHeartMedia production.

Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our senior producer is Abu Zafar Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.

Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson.

Catch you next time. Bye,