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Hello. Hello. I have kind of a lot coming up, so I'm trying to keep it manageable and direct of my question. Exactly. I think the biggest part yesterday was the cycles coming up and shifting between the nervous system states. When I was very
young, I learned to go straight to the freeze, so that's my tendency. Yep. And then noticing yesterday how somatic I know I'm very somatic sensitive, when how somatic I know I'm very somatic sensitive, like, sensitive somatically where I feel so much physically in my body that follows. So or physical sensations? Physical. So Okay. When something emotional happens, I physically Got it. Feel it so strong. Yep. And kind of working through unraveling and uncoupling that has
been a process and journey. So, my question is, when I'm stepping into being an entrepreneur and I have these tendencies and these cycles that are so strong, where I've been working on this for over 2 years, specifically the nervous system and these traits, I find myself very stuck in healer and very stuck in achiever. So both of them kinda
going like this. And so when I'm basically so desperate for a breakthrough or to have forward progress, but it's kinda that push and pull between those 2, do you have any advice for kinda how to manage that or navigate that better? It depends on where you wanna go. What's your outcome? It's kinda like you're asking me for directions, but, like, are you do you wanna go to New York or Miami or Los Angeles or Austin or Hawaii or Bali?
Like like, where do you wait. What's your goal? Where do you wanna be? What's your outcome that you're going for? How will you know you're successful if you've integrated those two things? I would like to be more resilient in my nervous system. And how will you know that's happening? Having a larger capacity to handle minor stressors or not going resorting straight to the freeze so much. Okay. Kinda that. I guess, more of the
collapse that happens. Got it. And if you weren't in freeze, what would you be doing? I would be productive. That's just, like, for example, what? Continuing spending time working on my business. And specifically doing what? Right now, I would be working on social media and writing my Okay. So it sounds like you're going dorsal when you think about going on social media. Yes. Is that right? Yeah. Now what I love about your question is if you notice, like we
went from very broad to very specific. Right. And again, I'm a, I'm a be playful. Okay. So like, if you think about it, the real question you're asking me is, I'm avoiding social media. I kinda go dorsal. How do I get back to some type of eventual state so I can be consistent online? That's basically what you're asking me. Is that right? Because that's gonna have a cascade of other effects for you. Right? Like clients and success
and growth and followers and all that type of stuff. Is that am I getting that right? Generally, yes. I Cool. Kind of the background, like, you know, there's a lot going on in my life unexpectedly. So and I'm juggling so much. It's That's that's even though I'm I'm juggling so much. It's That's that's separate, though. Overwhelmed. But yeah. Yeah. I I understand. I understand that. But but, basically, even if the overwhelm wasn't
there, if you weren't going dorsal Right. And all that stuff was there, then you could be consistent. Right? And then you could grow. Then you could have clients. Then you could be successful in business. That's kind of the the the if I could get down to the sort of the the meat of, like, you're what you're saying is is that so much is happening that you're going dorsal and you're not able to do this thing you know is very important
in your business. Is that right? Yes. Okay. Now what I love about your question is if you think about, from the beginning of the question, how much language we're using that's, like, very generalized about, like, the nervous system and dorsal and all these different types of things, which makes sense because that's you're you're in reclaiming your nervous system and we're here talking about the nervous system with a lot of words. But at the end of the day, it's like there's this kinda one
thing that you wanna be doing to move the needle forward. Right? And I remember one time, we were on a retreat and, had a client and they're asking questions. It was we're talking about relationships. Right? And she was like, okay. So, like, I wanna feel like the abundance of the universe and just, like, divine love. I'm like, what the does that mean? Let me talk about divine love. I don't
really know what you're what you're talking about. You know, like when, like, just the heartbeat of the universe is just like pulsing and like, you feel it and just like divinity surrounds you And you're just like one with everything. And you're like, you just know who you are and you know that you are everything. I'm like, okay. But like, how would you know that would be the case? And then I got her more and more and more and more and
more and more specific. Right? And when we got like super specific, she's like, I just want my husband to hug me. Right? And I was like, okay. Like, he's right there. You wanna ask for a hug? And they hugged. It was like, it was beautiful and funny, all these things. Right? And so what the first thing we wanna try to exercise is and you're doing great by the way, is we wanna try to be specific with behaviors that we wanna do or not do. Right? So for you, it's
about that consistency. Okay? So what we know is you automatically are going to go dorsal. That's just the rehearsed process, right? So if anything kind of stresses you beyond capacity, boom, straight to dorsal one, you're a mammal. You have a dorsal vagal complex. That makes sense. You have Allostatic load. There's all these other things coming on. So what we wanna focus on is the reregulation part. Oh, look who's there. Miss Baker. Love that.
Animals have beautiful timing for things sometimes. He needs to regulate his nervous system as well, but I understand. That's a separate topic. Yeah. Yeah. So so so so it's about the reregulation. It's about the strategy for when you go dorsal, what's your plan? Very basic idea would be body doubling. Right? Where, like, you have consistent time where you're with someone in ProsperX, you guys are on Zoom or something like that together.
Right? And you're just there together. Like, most of our successful clients have some of the body doubling set regularly with other clients, that are in ProsperX because they're working on the same stuff. Right? And just having somebody else there. Right? There's a lot of research that says even if you're looking at a hill and you're by yourself, if you're standing next to your
friend, the hill looks easier. Right? So it could just be something simple like scheduling body doubling, which is a came out of the neurodivergent literature around, like, helping people with autism or ADHD or dyslexia. Like, I'm in that category. Like, just do certain things. Now what's interesting is there's certain things that I can I don't need anybody else to do? Right? Like, I can, like, I don't know, cook a meal by myself or I can, like, I don't know, like, write
stuff by myself or make slides for days by myself. Right? But, like, there's certain things that I need help with and it's scary to do. Right? Like, for example, like making reels for social media, I don't like doing that by myself. Right? So, like, I usually do that with somebody else.
And so if you know your nervous system enough to say, okay. There's lots of areas where I don't need that coregulation or that support, but there's certain areas, especially when it comes to business, that are important for sales and marketing. Right? Let me be intentional about finding support there, maybe scheduling some body doubling sessions with some, some people inside ProsperX and or just telling people I'm struggling with this area and
designing in co regulation for that area. Does that make sense? Because when you do it by yourself and when you go dorsal and when you know you're gonna go dorsal, right, it's self neglecting not to schedule things to interrupt that pattern moving forward. Right? If you know you're gonna do it. Does that make sense? Right? So just having somebody else there who's a safe other person, and with with the body doubling, you don't have to talk. You're just there together with each other.
Right? The other thing that you can do is you can chunk your time. So for me, usually after, like, 6 5 or 6 PM every day, it's like circadian depression. It's just like like there's something about the day ending that makes me feel sad, like everyone's leaving or whatever. Right? Because I have this one part that feels very abandoned. Right? And so, like, I schedule social shit during that time on on on purpose. Right? Because I know, like, up
until 5, like, leave me the fuck alone. I'm being creative. I'm good. I'm crushing it. I'm rocking my life. I'm having meetings. I'm doing the things I need to be doing, but, like, regular life, not like seminar life. Right? But regular life, like, when I'm on a regular schedule, like, after 5 or 6, like, that's when I wanna hang out with friends. That's when I wanna go out
for walks with people. That's where I wanna go do more social things. And I know that about myself because what will happen otherwise is I'll sit by myself and be sad. Does that make I just know that. It's just like it's just I I know what's going to happen. Like, I know, like, I know, like, I know, like, I know. I go to a soul cycle class. I'll go do some,
like, longevity stuff. Like, I'll go be with a friend. Whatever it might be, if if I know that that's gonna happen basically daily, right, then it's self neglecting not to interrupt that pattern. Right? So you know that you go dorsal. So if you know you go dorsal, we can use moments like this to go, well, here's where I normally go dorsal. Let me, like, reach out to some Prosperx members and maybe set up some body doubling stuff. Like, a lot of our Prosperx members do that.
Let me, set up specific times during the day where maybe I feel the most energized and plan ahead and chunk a specific period of time to maybe record and or schedule things. Right? If there's certain times a day where you're feeling more regulated. And the thing about social media is is that, like, it's such a distraction in so many ways if you if you're a consumer of it. But if you're a publisher, it's a tool. Right? But you can schedule stuff, whether it if it's on Instagram, it's
like Facebook business manager or on the app. I prefer Facebook business manager. Right? We can schedule, like, stuff out for, like, a week, 2 weeks, months, like, wherever it might be, where you have this burst of energy, and then it gets scheduled. And then eventually, you can grow a team to help you do that as well. But it's about looking at your cycles of energy.
If you look at the cycle that you wanna break and you can notice, like, this is where I tend to feel this way around these circumstances, these triggers, where I don't have help in this area, it might just be 1 or 2 tiny tweaks of your schedule to say, boom. This is how I'm gonna interrupt dorsal. Right? Like, for me, if I have, like, a 6 o'clock dinner or a 6 o'clock walk with somebody, something very basic, it, like, creates
this, like my brain is, like, so crazy. It's like I go to, like, biochemistry. I'm like, okay. So at 6 o'clock, I'm gonna have down regulated serotonin, down regulated oxytocin. So I'm gonna schedule a 6 o'clock thing with this person that's gonna up regulate my serotonin, up regulate my oxytocin, and blah blah blah blah blah. And that will have a cascading effect for this many hours, and they can go to sleep and not be sad. Like, that's how my brain works.
Right? But it's like it's like the idea is is to be able to look at look at, like, your rhythm and go, this area right here, this moment, this time, this is what messes me up this moment, this person, this time of year. Right. And then also I have such respect for every woman here because the thing that men don't ever get and will never understand is what a female cycle is like. Right? It's like, it's almost like
my observation of it after working with so many women. Like I've never experienced it, but observation of it is, it's like you finally kind of feel normal and it all starts all over again. And it's just highly disregulated in and of itself. So there's also a a larger pattern of looking at your cycle. Is it the luteal phase? Like, what phase are you in, right, throughout the month? And then there's different biochemistry
associated with different phases. Right? Like, when you're, like when when you're, like, the bleeding phase, for example, like, that's not you don't have a lot of testosterone or go mode energy. That's probably not the time to schedule a launch or something intense. Right? But during that time, your left and right hemispheres of your brain are, like, more connected than they are and, like, great time for planning. Right? So, like, there's different biochemistry associated with different cycles,
female cycles as well, where men, we just have testosterone. It just goes. Right? And our society is set up as if everybody just has testosterone all month long. Right. And so being in more rhythm with your body is, is important. And one of my friends who teaches women about their cycles, this is not me saying shit, but she said this, and I I I don't know if this is true because obviously I don't have a cycle. I've never experienced it, but she said it and I'd never forgot it. So that landed for
me. She said, I found that the quality of my of my period, the quality of my of my of my moon cycle, like, when I'm in that stage, reflects my self care for the month, which I thought to be very interesting. I don't know if that's a universal statement, but this, one of my friends who teaches this stuff said that to me, and I thought, that's a very interesting thing for somebody to say, and I never forgot it. But what we're talking about is rhythms and patterns. Right? And you have different
rhythms and patterns than other people. Right? You specifically, you versus other women, you versus, you know, people who just have testosterone all day, every day. Right? You with what's happening around you. Right? You with the stress that's coming on and and like that you're choosing into for your social media and stuff like that. So if you can take a moment to go, this is my general pattern of the month.
These are the things that tend to take me out. What's 1 or 2 things I could insert into my schedule to make it less dorsal? Body doubling, getting support or asking for help from the people around me. Right? Like, maybe it's, like, having time to be more social. Maybe it's boundary setting. Right? But if you really looked at the pattern, the way you've done it won't help you create the way you want it to be. Does that make sense?
What what's coming to mind as I'm saying all those things? So what? What you're saying makes a lot of sense. One of like, kind of the curveball to this for me is a few years ago well, in 2018, I found out I have celiacs, and I would have these horrible reactions almost constantly. And so I'm a lot I'm a lot better from that now that I know. But, obviously, sometimes I accidentally have gluten, and I would have these really intense almost like a cytokine storm where it's just
released and unleashed out of my nervous system. And I go down. I have to sleep for, like, 3 hours. I have a migraine. I have, like, a hangover feeling after. Well, those have become less in terms of gluten. But now I'm noticing it's happening emotionally as well as just randomly from biotoxin illness and all these other things from chronic illness I have. So a lot of mine when I go dorsal is that reaction that happens. And I've noticed, especially lately, the last couple weeks, I'm a lot more
stressed, and I'm having them almost daily. Yeah. So even yesterday in the shifting nervous system states, I had a reaction and, like, fell asleep for a little part of it. Yes. And to me, that's a lot of the emotional piece that makes it a lot harder. Well and and and now you're getting down to, like, is it celiac or is it suppressed emotion? And,
like, I don't have medical answers. Right? But I do recall Yeah. A client I I do recall a call a client one time, and we were talking about, like, I don't remember, like her ideal client avatar, something that was hard for her. Right? And she got all mad at me. She's like, Madison, don't do this shit. Like, it's hard for me to think about this. Like, I have Lyme disease. Like, don't do this to me. Right? And I'm like sitting here like, oh, gee. I'm
so sorry. Right? And she's, like, I just can't think about it. I can't plan. I I just don't really know. I'm, like, okay. So I change the subject. I get her talking about planning her son's birthday party. She gets lit up like a Christmas tree. She's got executive function for days. She's like, I could do this. I could do this. I could do this. I could do this. I could do this. I could do this. I could do this. I'm like, so do
you just have Lyme disease when it comes to your business or, like, what? You're like because it doesn't seem like you have it when it comes to your son. Like, I don't understand. Is it like like, tell me more. Right? And it was really interesting because there is an emotional component to
things. And, yes, like, intolerances and and allergies and reactions and all those things, autoimmune things are, like, are they're serious business, and and and they put you really in touch with so many different parts of what's happening on the inside. The thing to do is to start to track what you're feeling when and try to figure out what's the thing that caused it. Right? And sometimes you can't get rid of the thing that caused it because you're ambitious and you wanna grow a
business. So it's about how do I manage it? How do I resource? How do I get the nutrition that I need? Whether it's like more oxygen, more relationship, better food, relational context, and relational nutrition. There's lots of different types of nutrition. Right? But we wanna start to look at, like, what's the what's activating, and what caused the activation? Right? So yesterday, that makes sense. Like, we did some activating work,
so you got activated, and you had a response. That makes sense. Right? So it's not like you're gonna be doing that every day. But you also came back, and you're you're working through emotions that have been hard to feel that probably aren't related to a gluten intolerance, but they might be commingling. Does that make sense? Yeah. Right? And so that's that's
further distinctions. Like, yesterday, when we were looking at emotions, somatics, and mindset, right, one of the things we didn't talk about was, like, you know, allergies and stuff like that. That's a whole other component that has a biochemistry to it as well. And so if you can start to separate out, okay. This is the gluten thing. This is the emotion thing. This is the somatic thing, and these are the things that are that are triggering it. It's like, okay.
Well, we can remove gluten, but keep your business. Does that make sense? Right? We can do your business, but not as alone. I can start to set body doubling, and I can start to know that, like, when I do these specific things, I go dorsal. So it's about becoming aware of those larger cycles within your month, basically, and starting to notice, okay. This was tied to this. This was tied to this. This was tied to this. And if we
can eliminate gluten, great. And if we can start to plan ahead for the things, like, in your business where you know you're gonna increase stress, plan ahead for self care, plan ahead for recovery, plan ahead for body doubling, things like that, then you're gonna be going through it because you're going through it. You're ambitious. You want more. You're gonna go through it, but we can go through it more intelligently. Does that make sense? With more pattern recognition. That's what
I mean. Not not not about how smart you are. It's about the patterns that you're recognizing about how you do things Because you're taking on more than you've taken on before. Right? And you met us through the context of business. Now you're experiencing some of the personal development side of things that we do. Right? And the nervous system side of things we do, which is a huge piece of business also, obviously. Right? We have to figure
that out for business too, which is why you're here. So I think if you can have more pattern recognition for the level you're trying to create, for the cycle you're trying to create and what's blocking you, that's gonna really level you up in lots of ways. And when you have these different reactions, if you have a little bit more self compassion and patience with yourself and let the people know around you what's happening so you're not doing
it by yourself, that could be powerful too. I remember one time a couple years back, I got COVID, and I had all the boosters and then all the things, all the vaccines and all the things. And, like, it took me out for, like, 2 weeks, like, straight. 2 weeks straight. And then I was I felt like I didn't have a brain for, like, 6 months. I, like, lost 6 months of 2020 3 for 6 months. I was just like an idiot. I just couldn't think. Right.
So like, I had to like deal with that. And I had to like up so many protocols to take care of myself and thank God that's something, you know, in the past. Right. But, like, that I just had to change my expectation of what I was capable of doing at that time based on my actual physiology. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then try to be an asshole to yourself. You're exactly in the right place. Thank you. I love it. You're so good. So good.