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I think some people, when we talk about nervous system regulation, think that nervous system regulation means you're not gonna be triggered and you're gonna be calm, and that's not what it means. A regulated nervous system and a flexible nervous system is something that you have that can take a hit without being taken out. Right? And that allowed Tom Brady to take a hit and not be taken out to the flexible fascia, body, muscle structure, all the
different type of stuff. And so if you think about it, the next level is gonna have triggers. Next level of your love life, the next level of your relationships, the next level of your business, there are going to be triggers there. Okay? But we wanna make it more flexible, have more capacity because bigger goals hear me now. Bigger goals, bigger dreams, okay, and a bigger purpose requires a more flexible nervous system with a
greater capacity. Who follows? This makes sense? Bigger goals, your ambition, your desire for more requires a more flexible nervous system with more capacity. So you're getting the same results in your business, in your relationship, in your health because of that inflexible nervous system that has less capacity. And so why this is so important is because when we think about all the modalities that are out there, right, the different there's so many therapy modalities.
Okay? Coaching modalities, energy healing modalities, yoga and meditation modalities, breath work, neurolinguistic programming, all those modalities. Okay? They're really not effective without a flexible nervous system. Because if you think about it, if you're doing something but you don't feel safe enough, is it really gonna work? I don't think so. Right? And there's no breath work or medication that can replace safety. Right? That's
just that's just not that's just that's not a thing. Okay? So what's missing is feeling safe enough and feeling safe enough about the past, feeling safe enough about the present, and feeling safe enough about expanding into the future. Who follows? Does this make sense? So what we need to create is safety in all three time zones. And so no matter your background, creating a flexible nervous system is
the key to unlocking your true potential. That's the key, is having a flexible nervous system with more capacity. Okay? And what's interesting is if you really think about it, if you think about the times in your life when you've needed to change your life, okay, change, the desire to change tends to happen when we hit rock bottom. Isn't it true? Right? If you think about, like, you hit an emotional threshold, you say, you know what? No more. I'm done. Right? Or I finally say
yes. Right? There's a there's an emotional threshold that we hit. Okay? So what that means is, right, if we're in a bottom, we're also probably trying to regulate in a way that's not best for us. Right? Now you probably have given up low level coping, low level regulation. Like, you're probably not deep into addiction, deep into alcohol, deep into drugs, deep into sexual harm, you know, crushing high fructose
corn syrup or lots of inflammatory foods. You're probably not doing that low level coping. Right? Because what happens is, right, we give up this stuff. It's like, okay. I'm not gonna mess around with that stuff. I'm not gonna mess around the low level coping. I'm gonna have better coping. But what happens is without the nervous system flexibility and the nervous system work. Right? You get higher level of coping, but you
still don't get the results that you're going for. And what happens is you end up dismissing your nervous system single signals. So high level coping would be like quantified self apps, tracking your sleep, all type of stuff. Great. But can be a major, major, major distraction. Yoga, yoga apparel. Right? Cognitive behavioral therapy, balance and behavioral therapy, tapping, all that stuff can be a way to cope. Right?
Most of the top down approaches, those mindset approaches, right, dismissing your nervous system where it's not safe to move forward. Okay? So it's important to recognize that you probably made your way here because you hit a threshold in your high level coping strategy. And I hate that term, by the way. I want a thriving
strategy. I don't just want a coping strategy. I want a thriving strategy. Right? But the problem is high level coping is kinda like a pressure cooker where you have the you have the pressure, and it builds up, and then you release it. Right? And you close it back up, but the pressure builds back up because you're not addressing the cause. You're not addressing the nervous system and its signals. Right? And when we have those top down strategies, they're not bad. We need to
have top down strategies, but we also need to upgrade in our approach. And so what this means is the old message is something like this. Okay? You have to self regulate. And in health care, if you're not able to self regulate, we're gonna medicate you or pathologize you. We're gonna give you a label. Right? In coaching, you have to self regulate or you're in a story or a limiting belief. Right? In therapy, you might be having a distortion
of thinking. Right? And it's this, like, kinda like, shameful language, basically. It's kinda like something's wrong with you is what it implies, right, if you can't self regulate. But that's not what the neuroscience suggests because the old model hear me now. The old model focuses on doing it yourself. It just encourages all of us to be, to be these lone wolves, basically. Right? And we can't do things on our own. That's not how it works. Right? So in a way, the old model trains you that
self care is also avoidance of the actual thing. I don't wanna I don't wanna do the nervous system work. I don't wanna befriend my parts. I don't wanna do that stuff. I wanna breathe it away. I wanna push it away. Let me change my state. And all that stuff is beautiful, but if we don't actually deal with the root, then it's never really gonna shift or change. And so the old thought the old model slogan might be something like this. Right? Change my
thoughts, change my life. Right? Now do we need to change your thoughts? Sure. But if it was only that if that's all we had to do, nobody would have a problem. It'd be super simple. Right? The other thing is now I'm a coach. I'm not a medical professional at all. Okay? I believe in my heart of hearts that a diagnosis, like, for me, I have a ADHD diagnosis,
right, is not an identity. Right? If you really think about, like, the purpose of a diagnosis, the purpose of a diagnosis is for insurance purposes primarily. Right? That's the primary purpose of a diagnosis. The problem is in the old model, you get a diagnosis, you create a name for the symptoms like ADHD or PTSD or whatever it might be. Right? And then you blame the name. So it's like, here's your diagnosis, ADHD, and then it's like, oh, I can't because I have ADHD.
Right? I can't because I'm neurodivergent. Right? And I'm super neurodivergent. I have three types of diagnosed ADHD and dyslexia. Like, I have high levels of neurodivergence in my system. Right? But I don't use that label as a reason why I can't move forward. Right? I use it to inform myself and understand how I'm wired, but I don't wanna blame that name who follows. Does this make sense? We wanna be informed, but we don't wanna use
it as a scapegoat. Right? And so the practitioners who are doing this stuff, they're not bad, but we need to upgrade in our approach. And if you think about it, the term mental health, just that term alone, leaves out the body. The number one best selling book on trauma is called The
Body Keeps the Score, not The Brain Keeps the Score. Right? And so we have to start to think about everything that's happening in your system, everything that's happening in your life as a response to something that you've been through rather than the disorder. Right? We wanna understand that there's a trauma response of some kind. There's a nervous system protective response of some kind. And when we realize that, we recognize that, we could really start to shift and
change things at a really, really powerful level. Because if you think about it, right, if the term mental health leaves out the body, and this is a response, not a disorder, I want you to think about this. Right? What would it feel like to call, for example, for me, as an example, to call my ADHD, ADHR, attention deficit hyper reactivity response, right, PTSR, post traumatic stress response. What does that feel like in your body? To me, it feels like I can do
something with that. It feels like I have hope. I'm like, I'm not being judged or blamed. Right? Who follows? Does this make sense? Right? So and, also, if we can start to contextualize these things as a protective response that meant to kept you safe based on something that you went through, well, we can now understand how to help you move forward in a completely different way rather than making it wrong. So what happens is nervous system inflexibility
limits your options. Does that make sense? Right? We just don't have the flexibility that we need to be able to grow, to scale, to reach the next level, to to to to have a healthy relationship and to level up our lives. Right? So what happens is when we don't have nervous system flexibility, we repeat the past. And you ever do this where you do the same thing over and over and over again? There's repetition over and over and over and over
and over? Why am I doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over again? Right? That's because our nervous system is having this inflexible response. And so with nervous system flexibility, that gives you more options, right, to have more, time, more money, more love, more joy, more health, more longevity, right, when we have a more flexible nervous system. Because you can be hear me
now. You can be, do, or have anything once your nervous system feels safe enough to move forward, safe enough to say I love you, safe enough to say I'm out of here, safe enough to say I'm ready to be seen. Safe enough to say, I'm ready to move forward. Safe enough to set the boundary.