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So I want you to think what happens, let's say, if you're lifting weights. Okay? What happens if I give you let's just say, I ask you just to, like, lift, like just like, you know, you take your hand, no weight, and you do a bicep curl. What happens energetically? Do we use a lot of energy or not? Yes or no? Just a just a regular old bicep curl, no weight. Do we use a lot of energy or a little energy? What do you think? Little energy. Okay. What if I put a half pound in there? More or less
energy? Not much more, but still more. What if I put £2 in there? What about £10? Right? What about £500? Right? Okay. So who here gets that the heavier something is, the more energy it takes to move it? Who follows? This make sense? Okay. Now why am I saying this? Because what we know about through polyvagal theory is depending on how hard something is, we drop down in a state. So what this means is when you're regulated, when you're feeling good, you're in a green
state. Right? Coregulation's happening. You're together. There's social engagement. There's connectedness. Right? And that is a, a a a very regulated state. Now regulation doesn't mean you always feel good. You can go in and out of feeling good and stay regulated because, ultimately, a regulated nervous system gets this regulated but can come back to regulation. So it's not about not feeling stressed. It's feeling stressed and, like, how to find your way
back to regulation that creates a regulated nervous system. When something gets harder and we can't cooperate, we drop down from ventral into sympathetic. That's fight or flight. So if I can't, like, negotiate, I can't get help, now I have to, like, do it by myself. I have to make it happen. I have anxiety. I have stress. I have anger. Who follows? This makes sense? Okay. And if it gets even harder and by the way, sympathetic is what? In terms of hormones and and,
neurotransmitters. Anybody know what what what the sympathetic cocktail is? What do we get when we get sympathetic nervous system going? Adrenal fatigue if we have too much of it, but we have cortisol. We have adrenaline. We have glutamate. Those are some of the prime and we have, norepinephrine. Okay. So those are the pros some of the primary that's the primary cocktail of the sympathetic nervous system. The problem with that is
it's metabolically expensive to maintain. Right? So if you think about energy, when you're in yellow, your body's using more energy because it's fighting or fleeing. Right? So we're supposed to have that for short bursts. Okay? So if we either run out of energy or if things get even harder, we then drop from yellow down to red into the dorsal vagal branch, which is dissociation. We think somebody's gonna have imminent life threat. Right?
So we're checked out. We're dissociated. We're not there. Who follows? Does this make sense? Now I don't wanna be too complicated. We can have parts in different states. I don't wanna go down that rabbit hole too much, but you are not just one thing. We could have many we have different parts of different states. You can have certain things you've dissociated from or traumatic memory that's more red, but your day to day is more green. So I don't wanna go down that rabbit hole too much.
But what we wanna understand is this is happening unconsciously at all times based on your nervous system's unconscious assessment of your levels of safety or danger. So you're dropping down in states based on a facial expression, a tone, what you saw on the news, what you're eating, what you're not eating, what you're doing, what you're not doing, what you're ruminating on. You're constantly assessing how much threat you're under. The unconscious assessment of threat or safety,
polyvagal theory calls that neuroception. It's your nervous system's perception. It's your nervous system's perception of safety or danger. Now why in the world why in the world would I be talking about this? Why are we talking about nervous system neuroanatomy? We're talking about sales right now, a a sales strategy. What's that about? Let's just say that I was in a purely sympathetic state. I did not have any ventral on board. Okay? What do you
think it would be like? I'd be, like, nervous or angry, super stressed, not reading the room. What's that feel like to be around? Pushes people away. Okay. Exactly. Anxious, all that stuff. Right? And if I'm super down regulated or sort of checked out and not really present, what's that like to be around? Drag, kinda Eeyore, kinda sad. Who follows? Does this make sense? Okay. Who here had a state change by joining this training? Just by joining the training, you
noticed you you felt different. Let me see by a show of hands. I'm curious. You felt different. You're like, oh, there's other people here. And then who here has had a positive state change because of the state that my nervous system has been in? The excitement, the curiosity, the Tigger energy, the jokes, the irreverence. Right? Talking kind of fast, addressing your protectors, little bit of humor, can't really tell where he's going. Who here's had a different
state change because of my state? I'm curious. Let me see if I show your hands or pop a yes in the chat. Okay? So when we do anything, whether it's, you know, business related, sales related, marketing, or whatever, we're doing our best to really bring our ventral energy to the situation, number 1. Now here's the thing. What state do you think people come to you in if they wanna buy from you? Are they like, oh, I'm so regulated. Just gonna buy. What do you
think? Exactly. Okay? Now if you notice, I'm I'm goating you a little bit into into engagement. Right? I'm trying to get you green. Everything that you do to participate, to raise your hand, that gets you a little bit more green. Okay? So people are coming to you in yellow and red. So if you're trying to make sales from a yellow or red state, it's not gonna work. We and what happens is people come to you in yellow and red, and you're like, oh, you're yellow. Let me be yellow too. Or you're
yellow. Let me be red. Actually, that's kinda scary. Versus knowing that the state is what influences someone far more than anything else who follows. Does this make sense? And so we want our state and who gets this in terms of being a practitioner, by the way? You gotta come to the you gotta come to the session, the therapy, the coaching in a good state. Same thing is true with sales. The problem is people start talking sales and marketing,
their tone starts to drip. They start to drift off. They start to do different things with their eyes. They're they're gonna be a little quieter and stuff like that. Right? And so it's important to recognize that people are coming to you dysregulated all the time. Right? If you think about it, right, the idea of raising your hand for the first time. Right? Maybe all quiet, hide the screen. Right? Eventually, someone says
something, and then boom, puts your hand up. Right? Out from out of the screen. Right? Because she's coming out of yellow into green. Who here has come out of red or yellow into green over the last few hours? Let me see if I show your hands. I'm curious. I can just, like, tell by your engagement with where you are also. Right? If you're having a hard time engaging, that you might be a little bit more in red. No judgment. Little judgment, but no judgment.
Just kidding. A lot of judgment. No. No. No judgment. Okay. So it's see, that was a ventral, vagal moment right there of laughter because I'm just making a commentary on where certain people are at the moment. Right? So it's important to recognize that state matters, and we are always making unconscious assessments of safety or danger at all times. And so what happens is when someone's making a decision to buy, they're also going back and forth between emotion and logic. Right?
And people will buy emotionally and then justify the their their purchase with logic later. Okay? And so what's important to recognize is that if you want to influence anybody to do anything, you can't do it if they feel danger from you. Right? Whether it's a relationship, sales, whatever it might be. Sales are relationships. It's different types. Right? When someone is in a contracted state, you cannot influence them. Does that make sense?
Are we all tracking? Is this making sense so far? And so it's important to recognize that state is, like, is everything. Okay? Now real decisions are made by making reflexes feel safe. What do I mean by that? Okay? So people will have a reflex to go dorsal or sympathetic based on any type of threat. Right? They could be a tiny trigger, and next thing you know who's ever had this happen? Maybe you were hangry at one point, and then you realize that you're kinda like, why am I being
an asshole right now? Oh, I'm hangry. Okay. That makes sense. Who's ever had something that has happened before? Right? Or someone has a certain tone or certain facial expression, and it makes you check out or dissociate. Who's I'm talking about? Who's dissociating right now? If that's you, come on back. Come on back to reality. Come on back. Okay? So it's important to recognize that the goal isn't for people to not go to yellow and red. The muscle is built when you come back from
yellow and red to green. That's the contraction. That's the emotional fitness, if you will. Does that make sense? Okay? And so it's important to recognize in the sales process, especially if you're new at it and you're mostly a practitioner or student, what are you thinking about sales? What's the practitioner
or student feel about sales? Yellow or red? Mostly red. Sales? Ah, I don't wanna manipulate people, and I can't make a bunch of money because that would be greedy and all the different sales stories that we have and why we can't make money. Some of that come from yellow and red states. Who follows? Does this make sense? Okay? And so if you go dorsal or sympathetic during the sales process, you are the CEO of sales prevention in your company. So your state matters.
You have to master and feel as good about sales as you do about helping people and serving them as you do about learning. That's not the same emotional state. Okay? State matters, and neuroception matters. And we have to recognize that we have these different states, red, yellow, and green, and that things happen automatically. So let me just share this with you briefly. Okay? So when we look at neuroception, it's our safety
radar. Okay? What this means is it's built in. It happens unconsciously. It's happening at all times. Nothing you can do about it. Okay? You're not consciously thinking about it, and it's always scanning for safety or danger. And it helps your nervous system react without thought. Because if you had to always think about something before you decided to move, you wouldn't get out of the way of something that you need to get a moving car or fire or you touch something
hot or whatever it might be. Who here's ever just been triggered and you didn't even know you were triggered, but all of a sudden you're just triggered? It's like, where did that come from? Right? That's all neuroception happening. And so when we talk about neuroceptive sales strategies, it's always about state. Now here's what's important to understand. Okay? And, like, this is a this is an entrepreneurial lesson, and it's also a lesson that we
want you to understand for your clients. Okay? And I'm gonna talk to people, especially who are more in the somatic healing world for a second. Okay? Who here believes it's a good thing to have personal agency, to have an internal locus of control, to be able to feel like you can change your life. Who here thinks that's important? Let me see why I show your hands. Okay? When I start talking to people about that, like, yes. Of course. We
want agency. And then the second, the responsibility is yours. People are like, oh, but my part. I can't because of my parts. My my procrastination and my stress, my anxiety, my all these things. Who who else I'm talking about? It's like you want agency, but you blame procrastination. You don't have to. You can procrastinate by raising your hand on that one if you want. Okay? But it's important to recognize that when you're in ventral, you have the ability to choose. That's when
you're in ventral, you have the ability to choose. Yellow and red are reflexes. They're not choices. They're choices unconsciously. Okay? They're they're rehearsed reflexes. Okay? And so it's important to recognize that when you're in ventral, you have the ability to choose. Let me ask a question. Who here chose to be here today? Let me see by show of hands. You made a conscious choice. Okay? Were there other things you could do with
your time? Yes or no? So what does that mean? It means that we need to be regulated. Okay? It also means that our reef the the sympathetic and dorsal reflexes are typically in charge if you're not choosing. Think about that for a second. If you're not choosing, your reactions are choosing for you. And your reactions are based on what? If your nervous system has an unconscious response to something, what's that based
on? Past experiences or trauma, usually. Right? So when you're in reaction, you're not in the present and you're not in the future and you're out of your business that fast. Who follows? Does this make sense? Okay. And so our goal is to have you come back faster. Ethical neuroceptive sales strategies mirror therapy and coaching because they engage deeply with human behavior, human emotions, and decision making processes. However, I think that it's actually hear me now. It's more important
to be good at sales than it is at coaching or therapy. Because if you don't get the sale, you can't do the coaching or the therapy who follows. Does that make sense? Now you're not gonna hear that in a postdoc master's class. You're not gonna hear that in a sematic experiencing, training. You're not gonna hear that at a polyvagal training. You're not gonna hear that because the focus there is the practitioners, the practitioner archetype, It's practitioner part. Nothing
wrong. Right? We love all those modalities, but there's an aversion. There's almost a systemic negative association to money in the healing arts. It's the strangest thing. It's the strangest thing in the world. Right? And the most important decision one of your clients is going to make is to choose themselves, to choose themselves, not other people, but to put themselves first. And
that's what happens. You know, here's the thing. You put together a high ticket offer for 2, 3, 4, 5, 10,000, $15,000, resistance. Jimmy Choo shoes, less resistance. Why? Because it is a representation of putting yourself first. Right? And so getting them to say yes to themselves to transform their life is corrective, and so it's and it's state dependent. Okay? And so therapy and coaching help clients uncover their internal barriers, won't they? Those internal blocks of the past or the future.
And when you're in these neuros up to sales strategies, they do the same thing because what you're helping people do is articulate their pain and their goals and showing them the gap in between. And the gap in between is what your solute your your offer helps them solve. Okay? And so you're guiding someone to say, I'm worth this. My goals are worth this. My growth is worth
this, unlike the messaging I got in childhood usually. And so getting them to say yes to themselves is the beginning of many yeses to themselves. Because who here gets that once they're inside the program or working with you as a client, they have to keep saying yes to themselves with their boundaries or with their self care, with whatever they're nervous whatever you're helping them with. It's still yes to themselves. The sale is the hardest yes to themselves. Who follows?
Does this make sense? And so if you have yellow or red reflexes around sales and offers, you're in your own way because you're not just selling a product or service. You're helping people make decisions to invest in themselves and change their life. You're helping them transform their lives. The sales process is more than a transaction. It's the beginning of profound transformation and an act of service. Who you you get that? Does that make
sense? Okay. So the state that you're selling from is everything.