Ah Hi. Oh, hi. Hi. How's it going? Oh, good. How are you? Hi. So I just have to say how much I just how much I love everything about you and about your stops about about your work. And it really it really is everything it. It really is so, so heartfelt, deepest Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very welcome received. Good, good. Okay, and then. So you were what was the first thing you said about that? You're studying F phobia? Yeah. Yes. So, okay, so I had a download September
9 2019, at 9pm. And I certainly am not gonna Pacific or Eastern. That would would have been Central time. Okay, got it. And actually probably would have been like, 903 people gonna get ya. Four, it would have been something different Mercury's in different places at that point. So. Exactly. Yes. So I had a download all around feelings and emotions. And they're just, I'll just read a couple of that. What if we treated every feeling and emotion like we would the love
of our life? What if we treated them like our best friend? What if every feeling emotion shows up? To teach us something really amazing, really valuable, really beautiful. And it goes on and on? But yeah, so if you want to quote me in your study, just me. Okay. How can I help you today? I Yes. So i Something came up for me this morning. And I never would have labeled myself as this. But I think I might be a little bit of a of a perfectionist is the only word I
could come up with. I have I've shared this before I have all this knowledge of all this stuff. And I've never moved forward or created. created a program a course, a something that I know that I have a lot of knowledge on and that I know that I would bring a lot of value. But I'm, I'm feeling like in this loop of I need to know more, I need to learn more. I need to I need to I need this. I need this neck degree. But I need to learn this first or I need to do this or just that
cycle. And so perfectionism is the only thing that was the first thing that that came up for me, I've net like I said, I would have never called myself that. Because I also feel really, I really feel an organized as well. So I don't know those are are two things. I have a very distinct memory when
I was six years old. My mother who suffered severe depression and anxiety and grew up my childhood was really feeling on Eighth feeling on eggshells walking around on eggshells, because we didn't know when she was going to explode. And then my dad who always just gave her the silent treatment, which now I know just made things worse and, and all of that. But whenever my grandparents would come to visit the stress and anxiety that would caught that that would cause my mom, I would
start cleaning. And so I remember being six years old and pulling out like the big vacuum cleaner. And like cleaning the stairs, vacuuming the stairs, getting out toothbrushes and like cleaning little crevices. I mean, I was I'm sure borderline OCD because I felt like if the house was clean that that would help my mom and then my mom wouldn't be stressed and she would enjoy the you know, the visit that the in laws. But she always exploded and, and all of that. So that's well I mean, you already
answered your question. And the question is, well, you because you basically just said like you have to always know more, and learn more, right? Yeah. And based on what you've shared, there's no amount of knowing more than will actually get you the answer that you want because you're never going to know enough to know what your mom's moods are going to be next. That's an infinite cycle. But your clients like your mom, so We'll help them out. Okay.
Okay. Does that make sense? Like it's like, like, when you're walking on eggshells, it's like, and that's one of the things I think a lot of people in this world, including myself do is that like, we get smart at pattern identification, because we start to research so much inconsistency or there's so much, you know, things we can't count on that we try to get really smart patterns and okay, what am I safe? And with her, the answer is I'll never really know the answer to
that question, right? The perfectionism that hyper vigilance. Right? And yeah, that yeah, that feels more, more in line, but there's no answer. There's no, there's actually no answer, you're actually answering an unanswerable question. You're asking an unanswerable question. How will I know? If my mom's moods are going to be good or not? I won't, huh. And you'll be okay. No matter what her moods are. That's the message that you didn't get when you were younger, because you wouldn't
have been okay, back then. But you will be now and hear me now. Your family is not where you want to look to make your money and to have a business like strangers will make you wealthy. And they'll be way more appreciative of your skill set than your family? For sure. Right. Right. Okay. Does that
make sense? Yeah, it does. And like, go help, like, last thing I'll say is, is like, usually, when you think about knowledge base, you know, you're comparing yourself to like, you know, compared to your mom, or to a mentor, in terms of like, do I know as much as Bessell? Do I know, as know, as much as Mastin? Do I know as much as whoever, right? Like, I'm not your client and vessels, not your client. But there are lots of people who can be your
clients. So you want to frame people properly and put them into mentor client categories? Right? I'm not going to be vessels mentor, probably not doubtful, right. He's my mentor, in a lot of ways, right? I'm probably not going to ever be Tony Robbins coach, ever. Right? Right. So it's like, but there's lots of people I can coach, right? He's my mentor, also. Right. So it's, I have lots of men's team that probably never going to be like yo, Steven Porges. Let me teach you about
polyvagal theory. Right, right. No, not so much, right. But he's a mentor. So like, but mentors are like this. I feel like there's such a small number, if you turn around and look at who's in front of you, who needs help way more people need help. And what you take for granted as knowledge. Other people think is life changing? Right, right. Everything I share in this program, like LPA, the challenge these calls, I don't need this
knowledge. Again, this is knowledge I've learned a long time ago, but every time I do it, because of the conversation that we just had, how that's going to impact a child's life, how it's going to impact your life, because this is not about me trying to, I mean, I do there's a level of like, sharpening my my sword every time I do clinical or client work, when I'm definitely like
keeping up in a lot of ways. And I need to hear this out by say sometimes, but generally like nothing that I say here is mind blowing to me. Because this is what I do. Right? So but it's helping you have aha moments helping other people have aha moments. And there's a part of me that surprised every time that happens, like what do you mean? that's mind blowing? Or why? Why is that breakthrough? Like, I don't understand what because you've know this
already, but they're new. And that's the thing about being an expert is just remember, people who come in contact with him never heard it before. Right? Right. Like if I said to you like, what do you think mental illness trauma response? Is like mind blowing to you? No, but there's like millions of people that'd be mind blowing to. Hey, does that make sense? Yeah, it's amazing how much we we all do it, right. We take take for granted how much we do
know. And it's not until, you know, a few times where I have done a coaching call, and I share things and I think, doesn't everyone know this? And then the people on the call are like having aha moments and, and all of that. And it's like, really, this isn't common knowledge, like you don't all know this. So if there's shit that I know, that like, I either forget or don't apply, and then I need to hear it again. Right? Or like, again, like 1000 times, right? So it's really you want to focus
on who am I helping? Yeah, right, versus like, can I make my mom happy and predict her moods? Or can I coach my mentors? No, no. But there's millions of people that need your help. Right? Does that makes sense? So keep your mentors, your mentors and keep your clients, your clients. And here's the thing as you get more advanced, there might be people who were your mentors and now become clients because you outpaced them? Right? I Have a lot of mentors that like I could
probably help them out. Right? Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, there's the I'll be at a social networking thing, or just wherever and meeting someone new. And I'll say, Oh, what do you do? And they'll say, Oh, I'm a coach or a mentor or something
like that. And so I'll start talking to them about, you know, family of origin or cognitive therapy, or, you know, and I'm really not using like big words, and they look at me, like, I have three, you know, three eyes, and you know, they've never done the work. And it just bothers me, because they're calling themselves a coach, which is my issue. But, you know, that's a, but those those don't judge the people that I know, I know, charge them, don't judge them. Right. That's good. That's good.
You know, and like, I mean, look like, there are people like great examples, like today or yesterday, or something I posted. Yesterday, I posted like Joe Dispenza, slash Joe Dispenza thing on Instagram that was talking about like, how like, like, your thinking makes you sick? And I'm just, I'm just like, No, that's not what it is. So I took it, and I literally, like, did a remix. And I was like, Yo, actually, here's how the nervous system works in the
bottom of approach. And, you know, is interesting, the comments are very split, there are people who like love dispense, I love Dispenza. And you can still call out something that's incorrect if you love somebody, especially if you love somebody, right? So like I'm here, and my knowledge base is actually greater than dispenses as it relates to trauma informed and polyvagal informed, right.
And like, that's crazy, because I can remember a time where like, I would interview Dispenza on my podcast, and he would blow me away. And I was just like, Oh, my God, this makes so much sense. Now, I'm like, What are you talking about, bro? Like, that's like, the fifth step. There's like four more steps before that. Right. So like, and you know, the same thing happened with lots of people in
the space, right? Because they're, they have their thing, and they're not paying attention to the data, I do that stuff, not to call him out in a negative way. It's to call him up and be like, Yo, if you applied polyvagal theory and your meditations, your whole practice will change and you make an even bigger impact. Right? So it's like, like, like, that's a good example of someone who would have been a mentor that now probably could learn a lot from, like what we're doing.
Does that make sense? Right, and so like, but like, for me, it's like, Yo, dude, like, I'm not judging him, like, pay me to help you organization. W create a whole policy, that uniform coaching division of your meditation practices and stop yelling, words, and like, really weird tones into like, meditations and scaring the shed people also, like listen to mid level vocal prosody. Right? Like, there's things we can do with your tone of voice that would help you improve your
outcomes, I bet. Right? And so like, like, that's just, that's just how it is. And so just know that like, don't charge them Jar Jar, don't judge them charge that. Right? And also, like, there's more people to help than experts.
Yeah, absolutely. And that, that I really feel and I'll end it here but that it's kind of like giving you another compliment, but I really feel like your work and me doing this work is almost like that missing link for me of what I you know, want to be and what I want to offer and doing the deep. I'm doing the deep work, to me is everything and then I'm not interested in just
doing surface stuff. I'm not interested in surface conversations, you know, our relationships, and I know enough that it's the deep work that's going to be want real change. You have to do the deep work, right? Everything else. You know, you can't sustain so that's awesome. Really happy for you and thank you and thank you