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When we look at money blueprints through the nervous system lens, there are 3 sort of categories that we look at to understand your relationship to money. Okay? Now who here understands, before I share these, that you have a relationship with many different things. You have a relationship with yourself. You have relationship with different parts of yourself. You may have a relationship with a pet. You have a relationship perhaps with a significant
other. You have a relationship with social media. You have a relationship maybe with your parents or family. You have a relationship with many different things. Does that make sense? And there's different levels of relationship that you have. Do y'all get that, That there's we we have relationships with these things, and the way you perceive it, the way you experience it is different. Maybe you experience money different than a cat, for example. Does that make
sense? Y'all with me on that? Is that are y'all tracking? I wanna make sure. Yes? Okay. So when we break down, what are the ingredients of a of a relationship? There's these 3 categories that we wanna look at. The first is what's known as object permanence. Okay? What does that mean? It's like, will this thing, person, situation, stay or go? Right? So if you have abandonment problems, okay, that is an issue of object permanence. Things in your life that you value don't
stay. Who follows? Does this make sense? Right? You automatically assume that something's gonna leave. The money is gonna leave. The person is gonna leave. The situation is gonna leave. And this is at the root of a lot of, like, anxious attachment, for example. Okay? So just out of curiosity, when it comes to money, what's your first gut response? If you're gonna when you get it, is it gonna stay or go? What's your first what's your first automatic response? I'm
just kinda curious. Okay. So we all have financial abandonment issues. Okay. Got it. Okay. Makes sense. Okay. The next thing we look at is what's known as object constancy, object constancy, which is, what is your relationship with money when it goes up and down, and what is the quality of that relationship? Right? So for example, if I take it out of finance for a moment, let's just say that you're growing up and you live in a household where you're certain
that your parents will be there no matter what. So you don't have an object you don't have an object permanence issue. But maybe one of your parents is an alcoholic, and depending on their mood, you know they're gonna be there, but you don't know what mood they're gonna be in. They might be in a really aggressive mood. They might be in a really friendly mood. They might be kind of depressed. Right? And you learn to
walk on eggshells. Has anyone ever learned to walk on eggshells around people? I'm curious. Okay? That's object constancy. So your nervous system's like, they're gonna be here. I just don't know who is going to be here, which one of them is going to be here. Okay? And sometimes, if you have bad object constancy, which is like the quality of this relationship is like, I don't know who's gonna show up, you would rather them leave because it's
too up and down, too unpredictable. Right? Who follows? This makes sense? Okay? And so object permanence says, will they be here? Will they not be here? Object constancy says, when they're here, how are they? What how are they reacting? How are they responding? And ideally, in relationships, we have healthy object permanence where people can leave and stay, and we can navigate that transition in a
healthy way. And we know that they're gonna be safe enough when they're leaving and when they're staying so that that's, like, someone that we wanna be in a relationship with who follows. This makes sense? Okay? This directly applies to money. Okay? So when you have money, okay, what does that mean about you? How much are you allowed to have? Right? If you have too much, if you have too little. Okay? So that's important to understand as
well. Okay? Like, well, let's say, will it go? And then when I have it, who am I? Who is it? How does it feel? Do I have to walk on eggshells? What does it mean relationally? There's a lot of complexity there. Okay. Who follows? Is this making sense y'all? I'm talking neuroscience, so I wanna make sure this makes this is making sense to you. Yes? Yes? Okay. Then okay. So we're looking at object permanence, object constancy, and then we're looking at the
quality of the environment. Okay? So what this means is does your actual environment that you're in support secure attachment to money? Like, are the people that you're surrounded by, like, abundant? Does your environment, help you feel abundant and have secure attachment? Right? And a lot of people, the answer is absolutely not. So think about
this. If you have object permanence problems where you're not sure it's gonna be there, object constancy problems where you're like, even if it's here, it's not gonna take care of me, and environment problems that say, this environment makes it really hard for me to earn. How do you think you're gonna do in earning, y'all? Not well. Right? So this is what these are some of the ingredients of your financial blueprint. Okay? And what happens is this financial blueprint informs if money itself is
trustworthy or not. Can you trust money? Okay? It informs if you feel valuable or not to earn money. It informs if you're effective at earning money. It informs if you are pro earning or anti earning. There was a little anti earning sentiment on the training yesterday. Right? There was like, capitalism is bad. It's like, well, I wouldn't say that that's true. I think there are people who utilize the capitalistic society and and and and protocols for ends and means that are not
great, but that has nothing to do with how you're gonna utilize it. Right? You can use it. It's like the force. Right? You can use the force for good or for bad. Or if you're into Harry Potter, right, you can use magic, you can dark lord, you can be the the a white wizard. Right? So the point is is all has the intention with which you use it. But who here could even see yesterday there was some anti earning sentiment on this training? I was like,
oh, really? No. Okay? That's all about your financial blueprint. Okay? And your financial blueprint will help you navigate what happens when money comes and when money goes. Right? Because guess what? In business, both are gonna happen. Money is gonna leave, and money is gonna come back. And there's a transition between those things. Right? And if you're in a mindset of either lack mindset, poverty mindset, or if you're like a employee mindset, when money leaves, you don't have a lot
of trust that's gonna come back. But when you're an entrepreneurial nervous system, you understand that the the coming and going, the ebb and flow of money is a natural part of things. And the goal is to put out, have back, put out, have back. And the problem is most of you struggle with the out problem. Once it goes, you're like, and you get into, like, a a freeze response. They wanna have a freeze response when it comes to this stuff? I'm curious. Financially? Yes? Okay. Who here is
already starting to understand how maybe you get your own way with finances already? Let me see if I show your hands. This is making a little bit more sense. Okay. Just wanna make sure that you're tracking with me before I keep going. Yes? Okay. Beautiful. Alright. So next. Okay. What we wanna really get into is this idea that, like, like, we actually have these, like, really, like, deep seated, like, early, associations to, worthiness.
Okay? Now, there is a researcher named Beatrice Beebe who, studied infant mother coregulation at, like, one one hundredth of a second intervals. Right? And what she found is that depending on how the mother would react when the baby would look away, that's how, attachment styles begin. So, for example, if a baby is looking a way to regulate and the mom follows the child, right, and makes the child feel kind of enmeshed, that's where avoidant attachment can kinda begin.
Right? And if the baby looks away and comes back and the mom's not paying attention, that's a big game sort of anxious attachment because, like, wait, I went away and then you're not here. And mom could just be looking elsewhere. Right? The worst thing you could do, though, is still face where the baby looks away, comes back, and the mom's just, like, still and nonreactive and nonresponsive. Right?
That really activates children. What happens is all that stuff, how emotionally available mom is early on tells us really where our worthiness begins. Right? So if you think about, like, where I'm not worthy begins, it's, like, early stages. Like, early early the first few months. Right? Like, if I cry out and my needs aren't met, I must not be worthy because children are egocentric. It's
all about them. Who follows? This makes sense. Okay. And so, like, literally, like like the slightest levels of misattunement when we're younger can cause all kinds of problems. And then we look at, like, the work of doctor Gabor Mate, and he talks very similarly about maternal emotional attunement. And your mom doesn't have to be your literal mom. It could be a grandfather, grandmother, a dad. It could be
a stepmom. Like, the the it's whoever your primary caregiver was growing up. But if they're like, a lot of the attentional systems in the brain are wired in through being paid attention to. Right? And that's where a lot of secure attachment also comes from. So a lot of times the beginning of, like, ADHD, which I have plenty of. Right? I finally had 3 types of it diagnosed when I was 32 years old. I was like, oh, that's why I do all this crazy shit.
Makes total sense. Late diagnosis, by the way. Right? Would have been nice to catch that earlier. Right? ADHD and dyslexia. And so, like, that's because, like, I was there's, like, a lot of neglect growing up and, like, I would not, like, poor Masten, but there's just there wasn't a lot of attention paid to me. So I really didn't know how to pay attention in a lot of ways. And so a lot of that stuff gets wired in early on and then doesn't get addressed, and then it shows up in our business. Who
follows? This makes sense. Right? So if you think about, like, money equals mom in many ways, that's a very interesting analogy to to to put out there. Okay? And, because if you think about what are your top complaints about your mom or whoever your early caregiver was when you were younger, not there, not available, inconsistent, whatever it might be. If you take out mom and you put in money, what you might notice is there's a similarity
there. Right? You might start to notice that what I believe about emotional attunement is also what I believe about financial support. What I believe about emotional support is also what I believe about financial support. Right? Who follows? This makes sense. Okay? So it's where this stuff originates. Okay? So when we think about what money is, is it a tool for pain management? Yes. Is it a tool for social acceptance? Yes. Is it a tool to create
happiness? Up to a certain point? Yes. Right? Is it the root of all evil? Depends on who you ask. If you worship money over your creator, maybe. Right? The Bible doesn't say don't love money. Just doesn't say don't love money more than God, just so we're clear. Is money only for rich people? Is it energy? Is it easy to get? Is it hard to get? All this stuff is informed by our early relationships. And if we really think about what money is, if you
if you buy something, that's an exchange. Right? You're giving money for something in return. Who follows? This make sense? Right? And the price you pay is its value. So we think about, like, how this relates to money equals mom from an attachment perspective. Right? Or money is the feminine. Okay? Well, like, what the exchange is early on is attention.
Right? Am I worthy of attention? What is my value? If I get good attention and because especially when we're younger, we need the, the attention of our caregivers. Otherwise, we're gonna die. Right? Our life is literally dependent upon it. Okay? So adults still get abandoned, but children do. Okay? And so it's important to recognize that there's a direct correlation there. Now am I am I talking above or past or is anyone confused by what I'm saying
right now? Or is it making sense like, oh, that lands? Does that make sense to all? Like for me, when I feel like money leaves, I feel like it's never going to come back on some level because when I was younger, I was just alone the whole time. So I just I just expect I'm always gonna be alone and that money is also gonna always leave me alone. Right? Who follows?
This makes sense? Now that's not true, but I have parts that hold that. And if those parts are driving my business and my sales, it's gonna be a bad business. Give me a thumbs up or yes in the chat to make sure you're tracking with me because this is some, like, you know, kinda heavy stuff. Now when we look at the word money itself, I love etymology in studying words, it actually comes from Latin and the word moneta, m o n e t a. And what's interesting is that moneta is a feminine word in
Latin, and it sort of has a reference to 2 different goddesses. 1 was the mother of the muses. Right? So, like, you know, the muses were the these, like, goddesses that would sing and then, like, attract the sailors to them and
they would crash on the shore and stuff like that. Right? So Moneta is related to to the goddess of the muses and the mother of the muses, song and dance, and in a way also the source of inspiration because the muses would also, like, you know, if we got gifted by the muse, we also have inspiration. But it was also Moneta was the surname of the goddess Juno, okay, which in, that time was the goddess of
birth, the goddess of marriage, and the feminine principles of life. And what's really interesting, I like how tapped in, earlier societies were. In Rome, money money itself was created in Juno's temple. Now the symbolism of that is money is created in the goddess' womb just like children who follows. This makes sense? And I'm just like when I found this out, I'm like, this is crazy. Like, how attachment science and finance and words merge together, like, over time.
And so in a lot of ways, money is the feminine. And there's a direct link between emotional supply from mom or whoever your early caregiver was and financial supply. And there's a direct relationship there. So if you felt secure over here, it's very easy to imagine feeling secure over here. And our expectations can transfer, and they come up. So when we talk about repeating your conditioning from from childhood, this is what we're talking about because maternal emotional supply is valuable.
And if you're valuable, you'll get her attention. Who follows. This makes sense? This is what we do as children. Now there's lots of other reasons. In fact, when we're younger, we don't say, oh, well, you know, I'm not getting my caregiver's attention because it's somebody must be wrong with me. That's what we tell ourselves. We don't say there's trauma. There's this. There's that, there's chronic pain, there's issues. No. We don't we don't do that. We just make it all about us because as
kids, we're supposed to be egocentric. Does that make sense? Are you all tracking with me on that?