Hi. Good to see you. You too and everyone else. Hey. I raised my hand. I didn't really want to, but I want to. I've tried to talk myself into that truth of how people are not being helped because I'm not doing what I need to do. Yes. I don't know if I really wanna embody that. So maybe that would it's like I'm trying to force parts those parts to get on board with that. I see. What parts are you trying to force? The parts that say, they don't believe
that? Oh, okay. Yes. It's What would what would happen if it wasn't necessary to get them to believe it? Maybe I'll do it. Oh, okay. Whatever it is. So so so check this out. So I love I love having meta awareness of what type of conversation we're having. Okay? So we set a performance conversation. Okay? I'm gonna pause on that. I'm gonna go into healing conversation for a second. Okay? So when we are in touch with parts of us that are holding wounds or trauma. Okay?
We do not want to change their perspective. We want to honor it and befriend it and validate it and say, oh my god. Look at what you're holding. Oh my god. That's so true. Like, thank you for holding that this whole time. I can't believe you were experiencing that. Like, thank you for protecting me. Thank you for your positive intention, even if I'm not sure what it was. There's a there's a validation that happens. Does that make
sense? Right? Now if you try to get them to change their mind, what happens is I can't remember if this is if I if this is my idea or Jenna's idea. Jenna, you can tell me. I can't remember. Jenna has a way better memory than I do. But, basically, the you know what parentification is? So when a child is parentified, they're a very young child, and they turn into the parent because they're they're responsible one. Right? So if we expect our parts of ourselves that hold trauma to
okay. It was Jenna's idea. Okay. She said it was she well, Jenna is very sweet. She said it was my idea, but you can say ours. It's this is Jenna's idea. Okay. So, basically, the idea is is that, the parentified part, like, that part is young. It holds trauma. Right? And that part doesn't its job is not to believe. Its job is to have that trauma experience. Its job is to be a young child, because Because parts freeze at a certain age, typically. Right? So we don't want this part
to do something it's not supposed to do. Which is, it's holding trauma. It's gonna release it. Right? But it has an experience. We wanna assign the job to the part of you that is able to. Right? Which is an older, wiser, more related version of you that can come and say, hey, kid. I got this. So that part is not parentified. That part can go, ugh. I can just be a pain in the ass, stubborn, scared kid, or I can be a I can just, you know, be
really sad or whatever. I can just whatever it is, I can just be I can be that. Thank you so much. You know? Like, I got you. Now what we don't wanna do is take that part and put it in the driver's seat. Right? We can put it in the spotlight so that it gets integrated, but we don't wanna put the most traumatized parts of ourselves in the driver's seat of your life. And I think that's what happens a lot of times when people get started on this journey is it's like a Pandora's box. We just open it
up, and they're like, fuck. There's all these parts. And all of a sudden, it's like, alright. Let me take my inner traumatized kid, and, like, you're in charge of my relationship, my money, my finances, my business. Like, let's put you in charge. It's like, no. No. No. No. No. That's not the goal. Right? We wanna put you in the passenger seat and let the adult parts of you, the regulated parts of you start to take over. Oh, yes. And be there for it.
Right? So that's called the the clinical term that is reparenting yourself. And that's a a very important piece. Now once you have some flexibility with that and you start to move forward, okay, we don't need that part to believe. We just need it on board. And those are different things. Think about this for a second. Have you ever believed something that isn't true? Probably. Okay. Have you ever believed something that is true?
That's a good question. Let's just make it a simple yes is the answer. I'll give you the answer. It's not like we're not having an existential, like, quantum 3 d 10 d conversation. Just just just just just like, you believe that the sun will come up in the morning. That's objectively true. Okay? Okay. So have you ever believed something that's true that didn't help you? Yes. Okay. Have you ever believed something that's true that did
help you? Yes. Have you ever believed something that isn't true that did help you? I don't know. Well, have you ever created something that didn't exist? Probably. Did you ever achieve a goal? You did. Okay. So you believed in something that wasn't true, but it helped you. Think about that for a second. You set a goal. That goal did not exist. Okay. Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. Ergo, it's not true. That goal does not exist. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's not realized.
Correct. It's not realized. It's not it's not factually true that that goal exists. Right? But we believed in it, and we acted accordingly, and then it did exist. That's manifesting. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay? Right? That's what manifesting is. Right? So we ask ourselves, is now this is for use this for good, not for starting cults and evil shit. Okay? You wanna ask yourself the question, is this belief true,
or is it useful? Because I think it's more important to focus on something's usefulness than its truth. I'm not thinking you should lie. As in realized or true as in okay. So I'm As as of, like like, it's true that, like, this bottle or whatever this, like, paper thing of water exists and there's water on the inside. That's true. Okay. At one point, it was just an idea, and it wasn't it didn't exist. Oh, okay. Makes sense? So it
wasn't realized. Right? So you can believe things I'll say a different language. You can believe things that are not realized that will help you realize that. Yeah. It's faith. Yes. We go. Okay? Right? And so the exactly. So the the the value of a belief is its usefulness to realize your life, not its measure of truth. Yes. Does that make sense? Okay. So if you're trying to convince these parts to get on board, that's not
really helpful because they're not gonna get on board with, like, believing. They don't have to believe. For them, it's never gonna be realized, ever. Oh. Yeah. Doesn't have to be. Even when you realize it, they won't believe it. Oh, really? No. Parts of us I have parts of me that don't believe that I live in this life that I live in, that I'm still stuck in the pool house that I couchsurfed in for 2 years. Right? Like, parts of me hold that experience. Parts of me think I'm 0 years old, and
no one's gonna come and show up because I'm this incubator all by myself. I have parts to hold that experience too. They never change, but they're just not in the driver's seat. Does that make sense? And It does. If your if your if your experience this whole term gaslighting. Right? Most people use the term incorrectly. Most people have substituted disagreeing for gaslighting. This disagreement is not the same thing as gaslighting. Gaslighting is intentionally manipulating
someone's reality to abuse them. Like, that's what gaslighting is. Okay? Not disagreement. Okay? Now, if you have parts that were disbelief, gaslit, told they didn't exist, didn't pick up space. Right? Those parts really value your truth and specifically their truth. And they value their truth being recognized. Like, I'm here. I exist. I matter. Can't you see me?
You need to experience me. I hear. I matter. Right? And they have a very hard time when we start to achieve things and believe in things that have not yet been realized because it's not true. It's not realized. It's unrealized. It's an unrealized state. Right? So we can invalid that part could feel invalidated sometimes. Right? And so we wanna hold the complexity of both to say, honey, I love you. You don't need to believe this. Come in the passenger seat. Let's get going
on this journey that you don't believe in. Does that make sense? Mhmm. It does. So what do you do with what I'm saying? What am I doing with what you're saying? Yeah. That's a good question. I am really trying to soak it in, Yeah. And let the adult parts of me hear it. Yeah. Because when you said that the parts that don't believe, the child, the parent I mean, the the ones that didn't develop the way they should have, they're not gonna believe it even when it is. That was something
new. And but it's not new. Exactly. Every time you talk, I hear I hear the messages and the lessons from behind, you know, from the research and development. Yeah. And that is very true that they won't believe it then. Yeah. But then I want to sit here and rattle off like I know anyway, I wanna soak that in, Mast. Yeah. Well, soak it in, and I'm gonna say one thing that's slightly performance oriented. Okay. Why don't ego live an unbelievable life? I'm gonna write that down.
It's time. Yeah. It is time. So what a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful sentiment and question. Thank you so much for raising your hand, and I hope that it soaks in for you. Thank you, master. It's beautiful. It's so good.