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way to supplement? Join me in going for the goo and never looking back. Here's the thing about the stoicism. Okay? Now y'all know what stoicism is. Okay? Stoicism is like, this shit, I can do hard things. Life happens for me, not to me. That's the the whole phrase. That phrase, life happens for me, not to me, is a stoic phrase. Right? And stoicism is beautiful when it comes to growth. Right? We gotta do hard things.
Who follows? This make sense? Right? But if you need to up your healing score, stoicism is the worst approach. Hear me now. Stoicism is the worst approach for getting used to the parts of you that you're not used to. Right? You're gonna beat the shit out of them. Okay? You're not gonna be nice to them. You're gonna try to eliminate them, destroy them, push them aside. Right? So we need to use stoicism or life happens for
me, not to me appropriately. Right? You would never think about this. I'll give you an extreme example. Okay? You would never tell someone who's in the middle of, like, the holocaust or a war scenario or just went through abuse. Well, this is happening for you, not to you. You know that. Right? Right? That's super extreme, but who follows? This makes sense. The general idea is we don't
wanna say that to the parts of ourselves that we need to recover. So if you have you're in your head, you're not in your body, and you're probably lone wolfing it because you're probably highly parentified, which means that when you were younger, you were the one that had take care of shit. No one else could you couldn't know what it you can't rely on anybody else. You gotta rely on yourself. You are self reliant. You love Thoreau. You love Emerson. You love,
I don't know, Marcus Aurelius and all that shit. Right? And I love that shit too, and there's a time and a place for it. But remember, the most important thing is, is this what? Is this useful? So is stoicism useful? Yes. There's a time and place for it. But if you have high achiever, you don't need any help with stoicism. You don't need any help with self determination. You're good. Okay? But you probably suck at getting support, receiving support, counting on people, relying on people, and
having consistency. Right? Who follows? Does this make sense y'all? Now if you're the other way around, okay, and then let's say you have high healer, okay, and low achiever, what would that indicate? What do you think? You just got all the feels, all the all the emotions, all the things. Right? It means that you need a little more stoicism. Okay? We need to we need to up that in a way. Right? Because when we're so focused on the emotion, the emotion does not come before the action.
The action comes first. So for the people who are high achiever, we need to slow it down and get all your parts on board because otherwise, you're gonna burn out. Okay? People are a high healer, high healer score. You get signs. You does it feel right? You do a lot of energy and noises. Right? You're feeling into it. And if it doesn't feel right, you don't do it. But there's a difference between trusting your
knowing, your heart, your soul, your spirit, and something that doesn't feel right. Who here thinks? Let me give you an example. If you're gonna go to the gym and you know you wanna get stronger, do you feel like going to the gym before you go to the gym? What do you think? Yes or no? Come on, y'all. Yes or no? Hell no. Okay? And, if you go hard at the gym, how do you feel afterwards? Maybe even worse. Right? So if you're judging your life based on your
feelings, you are in a roller coaster life. Okay? Up and down and up and down, your life is a roller coaster. Okay? And we don't want your business, the areas of abundance to be a roller coaster. We don't want that to be based on how you feel because, in this case, we want to use a little bit more dissociation on purpose to be able to move through the emotion because it's going to happen. Now, I'm not saying you wanna be stuck in dissociation, but short term dissociation is a high
performance skill set. Okay. Now, let me see by a show of hands. Who here has ever dissociated before? Let me see by a show of hands. Anybody ever dissociated before? Okay. Who's ever dissociated before and you yourself up because of it? You hurt yourself. You burned out. Okay. Maybe it's time to dissociate to create abundance. Maybe it's time to dissociate to get rich. Maybe it's time to dissociate to get that
business going. Right? Because if you're already good at dissociation, you might as well dissociate from things that are short term need to be quote unquote bypassed or suppressed or pushed away for a short period of time to move through it. Like, for example, if you don't wanna go to the gym, dissociate from it, get your ass to the gym. If you don't wanna post on social media, dissociate from it and post on social media because
it's the action that matters. Now, I'm not saying long term stay stuck in dissociation. What I'm saying is we need less feeling, more action, more prefrontal cortex who follows. Does this make sense? So I want you to think about you gotta be able to turn towards these emotions and understand that from a, non cognitive place. We wanna be able to embody it. Right? You think you're self sufficient. You're lone wolfing it. So who here
feels like you're more stuck in achiever nervous system dominance? If that's you, just let me see by show of hands. Okay? So these are the stoics. These are the ones that, like, I got this. These are the self reliance. These are the Emisons, the Thoreaus, the Marcus Aurelius'. God bless y'all. Y'all gotta find some hard shit, but we gotta slow it down and befriend your body. I remember one time, when I was learning this lesson experientially,
nobody told me. Right? My therapist was basically like, Masten, like, you're not slowing down. And I got so indignant because when when you're on my blind spot, which is very rare because I feel like I have a high level of self awareness, I get mean. Right? I get I get all, like, mean and angry. Right? And I and I'm I'm somebody who has to say no into my yes. Does that make sense? Like, I had to say no a bunch and then I'm, like, fine eventually. Right?
It's a little opposites with defiance. Right? And I was so, like, indignant and so angry. And she's like, Mastin, it's about slowing down. I said, well, slow down. Wait. Slow down. Then what? Nothing's gonna happen. I'm gonna sit here, slow this down. I got shit to do. Right? What do you do with your life? Right? What are you, loser? I get all, like, super gnarly. Right? And and I don't mean any of this. It's just a safe enough environment where
these protectors can actually speak up. Right? And it's like, look. I'm slow down. I got if I'm gonna make millions of dollars, I'm gonna sit here and therapize people and I'll make it about her countertransference, all this shit's coming up. Right? And she's just being patient with me. And I was like, I mean, like, what does, like and she goes, it's because you don't know what's good about slowing down. And then I go, what the fuck
is good about slowing down? Right? And then she said, I'll never forget this shit. She said, Masten, now you're asking good questions. And I was like, I was so pissed. Right? Anybody ever been ninja ed before? Right? She she ninja ed my ass. And I was like, I don't know what's good about slowing down. And then I realized, oh my god. If I'm gonna slow down, I have to pay attention to my feelings. I gotta pay oh my god. I gotta change the people in my life because,
like, these people are so disregulate. I have so much I have to shift and change. And it can be very disorienting to slow down sometimes. Who follows? Does it make sense? But when you slow down, you stop sprinting in the wrong direction. It's better to inch and to crawl in the right direction than sprint quickly in the wrong direction. Who follows? This make sense? Okay. Now if you're in healer nervous system dominance, you're so absorbed in the emotion of
things. Right? You're just so overwhelmed by the feelings. Okay. And I don't know how to put this. So I'm just gonna say it how I know how to say it. If you're so absorbed in the emotion of it, the answer is it's time to step into your adult self. Okay? There's reframing that has to happen. And cognitive reframing, reappraisal is not bypassing. Bypassing says, here you don't belong here.
Cognitive reappraisal says, you're with me. You're just in the passenger seat and we gotta move forward this and it's a level of adulting because if you think about it, our prefrontal cortex, the decision maker in our brain, that's like the most advanced machinery that comes on later in life. Right? When we run our life by our emotions, those are younger
parts, and that's the roller coaster life. And so if you feel, like, so overwhelmed by emotion, it's about getting that prefrontal cortex online and it's about taking action. Right? Bill Wilson, founder of twelve step, has a great quote. You can't think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking. So sometimes it's about doing it anyway, feeling it anyway. And it's just like going to the gym. Who here has ever gone
to the gym and hated it for a while? Anybody? I'm curious. Right? And there's that thing called DOMS. You know what DOMS is? Delayed onset muscle soreness. Like, if you haven't trained for a while and you go back and then just like nothing it's just you're you're done training and you're like, everything hurts and like your arm gets stuck and you can't like extend it because it's like the bicep is like you know, who knows what I'm talking about? All the lactic acid and shit. Right?
So there's there's dom sometimes that's kinda shitty at first because you've been so used to letting your feelings guide you that which is different than your intuition. There's a time and a place. Who here thinks you could benefit from being able to set your feelings aside and take the right action for the area you want you want where you wanna manifest abundance? Let me see if I show of hands. Who here feels like you're more stuck in healer
dominance? There's more of the emotion driving you. So what's needed here is more corrective emotional experiences and decision making. Okay? Now, let's pop up this slide for a second. Okay? And think about the area where you're stuck. Okay? Not your life. Okay? You know what your trauma is but you refuse to be defined by it. Some of you may not know what that is yet. Right? Some of you are may not be aware in this
area what's holding you back. Okay? A lot of you don't know how to face and befriend the hard emotions in this area specifically. Right? In this specific area. Right? Can I be in the hard things in this area but not lose myself? Right? Can I really understand the relationships in this area require effort? Can I act before I feel ready? You're never gonna be ready. Right? You're never gonna be ready. Well, here's the question for you. When would now
be the right time? When would now be the right time? Is now now the right time or is the future now the right time? Right? I think the best time to start was yesterday, so you might as well settle for today, right now. Right? You shine without dimming yourself further. It's thinking about the area where you're stuck most. Can you shine without dimming yourself further people? Right? Can you own your desire for health, wealth, and happiness without
guilt in that area? Do you believe it's okay to want more in that area congruently in your nervous system? Do you allow yourself to receive in that area? Do you welcome abundance in that area? Do you use your past as wisdom but not a barrier in that area? Can you embrace healing and growth? And can you can see triggers in that area as an opportunity for you to be able to have a, to grow rather
than a setback? So in that area, who here feels like it's you probably have a little bit of work to do in the area where you're stuck. So you're in the right place.