Hello. Oh, hi. Well, so I definitely feel very stuck, and, it just feels so So let's pause for one second just so I have some context. What is the next level that you're trying to reach right now? Okay. Kind of in my entire life. So 3 years ago, my No. Next level is not 3 years ago. Okay. Okay. So, well I'm gonna challenge you to be specific about the future right now. Okay. So I'm a widow with 2 small kids. And Hold on a second.
Without giving me context Okay. I'm sorry. Okay. So let me give you an example. Let me give you an example. I'll give you an example. Okay? I would like to have a 6 figure coaching business by January 1st next year, Something like that. Right? Or I would like to find someone, who is because my life partner, or something like that. Right? So there's a very specific concrete
thing. Got it. Right? Okay. So what would that be? Without context, which we'll get into if I need to, I just wanna know what your next level is first. And maybe Okay. Check this out. Maybe your next level is try to figure it out what your next level is. I think I I'm not super specific, but I kind of know what's my next level. Okay. And, it would be in all areas of my life, actually. Okay. Because, I want to be much more self expressive, and let myself be seen. Okay. In what context
would be most important to you right now? Would it be business? Would it be relationships? Would it be health? Would it be finances? I think career. Okay. Career business. And would you be starting a business or growing a business? I would be, starting a business. Okay. So the next level for you is to start a business where you express yourself, and you are seen in some capacity that you're not being seen in right now. Yes. And what type
of business would that be? And if you say I don't know, we're gonna really think about that because I have a feeling you do know. Well Is it my first rodeo? Okay. So so, you know, I I switched recently from something to something else, and that and that new thing something else is, I would like to have, this is a little silly, A candle business where I make and sell candles and, I'll make, candle holders and hire, art artisans or artists to make candle holders. I
love that. Yeah. So the next level of your life, you're gonna bring more light to the world, it sounds like. I I love arts and beauty, and I would like to offer that to the world. Now I don't know if you'd noticed, but who's noticing her face being very different as she describes her dream? It's, like, kinda cute and kinda, like, think this would be really awesome and all these things. Right? So what does it feel like just to say that out loud? Oh, it
would be it would be amazing. It would let me express myself, my, you know, my, my, like, I see a lot of beauty, and I want people to see beauty. And I and I and I also, done, like, a lot of, like, work where, like, you know, alternative stuff. And I have great ideas of candles because I also think of them more like a spiritual. And, like, when people look at at fire and burning and, like so there's, like,
some spiritual depth to it that I would like to, put in. And, also, and I don't wanna talk about what my business idea is. It's kind of silly right now probably Well, you'd be pretty rough. So let's think about for a second. Right? Think about for a second. How long have you been sort of stuck not able to actualize the next level? A really long time. Qualifying. Is it a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade, longer? Oh, man. That's kind of, like, a really personal question.
Okay. You don't have to answer it if it's too personal. I, you know, I kind of feel like, my entire life, because of the, you know, childhood. So I'm, like, also, like, I don't know, like, how you know, whatever you are offering, is it also helping with, like, PTSD and and, like, you know, some trauma? Like, I like, I'm you know? That's why I'm also, like, curious about, like, flexible nervous system versus regulated nervous system. And is whatever you are offering is something that
I I am ready for. And you did say, you know, I'm I'm not, sub medicating or, you know, I'm past that time. I didn't actually didn't say that. I actually take prescription medication to this day. Oh, like, you know, like, why, you know, alcohol or Yeah. Low low level of coping. Yeah. Okay. Low low level of coping. So, like, I'm past I'm way past that. And I'm also, like, you know, I've done a lot of, like, Ayahuascas and, all those stuff
and all systematic work, and I have therapists. I've never had a coach. So my life right now is very much into outside. My life right now is very much into healing, and it's more like, you know, also like gen you know, a lot of generational trauma Sure. Like having 2 kids and being a single mom. So it's a lot, but I, I I don't want I wanna live a bigger life. Yeah. That's right. So and I think that's why you're here. It's really normal for someone to come into our
space after doing a lot of healing and wanting more. That's exactly sort of our scope. Now I'll say I'll I'll speak to one thing you said. Do we treat PTSD? The answer is no. We don't treat any mental illness. We're coaches. We're not medical providers. So we don't do diagnoses. We don't treat diagnoses. We I will say this. We've had people in our programs that, when they go through our program, we'll talk to the therapist and the therapist will notice
that their symptoms have shifted and improved. But I can't make any medical claims because I'm a coach. It'd be outside my scope of practice and not ethical. But what I will tell you is we do focus on nervous system regulation, nervous system flexibility, and making the future something that's safer to embody. And we everything that we do is informed in a way by the past. We're sort of not really coaches, and we're not really healers because if you think about pure healing, it's
really in the past that we're healing. Right? We're healing childhood stuff. We're healing family dynamics. And and and we definitely do that. However, the problem is you can get stuck in a trauma loop where all you're doing is talking about your trauma. Right? And let me just give you an example. So before COVID, we were doing a seminar. I believe it was in Phoenix, Arizona, and it was a room full of therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, coaches, and
people who want to sort of business. Okay? And we were like processing the trauma of what the act of them into it and why they're wanting to do it and finding their inner spark and all type of stuff. And then we started getting into goal setting. Hear me now. They were so dysregulated by the idea of setting goals. And I I I was like, I was so shocked. I stopped the seminar, and I said, hold on a second, guys. It's probably, like, 4 or 500 people there. Hold on a second.
Who here is really triggered by this goal setting process? Oh, hey. I mean, all the hands are going up. Right? I'm like, y'all, we just we just we just process some of your deepest trauma. Why was that easier for you? Right? It's like, they could talk about trauma, all of my trauma, my history, my past all day long, The future and goals, ah, scary.
Right? It should be the opposite if you think about it. Right? What we realized is that it's easier to talk about the past and the devil that you know and the, even if what you went through was horrible and awful, right? It already happened versus what might happen once you step into uncertainty, because creating expansive experiences requires a degree of uncertainty and our nervous systems are oriented towards being stuck and being safe. I understand.
I'm just, like, wondering, more in the context of, like, triggers, like, you know, things that, like, come up to my mind, stuff that like, the whatever self criticism or whatever thoughts that I have that stop me. Mhmm. So, you know, when, you know, hearing no or something, you know, being you know, like, getting smaller. You know? Like, you know, I I can feel, you know, great and and be, you know, getting my shit done, pardon my language. And then
something happens, and I'm, like, retreating. You know? Right. So, like, I don't, like, I don't know if that explains my predicament. Well, it it tells me that you've done a lot of healing the way that you're talking about it. Okay? So when we talk about when we, like, here doing functional coaching, like when we talk about triggers, we think of it differently. Right? So your triggers, we don't believe that your triggers stop you. What we believe. Try this on. You don't have
to believe this. Okay. But just try it out for a second. Just think about it for a second. What we believe is that it's your relationship to the trigger that stops you. So for example, something happens, someone says no, right? Then you feel something in your body or you have a thought that comes up. Does that make sense? So there's a trauma and there's a be the no is related to something from your past, right? So
there's an injury and there's a trauma response. There's a trauma and a trauma response. And they say, oh, I can't because of my trauma response because of my trauma. And I say, good job knowing that. But the real reason why you can't is because you had trauma and a trauma response, and you don't have a healthy relationship between those two things. You're letting one of those two things drive your life versus saying, for example,
well, every time I say no, I shut down. Every time somebody says no, I shut down. Try on this idea for a second. Right? Every time I say someone says no, I shut down. My body shuts down, and I don't know how to be in a good relationship with the part of me that shuts down. Because when you think about parts work, much of you need parts work, but when you think about parts work or triggers, whatever you want to call them, they're all the same idea, right? Whatever part of you
is speaking up is speaking up because of its history. If it's shutting down or because of being rejected or whatever the fear is, right. Something happened in your history. That makes that make sense. And the growth is to say I'm triggered and I have a really beautiful relationship with my trigger. So when I get overwhelmed, I have a better relationship with overwhelmed. So I don't it doesn't take me out. So think of it this way.
I'll give you a different analogy. I was talking about Tom Brady earlier. Apologies for talking about sports, but sometimes it's just the best analogy. So when Tom Brady is doing pliability work and and being able to train his body to be able to be tackled, he's not saying I get tackled and I stop. He's saying I'm training in a way so when I get tackled, I can get back
up and keep going. And that is what performance is all about. Performance is about being able to be into uncertainty, be able to experience the no, be able to experience people's disapproval, be able to experience people not wanting life the way that you want it, be able to set boundaries, to have a feel the hard feelings, and to keep going without bypassing them and pushing them out of your awareness and saying, you know what? That part of
me makes sense. So it's between the trauma and the trauma response. We wanna be able to, improve our relationship to those two things and not let either one be in the driver's seat of our life. And we wanna put them in the passenger seat. We don't wanna dismiss them. We don't wanna bypass them, but what we don't want is them to make the decision for us. And that's what we're used to is being at the whim of our emotion. Does that make sense?
I have a trigger and now it's bigger than me. Well, if trigger's bigger than you, what does that say about how big you are? Must say that you think you're really small. Right? So what that means is we have to start to improve our relationship with the trigger or the part that's speaking up so that we can start to direct it and ourselves in a new way. And that is more about performance than is about healing because in somatic work, I love somatic work by the way.
Okay. What does somatic work? It means I'm going to sit here. I'm gonna feel it. I'm gonna move it. I'm gonna breathe it. I'm gonna have a catharsis perhaps and, like, express myself and all these things, which could be very beautiful. But the the the problem with it, if that's all we're doing, is we're not actually getting any training in on, let me go, like, experience what's like to be rejected and get a no and
be okay. And that's building emotional strength. And that's part of what we wanna focus on, but we wanna be able to be in, ex experience our triggers and continue to move forward while not bypassing them. Because there is a wisdom there, but we don't want them to drive our life. Does that make sense? It does make sense. So you mentioned the parts work. So so is that something that is more for healing and this what you are talking about more helping people achieve what they want in
life? Well, parts work is more Parts work is a category of, a way of approaching things. There are many modalities of parts work. There's healing based parts work primarily, and there is performance based parts work. And that's really what we focus on is really how to integrate your parts to move forward. So for example, internal family systems is probably the most famous, parts work healing modalities, but they don't have a
performance element to that model. It's a healing model. Right? So we get a lot of people who have identified many parts of many triggers, but they don't know how to move it forward into an uncertain future. So what we do is we we have our own approach to parts work that helps people understand that they have multiplicity or they have different aspects of their psyche, however you want to describe it, and how do you ever move forward
with less internal conflict. However you wanna say it. There's many different ways to describe it. That's a so I'm sorry. So the last question. How do I know which one which one I'm ready for? I mean, how do you know anything that you're ready for? How have you known in the past? As to how do you know I'm I'm more of, like, the person who, like, jumps in. So I'm not a good person to, like, really, you know It's about trusting yourself. I see. Yeah.
So in the past, though, how have you known that you were ready? Well, you know what? Don't ask me about the past because I haven't made too too many decisions. Talking about the past anymore. Okay. Got it. Okay. Yeah. Because yeah. The the, yeah, the history is not good indication. So you'll talk about the past when it comes to your trauma, but you won't talk about past when it comes to your strength. Okay. I I I got you. Well, no. No. Because I feel like I haven't made too many good
decisions. But there's gotta be at least one in your whole life where you made a good decision. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So how did you know it was a good decision? Because of the results that they got. Okay. So there's your answer right there. How do you know if it's the right decision? Well, it's gonna be based on the results. So the question to ask yourself is, are you wanting to show up and work with us and give it your
all? Because we'll give you our all to produce those results. So that's something you have to decide for yourself. But what I will tell you is, is that we, love understanding trauma and understanding what happened to people to help them create a bigger future, not being stuck talking about the past, but also honoring it so that we can make the goal setting process therapeutic and what's called a corrective emotional experience so that the process of achievement could be healing
rather than every traumatizing, if that makes sense. Good. So thank you for being here. Yeah. So good. So good.