self regulation helps you feel safe to heal. And most importantly, it helps you feel capable of creating a bigger and more uncertain future. The capability piece is so huge, especially if you have a trauma background. Okay? So the fastest way to move forward is self regulation, and safe co regulation. Safe transformational co regulation is what adds rocket fuel to self regulation because the neuroscience says that we need to have high quality co regulation, and that improves
our self regulation. self regulation does not mean by yourself regulation. Okay? It means knowing how to manage yourself in a way that helps you move forward. And when you have that safe connection, that's that bottom most important piece, okay, that safe co regulation is rocket fuel. And that's what makes it safe to move forward. Okay. And understanding this is how our clients, it aids them in healing their chronic illnesses and helps them create successful businesses to generate 10 to
$100,000 per month. Okay. Some of our clients have gone from, you know, literally trauma and food stamps to $100,000 months to fall madly in love again, to finally manifest what they deserve. Okay. So maybe you've known what to do. Maybe you even know what your trauma is. But now you know why you've been stuck. evolves, this makes
sense. Okay, so there is power in this approach, in this self regulation approach, and it helps you make the leap from low level and high level coping, to freedom beyond overwhelm, because overwhelm is a sign that you're at capacity. Overwhelm is a sign that you're at capacity. So we want to grow your capacity. We want to help you recover, okay, and this approach is a lifestyle. It's not a moment or a magic bullet. Okay, now, you've heard me make this analogy. I'm gonna do it again,
but play along. This is for all the new folks. Okay, play along. Who here in the last say, 12 months has taken a shower? Okay, now, let's just say you took a shower, who here feels like it's like, pretty possible that you took a shower a year ago today? Most likely, okay. All right. So when people like do like a seminar, and they're like, Oh, I took the seminar, but like, wore off. So well, the did the shower wear off that you took to write? It does, right? Or you go to the
gym one time? Okay? If you think about this approach, it's like the shower, right? We do it daily. Okay. And if you think about your self regulation, if self regulation in the work that you're putting in on this was like the gym, what would your results be? In your life, like how much time and energy and focus you put on it? Right? If you went to the gym six times in a year, you're not going to and you expect massive changes. That's not a realistic
expectation. We want consistency in this process who follows just makes sense. So just like showering, just like brushing your teeth, just like Exercise and Movement. self regulation is a lifestyle. It is not a magic bullet moment. Okay, and you cannot do this alone. So let's just see here, if we have anybody willing to do this, and then it'll be in the chat or in the comments. Who here feels like it is time if you just say yes, we were filming, it is time to come off of overwhelm Island.
I am done being overwhelmed, done. I'm done trying to handle it all. I'm done trying to take it all on. I'm done trying to be the strong one. I'm done trying to be the one doing all by myself. I'm done being the capable one, the one who figures everybody else out. Right. I'm ready to figure myself out. I want to know myself the way I know my mom and dad. Right? Think about that, right? Imagine that. Okay. Love mom and dad,
but I get you. Okay, so I asked you to bring the things that you had given up on into this workshop. I want to ask you a question. How long have you been stuck waiting to create that life? How long? Drop it in the chat? Or in the comments how long? Way too long? 20 years? 10 years? lifetimes? lifetimes? Plural? Yeah. Decade, decade, decade. Yeah. Okay, who here feels like it's time to get unstuck from this. So who here can see how being stuck in this? And not knowing how to self
regulate is related. Like the fact that you avoid certain emotions, the fact that you shut down certain emotions. So you want to express certain emotions. You can't be your authentic self is directly related to why you're stuck. Let me see a show of hands or just type yes, I can see. Okay, so all the work that you've been doing. Without that focus on self regulation won't work to get you to the next level. The vision boards won't work without this work. No matter how smart
you are. No matter how smart you are, I don't care how smart you are. That's metacognition good for you. Yeah, great cognitive abilities, but your Cymatics and your affective skills suck. Especially when things get hard. Okay, you have a mental six pack and an emotional cake.
Okay, all right. Okay, because self regulation is what will help you get better results. self regulation is like Miracle Gro to help you support the biohacking the manifesting the therapy, the coaching the self help, the energy work, we're Life Balance sustainable results. And this approach works for you. If you have a nervous system, if you have a nervous system, this works for you. Okay, if you have a body, this
works for you. If you have emotions that you know of or don't know of, it works for you, if you're an entrepreneur, a coach, a therapist, a parent, a high performer who want to lose weight, be healthier, have better relationships, whatever your goals are, it'll help you get there. Okay, let's get into some coaching. Feel free to raise your hand. And we will, we'll start to coach and Jenna, I know you're here and you are Co Co hosts. So please feel free to unmute. And also. Okay, cool.
So let's go to Hi. Hey, how's it going? I'm okay, how are you? Not too bad? Good, good. I think you actually called me yesterday, but I'm pretty happy though. Yeah, well, difficulties because I really didn't even know what I was gonna say, I've, I'm at a point where I'm just, my soul is tired. I'm just tired all the time. And I think where my biggest struggle currently is with romantic relationships. But also with my family. I kind of had a bad time last year, as did most people, but involved a
romantic relationship. But I did go to therapy. And I did do a bunch of things and discovered a bunch of stuff about my childhood that I didn't know. And that, yeah, that really was brought me to my lowest point and a lot better now. But it's moving past that it's moving forward. It's it's just knowing how to show up in and authentically expressing myself. I feel like I'm at a point where I want to stick up for myself and I want to connect with people, but it doesn't come out.
Right. And I think that's where my struggle is I can get passive aggressive. It doesn't it doesn't work out for me,
because it doesn't come out right for who?
I feel like it doesn't come out right for me that way? Because the response I get is, so for the people that respond the way that they do, I suppose. But at the same time, I can see why they would respond that way. Oh, yeah. You're so good at seeing why they would respond that way. But why are they so good? See why you'd respond that way? That's good point. See, the thing is, like, when you have really good self regulation, somebody can be flipping their lid, and it
doesn't bother you. Or if it does, it's way less doesn't take you out. Right? Yeah. So like if someone's passive aggressive, right, and you're in a regulated state, you're gonna say something like, wow, you having a hard day? Yeah. Versus like, Oh, my God, you have too much. It's like, what you're saying is yeah, for you. So what we want is authentic self expression is I'm going to be passive
aggressive sometimes. Okay, yeah. And I'm passive aggressive, then I'm going to set the people up in my life so that when I'm passive aggressive, that means X, Y, and Z not I have to be performative. So that people accept me. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes a ton of sense. So that's why I said, for who? That that's 1,000,000%. Right. What are you noticing in your body right now? Yours. I have tears right now.
That's a somatic response. Yes. And I think it's because when I'm talking to you, I feel understood. That's that base safe transformation and CO regulation. Yeah, yeah. Without that nothing else is possible. That you just made it a shining example of how that works. And I think you're amazing. And I love you. And yeah, I have a lot of fear about all of this stuff. Like I have your book. I say that I haven't read it yet,
because I'm terrified. So sometimes talking to the author is better than reading the book, you know? Yeah. Yes. Thank you. So, like, I guess that's what I'm trying to help understand is like, when you when you inhibit or hold back your emotions. Right? You don't assert yourself? You don't express your joy. Okay. No. That creates a negative self image. 100% right. You have a negative self
identity. Right. Yeah. And that creates an anticipation that because I have a negative self identity that that I'm a type of person that this type of stuff happens to. I'm bad. I have to change who I am. Yeah, right. That's what shame is. Yeah. Versus like, versus like, you know, what are you trying so hard? to how much effort you're putting in the couch triggered you are. That's okay, too. Yeah, I mean, that kind of explains the exhaustion.
Yeah, you're trying to hold it together for everybody else. You're trying to be that safe co regulation for them. But you're like, Well, what about me? When I exist, things don't go so well. So I'll just keep disappearing. Yep, there is no right way to show up. There's only just showing up the way you are. That's the right way. Yeah, I like that. I like that thing, then you start to realize I have tears. What are you feeling right now? I'm embarrassed.
So when you How do you feel about being embarrassed? That I shouldn't feel embarrassed. So you feel bad? Yeah. So you see, your meta affective awareness gets shut off because you disassociate from feeling embarrassed? Because it's vulnerable. So there's, there's very low emotional awareness in this state when it's about you, but very high emotional attunement was about somebody else. Yeah. Yeah, I would agree with that. Emotions are just these phenomena that are happening in
our body. Just feeling it's just the feeling. Literally just literally just the feeling. Now the feelings are intense, right? But it's like, it's not like, it's like, when you feel like someone has a gun to your head. That's different than someone actually having a gun to your head. Does that make sense? And that's a very extreme example. No, like, but feelings are not facts. But it is a fact that you're feeling a certain thing. Great. But what you're feeling may or may not actually be true.
And the worst part is when a feeling of like embarrassment or shame becomes predictive. That's when you get into stuck stuck into a cycle where you just anticipate everybody missing you. Not like, Oh, my God, where'd she go? Like, they're not? They don't see you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And anytime I do feel seen, this happens every time. Well, guess what, you're human. This is what happens when people feel seen when they don't feel seen before. Yeah,
that makes sense. I do remind myself that I'm human on a daily basis. So what your problem is, is that you have been around people who don't have the capacity to see you. Probably, and you don't really quite yet know how to see yourself. How someone else wants you to be. Yeah, I would agree with that. So your emotions, your physical sensations, your thinking, your defenses? haven't had time or space to be able to be processed until just a little bit recently. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Been an
intense year. Yeah. Right.
And so what you're experiencing right now, right here is a version of authentic self expression. Little tiny, brief moment of it. Yeah. What we want is for you to be able to feel safe to feel this way, or excited or joyful, or happy. As a base normal in your life.
That would be wonderful. That's what self regulation brings you. But it also changes your dynamics, your relationships, there's gonna be big changes that happen because when you learn how to meet your needs, you learn that people who don't know how to do that real quick. Like, I've just started to kind of speak up for myself a little more in certain relationships. One of them ended another one asked me why I changed. And in another one just kind of doesn't talk to me as much. So it's just
interesting. And, of course, I feel guilty about that. But I'm not asking for anything unreasonable. So but even if you were, if you want it, it's not unreasonable to ask it. That's a hard one to wrap my brain around. There's what's you're asking for it yet demanding it? Yeah. Now it might be a reasonable demand something must go to Mars with me. Like, okay, that's a little unreasonable. Right. But like I want you to there's nothing wrong with expressing what you want. Yeah. I think my verbiage
needs a little work. But, but when you have that meta effect awareness, that meta somatic awareness that metacognition you know, how you defend yourself. Yeah. And you restructure those experiences, it comes out differently also. Yeah, that makes sense. Right, and like, there's no, here's the thing, there's no way to get this wrong right now, because you're at the level that you're at. So you're doing great for that level. Does that make sense? It does, it really does.