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Safe. I gotta feel safe. Who's heard this word? Okay. You know what happened to safe? It got co opted by perfectionism. Am I wrong? I had to feel safe. What do you mean perfectly safe? A 100% safe. I had to feel a 100 I had to feel 2 no. 200% safe. I have to feel safe for the present, past, and future beforehand. Right? And it's like, no. And what what was interesting, you know, Jen and I have been talking about this
phenomenon. And, like, like, a year or 2 ago, we were at the polyvagal conference watching it. And doctor Porges, who authored polyvagal theory, you know, he's the one who talks about the, you know, polyvagal theory being the science of safety. But he said something, and it was in passing. And this is why I always love learning because it's sometimes like you're like, oh, that one sentence is everything. He said, you know, the thing about safety is it's not that you have to have safety. You
have to have enough safety. That one word, enough, is a game changer. Enough safety. Not perfect safety, which means how much safety do you really need to move forward if it was a percentage? What do you think? Like, 90%, 35%? So here's what we think. You take it for what you what it's worth. Not even 51%. You need 50 point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero one percent. You just need just over 50 per if you're, like, just
safe, you're good. You're good. That's enough safety. And what happens is the student, the practitioner locks on this word safe, and it's like, now now I can't move forward because I'm not safe. Okay? The world is not safe, by the way, just so we're clear. Starting a business is one of the most unsafe things you could possibly do. Think about that for a second. You wanna start a business? You wanna grow a business? You wanna make 6 or 7 figures? That is like skydiving. Not safe
by nature. So we need safe enough who follows. Does it make sense? Okay? And so it's important to recognize that when people are just enough green, when you have just enough green, you can get there because success in sales isn't about convincing people. It's about creating enough safety for them, enough, just enough where they can say the yes. And then we can build the structure moving forward because when people feel safe enough, they trust
you, and that trust leads to action. And then when they feel safe enough, they trust themselves, and that trust leads to action because decisions are made emotionally, and then logic comes in later. And that neuroception determines whether someone feels safe enough emotionally to say yes who follows. Does this make sense? So if I if I had to show you sort of how this works in the brain anytime I bring out the brain, people think I'm super smart, but whatever. It's just the brain.
Okay. This is the front. This is the back. Cerebellum prefabricortex amygdala, limbic system. Okay. Here we go. So right in here, we have your limbic system and your amygdala. That's the fight or flight almond shaped piece of the brain. Okay? What's that what's the amygdala supposed to do if you know neuroscience? Midbrain. Keep you safe. Okay. It's it's it's where anxiety is. Like, danger. Danger, Will Robinson.
Danger. Danger. Danger. Okay. Stranger. Danger. Right here. It's it's it's it's it's it's this is the safety mechanism. Okay? We need to now emotion also happens here, but a lot of emotion also comes from the prefrontal cortex just so we're clear about that. Most of your opioid receptors in your whole body, the feel good chemicals, come from your prefrontal cortex, not your lower brain area. Okay? So what that means is we need to turn this down to 49%.
That's it. We gotta turn it down to 49%. If we can get that to 49%, it's a win. Who follows? This makes sense y'all? Okay? Because inherently, everything in life is risky. We just wanna derisk it enough to be able to move forward. And if your state doesn't allow that to happen, it's not gonna happen. When you wanna scale your business sustainably, it requires understanding and working with your client's nervous system, not against it. It's not about manipulation at all because you don't need
to sell. We usually create enough safety and connection. If you do the marketing right, if your offers were done right, then literally the nervous system will do the rest because we can prime people ahead of time to feel safe with you because the nervous system drives every single decision unconsciously first. And if you can create a experience where people feel enough safety, okay, then you can ethically influence them to say yes. Who
follows? This make sense? Okay? And because we don't wanna freak people out at all. Okay? Now here's the thing. Okay? There's a a one of the things that's been trending in the last couple years is what's called parts work even though it's been around for a very long time. Has anyone heard of parts work? I'm curious. Some people. Okay. So parts work and synonymous with internal family systems, though IFS is not, many modalities have parts work, not just IFS. Okay? Now here's the thing. Who
here has discovered parts of yourself? Maybe a procrastinator, parts of you that are anxious, parts of you that are had me a hard time being seen. Okay? You have different or different emotions. You can think of it as emotions, David. Right? Different emotions, anxiety, stress. Those are different aspects of who you are. Right? Who here can name either different emotions or different parts? Parts that yawn when they get called on, perhaps. Right? But think about that for a
second. Who here can be like, I know I procrastinator. I know that part of me. I even have it named. Okay. Perfect. Okay? Here's the problem for you now. This is your problem. Okay? Once you know about a part, you can't blame it anymore. I swear. Maybe not you, but there are people whose whole agenda is to find parts of themselves to build all the reasons why they can't. Look at all these parts that I have. I can't possibly versus look at all these parts I have. Now I
can make a different choice. And when you know you have emotion, like anxiety, stress, depression, when you know it, you know it and you can make a different choice. Because when we make protectors explicit, when we name them, that is what gives you the ability to make a different choice, and the feeling will come later. Does that make sense? We're not talking about feeling good in the moment. Think about this. Right? Anyone here ever
workout, do you feel good before or after the workout usually? After. Right? Before or after meditation. Before or after sleep. Right? The best stuff for the feeling follows the action so many times. And so people are sitting there who wanna change the world waiting around if you're safe enough, but it's like, it's never gonna happen. Just go. We gotta move forward. And ethical sales is knowing how to get people out of their dorsal
patterns and choosing themselves. Does that make sense? I I hope that makes sense to you. I want that to land. This is helping people choose themselves with agency, and one of the best ways to do that is through storytelling. Right? Because it bypasses the conscious mind. Who here has noticed that I've told a story or 2 during this training so far? Okay? Did you enjoy them? Did they resonate with you? Who here had a takeaway from one
of the stories that I shared? And so stories help people orient themselves in a different way. Right? Because what we don't wanna do is we don't wanna go to battle with their protectors. Right? We wanna help them get it in a different way. Stories, people can locate themselves in their stories, and it speaks to the unconscious mind in a better way. Okay? And here's another
thing. Just being heard helps people come out of the dorsal. Who here has ever, been mad at someone because they didn't hear you? Anybody? You just get all pissed. Who's I'm talking about? Right? Who here has ever had that just eliminated once they once you feel heard? It's just like all the anger or whatever just goes away. The second you feel heard, you just feel relieved. I'm curious. Who's ever had that happen before too? Right? So
just being heard helps people come out of dorsal as well. Just listening. Right? The problem is if you try to do sales with your practitioner, you're gonna try to solve their problem. Who follows? Does it make sense y'all? Are you tracking with me so far? Okay. So what's important to recognize about neuros up to sales is that it's a state dependent process to help people feel safe enough, to help them understand their protectors, to make a
different choice. Who he understands is starting to get that the state of your nervous system influences the state of potential buyers' nervous systems and that their dysregulation cannot equal your dysregulation. Does that make sense? Their dysregulation during the sales process cannot equal your dysregulation during the sales process for you. Does that make sense, Joel? We want you in green. If that tracks with you, give me a thumbs up so I know. Yes? Okay. So I'd like to
take brief sixty second takeaways. And if you can't raise your hand, just type, like, hand or something in the chat, and we can bring you up that way as well. But I'd like to hear some brief safety second takeaways about what I've just shared around, polybangle theory and neuroseptic sales. So feel free to raise your hand. Get a little green. Get a little ventral. I Hello. Hi. I was not raising my hand. I was
giving you a thumbs up. But Well, you're here. Yes. So, my takeaway is that I'm aware of what you were saying, but I have found times where I get thrown off in the sales process when the person that I'm dealing with is super anxious. That's right. Exactly. And so I have to be more aware of of that within myself so that I'm, like, doing that with someone else.
Exactly. Right. And what's interesting is is that, like, usually, when, like, the offer is being made or, like, you're trying to close the sale, right, that's the moment of most tension. Right? And that's where you have to be the call list. Does that make sense? Right? Yeah. For the reason that you just said. So I love that you said that. And it's to learn the practice. Yeah, please.
That it when I was going through my menopausal process, I would have a hot flash because I was so stressed, like, every time I had a new patient. So every single time. And I was very clear that I was like, oh my god. I'm having a hot flash. And I was like, this is always happening when I had a new patient. So I had to, like, get myself together. My body was physically showing me that
I was feeling calm and relaxed. That's right. And so changing your association to that, you know, it it kinda makes you wonder, like, what's causing that too. Right? Is it, like, maybe the menopause makes you more susceptible to it, but it's also something from the outside that yes. Exactly. So it was that, not the other things, but the sale. Every time I had the sales Right. I had a hot flash. So that was the best of going into that for myself. So I had to change If
I may ask, what is your you said patients. So what do you what do you do for work? I'm a naturopathic physician, and so I work with, hormonal imbalances. Okay. Great. So did you ever get hot flashes when someone booked, time to come see you and, like, go over, like, blood work or anything like that? It it oh, and that's why I'm saying it. It was like only like, I would get hot flashes every single time I had a new patient for, like, such my thing. So I
was like, oh my god. I'm so stressed every single time I have. Not once did you have a hot flash when you saw their C reactive protein level. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Very interesting. I love that. Let's hear it from you all. So good. Naturopathic physicians rule the world. I love that. Couple other 60 second takeaways. I would like to hear what you're
learning about state and what's landing for you before we move on. There's so much value in the breakdown of understanding what people are learning, so feel free to raise your hand, and we'll do a couple more. Think of it as exercising your green. So I have always realized I do this, but, when I can sense the customer or the client this isn't my corporate job right
now. I'm trying to get out, but I'm in sales. And when I can sense that they might not have the money to pay, then I will always throw in, like, oh, but I can ask my manager for 20% off or, like, I'll get into that, like, wanting to discount right away even before they've told me that they can't afford it. I can just sense that that's where the conversation is going.
And and I think I've, for lack of better words, screwed myself out of some bigger deals because I've assumed that versus, like, holding back and, like, staying true to the value that I know what we have brings and letting them come to me with that response first before, like, preemptively saying that out of fear that they might not work with me altogether. Right? That's
exactly right. So you're going yellow and red, what's called anticipatory fear, which is like anticipatory fear is a mofo because there's so many possible ways in which someone could respond. And when we don't have enough information, our brain fills in the worst. Mhmm. And because if you think about it, you're walking in the woods at night. You hear, like, a snap or something like that. You don't think, oh, my friend is pranking me. Right? You're like, the worst case scenario is gonna
come to your mind. Right? And so when we lack information and something has emotional charge to it, we go to the worst case scenario automatically. So that again, that's a great example of, like, you could be the best at coaching or the best at therapy or the best at whatever. But if that's how you sell, it's gonna be, like, where are the sales? Does that make sense? Yeah. So huge awareness. I love that. It's here for it's here for y'all. Anticipatory fear
killing sales. Let's not do that. I love that. We wanna stay as green as possible.