Welcome, I want to just one of the things I love about doing these calls is that I get to, like, share with you kind of like, the bleeding edge of my thinking way before gets out into the public. And I wanted to share one thing with you. As we're moving forward, I think the topic that I'm most interested in next is, you know, gosh, like, I think like, six or seven years ago, I was like, it's probably important to start talking about trauma more explicitly in the coaching
industry. And sort of pioneering that thinking. And now, what I'm thinking is, you know, we've been doing a lot of this, and let me just sort of see if this resonates with you, we've been doing a lot of the somatic work, or trauma work, and we're starting to maybe think about stuff that happened in your history, or building more interoception, where you're becoming aware of how you're
feeling. And it's not like when you don't worry of how you're feeling, the first thing you feel is all the good shit. Seriously, like, what is this stress? Right? I really think like the future of this space, as if being trauma polyvagal informed is not enough. In terms of our thinking, I think the future is addressing something you may or may not have heard of. But the clinical term is what's called Ethnic phobia. That's a clinical term, fancy
words for fear of emotion. And I'm really interested in this topic, because a lot of the trauma work, the somatic experiencing ifs, like whatever that whatever the approach is, it's like we're getting in touch with this emotion. And it's like, what do we do with it? Can we feel it? Right? Can we can we sit with it? And will it kill us if we do, right? And not only that, like, what are the things that we were scared of feeling?
And because we're scared of filling it, one of the things that we don't do, right, so for example, one of the biggest things in ethic phobia literature, is a lot of us have a fear of what's called assertion, meaning if we assert ourselves what's going to happen, and so we do a lot of things to not assert ourselves. And if you think about what agency is agency is this idea of personal power, basically, that I know on inside of me, I can
affect change externally? Well, we need to learn how to assert ourselves. And so it's becoming sort of clear to me that the next step, once we understand trauma, and the nervous system is to like, alright, what are the skills, I need to deal with
the scale motion. decrease the frequency, intensity and duration of, you know, sympathetic or dorsal responses and increase the frequency intensity, duration of ventral responses, and really, in a safe environment, but I really think of it like having, like, analogies are always great, but I think of it as having like, an emotional six pack, or something like that, right? Or like big
emotional biceps, right? Where it's like, I can sit with uncomfortable feelings, and know that they're going to pass they're going to change, they're not always going to be the same. And to imagine what life would be like if you were able to do what you want, with a reduced or limp or a smaller fear of
feelings. Whether it's, you know, depression, sadness, grief, anger, whatever it might be, right abandonment, if you were had more levity around how you felt, meaning, it didn't matter how you feel, because you knew you could get through it, what could you possibly do with your life, and we have to look at things like, based on the feelings I either want to feel or don't want to feel? What I think about myself? What do I think about others? Is it safe for me to express myself here?
Right, because emotional identification, understanding your emotions, safely, but then also safely expressing them? It's like, that's like, the most if you think about those, can I share my feelings? And the answer a lot of times is no. Right? Or I have to share positive feelings, or I have to share feelings where I agree with you, but I can't share feelings that might disagree or might cause any type of negative
tension. And it's really interesting when I think about, like the future of the space. And I think it's going to be about emotional fitness, emotional viability, and reducing the fear of feelings. Because if we weren't so afraid of feelings, I think we could accomplish almost anything, because it's just the feeling, but just I get passionate about this stuff. So I don't know if
that resonates with you. But we're going really deep into that thinking right now, because we've done so much to help people understand what happened to them where they want to go the parts of them that blocked them. Everything that we're doing here and in this in this academy, and it also seems like really tooling out the like the process. And the first principles of effect, meaning emotion, African emotion are
basically the same thing. And specifically how to surface feel and release and share A difficult effect, or difficult emotion, I think is probably like, one of the most important skills that we can think about because it enables everything else to happen, right? Because it's remember, it's not what happens to you, it's really the root cause of why you're stuck. The root cause of why you're stuck is the relationship you have the parts of you that were
hurt by what happened to you. So parts of you go into overwhelm parts of you go into sabotage, or whatever you want to call it self protection parts, if you go into dissociation or depression, the emotion is not the problem, the problem is your relationship to that emotion or part. Right, when you feel overwhelmed, or when you feel depressed, or when you feel sad, or when you feel
angry, what do you do? And that's the part that I think is like, I'm really zeroing in on, as, I think the next wave, because I think a lot of people are starting to be like, Okay, well, I know my trauma, but now I'm stuck in these frickin feelings. Who knows? I'm talking about you're like, great, like, I felt better before I did my trauma work, at least I was dissociated. Sometimes I wish,
like, if I could just go back. I had less feeling and more avoidant attachment god, my life would be so much better sometimes. Right? But it's like, Why do I have to have all the fields? Right? So I think that's something for you to think about, as we're moving forward is like, what is your relationship to your emotional landscape? And specifically, what is your relationship to the emotions that you maybe don't
want to feel? And are you even aware of what the emotions are that you don't want to feel? Right, and what's so bad about feeling that what happens if you do so that's just something I'd love for you to kind of take consider and think about as we kind of get started today. And it's a little bit of a tangent, it's definitely related to all of the material in here. But I'm really deep into the ashtag phobia effect at that phobia.
Literature right now. And really seeing that like, basically, if I had to summarize it, it's sort of seems like the world is asking how do I do my trauma work without dealing with feelings? And I don't think those things go together. Basically, I see a lot of head nods. So yeah, it would be really nice to be able to do that. And you know, maybe one day in the future just had like a little chip, or it turns down the pain receptor or something that we can go through stuff.
But right now, I think it's about and also understanding, like, how do we get back into positive states. So something to think about something to ponder. I'm deep in that research and just thought I'd share and it's one of my favorite things about me to do these calls is I like to just share the thinking with you because I do believe that you're on the leading edge and the work that you're doing here and I want to keep you that way.
And you might even know about Aflac phobia now and your therapist doesn't, who knows? Maybe it's not your therapist. Have you heard of aspect phobia? They might be like, no, what is that quick Google search, right? And if they do, that's pretty badass.