Hey, Mastin. Yo. Yo. Yo. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all the work you're doing, man. 1st and foremost, for sure. I've been following you for a while, and I'm really grateful for a lot of the things you share and the indications. Well, thank you so much. It's a lot. Very powerful. So for me, the way, the blockages are coming up is primarily with work. And, you know, I've been working on myself for quite some time as you mentioned, and I'm a yoga instructor, and, you know, by
passion. I own restaurants by trade. And, you know, the one thing that I struggle with is the procrastination and just, like, really getting over distracted from some degree and, you know, what what you were asking earlier as far as, like, recognizing the emotion that I'm afraid of feeling, I have a hard time with that. I'm having a hard time even finding what that emotion could be now granted. Probably need this a lot lot more coaching from that standpoint to dig it out.
You know, on the surface from when the from the works that I've done up until now through you and through doctor Gabor Mate as well, of course, it's the underlying abandonment issues. There it is. You just named it. Fear. Yeah. That's that's a good one. You know? And then fear of, failure. Like, that's huge, you know, coming from a father, in a childhood where my father is a perfectionist, and there was a lot of neglect and emotional abuse from that standpoint.
And I found a lot of I found a lot of forgiveness. I've been practicing the for, a couple of, couple of months now, and that's really helped me, down regulate my nervous system when I feel those things, when I get into those moments. But that procrastination is still very much there. You know? And, it's it's interesting. It's interesting. And, you know, I I have I have a full plan, and I'm just failing to execute the, you know, the smallest steps. So When you when you talk
about first of all, I love I love doctor Mate's work. He's he's phenomenal. Have you done, like, any of his, like, Compassionate inquiries. So you've are you trained in that? I took his workshop. I'm not a Okay. Okay. You know? Okay. Yeah. I just I just wanna make sure I understand your context so I can talk to you from that place. Yeah. So, like, first of all, compassion inquiry is so important and falls into the category of somatic experiencing and IFS and
EMDR and all these things. Right? It's a really important, it's a beautiful modality and, D'vor's work and and, you partner with a Kundalini yoga teacher into the work, I believe, too, which is pretty cool. Mhmm. And so, like like like, body based, all those things. Right? I would actually say, though, that I actually think that your see, your plan is of the, it's a cortical plan, meaning it's like it's it's in your prefrontal cortex.
It's like it's like it's a it's a it's up here. Right? But, like, you have a different plan below the neocortex, like in subcortical body base. Right? And I think you're actually executing that plan really well. And that plan is to be in proximity. I imagine the execution of the plan would possibly take you out of proximity. Mhmm. Through certain situations, people, familiarity, and, you know, think about abandonment wounds is that, like, we'll cling on to the most
dysfunctional thing just because it's something. Because something, even if it's dysfunctional, is better than the void of nothingness. Right. Does that make sense? And we can acquire forever on that. Yeah. The capacity to build the ability to feel that whatever you wanna call it, abandonment, sadness, whole void, etcetera, because what that costs you is your purpose. What that costs you is your future. Mhmm. And so we can inquire for days. We can feel
it. We can step back from it. We can understand it. We can integrate it. We can understand it. We can make it implicit and explicit. We do all those things. And yet, my plan is working well to maintain the level of capacity of I have an understanding, but you know what? I don't really know how to navigate this feeling with more intensity, more on the line, more pressure, more stress. Right? And and so we think about, SC or compassionate inquiry
or sensory motor, any any of the bottom ups, which are beautiful. They get you to a level of, like, okay. I'm I'm kind of here and aware of it, and it's not like I'm not retraumatized by experience as emotion. Right? But it's like, okay. But there's more life than that, so that's a good place to arrive to. It's a good place to arrive to, but, like, it's kinda like when you're in, like, a 12 step program. I remember when I was in my first 12 step program, I was like, there has to be more life and
sobriety. Like, sobriety is important, but, like, what else is there? I want joy, happiness, excitement, aliveness because it was super not bored, but I was using sobriety as boring as shit. You know? And so, like so it's it's really about how to bring what the work you've done in cash inquiry into a bigger future. And that means bigger feelings of abandonment and bigger feelings of grief. And so the procrastination is a successful attempt at keeping proximity Mhmm. At the
level of current challenge that you're under. Mhmm. Does that make sense? Yeah. And so what we wanna do is build capacity for the next level. Mhmm. Right? Capacity increase in that experience, etcetera, all those modalities, physical therapy, beautiful. Right? But if you wanna go get on the field and go win championships, different approach. But if we don't know what your injury was, harder to know what to do in performance. But performance and healing are not the same. Right.
Does that make sense? Yeah. It totally does. It totally does. It's like the 2 the suit the two sides of the actual coin, what keeps you one side stuck because of that, proximity and keep myself into that because that becomes familiar almost. It's almost like the familiar face. Yeah. Yeah. It's really interesting. So the question where I falter through, it's like with all the work and stuff like that, do I just continue with the same work and allow myself to create more capacity and
take small steps, at which I have been. It's not like I haven't been, but, you know, of course, there's a part of me that's just like, I got 2 years. I got these next 2 years to really make a plan and land. I'm a Vedic astrologer as well, so there's a lot of framework around it as well, where it's just like, holy shit. The clock is ticking. I'm 43 years old. I have 2 boys. You know? I know I'm meant for so much more. Yet again, I'm just like you know? I do get hard on
myself. I do go hard on myself at points where I'm just like, you know, I I I judge myself for not being where I'm supposed to be or where I should be, you know, especially in the image of maybe my father. That's the figure that Yeah. I uphold myself to the most. I did notice my reaction time, like, my regulation being shortened. Like, what would take me, like, 6 months to just kinda, like, even just get my shit together to think
straight and not to go down this rabbit hole. You know, within a week now, I'm able to just bounce back and be like, okay. I'm here. I I I play my harmoniums. I do my chants. You know, I have all my Vedic stuff that I work on, and they really help with with the harmony and and actually singing, getting my voice out from that standpoint. So I guess Yeah. The path forward is what beautiful. I guess the path forward is what and I work with Tommy, which I know you know Tommy, Tommy Rose.
Yeah. Love it. Yeah. I went with Tommy on tour a couple times and he's amazing as well. You know? So I'll tell him that. Go to his head. Hey. I know. Right? And Kia. So so yeah. Kia is well, Kia is amazing. Yeah. So Tommy, though no. The Kia. So, like, what I would say to you is that, like, we can either help you improve your relationship to abandonment or you can wait for your next Saturn return. Right. That's that's about
15 years from now. Yeah. Right? So it's like, which do you want? Right? If Saturn comes back around, I was like, deal with it again. Yeah. Right? Or, like, I could deal with it now. Right? So that that's really the the question you wanna ask yourself. And and here's the thing. Right? On some level, your perfectionism is the way in which you maintain close proximity psychically, meaning not like psychic, like energy, like in your psyche, right, in your body Mhmm. To your
father. Intellectually. Yeah. Right? It's it's that's the bond. It's the perfectionism. Right? If you're not if there's no perfectionism, then he wouldn't be close. If he's not close, then I'm alone. Mhmm. Oh, shit. Well, weird. I I wanna do all this other shit that's not, like like, linear in my life over here. Okay. So to but the reason why that's what you're looking for is because our nervous systems are
seeking integration. And so Mhmm. Our hopes and dreams and goals and aspirations on some level are, you know, fun to get to, create abundance, all the different things that you want. But the the actual purpose of those goals is to create integration and a corrective emotional experience in your system. Right? And so we wanna create, more. We actually wanna up regulate the feelings you're feeling around abandonment with a different outcome.
So this is more like compassionate, instead of compassionate inquiry, it would be like compassionate activation. Right? Like, if you think about, like, building muscle. Right? You tear it down before it build back build back stronger. Right? But you would never try to make your muscle stronger if if it was like a ligament was hurt. Right? Mhmm. So you're like, okay. I got my range of motion. It's kinda
there. I need to go get I need to go build strengths in this area around my my my abandonment wound and perfectionism. Right? Mhmm. Which another way to say it is go be imperfect and go get abandoned a lot, but with a different outcome. Mhmm. Does that make sense? Yeah. And that's what we teach because, like, the way the more the more I really get into this, like, the mechanisms, we basically teach the emotional version of weight training where it's like we expose you to it. You
recover. You have more capacity. We expose you to more, more capacity, more capacity. Because my our job as coaches is to cause you to be uncomfortable just enough where you can orient to be comfortable again in that uncomfortability and then cause you to be uncomfortable again and cause you to be uncomfortable again and cause you to be uncomfortable again. And then your job is to adjust and build that capacity, basically. And the difference,
though, is that we're not going to bypass. We're going to include, and we're not going to let the past decide about the future as much as it wants to. Like, we have to have boundaries around time zone. Right? Our perspective is the past could decide about the past. So the data from the past gets to decide about what happened in the past. Mhmm. Right? But we have time zone boundaries where it's like, we're gonna move forward when we wanna use data from the future. I don't have any. Exactly.
The blank slate. Right? And so our job is to help you get more uncomfortable with a different outcome. Love it. And so the question you wanna ask yourself is, now or Saturn? Yeah. Exactly. Well, it's halfway through. It's in mid heaven right now. Yeah. Because the Saturn does the same freaking thing. You know? It's Yep. Oh, how you like me now? You know? Like, damn. My Saturn I was like, Saturn return is not real. The guy who turned 28, they're like, Saturn return is real. And I'm a captain. It
really is. You know, like, holy cow. Yes. Oh, you just went through it. It was it was it was I'm not looking forward to 56. That's for sure. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. I just went, you know, for me, it's in the 7,000 that, you know, obviously, that comes around relationships. And I think I've learned so much in the last 2 years around relationships because of
it. You know, like part of the abandonment issue around relationship has I've been able to shorten refract my, you know, successful down regulated system techniques in these 2 years. So I I do see that. And, I'm I I would love to explore more for sure. You know? Beautiful. And like I said, I've been following you for a while. So Beautiful. Well, thank you for being here. Thank you for raising your hand. And hopefully, we'll see you also again. Yes. You will. So good.