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When we look at money blueprints through the nervous system lens, there are 3 sort of categories that we look at to understand your relationship to money. Now who here understands, before I share these, that you have a relationship with many different things. You have a relationship with yourself. You have relationship with different parts of yourself. You might have a relationship with a pet. You have a relationship perhaps with a significant other. You have a relationship
with social media. You have a relationship maybe with your parents or family. You have a relationship with many different things. Does that make sense? And there's different levels of relationship that you have. Do y'all get that, That there's we we have relationships with these things and the way you perceive it, the way you experience it is different. Maybe you experience money
different than a cat, for example. Does that make sense? So when we break down what are the ingredients of a of a relationship, there's these 3 categories that we wanna look at. The first is what's known as object permanence. Okay? What does that mean? It's like, will this thing, person, situation, stay or go? Right? So if you have abandonment problems, okay, that is an issue of object permanence. Things in your life that you value don't stay. Who follows? Does this make sense? Right? You
automatically assume that something's gonna leave. The money is gonna leave. The person is gonna leave. The situation is gonna leave. And this is at the root of a lot of, like, anxious attachment, for example. Okay? So just out of curiosity, when it comes to money, what's your first gut response? If you're gonna when you get it, is it gonna stay or go? What's your first what's your first automatic response? I'm just kinda curious. So we all have financial abandonment
issues. Okay. Got it. Okay. The next thing we looked at is what's known as object constancy object constancy, which is what is your relationship with money when it goes up and down, and what is the quality of that relationship. Right? So for example, if I take it out of finance for a moment, let's just say that you're growing up and you live in a household where you're certain that your parents will be there no matter what. So you don't have an obit you don't have an object permanence issue.
But maybe one of your parents is an alcoholic, and depending on their mood, you know they're gonna be there, but you don't know what mood they're gonna be in. They might be in a really aggressive mood. They might be in a really friendly mood. They might be kind of depressed. Right? And you learn to walk on eggshells. Has anyone ever learned to walk on eggshells around people? I'm curious. Okay? That's object
constancy. So your nervous system's like, they're gonna be here. I just don't know who is going to be here, which one of them is going to be here. Okay? And sometimes if you have bad object constancy, which is like the quality of this relationship is like, I don't know who's gonna show up, you would rather them leave because it's too up and down, too unpredictable. Right? Who follows? This makes sense? And so object permanence says, will they be here? Will they not be here? Object
constancy says, when they're here, how are they? But how are they reacting? How are they responding? And ideally, in relationships, we have healthy object permanence where people can leave and stay, and we can navigate that transition in a healthy way. And we know that they're gonna be safe enough when they're leaving and when they're staying so that that's, like, someone that we wanna be in relationship with who follows. This make sense? This directly applies to money. So when you have
money, what does that mean about you? How much are you allowed to have? Right? If you have too much, if you have too little. Okay? So that's important to understand as well. Like, well, let's say, will it go? And then when I have it, who am I? Who is it? How does it feel? Do I have to walk on eggshells? What does it mean relationally? There's a lot of complexity there. Okay. Who follows? Does this make a sense y'all? I'm talking neuroscience, so I
wanna make sure this makes this is making sense to you. Yes? Okay. Then so we're looking at object permanence, object constancy, and then we're looking at the quality of the environment. So what this means is, does your actual environment that you're in support secure attachment to money? Like, are the people that you're surrounded by, like, abundant? Does your environment, help you feel abundant and have secure attachment? Right? And a
lot of people, the answer is absolutely not. So think about this. If you have object permanence problems where you're not sure it's gonna be there, object constancy problems where you're like, even if it's here, it's not gonna take care of me, and environment problems that say this environment makes it really hard for me to earn. How do you think you're gonna do in earning y'all? Not well. Right? So this is what these are some of the,
ingredients of your financial blueprint. Okay? And what happens is this financial blueprint informs if money itself is trustworthy or not. Can you trust money? Okay? It informs if you feel valuable or not to earn money. It informs if you're effective at earning money. It informs if you are pro earning or anti earning. There was a little anti earning sentiment on the training yesterday. Right? There was like, capitalism is
bad. It's like, well, I wouldn't say that that's true. I think there are people who utilize the capitalistic society and and protocols for ends and means that are not great, but that has nothing to do with how you're gonna utilize it. Right? You can use it. It's like the force. Right? You use the force for good or for bad. Or if you're into Harry Potter, right, you can use magic, you can dark lord, you can be the the a white wizard. Right? So the point is is how it's the intention with which you
use it. That's all about your financial blueprint. Okay? And your financial blueprint will help you navigate what happens when money comes and when money goes. Right? Because guess what? In business, both are gonna happen. Money is gonna leave, and money is gonna come back. And there's a transition
between those things. Right? And if you're in a mindset of either lack mindset, poverty mindset, or if you're like a employee mindset, when money leaves, you don't have a lot of trust that's gonna come back. But when you're an entrepreneurial nervous system, you understand that the the coming and going, the ebb and flow of money is a natural part of things. And the goal is to put out, have back, put out, have back. And the problem is most of you struggle with the out
problem. Once it goes, you're like, and you get into, like, a a freeze response. They want to have a freeze response when it comes to this stuff. I'm curious. Financially, who here is already starting to understand how maybe you get in your own way with finances already? Let me see if I can share your hands. This is making a little bit more sense. Okay? Just wanna make sure that you're tracking with me before I keep going. Yes?
Okay. Beautiful. There is a researcher named Beatrice Beebe who, studied infant mother coregulation at like 1 one hundredth of a second intervals. Right. And what she found is that depending on how the mother would react when the baby would look away, that's how, attachment styles begin. So for example, if a baby is looking a way to regulate and the mom follows the child, right, and makes the child feel kind of
a mesh, that's where avoidant attachment can kinda begin. Right? And if the baby looks away and comes back and the mom's not paying attention, that's of being able to have anxious attachment because, like, wait, I went away and then you're not here. Mom could just be looking elsewhere. Right? The worst thing you could do, though, is still face where the baby looks away, comes back, and the mom's just, like, still a nonreactive and nonresponsive. Right? That really activates
children. What happens is all that stuff, how emotionally available mom is early on tells us really where our worthiness begins. Right? So if you think about, like, where I'm not worthy begins, it's like early stages, like early early the first few months. Right? Like, if I cry out and my needs aren't met, I must not be worthy because children are egocentric. It's all about them who follows. This makes sense. Okay. And so, like, literally, like like the
slightest levels of misattunement when we're younger can cause all kinds of problems. And then we look at, like, the work of doctor Gabor Mate, and he talks very similar about maternal emotional attunement. And your mom doesn't have to be your literal mom. It could be a grandfather, grandmother, a dad. It could be a stepmom. Like, the the it's whoever your primary caregiver was growing up. But if they're like, a lot of the attentional systems in the brain are wired in through
being paid attention to. Right? And that's where a lot of secure attachment also comes from. So a lot of times the beginning of, like, ADHD, which I had plenty of. Right? I finally had 3 types of a diagnosis when I was 32 years old. I was like, oh, that's why I do all this crazy shit. Makes total sense. Late diagnosis, by the way. Right? Would have been nice to catch that
earlier. Right? ADHD and dyslexia. And so that's because there's a lot of neglect growing up and not or Masten, but there's just there wasn't a lot of attention paid to me. So I really didn't know how to pay attention in a lot of ways. And so a lot of that stuff gets wired in early on and then doesn't get addressed, and then it shows up in our business. Who follows? This makes sense? Right? So if you think about money equals mom in many ways, that's a very interesting analogy to put out
there. Okay? And, because if you think about what are your top complaints about your mom or whoever your early caregiver was when you were younger, not there, not available, inconsistent, whatever it might be, if you take out mom and you put in money, what you might notice is there's a similarity there. Right? You might start to notice that what I believe about emotional attunement is also what I believe about financial support. What I believe about emotional
support is also what I believe about financial support. Right? Who follows? This makes sense. Okay? So it's where this stuff originates. Okay? So when we think about what money is, is it a tool for pain management? Yes. Is it a tool for social acceptance? Yes. Is it a tool to create happiness? Up to a certain point? Yes. Right? Is it the root of all evil? Depends on who you ask. If you worship money over your creator, maybe. Right? The Bible
doesn't say don't love money. Just doesn't say don't love money more than God, just so we're clear. Is money only for rich people? Is it energy? Is it easy to get? Is it hard to get? All this stuff is informed by our early relationships. And if we really think about what money is, if you if you buy something, that's an exchange. Right? You're giving money for something in return. Who follows? Does this make sense? Right? And the price you pay
is its value. So when we think about, like, how this relates to money equals mom from an attachment perspective, right, or money is the feminine, okay, well, like, what the exchange is early on is attention. Am I worthy of attention? What is my value? If I get good attention and because especially when we're younger, we need the attention of our caregivers. Otherwise, we're gonna die. Right? Our life is literally dependent upon
it. Okay? So adults still get abandoned, but children do. And so it's important to recognize that there's a direct correlation there. Now am I am I talking above or past, or is anyone confused by what I'm saying right now? Or is it making sense like, oh, that lands. Does that make sense y'all? Like, for me, when I feel like money leaves, I feel like it's never gonna come back on some level because when I was younger, I was just alone the whole
time. So I I just expect I'm always gonna be alone and that money is also gonna always leave me alone. Right? Who follows? This makes sense? Now that's not true, but I have parts that hold that. And if those parts are driving my business and my sales, it's gonna be a bad business. Give me a thumbs up or yes in the chat to make sure that you're tracking with me because this
is some, like, you know, kinda heavy stuff. Now when we look at the word money itself, I love etymology and studying words, it actually comes from Latin and the word moneta, m o n e t a. And what's interesting is that moneta is a feminine word in Latin, and it sort of has a reference to 2 different goddesses. 1 was the mother of the muses. Right?
So, like, you know, the muses were the these, like, goddesses that would sing and then, like, attract the sailors, and then they would crash on the shore and stuff like that. Right? So Moneta is related to to the goddess of the muses, and the mother of the muses, song and dance, and in a way also the source of inspiration because the muses would also, like, you know, if
we got gifted by the muse, we also have inspiration. But it was also Moneta was the surname of the goddess Juno, okay, which in, that time was the goddess of birth, the goddess of marriage, and the feminine principles of life. And what's really interesting, I like how packed in earlier societies were, in Rome, money itself was created in Juno's temple. Now the symbolism of that is money is created in the goddess' womb just like children who follows. This makes sense? And I'm just like
when I found this out, I'm like, this is crazy. Like, how attachment science and finance and words merge together, like, over time. And so in a lot of ways, like, money is the feminine, and there's a direct link between emotional supply from mom or whoever your early caregiver was and financial supply. And there's a direct relationship there. So if you felt secure over here, it's very easy to imagine feeling secure over here. And our expectations can transfer,
and they come up. So when we talk about repeating your conditioning from prior from childhood, this is what we're talking about because maternal emotional supply is valuable. And if you're valuable, you'll get her attention. Who follows. This makes sense? This is what we do as children. Now there's lots of other reasons. In fact, when we're younger, we don't say, oh, well, you know, I'm not getting my caregiver's attention because it's somebody must be
wrong with me. That's what we tell ourselves. We don't say there's trauma. There's this. There's that. There's chronic pain, there's issues. No. We don't we don't do that. We just make it all about us because as kids, we're supposed to be egocentric. Does that make sense?