All right, beautiful. So happy to be with you today and very excited to be connected and coaching and happy to dive right in. Hi.
Oh. Oh, all as well. Thank you.
Beautiful. I'm happy to hear too. Thank you. So how can I help you today?
Oh, wow, well, I don't know where to begin. But I guess I can start by saying like, I feel like, over the course of the program, I've really grown a lot. And I do feel like there's a lot of really practical things that I've been able to put into practice that really have made a big difference for me. Awesome. Where I am now is like, I guess kind of like my needs, my wants
are changing. I'm finding it so that like, I typically just like, want less, and don't have a lot of like, strong desire for like, more, which I feel like is a sense of growth. contentment? Yeah, yeah, I'm just content, you know, and I realized that some of the issues with my, my spouse is that, you know, the big dreams, and some times contrast, you know, me working on those priorities, both, you know, it was very practical in the moment things and being able to focus on what's in front of
me. And so, I'm all over the place. But I just realized recently that like, my brain was on like, overload. I was always thinking, and I am at a place where I'm like, It's quiet in there today. That's nice. Yes, nice. And so I'm hoping to, I'm hoping to really just figure out where I'm moving next. My business goals, I'm like, kind of putting on pause, but I kind
of like recalibrate. And I guess the biggest challenge that I'm having overall, is just kind of like time management, I realized that I can't figure out how to like, be on time for things and make places on time. And it's, it's really like, the last obstacle was kind of like getting in a pattern and system organizing myself, my mind, my environment, so that I can be punctual. And I'm starting a new job. In a couple of weeks,
I want to I want to be punctual.
Do I want to be punctual?
Yeah. Like, oh, no, like, for example, like this call, right? Like, when I like a you were on time for this call. And so as I why I love this
shit. I love the ship. Right? So whenever someone starts talking to me about time management, I immediately start thinking about boundaries, and then also merely start thinking about like, like, like, what are the actual priorities, and you kind of lead the conversation talking about how you're sort of wanting for less, which could mean that you just have changed in a what you want. But also, like, maybe you don't want the same things and want to be doing certain things
like I realized. Like maybe 2017, or something like that. Like I was always late for like marketing meetings. And eventually I was like, I just don't want to write this copy. But that's what it was about, you know, and then I didn't learn didn't actually realize I want to write with somebody, not just like be sent off by myself. But there was it was a process to go through. So your priorities are shifting. So let's just talk about like, do a
gut check real quick. Are you late to the things that you care about?
Not not too much.
Not too much. Okay. So what are you late to school? Yes,
yes. That's well. Things. Like, like work.
But things that you don't value? Yeah, I
guess. I mean, I value work. No, no, no, I prefer not to work. But um, okay. Well,
I'll say that again.
I prefer not to work. That's right.
So I think that's probably more the driving impulse.
Yeah, and fortunately, I'm changing my job. So I'm hoping that that's a good chance. I'm gonna be I'm a special education teacher and I've been teaching high school, but I'm also an early childhood educator. So I'm transitioning to a preschool class. And I'm, like, excited for it. I don't I'm a little uncertain, but I hope I'm one time but yeah, it's a lot of the things I'm don't like, I don't want to do but,
okay, here's the thing. I think that there may be value in doing the things you don't want to do. I think it's control what what we hear a lot, it's kind of like, do what you want to do only do what you want to do. But I found that part of what I'm learning is that, um, when I like, kind of like exercise, or like, certain things like that, like, it doesn't necessarily feel good, but there's like a benefit to it. Like, there's pain and pain and some things,
but like, they help you grow. So I don't know, but I guess I say that to say, I just, yeah, I'm very content. And very, like, I been oscillating between kind of like, feeling connected or, you know, feeling like this big oneness of us, you know, just people in general. And I think that's cool. I'm an okay place. But I just thought I'd jump on and
appreciate that, you know, I just can't help but think that, you know, when you said, I hope I'm on time to my new job. Okay. That's like, oh, no, I hope that I don't get hit by a bus on the way to work today. I don't know. It just wasn't like, there wasn't like a lot of like, your state was pretty non eventful, to say the least. And I'm just wondering, like, there's nothing you have to do differently. I'm just wondering, like you said, you
don't really want to work. And I wonder what that's about.
So I'm a teacher. So I had the whole I had the summer off, but I decided to work this summer, trying to pay off my credit card debt and make income for my family. So so I decided to work and I was doing work that I wanted to do that I thought I was going to transition away from teaching to do, but then I had to get back into teaching because I needed like a very consistent stable income because what I was was doing was paying a lot but part time and kind of like contractual teach. So
did you know that I'm a teacher?
of people? Yeah. Yeah,
you'll think I've ever taught anything to you. You want to know the difference? It's actually not about you or me. The difference is the system. Okay. Right. The problem with the education system today is it doesn't reward teachers for doing a good job in any way that's really that meaningful, it just rewards the same people the same. And tenure is like one of the worst things ever, because it's like they can perform or not perform, and
they're guaranteed, right? So it's like, teachers can make lots of money today, you know, like, Deepak Chopra is a teacher. Michael Beckwith is a teacher at Lisa Nichols as a teacher, like,
by the teacher. By the way, I heard you on the hero, the hero this week, I was listening to you were in there. I was like, Oh, really? Yeah,
I was tripping. Tripping, I always I forgot about that. Thank you. But like, like, so like teachers can make lots of money. It's just a system that you chose to be a part of doesn't like the specific system that you're in doesn't really reward you financially for it.
Unfortunately, and like the system's not broken, it's designed to do what's supposed to do I think when I'm kind of feeling and again, you go to a surgeon, they're gonna want to cut you go to a dentist, they're gonna want to give you teeth whitening. Go to coach they're gonna think certain things like I think maybe you want to make more money doing something else that's more fulfilling that may
not be this thing. And this is kind of your body being like Feigin, I guess I'll be on time is when you get a taste of something better. It's the worst. But it's also the best like I remember like, I remember the first time I ever flew business class intern. National. I'm talking like almost six, five, I get this lay flat overnight. Right? And I was like I am because I can't not do this from now on, like, I can't go back. And I was like, and there's like, it's not like
that. It's like super expensive, especially when I was getting started to be like, Ah, how much to go to where? Right? Like, I raise my game but it's like when you get like a little bit of a taste of something like a little bit better. It's like the worst sometimes, but it's also the best. I can't not lay flat right. So it's like, I might be late if I was gonna get on Spirit Airlines to you know why do they call it Spirit Airlines? Because that's how you arrive at
your destination. I was kidding. Just kidding. I almost got tickets on Spirit Airlines once because I was like Spirit Airlines it's like spiritual or something. And then I like I looked up like that. I looked up if you ever want to see like, like, funny review this like look up the reviews of like, the stories that people tell us about that the airline is insane. Right. But when you like get like the VIP the you know, delta or fight private jet experience. It's just a
different experience. Right? And like you're I think you're tasting more is what I think. Well, that's a good exhale. What's
that? Yeah, I think that is I think that has truth in it. I think I definitely see potential. I think I definitely in my contentment, hoping my contentment is contentment, just I really do feel like it's just like a sense of emotional well being. But, you know, it's also like, you know, it okay. I had to make the decision to put off my dreams of the big dream in order to provide for my family.
That's true. That's that's kind of what I was feeling. And there's a difference between contentment and kind of being resigned to like, this is what I have to do. What's that feeling right there? I'm not sure. I know you're not sure. But if you weren't sure, what would you say?
Well, it feels good. It feels I am crying. But it's, it's so hard. It's a hard pill to swallow.
Just yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So let's just like hold that like, Okay, we have this one experience where you're content, and you're doing what you need to do for your family. But then over here, there's this like collapse to different realities. And what you're mourning is the collapse of something that you want. And that's what I was feeling. Well, if there's a way to do both
what if there's a way to do both? There? What if, what if? What if it would require will require me to be very emotionally regulated? Why I say that? That's the first thing that comes to my mind why I say that is because oftentimes, when I get an idea, I'm a big ideas person. I get really excited. And when I'm excited, I can't focus when I can't focus. I can't be on time. I can't do the dishes. I can't
Wow, we're talking. There's all this boring shit you don't want to do. Do you want to do all this exciting stuff? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Somebody was calling me back they think oh sorry. Mastin I have my daughter on Coco melon at the moment.
Zero politics. So I think it's important to be honest with yourself about that. Because when you're like, people like people never are late to things they want to be at.
People I never let me
just say never but very rarely relate to the things where you really can't wait to be at Yeah. You only mean Yeah, right like this. Like I don't really have attention problems. I'm doing things I love doing.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Or just enjoyable things like you put like an accounting spreadsheet in front of me. I have attention deficit disorder. You put Breaking Bad on, I'm focused. I can track every detail. Yeah, that makes sense. Right. You put me on a stage. I will talk until my mouth doesn't work anymore. I'll just keep going. Right? Yeah. So I what I'm saying is, is I think there's probably a way to do both where the thing, right, like, it's like, this is differentiation in practice,
right? It's like, it's like, we want to hold that like, okay. Like, it's not one or the other. It's both. And is there a way for the other one to exist? Not without collapsing, but just small in smaller increments? We can build it over time. So it's not as complete zero?
Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I really do think so. But I think what I was I think, yeah, I think so. Like I said, I just have to, like, stay focused on like, the thing that's bringing me the money at the moment well,
or just have some structure, like, I have, like, alarms that go off all the time on my phone. I wake up, and I have my day, and I look at like what has to happen today. And I have like, I have like before this call, I have a 15 minute timer, a 10 minute timer, and a five minute timer and a one minute timer. You wonder why I used to just have a 15 minute timer, and that is more than enough time to get distracted. So as 10 minutes, I was like no way. One time it happened. Five
minutes. I was like, You know what, five minutes? No way, you're gonna get distracted in five minutes happened once. Snap one minute and 60 seconds is definitely enough. And then usually I'd be here early and show a lot of stuff. But like I said, I have stuff that goes either at one for seven o'clock tonight to remind me to book a reservation for me and a friend. Right, and I guarantee you when that timer goes off, I'll be like, oh, yeah, pass Masson thank you for reminding me.
Because I will have forgotten by them. Because my working memory is shit. Right. So that's what like timers structure that's episode helps bring is like, Okay, time to stop.
Yeah, yeah, actually, I actually think that's like, right on. I think that word structure is one that my mom, as a single mom didn't really provide for me doesn't have much in her life, even at the moment. And my husband has a lot of it. I guess I found what I needed. And resent in some ways, but making peace with but um, but I think that's I think that's about right. I think that's about right, just building in that structure. Almost. Almost like repetition. Almost like repetition to what, like
repetition of routines. I think it might be helpful for me. Yeah.
I have like, right when I wake up, it's like a big like, like post it note. Basically, it's like huge, and it has like six or seven things on it. Like okay, like, get moving. This isn't my step ship that had today right? Express yourself. Remember the call your parts to self energy, remember that you're connected everything like it was like this, like six or seven things and look at it. I'm like, Great PSU name is
Mastin. Like, literally just helps me just like, because I would wake up kind of confused for so long. It's like, okay, focused here. Got it. Thanks. Right, that's a little add hack. Because working memory is hard.
Yeah,
I wake up, but I literally if it was, there was nothing if I didn't have a phone. If I didn't have like, shit on my walls or the internet. And I woke up I would not know what was going on or what to do. Zero. I would just be like I probably wouldn't what data's I had to check all the time, what data's
and that's what and that's what, and that's what I want to do. So when I say I don't want to work, right, so I worked all the way until July the last week. I just didn't have work. And so I would wake up, fall back to sleep, wake up, do some stuff, fall back to sleep, wake up, do some stuff.
And it was actually like Um, it was actually like, like, I just hope I don't mourn it too much when I go back to work, but the idea of like being in a natural flow without the need of alarms without the need of this stuff, it's kind of like, following the natural pattern of one's body versus following the pattern
that's earned. That's what I'm saying is like, whatever is gonna give you that financial freedom, can you leave room for it? Even a little bit, so it's not completely disappeared so that you can get yourself include yourself in that process. You know, I wake up, I wake up at like two o'clock, right? It's like, 329, I wake up. And there's a bunch of reasons. One of the reasons is because other people are not bothering me. And like that, those first few hours of like, nobody bothering me, it's the
best. I go to bed at three o'clock in the afternoon, too. So I'm past my bedtime right now. But but the the idea is that, like, you can find the time. It's there. It requires boundaries and structure. And it sounds like your husband has some of that. Yeah. Right. And so it's like bringing that into it and recruiting him right. Hey, could you help me with this stuff by that I hate obstruction?
Oh, yeah. And I also tried the listening hack advice that she gave me. And I literally used it this week. I tried to use it before, but I realized is it works best when it just like worked really well, this week. It was a moment where I was like, You're not listening to me. And I was like, Okay, let me do the do the thing where I say what he's saying.
What I heard you say was all the things that you just said to me back to you.
Work and I think, you know, I think like I just like, I kind of stuck on like a kind of need to kind of like be I don't know if the word is ventral, but kind of like emotional, emotionally regulated, or neutral isn't quite the word. But it's kind of
let me let me help you know. You are either intentionally or probably unconsciously missing what I'm saying? Of course I am. Okay, what I'm saying is, there's this thing that you gave up. That I'm saying you do not have to give it up, you want to create structure in your day, she's crossing her arms now. cross those arms. Across the more Oh, my face. Just got a cold, okay? What I'm saying is, is you can still have what you want, if you
make structured room for it. And to recruit your husband to help you find that structure to include that part of you. So you're not just collapsing, and doing a career that you don't really love. That's what I'm suggesting is to bring in more structure. See the problem with having a mother like yours, and in a way similar to mine, because my parents literally my, my parents mantra to me, he'll figure it out. He's smart kid, one year old, two year old,
he'll figure it out. I was like, literally, all around here, like what is all these things? Right? That's why I wake up like that today. Part of me still does. Right? And it's like, that's neglect. And I had no structure like zero, no structure. Zero. They were just like, he'll figure it out. Right? And on some level, I figured it out. But you know, whatever. But I think it's important for you to think about including your husband, and being vulnerable. It helps you get some structure
to get your dream going. So that you don't believe it behind because you don't need to leave it behind. That's not a necessary thing for you to do.
Yeah, so like, are you saying like, I don't have to put my dream aside just
doing the listening thing to me back to me right now. I'm practicing sneaky sneakers. Good job on that one. You just got the cop face right now by the way that was awesome.
Yeah, I mean, I can I can still have my dreams as long as I set myself up the structures and enlisting my husband and supporting me in that and also, you know, keeping the dream alive and working, getting into everything. Looking at everything with that structure.
So so first of all, how Yes. And second of all, did you say that to me, for me or for you? That's for me. Okay, good. So what you're not doing, I just want to check. You're not just saying that back to me. So that I think you got it.
No, I needed to hear it. Okay, good. That's good. Okay, cool.
That was important for me to check on. Yeah, structure, it's the thing about structure is that like, it's so full, it's so liberating. People feel like it's not, but it actually is so liberating. And they don't realize how liberating it is, it's kind of like, it's almost like when you have like a romantic partner, right? It's like, especially for guys, like guys are kind of bummed because they're like, man, like, you know, now I can't be with all these other women or
whatever, right? And they think they lost the freedom. But actually, what they don't realize is they gained the freedom because of the worry about that shame, or there's a different type of freedom of not needing that pursuit anymore. Right. There's a freedom in the structure. Also. They can be creative. That's not defiant. That's not based in trauma that's not based in rebellion, right. It's based in what's best
for you. And I have a feeling like, most guys, I know, like are stoked to be able to help their woman solve a problem he probably be like, you want. I'm sorry. Do you see what's wrong? Boxer? He's there's gonna be like, All right. Where's the camera being punked right now?
It's already taken 11 a year.
Hey, better than 80?
Yeah.
So people never get there. Yeah, just so you're doing great. Thank you, man. All right. Don't forget to include yourself. Okay. Yeah. Let's hear for y'all so good. So good.