Let's do a pop quiz. What is the number 1 book on trauma called? The what? The body keeps the score, not the spirit keeps the score, the brain keeps the score, The body keeps the score. And so the term mental health leaves out the most important piece. Right? And just think of this for a second. The brain is, of course, so important, but I'm gonna ask you a question. Okay? And I'm gonna this is a facetious question. If we're just meeting, you might be like, is this guy for real?
I'm for real. I'm just playing with you, though, for a second. Okay? Imagine. What's bigger, your body or your head? Just play with me for a second. I know the answer's obvious. Well, it depends. How big is your ego? I'm just kidding. Right? But, yes, of course, the body is bigger, but we tend to ignore it in the old models. Right? The other problem is in the trauma world, we overemphasize the body and we just throw the brain out. It's almost like we just stop at
the brainstem, And there's no cognitive reappraisal. A lot of mindset coaches will say, you're just so body focused that you're just not even you're just like, where is your you have to be able to change your thoughts at some point. We wanna be able to bring them both together. And so we want you to understand that everything your system is doing, I don't care what your diagnosis is. I want you to could take on the idea that your system has having a response to something in your history or in
the present? It's not a disorder. So instead of PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder, Consider what would it feel like to call it post traumatic stress response. Instead of ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, What do you feel to call attention deficit hyperactivity response? Bipolar disorder bipolar response. Obsessive compulsive disorder Obsessive compulsive response. Right? And we have to start to understand that those responses are a protective response based on your
history of what was to keep you safe? So they're a protective response to keep you safe. So if these responses are here to keep me safe, why would it make them wrong? Does Does that make who follows? Does it make sense? Right? Why would I make my responses wrong? And that's what we do is we make them wrong, and we say change your thoughts, change your life, and we just completely dismiss What our body is trying to do to keep us safe based on what we've been through. Who here feels that that's
a bad idea? What do you think? Now let me ask you a similar question. Who here feels like it's a bad idea to only Allow yourself to be someone within the range of responses based on your history. That's also not a good idea because then Your future will just be like your past. Right? So we wanna have a balance between these two things, and nervous system inflexibility limits your options and repeats the past when you're inflexible? Okay. Nervous system flexibility gives
you more options. So if you want To make more money or have more love or reach the next level in your business, we have to create nervous system flexibility so that you have more options? Right? Because you can be, do, or have anything once your nervous system feels safe enough. And what you, when you think about it, what are your unrealized hopes and dreams and projects and goals and aspirations and intention? So let's think about that for a second. You've probably been
reflective recently. Pop it in the chat. What are some of your unrealized hopes and dreams and projects And goals and aspirations and intentions. It could be maybe you wanna lose a certain amount of weight. Maybe you wanna make a certain amount of money. Maybe you want a certain type of relationship. Maybe it's something, in a business context. Right? But what is that? Improve physical and emotional health. Let's get more specific. Retreat center for entrepreneurs in Malibu. Love that.
That's specific. Retire and start my own coaching business. Love that. That's specific. So, if you were going to improve physical or emotional health, what would that give you? Lose 65 pound, travel to Egypt, start my own coaching business. Love that. So think about that for a second. Okay? So think about your unrealized hopes and dreams or what's on your vision board if you do that? Right? If you've been doing visioning, what's up your vision board or what's in your journal? Right?
Finish grad school? Another question or another way to think of it is, what are you 99.99% ready to do but haven't done? You know, just like getting ready to get ready to get ready to get ready to get ready. Right? Think about those things. Okay? Consider for just a second. Well, before I say this, what does it feel like to have those things become, named And to notice that they're unrealized, what does that feel like for a second?
Frustrating. Start my business back up and make money. How much money, Brenda? Intimate partnership and fulfilling career? Okay. Like I so for it can feel frustrating like I failed. Okay. Great. So Check this out for a second. Hopeless failure. Okay. Check this out. Try this on for a second. Try this on for a second. Okay? What would it feel like? Shamed. Exactly. Okay. That's pretty normal. Okay? What would it feel like for a second to say, you know what? I don't have those things yet because
I haven't known how to feel safe enough to have them just yet. What would that feel like to say to yourself? You know what? I don't have those things just yet Because I haven't known what it's like to feel safe enough to have those things just yet. What does that feel like to say something like that to consider that idea? Validating hope. So just notice just noticing yeah. It makes me wanna cry. Still frustrating,
but safer. Love that. Possibility. So it's important to understand that, like, everything you've done up until now Has been within the scope of what feels safe to your nervous system. And what you haven't done yet, you haven't felt safe yet. Okay? And, also, it's important to understand, try this on for a size. Okay. I don't have those things yet because I might be missing a skill set on how to get them. Like, maybe I don't know how to do Healthy relationship.
Maybe I don't know how to do a 6 or 7 figure business just yet. Maybe I don't know how to have a flexible nervous them? What would it feel like to say to yourself, you know what? I don't have those things yet because maybe I haven't felt safe enough to have them, and Maybe I don't quite have a skill set just yet. What does that feel like to say those things? It's just a missing skill set And just I need to feel safe enough. That's really it. What would that feel
like to say to yourself? Feels better? Possibility. And it's way better than, like, I can't because of my whatever the label is. Does that make sense? Right? So it's important to understand that starting to live your purpose It's all about beginning to create more nervous system flexibility. That's the most important piece to understand. It's all about creating nervous system flexibility. So the question is, What have you been dreaming about, but haven't
manifested yet? Think about that for a second. Right? What have you been dreaming about, but haven't manifested It could be a relationship. It could be financial. It could be something in a business. It could be a health goal. Okay? The question I want you to be really honest with yourself on this is this one. Okay? How long have you been stuck in high level coping around that next level? Has it been a week, a day, a month, a year, a decade, many years, 2 years, all my life? And what does it
feel like to think that, you know what? I just need to shift the pattern or two and create more safety and step out of high level coping. What does that feel like in terms of a thought or idea for you? Feeling ready? Love that. Love that. So when it comes to the next level, how is not a feeling, but you might be feeling curious. We'll get to how. Right now we're talking about feelings. Okay. Just for a second. All you achievers wanna get to the how. I
feel you. I feel you with the how. Okay. Here's the 1st step in the how. Let's drop into some emotion for just a second. Okay? Some real emotion. Right? So when it comes to the next level of your life, okay, If you had a honest assessment, how flexible or inflexible is your nervous system at reaching the next level of your life? Would you say it's more flexible or more inflexible? If you've been stuck for 12 years, Might be
time to take a honest assessment. So more flexible, but maybe it could be a little bit more flexible. Okay. So how safe do you feel to Expand into your dreams and purpose. Think about that for a second. When you think about, I don't know, maybe you want a relationship and actually being vulnerable with somebody, what does that feel like? Right? Or maybe you wanna have a 7 figure coaching business, and it's time to be seen more, right, online. Maybe you have a health goal,
but you gotta prioritize yourself as that boundaries, perhaps. Right? What does that feel like? Does it really feel safe? Does it feel do you feel safe enough? That's really the question. Right?