Okay. Cool. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. So we shall go on. We'll go over to Hey. How's it going? Good. Good. Good to see you. Good to see you too. Alright. So what is your outcome? My outcome, I feel, is forgiveness, and it's self forgiveness. And I'm frustrated because I'm doing all this work, but I still feel really Stuck in letting go of pain that I feel I've caused other people in my life. Sure. So what would have to happen for you to forgive yourself? That's where I seem to be stuck.
I can give you the answer. Please do. You have to give up your pride. That's a big one. What if not ever even thought of that? People who don't forgive think that pride is more valuable than forgiveness, and it makes sense because when we don't forgive, we think use usually, there's 2 reasons why people don't forgive. Usually, they think if I forgive someone, then I justify what what they've done to me. Like, it's like I'm allowed I'm I'm I'm saying that's okay.
Or the other fear is not just am I justifying what the other person's done to me? But god will send me something worse, and more pain will come. So I like the devil that I know versus the devil I don't know. And that's all about pride. Because there's a level of pride that says I mean, what is pride? Right? Pride is not just necessarily just, like, pride in winning a gold medal for your country. That's not that's like a that's a higher calling of pride. This is
like, I have to be right, or I will die. Send For me from email, it makes sense. Yeah. It makes sense for me, though. I feel like I'm I find it easier to forgive Others. Like, I I'm able to do that. I'm able to forgive others, but it's myself That I'm stuck on. Right. Well, then if you can't forgive yourself, you haven't forgiven others. Okay. Wow. It's like that that's Oops. Sorry. The dog agrees, by the way.
That's that that just really surprises me because I really feel like I've I've done that work, and And I got to that place, but obviously That's like saying that's like saying, I worked out for 2 weeks, and I got some exercise in, and, I haven't lost all the weight. You know what I mean? Like Yeah. Like, is there there's this idea that, like, I did it. It's like, no. This is your work. It's something that you live with. It's like a
it's a trauma. A trauma is like a a wound that you live with, and it gets better and better and better, and ultimately, it becomes a teach her. Ultimately, it's like a pearl. Like, a pearl starts out as a, as a wound to the oyster. Mhmm. And it becomes something
beautiful over time. Right? So, like, this is a wound that can turn to, like, a pearl within you, but you have to be willing to give up the pride that says, I have to be right here, which is and what what you wanna be right about, like the pattern wants to be right about is how shitty of a person you are. So if you're willing to give up the idea that you're a bad person and that you actually are a good person, then we can start to address the guilt
and the shame is underlying that. And no amount of watching videos is gonna help you do that if you won't admit to yourself you actually are a good person, and you did the best you could from your perspective, and so did they. And ultimately, what you're really resisting is the sadness associate it with the guilt of what you think you did. Did we lose you? No. No. You just hit it. What is so fucked up that you did so bad? Oh, there's a few things. Nothing is unforgivable.
I I believe that, but I just With all the work that I've done, it just seems like I keep coming back to, Almost hurting myself By not moving forward, and I feel it's because I like you said, I, Maybe I'm not convinced that I'm a good person. That's where guilt comes from. Guilt guilt is I did something wrong. Yeah. I'm guilty. And then shame is, because I did something wrong, I'm a bad person. Uh-huh. When you look at, like, the emotional scale, Shame is like the 2nd
to, like, the bottom. It's like a bottom feeding emotion. It really has no purpose other than to create such a juxtaposition of position of what you don't want, that eventually becomes a catalyst for you to break through. That's really the only purpose of shame. Other than that, it doesn't really have a purpose. It's like a bacteria. Right? Like, it it's it doesn't have a purpose, really, other than to make you so uncomfortable that you move. Does that make sense? Yeah.
And that's I mean, I feel like I'm So you actually actually like where you are. Otherwise, you wouldn't be there. And that is why you're there Yeah. Which is normal. Right? Yeah. So, you have to ask yourself the question, am I willing to admit that I could be a good person? And if that's the case, can I if I can't forgive myself, would I at least be willing to speak in the direction of forgiveness towards myself? Be willing, because willingness, way more powerful. And I've you know, in
my mirror work, I've done that. I I do that. That that's where I end up. And I and I'm telling myself that, you know, I'm a good person. I have a good heart. My intentions are good. Believe you're a good person and tell yourself you're a good person, and you go bullshit. I'm not talking about what you say to yourself to to to, soothe yourself temporarily. I'm talking about on a on a on a belief level. Be willing to believe that you could be a good person at a deeper level than what you
say to yourself in the mirror. Yeah. That's Because, like, mirror work without changing the belief is like, I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I'm kind of just bullshit. No. You're fucking done. And that's yeah. That's where I'm stuck. The real the real question is why do I not leave Love Myself. And the answer is because I think I'm a bad person, which is probably some version of childhood criticism coming back to frame your lend for your life. Yeah. That that that
that's totally true. So do you wanna be victimized by your criticism, or do you wanna grow from it? I wanna grow. Cool. So if you wanna grow and you really wanna grow Right. Is that true? Yes. It is true. I wanna grow. Can you be willing to admit that you could be a good person. Yes. And could you be willing then to also feel the sadness associate with the guilt of thinking, miss, sort of misthinking that you're a bad person, because that's the work. You have to
have an emotional experience. You can't think yourself out of it. I feel like I've been having a lot of emotional experiences around it. So My question, though. Would you be willing to feel the sadness associated with the guilt of misbelieving that you're a bad person? Yes. Get ready, girl. Oh, boy. What's the worst that will happen? What's the worst? The worst. The worst that would happen. I
if I allow it, I I don't know that there would be a worst. I know that you don't know, but the pattern says if I feel my feelings, something will happen. Yeah. I'll die. Some version of that. I'll finally live Live a big life. Well, yes. That's what that's that's the same part of you that says, I love myself. And the pattern's like, fuck you. No. You don't. I'm asking the pattern of the question, which is what's the worst that will happen if you feel your feelings? It's unconscious.
There's no goddamn sense. A a a breakdown of emotion. And I'm assuming based on that patterning, that the pattern believes that if I'm emotional, I will be criticized. Uh-huh. Yeah. That's that's absolutely true. But what if I can be emotional and safe? That would be wonderful. Yeah. So now we know why you feel this way. Because you think it's unsafe to feel your emotions, which is kind of like saying, I don't really think it's safe to breathe, so I'm just
gonna hold my breath until I pass out. And I wonder why I pass out all the fucking time. Yeah. So where could you go for emotional sustenance and emotional nurturing to to share some feelings that might be judged? I have a few people. Unfortunately, not my family. Few hundred people? A few 100 people? I think so. Oh, yes. That's Oh. I'm so sorry. Oh, okay. The answer is right in front of you. Yes. I know. They've been wonderful. I just find it hard to it's hard. Open up. It's
hard. It's going to be hard. But you know what's harder? Not opening up. Absolutely. Right? So Yeah. Let's celebrate this emotional threshold that you've hit where you're sick and fucking tired. Yeah. And know that it's safe to share. And what I'd encourage you to do is hop on to the Facebook group and say, hey. Here's my outcome. I'm in the process of forgiving myself. So to do that, I wanna share some of the sadness and the shame, not so that we can make it bigger, but because it's like
I need to share this Let it go. That make sense? Yes. Absolutely. Then watch. Watch. You will absolutely be safe, and that is the process. So the emotional honesty is how you heal. Yeah. And all the work that we do in this program is designed to kinda squeeze you to get you to this place. Yes. I've I've I've felt the squeeze, man. I've felt the squeeze. Good. Awesome. So can I get a fist bump? Yes. Awesome. That's awesome work, and I'm proud of you. I hope so. Just know that you're in a safe
place. And you know what? Last thing I'll say, you said it's not my family. You have I'm not even sure how many people in your family. Let's just say it's a large family of 12 people. They're like you, close circle. Okay? You have 100 Yeah. Who are here that wanna support you. Go to where the love is. I will. Alright? I will. Thank you so much. You. Awesome. You're welcome.