Hey, everyone, welcome back to the Mason Cox Show. Now today we have an amazing guest. He's got a plenty of backdrop. He's gonna design and art at the Gordon Institute of TAFE. That is probably not what he's known for, but i'll start that off the top. And two and five two thousand and five, he was searched for Funny Bone winner two thousand and seven Melbourne International International Comedy Festival Best Newcomer, Appear on Row, which I feel like
everyone does nowadays. He does the project, he's in TV radio comedy and you probably recognize his voice as the HbF Quaker. At the moment, he is the great man, Dave Thornton. I want to say it massive, thank you for coming on mate, nice, It's good to be here.
And I just realized the dog's breakfast of a career that I have lined up this whole way through, even as he went then on. Yeah, I did all of those things and somehow I feel really disappointed. I'd like to give.
People a bit of an idea of something you've done different. Yeah, thanks, you know there's everyone knows you're the comedic genius. Everyone knows you love your stand up and you're great impersonations and everything else. But I like to really like people now and give people a bit of an idea with the design. And I at the Gordon Institute of Taife.
I know, mate, well for people that listen overseas, because no doubt you've got an American listenership. Taife is like Harvard, so it's not easy to get into. That was four hundred dollars for a diploma, I think a certificate four an arts design. Because he's been four one hundred dollars. How long did it take you to finish? Two years? Two years? Four hundred dollars for two years of education? But there was a little come up and because a
degree takes three years. And I remember I got my job as a graphic designer, and then I had an underling who started tertiary education at the same time I did, but took three years, and so I was their senior after finishing two years up to two years. Like, suck it, suck it, bro, and you've still going to pay your hex back what I lose.
Idiot, I like, pay four hundred dollars for this. Yeah, we'll jump right into it now. I want to talk to you about a lot of different stuff. Obviously comedy is going to be a big part of this, but I want to talk to you about travel. You're a man that shoveled the world, and I love a bit of travel. I know you've done a little bit of a You're a Mission.
Was what was called I Believe the Little You Had. That was the first solo show that I ever had Mason stand up comedy, firstival show in two thousand and seven, and I mean, yes, I'm a citizen of the world, if you must call it that. Years I still obviously haven't learnt a lot because I still jumped into the
back of a stranger van to this podcast. Love that. Yeah, I feel like as we're filming this right now, this footage could be on the news right our last scene jumping into a white van because I don't know your listeners know this is all recorded from a van. And he's incredibly convenient. You've turned up, You've possibly got a parking fine, but you've turned up here and and yeah, I love this setup. This is amazing. I did see You've got Eddie Maguire on. Yeah, Edi didn't want to
get in the bus. Though he didn't want to, he put us to the MCGS box.
It was a bit of a yeah, it's a bit of a King Deck kind of thing. Is like, mate, I've got something better. I putted your box at the MCG overooking the massive ground that is. Yeah, yeah, it was pretty cool experience. I'm gonna lie, so did you parallel park at the G?
Is that what happened? Gave us private parking underneath? I'm not gonna lie. City. Yes, it's got a few few little friends there. I think in this world it's good to know you got these media titans on. It's any group at Murdoch, Dave Thornton, they're the big three.
What else do you need to have? But we'll get into trouble man. So you've been to Europe, I'm assuming is kind of one of the places. I feel like a lot of Australians love to go to Europe. It's Europe or America, the two furthest places probably possible. Now you've been to Europe and you say you've you've gone with a bunch of mates. This is pre marriage, pre kids and everything else.
It really was.
I'm sure it was, mate, I've done it yet I still have not married or have kids or anything. But some of the best stories come out of travel, and I feel like you really find yourself in travel.
Mate. I want to ask you, what is some of your favorite moments?
Give me maybe like one of the favorite places you've been to, one of the favorite things you've done.
Oh, good question. Admittedly I didn't get drafted into a foreign sport league like you seem to have worked out. You know, I was explaining your story before I bore you with all my travel stories. I was explaining to my partner and she said, who's coming around to park out the front and inside the house I need to clean up, And I said, I'm Mason Cox. And then I explained your story, and no doubt people who listen to this know your whole story of you know, you
played four years at Oklahoma State ohmall State. Yeah, that's it, Oh, because you were teammates with what's there for the Boston Marcus smartt Marcus, Matt Macish, Matt and then and then you come over here, he said, You get drafted, you get poached, you're playing a foreign sport, but you just work hard to get here. And it's amazing that that, in taking advantage of situations is a talent in itself. You know, you say like, okay, there's an opening, now
I'm going to go for it. And you've worked extremely hard to get in your position. But you are like the thinking man's forest gump, like everything's happened to you. You just landed in the middle of it all. I mean, like, yes, Sick Collingwood, Okay, this works, it's wrong with it. Keep running, keep running, just keep running that. It is not me imposing on you that you've got you know, your slow off the mark. I'm just saying that I'm very slow
from that. We've hung out a bit, but I'm saying, you know, it's so cool that all these experiences have happened to you and you were like, okay, let's just keep going with this.
Yeah, I think it's great. Says what was your wife's oppression? She was like, what what the F do you mean? He's just moved over to Australia to play a sport he's never heard of, in a place he's never been.
I'm not going to lie. It's a very hard elevator pitch. It's hard to get a little story into two sentences. Yeah, like Nason Cox, he plays for colling when she's, Oh, that's amazing that he's an American. What what? So he just liked a felt he didn't know what it was, and then he comes across here and she was as bewildered as you would expect that situation to be.
Yeah, I'm still trying to find a great way to describe it. I still don't know, even to Americans, like, oh, what do you do? I'm like, I played soccer and rugby and basketball and into one sport and then there's no pads and you can essentially just do it the hell you want.
That's what I do. I don't know, but yeah, and you're the rarest Pokemon. You know that, don't you?
What is the rarest Pokemon of Pokemon or something like that, Like that's really bringing the back mewtwo.
Yeah, you're like a sixteen American who plays AFL. That's not it doesn't really make There's not any other people sitting in that Ben diagram.
I'm not here to brag, but I did make the AA team this year, the All American Team. I was the best player, I was coach, I was full back. Even really couldn't believe that.
It is incredible.
It's pretty amazing even head coach every year eight years running AA team.
I understand every rue's at Grand Casino there for the Brownlow Metal count.
I'm sitting at the craps table. You don't really make much of the AAA team, but you have a damn good night. I'll tell you that on your mate.
Well, we'll go back to the travel.
We've kind of got off Tracky, I love it, but what is one of your best what's your favorite place you've ever been to in the world.
We'll start with that. See, that's hard to pick because, yeah, I went to Europe. Well, see, my father was English my mother's so I wanted to see obviously where they came from. And then and because I had I've got an English passport. So that's what broughbably to Europe initially. But since I've been pretty lucky with stand up and just with backpacking. I've been South America, Sri Lanka, I've
been South Africa, Europe obviously, America, Canada. So I mean each has their own little I know, I'm acting like I'm being diplomatic right now, but there is there's always something cool about a place when you go to visit it. Yeah, and I mean one thing that was amazing. I remember going to South America and I did the Patagonia Trail. Well, are you serious? Yeah? Did you really do the Partigona Trail? Yeah?
It was.
It was incredible. I'm assuming named after all the cool jumpers that all the.
Hits an the jumpers came first and then the Mountain Range is essentially what happened.
Did you do the W track? I did the W Trap? Are you serious? I've never met anyone else that's on the W track. You've done it? I did it? Yeah, I did it like five years ago. How funny is because lamas are going everyone else? Did you see any because there's pumas out there?
Yeah, we saw condor whenever it's condors, like the biggest bird in the world. I think wingspan wise just let everyone out there. But we're really on Puma watch. Didn't see you Puma's that?
No? I did see a puma? Did you? How do you say it again? Can you say what said? Puma? Puma? Puma? Puma sounds like puma. There's like an h in there or something. To be honest, if you've got a concussion test. I never asked him to say puma because you'll get dragged off for two off. You did the well. I stayed in the because there's hats all you can bring a tent to.
Oh you did the classy thing. Yeah, man, what did you bring a tent? We had a four person t there's three of us over six foot four that My feet were hanging out. The first night, it snowed about the whole foot and I walk up in the middle of night to wet feet opened up the like the zip just white Christmas everywhere. It was just it was the worst start to anything. Everything's drenched, Like, would you do that?
We didn't you. I'm not a person that organizes the I just go into it.
Literally, this is five years ago and it was literally the day right there's like during the off season around October and we had gone to this place and my friend's very organized. He was like, no, we need to do like figure out what day we need to do this. How long is it going to take to hike this, you know, if the train's tough for what we need to wear. I kind of rocked up and I was like, Nah, we'll just go We'll figure it out. I'll be five days in the wilderness. We'll be fine, and about the
first two hours I realized I was vastly wrong. I was extremely wrong. I would have died within a day.
Mason, you seem like such a lovely guy, but I would fucking hate you on that track because I realized I am that guy. If I'm left to my own devices, I would prefer someone else to organize it. But I am the organizer because I want to mitigate any risk, and you would be the mate that I'm like, no, you're not borrowing my socks. Your feet will freeze off and then you have to drag those stumps along the track and hopefully yeah, and you would get eaten by
a pooma. And it's I really liked it, But I was I said in my partner because we went pre kids. Mind you in saying that I was with your partner, I was on the fight. Yeah, and we're still together. Oh that's awesome. Going on the five day track, there was a person that had a toddler in those baby beyonds. Wow, was doing the five day track with a kids trap to them, and I'm like, dogess, that's that's a solid effort.
Well, it's for everyone out there. It's like ten to fifteen k's of walking every day and you're going like into a mountain range in the back some of the most beautiful stuff in the world. Like proper background of the desktop to describe this thing. But yeah, it is tough. It's not like casual stroll.
No, it's not. And I mean we went in their summer, which is the same as our summer, but it's just Southern Hemisphere summer. And I mean, yeah, when you go up to the top of the mountains, it's still zero degree celsia freezing. It's freezing, so it's not easy to track around there. And yeah, I thought five days with the kids rep t is a bit march for that child.
Hey, credit to the missus for going with you, though. That was like, that's a pretty tough, gruelling high mate.
It is niggas awesome. But she is way better equipped to do this stuff than I am. Outdoors she's the outdoorsy one. She's also like we did a ten to be honest, after I'm finding out how useless you are, I don't need her. If you're going to turn up to every barbecue be like I didn't bring anything, didn't organize anything. I'll be like, God, damn. It was defeated.
Frozen enough backing Patagon, I don't need this. But we did a ten k run at the end of last year and it was for the good people Beyond Blue do a little bit of work with them, and of course I needed the carrot. At the end of all the lockdowns that Melbourne had to go, I'll get myself
in shape ten k run. She barely trained. I did a bit of training at five k's my calf went and I just strolled off because everyone went, wasn't that the guy who was promoting this whole race and now he's just carcked it?
And I went, thanks for that, and he's get in a car and drive to the end and then walk across or something.
I just wanted to find a hole and fall into it then, so I walked to the finish line to think, oh, well, I'll be encouraging for Nicky whenever she cross is that. I'm looking at the finish line. I'm like, oh, yeah, well she should be over soon. And then she just strolls up next to me and I said, what are you doing? And she's like, oh, I finished. I finished a couple of minutes ago. I was like what did
you run? Ten k's in and she's like forty two minutes And I was like, mane, you're running four and a half minute case for twenty seconds and she said, oh, I did. I. So she's a beast casual, she's a beast. So that is I was the dead weight mate in Patagonia. I was the one that was like, just leave me here just so you can make it. You can make it. But that was incredible because that's also Patagonia is the
southernmost tip just about of South America. So as long as you think about with South America, it's not like you think, oh it's like Carnaval, No, No, this is this is like, you know, further down than Tasmania. This is close to Antarctica. So it's cold. But then there's glaciers everywhere, and there's glacier water. How clear the water wall, Well, you can drink it off the side of the mountain. I've never really done that one of those bottles.
You're just literally any water it's coming out on side of the mount you just can drink straight from it.
Yeah, Like there were streams and we would just jump in them. We were sullying that water. I'm hoping I didn't get some of the five days of grit, grime and smegmuth. That's what you want.
All the best parts of that is like at the very end, you catch the boat back across the lake, right, I want to say, if you've done the same thing. There's a little casual like store there right now. I don't know what you'll call them here. I think we call him stubby holders. I'm not sure what you're calm, Yeah, we calm koozies. Koozies is what you calm?
Yeah? Yeah.
And my brother who's been hiking for five days disgusting right, Like, we're sweated through everything. We're just absolutely drenched and sweat and he's like sitting there. We're like, oh, there's a Patagonian beer, and we bought three Patagonian beers and we got cheers beers to the Patagonian apps.
And then I'll come to the realization. We bring these beers out.
My brother whips out three koozies out of his back pocket and he goes.
I've been king these for five days waiting for this moment. He chucks him on.
There was skull a beer in the middle of the Patagonian apps. One of the best experiences I've ever done.
But that's great, But your beer hold of them was soaked in his ass cracks. But it's a glass glass protection. Well, that's a tank.
That point, we were happy to have anything. We're eating, like race and beans. I think for about five days straight.
So delusional, but I don't know what's happening.
Yeah, we made it onto the glacier. We have to put out a photo there to everyone to understand how beautiful it is. But it is one of the most amazing places in the world.
It really is. But I mean that's different travel. When I was traveling with Nikki because she's traveled a lot as well, so we were pretty good together traveling. There was only a few blowouts, which is to be expected when you've got six weeks away together, which is always something that threw me off as well when I bumped into Americans because we do the trek and it takes five days, but that was part of our six weeks over in South America, and I talked to Americans and
they're like, no, I got two weeks off. It took me four days to fly down here. I do the trek and then I head back to New York and live in my cramp department and work in a law firm for nothing, to hope that I'll get up an ocean one day. And I was like, this is the worst set. Like they it broke their minds that we were off for six weeks. They're like, what did you just quit your job? You're like, nahn, you just tell them I'll be back in a bit and then it'll
be fine. I was always heartbroken that the Americans only get two.
Weeks fall in two weeks when one brother and I we had to do it in four days. Usually it takes five days of track. We're doing fourcus my brother would go back to work.
It's just the way it is in the US. I don't have two weeks.
And then like, depending on how long you work, you can work there for longer and you can be you can get more or more time off if the longer you work for a company. But like everyone starts two weeks and that's just normalized. Like I'll tell people, I'm like, oh, yeah, I get like two months off a year, and they're like, mate, what is there any other like any other things I can do?
You're only working for half of the year now, so yeah, that's sitily.
Yeah, I mean we got off season. Don't get me wrong. We've got a few little little bie weeks here and there. But it's not a bad man. It's part of the whole.
I think.
I guess South for me to come over here is they have two weeks off of vacation to be able to travel anywhere in the world.
Yeah, I mean that's I think it's trains like to travel because most of us, other than the first trains, we're all immigrants, so you've got some lineage, your reason to go overseas and check stuff out and have a look at things. But when I was backpacking though through Europe, like, it's a different travel. You're twenty two years old, twenty three years I'm time to be summer in Europe, sure, but you're also skinned, so you just to grub because
you're just trying to save money every which way. And I remember a friend and I we hired a car in France, so we went all through the French south coast. So it's brilliant. It's summer, it's wonderful. But of course we're just sleeping wherever we can because hustles for ten dollars and yeah all that, but even then sometimes you're like, oh, I don't have the euros for this, so maybe I'll just sleep in a garter somewhere. And in Europe are always much more las a fair about that. They're like, oh,
someone's just sleeping in a guther, that's fine. And we remember we got into the coastal village and it was late at night and my mate says, let's just park in this car park and we'll just sleep in the car and be fine. I'm like, yeah, you're sick, so we put the seats back, and then it was real
early in the morning, as sun's just breaking. There's a French police officer knocking on our window and we're like, oh, bonois and that's about the extent of my French and he's screaming at us in French and we're like, I don't know what's going on. So we get out, but we're just in our underwear because we just you know, you get into your sleeping bag and you're out and he's screaming at us, and we're like, I don't know
what's going on. Mate, just at a car park, and of course you're laying the Australian accent on thick, so he might know English, but he does from here, getting from like the seagulls from finding Nemo. And then he's screaming at us, and I do remember someone else came across that was that knew a little bit of English and was trying to be the go between. But then we realized what happened was a car back, sure, but it was a car back to a kindergarten, so we're
next to preschool. And then two men who were sleeping in their car that was fogged up by this stage, so he didn't know what was happening inside. The jocks just get out in their underwear and they're like, what's going on And they're like, I know what's going on, your creeps. You need to be at least three hundred yards away from any children, so you can't go back to friends. Well, he was like, I think once we puzzled it together, he was just like just go like,
I'm not even anger, I'm just disappointed. What's wrong with you people? We say five euros? I mean, we're sex offenders on a French registerry, but still we save some money. It's grass, that's the fun. Of traveling.
Oh, it's just it's seriously sometimes every year because I won't remember. I was twenty three on saying I was broke, I had no money, and I was just I slept in train stations like everything.
The thing is no one bat's an eye.
Everyone's like, oh jeez, another nomad traveler just rolling around sleeping wherever he wants.
Piece of shit. You know. You know this is also a story because I bumped into some old friends. I was doing a gig in Sydney last week and some old friends came to the show. When we were we met overseas, so we were just talking about all this and we're all now in our forties, we've got kids. It was getting to ten o'clock. I'm like, we all got to go. We're going to get up early in the morning. And so we're channing all these old stories and this one, I mean, this proves how much of
a grubby when you travel. And I had a girlfriend and she was Norwegian, and so we met for a little bit, but then I went traveling and then she said, do you want to stay in Oslow? And I was like, for free, absolutely, And then you get their version of Jetstar Ryan airfly. Yes, Ryan, get on a few of those. You know what. Never lands on a normal airstrip. It lands at some ex military airstrip. It's in a different country to take a bus. Yeah, you're like here, but
I'm still trying to kill me away my destination. Can someone come pick me up? So she comes and picks me up. And all the Norwegian countries are really expensive, which I didn't realize. Yeah, when you're back back, the Scandinavians are very expensive countries totally because they've just got good infrastructure. Places eleven. Yeah, and everyone's hot. You're like, okay, I'll pay more for this, so true, like the men, the women, everyone's hot. I remember.
Still you feel like an idiot going there, mate, I know your bottom of the barrel.
Remember standing at train stations and I was waiting for it to come out of a train station and every person was tall and blonde and gorgeous, And I'm like, I'll take any I'll just eat he whatever. What do you think is a three to me? He's an eleven. I'll take that. I don't care. The only chance you got is the Aussie accident. You sliming that thing on. As far as you care, yeah, you go, I used to be a sex offender in front. And so so
we're there and I wasn't working, she's working. And it's one of those weird things where when you travel, when you meet people traveling, you don't have work and you don't ask what you do for a living. You just hell hanging out and it's blissful. But then sometimes when you come back to reality, you go, oh, is this working because you met that person when they were free and easy. You didn't meet them in their natural habits for day to day. Yeah. And so we get there
and I realized I'm staying at her parents house. She still lives with her parents because, like I said, we're only twenty three, twenty four whatever. She's just come back from travel. She needs to save money. So I'm like, oh, I'm staying with your whole family. Okay, but again I'm a backpack. I'm like, God, it is free. And then so I had nothing to do during the day. I'm just hanging out like a slob, eating their food because I was skint, and I can't believe I'm telling this story.
She's going to work. Whenever I'd meet her after work, we kind of hang out and then I remember one night she goes to par at the house with the whole family while she's at work, just being a parasite. They must have just thought I was a sponsor child to make a wish kid. Yeah, totally, yeah, this is my last wish to eat you out of house and home. And so I'm just I'm a six foot two locust. It's in their house. But then she came home from work early, so we're sitting on the couch. I'm being
bored all day. What's on TV? One thing led to another, and what do you know? But then her mom came home. But of course you don't knock if it's your own house. Been there. So she comes in and you're like, oh no, and there's no getting out of it. But I'm just and her mum just walks straight straight past us through the lounge room to her own bedroom and then locks the door, and I'm like, oh, do you make eye contact?
Well no, But then but then we're like this is embarrassing, and I'm laughing because again, I've been backpacking now for eighteen months. I've been staying in dorms, like it's my guide for what is normal and not has gone down considerably. You know, it's very like because again you're a grubby backpacker, like you're sneaking into everything. You just look good to be fine, and I haven't been sober for a year and a half, so I'm like to be that's hilarious.
This is just a funny story part of it. And again, well, my parents were well, like my mum is still, they're pretty like we just through jokes around growing up. We were always just having fun. So I don't know if my parents would have taken offense in that situation, but we probably would have laughed at it pretty quickly, been like oh, this is embarrassing. No, no, no, like a mum
just goes in the room. The girl at the time says, we're going to go for a long walk, like I don't know what we're going to do, and I'm laughing. I'm like, come on, we're gonna laugh at this sooner or later, like it's going to be a funny story. And she's like, no, no, you don't understand what my parents are. Like I'm an only child, you know, we never talked about anything like this, And I'm like okay.
And then of course, again because of my backpack, and I'm like, yeah, but I'm not flying out for like another seven days, so what are you going to do? I'm still here for another week. Yeah, I'm sitting in this situation. And it was funny because most Scandinavians have unbelievable English, like better English than I have. This is my only option and it's their second option, and they're
grammatically perfect. So English was always fine. We'd be at the dinner table well speaking English since the situation happened, they just spoke in Norwegian the rest of the time. Like It's like they ignored me, like I was like I was a ghost in their house, like the present. Yeah, I would just be going like it was like I didn't exist. They just ignored me for five days. But I stayed there because you couldn't fly out the cash too to move my flight would have cost twenty dollars.
I'm like, well that's two dollars I don't have. So I just sat there like a pest for the next week, just going yeah, I know I've eaten all your food and you know what we've been up to. Otherwise, that's gross, isn't it. That's gross. We talked about awkward moments on this podcast a lot. I think that might trump it.
To be honest, I think that for a whole week after being caught doing the deed by the mother of our people, you have to sit there at the dinner table and just cop it in a different language.
Don't cut this up and put that out of context on Instagram. Know, I know everyone does this in podcasts, like you got to listen to it because everyone will be like that guy's horrific. What a human what a horrible human being. Look, I'm aware of it. I tried to what are they saying twenty twenty one, I'm now listening and trying to make attention and be better.
Yeah, that's it. That's a wild one, right. I don't know if I should tell my story about being Yeah, okay, friends, not in has had told me to tell the story about me in Sweden, I was just a guy I met in college.
I don't even really know him. He's a friend of a friend. As you have, you know, and this is your entire life, is god. I went to the other side of the world from Collingwood. It's just like cool.
No one showed up the airport. What's going on? And I was in Sweden. I was like, oh, go see this guy, and he was in Finland. So I took the boat over to Finland. I had no selfhone service, so I just show up and he's no one's there, so I just get off the boat. No one's there to pick me up, and I'm just aimlessly in Finland with no idea he's in. I think Turku is the place that's called or something like that. Okay, he goes, Oh, we'll go. We'll go out to my family's you know,
you know, my family's lake house. Beautiful place. You know, there's like on a lake and there's beautiful trees and it's amazing, quite isolated, and I'm like, whatever, you know, I'll be able to hold my own. So he drives me like three hours out of the way in the middle of nowhere, and I was like, give about a hour out. I was like, this might be the last day of my life, Like this guy is going to probably we're not.
Going to wake up in a nice tub with a little missing, no doubt.
And it was it was proper middle of nowhere, Like there was like like dirt roads to get to this joint and everything like there was I had no way of like contact from the outside world.
I had no way. And I get there.
It's the first day of the World Cup and they do the opening ceremony. We watch that and stuff and goes on. In Finland we do signas and I was like, Okay, that's a bit freaking weird, all right, and I'm sure you probably get an idea where this is going. And I me, being a twenty three year old, I was quite conscious of my body still and like in Australia where speeders, we would never do that in America, like you just yea, you don't. You don't show off the
body as much as you do here. Everyone here is quite proud because I'm proud of what's going on.
Because America, even though even though you gained independence, you were colonized by the British like we were. So we've got that British thing of going there and to cover up. Yeah, and then you get to mainland Europe. No one in Paris, no one cares on the corner of things, and families will sit in sauna's just being like here's my bits, and they're like cool, the great awesome.
Well I ended up going so I go into this place I'm like, He's like, I'll go get changed whever.
I was like, all right, cool.
So this sauna is no bigger than maybe like half a meter by half a meter. It is a very very enclosed sauna.
And I walk in. There's like the read to get a safety for me. This is me. I was like a cool, Oh fine, whatever, We're just going to sign it. No big deal.
There's like this prep room where you put like the towel and I was like, oh, put my tale up. And I opened the door and I kid, you know, because the signings have two stories, right, He's not sitting on the bottom. He's sitting on the second story where it's like head level, and he's got his legs out spread eagle and he's got nothing on, just nothing on, and it's this awkwardness of like it's only us out here, like and he just looks at me and goes in Finland, we going naked.
And I just look back at him.
I was like, I'm either going to die tonight or have to bet naked in front of the student and try to act like this is normal.
So you know, now you've got to rebrand this to the Mason Cox Out Show. It would be the first time. So yeah.
So anyway, I sat there, took my jocks off, got naked, and essentially my head was right next to his is junk for about an hour and we went and ran down into the lake and back up. And I will say this, it was one of the best feelings in the world saunt at the cold bath. But I woke up that next morning feeling very refreshed and also very worried that something might have happened in the night that I wasn't
sure was going to be ashamed, Yeah, slightly ashamed. But we shared a bond Facebook friends as I count I don't know, but I haven't talked to him a few years.
But that was very interesting than fans only friends, our guess friends, true and ever only what could happen? There was no there's no interne out there. I'll give you that.
So but we'll move on from travel man. We could I can talk to each about trouble forever because I feel like we've both done the euro trip. But we'll go back into your comedy mate. Now, obviously everyone knows you for your comedy and along the lines of travel, you did the Edinburgh Comedy Festival, Yes, how was that.
It's just finished now because it happens in August every year and it is a lot. It is a lot. There's a big deal though. It is a big deal, and it takes over all of Edinburgh, like Edinburgh's a decent, outsize city, and it takes over the whole thing for a month. And I'm talking there's shows from ten am till four in the morning. Yeah, and bigger than Melbourne Hearing. Yeah, because Melbourne's a comedy festival. This is a fringe festival. So yeah, a rething. Like there was a show one year.
It was called man sits in gorilla suit for an hour and does nothing and people all turned up like, oh, what's going to happen, Like, yeah, it's a man in a suit like sitting there doing nothing. But the thing is he had a camera on. This was probably about twenty ten. He had a camera on the audience because he said it was funny because it was an hour. I don't know the guy, yeah, but I just read about stuff and I saw a bit of a highlighted
video footage. It said it was people just they'd go a little weird because they're going, oh, this is exactly what it is, and then they would all look at each other, but we've paid a ticket for the we don't want to leave. They made money for it, yeah, because well, I mean it might only be a couple of quid. But once that happens, it's almost like, well, I want to play this out. I'm invested. And then he said it was really funny because he's watching people
because he's not moving a muscle. But then they almost have becoming the show because they're going like, well, that's just what's happening here. And then and then you slowly start going, well, I could go up to the monkey, I guess, and oh, like a mascot. But then you know what I mean, you could just think, oh, I can toil around him. I could I could do a lap dance, you know what I mean, because you're thinking, like what you do whenever.
The outside the Royal Palace with the people on the red coats and the big habite.
Edinburgh was great. But then because there's so many shows on, it's a needle in a haystack thing because people you're from the other side of the world. I mean, when I went I sound like an old man, but you know, this is kind of pre well, social media was around, but you know this out this does make me sound like an old man. There wasn't Wi Fi around. If you're on the internet, you had to go to a cafe and get the Internet from a computer, not justting
on your phone the whole time. Like we didn't have smartphones really then, and so you kind of had to get the word out and you spend the whole month. You're flying people in the rain the whole time. And it was there that I received the most pleasant yet most cutting heckle I've ever received. Really, because you do a show, it's an hour long show, and because too, they get audiences from all over, like they get a
lot of people from America. I notice Canada and America because relatively, I think a fly over the Atlantic, yeah, it's a bit of a trek, but it's not that big in the scheme of things compared to say Australians going to the other side of the world. It's what
a six hour flight or so. Quite often they know that the Edinburd Fringe festival's on it's summer, so they go, okay, we'll do that, and then a bit of a sojourn through Finland to do a sauna and then so you're getting audiences from everywhere and you just don't know how they're going to react, Like sometimes your jokes are tailored for certain audiences, right, like yes, and also with the accent, because if you say English as your second language, you're
used to maybe hearing an English person an an American person speak. And then all of a sudden again yeah, hair gown. They're like, I don't know what's happening here, and I'm sitting here for an hour and this guy squawking away. So and I was relatively new to the game like that was I was probably six years in, and so I didn't have the tools to know how to adjust or anything. You're just going, well, this is the hour show, and so I had I remember this
was three nights in a row. I wasn't getting a lot from the audience, Like three nights in a row, and you'll get audiences that are just flat. There's only so much you can do. Maybe the worst feeling though, Yeah, but I also think to myself, oh, because I mean it also dictates on whether it dictates what time of the week it is, because Saturday night people are like,
I'm out, I'm drinking yacht. If it's Wednesday, people are like, yeah, I'm having an all right, but I'm going to go home after this and get my head out of sleep. There's not a lot you can do. Yeah, okay, you can only get it moving so far. There might be comedians listening to this gun now, they could be out Wenesday Night's prime night. Now you just choose not to. But and so the first night you're like, okay, there was just a flat audience. Second night you're like, okay,
that was weird. It was two nights in a row. A third one you're going, I don't know what's happening anymore? Is it me? Is it me? Yeah? Maybe this is just me? And again you're every night for a month, like for a month, every night for a month, every night for a month. So you think, is this just it for the rest of the run? Am I just not going to get a laugh for the next three weeks? And then just drive myself into the middle of Siberia
I never come back. So in this third night, it's about twenty minutes into an hour show, and there was a couple of people laughing like they were up the back is probably eighty people in the crowd. There's three people who are going rogue, but everyone else is silent. And in that situation, because they're in the dark, you can only see so many people, but every person looked like they're at a funeral, like, oh my god, man, this is Goma. So twenty minutes in I drop a gag.
The rogue laughers laugh, but then once a peter away through the silence, some spokesperson from the rest of the crowd, the silent majority leans across to those people and goes.
Sh oh, no, can you stop laughing.
If it's a lectures yeah, none, we're trying to break this man's hopes and dreams. Could you just be quiet now and let it play out? And I was like, I can't believe because there was nothing I could say to him, like, oh no, they're allowed to laugh. Yeah, you people are in the wrong. And it was such a like it felt like I don't know where they was from, but it felt like such a British yeah, like a very proper head. No, no, no, the colonial boy is wrong. There is no reason for him to
be here quiet. Oh geez, how did you react to it?
Did you just kind of go ah, just keep going, just keep just keep noting on stone, just keep getting through it.
Well I did laugh. I laughed, and I think I said something to those words I just said, and then everyone, most of them, looked at me and went yeah. And funnily enough, the next year I opened with that story because I would be like, the last time I was here, this happened. And then there was a big laugh and this guy's like, yeah, that was us, that was us.
Last propose. Know, the people who laughed come back. So I'd won over three people and lost seventy seven of them, which isn't good old next year, but they came back and I was like, that's actually quite lovely of you.
You have some super fans. Yeah, yeah, su three guys.
I hope you're still hanging on. Guys. I've given you every reason not to thank you for hanging on. So it was a lot, and I did two years straight and then and I was like, I'm done here. It's a long way to go. Yeah, and it's a grind. Some people get out to go after a year after year and then really accruel an audience. Like Jamoen. He goes back after every year and he's got it. He's really big in Edinburgh, but I just was like, I can't. This is a lot.
Yes, it's very much an aftert, especially if we get silence from the client for a whole month straight.
You think you are maut hardened and then it's just something like that. It breaks you. It would break you up for sure. But surely you've got stories of I've been lucky enough now to meet guys in you know, professional sports people, and then when they tell me stories, because sport is there for people to roast, like in comedy, it's almost like, Okay, you want to come up and we're going to go toe to toe if this this is what you want. Not that I ever encourage it,
but it may happen. But in sports people like, no, no, I'm going to spend the entire time shitting on you.
And if you shit back on and then they throw a fit, well, sure you can't like it, you can't react too much. Everyone can shooit on you. But if you like say anything back, then it's like a big deal.
I know. I always found that a bit weird when they I can't believe people say that, are you once I retire? Chains are off? Baby? Come at me on Twitter? Have you had anyone that have thrown stuff at you that has actually put you off, like you've got that one actually hit home.
No, I'm not really I don't really care because I'm kind of like this probably sounds really big headed, but most people are probably sitting there watching me playing the stands. I always wish they could have played AFL and some dipshit out like American doesn't know what it is out there playing off for them, so kind of.
It's really just a slap in their face, if anything.
I will say once, I think we were playing Richmond and I wasn't having the greatest game, and the Richmond fans actually chanted Usa to me as a bit of like a you're playing like shit mate, like it just kind of getting abby, and I was like that's I was like, fair col, fair col, you know, like you cop it able to.
Give it fair enough. This is obviously this isn't my story, and this is Bob Murphy told me this story. Yeah, he was playing and I can't remember which injury it was, but it was a significant injury. It might have been the one in the twenty sixteenth season and he was getting stretched off. And again, this is Bob's story to tell but I have said it before on radio shows and things, and I've said, Bob, I've all their stories, like here you go for it. And he said he
was getting stretched off. So you've got thoughts of this is the end of my career? Will I ever come back? I can't believe this has happened right now, because I can imagine for a sports person too, it's like this is it's not just my career, it's my earnings, Like what will I do after this? He said he's getting stretched off? And about a ten year old kid leans across and goes, Murphy, you just fuck my super coach. A ten year old kid? How is that? Like a
kid of visceratity for a super coach? I hate you that much, really, mate, I don't know how I'm going to pay for my mortgage. I don't know how this is going to work out. It's even what a mortgage is at that age. That's true. Oh my gosh, that's just like mom and dad teaching the wrong things to that kid.
Yeah, well yeah, you really look at their parents and that one go like, you know, you're the asshole in this situation.
It's not really your kids, faar, But I mean that's way worse than anything that's been thrown at me. Really, I think so I haven't had too many.
I feel like it's in the comedian you kind of work that line sometimes of like offending people like I know, I know recently you've you've talked you live in I don't say this, you live in the now, the talk about yeah yeah, you live in Brynsburg, And they're kind of known to be the people people take the piss out of right, and you do it in good faith, you know, you know, you take the piss out of
them here and there. And like, have you had anyone like to come out to you and said, like, I've been offended by something you've said while you're in a like in comedy.
It's funny. I Online especially, that's different that people just signed the balls to say that your face. I feel like, Yeah, online is when people like I post old stand up clips on my Instagram, Dave.
Score yet the Twitter, Instagram, you do Facebook, it's all there, mate. It might even be Apple Music and Spotify just like us. Everyone listening anyway.
At all the great places you listen to your podcasts? Now, what is your Usagram? Though? Shout it out Dave underscore Thorno all right, I want to check it out follow me. But only put up a clip recently that I did on row of years ago, and it was just about spelling. It's the most innocuous subject you could think of. And I just said, oh, English is the hardest thing which is spelled, because there's silent letters and there's things like this,
and it's amazing. People like, why don't you try Danish? Mate? What don't you try? And people are roasting over spelling. You're like, okay, but man, if you look at it. This was two thousand and eight. I I didn't have the ability to look up Danish to see in what ranking order was the hardest spelling language. But that's that. That is a microcosm of what you know. It's like online, Yeah, people will taking with everything. Yeah, the Brunswick thing I always do say. I'm like, I love it and that's
why I give it shit. Yeah, you know, I sometimes have to explain this to people. And again it's online where people like, even though say, ah, you complaining about your kids. The more I have kids, I'm like, it's such. I don't say that I don't love them, it's just that and maybe it's an Australian thing or whatever, but it's like the closer someone is to you, the more you're probably going to give them shit. That's the That's
how I grew up. Like it's with love that you wind someone up and people go, look, you hate it. You're like, that's like I wouldn't make jokes when I hate something. I don't find it funny. I hate it. I'm not ignore it. Yeah, yeah, it's in the rubbish bin of my mind. I'm like, throw it out because it just frustrates me that much. When I enjoy something I have done with it, it's like that's when I'm winding it up. Like it's fine to give each other shit.
I mean, you're in a football club. I'm very sure none of you are like, great game, well done, some pat on the back. Should we all hold hands of incomeboy ar? Do you know you want to do that? After the game? We all are We do a whimsical tune at the end of the game. It's funny. I had a Canadian friend. The whole pomp and ceremony of AFL is hilarious, Like when I've brought a friend from
overseas to watch a game. There's so many things. He's like, they're running through tissue paper and you're like, yeah, man, it's that's when the gladiatorial battle is about to begin with through tissue paper. And then you're right at the end. I remember, because I'm a Geelong fan. Well, you win the match, and then there's this year oldie song and my friend's like, what is happening and you're like, oh, I don't know.
Brass Band comes out, like we're living in the nineteen twenties. It's the first era win to It was a July game. Geng fan. It was like we are Geelong the ghotos tab. I just looked at my brother.
I was like, are these motherfucker seriously, this is the weirdest shit. What is happening is weird? And then port Adelaid plays in excess and everyone goes, well, that's weird. Why would you do that because it's a modern song happen been around undred nineteen hundred. You're right. Then they'll get around and you know, it's the weirdest thing. Between that and the pink runners I run out in the field and middle of the game. I always found that
really weird. But that the umpires, the umpires suit. I want to bring back the old white white coats mount telling you it like the an arts teacher or something. Yes, never thought that's a great way to put it. They all come across here. They're wearing the full trench coat like your teacher, and would work. Okay, guys, get out of the circular sort. I forget to where you gogles like. It was very strange. You know, it's funny you said that because I remember being in America and I went
to a baseball game. I saw there some weird stuff. Yeah, I went saw the Cubbies in Chicago. The field and then first base coach is hilarious because I'm always like sign, I'm always like, what the fuck is he telling? Is a professional? Like he goes, you know, after first we go to second? Yeah, you know, you know, sorry, I'm probably getting in your ay more than anything. I'm like, you need someone to walk out and explain how a diamond works.
I can only imagine they'd just be talking shit to it, like this guy's trash. He's gonna fucking throw you at here. There's gonna be something, sure, But then I don't know if you've seen it. The signs they do because the first base coach. What they really do is they show signs to the batter sometimes and they'll be like, you know the the you know, they left right up and then left right and then it's like they're doing some kind of weird prayer. I'm not really sure, but that's
kind of I think what they do. But I can only imagine being a first base coach. Did you just sit on it's essentially just sitting on the sideline, just talking to people and maybe taking a helmet every once in a while off someone.
Sure, and that's it. Yeah, that's it.
But then I thought I thought you were going to say the dot race. Did you have a dot race at regular field? No, they have these like dots, right, So it's colors and they have everyone gets a color. They hand out these pieces of paper. Everyone gets a color and if you if your dot's the winner, you get like a free a dot free mix.
In a Poka dot like like a Poka dot.
Yeah, just a color and you get like a free big Mac if your thing wins, right, and they'll have it are different teams have different things, but they'll have the dot race on the screen, will go blah bla blah, and then all of a sudden, now like left field,
you'll have. What they'll do is we'll get three drunk mates and they'll be like, hey, you want to be the dots for the day, And of course they're all like, hell, yes, we get three people put on this like ridiculous outfit wherever it is, so they look like an M and M. Yeah, kind of different ones do different things. So I think the Nationals do like different like presidents, like ex presidents.
They put like a president's head on. It is like a big, huge thing right f every point break and you get three just drunk idiots and they're all trying to race to home to see who's going to be the first one.
So it's like you can imagine just shoving like life right center.
Everyone's just shoving each other over and everyone's cheering for whatever person they got on their little piece of paper just for a big back. You know, I know, what really gives a shit about the outcome, but everyone just wants to see someone get taken out, and it's one of the most entertaining things at baseball.
But that's one of the nice things I always think about slow sports like that because cricket's the same, and I now with cricket and they have it was obviously tests and then one days came in and now it's twenty twenty. But the only thing is when it was tests. And I've been to a few tests matches at the mcg and boxing day where because there's more of not doing the thing than doing the thing. You know, baseball is like one hit and then we all stand around
and scratch ourselves. Stupid shit like that happens all the time because people and drunk, yeah, and they've been there all day so they're like and then stupid stuff that happens, and you're like, this is way more entertaining than the actual game itself. It's proof that if you just don't do a lot and put alcohol in it, it's a lot of fun. They do like the cup stack so
you can get the highest cup stack. Of course. I remember a guy walking out and he had four bees on him and then everyone's like, skull and he skulls one, then one, keeps going, keep going, and then he finishes four and then my mate went to the bathroom. This guy's just yacting on the tiles and you're like, oh, he's having a glory. You really have to pay for it. Good stuff.
It's like Bob ha like y'all love people scrolling stuff, even like Bob Hawke, the old Prime Minister of Scold a beer at the cricket and everyone lost their mind. Anything albu and easy. Recently at a gang of youth's concert, scold a beer and it's just I feel like it's very Australi. And Daniel Ocrdo does the skull out of the shoe.
That's showy. It's just a very Australian. The tiny draft. Yeah, it's good. It's just something you'll love. I don't know. Yes, I did find that when I went to America, and it could be wrong because we shotgun beers. A shotgun is I know, a shotgun? But I just found too in America, your casual drinking is a lot less than as a rule of thumb, I found the casual drinking
gets to go home, back home. Well that's what I always feel like, like they'd always be like, man, you drink it a lot and you're am I isn't this fine? But maybe that was the place I was going to. But I did want to ask you. Circling back to the runners, Have you ever had that thing where like a runner has come out. Have they always been really serious or do they sometimes just come out and be like, Hey, they tell me to come out and say something. I don't know.
Yeah, a lot of times they'll come out and say something. I'm just look at Pendles like you got that? Yeah, just run the other way and you keep going. Feddles, He'll figure it out for everyone else.
You go between.
He just looks at me and goes say something. I look at Pendles. He goes that means hit to this number, and I'm like, okay, gun, Yeah, Pendles runs the show. Pendles just runs a shot there. I'm telling you, he's the main man.
But now they do.
There's there's never like I feel like at a professional level, like it's always very serious. But if you were like kind of a local level, like surely you're just having a bit of fun just going out there roasting players left front and center.
Yeah, absolutely, I just think that. Yeah, the whole concept of a runout, like even if you went to VFL level, I think there must be guys running out gone got nothing to say to you. But I was just on tinder and have they got that? That's pretty good, isn't it? Like, surely it's just chatter. Surely if you're up by sixty maybe I'm not really sure at all. You're about sixty. Really, anything goes for the runner. I feel like it's his time to shine. Actually that's a good point. If it's
over sixty, it should be. Yeah. The lesson is him just coming out and just working. I've got a booking tonight at a restaurant. Do you reckon? We should be eight or ten of us? What do you reckon? I'll put ten in and see how we go, Like he should just you know, you've been whatever time he's left in the show, just organizing shit.
Yeah, he's sortain beers out for after the game. Actually is probably what he's doing. He's like, Ah, you know, booking at this pub, this pub, you know you think we need two kegs or three?
Yeah, surely, surely we'll move on there.
I know you've done a lot of different stuff. You've done radio, which I want to talk to you about. You've done the fifty Dave faven Byron. You've also done like the Project, and you've done the Rove. Like you said, I feel like the Rove might be a cult because I feel like every comedian here in Australia has been on Rope show.
Yeah, well it was, I mean the closest thing to like it was a late night chat show.
Yewan Peter Hollier on he talked about Rowe being one of the first original things he started with and like being able to get into comedy from that, and.
Yeah, man, I mean those So it was nineteen ninety nine. I remember they were on air and Roe for ten years was like ow Dave Letterman. It was our Johnny Carson. It was like the late ninth thing and that was the only spot you could do stand up on, so all those comedians got we were on that and that was us doing our first ever real stand up spot. Yeah, you know, and yeah it was great. I mean it was. It was. It was a hell of funny show. Like I mean, Pete, I was only talking to him about
this recently, like he was twenty four or something. When life goes on and then becomes like nationally famous, I'm like, oh, man, you've been famous for like twenty years, you know, like Pete's been. It's done a lot. Yeah, man, like so much, and so you know you think like maybe some kids. Now there's probably a generation of kids that maybe didn't grow up on it. But for us, for my age, it was like Rove was many. He won Logis Mate. People listening overseas, there's big news, big news the Logis.
Big news is that the Oscars of Australia. Unfortunately, yes, yeah, okay, cool. No one got slapped in these oscars to they maybe in the after party, yeah, a few loose units in the after party.
The Logis is a place where not so much anymore. But we used to get Americans over, like you would find find the star that was desperate for cash. Yes, and then they would come over and it was usually one way or the other. They're either on the way up or the way down. Like we would never get someone at the peak of their powers. You'd get like a Matt LeBlanc who friend Joey trailing from friends Friends would have finished ten years ago, and he's turning up
going what is my manager said yes to? And they just couldn't understand what is going on.
He's just gone, I'm just here for the after party, to be honest, Just give me a script and I'll read it.
Oh totally. Yeah, he's probably ying out the home and away table, like what girls there is going to be the next one in the in the American actress scheme.
Yeah yeah, yeah, so coming away far out, Yeah, neighbors no longer rip ip, it's only home and away now, that's where all the actress have to go.
That's the only one left. Yeah, I think dark times in Australian television.
We'll talk about television because you actually were on Better Roses and your character, Shannon Shannon was it.
I've read it here.
It says he was an injured twenty four year old AFL player who found himself in trouble and return home to the series fictional town of Rainbows in and to his mum.
That's it. Give us a little bit of a backtra for that, mate. It was. It was my first ever kind of really acting. I don't because I've never studied acting. People I go to study acting like no, I don't know if you've seen my performances design, Yeah, that's exact t. Thank you mate. I was working on Pantoon colors, a bit of a pluggre. Maybe I'll love it. I was genuinely love it. It's funny I've been asked to do talks at the Gordon Institute of tape with you when
he wanted to talking. You realize I used none of that education to be where I've gotten. That's not a good self for students. None of it was worth it, So enjoy but yes, you better row. And it's a funny situation because the character was kind of based on Ben Cousins. Yeah, okay, yeah, and that's such as life exactly, so yeah, you've got context. So it was so it was like, oh, so just act like you're in some real trouble here, And I'm like, at what level will
I method act this? How far am I going to do some research? Did you just watch? I mean there was enough. There was enough research going on. It was the front page news, So like, yeah, I think I've got it. And it was kind of alarming that people go, you can pay the role of some wheels have completely fallen off. Who do we think of it? Dave? Dave will fill this role. Pera looks like a man who's barely got it together. Let's get him on fits the bill?
Yeah yeah yeah. But because I was young and probably taking myself a bit too serious, I then said, yep, I'm going to hack my hair, I'll get bleached blonde tips, I'll look like loose. But then you realize you've got to live with that. Like I was at mate's weddings just going They're like, what are you doing? What are you doing? I'm a character? Is the character like an absolute spanner because you look like an idiot? And I was like, Oh, You've got to live with this for
the rest of my time. I remember I remember this small part in a movie with Portia de Rossie. It was an Australian movie now made, put together by Robin Butler and Wayne Hope, and it was great. But they had me on as a cop in this situation and I was into a narrative device where the main Portia de Rossi's character was over here in Australia, and then she was caught with a lot of kind of over the counter drugs that were legal in America that illegal here in Australia. So then she was she had to
stay in Australia. But I was the cop that kind of found her. Remember Portia Rossi is like Allan's wife, you know, like she's like she's a big deal. And of course I'm coming thinking, oh, I'm a cop, like, you know, I want to act like a cop. And I was even living in authority, you know it, Mason. And then so I remember going to a cop station in sin Kilda. I remember turning out and like, what would a cop do in this situation? And the cops like,
what are you talking about it? And I said, I'm doing this script like this is a serious I took it and he said what, like, maybe we got bigger fish to fry, like we're in and killed her. I'm trying to get the junkies off the street and you've come in, going who would work look a cop? He's like, I don't put a suit on and get a bat.
I don't care. So I get there and I'm supposed to be dragging her into the station, and so I'm like, I don't because I hate watching movies or TV shows where you'll see the extra or the person that's off to the side and they're not doing their job, you know what I mean, Like I look for that. Yeah, in a sports movie, they'll cut to the crowd and it's an extra who's barely gotten off their seat. You like, mate, this is supposed to be the winning touchdown of the
college game. That finishes the movie's nothing, and you look like you're pissed off because you didn't get all the catering you wanted. And so I'm like, I'm going to commit to this. And so I've got Porsche and I'm taking her down the stairs and she just goes cart because I'm grabbing her arm and she's like, he's about to throw me down the stairs. And I was like, like the director and everyone's going to have I'm like, I almost killed Ellen's wife like that, don't know I
should go. I think I've lost this role. Yeah, that's when I was looking back through my tape credentials to be I can fall back and meet your graphic design. Maybe this isn't for me. There's a better option. Yeah, maybe maybe acting is not good for me because I also then traversed a homicide. So yeah, it wasn't great.
Gosh, well we'll move on into too sport mate. I know you love your basketball and we recently saw each other in the NBA store with Jamal Murray, which was a very interesting experience.
Hey girl, it was a Monday morning and it was just AFL players and comedians.
That was easy becausees with Monday off is a very awkward scenario. I felt like, I don't know why, maybe you had a different experience, but they kind of like throw you in front of these people and they're like, i'll speak on hang out.
It's like.
I played basketball back in the day, and this is Davie. He does comedy. Because you've got no touchstones. But yeah, you know if you feel like oh, I felt like grabbing Jamal and going, hey, I like what you do. I'm not I'm not a super fan. Yeah, I just want to let you know, like I like watching you play. I'm not I'm not some weird.
Yeah. I don't want to cut off some of your hair and sniff it at night. I just want to, you know, just hang for a bit. And it seems kind of cool. Please don't take me for a widow. But then by right of you saying that you feel like a weird, you're weird.
Yeah, there's nothing that can get you out of that scenario. I feel like of just being that awkward guy on the side just going hey, Mal, what's up there?
You going yeah, and he's gonna, well, you realize you can't have a normal chat like we're having now because I said, oh, hear it's from how's your injury going? Because he had an ACL and he was out for the season, and of course he's he doesn't want some schmuck in Australia, then getting online and going I just heard Jamal said he's going to be out for another six months. He's god day to day. It's on PR
and I can understand that. And then all of a sudden, because it's not a conversation, he's not going to go and how are you and the family, He's just going, I just want to move through this and get my paycheck, which I understand. He was nice, he was lovely, very lovely, but it was just weird. And but yeah, I mean I am. Yeah, I'm a bit of a tragic when it comes to basketball, Like I love it a bit
too much. What do you mean in that sense? Well, like anything, like my go to is just if I'm sitting there and I'm a bit tired on the couch, I just look up YouTube and I'll watch any thing related with basket really, like I watch horrendous things like I'll watch highlights of Michael Jordan and Len Bias playing Maryland unc unlike a YouTube old school. Yeah, that's old. I will watch I just watched a Penny Hardaway Magic Johnson thing on YouTube, Like I followed dudes that You're like,
why are you watching this? And I'm like, I don't know. I will just take anything that's basketball related. What's your favorite team? What's your team? The Knicks? Yeah, so it sucks, so you can understand why I don't actually like watching games YouTube replays. It's probly the vast idea. Yeah, but are you, like, are you a basketball fan? Because I know you you grew up kind of playing soccer and then you I'm.
More of a fan of like players in the NBA. I'm fans of people I've had interactions with and dealton life with, so like I used to both with Michael Smart, playinst Johan and Beid Andrew Williams, people like that. I'm like, I hope they go well because the more they go well, then it's kind of a cool story for me to tell.
Yeah. Sure, and it's kind of like you're somewhat connected, Like if I do either number or anything like that.
Now, I don't know, I am. I'm sure they're just like there's some random dude over in Australia. But it is cool to be like, you know, I'm somewhat I guess like that was the reason that it got me there. Playing against those people and being able to play at the high level got me to where I'm at now. So it's kind of a cool story to tell the people.
Yeah. Yeah, but I'm from Dallas, so I've got to be a Dallas Mavericks fan. Oh so you're from Dallas. Yeah, because he was a school in Oklahoma. Yeah, that's right. It was engineering or something here. Yeah, it was.
It was almost as good as the design and art from Gordon's institu day as much from it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it costs a little bit more than four hundred dollars, but I.
Have her terachury does last a bit in America? Does it does? But then do you have a student loan? Similar situation.
I was fortunate enough to have parents that paid for schooling. Yeah, you do usually take out loans and stuff. And then but basketball players, because I was I played basketball in college and a lot of the guys that play basketball get their education paid for.
On scholarship, right, sure, I was never that guy. I never really got that opportunity.
Although I played over guys that were on scholarship, which doesn't really make sense in the whole grand scheme of things, but yeah, I never got any money for it, so I just showed up every single day and just they flew private jets around the world around the country. We flew over to Spain and Europe and did the like tournaments over there, and then yeah, it's all paid for. You get like you know, private escorts to games and the buses and like state these really fancy hotels and
all the fancy dinners and all that stuff. And like I walked into Collingwood and the first time I went there, They're like, how good is this? This is the greatest facility in all of Australia. And I was like, that's pretty shit.
Comparative he was.
I didn't really want to say it to him, but yeah, and he's no longer there, so I can say whatever I want.
But yeah, I wasn't thoroughly impressed.
It was impressive in a sense of like, you know, it's a professional environment the people there and all the different weights and all that kind of stuff. But if I were comparing it to what I had back in the university and some of the football stuff and basketball stuff that was there.
It didn't probably stack up. Gordon Institute of Tafe was the same man. It was just private shuttles everywhere everywhere you want. Yeahs to be honest, I don't feel like lobster for lunch today. We got anything else on the Men? Anything anything? What's Oklahoma like? Because all I know is Oklahoma City thunder. I have no other reference points. I think tornadoes ripped through.
There is the Tornado Alley we talk and we talked about on the podcast all the time with Tornado Alley, and Brendon always says, why the hell would you ever live in Tornado Alley? And that's literally I spent a whole life so barbering in Australia. Oklahoma is just flat planes, whole whole state flat planes. And then there's Oklahoma City. There's Norman South there and then there's still Water.
Well. Went to University's about an hour away.
So you have the university towns, which are awesome because like university Town's you got tailgag. You know, it's like the whole college experience and everything else, which I try to touch on, but try not to touch on it too much.
Because I'm like, get in trouble. I'm still playing, but there's all that kind of stuff that happens, you know.
And then like Oklahoma City is kind of like the city that's kind of close to not a massive per se city in the in the country. It's a lot of oil and gas industries there and everything else. But the team is there, the Oklahoma City Thunder. They've got Josh Giddy, who's obviously Australian, and.
Twelve gallon cowboy hats that kind of stuff, is it, Yeah, like real cowboys?
Oh yeah, genuine like two step in like little honkey tonks at school and stuff.
Man, the holy thing. Yeah, you had to learn how to step in college. What's what's too?
Is it like the type of dance but square dance? Square dancing's kind of like that but different. We were all the girls and stuff.
We got the nutbush, mate, we get it. We got the nut bush. Hey. I recently saw there was like the world's largest.
Nut bush like gathering in Australia, like a year ago, I want to say, in the middle of nowhere. We'll have to look it up recently. But I didn't know what the nut bush was until then. And then I saw like two thousand people doing at the same time. I was like, this must be a thing.
I don't know. Yeah, because I only found out that the Nutbush is really Australian. I never heard of it. Yeah, no, that's what. How do you do the nut Bush? No? Because I find it's the communism of dancing. I'm like, we're all doing the same, are we? I can't even cut a rug on my own. No, I'm freestyling. I'm not doing this. It's not freestyle. The nut Bush. You know where the whole name comes from. Well, the I
mean nutbush limits Is that what it is? Yeah, that's it all card But that's what because it's an old Tina Turner and Ike song. That's what I thought I was from America. It's no, No, we just somehow created us. Did it for? I think Australian men who don't have rhythm where they like just follow suit like this and this is your peacocky, rather than standing in the corner getting yourself extremely drunk and slurring your way to a woman at about midnight. That's me. That's me.
If I try to dance. Actually would have thought I tried to dance. It's really a hazard elbows you know, just like head height copped a few in the head. Some of the girls ever walking past could image never the greatest intro.
I'll tell you that, you know, talking about the division between Americans and Australians. Got a good friend of mine, Monty Franklin, who I started doing stand up with, and he now lives in LA and he's a great stand up Monty, and he was telling me a story where and you would have found this out when you came across here, is that in America you don't do hip hip paray at the end of Happy Birthday, do no.
You guys go on a hole like you know, you know, you guys go on the whole like you go longer after the actual song, talking trash.
And whatever it is.
Yeah, there's like the extension of the Happy Birthday is actually longer than the happy Birthday song here, well it's happy birthdays.
You get to the end. And I always say, because I've got young kids that when you're at a kids party too, I'm looking at the parents going, you've got a hip hop paray. This is your this is your job now, like you don't want to stranger gun, Well, I guess I'm leading the parade hip hop, and then everyone goes hooray, and we do that three times and then if you're want to there, well it was he born so beautiful and there's just some You're right, it just keeps it just keeps going. Yeah, it's like we
can't say goodbye to each other. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, like that's we keep doing that. But my mate learnt the hard way because he said he was in America. Oh no, you're all doing happy birthday, and he said with confidence, he's gone hip hop and everyone's gone, what did you just say? Because when you have it in isolation, what is hip hop? Like? It's not You realize it's a rally call. But if no one responds to the rally, you've just said something out loud, just two syllables.
Hip At the prime moment of the end of the song, over goes quiet. You just decided it's my time to shine, and.
He lent the worst way possible. Not everyone's like, what did you just happen? What happened?
Oh my gosh, that would be degrading almost like I was spending thirty minutes but no one you're laughing at the Editburn Frinch Festival immigration you need to go take it just actually got citizenships?
No chance anymore? You have yeah, official Aussie Wednesday. This happened. This happened four, four or five months ago. Did you get a little gum tree? I did. I got a little gun try and it died within a week. I mean idiot. I watered it and it just was like too much, too much. You can't take it out once you order it. So I was like, I'm stuffed. You got to trade a man, keep him cane gun. He's not only one so much water? Yeah? Was there anything
else you needed to research to become in Australian? Do they all have the citizen?
Yeah, there's a test man and it's it's actually quite easy, but yeah, it's I think most Australians would probably fail it because a lot of Australians don't really care for patriotism per se here. No, it's a very big thing in America. In Australia it's kind of like ah whatever, mate, like Green and Gold, you know her Pepper Ray. Oh that Chatz it is, isn't it.
We all have this little bit of It's like when I explained to phone as where they say, well, what's a bogan? And Americans usually say it's a red neck, but you go, yeah, but it's not because in the fact that redneck seems like a slight, like a flat out. If you said to someone with your redneck, they'll be like, well, what did you just call me? When Australia we have that thing, someone goes, you're a bit of a boguin and guaranteed everyone goes, yeah, yeah, a bit of a
bug I'm proud of it. Yeah, we're a big ship. Like we all have that thing of like it's a badge of honor to be a bit ship and we all go yeah that, like to hang.
Shit on each other is a thing. He just talked trash about each other. I came here and I was like literally blind. I was like, these people are freaking a householes everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a sign of endearment totally.
I used to follow a group on Facebook that was subtle Bogan traits and it genuinely made me laugh. Usually Facebook groups, you're like, ah, this is not good, and people put up memes and they're a bit shit. But this one was just little things that you notice that we all do and you go, yeah, that's very funny, Like things like having the fridge door open. No one's ever not sworn at when the fridge door starts beeping at you know, it's like it starts coming b Get
the fuck fucking shut up. And then the one that really made me laugh. And this is a very subtle Australian trait, and I reckon I could say one hundred percent of people do this in Australia when you say, ah, what can you do? But realistically there's heaps you can do. You know, we always come to a conclusion of like, what can you do? Probably heaps. They're probably heaps, So we all just come to that conclusion like nah, that's all the thing. He's a bit ship. Yeah, what are
you going to do? We'll vote him out, Like there's heaps you could do, but we just go up. We're just like yeah nah nah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. No. I always thought that was a weird I was like, okay, so yes or no no where, yes, I get it. You know. The closest thing I've noticed is that when I did travel to Srilanka, Oh this has come back on the pod come full circle?
Is that?
And anyone from the subcontinent have you traveled over there? To India. Na, it's on my list. I have to I really have to laugh because my partner said, oh, yeah, you haven't seen this before. And everyone I talked to, like Dealick Joire Singer who's a great comedian. When I
sit to him, I'm like, how is that reaction? Because there's a non committal, like a head nod that people will give you that doesn't mean anything, like you were quite off when I was in Trilanka and I was like, oh, so so I need to get to this other town. Is it easier? It is probably trained quicker, and they'll just go yeah, and it's like this head like, it's not a nod, it's not a shake of the head. It's just a movement of a head. Where you go, that wasn't an answer, could you just say to me?
And they're just like, yeah, I just answered you to make sure that you got an answer. It's non committal either way. And I was like, oh, this is yeah nah ah, it's the Australian word of h let's go ahead and then just trail. Yeah. And if it goes tits up, I didn't give you that advice exactly, you'll never find me again. And if it does work out, you'd be like, oh, yeah, that guy kind of encourage me.
You know, he's a really nice fere. I just don't really speak the language I think you were saying, go on the train, go on the trade. Just a non commitment. Gosh, that's so good man. We'll wrap it up on that man. Well, before I do that, I want to ask you the charity.
I know you're part of the Big Umbrella you talked about Beyond Blue. Yes, some of the work you've done there. We love shoutowing out charities on the podcast to tell us some of the work you've done.
The Big Umbrella tBu. They're great. You can look them up online. That they rescue food. So there's a lot of food wastage from a Baker's, supermarkets, whatever, and they rescue food, cook it up and then they give it
to people living rough. So I started doing work with them during the lockdowns and pandemic and they do amazing work and it's so great delivering food to people who are living rough and this is sometimes the only hot meal that they've got for the week, and it is amazing when you think the amount of wastage that we do have, but it doesn't take relatively a lot of effort to cook all that stuff up and then deliver it to people. And there's like I realized you're in that.
Like food is just the international handshake for everyone. If you're giving someone food, they're not going to be like, oh what's this about. They're like, oh, thank you, this is really lovely, very apprecive. Yeah, and it's just and you think it's effort because it's that's all it is. Like it's not relatively costing anything because this is food that people didn't want. It's so true. I feel like like whenever you get to a supermarket, everything there is perfect.
You realize that whenever you go to a fine not everything's perfect now. So only the best of the beast makes it to the supermarket where there's so much that's kind of wasted that you can actually use on a different thing. So it's cool to see places like that doing it. Yeah, and they get a lot of corporate people coming in and so the corporate teams will help out, and every time that people finish, they say, oh, this
is this is so much fun. Because also opposed to like white collar work, which a lot of us do our laptops doing all the work is that you it's physical, it's meant just manual labor. It's crunt work, and it's quite nice because you start and then you do it and then you finish. Yeah, you know, it's not like an office job where you go, I'll just leave now and I'll come back to where I left it yesterday. You know what I mean. You feel like you've you've
physically done something physically. Yeah. Yeah, and the people are really grateful for it. So yeah, check it out the big umbrella. That's the thing. I thank you.
You probably you've probably come out of that feeling better, you know, doing something for someone else. Yeah, it's that cliche, you know, like you feel better for doing something positive for someone else, not necessarily for yourself.
Admitediately my barner. I can't really cook. She's like to take cooking. Is that your cooking? Lesnses going there? Well, people tell me what to do, you know what I mean. I don't have that. Like quite often there will be chefs that also volunteer, and so they'll get in there go then needs a bit assault and I'm like, yeah, that's that's what I thought. Because I'm very bad at it, and so She's like, you can't cook for us, but you cook for them. I don't know. We all have
our strengths. We all have our strengths. We'll do our own things. Oh man, all right, well, thanks so much for coming on mate, Absolute pleasure.
It's so good stories. A lot of the travel stories are awesome. I feel like we need to riff on this a bit more, but allan sty thanks so much for coming on mate. I want to shout out to the seven platforms.
So we are Apple, Spotify, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram. Check us all out and check out Dave on his platforms. And what is your user name? Dave underscore Thorno. So get that on the Instagram. You get that onto, I said the Instagram. The Insta makes you sound like an old man, you know. TikTok all that the meta yeah, the metaverse. Yeah, just get onto it. There for all stand up content and any touring details that I have. Beautiful,
well too easy. Thanks so much for going on, and hopefully we get to catch up in soon