Everybody has their own difficulties apart from the life that they are showing us. Even if I personally know how it is, because I am getting close to people in another level, I still cannot help thinking that I am not as good, and I'm just lazy, and I'm a failure, and other people are all Hi,
this is the Marketing Meeting and I'm your host Itir Eraslan. Every two weeks I meet with experts and we talk about topics related to brands, marketing and businesses. And we sometimes add random lifestyle topics too. I hope you enjoy the show. Welcome to the Marketing Meeting Podcast. Today a part of the discussion is directly linked to marketing because we're going to talk about human brain psychology. Uh, but some of the parts will not be linked to marketing at all.
So I convinced the best psychiatrist in the world to join me on the show today. She's not only the best psychiatrist, but she's the best sister in the world as well. Welcome. My sister Defne Eraslan is on the show today. So can you tell people what you do? Well, they know that you're a psychiatrist, but where you work and the areas that you focus on a lot.
Yes, I work, I'm at the moment in Germany at a hospital. Uh, I'm originally from Turkey, like you. I have done my associates. professorship and my cognitive behavior therapist education in Turkey. I'm a psychiatrist, cognitive behavior therapist. I have worked in the pharma industry and I am especially interested in mood disorders, ADHD, and women's health.
So we are entering the last month of 2024. So we are recording towards the end of November, almost December. People usually start putting goals, resolutions at this time. Uh, however, I'm putting goals to myself till the end of the year. Meaning that's okay. The things that I need to accomplish till the new year comes and one of that goal is also to put the goals for 2025. Could you please advise if this is healthy? Well, I
think it makes sense to plan. We know that a new year is an arbitrary time point in our lives, but I think, you know, reflecting on the time before and thinking of the time ahead is a good idea. If, of course, if you don't Set your goals too high. If you're not stressed with the things that you didn't accomplish. If you are doing that with a positive perspective, What did I manage to do? Instead of, uh, what did I not manage to do? I think it's a good thing to reflect and plan.
And New Year's are usually the best time to do that.
For example, for myself, I'm whenever I put goals, it's almost like, although I learned that I should be putting realistic goals, but it's almost like it can never be achievable around that period of time. For me, it's like putting unrealistic goals is what I do. I think that's a family illness. You are like that too?
Yes, of course.
Okay. What are some Mistakes that we do people do or your patients do when they are putting goals for themselves
Yes, the most important one is uh, not having a realistic goals or planning too much Just the other day one of my friends said, you know, I I said did a lot this week and I am at least not behind my schedule and I said to him, uh, yeah, I'm always behind my schedule because if I'm able to do things faster than I can, then I plan too much. So I'm always falling behind, which causes stress.
So actually planning too much and being too optimistic about the things we could do and how we could use the time before us is one of the mistakes that is done quite often. And of course, we all have our own problems, uh, things that make life difficult. Difficult for us. Sometimes we are doing it in an optimistic way, and we don't change our expectations according to what we are going through.
Sometimes we plan something, but something else comes along, which is quite important, or maybe not important, but, you know, inescapable. But we still think that we have to reach the goals that we set. Uh, before this disaster happened or the stressful thing happened, I think that's one of the things, you know, it's not setting realistic goals, thinking that the time we have before us is quite long and not being able to be flexible when we have other problems.
It's one of the reasons that goals are stressful for most of the people.
Do you have some techniques or some recommendations for people that are constantly putting unrealistic goals? Because for me, I know that I always set unrealistic goals that I will never be able to achieve a hundred percent of that. What's the solution to that?
First of all, uh, you have to ask yourself why you have to do that. Are you not realistic? Or do you need two big goals to motivate yourself? So try to understand the reasons to that. And of course it makes sense to plan things, uh, as steps. You know, I, I want to at least do this and this is the first step to do that. And then if I'm able to do that, this is the next step. And then I will change my plan in the future if I am not going the right way. So it makes sense to plan like small steps.
that are following each other. I think that's the best way to set up a realistic goals apart from understanding and challenging why you are not setting up realistic goals in the first place.
I'm going to move on to the multitasking and efficiency topic because I think Everyone in the world is talking about efficiency and there are like hundreds of efficiency apps and it feels to me that everyone except me is efficient and I'm not.
Yes, I think if you only see the shiny parts of people's lives. And it is proven that consuming too much social media results in low self esteem, uh, depressive mood, uh, more anxiety. You know, this is more clear in young people, but actually Overall, it's the reality. Uh, although we all know that, you know, the life in the social media, uh, is not the real life that people are living.
Uh, we, we see the best parts of, uh, people's lives, and then we compare it with something that we, that we don't see. ourselves only see. So we know how difficult our life is. Uh, sometimes we are lazy, sometimes we don't have the energies, but we see only the productive part of people's lives. And sometimes they are really lying or exaggerating. And sometimes they are just It's telling part of the truth.
And of course, although it is known to us, we know that what we are posting is the bright side of our lives. But still we compare the worst of us with the best of other people, which makes us of course, jealous. Reduces our self esteem. It seems, you know, this fear off missing out. It seems everyone else is able to do lots of good things. And we are not, you know, I as a psychiatrist, of course, have been able to see the other side. of that equation.
I have seen, you know, famous people, rich people, successful people, um, you know, having problems in their lives. But still, as somebody who knows the difficulties in everybody's life, it is not easy for me to believe that, you know, These people are, you know, they are producing great stuff. I'm not saying that people should stop producing great stuff in social media, but there's a cost to it. And there's some work behind it.
And everybody has their own difficulties apart from the life that they are showing us. Even if I. personally know how it is because I am, you know, getting close to, uh, people in another level. I, I still cannot help, uh, thinking that, uh, I am not, As good and I'm just lazy and I'm a failure and Other people are all making it great. So that's the difficulty with social media and to Change it because of this feeling we want to be effective.
We want to use our 24 hours in the most efficient way, but this causes lots of problems. This causes multitasking and this causes the opposite of mindfulness. But I think we will get to that on our way.
The thing is, what you say is that as a psychiatrist, you know, this other side of the medal and you know, that these people, that these shiny lights that we've seen actually also had, Non shiny parts to it as well. But still you also get sometimes jealous, sometimes stressed that you are not doing too much. So what is the solution to that? I mean, like, is it that we just close social media or like, or moderate it or what's the solution that you suggest to your patients?
Yes, of course, limiting social media is one of the solutions. And, uh, you know, constantly reminding ourselves that people all have their own difficulties is one of the solutions. And I think one of the biggest things is, okay, these people are doing that. But is this important for me? Is this what I want to do? We decide what we want to do on our way. So, uh, we should be.
clearer about the things we personally want to do, not the things that we want to show other people or not the things that the other people have done that actually don't fit us. So I think it's the best New Year's or new quarter resolutions. They are the ones about thinking what we would like to do, what is missing in our lives and not comparing ourselves to other people, Doing the things that we want more in our lives.
I would like to move to mental disorders because we know that it's important to find the signs for ourselves if we have a mental disorder or not also or for the people that we love. What are some of the warning signs, uh, of a mental health disorder? Of course, there are so many of them out there, but some specific ones that we need to pay attention to.
Actually, I think it makes sense to, uh, Think of the classical definition of disorder. Psychiatry is a very, uh, specific area. Uh, for example, if somebody has got cancer, they either have it or not. Or we have cutoff points, for example, for diabetes, for anemia. We know how, uh, other disorders. Of course, psychiatry is a disorder of the body because brain is a part of our body.
But, um, in psychiatry, it is not easy to decide if something is a disorder or it is just the difficulty that somebody is having or as a personality trait, for example, things like anxiety, sadness, happiness. Or, you know, attention deficit. These are all things that make us human. These are all parts of our lives, and these are normal to some degree. Somebody can be sad after an event in their lives.
So the difference between a disorder and a symptom in psychiatry is defined by how much difficulty it is causing in somebody's life, how much it is putting their functionality at risk. So, of course, this is something difficult and it is not just what the person sees. Sometimes the person thinks it's normal. He or she is perfect, but it might cause a difficulty in their lives, for example.
So, uh, the difference between some symptoms that we all have and a disorder that needs treatment therapy, pharmacological therapy, psychotherapy is the amount of distress it causes and the amount of problems it causes in the functionality.
So you mean that the portion that it affects the life negatively is a sign already, but for example, some of the times just like everyone else, we get set and how can I understand that it's a depression? Yeah. rather than just feeling down.
So, uh, the classical definition for depression is, I think that's a good example because we all feel sad. Uh, but in order to diagnose a depression, there are nine signs of Depression in DSM, the American Manual for Psychiatric Disorders, and you have to have five of them. One of them has to be a depressive mood and not enjoying the things that you had to enjoy. You have to have them at least two weeks, most of the day, and it shouldn't be related to a very sad event like a loss.
It shouldn't be related to illness, uh, like a thyroid illness or another illness in the body. So, uh, that's the definition of depression. So we, we have some time limitations, how many symptoms that somebody has and how much of the day these symptoms take. So that is one of the clearest definitions actually.
For example, a friend of mine had a rash. She has been scratching herself for like almost two weeks. She went to all the doctors to check everything, if she has like a parasites or whatever, and there was nothing at all. And then she was like saying, I think this is It's completely mental. I should see, I should see your sister.
Is there also, is there like things like that, you know, that we don't know, like, of course sleep disorders, probably another sign of a depression, but is there like those type of things like you? You have a rash and you scratch yourself a lot and so on. Yes.
You know, they are, uh, it doesn't have to be, uh, relates to a depression, but we know that lots of bodily disorders have got something to do with psychological conditions. It just doesn't need to be depression. But of course, that was logical disorders, gastroenterological disorders, you know, pain disorders, they are the disorders that are mostly related to with psychological things.
That's why I always have a good relationship with dermatologists and gastroenterologists because we really have things in common. It's not just, of course, there's something in the body that makes it possible to have a dermatological condition, but stress, you know, just makes it more possible. This doesn't mean that she has a psychological diagnosis, but maybe if she has stress, this might make her, uh, dermatological condition more possible.
When do we need the medication for psychiatry? Okay. For example, someone gets cancer and they say, okay, it's because that you just made things worse in your life and your mind is causing you this cancer type of thing. Yes. I'm very angry with that. Okay. My, because I mean like a lot of things they say, I mean, also even with my, with my friend who has a rash, I'm telling to her, I mean, maybe you should see a psychiatrist now because it's your mind that is causing this problem.
There is like this tendency to. tell to people that we are causing the problem that we are facing. Either it's going to be like a stomach problem or a stress disorder or whatever. Uh, what's your take on this?
Yes, that's really interesting because on one hand, You know, this thing about, you know, sending, uh, you know, these messages to the universe and you are calling your own in this. So there's this psychological approach that we are causing our bodily problems, which are really clear, like cancer. So we are responsible. And on the other hand, there is a tendency. of not treating psychiatric disorders or not believing in psychiatric disorders. So this is really a dilemma.
So, um, nobody can just cause cancer because they are stressed about things. They are feeling guilty about things. And people have told me, for example, breast cancer is actually you being in conflict with your womanhood. Things like that. So I am really angry about that. I am really angry that people with cancer, with diabetes, with all the, you know, bodily problems are, uh, apart from the stress that they are living in their lives, they are also being treated.
push to feel guilty, uh, about these illnesses. Of course we have a responsibility. We shouldn't push ourselves too much. It would be great if we, you know, saw our stress then try to do something about it. But I think this is cool that, uh, you know, we think that we are able to cause everything with our minds. No, we are not. No, we are not. There are illnesses.
Of course, they are made, uh, they are more available and we are under more risk, uh, if we have stress, but even if we are the most, uh, you know, calm person, we could have cancer and gastroenterologic problems and dermatologic problems, although they are also, you know, they have, uh, psychiatric components as well. As I've said, on the other hand, uh, that's the same thing.
People, uh, think that when you have an obsessive compulsive disorder, when you have ADHD, even more, uh, even worse, you know, if you have schizophrenia, people, uh, think that you could just, you know, uh, beat these problems. Uh, without your own willpower, which although, you know, in depression, willpower is destroyed because the parts of the body that are, you know, able to create willpower are not working. So, and then you just say, Okay.
You know, get over with it and then pull yourself together. And, you know, they are not able to do that. They are not able to wash the, you know, the comb their, uh, hair. So, I am really, uh, thinking that, uh, this approach to psychiatric disorders is really cruel. And then this psychiatric approach to Other bodily illnesses
is also very
cruel.
I'm really angry with that. So you, you mentioned that there is like a chemical, uh, thing that's happening in our brains that is not letting us even comb our hair.
Yes, it's a chemical problem because, you know, our nerve cells, they interact with chemical and electrical impulses. And it's not just our brain. So, uh, think of it as, you know, our brain, uh, our old stress system. And, uh, now there are also very interesting, uh, things about our gastrointestinal system that is causing, uh, some of our, uh, or helping with some of our psychiatric problems.
So, it's a problem, but it's not, uh, Clear as other medical problems because brain is a very complicated organ and the hormonal system is very complicated They are functional problems. So sometimes you can see them. We know that in end states Schizophrenia, there are changes in the brain that we really can't see in the MRI or in chronic depression There are parts of the brain that are shrinking, but usually it is not more functional.
So it's about the chemistry and electricity, and it didn't have the real means to see that until the last couple of decades. So because we cannot see it, we think that this has got to do with willpower. There are all kinds of You know, cults, uh, like Scientology and all the stuff that say that psychiatry just doesn't exist and psychiatric illnesses just don't exist. Of course, there are people who medicalize everything and put a diagnosis on everything that's the other part of it.
But psychiatry does exist. disorders are bodily disorders. Of course, you can do things about psychiatric disorders with your willpower. If you can, you have that willpower. Think of it like diabetes, actually. So when you have diabetes, You know, there are things that you can change, like your lifestyle, how much sugar you eat, how much exercise you do. But there are things, even if you do all of the things, at some point you might need, uh, medication or insulin.
That's the same thing about psychiatry. I think diabetes is the you know, quite equal to psychiatric problems. Of course, there are things that you can do, but sometimes you just have to take the medication. And, and it hurts me because I know that, you know, there are people sometimes, you know, I'm a therapist as well. And to be clear, if somebody doesn't make any medication, I earn more money through therapies because it goes away, um, in a longer time sometimes.
So I'm somebody who gives, uh, medications and who does psychotherapy. And I think that's the best approach. Uh, but sometimes I see people that are struggling over the years and then, you know, they, they don't want to take medications, but I see how much they could benefit from them. You know, there are people who just need psychotherapy, that's clear.
Uh, and of course it hurts me, you know, although I'm doing the therapy and we are, you know, doing baby steps, but I sometimes think, okay, it could have been better if I just, was able to prescribe. Um, you know, I've been in psychiatry since 25 years now. I have always had these patients or clients that come and say, life is completely different. Why did I wait for years to take this medication? So because of that, uh, you know, I'm really angry about this.
power game and, uh, about this prejudice about psychiatric disorders. But it's the case, unfortunately. I think
there, there is a, people confuse, I mean, we confuse things about like brain and mind, you know, as if they're like, Mind different, a different thing.
Of course. And so, uh, of course not, uh, there's a great book I would, uh, recommend. It's the cards failure. So actually, uh, in the. Old age. People thought that there's a spirit on there's the body. So there's this dualism in which the body and the mind were different things. Now we know that You know, all of the things about our mind are just functions of our body, you know, mainly our Brain, of course, but not just our brain that we are learning as well.
So everything that we feel just It just happens here and a little bit down under. So, uh, you know, this dualist approach is of course, uh, what makes everything difficult about psychiatry, but, uh, the more we have, uh, you know, techniques to see these changes in the brain function and the more we are able to make diseases better through therapy and psychopharmacology, I think it will change. You know, we shouldn't forget that.
You know, 50, 60 years ago, people just couldn't treat schizophrenia and people had to be living in, you know, hospitals for all of their lives. The very old film Awakenings from Robin Williams is about that thing. So, When you compare it to now, you know, people with schizophrenia just going on with their lives with some difficulties, I think we have gone quite a long way. And as we move along and then help people, I think it will be better with this prejudice.
And a friend of mine from LinkedIn, because I posted about that, I'm going to interview a psychiatrist today. And I asked if you have any questions. And he said that, will there ever be a time that humans will again become less dependent on professional psychological aid and support? And to what extent does she believe people around us can successfully fulfill that role?
And he also said that he also believed that the need for psychological aid should never be normalized, considered something natural or normal.
There's something that I agree with, uh, with them, uh, which is, I always hear from people, you know, when they learn that I'm a psychiatrist, they say, Oh, okay, we all need psychiatrists. Of course, this is not the case, psychiatrists or psychologists. Um, normally people, when they are going through difficulties, they don't necessarily need a psychiatrist or psychologist.
But of course, um, when you talk about things with your friends, they are not neutral and they don't know the techniques, uh, that could help you effectively. So, um, Of course, in the best world, in which we didn't have to be too productive, and we had all the time to spend with our social relationships. And in the best, uh, world in which all of the people around us are very rational and giving us good advice, people with psychiatric disorders would go on needing psychologists.
But maybe other people with difficulties in their lives just could go on with that. I agree with them. You know, I don't think that everybody needs a psychiatrist or psychologist. But, uh, I think that, you know, discussing things with a psychologist at some point in your life, you know, just helps you, um, decide or go on with your decisions. It's easier. So I don't think it's a big deal. Uh, I, I don't think that we should, uh, make it seem so high or so low.
I think, um, that if somebody thinks they need it, they could just try it. And then when they try it and then they have solved their problems, they don't need to go on with that.
Yeah. Uh, I'll move on to ADHD and focus. Uh, because, uh, that's a, you know, it seems that everybody around us has ADHD. Uh, how can I know if I have ADHD or am I just distracted?
Yes. Uh, so it's the same thing actually. So if it causes a significant problem, and if you have it more than other people around you, uh, then you should think of, you know, checking it. Uh, there's a great book about, it's called The Stolen Focus. And, uh, we know that, you know, uh, the new world with social media, And, uh, all of the distractions from electronic devices and all the algorithms that are really competing for our attention is making us inattentive. That's clear.
Everybody has got an attention problem at this point because we have so much input from the outside. And there's also, as you said in the beginning of this talk, you know, there's Too wanna achieve. So there's also too much input from the inside, uh, uh, as aims. Uh, so, uh, it's not easy to, uh, be attentive, uh, at this time. This is something that we all, uh, this doesn't have to have a diagnosis or this doesn't have to be treated with medication.
But on the other hand, uh, uh, there are people that, uh, have. Just not being diagnosed for all of their lives and that have, uh, really suffered because of their ADHD Since their childhood. I am working in a clinic in Germany who is specialized in ADHD and autism and You cannot believe how much good treatment changes in people's lives.
So, you know, these are people that come to us with a depression, for example, or a social phobia, and their life is, you know, a story of failures and broken relationships, uh, problems in their lives because of their impulsivity. And depression is actually you know, the result of all of these frustrations they have. Uh, and then when you diagnose it, people are actually, you know, uh, they feel a relief. Okay. There's a reason for all, all of the things that I lived. So it wasn't me.
I wasn't lazy. I wasn't unmotivated. I just had ADHD. So, um, so it's a point where they stop, you know, feeling guilty about that. or they didn't achieve. So, um, there's one group of people who just, you know, self diagnosed with ADHD because it's the cool thing to do, to be neurodivergent, to have autism, to have ADHD. On the other hand, there are all of these suffering people.
And most of them are women, by the way, who have been feeling Uh, not very clever, not, uh, hardworking because they had a problem with their attention. So we really have to make a balance with these two tendencies, you know, this tendency to over diagnose, but this risk of, uh, under diagnosis actually in the last couple of decades. So when it's really a disorder, you cannot miss it and then you really get good results. It's life changing. Do you do tests
on that, like ADHD tests?
Of course. There are clinical tests. You know, you just ask some clinical questions in order to diagnose ADHD, by the way, you have to prove that these problems, uh, about hyperactivity or, uh, attention deficit, they were already there as they were kids. And it was more comparison to other kids. For example, there are things like, Uh, not liking to do homework or forgetting your things at school. You know, that's something that all kids do.
But the question is, did you have that more than other kids? So there are clinical interviews and tests. And, uh, usually you can diagnose it with these clinical interviews and tests with the symptoms. Uh, we sometimes ask for actually the notes, uh, from the teachers from, uh, primary school. Sometimes, for example, in Germany, uh, teachers, uh, write about the child in a paragraph. It's not just the notes, but the things that the teacher said about this kid.
We talk with the parents if they are available. Uh, and then there are also tests, neurocognitive tests that are made in the computer, uh, that support that. But you don't need those tests to diagnose ADHD. Uh, but they, they are also supportive. Sometimes you see that. That person has ADHD or ADD, similar problems with attention, you know, impulsivity and things like that.
What's the solution? Are there like medical treatments and also combined with other techniques that you can apply to your life? Yes,
yes, you know, the practical things. Are very important. Even if you decide to have treatments, there are treatments and really
treatments, right?
Medical treatments. And that are usually abused, actually, uh, from college students, uh, at the moment, uh, because, you know, they are stimulants, uh, they, uh, work in a different way in people with ADHD. So, uh, there's a huge group of college students or intellectuals that are just abusing these, uh, ADHD treatments. Uh, like drugs actually, uh, but of course, even if you have, uh, treatments, uh, it's very important to arrange your life.
And I think, uh, with the, uh, amount of attention problems that we all have, even if we don't have the diagnosis, I think it's necessary and it's useful actually to, uh, think of these practical things that we have to arrange in our lives. What type of practical things usually work? Uh, of course the, the problem with people with ADHD, ADD and the modern person is that they, they want to multitask.
So multitasking, uh, is, you know, uh, considered to be a strength, but it is actually something that is a big, big problem for our attention. For example, they say it as a strength for women, but we know that multitasking makes your attention verse. That's very clear. Everybody has got problems with multitasking. So that is multitasking, doing more than one thing at the same time, at the same time.
So women, women have got less problems, but they still have big problems as they are multitasking. So we ask them to, you know, focus on things, reduce distractions, And, uh, try to do one thing at a time to prioritize and to have realistic expectations. That's the thing that we talked about. So, uh, you know, ADHD people are very curious. people, people that are a DD, they are, uh, very curious. They are really open to new ideas, their mind, and when they have something new, they go all in.
Very focused, right? So that's some they are, that's the, so-called, uh, hyper focus actually. You know, uh, when something is interesting, they are really focused and they can do. You know, uh, lots of work in a very short, that's the thing, and that's the reason why, uh, ADHD, uh, or ADD has survived in human society.
Because, if you choose the right work, uh, if you choose the right tasks, uh, as an ADD person, you, you are really, able to succeed actually, uh, as long as, uh, you are interested and motivated, but the thing is that something is not that new. They just lose that attention. And then the person, uh, who just did lots of things, unexpectable things, uh, like this very easily, just isn't able to do the last thing that is needed because it's boring.
So, but, you know, before the, this diagnosis and this medications, actually people with ADD have managed to survive and actually also even, you know, thrive in work, uh, you know, finding some network, uh, some supporters. and techniques to control their motivation. Um, but the thing is, Life is not just, you know, interesting things. Work life is not just interesting things. So if you just do lots of things because they are interesting, uh, at some points you are exhausted.
That's something that causes the burnout that receiving people with ADHD. So it's really. It's important to, uh, know, uh, what is too much and, uh, to put, uh, borders and, you know, to manage your expectations. Uh, that's one of the things that we suggest to do. people with ADHD.
So, I mean, let's say the things that they, they really like and they can really focus, they just do that. But for example, for the things that are boring, that are hard to do, that they don't have too much of, uh, patience, what, what's the solution to that? Or they just do the things that they like to do. I
don't know. Yeah, if their life could just be like that, Yeah. So, of course, the thing is, there are very lucky people who have who just do interesting things. But, you know, this doesn't count for all of us. So, because of that, there are techniques like that, you know, trying to limit, you know, your day, trying to program your day, doing the easy but boring tasks at a limited time, you know, trying to solve them just like that. And then of course, outsourcing is very important.
Collaborating with other people, uh, is very important or feeling responsible for other people is very important. But the thing is, uh, people with, uh, attention deficit, whether it's an illness or not, they don't know where to stop. So the thing is doing one thing at a time, if possible, and then making, finishing it, and then going on to the other thing, if possible. So limiting yourself, knowing your, uh, where to stop, it's very important. You know, that's the thing that we all have to do.
What is important for me? Uh, if this is important for me. then even if it's boring, I go on doing that. But of course, I need to eliminate things that are boring and not useful. Then if I can, I should outsource them or try to finish them very practically so that they don't block my way. A
friend of mine asked, I have a focus problem, and if she has a hack. So
the hack is doing, putting off your phone and doing one thing at a time. That's just like,
so we're not going to listen to a podcast when we are trying to do sports or trying to cook.
I mean, if, if you're just walking, for example, you can just listen to a podcast. That's great. For example, I used to do that as well. Because, you know, I'm, I'm a mother who is, you know, trying to survive in a new country and psychiatry to do the psychiatry in a new language, especially when that language is German. It's not easy, but, uh, you also, you know, you have expectations from yourself. You don't want your life to be just, you know, cooking and washing and then going to work.
So I used to do that, uh, you know, after a day of, you know, Making psychotherapy in German, uh, I would come home and then put on my headphones and then, uh, at the same time, you know, cook, for example, or, uh, go, go walking. But then I realized that, of course, that, that satisfied something in me. Because I was feeling more effective and I was feeling like me. For example, yesterday I went, uh, for a walk in the forest and I did it, but I was relaxed and it was fun to do.
But, for example, if I want to do it on a day that I'm exhausted, you know, I'm trying to cook, the kids are asking something, and then I have to stop the podcast over and over again because it's a challenging subject, then it makes me more tired.
Yeah. And then you just want to,
you know, somebody, somebody, somebody says something to me. I'm like, so the thing is there are times that we can multitask, for example, you know, listening to a podcast that we find interesting as we are working, that's great. But if I am doing it at a time when I just need relaxation and I need. to come down. I'm just overstimulating myself. That's counteractive. So we have to find a balance between that.
One last thing that I want to ask, because that's always a discussion between me and friends, you know, monitoring stress and reducing stress. So some people use weed and CBD. like most of my friends, they are using it because they say that, okay, it's the natural thing. Instead of using a psychiatric pill, I'm using the sweet or CBD every night so that I'm relaxed. I don't have any anxiety. It's a natural thing. I'm going to do that. What's your perspective? You are, you are
really hitting points. That could, uh, you know, trigger me to talk for hours and
hours. I mean, yeah, maybe we can take like five minutes on this topic and then maybe do another episode on that. Of
course, coming down and being less stressed is something good. And we think that need is something natural. Uh, and because of that, it doesn't hurt us, but you know, there are lots of, uh, toxins that could make us drop dead in seconds that are natural or botanical. So that something is made from a natural source doesn't mean that it is not risky and it doesn't health. So there's this CBD parts.
If we want to make it very simple in cannabis, uh, this weed, there's the CBD part, which really, uh, helps, uh, with coming down, uh, and it's available, uh, actually just as the CBD. And there are some studies that are going on. To show that it might really help with anxiety and sleep. Yes. But there's this THC part, which is at the, the same last years becoming more and more and more, uh, which makes you addictive, which might cause anxiety, which might cause psychosis.
So, uh, there's a useful part and there's the activating and problematic part.
It's about CBD, right? You are talking about like No, CBD
is inside cannabis, this weed. So the problem is, uh, in the last 10, 15 years, The ratio of THC to CBD has risen. So, the weed that people are consuming at this time isn't the weed that people were consuming in the 1960s. That one was really more And this one is, uh, more addictive. This might one might cause more stress and might cause even psychosis, especially when you do it too much and in an early age.
And the thing is, I have seen many people, of course, I, I, I know that there are people who just. consume feed, uh, regularly and nothing happens. They are the happy, uh, you know, group, but, uh, apart from this risk of panic attacks and psychosis, that really is dangerous. I also see an evolution of syndrome, uh, which just, you know, you know, reduces your motivation to succeed more in life.
So, you know, the type of person who just, you know, doesn't care about things, who just finds everything unnecessary and, uh, just goes on smoking weed and doing nothing. That is a fact. And that is one of the biggest problems. Uh, so of course, as I've said, if you find CBD and It helps you, it could be, but thinking that something is not dangerous because it's natural is a big, big mistake, I think. There are lots of other ways to calm down, you know.
at least apart from the wheat, one should think of the other ways to calm down because of, uh, the risks of cognitive risks and this evolutional syndrome risk with CPT.
I used to have like a discussion with a young person. person who was saying that, I mean, it's better to smoke weeds compared to taking an alcohol because alcohol is something that is very bad for your body. It's like, it's bad for your liver and so on. It's better to take weed because it's completely natural. Uh, whereas especially Alcohol is also
completely natural. It's made of grapes. So when you think about it, it's also natural. There's synthetic alcohol coming, but it doesn't come at all. The alcohol is natural. Then why don't we drink alcohol? Because we know that is, uh, you know, nicotine is also natural. It's, it is the one most important reason for death in our societies. So, uh, so that's arguments that, that is bullshit to finish with this, uh, you know, thing. But anyway,
do you ever diagnose your friends or family at the coffee table or dinner table? I try not to. Or your family members, do they do that to you? Yeah. You cannot
take any diagnosis from me. You know, the best compliment that I get from my best friends. Uh, you know, I have a girls group from high school and another, uh, person who's a friend but not a close one just asked, told them, Uh, so you are very lucky you have Daphne and she analyzes everything and she's your psychiatrist. And then my friend said, No, Daphne Just not a psychiatrist or a psychologist. This is just a normal person, uh, when we are talking to each other.
That's, that's really what I really want to do, uh, all my life. I really try to So not to be a psychiatrist in my personal life, of course, it changes how you look at things. You know, my husband is a psychiatrist as well. So we try not to analyze things. We try not to use our psychiatric skills or diagnosis in our discussions, arguments. So we really try to do that. But sometimes, of course, we feel things. Try to keep them separate. This is not an easy task.
Yeah, I know. But I still sometimes get angry with you if you sometimes act like a psychiatrist. Like asking open ended, which, why do you think like that? I'm just like, don't, don't behave like a psychiatrist to me. You're my sister. Yes, yes. But you do it only like just a couple of times. That's it. Yes.
And if people just DM me, I can, uh, tell them your diagnosis.
Okay. My diagnosis. Oh, yes, you're right. What's your diagnosis for me? Just tell me in a few words, , what's my problem?
Well, uh, I think that you're, uh, maybe sometimes too perfectionistic, uh, which, uh, makes your, uh, what you produce great. Uh, of course, like your podcasts and, uh, your, the work you do in marketing, but sometimes it, uh, it, it makes you tired. Uh, that's, that's one of the diagnosis that, uh, makes your work wonderful, but your life difficult.
Okay. Thank you so much. And you can also tell openly that I'm better than you. Which is a fact, yeah.
Of course, of course, it's a fact.
Thank you so much for joining me and we might do another, uh, episode about some other topics like about the suite, or I was going to ask you if, if left and right brain things are working or so on.
But anyway, I'm, I'd be happy to do that.
Okay. What's your favorite cafe place in Germany so that we can go there together when I come over?
Well, uh, there are some in Berlin, but the one that I really go to is not that much of a cool place, but I like it very much. It's, it's a flower shop, uh, and a cafe near my children's, uh, gymnasium school, high school. It's called Blumen Betz.
That I like very much. Okay, and one final thing. What's one book that you would suggest to people, although you suggested one book, which is the Stolen Focus. Is there any other book that you suggest to people?
Determination. Determines, uh, from Polsky. It's, uh, it's, it's actually, you know, talking about how our willpower is not just the thing that, that defines our lives, which I find very important, determined from, uh, Polsky.
Okay. I'm gonna read that one. Yes. And I'm looking forward to having that coffee in blue and bets soon, in 15 days. Yes. Thank you so much.