Good morning and welcome to this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, you're very welcome. Make yourselves comfortable. This time around, Pete kicks off proceedings by furnishing us with some Japanese pornographic film titles translated into English. It's actually funnier than you'd expect. After that we take in subjects as diverse as Duran Duran, saving animals from extinction, Ian Botham and, in an unrelated matter, hear from a listener with arguably the best Dad ever. To get in touch and expand...
Aug 27, 2018•33 min
This time around, we hear from a listener who became involved in an ill-advised tete-a-tete with The Shield's Kenny Johnson, with quite spectacular results, learn of the tallest free-standing structure in the UK (Hint: It's not in London), and marvel at a truly horrific tree surgery injury. Meanwhile, there's Tony Hawk, storm chasing, frontmen with the best mic skills and much, much more. All packed into a commuting-friendly half hour. What more can you ask for, eh? To get in touch: hello@lukean...
Aug 23, 2018•35 min
Congratulations on your download! Your all-new Luke and Pete Show will contain the following: White Chocolate Chicken Shops Fish n Chips Sweaty Armpits How to assemble a band for a wedding Warning: Results may vary, do not listen to while operating heavy machinery. To prescribe us a higher dose: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to...
Aug 20, 2018•32 min
As promised, Pete delivers (sort of) on his Conspiracy Theory Special chat from shows gone by. What we mean by that is that he found a list of them in a magazine and would quite like to read them out. And the excitement only ramps up from there - in the second half of the show both Luke and Pete get tucked in to a tube of space food that their pal brought back from Russia. I mean, they have to translate the label first, but it can't be that bad can it? To send us into space, or give us any ideas...
Aug 16, 2018•30 min
Finally, finally, FINALLY, Pilot Neil returns. We don't know where he's been or what he's been doing but the most important thing is that he's back. We weren't angry, just disappointed. Also on your all-new edition of The Luke and Pete Show - tales from Bruges, the most beautiful/perverted city in Belgium, pinball machines, elaborate record packaging and the time Pete was attacked by a police dog for no reason. Can you tell we don't plan these in advance? We also took the time to get through a f...
Aug 13, 2018•32 min
Howdy everyone! We're back in our respective saddles and looking to artfully waste another half an hour of everyones' time with some more pith and nonsense. Huzzah! Pete's been to Korea and so joyfully regales us with tales of his travels, including of course the eating of octopus. A textbook Korean pursuit if ever there was one. Elsewhere, there's plenty of your emails including job interview chat, a laugh spared for Alex Jones' latest woes, and Pete wonders whatever happened to that most stalw...
Aug 09, 2018•33 min
The Luke and The Pete are getting to the age where they need to think about going grey and what that means for them. Apparently, Anthony Kiedis of Red Hot Chili Peppers takes affirmative action on that front. Who knew? Also, there's a revisiting of the 'posh people getting angry' trope, and we discover (via a listener) a man who can literally make a sharp knife out of just about anything at all, including clothing and pasta. Incredible really. Steer our conversations any way you choose: hello@lu...
Aug 06, 2018•28 min
A police helicopter has been keeping Luke from watching TV. Pete's more interested in those little finger trick skateboards you used to get back in the day. What were they called? Did you ever become good at using one? If so, let us know. Meanwhile, we hear of a man who died by having a tortoise dropped on his bald head, and another, separate, man who had a rum old time working as Liam Neeson's stand in on a Martin Scorsese movie. Yes, really. Have you ever worked with Marty? Let us know! Even i...
Aug 02, 2018•30 min
Rejoice at the return of your favourite podcast featuring two men that know nothing about anything talking for half an hour. Pete's been to the seaside, and this time he managed to avoid getting sunburnt! He celebrates by talking for a bit about pants. We then move on to the well-trodden subjects of haircuts, how much one should pay, and finish off with a good dose of British awkwardness, something both Luke and Pete know very well. There's time before we go to hear two incredible stories too - ...
Jul 30, 2018•33 min
Why is Sir Paul McCartney so odd? And, while we're at it, why is Ringo Starr also so odd? Any advice greatly appreciated. This time around, we break bread over the differences between the Japanese and Korean languages, marvel at possibly the worst job interview experience of all time, hear a Mencarta, and find out that, in the 70s, people that used to go door-to-door selling spider monkeys. Yes, really. To tell us of your worst ever job interview experiences, or anything else for that matter: he...
Jul 26, 2018•30 min
We start this episode as every podcast should begin - with Tom Jones impressions. After that we keep up the music theme by finding out that Pete has been hobnobbing with Franz Ferdinand's Alex Kapranos and bonding with him over Graceland. Once we finally get past the name-drop section of the show there's time for an email from Brunei, some more weird baby names, a discussion about LiveJasmine, some more Jurassic Park chat and much, much more courtesy of you, the lovely listener. What ho! Join us...
Jul 23, 2018•32 min
Tune in this time around for Luke and Pete reminiscing about puncture repair kits, before marvelling at how strange and unreliable the passing of time and capturing of memories can be. Don't worry though, we get on to much more firm and familiar ground shortly after that as Pete waxes lyrical about how he hates leg day at the gym. What's more, you beautiful listeners step up to the plate with tales of Don King, ejecting from a jet in the middle of a thunderstorm, and much, much more. Don't miss ...
Jul 19, 2018•33 min
We start today's proceedings by talking about a one hour documentary on Japanese trains, including men fashioning a light fitting 'the old fashioned way', whatever that means. It's not as boring as it sounds though, and before you know it we've moved on to camel urine anyway, so that's a plus. Elsewhere on your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, there's more sodium-based tom foolery, actors that didn't act more than once and a big end-of-show finale as Pete attempts a physical and mental...
Jul 16, 2018•31 min
We open proceedings this time around with a tale about a stork that ended up costing a charity a £2000 phone bill, and things get slowly more bizarre from there. The two main takeaways are, well, er, takeaways and names it is absolutely impossible to call a baby in 2018. We round this entire derring-do off with a good look at Jackass-inspired injuries and how they're not particularly conducive to enjoying yourself at a music festival. What ho! Indulge us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take...
Jul 12, 2018•32 min
We think it's episode 79, but we're not sure, and Pete is still sunburnt. It's his own fault. It's sent him a bit mad, and one minute we're discussing new show ideas, and the next we're talking about bringing a different animal into the studio every week. Heady stuff. On today's show we solve the great Cadbury's discontinued chocolate bar riddle, find out about eggs that haven't had a shell formed around them, waste pipes, Two Fat Ladies, and a horrible shit who almost blew up his entire school....
Jul 09, 2018•29 min
Straight off the bat, The Pete is accusing The Luke of wearing Bermuda shorts, an accusation that shouldn't be taking lightly. After that we hear of Peter Crouch and a kids' illusion that confuses The Pete to this day. There's time for actors that have appeared in one movie and then never again, the pleasing sound of things hitting bald mens' heads, and another love letter to Anthony Bourdain. And make sure you stick around for a Pete Donaldson special story about a blocked drain and a shower cu...
Jul 05, 2018•31 min
The Pete is back from working the Isle of Wight Festival and is sunburnt. He's also sporting a rather snazzy Transformers tattoo. And, having managed to perform a bungee jump and survive it with both retinas intact, he's also in a chipper mood. He and The Luke discuss more weird sports team names, find out about a 19th century beer flood, hear of a school brawl involving over 100 people and an irate PE teacher, and discover some fart-based embarrassment. All in all, a pretty packed 35 minutes or...
Jul 02, 2018•34 min
Highlander actor Christopher Lambert is apparently almost blind. Did you know that? Why would you, eh? Luke certainly didn't, not until Pete told him. Yes, the boys are back and they're talking yet more nonsense, which let's face it is the very thing they do best. There's music chat, including Neil Young, Van Morrison and Pete's baes The Darkness. Did you know he almost joined their five-a-side team once? Elsewhere, plenty of your anecdotes including a near-dust up on the London Underground's ce...
Jun 28, 2018•35 min
Moore and Donaldson get back in their easy chairs, light a pipe each and start ruminating on the world around them once more, in episode 75 of your Luke and Pete Show. This time around there is time to talk about physical health, leading on to the fact that Pete has a charity bungee jump lined up. In a somewhat related matter, chat progresses to American candy, including Pete's favourites and a terrible memory he has of having a row in M+Ms World with an ex-girlfriend. And, before they nick off ...
Jun 25, 2018•33 min
As the title suggests, in episode 74 we hear about one of the more bizarre habits adopted by people in England in the 17th century. But before that there's plenty to get our teeth into, including a new jingle or two, a Mencarta entry for the ages and a man having a chip implanted into his hand with mixed results. There's also plenty more where that came from - we revisit sex education classes, Kathy Burke, and lots more. Let's be having you: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to r...
Jun 21, 2018•32 min
The chaps are back, and on your particularly chaotic latest edition of The Luke and Pete Show, we have a truly eclectic range of topics to discuss. There's Fathers4Justice, more Anthony Bourdain chat, craft ale, more intellectual property theft from our listeners, and a revisiting of the white-hot National Treasures debate. And if that wasn't enough, we also find time to chat about two of the UK's specialist subjects: anxiety and uncool musicians. What ho! To join us in this horrific journey: he...
Jun 18, 2018•36 min
Rejoice, because The Luke and The Pete are back in their hotseats and shooting the proverbial once again. This time around there's the great 'compressed air v jet fuel' debate, more flat earth nonsense and a an honourable mention for the late Anthony Bourdain. Elsewhere, your emails include a horrific tale about a ride at Disneyland Paris gone wrong, a boy wetting himself on stage at school, and much, much more. To serenade us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review...
Jun 14, 2018•37 min
We're back. Pete's brought along a new jingle or two and Luke has brought along himself. This time around, there's a bit of film chat (Alex Garland's Annihilation and Woody Harrelson's Lost in London Live), a kid that keeps fainting (not Luke or Pete), and today's musical offering is brought to you by Geri Halliwell and the Wu Tang Clan (separately). Meanwhile, a listener gets in touch to offer a 90s life hack that is basically theft, and there's lots more besides. To send us your suggestions fo...
Jun 11, 2018•38 min
As promised, this episode starts with Pete taking a science quiz, with actually quite impressive results, there’s talk of tattoos and the role they now play in society, and we learn actually pretty quickly that Pete doesn’t know the story of a really well known film that won three Oscars. For your part dear listener, you excel yourselves yet again with your tales of intellectual property theft, and what’s more, you don’t even seem that sorry. Oh and one final thing, be kind to your knees. You’ll...
Jun 07, 2018•31 min
Greetings to you, beloved Luke and Pete Show community! We’re back for our 69th edition of this nonsense, and this time around The Luke and The Pete discuss Freddie Mercury again, what The Pete got up to at the British wrestling earlier in the week (spoiler: being overdressed and drinking wine, mainly), there’s an elongated chat about National Treasures, and we learn more about Pete’s teenage punk band, One Eyed Willy. In addition to this, we uncover a truly disturbing story about a previously h...
Jun 04, 2018•41 min
Draw up the drawbridge and draw down the blinds! We're back! Pete's seen Solo and quite liked it, and on the subject of movies we also take the time to talk a bit about the new Freddie Mercury biopic which is hitting cinemas soon. Still on a theme, there's also a departure over to Will Smith and how he nabbed the Fresh Prince gig. When it comes to your contributions, dear listeners, you excel yourselves yet again with tales of potentially the worst driver ever, as well as an extremely welcome mi...
May 31, 2018•32 min
On this episode of your all-new The Luke and Pete Show, we take time out to imagine what it would be like if The Pete wasn't 'a voice on a stick' but a BT engineer, sent out to make internet happen in your abode. Predictably, results are 'mixed'. After that, chat rapidly progresses into talk of Brian Blessed, what it takes to become a national treasure and presenters who in real life are shits, and of course plenty of stories from The Luke and Pete Show Community, including misbehaviour at schoo...
May 28, 2018•37 min
School stories aplenty this time around as the great and good of The Luke and Pete Show community deliver us some of their most cringeworthy tales, we try to separate art from the artist, and there's an opportunity to imagine a young Pete gaily skipping through a horse's field on the way to school every morning. And if that wasn't enough, we talk gorillas, farting (again), and possibly the worst parenting story of the year, involving a car, a toddler and a coalition of cheetahs. Seriously, we're...
May 24, 2018•34 min
When is a dog not a dog? That's a burning question we answer early doors on episode 65 of The Luke and Pete Show, before Pete waxes lyrical about birthdays, birthday parties and the fascinating world of speedrunning of video games. The contributions from you the dear listeners this week extend to unkillable men, embarrassing farts and much, much more. Don't miss it. To speedrun an email over to us: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you ...
May 21, 2018•26 min
This time around on your common-or-garden Luke and Pete Show, The Pete has been back to the motherland unannounced to see his dear old mother and to annoy his father with Tivo-based tricks. Meanwhile, Luke's been for afternoon tea, the boys show yet more love for the great Carly Rae Jepsen, and there's a listener reporting an erroneous shaving of facial hair. Elsewhere, a listener quite literally ruins Easter for a group of children and there's more curious French behaviour, this time from the 1...
May 17, 2018•38 min
