Ep. 328 - E.Z.'s Crazy Testimony

And here I am like , without any arm twisting , I'm just saying yes , so she takes another shot . You've been doing this too , haven't you ? Yeah , mom , not just that , but a whole lot more . And I remember we sat down that night in her room and I just told her everything I'd been doing , from A to Z , and she just began to weep .

She just she had no idea that I had been in that deep and I'd been doing that much stuff . And I said , mom , I want you to mark my words . From this night forward , nothing will ever be the same . So that was August 15 , as I said , 1991 . And my mom passed away from cancer May 22nd of 1994 .

But until that day she never forgot those words , because God , by his grace , allowed her to see the radical transformation in my life and everything about me changed the way I walked , the way I talked , the way I acted , the way I felt , I mean , I was just totally transformed .

I had to focus my eyes a little bit . But his life , I mean for easy to swear would be just anathema , because he's such a godly man and he's a testament to the fact that if any man be in Christ , he is a new creature .

Because when we listen to this testimony I've heard this testimony before so many times , so many times I've heard this testimony before it's wonderful and it gives glory to God , but it shows he was a very vicious , very vicious gang member and yet there's nobody as loving and ferociously kind as Ezekiel and any man being Christ .

And what he didn't realize was he was just following me as I was making things out of order and the entire time we were talking for like 40 minutes . I'm just moving things and he's putting things in order , and he had no idea that I was putting things in order .

Going into marriage , we were both professing Christians but came to realize that we were both false converts , attending seeker-sensitive churches our whole lives and unknowingly believing in a transactional , works-based faith , feeling entitled for forgiveness and salvation because of our attempt at our best Christian lives .

Quote by God's amazing grace , through finally studying what God's word actually had to say , we saw that none are righteous and we are all desperately wicked sinners in need of a holy and perfect savior who is in Jesus Christ . The Holy Spirit changed both my husband and my hearts .

About six months apart from each other's conversions , we grieved over our sins and God gave us a new heart of repentance and all we desire now is to serve and honor God . We cannot even express how much your ministry has blessed us .

Majority of our family and friends desperately need to hear the gospel , but we often feel we lack the tools to know how to share . This podcast has helped us so much , and the Living Waters TV app is our new favorite app . Instead of watching TV when we wind down at night we watch an episode on the app instead .

It really feels like you guys are our friends , even though you don't know us yet . Your voices and laughter often fill our home , and I'm pretty sure our one-year-old daughter is already familiar with all of your voices at this point , lol . Thank you all for all you do . God is using you all in mighty ways for the kingdom . Thank you so much for that .

That is awesome .

It's such an encouragement to us , especially because we're sitting in this room and it's just us . We don't get to see the impact .

The more you comment and subscribe , the more it propels the algorithm to prioritize these episodes , so that when a non-believer , an unchurched Christian or , like this family here , somebody that just sort of are cultural Christians that don't actually have a saving faith , when they start Googling questions about the faith , about spirituality , it's more likely that they

will find this episode , an episode that we've done in the past , this podcast and then listen to God glorifying biblically accurate conversations about truth . In other words , by you subscribing and you commenting , you're sort of being evangelistic in a sense , and so thank you for that .

We really don't care about the numbers in the sense that it boasts us up and makes us feel good . We care about the numbers in the sense that it reaches more people for the glory of God . Right Ray .

Just talk normal about EZ .

They're always to not use the pun . They are always compelling , often heartwarming and moving me almost to tears . Easy was honored enough to be asked to be invited onto Compelled to share his testimony , and so you're going to hear . This is a very different kind of format .

They put a lot more effort into their post production than we do , that's for sure , and we think you're going to like this . So here is EZ's episode on Compelled .

I cleaned up my act , started going to the local Catholic gift shop , buying all kinds of crosses and religious paraphernalia and doing the sign of the cross every time I passed by a church , saying my nightly prayers and I had what would have appeared to be a respect and an honor for God , but in essence I was a practical atheist .

I love listening to compelled because it always leaves me in awe just how strong god is to see if people live in exceedingly sinful lifestyles , come to him and it really encourages me just to keep praying for and keep going with people who I think in in my mind would be not interested . But God can be really at work in their lives or later down the years .

He saves to the utmost and no one is too far gone for Him . Enjoy today's episode .

We've already recorded a few of those interviews , but still need to find a few more and , of course , we need to edit all of them . I'll tell you more about those stories and our end of year video call celebration , which is happening later this week . Just stay tuned to the end of our episode and last week's story we heard from Terry Hrabowski

, who grew up caught between Catholicism and cultural occultic practices , but after the enemy tried everything to destroy her , God allowed Terry's life to become a story of healing and redemption , touching countless lives in ways that she never knew possible Again . You can hear that story in our previous episode with Terry Hrabowski .

Today , our guest is Emile Zwane , a rising gang member with a promising career as a rap star , but one day he was invited to an event that would change the course of his life . So gather around , lean in and join us for another compelling story from the kingdom of God .

I met up with Emil at the headquarters of Living Waters , an evangelism ministry based in California , and you can't talk with Emil longer than two minutes before he starts cracking jokes and making you smile . But it wasn't always this way . In fact , Emil almost never even made it into the world , the story of which begins about 60 miles north of Israel .

So , unlike the US and a lot of the Western countries , a woman couldn't just walk into a clinic on a given day and just have an abortion . But if she got clearance from her primary physician she was typically permitted to have one .

And so my mom one day sat down with me and as she was kind of sort of reveling over me in a moment of joy as her son because she was kind of sort of reveling over me in a moment of joy as her son it was a real tender moment .

She told me that she had gone and attempted to abort me and I said you know that a woman could get an abortion if she got clearance from her primary physician . But that was really more of a formality . They usually wouldn't turn a woman down . If she wanted to have one , they'd let her have one .

But she recounted to me that on that day she sat there in the doctor's office literally waiting to end my life . The doctor looked over at her and said I'm not going to let you do this one . And so fast forward to January of 1980 .

I found myself being snatched out of bed and thrown into the back of a car and driven through the crazy streets of Beirut , lebanon , only to then be thrown on this giant metal tube called an airplane and flown thousands of miles to this new and wonderful land called the United States of America .

And when you're that age , you know you don't really have much say in the matter . It's not like they ask for your permission . You're treated more like glorified luggage . You know it's like , hey , meet my son Louis Vuitton . And then they just kind of toss you , toss you on .

And so I remember arriving to these glorious shores , walking off the plane and all my senses being assaulted by just all the newness of it all . All my senses being assaulted by just all the newness of it all .

You know you're young , you don't even know much about life , what it means to be from a certain country or culture , but it's just like whoa , what just happened ? Right , they put me on this thing and suddenly I'm in this new place , new sounds and sights and smells , and you know , I didn't speak a lick of English .

The only things I knew how to say were hello and give me chocolate . That was basically it . And so , shortly after arriving , my parents put me in this very hostile , dangerous and deadly environment called kindergarten . It's a miracle I survived , you know . And you know kids are coming up to me , you know what's up , dude , and I'm like hach mach mach .

You know , trying to Arabic doesn't sound like that . Actually , it sounds exactly like that . And I'm , you know , trying to make sense of it all . And yeah , I just immediately I get into school and I'm getting in fights with kids , I'm stealing stuff out of little cubby holes during that time of , you know , just really getting into a lot of trouble .

I think part of it was just trying to grapple with and adjust to a new culture and not speaking the language and just big troublemaker .

I mean , that's just what you grew up in and things are so divided that way , just what you grew up in and things are so divided that way , and so we had that sort of cultural dynamic going on in our home . So that's kind of what it was . I mean , it's almost like , you know , I'm American . Of course I'm Christian .

You know , isn't everyone who's an American kind of thing ? That's kind of what it was . I had a form of godliness like scripture talks about , but I denied its power . You know , it was more of an outward kind of a structure scripture talks about , but I denied its power . You know , it was more of an outward kind of a structure .

When I was about eight , I did what's called my first Holy Communion , and we went through various classes , learned the Ten Commandments you know , learned about how to live , quote , unquote , a good life , and so on and so forth , and so I remember determining at that point when I did my first Holy Communion that's , when you partake of communion for the first time

as a Catholic I made a decision I'm going to change my life . I'm going to be a good person from now on . I'm going to stop lying , stealing , cheating , robbing banks at eight years old , the whole thing . I'm going to reform my life . Yeah , I decided from that point , that's it . I'm changing things up . I'm going to be a good person .

So I created this long list of do's and don'ts of things I would always make sure to maintain , things I would never do . And , man , I did . I cleaned up my act .

I started going to the local Catholic gift shop , buying all kinds of crosses and religious paraphernalia , and doing the sign of the cross every time I passed by a church , saying my nightly prayers , and , outwardly , I did reform .

I became the teacher's pet , I became mama's boy , and I had what would have appeared to be a respect and an honor for God , but in essence , I was a practical atheist .

I claimed to believe God existed , but I lived as if , though , he made no difference to the equation , except in those compartmentalized times when I was praying at night , or I went to church , or I was involved in some religious ritual .

As you know , when you clean the outside of the cup and the inside hasn't been cleaned , it's a whole different matter , and so that's what happened to me . When I hit high school , things really started to change because there was peer pressure . You know , I wanted to be cool .

I wanted to be cool , I wanted to fit in , I wanted attention , I wanted popularity . And so , after deceiving the student body with my smooth and flattering speech and getting elected to being president of my freshman class , you know , I really started to wreak havoc . I sat on my throne and just things really started going downhill .

I'm supposed to be the example to the whole freshman class . I ended up being the worst kid on campus . Downhill . I'm supposed to be the example to the whole freshman class . I end up being the worst kid on campus . I was getting into fights all the time with other fellow students . I was , you know , not doing well academically .

I threatened to kill one of my teachers . I vandalized one of my classrooms near the end of the school year , so yeah . So they nabbed me and busted me and said , yeah , you're not coming back next year . So by the end of that freshman year I was now expelled .

So my sophomore year they put me into some , you know , kind of independent studies where I had to do stuff at home , and then they ended up sending me to another high school .

Now , this high school was a gang infested high school and there were two primary gangs there and you're either part of one of those , or you're a jock , or you were kind of sort of prey for all those groups . And so at the time , believe it or not , I was a rap artist and I had my artist producer contract signed .

We were in the studio , we were recording . My producers had produced some of the top artists in the industry . I was in the studio recording , and this is before the time when everyone was mixing music at home and doing their own thing . I mean , it was a big deal to get into a studio to have producers , and so all that started to get to my head .

And so that first day on that new campus , my sophomore year , I'm walking across campus and I run into a guy . We start talking and I tell him about what I was doing in terms of my rap career and he goes oh man , you need to come hang out with me and my friends at lunch . And so I did .

And then one day turned into two days , two days in a week , a week and a month . We really hit it off and this was my new group of friends . So one day we were walking off campus to go to lunch and they said hey man , we want to jump you into our gang . And these guys were actually members of one of the two gangs that I mentioned .

They were members of the Crips . And had you realized that hanging out with these guys yeah , I knew that right off the bat . But you know , I'm just hanging out with them , but little that I know . They wanted me to to become a part of their gang .

So I can , we want to jump you in and that means basically to get initiated through being beaten by the other gang members for a certain amount of time .

So , yeah , we walked down an alleyway and they start pummeling me when you're that age and you're after , again , acceptance and belonging and wanting to be cool and wanting power , and you just foolishly end up making really stupid decisions .

And there was a bit of that kind of when the dust settled and I kind of came back to my senses and I realized , wait a minute . I just became a part of one of the most notorious gangs in the United States , and so from there , things really degenerated . I started going downhill morally more than ever .

That long list of do's and don'ts that I had established was now just a distant memory . I mean , just about everything on there was checked off . And so , yeah , by the end of my sophomore year now I found myself getting expelled from my second high school .

At the end of that sophomore year I had a grade point average of 0.32 , four Fs and two D minuses , and the D minuses were in PE and drama . I think it's illegal to give anyone an F in those . And also I think the teachers didn't want me to have to repeat their classes the next year . They were like let us let this kid pass by the skin of his teeth .

You know , one day my family was gathered at our house and one of my sisters started to kind of rail on me . Just tell me , man , you're worthless , you're useless , you're not going to amount to anything . Look at what's going on in your life . And I remember something in me just snapped .

I jumped up , I lunged for the kitchen drawer , I grabbed a knife and I just started wildly stabbing in my wrist . I mean , I literally wanted to die and it's God's grace that I made it through that and I'm sitting here with you today .

And , as he would discover , it was going to take a lot more than just hatred to change , which we'll hear about right after the break . Welcome back to Compelled . Emile Zwane was two months shy

of his 16th birthday , but had already been expelled from two different high schools for his atrocious behavior . He had joined the Crips , one of the most notorious and violent gangs in America , and was on the fast track to either prison or death . To all of his friends in the gang , emile had it made . He had been signed as a rapper and exuded confidence .

He was the epitome of cool . But inwardly , emil knew that something was messed up .

But still it's like I knew and I remember I would pray at night and I'd say God , I know I need to give you my life , I know I need to surrender everything to you . I would pray at night . I'd say God , I know I need to give you my life , I know I need to surrender everything to you , but I can't stop drinking and partying and indulging in immorality .

And I was right , I couldn't , I didn't have the power to do it . But my friend invited me to this evangelistic event and I really can't believe . I said yes to him . He said hey , my parents invited me to this thing , you want to go ? And it was a month before we were supposed to go . And I said , yeah , yeah , I'll go .

So that day rolled around , it was August 15 , 1991 . And actually that morning , you know , we started partying on the 14th and then it bled into the 15th .

But that morning , august 15 , 1991 , it was a Thursday , maybe one two o'clock in the morning , my friend and I were parked off of a street in our neighborhood and we were both drunk out of our minds and I remember looking over at him and saying man , this is the best feeling I've ever had . I want to feel this way for the rest of my life .

So I come back home , I crash , I get up the next morning , I go about my same debauched , sinful routine and evening begins to roll around and I go to my mom hey , mom , I'm going to some Christian thing with my friend Bill tonight . And she goes yeah , right , you , liar , thank you .

Here I am for the first time in my life telling her the truth , and she's not believing me and she's like you're going to go out and party and drink and you're going to do this and that and , and you know my , my bedroom walls and my closet doors in my room back in that time were filled with posters , and it wasn't just because I loved those artists and

rap groups , but it was really mainly because my bedroom walls and my closet doors were full of holes , because when I would get angry about something , I would just start punching holes into the wall and the closet doors .

And so as my mom began to argue with me and tell me that I was lying to her about where I was going , I started to punch the walls and get really angry . And right at that moment my friend pulls up to pick me up for the event and I was man so close to not going .

I was gonna go and do what she thought I was going to do because I was so upset , but by God's grace I got into that car and we start heading toward the event and I was fuming the whole way there . My friend's like hey , man , what's going on ?

Because my poor American friends , they never knew exactly what was happening , because there'd be times Arabs are really passionate . So we'd be like happening , because you know there'd be times we , you know Arabs are really passionate . So we'd be like , ah , you know going . It's like man , what's what's going on ? Everything Okay .

And it's like , oh , we're just talking about what we're going to have for lunch . What's the big deal ? So he didn't know , is this one of those or is this something bad ? And he's like man , what were you guys talking about ? I was just raging . And so we get there and we walk into this massive amphitheater and I had no idea what to expect .

In fact , I thought we were going to go to like some kind of church building and an old man was going to tell like maybe a room full of 20 , 30 people , some Bible stories . And we walk into this amphitheater and there were like 20,000 plus people there and I was just like wait , what is this ? I mean , again , I had no clue what this was all about .

And so I walk in and I see this like festive atmosphere and thousands upon thousands of people , and people just look so full of joy .

And I remember they started the worship music and I'm looking at these people , man , and they're standing there and they're looking toward the heavens and their faces are beaming with joy , big smiles on their faces , and I remember thinking , man , these people are acting like God is really here or something .

Even just hearing the music , my heart just started to soften . It was such a contrast from the hardcore , wicked rap music that I would listen to . So then the preacher gets up and he begins to preach the gospel .

I remember the preacher , at the end of his message , said that salvation was a free gift that you couldn't work for or earn , but that God gave on the basis of his grace . And growing up Catholic , I didn't understand that concept . I always thought my good had to outweigh my bad .

I always thought that I had to , through my own efforts and good works , earn my way to heaven .

And so when I heard salvation was a free gift , that I could know for certain that I had everlasting life through repentance and faith , it was like the blinders fell off , and when the invitation was given to surrender my life to Christ , I mean I was probably one of the first people in that place to jump up and run forward .

I remember standing there just in tears , and suddenly that crucifix that I had seen in that chapel Sunday after Sunday made sense to me and I finally understood what it was all about . You know , I think a lot of times as people we deceive ourselves into thinking that we're fine , that we're good people , because we compare ourselves to others .

It's like the guy smoking weed will point to the guy slamming heroin and say , hey , look , at least I'm not doing the most addictive , destructive drug . I'm a good person . So when you compare yourself to others , you're always going to find worse and you're going to justify yourself . It's like Ray Comfort often says .

You know , if you see a white sheep eating green grass , it looks pretty white with that green background . But you put that sheep in a barn , let it snow overnight , bring it out with that pure white , snowy background and then make the comparison it doesn't look so white anymore .

And so , looking at myself , against the backdrop of God's holy law , his perfect nature and character and I knew I was in big trouble with God he wasn't some celestial grandpa sitting up in heaven slapping his knee and laughing and saying oh kids , you know , look at how adorable that is . No sin is a stench in his nostril .

It's an offense , I mean , think about it . A man and a woman eating a piece of forbidden fruit in a garden thousands of years ago has put us in the predicament that we're in today . All the suffering and the disease and the sickness and the sin and the turmoil and the chaos and the death that we see in our world today traces its roots back to that .

It shows you how severe sin is in the sight of a holy God . And so when I heard the gospel of grace in consideration of how wretched and sinful and wicked I was that God was willing to forgive me , that he was willing to cleanse me of my sin .

And he didn't just make a statement about that , it wasn't just a declaration hey , I'm willing to cleanse me of my sin . And he didn't just make a statement about that , it wasn't just a declaration hey , I'm willing to forgive you . He put a massive exclamation mark on that by becoming a man and then going to that cross , becoming my substitute .

And so I cry out to God in repentance and faith , and I was instantly transformed . 2 Corinthians 5 says you know , if any man is in Christ , he's a new creation . Behold , all things have become new , and it was as if , though , I'd been carrying a thousand pounds of weight on my shoulders and they were just lifted off .

I felt like as light as a feather , as my conscience was cleared and God regenerated me in that moment in time . I mean , I was so transformed . I remember we get into my friend's car , we're heading back to my house , and he turns on the same wicked radio station with filthy music that we used to listen to .

And I remember I turned over to him and I go man , what are you doing ? We don't listen to that stuff anymore . We're Christians now . And in a sense he's like whoa , it's like , hey , slow down . It's like man , this guy got over-saved . This is a bit too much here , you know . But I just , I was all in , I was new Again . God gave me the new nature .

And so we get to my house and I'm walking in and come to find later my mom had found out that I was involved in some different things and she had said to my dad and my brother that's it , he's out of here , I'm gonna pack his bags , I'm kicking him out , it's either him or I in this house . And yeah , she said that .

But you know , my dad and my brother convinced her not to say anything and just to monitor me and kind of try to figure out what else thing . And so I'm walking in toward the door and I look in through the window and we , we , we catch eyes . And she went into that .

I'm going to kill you , mom , pose , you know where the , the , the fists go up there up to the side , and it was like , oh man , I'm in big trouble . So I walk in and

I just remember I had this you know ear to ear grin that I just could not bring down Again . I was just transformed . I'm like man , I have everlasting life , Like what just happened to me . And so I come in . I'm like hi , mom , you know this big old permagrin . And she goes hi , huh , You've been doing this , haven't you ? I go yeah , mom , I have .

She nearly flew back like 20 feet . You know what I mean . All like 20 feet . You know what I mean . All my life she'd been accusing me of things and asking me if I've been doing things , and of course I never admitted to anything . And here I am , like , without any arm twisting , I'm just saying yes . So she takes another shot .

You've been doing this too , haven't you ? Yeah , mom , Not just that , but a whole lot more . And I remember we sat down that night in her room and I just told her everything I'd been doing , from A to Z , and she just began to weep . She just she had no idea that I had been in that deep and I'd been doing that much stuff .

And I said , mom , I want you to mark my words . From this night forward , Nothing will ever be the same . So that was August 15 , as I said , 1991 . And my mom passed away from cancer May 22nd of 1994 .

But until that day she never forgot those words because God , by his grace , allowed her to see the radical transformation in my life and everything about me changed the way I walked , the way I talked , the way I acted , the way I felt . I mean , I was just totally transformed .

You know , I knew that my life had to have that integration in it , that God had to be a part of every aspect of my life and I couldn't live by a double standard . And so I remember , I called of my life and I couldn't live by a double standard . And so I remember I called up my producers , I called up my DJ .

I said hey guys , um , something massive has changed in my life . I'm a Christian , I can't do this anymore . And they like almost flipped out , like what are you talking about ? Especially my DJ ? He's like man , what are you doing ?

He's like I go to church , I'm Catholic , I did my confirmation , I I believe in God , but why are you letting God get in between us ? Those were his words . Why are you letting God get in between us ? My producers were , like what are you doing ? You know what's going on here and why don't you just get rich and famous and then , you know , drop this stuff .

And I remember a friend of mine and I would hang out back in that time and we'd talk about different scenarios Like what if someone pulled up in a big U-Haul truck packed with cash to the ceiling and said , hey , all you have to do is deny Jesus and you get all this ? And we would just belly laugh Like we would be on the ground , just like what ?

This is the thought of that . After tasting of Christ , like Paul said , you know , all things become loss , all things become rubbish in comparison to knowing him . And so , yeah , I just I walked away from that and I said I'm done and it was a pleasure . There was , there was no conflict there in my heart and mind .

You know , I had struck a drug deal just before I got saved . I was going to get cocaine and then eventually a gun and I was going to have people start dealing drugs for me and I was supposed to meet the dealers at a park on a certain day and of course I had better things to do now being born again .

And so friend of mine was there and they saw him . They're like , hey , where's easy , we're supposed to meet to do the trade , you know . And he goes , oh man , he went to some Christian event . He became a Christian . He's kind of like , walked away from all this stuff and the guys got really mad . My friend came .

He's like , bro , these guys are going to kill you . So I remember I called them . I'm like , hey , man , I look . I know we struck this deal , but there've been some changes in my life . You know I'm a Christian now and they're like man , what are you doing ? You know we're Christians too .

It seemed like everyone was a Christian that day , but you got to make your living . You know we go to church , we go to Bible study , but you got to make your living . I remember going well , man , now I'm living for Christ . I'm like , what is it like drug dealer for Jesus ? What surprised me if they had such a thing ?

And so , by God's grace , they let me off the hook . You know , when you get into a gang , you got to get jumped out . I told you I got jumped in . But when you're getting jumped out now , you're not on good terms . They're not happy that you're leaving the gang .

They feel like you're a traitor , and so they could they could beat you very , very brutally . And so I called my gang friends . I said hey , man , I know I got to get out , how I got in , and you know you guys got to do what you got to do . Just let me know what's happening with this .

And so they're like all right , man , we'll we'll , we'll have a meeting about this , we'll talk , we'll get back to you . And so I remember later they got back to me and they're like all right , man , we don't want to have anything to do with this God stuff .

Kind of like we don't want to mess with God's boy , sort of like a superstitious , like you know , god might come after us if we go after you . So they're like we're not going to jump you out , that's fine , you're , you're out .

You know you're talking to some guy about Jesus , and he got really mad and he was talking about how he was going to beat you up . But your old gang friend took care of him . And so it's like now the guys who are supposed to be my enemies at this point , my former gang friends were now actually protecting me .

Not that I never had moments of anger or that I never am tempted toward anger or haven't become angry , but it just changed . It changed from being sort of the tone and tenor of

my life , the thing that kind of fueled me of the tone and tenor of my life , the thing that kind of fueled me and that was like hair trigger , to becoming just something that God gave me victory over , because he just changed my heart , and especially when it came to my enemies .

You know the word talks about how when a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord , he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him . And the people that I hated or that hated me suddenly became people that I was able to interact with graciously .

Just to have seen the Lord do that and then to to prompt me to apologize to people that I had offended and that I had hurt . It was just such a joy , you know , and he who's forgiven much loves , much .

So , after encountering Christ and being forgiven of that massive debt , it was like how could I not but love and forgive others or make it right with others that I had wronged ? And then , you know , I used to always try to get back into that high school where I was my freshman class president .

You know the one that I got kicked out of and they would laugh at me . It's like you get rid of a disease . Why in the world would you willingly welcome it back ? You know , of course I mean the principal had actually said to my family if easy , comes back to the school , I'm quitting my job . That's how much of a terror I was on that campus .

And so I remember I called them after I came to Christ . I said , hey , I'm , I'm a different person , I'm born again , christian . Now , god revolutionized me and and , uh , please , will you give me another chance ? And they're like , ah , we're going to have to have a meeting about this .

It seems like people are always meeting about me back in that time for one , one reason or another . And so they had their meeting and they got back to me and I said , okay , we're , we're going to send you to a continuation school , the first semester of your junior year , and if you do good there then we'll take you back your second semester .

And so I go to this continuation school and now you know I have a reason to do well . I have a God to glorify and to honor . And so I started cranking and by the end of that first semester of that junior year they ended up electing me as the most improved male student on campus .

They held a big banquet at the Elks Club for me and gave me an award . And so I remember I go back to that first high school where I was kicked out as a freshman and I gave the principal my transcript and I said you know , you guys said you would take me back if I did . Well , here's everything .

And I remember she looks at my transcript and she did like a double take and kind of like was almost shaking her head in disbelief and she goes what got into you ? I remember saying the Lord got into me . Yeah , he changed my life , he transformed me .

And so , probably against their will and desire , because they made a commitment , they said all right , well , I guess we're letting you back . I remember praying for something specific because , as I told you they knew the terror that I was and just how insane I was , and I said , okay , we're letting you back .

But I said , lord , just let me be a witness here . And I prayed for something specific . By God's grace , by the end of that semester I went from that 0.32 grade point average four Fs , two D minuses to a 4.0 , straight A's , started teaching Bible study at the Bible study club on campus at different times and started sharing the gospel with people .

And it was around this time that God used Emil's interest in evangelism to open up a rather unexpected door .

But you know , he really got my attention with that . And so he goes man , I'll be right back that . And so he goes , man , I'll be right back . He goes to his dorm room and he comes back and he puts this book in my hand called Springboards for Effective Evangelism . It was a book written by Ray . And he goes man , you've got to read this .

So I took it out of courtesy . You know we all have that pile of books at home that we're never going to read , and so I threw it on that pile and then one day , lo and behold , by God's orchestration I ended up picking it up and I'm reading about all this stuff this guy's doing . I'm like what in the world ? I mean it was just like insanity .

I mean he's going up to perfect strangers , cold turkey , on the street preaching the gospel to them . He's preaching the gospel out in the open air to the cast of Jesus Christ Superstar .

He's doing a mock funeral in public where he's got these guys dressed up in white button-down shirts and black ties and sunglasses , with a guy lying on the ground and a sheet over him . They're acting like pallbearers . He's doing a funeral in public and then preaching the gospel , talking about death . I'm like who is this guy ?

And I remember reading in the front of the book it said edited by Rachel Comfort , on the title page and that stood out to me and I thought I wonder who that is . Is it his wife , his daughter ? I don't know . So anyway , I was really blown away by this book .

So I started an evangelism team through the church that I had co-planted and when I started this evangelism team we were going to go out for our first night and someone came and they brought this VHS tape . I know some people listening here will have no idea what that is , but he brought it with him that night and it was called Open Air New York .

It was great comfort , open air preaching at Washington Square Park in New York , and it was one thing to read about the stuff Ray was doing . It was a totally different dynamic to actually watch him in action . I'm seeing this guy , you know , with this New Zealand accent , stepping up to a soapbox and yeah , brian , repent , tend to the Lord .

Yeah , brian , and I was like with this authority and I was just my jaw hit the ground . I'm like this is crazy . And I was really inspired and so I started to connect more with the ministry and get resources and I remember I called one day to order some tracts and I hear this very familiar voice on the other end living waters .

I'm like wait , no , this can't be . I'm imagining things . So we keep talking a little more . And then I'm like I'm sorry , is this Ray Comfort ? I am , I am , I am , I am . It was him . And I'm like what I knew ?

I was calling Living Waters , but I didn't expect Ray Comfort to answer the phone , and it was a weekend and they were closed , but he was walking through the office , the phone rang and that's just Ray . He just picked it up , you know , and I'm like I couldn't believe it .

I'm like , um , and so we just started talking , really turned into fellowship , and I just told him about what God was doing at our church and through our evangelism team , and he was just so friendly and kind and and we had a great conversation and at the end of the conversation he said , hey , I love to speak locally , so if you would ever want me to come

and speak at your church , let me know I'd be happy to come and do that . I'm like , wow , okay , and I was actually scheduled to speak at our midweek service , and so we immediately invited him and he came like a couple of weeks later , and that was just awesome .

Meeting him was surreal and just really , really neat , and so then we invited him a second time to come on a Sunday morning . Now , what's interesting is before that I had gone to speak at a retreat up in the mountains and typical retreat , nothing out of the ordinary .

But at the end of the retreat , this very respected godly woman in the church comes up to me and says hey , there's something that's just really heavy on my heart . I wanted to share with you and thinking , oh , that's cool . You know my eyes start bulging , palms start sweating . You know I'm just standing there like all right , what is it ? Heart's thumping .

And she goes yeah , but I can't tell you now I was like what . I mean , she took me up to Mount Everest and then dropped me down into Death Valley and I'm like what in the world ? Anyhow , I come home , I'm reading the book of Genesis as I was teaching it at a midweek Bible study at our church , and I'm in chapter

24 . And I get to the very end . I read the very last verse . And it said Isaac took Rebecca and his mother Sarah's tent and she became his wife . And , and it said Isaac took Rebecca in his mother's tent and she became his wife and he loved her and he was comforted after the death of his mother .

My mom had passed away a year prior to that , so , and my mom and I were super , super close and I just missed her terribly I mean very , very badly . And so when I read that verse , it just struck my heart . You know , isaac took Rebecca in his mother's tent . She became his wife , he loved her and he was comforted after the death of his mother .

And it just struck me . Now I knew this wasn't like a verse for me . I wasn't claiming it was nothing weird like that , but it was just like man , god , you did this in the life of one of your children , and I know that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and pains favor from the Lord .

And I'm like Lord , I just pray you'd bring me a woman who'd bring me comfort after the death of my mother .

And so then the next day , sunday , july 9th , that's when Ray came to speak and I remember he and I were standing outside our sanctuary , which was on a second floor , and we were looking down as we stood outside into an open courtyard and all of a sudden the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth comes waltzing through . And I look down at her .

Ray looks at me and goes that's my daughter . I'm like , wow , she doesn't even have a beard . I expected at least a Ray Comfort beard or something , but nothing there . And so she gets up to the top of the stairs and , man , it sounds so cliche and corny .

But I just remember looking at her and getting this sense man , I'm looking at my wife like this girl's going to be my wife . It was just weird . And so Rachel was actually looking for a new home church and , and she had come that morning Ray introduced us .

When she got to the top of the stairs he started kind of trying to matchmake , you know , and he kind of takes off . So we start talking , we hit it off and said , hey , we go out every Friday night . We have an evangelism team , if you ever want to join us .

I gave her my card and so she started visiting the church , coming to my Bible study , and we began to build , you know , friendship . And then right after that , I get a call from that lady from the retreat . She's kind of making small talk and I remember in my mind thinking long time for this , like well , what's this thing you had to share with me ?

That was heavy on your heart . So finally she gets to it and she goes . You know , it was really heavy on my heart to share with you Genesis , chapter 24 , when Isaac met Rebecca . And then I believe God's going to bring you a woman who will bring you comfort after the death of your mother , and I was like what it was ? Like ? This hot flash came over me .

It was so , come home , I read this verse , it really strikes my heart . I asked the Lord to bring me a woman who'd bring me comfort . And then , right after the next day , I meet this girl who I sense is going to be my wife . Then that lady calls and tells me that that's what she had to share with me .

And so we built a friendship for five , five and a half months or so and really really hit it off . And I mean , we both kind of fell in love with each other and I was going to wait a year because I just really wanted to be certain . I didn't want to be mystical about it .

You know this happened to happen and I just wanted to be certain that I had had a previous relationship and it was a pretty painful breakup . I had broken up with the girl , but that was just . It was just hard , you know . And so I wanted to be careful and and so you know I was going to wait , but then it just became really apparent .

You know what I think the Lord's really in this . So I remember I called Ray and I said , hey , ray , can I come over and talk to you and Sue his wife ? So he said okay . So I made sure Rachel was at work and I came over and first he's like , hey , did Rachel do something at the church ? You excommunicating her ? I'm like no , ray , not quite .

So I shared my heart and told them everything that had been going on , and then I asked for their blessing to start a relationship with her . And these were the first words out of Ray's mouth he goes praise the Lord , that's the best news I've heard since the resurrection .

And so , yeah , they gave me their blessing and so we started a relationship , a very , very , very long , three-week relationship , got engaged for three months and then got married . You know , the amazing thing about it all is I had had two previous relationships that were significant for different reasons . One was a relationship before I became a Christian .

The other one was my first relationship as a Christian . One of the girl's names was Rachel , the other was Naomi , but in the end neither of them brought me comfort . But the Lord gave me a second chance . My wife's first name is Rachel , her middle name Naomi . Her last name comfort .

The day before I met her , lord bring me a woman who'll bring me comfort after the death of my mother . The next day , he brought me a woman bearing those other two names and even bearing the very name of Comfort , and so celebrated 27 years here not long ago .

And God's blessed us with five beautiful children , two grandchildren and hopefully many , many , many more grand and great , great , great , great grandchildren to come .

Today , he serves as Living Waters president and has the opportunity to share the gospel with literally millions of people online and around the world . And as our conversation wrapped up , Emil took a moment to reflect on not just the blessings of God , but his remarkable hand that has guided Emil's steps .

that now has , by God's grace , nearly 1.3 million subscribers , almost a quarter of a billion views . We're at almost 250 million views . I look at our television program that I co-produce and that I co-host , that now airs in almost every country around the world . Look at our podcast , the Living Waters podcast .

That's now one of the top podcasts on the planet and the doors that God has opened for me to be able to speak in churches and at conferences in different places . And I look at my beautiful wife , our five children , our two grandsons , and I'm just like Lord I should be dead or in prison and look at what you've done and I recognize it .

It's only his grace , that's what he does . He takes those that are lost and dead and blind and he finds them and he gives them life and he gives them sight and he uses them for his glory .

And years ago I summarized my testimony in this real short verse , and it's simply this I once was but a lump of coal upon a heap of mire , yet Jesus Christ redeemed my soul and saved me from the fire . My soul and saved me from the fire .

Now it's my joy to live to testify to his goodness and his grace and what he's done , with the hope that he'll continue to do it in others and that he'll stir his people to be conduits through which he reaches a loss like second Corinthians five as well , then I mentioned earlier talks about . We are ambassadors for Christ .

God wants to plead through us to the world to be reconciled to him , and so what an honor that we get to be instruments in his hand . You know , before I became a Christian , one of the worst things that you could ever say about yourself or that you could hear others say about themselves is that they were used .

You know , if someone said I was used , or if you said about yourself I was used , negative things always followed . But for us as Christians , is there any greater honor than to be able to say I was used by the living God ? It's the greatest joy and the greatest pleasure , and I'm humbled that he's allowed me to be a very minute part of his kingdom .

He went from being a vile-mouthed party-going gang member who was on the cusp of selling drugs and recording his first rap album , to becoming a straight-A's Bible-reading , gospel-preaching fanatic , all while still in high school . You know , the gods of this world promise happiness and power but ultimately only bring misery and despair .

But the living God of the Bible brings true hope , joy and transformation . If you want to listen to more of what Emil has to share , just tune into the Living Waters podcast . They publish episodes twice a week and you'll notice that they call him by his nickname , easy , most of the time .

Living Waters also has a multitude of fantastic evangelism resources , including their Way of the Master , tv show books , tracks , in-person events and , most recently , their brand new streaming platform , livingwaterstv . You can find all of those and more at livingwaterscom .

You can also check out Emile's newest book , fight Like a man , a bold biblical battle plan for personal purity . And if that's too many links for you to keep track of , don't worry . We'll have links to all of those in our episode show notes at compelledpodcastcom . Just search for this episode .

And while you're there , I'm going to direct your attention to two other items . First off , last year we interviewed Emil's father-in-law , ray Comfort , for Compelled . He's the evangelist from New Zealand who was staging mock funerals in public so that he could share the gospel . His testimony is just as extraordinary and you can hear him in episode 71 of Compelled .

Other fun fact during my original interview I asked Emil if he still raps and in response he gave us a 20-second rap song which you can listen to in our show notes if you give us your email address .

And frankly , I don't know if he does that for other podcast interviews too or not , or maybe this is the world debut , I'm not really sure , so maybe I should have done more fanfare for this or something .

But anyways , hop over to our show notes if you want to listen , and as an additional bonus , we'll also include a snippet about his dad being the oldest man in America that year . Yes , no joke , he was 112 years old during our recording . Again , that's in our show notes at compelledpodcastcom . Just look up this episode Now .

At the beginning of today's story , I mentioned that this is the season finale .

Season eight of Compelled is in the books , but we are very hopeful to be back again in 2025 with two more podcast seasons , and at this point we've already recorded eight more stories with topics ranging from atheism and drug addiction and racism and child loss and Hurricane Katrina and Jehovah's Witnesses . We cover a lot of ground , but the common theme is God .

He remains God through it all and displays his glory no matter the circumstances , and we're eager to bring these stories and others to life in 2025 , 20 stories in total and we're planning to do another round of recording in January and then begin launching those episodes in early February , and at the same time , we're also planning to launch our weekly national radio

program on February 2nd on American Family Radio . That'll be a one-hour program on 170 stations across the US . It'll be the exact same content as our podcast , with a mixture of brand new episodes as well as older stories that we've already published . But to make that reality , though , we're trying to raise $60,000 to create those episodes in 2025 .

And that's to cover our expenses like editing and sound design and music licensing and equipment and software and travel , and you get the idea .

There's a lot of moving pieces and we wear a lot of hats , and truly I think that Compelled is really good at punching above its weight and I think that we impact a surprisingly large number of lives considering how small our team is .

In fact , I just want to read you one message that we received , which said my family back on the East Coast has been suffering crisis after crisis , and the latest is that my brother is now in jail on 21 charges and facing major prison time .

I've got many people in my church family praying for him and one shared compelled with me , specifically the episode of Ron Atkins , who was sentenced to 500 years in prison .

It was profoundly encouraging to me and since then I've been working my way through all of your episodes involving jail time , along with some other ones that have helped me in my own personal journey . I have ministered to my little brother ever since my own conversion and somehow he's miraculously still alive , and I know his life has been sustained for a reason .

Thank you for your podcast . I can tell you it's been boosting my hope and faith greatly and you know we're just grateful to receive messages like that , which remind us that God is using these stories to touch and shape lives . This year , compelled Stories are on track to be downloaded over 800,000 times and with radio that number will just explode next year .

Let me invite you If compelled stories have been a blessing to you , will you prayerfully consider giving to the work that we're doing ? It's a very small group of people who make compelled possible each year , and last year it was about 200 listeners each year and last year it was about 200 listeners . $60,000 is a lot of money , but in God's hands it isn't .

He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and can work on the hearts of anyone he wants to , and I'm confident that if he wants us to move forward , he'll provide the resources . If you feel that God is leading you to partner with us , then you can do so at compelledpodcastcom slash donate , where you can make a one-time or monthly donation .

We'll also include a tracker there showing our progress . Finally , we're holding a special end-of-year video call celebration on Google Meet with our supporters this Friday , november 22nd , at 8 pm Central . You can meet our team . We'll share some fun behind the scenes stories and favorite moments from this past year .

We'll answer questions and actually we have a really cool announcement we're gonna make on that call and we'll just have a great time getting to know each other If you're one of our supporters . You'll get an email from me with the details for that call .

Today's story was edited by Will Jackson , sound engineering by Tim Hull , and our associate producer is my dear wife , who's made this podcast possible for the last six years . Sarah Hastings , I'm your host , paul Hastings , and you've been listening to Compelled . Lord willing , we'll be back in two months with 20 more compelling stories . We'll see you then .

If you don't know when you got saved , you just remember growing up inside of a Christian household and at six years old you're going to church .

What's funny is for those of us that have more of like a road to Damascus type stories , I'm compelled by those stories , the stories of just a faithful Christian family whose sons and daughters grew up faithfully following the Lord . I love that and it's encouraging to family members who are raising their children now .

It's like , no , we're testifying to what God did inside of our lives .

He is sanctifying , as his salvation is applicable to our wicked and depraved hearts every single day . The cross is not diminished the further you get from your moment of salvation . It increases in the sense that you have a better understanding of your need for grace , which is what we see in Paul's life . I love that .

Well , guys , thank you so much for listening to today's episodes of the Living Waters podcast and if you haven't yet , please subscribe to not only our podcast , but also Compelled by Paul Hastings . We think you're going to really enjoy the other . Didn't you record an episode as well ?

I was reading a book on creativity and he said write as a form of meditation . And what he meant by that is , when we write , let's not write like I wanna reach this person , but let's write as a form of worship to God for what he has done .

That was a really freeing realization , because it frees me up to not think about the person reading it , how it's gonna impact , who I'm gonna reach , but it just so . In other words , Ray , I have been recently inspired to try to write in a form of simply worshiping God for the work that he's done in my life .

Thank you for joining us in the livingwaterscom . Thank you for joining us in the living waters podcast , where we have no idea where easy is .