Ep. 192 - A Biblical View on Femininity

That's why I love having a help . My wife is my helpmate . She brings perspectives to me that I hadn't thought of often She'll just gently say that stupid .

You get served pasty peas casserole I would overturn the table . And , oscar , you get served human food . No , I'm not . What do you do ? What do you do , mark ?

wins . Now , you know , I'm a pretty competitive guy . So at that point I sit down and I was like why does it have to be apple sauce ? But in my mind I'm like you know what ? Forget it , I'm just gonna chug this thing down as quickly as I can . Sure , I don't like apple sauce , but I'm gonna do it to win the game .

So I was like I was in man , I was locked in . I was like I'm gonna devour this apple sauce and get the W . The second that spoon hit my lips with apple sauce , I started gagging , dude , I could not for the whole life of me get apple sauce down .

Keep up the great work .

I don't know who it was , but they just absolutely . Oh yeah they said they didn't get it .

That means more to us and you know , and we hope you're not melting in Arizona . Yeah , I had to . I had a forced overnight layover in Arizona one year and it was not fun in Singapore it was like 92 with 85% humidity .

That makes it hard to say Femininity , feminine , feminine if you're intelligent , it's easy to say . Remember that one time years ago on the comfort zone boy , that's a throwback , the comfort zone . I could not say statistical Saturday , saturday Live . I could not say Saturday night live without messing up . I did like three , four times .

And Look , let me say this for you , ladies that are listening today .

I want to say that , first of all , what we're gonna share on this Podcasts , we share unashamedly . We're not ashamed of what God's word says . We understand that a lot of things , things we're gonna say our counter cultural , but it's incumbent upon you to explore if they're biblical and if they are just like in every other facet of life .

We have a decision to make . Are we gonna listen to the Lord or we're going to listen to an ancient slithering serpent ? That's really what it comes down to , and you know , and you got to just step back and say what . Yeah , what does God's words say ? Here's how the definition is displayed in the dictionary .

This is in Miriam Webster femininity the quality or nature of the female sex , the quality , state or degree of being feminine or womanly . I'm surprised that's still in the dictionary . And then Collins dictionary defines feminine as qualities and things that relate to or are considered typical of women in Contrast to men . Huh , they're still making contrast .

That's good . Someone or something that is feminine has qualities that are considered typical of women , especially being pretty or gentle , having qualities regarded as characteristic of women and girls as gentleness , delicacy and modesty . I love those Because I do believe they comport to what scripture says .

But , mark , not long ago we saw Candidate for the United States Supreme Court , the highest court in the land actually look back at one of our Congressional leaders when asked can you define a woman ? And she said no .

And had a lot of lead up questions and things like that , and undoubtedly she would have said , yes , we need to fight for a woman , but we can't define what a woman is . At that point , I mean , there should be some basic qualifications to become a US Supreme Court judge , and apparently there's none anymore . So that's a hard thing .

So we need to go back , obviously back to the Bible and see what the Bible has to say .

It's crazy , it's absolutely .

I was watching a video about how long Richard Dawkins with some intelligent lady both obviously don't believe the Bible but they were complaining about the whole transsexual thing and what's going on and I thought , dawkins , you can't . You can't open your mouth . You say there's no God , there's no right nor wrong , no absolutes .

You just don't like what's coming out of the can that you've opened . You said there's no morality , but you can't say I don't like the way this is going . You just got to shut your mouth .

I could look at them and say , yeah , they're bigoted , because that's just an opinion based on preference rather than absolute truth . And if you're living in a relative world , well then , we decide what is , and so , therefore , you're going against that norm and you're a bigot . But for the Christian , we're not . We're not citing ourselves as the authority .

There's an ultimate authority and he's God and Oscar . What's the deal with the madness ? I mean , it's like people are terrified to speak the truth that they evidently know , Like when that Supreme Court nominee was asked that question , she knew the answer . Is it fear ? That's crippling people from just being real .

Women is made in God's own image , and for much of human history women have been made by culture to be less than man , and so there's one narrative that is anti-scripture Women are not less than man . They're equal in dignity , worth , capability and capacity . But to your point , we also have Genesis three .

And what happens in Genesis three , verse one Did God actually say those are the words that the serpent used on Eve . What is he doing in that moment ? He's questioning the authority of God , and we have so often in our culture today that feminism , the new wave of feminism , is the questioning of authority .

1950s feminist thinker Betty Friedman said we women do not need and can't trust any authority other than our own personal truth . Did God actually say it's the same lie from the serpent ? And so for women out there , like man , we need the scriptures , because women are incredibly important .

They have something incredible to contribute to society , to the family , to the church . They are valuable and worthy and made an image of God with a purpose . But if we don't turn to the scriptures , we will never discover the true purpose of women and femininity .

I mean there's a reason why we're attracted to our wives because they're different than us .

That's why I love having a help . My wife is my helpmate . She brings perspectives to me that I hadn't thought of . Often She'll just gently say that stupid and it doesn't hurt because she's my helpmate . But yeah , like you're saying , oscar women were a good idea . Yeah .

I think the pastel colors and pinks and light blues look really nice on women and I don't like seeing women dressed with black lipstick and black clothes and black fingernails and shaving half of the scalp and it's like I'm getting rid of everything the Bible says as a woman and trying to look like I don't know what .

We've got Deborah , which come to find I didn't realize this that Deborah is the only person in the scriptures that's considered both the prophet and the judge other than Samuel , and Andrew Curry in 2008 says , in regards to Deborah , she is a radical departure from the standard biblical themes , which rarely place women in roles as warriors in general , and so what

you see in scriptures over and over again , whether it's Esther or Lydia or phobia or Priscilla , is women playing vital roles in God's kingdom .

You'll have a woman who's masculine short hair , even carrying it , using a wallet instead of a purse , wearing more like masculine clothing , and then you have the other partner who's female . Same thing with men . One of the guys is more masculine , the other is more feminine and lisp and stuff like that .

Doesn't that speak to the fact that God is saying look , you're trying to mimic what I've designed .

that . And Margaret Sanger is a famous feminist author , narrator , and I love what Rachel Schultz observes about her and femininity today . She says Margaret Sanger's disciples claim to have freed our gender by opening doors , but many goals in the feminist mindset are not freeing at all .

Women are encouraged to grab all they can at no expense , to measure their worth by how much they control their autonomy . Conversely , as Christians we are dependent on God , not ourselves . True freedom is to be able to not sin . It only comes from Jesus Christ . It is for God to find you pleasing .

How could being free possibly include disavowing God's order and design ? If feminism has evolved into different manifestations of trying to buck submission , we must stay away . That's Rachel Schultz .

And I think when a woman fits into that role as a godly woman , she's going to appreciate the fact that God created her for this . I love the old saying God made woman from man's rib under his arm and close to his heart . And that's where a woman feels complete security and complete freedom and that God given role as a woman as a helpman , it's good .

Was he a leader that prioritizes himself or their others ? No , Jesus was the servant leader , the suffering servant . He was the one that washed his disciples' feet , who bent down and met people who were that , who ultimately gave up his life to serve others , ultimately through grace .

And so what we see in scripture is not a leader that is a higher value , but rather a leader that serves . And I think that when you , when you look at the idea of a servant and a leader and a servant leader through the eyes of scriptures , how do you ever come away with the idea that women are less than ?

So just to clarify Ray's not wearing an apron with a feather tester .

I mean there was a study that was done several years ago about the value of a mother , of a housewife , who is pouring into the kids and pouring into the husband all day long , and the value was worth hundreds of thousands of dollars if you were to compare it to the workforce and what it's like .

I don't know if you guys ever look at gotquestionsorg , but they have a great article on there concerning what a godly woman looks like , and on that website , this specific article . It talks about that a woman will control her thoughts .

She sets her mind to most things which are from above , she takes them captive and makes them obedient to Christ , and she meditates on God's word all throughout the day . So the first thing she does is she controls her thoughts . Next is she controls her emotions .

She lives by God's word , not the fickleness of her heart , and she's kind-hearted towards those that are around her or that oppose to a Christian review , that she's patient , willing to teach , willing to yield . Third , she controls her appetites .

Right , she doesn't run to food for solace , she doesn't run to anything other than God's word that a true woman and a male for that matter is going to be able to control their appetites inside this world . And next and this is typically very big for a woman for some reason , and that is the controlling of the tongue .

Right , that she's able to control her tongue , she doesn't have idle gossip , she's not slanderous , she's not given to profanity , she edifies , she builds up and she does not tear down . She definitely does not destroy her home . And then , finally , she controls her clothing .

She's modest with the clothing and with the jewelry that she has inside of her life , that she's not given over to just this outward adornment . Look at me that she'll dress in such a way to where she says it's about Christ , it's not about me .

And we had Owen Strand on here not too long ago where he was talking about the pitfalls of a woman , that she needs to be mindful of what she's wearing , knowing that guys are really attracted or drawn to the outward appearance .

So a woman who fears the Lord , she shall be praised that when you wake up , it should be your first priority to want to point people to Christ , and that starts with the men and the kids inside of your house .

So when you leave the house , you're not looking for anything other than what God has for you , because your kids rise up and call you blessed and your husband says this is my wife , in whom I'm will please , because she is caught up in wanting to please the Lord and hence I will be blessed just as much .

And there was a girl that I was really interested in and we were beginning to develop , you know , a friendship that was heading toward relationship , but she dressed very immodestly , and so one day I broached the subject and I tried to be as sensitive as I could . I went on and on about her beauty .

You're so beautiful , and so because of that , you know , and whew , no way .

I mean , Scripture is clear on the importance of modesty . I'll touch on those verses here in a little bit . But it's really important , especially in areas where in the summertime , like in California , it gets really hot , it gets really bad and there is no concern for other men .

Listen , men are responsible for what they do with their eyes and with their thoughts . No question , no woman is responsible for that . But we're also called to love one another and to serve one another , and we have the ability to create an atmosphere for others that make it more conducive for them to do what's right .

And the sad thing is this a lot of times there is an I don't care attitude and you know , years ago I had these three ends that I used and this may come across as offensive , but I shared in love . I think women that dress and modestly fall into one of three categories .

Either number one they're nasty , which means they know what it does to men and they want to do that to men . Other women , they're negligent . They know what it does to men . That's not what they want to do to men , but they don't care . It's like I don't care , it's fine .

I know that does that , but that's how I'm doing it and this is what I like to wear , whatever . And then the last category is naive . They have no idea what it does to men and they just don't know . That's why they dress that way Nasty , naive , nasty and negligent or naive . And I think that it's important that this be addressed .

It's sensitive , it's difficult , but I appeal to the godly women who know better and see the younger women that are dressing in ways that are dishonoring the Lord , not in a judgmental way , not in a harsh way , not in a knit picking way , but when it's something that's clearly revealing in an inappropriate way .

It's loving to talk to these young ladies and to tell them hey , think through this .

And the reality is that , especially for young women , there's going to be a time in which their bodies aren't in that shape anymore , and if they're believing the lie , then that that's where their beauty comes from . Then , in their mind , their beauty is going to one day fade away through motherhood , through getting older , through whatever the case .

And that's where that lie becomes incredibly nasty , that if you're buying into that lie at an early age , it's going to be really hard as you get older . So before definitely does something to men , but it also does something to women .

And the like manner also , that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel , with propriety and moderation , not with braided hair , gold or pearls or costly clothing , but which is proper for women professing godliness with good works .

And you know , ladies , just one thought for you to consider , especially you single ladies consider what kind of men are going to be attracted to a modest clothing .

Because if a man truly loves a Lord and is a godly man , he's projecting what his wife is going to be wearing in the future and how that's going to affect other men and how other men are going to look at her , and he's going to want a woman who conforms to 1 Timothy , 2 , 9 to 10 .

So what you may think is going to be the thing that draws and attracts men , you may be right about it , but it may be the wrong kind of men .

I want to go back to something Mark talked about , which is motherhood , and I think motherhood in the context of cultural power is something to really consider as well , because there are so many women out there in the feminist movement that would argue that becoming a mother is somehow taking away from the potential of cultural power and influence that you might have

. And yet in the scriptures , what we see is that femininity and power in the context of motherhood is not separate but together , and we actually know that to be true .

Looking just at like powerful leaders of the day , I mean like at the peak of Abraham Lincoln's success , at the peak of George Bush , at the peak of when Michael Jordan accepted his Hall of Fame induct , induct , induct , induct her nation . Induction , induction . Kevin Durant , lebron James , all of these cultural influencers of power at the peak of it .

Who did they think Mama , mothers , their mothers ? Which tells you that that there is power in motherhood , yeah , that there is cultural transformation and leadership in motherhood Based on raising your children . That is , that is true power , yeah , raising godly children for the culture .

It's pretty powerful , yeah , and that's why , you know , I wanted to touch on that , because how do you even begin to put a price tag on the impact that a woman has on her children in those early formative years as they're being shaped , and some sacrifice that to go pursue , you know , a Corporate ladder climbing career ?

And I'm just saying , look , of course , when we can work , I mean the proverb 31 woman , right , I mean she , she worked , she provided for her home . I mean she , she was industrious , she was a business woman , absolutely , but never at the expense of sacrificing your children . And I know we're . There's some women out there right now .

They're feeling deep pain because they're single mothers or or their husbands , you know , are struggling to provide and they have to work . We understand there are circumstances , but under normal circumstances it should be the passion of a woman to pour her life into these children that have been entrusted into her care .

and problems 31 . We see a prominent city elders wife who does . The key to whether a job is fitting or not lies solely in whether the job Helps or hinders her family . It's good .

And that that word , your desire shall be for your husband , can be translated Against your husband or contrary to your husband . I mean a lot of that .

He's got to step up and say honey , I know what's best in the situation . I love you and we're gonna do this and take the leadership role . I think a woman who's godly and has got a godly husband will see that his motivation is love . We're just talking before about women who dress to modestly attract certain types of men .

I had the thought that flesh attracts sharks . That's exactly what happens when a woman dresses to modestly , she's gonna get a certain type of man . What a picture . No yeah , and that's a good book title in the water .

I don't want to look , I don't want to look outdated , I don't want to look frumpy , I don't , I mean from frumpy , yeah , like kind of , you know , I don't know .

We're designed by God to be visually stimulated . It's just the bottom line . Men and women are different . You know , like a woman typically looking at some , you know , big buff dude most women Not awesome . Most women will tell you that doesn't really do anything for me .

I mean , that's why there's sometimes , you know , there's jokes because you'll see an extremely beautiful woman with an average or an Attractive man , thank you . And it's like that guy must have a great personality . Right as a joke .

Typically we're married up , yeah , but it's just that women that their mood , their attraction , is typically tied to personality and the character , and men are visually stimulated . So it's embarrassing for me . It's not something they want to talk about or say .

But I think if men can tenderly talk to the women in their circles friends , I'm talking especially young men , not a married woman but you know someone you have a friendship with , or your sibling , your sisters , and tell them hey , here's how men are affected .

That is a part of the fall . It's a part of pornography culture that we look at women in that way and that we ultimately Because I think even Christian men can turn women into a commodity when they think the only thing your body Does is either cause me to stumble or is there for me to procreate within the context of marriage .

That is a fallen view of looking at women , and so I think , for men , one of the best ways that we can lead women is to have a renewing of the mind when we move , when we move away from pornography culture , when we start stop looking at women as primarily physical bodies . What would happen if our disposition , what would happen if you're ?

You know like I can remember I got , I got saved in my college years and I remember going to church and there was women that were dressed in modesty and and the guys would gravitate towards them . They're the ones that the girl you know the guys wanted to be with .

What would happen if , in your church , cultural and context , the modest women were the ones that men were interested in pursuing ? What would that do to the other women around her where modesty is perceived as beauty and attractiveness ? How would that affect the culture of other women ? Would they start viewing themselves like oh , modesty Is beautiful , is good ?

So I think the way we look at women Can lead them towards modesty . When we look at them like we are savages and they are things to be conquered and we are just simply things that need to be tamed . We participate in pornography culture and so , yeah , I think leading by pursuing modesty as men is a wonderful way of discipling women into modesty .

That word really means respect . Don't let your dormant , be merely outward , arranging the hair , wearing gold , putting on find a peril . Rather , let it be the hidden person of the heart , with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit , which is very precious in the sight of God . And this doesn't deal with personality .

That there are women that that are more Outgoing and that are funny and that like to speak loudly . That this isn't what it's speaking to , just talking about the disposition of the heart . That there is this , this softness there , this Missiveness there , directly toward your husband , toward your father , and so it's so key to recognize that this is femininity .

Titus , 2 , 3 , 3 , 5 . The older women likewise , that they were be reverent in behavior . Not slander is not given a much wine .

Teachers of good things , that they admonish the young women to love their husbands , to love their children , to be discreet , chased homemakers , good , obedient to their own husbands , that the word of God may not be Blasphemed , and it's so many more passages , but you know proverbs 31 .

We don't have time , but but , ladies , look at that , read some commentaries on it , listen to some sermons on it , meditate on it and ask yourself am I conforming to that biblical type of femininity ?

We hope you've been encouraged , edified and blessed , and don't forget to check out all of our resources . Don't forget Ray's book on uh Daniel right , raise out what we said .

We'll see you here next time on the Living Waters podcast . The ultimate source wait what ? I Try it again it's the new tag .