Welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest this evening is a philanthropist and an author. Please welcome back to The Late Show, Melinda French-Gates. Hi, nice to see you again. Great to see you. We've had a chance to talk quite a few times over the years. Yeah. I always enjoy it. Last time we were together, We were both talking about just about turn six.
That's right. It happened. It happened. For both of us. It's about to happen to me again. I'm about to turn 60 again. How is the decade treating you so far? It's been fantastic. So exciting. Yeah. Oh, wonderful. I'll get there. OK. I'll get there. You also had a new grandchild since then. Congratulations. Do you really enjoy the role of grandma? What name do you have as grandma? My name is Nona from The Two Grandchildren, and I absolutely love it.
You get to swing on swings again. You get to play in a sandbox, run in the grass. So you're an engaged grandma. Definitely. Okay, that's good. My mom had 11 children, and so she loved our children very much, but she was like, what a lovely child that is. They can stay right over there. I get it after 11. You've got a new book. Yes. It's called... Transitions change and moving forward. And the first sentence in the book reads, I never expected to be writing a book like this.
So why did you write a book like this? Well, I was honored and I was lucky enough and honored to do the Stanford commencement speech in June. And when I talked to the seniors about maybe what I should talk about in the speech, they said. If you think there's room to leave openings in our life and not just be on one path, one trajectory we feel like we're on, can you talk to us about that? And so I did, and then I decided to expand that into a book.
You've always been a deeply private person. I'm sure if you're real... Linda French Gates. But how difficult was it to write about truly challenging things in your lives, like the loss of a dear friend? the end of your marriage after 27 years. Yeah. How did you feel about sharing that after being so private?
for so long. Yeah, you know, I thought it would be, first of all, disingenuous if I didn't write about the transition out of my marriage because people knew it had happened to me and it happens to, unfortunately, a lot of families. But I would say the chapter that was most difficult for me to write was the one about losing my friend in his 30s. In my early 30s, he was in his late 30s, and he died of cancer.
And so to go back over those letters between us and the photos of all the trips with he and his wife. that was really hard and touching. And I'm glad I did. And what did you get from reflecting on that? Because it can be so shocking and it can feel unreal and dreamlike for someone who's so important to you and part of your life.
to suddenly be snatched out of your life. You keep expecting them to come back in at any moment. You do, or you feel like you'll get an email from them. We didn't have text back then. My son has the same last name as my friend. It's Rory John, and my friend was John Nielsen, who passed away. And so it was really a poignant moment to have one person passing right as I had this new birth. But I was determined to learn something from it. And from John's...
death, I learned to live life backwards, which is how do you want to be remembered on your last day? And if I can always keep that in mind, Warren Buffett says, If you are loved by your family and friends on the last day and they know they loved you and you know that you loved them, you've lived a good life. And so I've tried to live my life backwards in that way. Beautiful.
Have you ever heard this one? Have you ever heard this one? That's about, like, reflecting on your life, in the immediacy of the moment in your life. Have you ever heard this? Ask yourself this question. If you were watching a film, of your own life at this moment, what would the audience be shouting at the screen for you to do? Oh, wow. Yeah. I don't know. What did you come up with? What? What did you come up with on that?
Exercise more. I'll take that one. Exercise more. Well, what did you learn about marriage by reflecting on this? Well, I learned that you were a famous married couple. We were. And but I learned, you know, to have a trusted relationship, which is what I wanted in marriage. Both partners have to be honest with one another. And if you can't, you can't have intimacy and you can't have trust. And so in the end, I had to go. And what do you do with...
And so then what do you do with that knowledge? Are you dating now? I am. How's that going? It's been pretty great. It's been pretty great. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, wow. Congratulations. Thank you. It's lovely. We have to take a quick break. We'll be right back with more Melinda French Gates, everybody. Hey, everybody, we're back. The author of the new memoir, The Next Day, Melinda French Gate. Being a champion for women...
Do you have any temptation to go up on a rocket of Jeff Bezos's? Definitely not. I'm glad Gail took one for the home team. Last year, you pledged to give a... a billion dollars away to people and organizations working on behalf of women and families around the world, including reproductive rights here in the United States. Do you feel that progress is being challenged right now, in this country specifically? I know it's being challenged. I was just down in Louisiana about eight weeks ago.
and to talk with women, particularly black women, going through our healthcare system trying to have a baby. and the challenges in the healthcare system now because doctors also don't know if there are problems with the pregnancy, where to refer them, what medicines they can give them. It's just caused chaos in the health system. And that shouldn't be. Not in this day and age in our country. That's ridiculous.
Anything give you hope? Anything, any positive signs that you see? What gives me hope is when I see the work going on on the ground and at the local level. So I'll give you an example. Right after Christmas, I went and saw an organization in Seattle.
where it's a hotline where new moms can call in. There's a series of trained therapists and volunteers, and they counsel women who are going through depression after pregnancy. And I was so inspired by the women who had started that. That's beautiful. I'm just curious. You talk about... The next day is about change and continuing to move forward, and that takes energy. That takes faith, and that takes hope. And what do you say to the people who are exhausted?
of fighting for the kind of progress that you're... Hoping to get yeah, I say one turn off your phone for a bit not all day for but for a bit and like I take time in the morning for quiet and reflection. It really helps me center for the day, for when hard things come.
And then I say to people, again, look for signs of hope. Look in your own community and see these amazingly beautiful things going on. And if you feel like you want to reach out to your senator, please do. Use your voice. We live in a democracy, thank God. We've got to keep fighting for what we want. One of the things I really like about this book is that it opens with Mary Oliver's The Journey, which I'm a huge Mary Oliver fan, and it closes with lines from John O'Donohue's For A New Beginning.
Do you turn to poetry often? Often. For comfort? Often. Would you have some favorite? David White. Pablo, you like David White? Lovely. I got a chance to meet him on... Oh, you did? Oh, I didn't. I've got several of his collections, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Pablo Neruda. And in my book, there's a young poet who I didn't know before the last two years, and her name is Maya. And I like her almost as much as I like Mary Oliver's writing.
Do you have a poem that comes to mind, something that you could recite for us right now? Sure. From the Maya quote that I really like is, when you come home to yourself... hope you see all the flowers lining the front porch of the woman you've been before. That's beautiful. The book is The Next Day, Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward. It's available tomorrow. Melinda French-Gates, everybody. more thing. If you want to see more of me, come to the Late Show YouTube channel for more clips