THE LAST SOVIET - The Lance Files

Are you ready all right? Y'all already know how I became obsessed with space as a kid after I saw a rocket launch at Cape Carnaval, and how from that moment I dreamt that one day I'd put on a space suit, squeeze into a teeny tiny shuttle piano funnel, and blast off into the unknown. But what you don't know is some of the crazy things that happened on my trip, like meeting buzz freaking Aldron and a bar

in Moscow. Yeah. So on this episode of The Last Soviet I sit down with one of my producers, Asia Folks, to talk about how my dream of going to space came true. Well almost from Kaleidoscope, iHeart and Exile content. This is the Last Soviet. We start in the spring of two thousand and two. N SYNC was about to go on a six month hiatus. I needed that break, but also it was like six months, what the hell am I going to do relax poolside with a Margarita. Well,

an American TV network had other plans for me. They were putting together a reality TV show where contestants would compete for a spot on a Russian Soyer's space rocket to the International Space Station and they were looking for a host, but they wanted that host to go to Space two. And then one day, the producer was sitting at home with a friend discussing where the hell they could find a celebrity interested in space, when suddenly his friends nine year old says, Lance Mass wants to go

to space. Turns out she was a huge InSync fan, followed all the interviews we used to do on AOL chat rooms. Remember those? Yeah, I'm that old. Anyway, it was because of that nine year old that one sunny day in Florida, I get that faithful phone call from my manager. And then that's when the phone call happened. And I remember I was in my house in Orlando. Cindy calls and says, Hey, I have a question, would you like to go to space? I'm like, what, okay?

And as I know, seriously we got a call and they want you to be the youngest person to go to space. And my first thought was, all right, Cindy, this is a joke because Punked was such a huge show at the time with Ashton Kutcher. Okay, here's what's gonna happen. We're gonna do something. Celebrity's gonna get pissed, and then we're gonna laugh at them. I'm like, Ashton

is punking me. This is a total punk, but I'm not gonna I'm not gonna bite and so yeah, that was the end of the conversation for a few days until Cindy called back again and she's like, so this is legit. This is definitely not an Ashton Kutcher. This is definitely not a prank. And that's when it just hit me that, Wow, am I really going to have this opportunity, an opportunity that I dreamt of my whole entire life, my first love, my first passion. And it

just took off from there. I mean, once you realize this is the real deal, You're not being punked, Ashton Kutcher is not involved, Like what's going through your head when you realize you might actually get to live out this thing that you'd been dreaming of since you were a little kid. I mean, the thing that was going through my head was, you know, it's just it didn't seem real. It was definitely surreal. I called my parents first,

because I just had to tell them. They knew my passion, and I also knew that my mom was going to be so against it, because you know, sending your son into space is not the best thing or a parent. I think it's very dangerous and scary. So I think her first reaction was like, no, you're not doing this, but just kind of like when I joined in sync, there was no stop in it. And the other thought going through my head was, wow, am I really going to be able to live out two of my dreams?

My two biggest dreams in the world, music and space? And how am I lucky enough to be able to do both of those weird, very opposite things. There was no thought that I was going to turn this down

at all, and I was just so excited. And I remember, you know, going back on tour just a couple of days later and telling the guys, and I mean I was, like, you know, a kid on Christmas morning, just so excited, and they were so confused, like what, Like they couldn't even be happy for me because they were just so confused on what was going on. Everything starts slowly coming together. The plans for your great space adventure. You've now told your family, you've told in Sync boys, it's time to

get into gear. Yeah, and the plan is this, You're going to spend six months of intensive cosmonaut training in Russia and then shut off to space in October two thousand and two. But before all that, you need to pass these very stringent medical tests in Russia. Right, and it turns out there's something wrong with your heart. Yeah. Before you go into training, everyone has to go through medical and it's where they study you for a good week. So I had my dad with me and a bodyguard

with me the whole time I was there. But they research everything about you. Every little inch of your body is studied, I mean everything. So I mean you're sitting there completely naked in front of like eight doctors standing on a table as they're like poking you and putting fingers where they shouldn't be putting fingers, and they just wanted to make sure that you're as healthy as possible because going to space is, you know, quite dangerous and

it's a different way of living. So one of the criteria for a cosmonaut is you have to have a regular heartbeat, and for some reason, I had an irregular heartbeat. I knew I had an irregular heartbeat. I'd been diagnosed without a few years earlier, but was completely benign. But that was the one thing that I did not pass. So I failed my first medical and it was because of the irregular heartbeat. And I was disappointed because I'm like, really, this is what's going to stop my dream of going

to space is an irregular, benign heartbeat. And so we found this doctor in Boston that wanted it to do an ablation surgery and said he thinks that he could fix this and see where it's misfiring. And ablation surgery what what is that? It's where they send basically these rods up your arteries, about five of them through your

groin and it goes up to your heart. You're awake during the whole thing, so there's all these television screens around your head and you're seeing the little cameras inside you and seeing where everything is, kind of trying to misfire. They're studying in it for I felt like hours. I'm listening to Harry Potter's book on tape, but I guess it was on CD then because it was two. Yes, it was the first time I had listened to a book before and it was Harry Potter. So I was

listening to that for quite a few hours. And then when they find the spot where it is misfiring, they will burn it. It feels like a match, like being put out on your heart. It hurt like hell, but you know, in the end it worked, and now to this day, I have a regular heartbeat. So going to space or not, I'm kind of glad I did it. You go through the surgery, it's you know, it's quite an ordeal. In Sync finally goes on its six month hiatus and you fly into Rush or you fly into

Moscow and you get to Star City. What are your first impressions of the place. Well, when I fly on to Moscow, it was just an overwhelming feeling because you see all the things that you've studied in history books and all these gorgeous pictures of Moscow. It was it was beautiful, So you know, I was a good tourist for good twelve hours when I first landed there. Of course, the first thing I tried doing was going to McDonald's because I heard that McDonald's was like the crazy thing

in Moscow, and of course it's stupid America. It's like, I want to see this McDonald which I did. So that was a fun sight seeing experience. I mean it was exactly what they said, completely packed, huge. I mean, people were fighting over McDonald's. It was a it's a big thing. And then of course seeing the Kremlin and all that. I mean, it's just, you know, just history right in front of you. I did do Saint Petersburg

for a weekend and it's gorgeous. But the places that I did see outside of those cities could not be more opposite of what those main cities were. Like, it's a completely different country. The wealth distribution is just insane. And then you go to Star City and first time I pulled up to is very intimidating. The gates, the walls, in the middle of a forest. You've been driving for it felt like hours to this just middle of nowhere place that looks like it is literally from the sixties.

And the first thing I noticed is how many guns, I mean so many military They always just you know, have their guns out, feeling like they're going to just pointing out you at any second. And then you get into the first gates and you just see this amazing city that you feel like, this is exactly what Gagarin saw, right, I mean, this is exactly the buildings he saw, This is exactly where he walked. If you just took pictures,

you would never know what decade it was. So just stepping back in time was really interesting and I just loved it. I thought it was just a beautiful feeling. So this all sounds really impressive. But what about you? Where did you fit into all of this? Tell me about where you were living. Oh? So, yes, I was living in one of the cosmonaut profies. This apartment complex again had been there since the sixties, chipped pain everywhere,

definitely wasn't kept up that great. There was no air conditioning, and when I got there, it was just the beginning of summer. You know, I'd always thought, oh, Russia's very cold, so I bet the summers are really nice. Oh no, it is hot as hell and there was no air condition and so you'd have to sleep with the windows open. But if you slept with the windows open, the mosquitos

would eat you alive. I mean so many mosquitos. So the first few nights I have to sleep with a little sheet over me, sweating my butt off and just hearing like little thumps and mosquitos trying to get to me. And then I'd wake up in the morning and I would just see my whole wall was covered in blood because of all the little splats that I would you try to kill all the mosquitos, And it was miserable,

absolutely miserable. It sounds like you weren't really given the star celebrity treatment, you know, right, So you were training with the Russians, you were living with the Russians, and you were getting ready to fly on a Russian Soyuz capsule. Yeah, but as an American, NASA actually also had to approve your flight, and there were NASA reps you had to meet and impress. How did that go well? I mean, especially at the beginning, you know, NASA didn't want me there,

you know, it was it was ridiculous. Oh my gosh, you're gonna get a pop star to come train and go to space, you know, that's a slap in so many astronaut's faces that have not flown or will never fly. So you know, a lot of you know, NASA definitely didn't want me there. They thought it was a bad look. And I remember the first time that I met with NASA officials right before I went into training. They wanted to meet with me, need to make sure that I had the goods right to do this, and so met

with them. I thought it was a great meeting, and then I find out later that, you know, they thought I was like Dama's Rocks, And they also thought that I was an alcoholic and drug addict because I was a quote unquote rock star, right, yeah, like have you seen our group? We're pop stars? Ed? Yeah, far from it. Because do you think there are any aspects of being a pop star, being a part of in Sync that prepared you in any way for being an astronaut? I do.

It's odd to say that being within Sync and what I did and trained within Sync, it really did help me with this space training, and I think that was started off with work ethic. You know, within Sync, we spent hours and hours learning how to dance and singing at the same time, which took us months to figure that out, running on treadmills and trying to sing. So conditioning was a huge part of just being an end sync. It was almost like a sport just because of the

way that we performed. So when I went to Russia, I was already ready to work hard. You weren't going to see me not paying attention and being exactly what they thought. I was going to be, this stupid little pop star that is an alcoholic. It's just too dumb to learn anything, you know. I was there to work and work hard, and then it wasn't until the very first week of training and all your tests or verbal tests and they rate you one to five and I

forget even what the first classes were. I know there was a lot of math involved, and I think it was the makeup of the soya is. I took it very seriously. It's amazing what you can get yourself to do when you're putting these situations, and especially if you're passionate about it. Yeah, And I feel like, especially if you have this sort of motivation of someone saying you can't do it, you know, you want to prove them wrong. Oh yeah, exactly. So I mean I was doing rocket sign.

It's my first week there, and I'm like, I'm going to prove you. I want to get to the training in just a minute. But before that, what was your sort of what was your impression of the Russians that you met at Star City? What did you make of them? The Russians that I met in Star City? The first thing that I thought of is they're just proud, very proud people. They're so happy about what they have there and what they've developed since the sixties and all their accomplishments.

I mean, they still talk about Gagarin in almost every sentence. That is their man. And I had heard of Gagarin obviously the first man in space, but as an American you don't really get two in depth with a Russian space agency and the whole Gagaran story because you know, it's a little embarrassing that they bear our country, so we have a little revised history sometimes when we study. I got to learn so much about Gagarin those first couple of weeks, and I was super impressed and became

a huge fan. And I felt that I felt just as proud as they did. But I loved it because they you know, I would say probably half the Russian Space Agency didn't want me there either. I don't know if they thought it might be a bad look. It could be something you can make fun of and make it the space program look a little less than that. They're allowing me to do this, but they never really showed that to me. They treated me like a cosmonaut.

You know, once you're in cosmaut training, you're a cosmaut, and they respect cosmonauts so much, and you felt special. You felt very very special. I mean, the guy who made my space suit made gagarin space suit. I mean, it was just amazing that the same exact people that worked with Gagaron or working with me this many decades later. What was a typical day in Star City? Like sort of talk me through your day from the moment you wake up. I mean every day in Star City, it

wasn't typical. The only thing typical was you knew you were up at five in the morning and you would

get back to your apartment by ten pm. So the days were super long, and you would have at the beginning of the week you would get your schedule and it always changed, and of course it was all in Russian, so I'd have to like figure out what exactly this it says because my Russian teacher only spoke French and Russian, zero English, and they thought just immersing myself in that would make me learn Russian a lot easier, But it's not. With zero reference, I had no idea what was going on.

So I knew how to conjugate everything in Russian, but I didn't even know what the word meant. So I had to start learning Russian on my own by watching you know, the local Sesame Street cartoons and that type of stuff. So yeah, so you know, I could conjugate and I could read it, but I didn't know what I'm saying. But thanks to Sesame Street, I knew the certain words, and mainly the things I needed to learn were just emergency words like there's a fire, you know,

things like that. I mean, it was tough. The language was definitely tough. Did you eat a lot of Russian food while you were over there? I was forced to eat a Russian food. I have a very stupid palette, I would say, especially twenty years ago. There's many things I wouldn't eat, even cucumbers, like that's how bland my taste buds were. That was the first time, I had cucumbers, and they love cucumbers over in Russian they do, yeah, and so there's the only thing I could eat and

actually enjoy and know what it was. They liked their shishka babs for sure, so that was nice. But they always made me eat this soup and it was horrible. I don't know what kind of soup it was, but that was the one thing at lunch they were always like forcing me to finish, So that was always strange to me. Yea, we get into this a bit in some of the other episodes, but I would love to hear more about some of the actual training that you

went through. So tell me about survival training. What is that. I feel like most of my training was about emergency and survival. So you know, when you come down on the soyas, sometimes you miss your mark and you don't know if you're going to land in the ocean or you're in a land in the middle of Siberia. You have no idea, one little mistake and you're halfway across the world. So you have to learn how to survive for at least a day in case they can't find you.

So one of those if you land in the forest is learning how to build shelter, make a fire, find food, what things are edible and not edible. That was a good I would say two week training Right there. I felt like I was back in the boy Scouts, which

was fun. And then the other survival training was they drop you in your Soya's capsule into a huge Olympic sized pool and you have to in a certain amount of time as you're sinking, get out of your skafand er your flight suit, which is very hard because you have all these bundles and your clothes and everything just kind of pressed up against you. Your whole body is

numb because you're kneesier in your chest. So then they drop you in this water and you have to get out in a certain amount of time, and it takes a while to get out of that space suit. And the first time they did it, I did it in a good amount of time, so I was very happy. They were happy I got out safe and I was able to move on to the next emergency train. You

also flew a fighter plane. Yeah, that was flying the Russian MiG was like that was one of the first days in Russia, and this was kind of my first I don't know, look at what it was like to be a Russian cosmonaut. They took me to this field where they had these fighter jets, and I didn't know what we were doing, but every cosmonaut has kind of a mentor cosmonaut, and so my mentor cosmonaut took me there.

And we first go to this airfield and we have a nice little lunch with some sandwiches and lots of vodka. And I did come to find out that the vodka thing is real in Russia. They drink it all day long, and they do it to celebrate. They do it too, oh we finished a class, great? Oh yeah, and they do it straight. So I'm having a couple of vodka shots and I'm feeling really good and he's like, okay, let's go fly. I'm like what You're like, I thought

we were having a picnic. Oh no, So you know, we're pretty drunk, and a commander's drunk, and he's like all right. So we take out a little flight plan and we're kind of drawing what we're gonna do, and I'm like, okay, this is great. Like I've never flown in anything like this, and obviously I have an amazing pilot. So let's do this. So we get in, we you know, take off, and then I realized that, no, he wants me to do the flight path. I've never I've never

flown a plane before. You know, he does it first, and we're doing circles and flips. It's everything you see in Top Gun. And now I realize, he's probably seeing how I can handle this, to see how I would freak out if I was calm enough to do this, and I was. I was not worried at all. Never dawned on me that this could be dangerous at all because I thought I was in great hands, which I was.

But then when I took over, it was amazing. I mean, I was doing all these flips and you know, you see in the movie where they go all the way up, then they cut the engine and then you fall down, and then they cut it back on and then just pull it up right above the tree line. We were doing all of that and it was amazing, absolutely amazing. But then you realize, wait a minute, he's drunk. This guy is drunk, So you know, I definitely you know, I knew the lever that I needed to pull in

case I needed to eject out of that thing. Let's just say that. So you're getting closer and closer to that October launch date. It's going to be you and two other cosmonauts packed into this tiny soy Use capsule and you were set to spend ten days in space at the International Space Station. Yeah, what was your role on the mission going to be? Although I was a quote unquote space tourist, it wasn't tourism like we think today. You know, when you go up, you float around, you

come back. Every cosmonaut on the soy is has a job because there's no room for anything else. So me, being in the left seat, I could reach buttons that they couldn't reach. So I was in charge of a lot of things that could easily ruin the mission or kill my crew members. So you had to take it

very very seriously. And I could understand, coming from their view if you thought that, oh my god, a freaking pop star that's dumb as hell like is now in charge of my oxygen like that, that can't feel very safe. It was your job to be the oxygen guy. Yeah, yeah, So part of my job was making sure that the oxygen was working right. You know. That was a lot to put on your shoulders, because that's very very important.

Oxygen is very important for a mission like that. But I think once we had trained together, they saw how serious I was about all of this, and I learned very quickly. What was that like for you? Kind of knowing that all these people underestimated you, you know they were they were kind of going like, ah, this guy, we gotta go with the Like how did that feel? It didn't feel much different from my real life. I've always been underestimated my entire life. I was always the

shortest kid. I was always like the low, total pole person. So I always loved proving people wrong and I got that a lot within sync. When we came out. We were so underestimated and made fun of and no one took a seriously and we just had to prove ourselves by being who we were. I want to shift gears a little bit. At this point two thousand and two, you were not out of the closet yet you were

hiding your sexuality even in the States. Yeah, and now you're you were in Russia, where attitudes are you know, a lot more conservative and where being gay could be potentially quite dangerous, and to dial back a little bit. I want to talk about an experience that you had before the training began as part of the medical tests. Yeah, you flew to Russia and you had to have a colonoscopy. What happened? How did that go? Yeah? That was an

eye opening moment. You know, I'd been used to hide myself my whole life, right, I mean, being gay in the States still was not accepted very well, even in two thousand and two. So my whole life, since I was five, I knew I was gay, and I knew I had to hide it, and very conflicted because I grew up very religious, so I always thought there was something wrong with me, and you know, I would never

act on it. But when I went to Russia, it didn't even I didn't even think about that because I'd already been living such a hidden life that I was an expert at it, so there was no way they were going to figure it out. But when I get there and it's medical training towards the end, you have to do a colonoscophy, and I didn't even know I was going in for this procedure because they didn't tell you anything. So they did the colonoscophy in front of

many people. My dad was there. Zero sedation. You just kind of laid down, went to your side, and they did it, and it hurt so much. You know, they were pumping the air into your stomach and it felt like there was someone like with a knife trying to stab outside, you know, to get out of your stomach. And I had some tears going down my face because it was just it hurts so badly. And they were just laughing, like the doctors were laughing, My translator was laughing,

and I'm looking at my dad. I'm like, so, what's funny? And then finally someone's like, oh, They're like, well, we now know that you're not gay, and I was like, oh, okay. And it was just such a joke, right, And and I'd heard several things throughout my training about gay people, right and making fun of gay people because it was such a macho atmosphere in this Cosmaut training, and you just kind of had to laugh along with them. But I knew then, like, WHOA, I need to really watch

what I say. So I was very quiet the rest of that training that that sounds awful, and it gives you kind of some insight into how pervasive and casual homophobia was in Russia, I mean is even more so probably today. But did that experience with the kolonoscopy did that put you off going? Did it make you reconsider? No, it never made me reconsider. I just thought, I mean, that's that's just part of it, and that's just what you had to do. You had to sacrifice a lot,

and I was I was ready for that sacrifice. And so this this obviously happened before before the training, before you moved to Russia, right you once you'd arrived, once you were living in Russia. How much was the kind of homophobia and hiding your sexuality, how much was that part of your day to day? How much were you thinking about that? You know, it definitely ran through my

mind every day I was there. I in fact had been you know, it was the first time that I had met someone, so I had already kind of started talking to someone and having a little relationship. So this is the first time I'd ever acted on something like this, and I knew that couldn't be found out. And I thought, Okay, can't call this guy, can't email this guy nothing. As long as I'm there, there's no way I can communicate because they're going to be watching what I write and

listening to every phone call that I have. But other than that, I didn't feel in danger at all because one I was stuck on a military base, so there's no way they were going to find out that I was gay. I didn't have any information out there that you could find to confirm that. And throughout the training, you know, it's just it's a boys club, it really is. At the end of certain classes and you have like an hour you would go sit in the big sauna where they kind of take branches and kind of beat

each other. They're with and you're drinking vodka, and it's just kind of this it's a it's a bonding time with your crew, with your professors. It's just the time that the boys bond. And in those bonding times, people are telling jokes and stories and laughing, and a lot of the times the butt of the joke would be being gay, you know, and I haven't just have to

laugh along with it. So Lance, you're in the middle of this very hectic training schedule, You're you're hyper focused, you're eating too many cucumbers than you'd like to be eating. But kind of in the background, of all of this, there are some financial issues with the project. What was going on behind the scenes. What was going on behind the scenes is still somewhat a mystery to me because I don't know how much truth I was being told. But what I from my view, this is what happened.

So I went there with this company that wanted to, you know, send the youngest person to space. And it was going to be a part of this television show called Mission Space. And they wanted their host, which I was going to host the show, to have gone through the training and gone to space because the winner of the show does the exact same thing, goes into Russian training and gets sent off to the ISS. And it was going to be a CBS show in America. And

then that's when they shipped me to Russia. And I just started training and again cut off from the world. So I was, you know, I was doing the cosmonaut thing, but entertainment they were doing their own thing. And I guess Russia and Hollywood don't really get along because Russia is all about the contract. You know, It's like this is how it is and this is how it's going

to go. And you know, Hollywood can be just very wishy, washy and shady, and I think that's what went down because Alexander Duretchen, who was the head of Anergia, which is you know, their Boeing and basically runs the Russian Space Agency, brought me into his office and he said, look, your name is not in this track at all with CBS or anything. And that was the first Time'm like, well,

well then why am I here then? And I just I still couldn't figure out why they would send me there, knowing that they were going to sandbag my flight anyway. But it pissed off a Nargia so much that they ripped the contract up and said, we're not working with y'all. And that's when they kicked me out of my first time. They kicked me out of the training facility and I had to go to Moscow. So you got kicked out

and you just went to Moscow? Yeah, I had to sit in Moscow for a weekend until they figured something out because they ripped the contract out and there was no reason I should be there because without that contract, no one was paying for me to be there. I mean, I was pissed. I was pissed at my agents. I was pissed at CBS. I mean, I'm here in good faith doing this and putting my ass on the line, being tortured every day, and here you are kind of

like playing with my life. And again, I don't know exactly what went down, but all I know is that part of the mission was canceled. It was done, and there was no TV show that I was hosting and all that. But immediately MTV popped on board and they knew it. We had already been shooting some stuff, so they're like, well, we'll just do an MTV doc on this because it's still the youngest person to go to

space as a musician. So they kind of picked it up immediately and we just continued that next week and they were on the line to pay for this. But then I went in for a few more months, finishing the training, and then it was I guess September, right before my launch or maybe early October, and apparently they couldn't get the funding they needed right before the mission because no one would cover a cosmonaut with insurance. That's

crazy that that wasn't sorted out before ying. Yeah, yeah, so you know, no one would fund a mission that can't be insured. No production can go ahead without it being insured. So that was the reasoning they said, we can't go further because we can't ensure you. And that was two or three weeks before my launch, and that's when I found out that my mission was canceled because of insurance. And it broke my heart. You know, I couldn't believe that I was two weeks short of getting

my certification. I had gone this far, and I'm like, are you kidding me? Like I did all this for nothing? Yeah, but how did it feel for you? Like the moment you found out it definitely wasn't happening. It was a dark moment in my life. You know, it was very depressing, and I feel like I feel like I still have a lot of depression over it because you worked so hard on something and just because of, you know, a couple of stupid people, it's just kind of pulled away

from you and they don't even care. They're like, oh, well, that's not my problem anymore. Next you just kind of felt thrown away. But then Russia said, well, if you want to finish the course, which is two more weeks, we'll let you finish it so you can get certified. So that you can go in case you can work this out in the future. You know, you can finish out this training, but you'd have to pay a million dollars.

A million dollars. Yeah, so I had to decide if I was going to pay a million dollars out of my own pocket to finish the damn two weeks training just so I can be certified, just in case I want to use it to fly to space in the future. And I did, and I'm glad I did. I mean, it sucked, but I needed that certification. You know, I had to leave there with something positive. But yeah, a million dollars to finish two weeks was a lot, but you know, I cherished that certificate and maybe I will

go one day. What was it like for you to go back to the US after all that training. I had so many emotions about it. One, I couldn't wait to get back to my home, my own bed, my family, you know, my friends. You know. That excited me. I

needed that normalcy again. But then the other side of me was embarrassed, embarrassed that I wasn't able to finish this mission that I was so excited about that I had completely stopped my life for that, I felt I stopped my whole business for once I got back to America, That's when I saw all the press about it. As long as I was in Russia, I didn't see the news. I didn't have a TV, I didn't read the papers, so I didn't know it was such a big deal

me being over there in such a news story. So I started seeing all the news stories about like how it was a PR stunt, and then I wasn't really over there, and then I get kicked out of Star City and I mean, just really making me look like an idiot. So you know, going back to that kind of darkness, and it was very confusing time, but it was life changing. How had you changed kind of physically and emotionally after the training? How had it changed you? I think it changed me a lot. I had the

best time. I would do it all over again, but I definitely came back a little I don't know, just scared. I guess. I don't know what it was, but I definitely had changed. I got quieter, and I was already a quiet guy, but I felt like I really kind of stood back and I'm like, okay, everyone's really kind of judging me at all times watching me at all times, like I just felt like the Russians were always watching. How do you feel now when you look back at

those crazy six months in Russia? I think it is one of the best times I've ever had in my life. Also one of the most devastating times of my life. Every emotion comes out. It was just no one will understand it, no one unless you went through it. You just don't get it. You don't get the pressure that was on you. You're raised thinking about a country a certain way, with all the relations between both countries. Your team America, right, and the Russians were the bad guys

for so long. But when you're there and you work with these guys, it was amazing to see all these countries working together, and all the bullshit that I had always heard just kind of washed away, you know, And I started understanding the Russians much better, and how they looked at everything in their beliefs, and to see how everyone really worked together and was such a team was a beautiful thing. Space really brought so many people together.

So Putin invaded Ukraine last February. Relations between the West and Russia are at their lowest since the Cold War. At this point. Do you think you'll ever go back? What would you like to I would love to go back to Russia. I would love to finally get on a mission, Soyer's mission, so I could go and train a little bit more for that see a lot of I'm sure there's so many of the same people still working there. It was a special place for me and I was so young, so I feel very connected to

Star City and everyone I worked with. I hope relations get better. A lot of people that know that I'm doing the last Soviet or like, are you sure this is the right time to, you know, do a Russian story. I'm like, well, this is the best time to do it. It shows you a slice of life from Russia and especially a time period where communism was falling. It's the perfect time to relive that and study that and educate yourself because what's going on now is not too different

from what is going on back then. And do you think you'll still go to space someday? I don't know if I'll ever end up in space, but I pray that I do. I really do. I just think it's one of those things that, you know, if I could cross that off the list, I would feel very accomplished. You know. I spent a lot of time training and putting myself through a lot of misery to you know, to get to the point where I could actually go, and I am coming so close you just taste it.

I won't be fulfilled unless I'm able to make it. It would be nice to just make it to Space. Fine, but my goal I want to live on the ISS. I want my ten days up there. I want to do my studies. You know. I don't want to just go up there and play around and float around and oh this was fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just I want to do something important and I want to, you know, take it seriously. And so my hopes are still there

that one day this will happen. I can't believe it's been over twenty years since those crazy six months and I still can't get them out of my head. I mean, Space just got under my skin and stayed there. No matter what I get up to in life or where I go, I can't shake its siren call. I mean, here, I am hosting a whole podcast about it, and on that. We're gonna leave my story for a bit now, and we're back next week with Sarah Gays, So I'll talk

to you then. The Last Soviet is a Kaleidoscope production in partnership with iHeart Podcast and Exile Media. Produced by Sama's Dad Audio and hosted by Me Lance Bass Executive produced by Kate Osborne and Mangesh Hada Kador with Oz Wallisham and Kostas Linos from iHeart Executive Produced by Katrina Norville and Nikki Ettore from Sama's Dad Audio our executive producers or Joe Sykes and Dasha Lisitzina. Produced by Asia Fuchs,

Dasha Litzitzina and Joe Sykes. Writing by Lydia Marchant, Research by Mika Golubovski and Molly Schwartz, Music by Will Epstein, Themed by Martin or String mixing and sound design by Richard Ward and special thanks to Nando via Well, Lissa Pollock, Will Pearson, Connel Byrne, Bob Pittman, and Isaac Lee. If you want to hear more shows like this, nothing is more important to the creators here at Kaleidoscope than subscribers, ratings, and reviews, so please spread the love wherever you listen.