Pushkin. Last week we shared part one of an investigation into the secret recipe for Thomas's English muffins. Today on the show, we joined forces with a legendary baker to try and reverse engineer the recipe and end the trade secret. You can listen to Revisionist History wherever you get your podcasts.
Enjoy the episode.
A while ago, my colleague Bendadaf Haffrey and I gathered to eat English muffins at the Pushkin office. Ben had the idea to do a story about the famous secret recipe for Thomas's English muffins. It sounded like a fun romp. Go for it, I said, have a good time, enjoy yourself. And then a couple months down the road, Ben recorded the following voice memo.
It's five sixteen am. I just had a dream where I was in an Airbnb with someone who was affiliated with benbo Bakers, who knew I was trying to reverse engineer the muffin recipe. He's this bald guy with a mustache, I want to say, he was wearing a card again. We were playing pool in this airbnb and he said, how much flour and how much water do you think we start with? Because if you tell me that, it'll tell me if you're even close to knowing how we do this.
It was clear that Ben had gone very deep into the nooks and crannies of this story, but this work was too important to stop. In case you missed our previous episode, let me catch you up. One of the most famous trade secrets of all time is the recipe for Thomas's English Muffins. It involves how they create their famous nooks and crannies, the most distinctive feature of a
nearly half a billion dollar product. The owner of Thomas's, Bimbo Bakri's GROUPO Bimbo, say this secret was allegedly known to only seven employees at the company, and they sued one of them to keep him from taking another job, which set off a whole race in corporate America to lock up as many trade secrets as possible. Soon the corporate world could look a lot more mystical and secretive. And all this had been many many years later to wonder how hard can it be to make a muffin?
So he set out to try and reverse engineer the famous Thomas's English Muffins recipe, as that are.
You one in the seven and it was the recipe and he notdded ah, and he was pretty mad at me, and he said, you're ero me after my livelihood.
You're coming after my livelihood, Ben. But it's too late to turn back. He's in too deep. He's told me he might even have to go to the CIA him. Malcolm Gleavell, you're listening to Revisionist History, my show about things overlooked and misunderstood. This season we've taken on a great many foes, the haters of paw Patrol, the absurd claims of RFK Junior, the lazy interviewing style of Joe Rogan.
But now we're taking on our biggest opponent yet, Big Muffin, because their trade secret represents a rising tide of secrecy that's coming for us all. And so we shall persist despite our nightmares. We must reverse engineer the English muffin.
And here it is.
The Muffin House three three seven was twentieth Street, built as a foundry circa eighteen fifty. Samuel Beth Thomas converted the ovens for his English Muffin bakery in the early twentieth century. I'm reading from a plaque in front of the house where the inventor of Thomas's English muffins once baked. It's in Chelsea, just a couple blocks from the offices of Pushkin Industries. Nineteen years ago, the owner of the first floor apartment was taking out a radiator. He lifted
up some of the floorboards and discovered a door. It was the remnants of Samuel Bath Thomas's oven. I was hoping somebody could show it to me. I rang the doorbell, no answer. Clearly Bimbo Bakeries had gotten here first. This was a recurring problem. I tried to hire some culinary researchers to help reverse engineer the trademark Nooks and Cranni's recipe, but Bimbo was a client. After all, they are one of the largest baking conglomerates in the world. I rang
a bunch of doorbells in no one answer. I sent a lot of emails that went unreturned. But a few grave bakers were willing to talk to me, at least about the Nooks and Crannies in general. For their own protection, we're not identifying them by name. So am I the muffin man or not?
I guess it's a question.
My question for you is is this like you're trying to create their exact products.
Yeah, can we make this exact English?
Okay?
The vibe I was getting was mild interest laced with a healthy dose of are you okay? It's fairly intriguing, but it's also something that's going to be super time consuming.
So I personally don't like Thomas English buffets.
You know, it looks like just a normal English.
Muffin recipe with you know, industrialized.
Ingredient, sorry, lesson than soy rye, soybean oil, sort of acid, those kind of things that are going to give it that gumminess to it.
The niok and creates come from holes in the dough, and holes in the dough from higher hydreation. Lots of good information on what makes a muffin an English muffin, but little enthusiasm for my quest to make one exactly like Thomas's. For me, this was way bigger than muffins alone. I'd learned that companies can use trade secrets as a way to control their employees. The muffin trade secret had put a man named Chris Botticella out of a job
Bimbo Bakeries. His employer claimed there was some deep mystery to how Thomas's English muffins were manufactured, and this, it seemed to me, had given them all too much power. My plan was to test a reverse engineered muffin against Thomas's to see if anyone could tell the difference. If not, that would end the mystical power of their secret. But I lacked the necessary skills to do this alone. One baker asked me for several thousand dollars to do the job.
That's not crazy, seeing as the secret recipe brings in almost half a billion a year for Bimbo, But for a complicated set of reasons involving journalists, ethics, and poverty, it was a non starter. I needed a true believer. I needed as zealot. I needed a superstar.
On this Donut Showdown, three superstar bakers elevate the humble donut to new culinary heights.
This is a clip from a twenty fourteen episode of the short lived Cooking Channel show Donut Showdown. If you've never seen Donut Showdown, congratulations.
Let's say hello to our competitors.
Three contestants compete in a variety of donut baking challenges for a ten thousand dollars prize. This episode featured a former architect, a pastry chef with a background in molecular gastronomy who says things like I'm the Overlord of pastry Overlord and Rachel Wyman, head baker at the Montclair Bread Company.
I've been baking since i was old enough to hold a pastry bag. I literally wrote my name with a pastry bag before pencil.
Rachel Wyman has a baker's warmth about her angular red hair, a little like Knuckles and Sonic the Hedgehog. She's a total badass. She's got a tattoo on her arm that says flower, water, yeast, salt. Of course she makes it to the final showdown. It's Rachel versus the Overlord of pastry.
At least one of your donuts must include avocado.
Rachel lands on avocado whipped cream on a treslatious donut with the sangree of filling. The food Scientist is going with a notcho flavored donut. To my mind, these both sound disgusting, but in the midst of it all, Rachel is having a beautiful mind moment with her flower.
The flower that I'm used to using is about eleven percent twelve percent protein and my options were a nine percent protein or thirteen percent protein. So we had to lend the flowers together. The last thing that I want is to send the judges chewy donuts.
It turns out that Rachel is a doe genius.
But was it enough?
Rachel? You made two perfect doze, but your sangreea filling was a risk that didn't pay off. The winner of this donut showdown is Rachel. Congratulations, and you're one the ten thousand dollars.
Frize, Rachel. Rachel gets emotional. I get emotional because what I see before me at last is a baker who just might be crazy enough to take on the secret recipe for Thomas's English muffin. I look her up. She teaches baking and pastry arts at the Culinary Institute of America, the most prestigious culinary school in the country, the CIA.
So what I was going to tell you a couple things because I neglected to send you anything about me. I used to do recipe development for a company that created products for grocery stores all over the country reverse engineering. It was like my jam Oh, I'm saying, yeah, this is exactly what would happen. They would bring me a sample of something they wanted, and this was Wegman's and Target and.
Whole Foods and.
Yeah no, so I made the bread on the cheesecake factory table.
Oh my god, So I lived in this space that you're doing this story on.
I didn't even know that this was a space. I mean, it is a big space. Rachel checked in with the CIA green light. She and I were going to reverse engineer Thomas's nooks and crannies. The trade secret of the muffin involves the process, recipe and machines, but any major baking company knows how to make bread at scale. It's the principles behind the nooks and crannies that were the key thing. We began to have regular debriefing calls.
I I'm driving home from school, so uh yeah, it's.
Going really well.
Rachel was all in. She even enlisted her students in the effort.
And I have so many English muffins in the classroom.
The first recipes were a bust, no nooks or crannies.
The inside of the Thomases almost reminds me of like a dense pancake, you know, like a batter that's almost poured, so we decided that we need to add more hydration to our dough. We're gonna overprove it on purpose, so it sits a little flatter on the griddle. Our our's got a lot of loft, so we kind of have to make them a little crappier.
But making things crappier turned out to be a bit of a challenge for Rachel.
Like, the difficulty is that the Thomas's muffin is gray and ours is uh not, So I think I can.
Just get a lower quality flower and work with that. And also I've been buttering the griddle, but like also we're using you know, clu.
Gra like eighty four butter flat butter. It's like super yellow. I mean, so I need to get I think I'm just gonna oil it.
And then the students even pointed out there's no butter in the ingredient decks, so they're not using butter on any surface.
So I'll just use the same oil.
Students are keeping you honest.
I know they are, they really are.
I mean the flavor yesterday was amazing, but not like Thomas, And they're like, chef, you just need to make it taste worse.
Rachel and her students kept tinkering for about a week. Every so often she'd send me photos their muffins went from a flat surface on the interior to these big, uneven lunar craters. I was starting to think that maybe this really was a secret, uncrackable recipe. But then Rachel sent me a photo of two muffins riddled with these small, deep, perfect nooks and crannies. Other than the color, I couldn't
tell a difference between the classes nooks and crannies. And Tom it was time for me to come up to the CIA at Hyde Park to meet her in person, finalize the recipe, and then put it to a blind taste test to see if she'd actually pulled it off. Like all the great American culinary schools, the Culinary Institute of America is in a fight to the death with federal law enforcement acronym versus acronym, the CIA versus the
Central Intelligence Agency. You would think that at some point in its nearly seventy five years of existence, the President of the Culinary Institute of America would have said, you know what, our acronym has become a distraction. It's the American Culinary Institute. Now you can have it, Spooks, take the bugs out of my office. Stop following me home. But no, the Culinary Institute of America is not changing its name for anyone. I took the train up in April.
The campus sits along the Hudson River in Hyde Park, New York, on the grounds of an old Jesuit novitiate, gracious brick buildings. Photos of famous alumni on the wall, Anthony Bourdain. It's a kind of culinary temple, little chapels, vaulted ceilings, stained glass. The doors to the main hall have a crest with three griffins in the school's motto, sybas vite est Food is Life.
There's a reoccurring female around the campus too, of like what came first, the chicken or the egg.
And getting a tour from baking business student Hannah Dawkins. She was graduating in a semester and was filling me in on campus lore. Do you have a strong position.
Yeah, I feel like the egg definitely came first.
We were walking through a library, one floor of which is all recipe books organized according to a system I had never before encountered, nutrition, gastronomy, kitchen equipment. As we walked through campus, I noticed all the pedestrian crossing signs had a cartoon person in a chef's hat a toque, which, true to life, was what everyone wore or the teachers, at least the students all had these small skull caps on.
You know you've chosen a great profession when only at the highest rank do you get to wear the silliest hat. We entered the baking building.
So in this class they learned how to do sugar work, chocolate show pieces.
And fondon.
So that swan is totally made out of sugar.
Why is she using a steamer on her cake over there?
It gives it like a nice, like glossy look.
It was becoming clear to me that this is the greatest college in America.
This is contemporary Cakes, Chocolates, Advanced baking Principles, Late of Desserts class. Like there's the freshman what at fifteen at other schools, I would say, being at the culinary, it's more like a freshman fifty.
The plan was to use CIA students as guinea pigs in our muffin test. Could they tell the difference between the reverse engineered muffin and the real Thomases except as handan toward me around in campus. I was slowly realizing that this particular audience of testers might be a little too smart.
My experiment was essentially testing a claim that adding baking soda to onions when catamalizing them can reduce the cook time in half.
I wanted to look at how refrigerating cookie dough before baking is going to affect the final alcohol.
Differences between ricotta made with vinegar, citric acid, and lemon juice.
So you even know that you could make that you made ricotta with any of those things.
Yeah, so you make ricotta with an acigilant.
So that's an acid A sigilant who says is vigilant. Even the school's fight song was inscrutable.
Okay, so it's mirror pwa mere pae dice about chop it up, put it in the stew.
She could not believe I didn't know the meaning of the word mirror, plaw. Do you know the meaning of the word mirror, pa? Well, as I learned, it is a ratio for soup base two parts onion, one part carrot, one part celery, and four parts esoteric.
You're welcome.
And here I was thinking these food geniuses could be fooled by my taste test. I headed over to Rachel's classroom Bakeshop nine. Rachel was communing with the muffin dough.
Like every time you stretch gluten, it freaks out a little bit, and you have to let it rest so that it will relax enough to do the next thing.
I took the dough.
Out of the refrigerator and I have.
Flattened it into a pan, so it's the right thickness for our muffins.
If anyone could pull this off, it was going to be Rachel. We were making lush muffins from two recipes. She'd created one using the ingredients listed on the Thomas' package, including vinegar. Now having that list is helpful, but the ingredients only tell you so much. Baking, like mir Pois, is all about ratios and process. Rachel was making a second batch with sour dough, which was her own spin.
We were going to taste both see which was closer to Thomas's, and then put it up against the real thing in the blind taste test.
I can open this one to this pert.
That's pretty amazing.
Look at that. That looks really good.
It's a little bit I don't see a difference.
I don't see a difference.
Oh my gosh, look at that.
They look identical. But it was amazing. I called the students over to see what they made of it. Do you really think this is going to work? I actually do. I do very optimistic because I just by looking at them, they look completely like the exactly the same. We ran a mini test where the kids tasted the fresh muffins against tom misses, and I quickly learned that they did not think as highly of Thomas's English muffins as I did.
So, I don't like English muffins.
Doesn't it taste like so? You just spat it out.
I've never liked English muffins my whole life, because this is what I've always been offered.
It smells like box, like cardboards.
Do you think if it gets stale there might be a chance we pull this off? Other people can't tell.
I think it'll be pulled off.
Well.
The key was to let our muffins get stale so they matched Thomas's. Rachel had made a batch the day before, which she'd left out in the open for this purpose. For the test, we were going to cut the muffins into sixteenths and put them in egg cartons. That would give us enough samples for about one hundred tests. But as we cut up Rachel's muffins from the day before, it was clear that they were a little too crusty. We left them out uncovered, and they'd gotten very stale.
We were both worried, and then Rachel found a bag of muffins under her desk.
These have been sitting in a bag for like all week.
So these are the same as the final recipe.
These are the vinegar recipe.
Look at that it looks like exactly like a Thomass. It looked exactly like a Thomas's, and to me it tasted exactly like a Thomas's. We began furiously slicing them up. This kind of last minute, dramatic switch of the plan is exactly there's two minutes until the test starts. We finished right on schedule. We wheeled our samples out into the packed student cafeteria.
You know, it's like when you when your kids play sports and you're like super nervous for them, even though it has no bearing one.
It was time to pit our formula against the greatest culinary minds in America. Cue the fight song. Hello everybody, My goodness. At some point in your life, I hope you experience a moment so absurd, so profoundly unrecognizable, that you have an out of body experience. For me, that moment was standing in the cafeteria at the CIA, addressing a crowd of culinary students in white uniforms and skull caps regarding the several hundred egg cartons I had filled
with English muffins. So in each of these cartons there's a slice of English muffin. Two of them the same, are the same, one of them is different. Using tastes, I want you to tell me which number is different. I had marked each muffin section with numbers like three h two, three forty eight and one twenty nine blinding codes so people wouldn't be biased by ABC or one two three. In each test, you either had two Thomases and one Rachel's or two rachels in one Tom misses exactly.
I knew which numbers marked the odd muffin out. The goal was to see if they could tell. If they could, we'd failed, which one do you think is different than the others. That was a wrong answer, but most of.
Them excuse me.
I think it was five thirty four.
That's different. Three ninety nine is different.
It's one o nine, pretty sure, it's one four.
Two one two is stretty Quickly it became clear that we were on track for over sixty percent of people correctly guessing which muffin was not like the others. This was not working. We're getting smoke so far, we're destroy It looked like our entire plan was going to fail. We took on Bimbo Baker's legendary trade secret, and just like in Biambo Bakeries versus Cris Botticella, we were losing and the secret was winning. We'll be right back. I want to leave the muff and test for a moment
to tell you about a rabbit hole. I fell down while researching this episode. I was trying to articulate why the idea that the nooks and crannies were a trade secret bothered me so much so I began studying other trade secrets and secret recipes. One of the most famous is for lequeur called chartreuse. Chartreuse has been made by a French monastic order, the Carthusians, based on a mysterious recipe that was gifted to them in sixteen oh five. This recipe is a very closely guarded secret. Nooks and
crannies for fancy cocktails. I learned that one of the Carthusian monks who'd been in charge of chartreuse production had left the order and now lived in New York City, so I wrote to him. His name is father Michael Hollerin. I visited him at the parish offices of Saint Monica's Church on the Upper East Side just a few days after Easter. What is known about the origin of that recipe?
No one ever seems to have researched it. We never knew anything more about it trying to trace it back further. I've never seen anything on that. But the main reason that it's different is that that it is a secret and has been kept a secret all this time. Is because it was simply for the support of the monks. They were pure contemplatives. There was no sense that we want to become rich with this, we want to make
a name for ourselves. No, all we want to do is support ourselves, so you don't have to worry about, you know, outside support. We can support ourselves. And I had to be kept secret so obviously, so people wouldn't steal the forma and make their wrong.
Originally, Chartruse was a health flixer. People took it for all kinds of ailments, apoplexy, toothaches, palpitations, indigestion, fever. Eventually the monks dropped the elixir claim and it just became a liqueur. But it still has this weird power. When I drink it, I tend to have strange dreams. It has a spicy, sweet complexity, and its color is this vivid or in green.
There's a whole cabinet in Boaron of counterfeits, controfessor of people who tried to steal it. But there have been efforts to use the name or use something that duplicated the formula in some way, which of course is impossible because it's so complex, very complex. You can't just, you know, set up a shop and make it.
Father Michael told me he was the first American Carthusian ever in the nineteen eighties. He lived in France at the Grand Chartruse Monastery in the Unforgiving Mountains of the French Wilderness. The Carthusians are famously silent order and Father Michael was restless. So the monks put him in charge of chartreuse. It's not easy to make. There are one hundred and thirty herbs that are treated in a number
of different ways. The recipe is kept on sheets and sheets of old paper that now Father Michael had access to. But eventually, when he left the Carthusian Order and came back to the United States with that recipe in his mind, the monks just let them walk away. I'm curious what if you could tell me about the process of leaving the Carthusian Order and whether there was any sort of effort to make sure that you never share the recipe, or how it was conveyed to you that you should not spread this.
Absolutely nothing nobody ever told me not to where, nobody ever expressed fear that I might, Nobody ever threatened me that I shouldn't do it. They simply trusted that I wouldn't, And of course I wouldn't, you know, because you know it was dedicated to them and to the to the order. The other thing is that you know it's still complicated to make anyway. As I said from the beginning, I could never could never really do it, nor have I
been kidnapped. People A lot of a lot of people know that that I know the recipe, the.
Formula for Chartruse really is worth money. It's kept the Carthusians afloat for centuries. But when Father Michael left, they didn't threaten, punish or sue him or tell them not to join another order, because the secret was a bond between them, not a tool for control.
It's a it's a mysterious formula, but it's the service of an even greater mystery, which is the monastic life and people finding community together, you know, in silence and solitude, to find union with God. So it's at the service of a real mystery. It's even greater than the formula for sure.
Truth.
Is there in your mind a hierarchy between a secret and a mystery? And how would you how would you illustrate the difference if there is one.
Well, a mystery, I think I haven't thought of it, But I think the mystery is a broader concept. You speak about the mystery of God, the mystery of life, not just like a mystery that you would read a detective mystery. Mystery is not something that's that you don't know, something that's unknowable in rational terms, and.
A secret can you know and someone could.
Yeah, and a secret is just can be something trivial, but a mystery in its original sense. It's just something that's very deep and wonderful. It can never be conceptualized, but has to be lived.
I realized that that's what bothered me about the idea that the nooks and crannies were some legendary trade secret. Not just that an English muffin is mostly flour and water while chartreuse has one hundred and thirty ingredients, but that Thomas's English muffins have all the mystification of a monastic order and none of the mystery. It debates mystery
and puts it in the service of corporate control. Maybe that all sounds like a stretch to you, But it turned out Father Michael was closer to my story than even I had realized. I told him about our reverse engineering project at the Culinary Institute of America and he said, wow, oh really.
Well, before it became the CIA, it was a Jesuit and the vision.
He used to live on the grounds of the institute.
Yeah, we closed it. We were the last class there. We closed it in nineteen sixty nine. I lived there for two years, and we closed it as a jesuit and the vision in sixty nine, and that's when the CIA took it over. That's where I first tasted the mystical life. You know that the life of union was gone, and I didn't realize, Wow, this exists. We weren't taught that in grammar school or even in high school.
Did you catch that where I first tasted the mystical life. When we ran that first test in the CIA cafeteria, it failed, I felt like we'd let everyone down. In the end, about sixty one percent of people could tell the difference between our muffin and Thomas's. The perfect result would have been thirty three percent. But then we ran one more test. The next is a paired preference test, which will tell us which they like better. Our first test told us if people knew the difference between our
muffin and the real thing. It didn't tell us if the difference was good or bad. But now we were running a test called paired preference. We used up all those old vinegar based muffins Rachel found in her bag, so we decided to use her sourdough recipe instead. Thomas's was number one hundred and forty two and Rachel's was five ninety eight.
I like five hundred ninety eight, five ninety eight, five ninety eight eight, five hundred ninety eight.
Nearly eighty percent of people preferred Rachel's recipe.
Five ninety eight has like like a slight salty taste, like a more flavorabul.
So no, we didn't perfectly reverse engineer the secret recipe and process for a Thomas's English muffin. Rachel and the students at the CIA spent a couple of weeks reverse engineering an old secret recipe, and they made a muffin that had the exact same nooks and crannies. It just tasted way better some secret. When I started working on this story, I reached out to the defendant in the case, Chris Boughticella, the baking executive Bembo accused of trying to
take the secret muffin recipe to a competitor. In all the many pieces I'd read on the case, I'd never seen a.
Quote from him.
For a long time, I couldn't reach him. Then a few weeks after I got back from the CIA, just as I was about to put this story to bed, I finally heard from him. After a few letters and emails. Chris and I spoke.
On the phone.
I'm Italian, you can obviously you know here from accent.
He told me how he'd gotten into baking, working as a kid at the same baking company his parents did when they immigrated from Italy. After we'd gone over some details of the case, I asked him how he felt about baking.
Now, I love baking, you know, so the answer is that to you, yeah, I still love baking.
I just don't like what happened. And yeah, I love baking.
Why do you love it?
Well? Because you know, I think I am one of the best bakers around, and in your vein, it's not only the blood, but it's flour. I love it.
Chris told me he actually thinks Bimbo is a good company to work for. He just wound up in a bad situation. Towards the end of our conversation, I asked him how he felt about that secret recipe at the center of the case. I was expecting he'd be reverent about the nooks and crannies, like Father Michael with the formula for sure, truce.
No, Ben, listen, it's a bullshit.
A muffin is a muffin.
It cannot be the freaking difficult to produce. A muffin is a muffin.
Youri and Chris say this a couple of months ago would have saved me a lot of time.
Every person that does the mixing of the product can see it. So it's not a secured formula that they keep secret, you know, in a bold somewhere. It's it's left on the floor. It's really nobody knows the format.
Bimbo Bakeries hadn't replied to repeated requests for comment by the time we recorded this episode, but by now I could believe this secret recipe was all nonsense. The best secrets bring us together. They bind us like a monastic order.
They don't trap us. I suspect that even if someone got into that monastery and stole the full recipe for ur Truce, people would still rather get a bottle of it from the monks themselves, because the secret means something coming from them, tied as it is, to an even greater mystery. That's why Bimbo's still pretending these are Samuel Thomas's English muffins a century after his death. But these Thomas's nooks and crannies now They're just a bit of marketing.
If that somehow became a legal standard. Anyways, the best way to protect your nooks and crannies isn't the trade secret. It's opening your muffins with a fork a knife just ruins the whole thing.
The secret recipe for Rachel Wyman's improved Toms's English muffins can be found in our show notes. We've put the vinegar version in there too. If you want the authentic Thomas's flavor, leave them in a bag for a week so they get stale. The key thing is to overproof and refrigerate the dough. Why just ask Rachel, Well, if.
They were kept at room temperature, it would be kind of like this.
It wouldn't have enough body.
I guess it slows down the fermentation, so yeast.
It's like a toddler. If it's warm and you give it sugar.
It's going to go crazy and then it's going to die.
You you give your kids sugar, but you just keep them very cold.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, totally, and then and then they slow down, so.
Yeah, yeah.
Revision's History is produced by Ben Dafhaffrey with Lucy Sullivan and Nina Bird Lawrence. This episode was edited by Julia Barton, fact checking by Kate Ferby, original scoring by Luis Kara. Mixing and mastering on this episode by Echo Mountain. Our executive producer is Jacob Smith. Production support from Sarah Buguer and Luke LeMond at Pushkin. Thanks to Karen Schakerji, Jake Flanagan, Greta Cone, Sarah Nix, Eric Sandler, Amy Hagadorn, Kira Posey, Morgan Ratner, and Jordan McMillan.
Special thanks to Chelsea Burgess, Jonathan Frishtick, Susan Reed, William Woyse Weaver, Corey Theodore at the Anti Conquest Baking Company, Becky Cooper for introducing me to Shartruce, Julia Conrad, Robin Dando and Jonathan A. Zeer Foss for helping us with our triangle test methodology, and all the students at the CIA Happy Graduation. I'm Ben Mattafaffrey.