He'll f X Games Final four. Before you ask the next question, did you know that Mexican food comes from Mexico.
I know that because of Tito Santana.
I know that because I can walk out my front door, walk ten feet and there's a taco vendor right there serving homemade tacos with homemade tortillas.
Not the stuff they have here in America. I mean that stuff, for the most part, is complete shit.
I'm not talking about Taco bell I'm talking about real Mexican tacos. I'll tell you what I think. It's very appropriate if you do think that Mexico is a third world country, because I'm a third party candidate and I represent the third worlds. While we were shooting Predator, Arnold got me into stogies, my habit. I enjoyed it this day. It's very relaxing after a long day to put your feet up and disappear into a sweet smelling cloud of smoke.
Yeah, I'm sure he does quite a bit of that. These days.
I like to roll myself a fanny.
I'll go into a local bodega and older blunt papers. I don't give a fuck.
I don't even speak Spanish, and they say I have to do it with my hands and say give me a fucking blunt, motherfucker.
There was one day and seventy eight that you freed your pants and and a beautiful soul came into this world, your firstborn, and I wish you could.
Call it was Jade? Or was that tie round.
You?
You tell me, Jess, I can't be sure?
Are your fire? O?
Uh oh what do you mean?
I went back? I actually I actually had a few dreams down there. So you went back to Vietnam?
Uh huh oh?
Old things came out? I went back. I went back. You know, why don't you say you went? You know you had a flashback?
Oh?
I went back. I went.
It's almost like I went back in a flash.
I went back to my room.
Are saying you had a flashback?
Son?
Can I help you with that? Turn a phrase? What the hell? The podcast on Speak Speak Straight? The hell is.
Got your damn hair? Anyway, I went back. Steve, Hey, did you see how scared mean Jean was. He knew how good an announcer I was, and he was scared that his job might be in jeopardy.
He knew I was gonna call him on his bias.
I said, fuck you, Jean Huh, a little bitch.
Yes, cou'd you say to him? I said, fuck you Jeane Huh, your little bitch nice?
You know what'd you do if I kitch you in the balls? Right now? Little man? You know, when I interviewed him at the Rainbow Grill, he was shaking his boots. The greatest talker in the world of wrestling. That's how I got involved in commentating the WWE knew the way to get ratings up was to get the greatest voice in the sport on the air. You know, I may not be the world champion Hulk Hogan is, although that's only a matter of time.
Oh geez, there we go.
But there's no doubt I do the best commentary work in wrestling. Chump Hogan. Now, Chump Hogan. You know, bitch.
Jess, we just needed to say chump from gott now on. We're never gonna keep it any you know. But here's the thing, Hulk Hogan's a bitch. I just heard Randy Savage say fuck six times on a promo.
You why are you persecuting me when you got fucking Randy Savage out there saying fuck all the time?
And speaking of which, what kind of royalties am I making on these tapes now that I'm on an asare Huh.
Here's the thing? Yeah, what am I making for? You know? What am I getting on the back end? Right right? You know I should be getting you know, as talent, we should all be getting points.
Get getting it?
Where in the back end?
What's up? Boss?
Why is it not okay for me to form my own militia and go attack people overseas?
Well?
Jes we can start with the UN, But.
The UN is a man made organization.
As our own organizations, that's right, including the nature.
Well, we're talking about the law of man or the law of nature.
I think I was in the middle of making this convoluted point about, you know, targeting like Syrians, civilians in Syria, and then you said, why can't I fool my own militia and go attack other countries?
Whoa, whoa, whoa? Hold the phone? What just where's your head at? I've got a fucking led screen for every wall to my house one hundred inches off the grid, all right, off the grid. I live in a video box.
Hey, hey, you know what, I'm off the grid, but I make sure I know what's going on on the grid. I could be anywhere at any time. Nobody knows.
Just follow the trailer, pork Shota.
Yeah, they don't want me in the debates.
Said Ventura, stroking his chin thoughtfully.
Now I can have so many people voting for me. Right now, I'm gonna tell you right now, I could easily win the president in chief. I wanted it easy. I don't even need the debates. I'd win.
Oh.
I thought the whole reason you lost was because you weren't in the debates. Okay, well this is a different story. You're saying.
Yeah, I just don't want to be in it. I don't want to be president. I mean, who wants that job. I was governor of Minnesota for four years. There was a miserable experience. Why would I want to be president that I could be if I wanted to, you couldn't stop me, and I could be president off the grid. You know, Chico Santana was nothing but an overrated taco salesman.
No, he doesn't. There's no way it says that.
It says that.
It says that, it says it does not say that it says it.
I'm pulling it up now. Is it number three, number four on the right hand column. Second telling me Chico Santana is nothing but an over Chico Santana.
There's nothing more than but an overrated taco salesman. In fact, you know what, I hired him to work outside the street of my of my U where I live right on the beach, serves me tacos every morning, breakfast, tacos, lunch, tacos, dinner, tacos, Tacos in between.
Tacos in between My Life off the Grid.
It's my eighteenth conspiracy book, Tacos in Between My Life Off the Grid.
I was in the delivery room with Terry the whole time.
I faced even in between her legs. I saw him as he came out of her vagina. He smiled at dad act.
I was in the delivery room with Terry all night because he just couldn't be convinced. I wasn't about the double classing.
I said, Terry, I'm not even the father. I'm not even the father of the child. It's your child, damn it.
I'll get that mimber of commercial.
Why do middle like, dude, Why brother, I need to see you at all times?
But Terry, but Terry pipe my wife is about.
To give birth. Terrry, I've got a duel. I've got to do a promotional campaign for abraxis.
Jerry, my wife is about to give birth towards the sun? Oh yeah, brother, what's his name going to be doing.
Time?
It's so disappointing that he calls him tie. You know how many times that leans he didn't say Tyrell, that he could have.
Tyrell. What the fuck are you doing over there? Oh my god, I'm the governor of Minnesota. You can't do shit like that. You know. I'm watching Kroud Creamer and all of his crick and all this stupid fucking crooked politician friends, those good old boys trying to run me out of town. And you know what, I'm going to reform this damn fucking community. I'm going to reform Brooklyn Park. I'm going to become a third party candidate.
Yes, a reform party.
Candid in third party. I'm sitting here talking about the Brooklyn Park City Council and James Krout Creamer and all of those stupid fucking cunts there on the town exactly.
And that's it, sight unseen, never to be said again.
Those mother fucking cunts the city council.
Hunt Creamer, take down, take that one can sit on that one while.
Hey, hey, James, James, what's it? What's it like being up there? James? Cun creamer? Like being mayor of Brooklyn Park. Cunt Creamer, what that is? You're a piece of ship, all right. I'm watching you from over here and all of you. I'm I'm campaigning against you and all of your cunt friends.
Incidentally, cunt Creamer. Also incidentally, Lee Marshall nickname with Jesse Evan Toura film spelled f e e U l M feeling.
Yeah. I exploited that leverage for years.
Jesse, can you please stop calling a WWS match?
There were no One time I threatened to break Arnold's arm. I said, you can't do it right. Exactly, I can do it because I'm the body. Do you know what he did? When he was in town for the inauguration. He went down to his restaurant playing in Hollywood in the Mall of America, and he met with his staff of chefs and came up with a new menu item, the Jesse the Mind Melt sandwich. It's delicious, A big sleigh ab of cheese covered beef with a bit of a spark to it.
Describe the dish again, please.
Ahead, A big slab of change.
I'm always so appetizing.
A big slab of cheese covered beef with a bit of a spark to it. Now, before I brought in Barry, the standard was that if a wrestler wanted to have an agent, he'd get fired. But my popularity gave me leverage. Leverage, leverage, yeah, leverage, not going here, leverage.
Lege, leverage. My popularity gave me leverage.
I don't know if it's too much work. We can in that voice? Can you do the thing where he was talking about how in the hole that was already? That was a clip of him here.
You I heard I shined before I came back to work with Rench. I shined for the warning man. I heard my ash.
Somehow.
Now it sounds like someone's gonna end up bed.
I had my dagger in. Somebody's bad got it?
Men?
Show your navy, you how you should be a show? Oh? I sure have been Vietnam. Vietnam?
Has our government told us the truth about that war?
Jess?
Our government never. Our government never tells me the truth.
Just you. That's a new one. I never said the government doesn't tell the truth. I said it never tells me that. I said, they never tell me the truth.
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