Hey, this is Lapse Jesse the Body Ventura. I understand that the Lapsed Fan wrestling podcast, despite being a United States based podcast not recording out of Mexico, is up for an award. I understand that they are up for the Sports Podcast Award for Best Wrestling Podcast. That's exciting news. But you know why I'm a fan of the Lapsed Fan. It's because they're a third party podcast. You know, That's the whole thing about it. I'm a third party candidate.
They don't let me in the debates because they know I'd win. And I'll tell you what what makes this an extraordinary event is that the Sports Podcast Awards have allowed a third party podcast in their debates, in their judging, in their voting, which means, you know what, we have a chance. So go to your nearest polling station and vote for the Lapsed Fan. I'll tell you where I go.
I go to www. Dot sports Podcastgroup, dot com, slash sports Underscore category slash best dash Wrestling dash Podcast slash hashtag. Because I'm going to show the world once again that third parties are the best, and that the Lapsed Fan is the best third party podcast that there ever was. We can shock the world again.
It's the Lapsed Fan Wrestling Podcast with Jack mcarn seo and JP Sorrow.
We've got an exciting Christmas program lined up for these folks. We've been to a Little Boys this year. I don't know. It's an artificial tree, so I did artificial job at trimming. The kindness is only exceeded by our inability to adjust.
All of the Here the Lapsed fant a price for the million dollar Man.
Even Santa Claus in South say it's not so.
And the twenty twenty four Left Christmas Show continues here as we continue working our way through just an absolute mortgage board and assault.
Oh it's it's said, yes.
Holiday generosity really testing our testing our endurance here.
I mean this.
We thought this was exhausting when we did this three years ago.
I know it's like you got still got like twelve packages to helping them.
This is brought to us by way of Parcel Force worldwide. This must be an international package. We don't have any force external indication. Oh yes we do. This is from phil and this is in Chesterfield, UK.
Wow.
So another gift from over the pond.
Scissors, Yes I do.
Do you have the scissors? The unwrapping continues. Mamasara holds her breath every time we throw the scissors at each other, which is I suppose.
I suppose that's fine, and it's very much. You know, she doesn't want an arn innercent situation to come out.
With these international packages or something else. Yeah, what am I supposed to do with this? Honestly?
I mean there's no Yeah, there's no like entry point.
You know, there's no there's no evidence. Yes, there's no evidence place that you should start right. And as you experiment you realize you don't necessarily have the right side. But we can't complain. We can only open and unwrap and share.
We can.
It's holiday joy Ooh, we just hit the jackpot.
What the hell?
We start with a note?
Oh boy, lots of cardboard, lots of cardboard.
This is a red envelope tucked thoughtfully into what I can tell you is going to be not just a virtual but a literal feast from jolly old England for your co chairs. Say on one Christmas, shew that you love the British candy and oh I know they Oh people, Merry Christmas to a special couple. The card says that's too much that's really fun. Okay to Jack and JP, congratulations on ten years. Hope you have a cozy Christmas. Here's to the next decade. All the best, Philip Bayne.
That's a very familiar name and it's great to hear from Phil. Phil writes a letter this holiday season, Dear Jack and JP, season's greetings once again, Happy tenth TF Christmas and the third year of the tlf unwrappening. Twenty twenty four has been another eventful year in the TF solar system. The conclusion of the Lapsed Funk, the demise of Mike Jones aka Virgil, and the revelation that his misreported age was to cover up doing time for Heroin Trashada.
That was this year, My God, the Wrestlmania Live Show, tf's collaboration with Dark Side of the Ring for the Unheard series and Who Killed WCW Companion series, amongst the general festivities of TLFX, and another excellent under the cinemat journey with carni'es r Forever, where we learned that lapsed Sean Connery actually shags the Bond Girls live during filming and that Roger Moore is probably the greatest person that
ever lived. Yes, latterly we had the passing of sid and at the time of writing the ongoing tribute series to the Master and Ruler of the world. Keep up the great work, guy, and many others will be listening to every word of it. You may wish to unwrap the gifts before reading any further. Oh boy, here we have foam shrimps from the UK Ma Massaro's face. These are strawberry flavored foam candies in the shape of shrimps.
Oh my god, this is like way too much. Look at all these candy wine gums, fruit flavored jelly sweets, foam bananas. You see the foam is in different in different peanuts. They look like peanuts.
Yes, these are way harder.
These are jelly babies and a sortpent of shaped fruit flavor jellies. This all the way from the UK squashies bubble gum flavor. Oh my god, I think what he wanted us to do is unwrapped the wrapped gifts so much.
What do you think? What are you eating? Foam shrimp? What do you think it's okay?
Sorry? Sorry, not away from me, Sorry Philip. We're gonna try foam banana. Would you like to try a foam banana, Mama sorrow. Let us know what you think. Go ahead, you sampling.
Flavor. No, I feel the same way about the shrimp, like.
Yeah, because they say foam, it's hard. It smells like a banana. I don't know if it tastes like one. Let's get a verdict here, Foam bananas.
Everything you imagine, everything you desire. I kind of like it, all right, Well, you know you're allowed to be wrong.
Yeah, I am. It almost tastes like like a like the sweeties you get in Valentine's Day was a little small.
Yeah, I think those have more flavored.
Yes they are, but I'm getting strong canani vibe. Let's take a look. Oh my god, what is that WW Top Trump's Quiz with a Twist? What this must be a quiz game. Test your knowledge and twist your memory in this instant knockout battle game. Oh god, I'm not going to be if we'll be playing this one. Five hundred questions age eight plus also wrapped. It's the following.
It's like an iPhone.
This is a Top Trump's WW Legends card game. Oh no, this might just be a deck of cards. Top Trumps must be a UK.
Say, I mean, we have a top Trump as well, But why.
Do you try some wine gums all right? From the UK wine gums. No, that's not that Trump. I'm almost certain of its.
Wine gums has to do.
Well. You try the wine gum. Mama Sara and I are gonna try a bubble gum flavor squashies drumstick.
Okay, bubbles delight.
You think, boss delight. It doesn't very chilly, very chilly wine gums thoughts pretty good. You like that one better than the shrimp one.
Like a multi flavored like Swedish fish.
Okay, there's a bubble gum drumstick for you, Mama Sorrow. Bubble gum flavored squashes drumstick. I hope tast No, I don't think so. I think it's an edible.
It was as nasty, I hope. I hope that my sound is as nasty as I hear it.
Yeah, we can, we can. We're getting a lot. Let's oh wow, this is quite a because it does take you do get the texture of chewing gum at first, then you realize it's wow. I love these, These are great squashies.
Bus.
I don't think you no, I think that's the idea. You see that the union jack right there, made in the UK. Sure, I'll try one. I love the squishies so far. Those are the best there. They all go wine gum.
Do you think it has wine inside? Hmmm, very chewy.
Yeah, it's like a wine gum.
It's weird. There's like just like bubble gum.
It's kind of like off putting it first, but it's actually pretty yummy, just like.
A gummy bear.
No, I don't know what's wine about it.
Is it shaped like wine? No? No, not really, I do like it.
Just want to make sure before I finished the letters. There's nothing else wrapping here, all right, It's not you may wish to, Okay. Previously I have gifted you some obscure curos of British WCW merchandise from the early nineties in the form of the WCW SuperSlam board game. We remember that boss in the first unrapping in the ww SuperSlam card game and the second unrappening. This time I present something from the same lineage, but more modern. Okay.
The gifts this time around are the Top Trump's card games. Want a retro WWFE pac of regular tops Trumps, where you conduct a battle based on wrestler stats to beat your opponent and collect all the cards. The second is a top Trump's WW quiz game to test the depth of your WW knowledge. Let's hope the information is more accurate than the folk given on the Super Slam cards. Though I always was curious why Sid SuperSlam card stated that sid vicious catchphrase was they sent a case of
Vienna sausages to my church. Well we know, and I sent them a side picture of me. But TLF has finally been able to resolve this after all these years. As for the confectionery, we have Swizzles, drum Sticks, Squashies.
Right here.
These are manufactured locally here in Derbyshire and despite having one of their newer lines, are probably the most popular sweets that Swizzles produces. I got every flavor I could find, six in total. Wow, there's more in here.
Wow.
Some of the flavor combos are very British, such as rhubarb and custard.
That's amazing, Like is that one flavor rhubarb and custard? Or is this one sour cherry and apple? Okay, this one is.
Banana and blueberry flavor. Weird squashies with pictures of minions on them. Brother, British candy is something else. British candy is like a.
Whole We've gotten a lot of it. Category weird. It's so weird. I mean it's good, I mean weird and like that, it's so bad. It's just weird that.
Here's the custard flavor.
Yes, I did to yeah, yeah, yeah, so it is rubarb and custard, like that's so weird, Mama sorrow.
And they don't have an extra wrapping, no, right, the silophane on top of it, what do you think? And custard like bubble gum really m hm hm no, don't taste custard. Mmm. I get what they're going for. Okay, well, I get that very subtle rhubarb, but rubarb is kind of tart, so you wouldn't expect it to taste anything but tart.
I like it.
I like the bubble gum ones better and look forward to trying the sour cherry and apple as well. We also have strawberry and cream flavored drumsticks.
Original raspberry and milk. Raspberry and milk.
I mean, jesus, you know what the funny thing is. It just seems British, you know, like the last thing I'd ever expect raspberries and milk, but.
Marks and Spencer, Percy Pigs and Colin Caterpillar. These sweets are British favorites.
Right here.
Percy Pig Merry pursemisay, often imitated but never bettered, and sold by everyone's favorite posh food haul. This is posh. Excuse me, Nancy Candy. Let's try Percy Pig Merry pursemus made with real fruit juice. It doesn't really tell you what it is on the package, but here you go, Merry Purse, Miss Mama Sorrow Percy, Miss Percy. Miss, oh no, this man dropped on the floor. He's gonna eat it anyway.
Another one.
What do you think you like these?
Hmm?
What are you getting? What's the flavor explained to people? It doesn't say, there's no indication what it's supposed to taste like. It just is made with real fruit juice and the flavor is apparently merry Percy Miss.
So we'll go back.
Do you say.
It's just the fruit juice? Yeah? This is definitely healthy.
Definitely not really, it doesn't really give you an indication. Let's take a taste.
Hm hmm, it's like a very.
Soft foamy like that.
I like that texture over there, very weird.
It's very It's like a bubble gum that you can swallow.
Very makes you feel very uncomfortable.
Wine gums. We tasted those jelly babies, foam shrimps, foam bananas, sweet shop favorites that are uniquely British, all very good while being a little different. And what gift for me would be complete without British pub snacks who gave us the here we go scampy chips. I present to you mini cheddars in cheddar?
What many? What does that even mean?
We read lester and barbecue flavors. These go particularly well with a pint of real cask ale, the barbecue with a hoppy pail ale in particular. And finally we have pork scratchings, a meaty delicacy. What the fuck that are ubiquitous staple and all good British pubs. Boss, would you like to try some original scratching scratching double cook pork crackling.
Well as long as a double double cooked. Yep, you know this is My wife always makes fun of my my lack of softball skills, baseball skills, and then I'd love to It's like an open up the damn bage'.
That's asking a lot.
Oh, here we go. They are like the little packages here.
Okay, would you like to try a pork crackling. That's a no double double cooked, a real. I get the feelings to be like beef jerky maybe or like a no.
It's like crunching, Chris. It's it's like, yeah, that's a good noise.
Boss made a face there. I don't know if that was good or bad.
Weird like crunching and then soft really all right, what.
Do you think?
It's pretty good? Actually? Whoa right? What the hell was that? I know? It's like it it's crunching and then all of a sudden it like the melt.
Try one.
It's like bacon. It's like it's like dried bacon.
See, everyone makes a face because all of a sudden there's a soft inside to it. But then it disappears.
Well, it's like it melts in your mouth, like side of American.
Yes, flavor a flavor.
It's porks. It's pork stuff, pork porks.
The real pork crackling. Yeah, pork rhyme seasoning. Yeah, it's pork rime with some soyer protein, rusk, calcium carbonate and other things you don't want to know about. They make it extremely hard to read this packaging.
It's like black because they don't because they don't want you to know what it is.
That's the only take a wow, the real port crackling.
Yeah, so weird. That's very British that that texture is bizarre.
Yours and Lapstom, Philip Baine, while we're eating good in the neighborhood, absolutely from the colonies to you. We want to thank you very much Philip for your general and your thoughtful selection. These are things we otherwise would never taste and we get to have here of this Christmas thanks to folks like you.
Safety.
Thank you very much and we'll see you next time on the TLF Christmas showing.
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