And we're very much back and the award goes to the nineteen eighty six WWF slammyes here on that fucking cast.
Yes, it does.
About to deep dive our very first Slammy Awards here on the show, this being the very first Slammies and my god, does it start with an eighties pattern?
Are you?
Are you ready for this? Like MTV? I guess interstitial just bus and let me have it please right now.
It's an MTV feature presentation.
You have.
The following presentation comes to you from the World Wrestling Federation, MTV.
Good Live.
Wrestling Candle of the World.
It's the Slammy Wrestling Music Awards with special guests Captain Lou Alberto Ready, Glassy a jump Yard Dog, Jimmy Hart Hill, Billy jim Me, Roddy Roddy Piper, Iron Kissy, the Buddy Ventura, Nikolai from MGV, Kiss b J Martha Quinn. I know your host, Vince McMahon.
I really dig that burner man and man and man.
It's a it's cool to have to kind of have an instrumental version of the song.
Yeah, that's like a different take. Yeah, man, that's just boom boom it's just all there.
Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom.
And the MTV logo has like the zebra stripes like you would see people wearing their clothing back then.
Yeah, it's I mean it's the old school, you know, it's the old school MTV. What a what a I mean, what a what a weird flash in the pan?
I know.
MTV is like there's no there's no I mean, is it even it's not even on anymore? Is it?
Is it still on Stalon is it?
Yeah?
They have Jersey Shore and they have like.
It's all reality TV. Yeah, Catfish.
I think a certain point in the day they still do play music videos, but hardly ever. It's like rerun after rerun of like ridiculousness and like a handful of TV shows, with the exception of the MTV Video Music Awards, which they still do every fall.
It's wow, do they really.
They still do it? It's like nothing, nothing's happening on that channel. It's it's really amazing.
I mean, it is. It's wild. It's wild that it still exists. Yeah, it is, because you really wouldn't I mean, I don't know, you really wouldn't think that it has any relevance at all.
And at the time, part of the front office was Doug Herzog would later go on to run Viacom when when TNA was on Spike and stuff and was kind of a player there, so getting his acclamation to the wrestling business as well. I mean it was you had to if you were in cable television, you had to know something about the wrestling business.
In the eighties.
So he uh hears August listed in the executive producer credits at the end of the nineteen eighty six Slamy Awards. But those those colors, boss, those MTV logo colors, you better believe their teal and turquoise. Oh yes, indeed, so
right now feature presentation boom boom boom. It's amazing. So Martha Quinn, Marquard the reference there, And what I think I'll do is pass along a piece we found on Martha's Let's get acquainted with Martha Quinn, right, sure, I think that's that's highly appropriate considering the one of the.
Early breakout VJs of MTV.
Yes, and this is a great piece as far as introducing you to her that ran in the Miami Herald on December sixth.
So fucking innocent and it's like, girl, what are you doing? Yeah?
Well, the headline of this article is who's who's the cutest kid on MTV? So she was hired to be that kind of innocent person surrounded by you know, the insanity, the zaniness, the X drugs and rock and roll of the eighties. Yeah, and so let's get to know this Martha Quinn, who will play no small role in coloring in let's say, the nineteen eighty six Slammies.
Indeed, there we go. I do I have a question, but I'll wait till later. Regarding Ms Quinn, the chicken McNuggets girl, that's who. Pert, that's who. I don't understand this headline. You can just ignore the headline, but I want to know what it means. Let's see, I don't understand the chicken McNuggets. Oh, the chicken McNuggets girl, that's who. I get it now because it's Pert and it's answering the question without asking it.
Well, the questions above her head Oh is it?
Oh, who's a cute? Oh who's the chicken? I get it all right, stupid. If anyone wants to bottle wholesomeness. Check with MTV Martha Quinn cola.
Is she.
Diet as well? Yes, Martha Quinn Cola would be perfect. It's the light, cheerful, friendly drink. Oh they are making fun of a cola, a light genial fuzz and that's no put down to the pop music in pop music personality who redefines the words pert and perky with every breath she takes. Martha Quinn quite simply has the has the right rock and roll stuff. When you're discussing the cutting edge video music phenomenon known officially as MTV Music Television,
there's no way to ignore the mighty Quinn. She is small, just a shade or so over five feet, but in the hectic world of modern music and media overload, she walks tall. The MTV cable service is the most influential new force and popular music in the nineteen eighties, and the force is with Martha Quinn, MTV's most inidentifiable personality.
Okay v Jay for quote. For all they knew about me, I could have never heard of the Rolling Stones, said Quinn twenty four, reflecting on the fortuitous fact that she was hired by MTV after a mere ten minute audition.
Wow.
That was back in the summer of nineteen eighty one, just before MTV was launched. But of course Martha Quinn had never heard of the Rolling Stones and folks putting together. MTV, which is owned by Mammoth Multimedia conglomerate Warner Communications, knew one thing. In a hurry, Martha Quinn could communicate. Quote. I had done a lot of television commercials, said Quinn, seated on a couch beneath a large poster of The Stones album cover for Tattoo You in an office at
the MTV studios on Manhattan's West Side. Quote for clearasil and Chicken McNuggets and that thing I was the Chicken McNuggets girl, you'll go nuggets for McNuggets. Yes, but this I couldn't have inherited a better job. I told myself, Oh my god, can you believe there's this thing called MTV?
Re minded of that old thing where MTV would basically like fire people once they turned thirty. Like the whole the whole idea of MTV was to constantly be psycho.
Yea young people exactly. You had to be listen, listen. If you're not young, you don't know all right, only youth knows right. Still, until she actually her had her name on a contract, Quinn was certain her successful ten minute audition was a fluke quote. I was so paranoid, brother, we mean you paranoid?
You?
I thought that was just my thing.
Why you gimmick?
I'm paranoid that you're paranoid.
Well, you get to push Quinn? Push right, question, push the Quinn?
Oh try. I heard Martha Quinn's going to get a push?
What yeh?
I mean she's obviously going to be on the woman's side. But I heard she's getting a push. I don't know what who they like her?
Love Sherry?
What they heard you weren't coming to the Slammys. And all of a sudden, next thing, I hear Martha Quinn's getting a push?
Why did well? Whoa, let's let's donald this thing back in, dude. Who's she talking to MTV? What where are they at?
New York City Times Square?
I work New York, dude.
No, I'm not saying you don't.
They work in the garden sometimes. Yet I can't work in New York. If MTV were they're working MSU, dude, and they were in the garden, they sell out who they made a vent against Andre? Brother? WHATWF? She made it again? Brother? She faced dwarf. She related to Eddie Quinn, Dude, is she quintessential?
It's another headline they could have used.
No, right, they could have done that with.
The headline to Andre, what were you? MTV isn't doing wrestling shows?
Would have either doing wrestling shows?
Said they're not.
Oh no, you're changing it.
That's funny. MTV is not doing wrestling shows. MTV is doing wrestling shows. I said they're not. They're not. What like, don't act like it doesn't it has. It absolutely has to logically follow that you said not to the last thing you said. It could have been counted to anything. And I'm like, it's my job to clarify her. Else I'm on the.
H I'll tell you I and so I'm not getting up the hooked. No one's hooking my leg?
Brother?
Uh?
Was she?
You know when I heard Terry what that the working title for? But in addition to that that the working title for j y D song you can replace cakes with trunks?
Well, you see we can grab them trunks? Brother, who's telling them that?
Well, I'm just saying that was.
What he's been saying is Ben telling Jyd you's gonna grab my trunks. I grab halts trunks. Brother.
I wasn't interpreting that way. I can see what.
What are you interpreting, dude? I just are you an interpret Are you an interprene?
No comment? No comment speak? I speak a Rainian? But are you the chek dude? No, I'm not the chikh. How do I know my name is? My name is Ed farhat Well.
I wasn't talking far hot dude.
I gotta go, Terry?
What go?
Where?
Who?
What?
Where do you go? Hulk's favorite band, the Who guy just disappears in front of Hogan's face.
Van Oh my god, this guy has such a right to be nervous, The right to be nervous.
Yeah, he's right, especially with sucking Chicken McNugget Martha Quinn around. You know, it's too short fucking go right between his legs rolling the show?
Was it where they were saying that MTV v J was getting a push uh, oh my god, the quintessential Martha Quinn Quinn tuplets.
Uh. I thought they would change their mind to hire someone else. They didn't. And the rest, as they say, is rock and roll. Okay, this is a ridder wire piece by the way. Oh sorry, rock and roll history.
Yes.
MTV went on the air August first, nineteen eighty one. The rock around the clock, seven days a week cable channel was dedicated to the proposition that seeing the music is even more fun than hearing it on the radio. Skeptics abounded, and indeed MTV is still not out of the financial woods, but it is pumping its beat into fifteen million cable homes a day, and the recording industry has felt the vibrations new groups with new music. Duran, Duran mean at work, et cetera. What meant work working?
What right?
Who? Oh?
No, man, this MTV is not a good thing.
Boy, start.
It's not a good deal. I'm gonna talk to Vin the vin Man brother. We gotta you know, dude, we gotta.
Terry, Terry, come on, so glad to see you. Take a seat. I get your power bar bro. What let's just let's just chop it up? But what do you have for me?
Who are you chopping?
So coming?
Wait, who's gonna give me a chop? I'm not taking chops? Brother.
Thanks for making the drive in from gun Club Road.
I'm just gonna tell you, dude, I'm gonna just kind of lay it out there. Brother. I want to put all my cars on the table, dude, right now, Brother, I want to say this this empty visil brother. Not a fan, dude. I'm saying bad deal, brother and brother. Because they're hiring men at work. They're they're they're creating their own roster. Brother, they are like what, I don't know about that. Hell what, let me tell you something. The dude, you have a roster of men at work. Brother,
I'm head that roster, dude. I'm telling you right now, empty visial.
Brother.
I heard it, dude, I read it. Men at work, Brother, they have men at work, working men, brother, work at you work at me?
Well, what do you sounds like a dire situation. What do you suppose I do about it? Terry?
Why why you asking me?
Well, I mean, you're the one that has a problem. So I wonder what Patsy brother, No, No, I'm just wondering.
You've already got a Patsy, Dude, you got a Patsy Patterson.
I don't really know why we're so worried that they hired Chris Canyon and Mark Starr but do tag team also known as men at work.
Whether I'm talking, I'm saying, dude, they're talking about invasion, brother, I heard him talk about it. They called it. You know that little chicken McNugget lady, Dude, they call her Martha QUI invasion? Brother?
Are you so worried about her?
Terry?
She's harmless? What do you mean a personality?
Where have you been? Person No? Brother, just staking the grass.
Dude, Terry. You know how much you mean to me and I wanted to allay your concerns.
What do you mean mean to you? Dude? What who's meaning? I'm saying you mean a lot to me? What I'm not mean a lot to you?
Dude?
I respect you, brother, man.
Yes, okay, I respect you to pal. What is it you suggest I do? I'd love to allay your fears? What can I do?
What do you want to You want to lay with my fears? What do you want to let.
Edugate your fears?
I don't Why do you want to.
Get tears for fears?
Brother?
What do you mean? Whoa?
This guy has stopped dead in his tracks every twenty seconds?
This guy can you imagine like living like this every day? Like like the the the the amount of exhaustion, you know, Like the problem is he can't he can't risk being exhausted. Exactly, that's the problem.
Like it's that's what they're waiting for, the waiting on me exactly exhausted.
His blood pressure must be through the roof on like just constantly.
Uh.
New groups with new music previously had trouble cracking the increasingly cracking the increasingly conservative, tight playlists of rock radio, But because of their imaginative videos, these unknown artists found generous exposure on MTV. The result people saw the videos, liked the groups, and bought the records. New stars were born without the initial benefit of heavy radio airplay. Meanwhile, the people introducing those new stars and their video music
also were sprinkled with celebrity glitter. The VJs found their own fans. Quote, I've never met a Martha Quinn, Quinn said, Chucks, she must not be looking at any rate. Martha Quinn, one of the five VJs, gets around three hundred fan letters a week. She said that attention has increased in the past year. Ever since MTV was finally introduced to New York and Los Angeles by Coastal homes of the recording industry. Before Martha Quinn and MTV were big in
Tulsa and Columbus, Big Deal Shrugged the Big Apple. But that's all changed. Quote, all of a sudden, People Magazine is here, and it's like MTV is a brand new thing, Quinn said. Many viewers assume the vjays actually put in a five hour shift every day introducing Elvis Costello, Bow Wow Wow and def Leopard videos live on the air.
Wrong.
Each VJ spends about one hour or less taping introductions in between videos chit chat. The rest of the work week includes such things as personal appearances at record stores and traveling around the country to promote MTV. Last summer, when MTV had a promotional tie in with the phenomenally successful Police Tour, Quinn was on the road doing music news reports and interviews for MTV. Quote, it was so exciting, said Quinn, with the genuine enthusiasm of a real fan.
I have never been on stage introducing a band before. Needless to say, the girls squealed for Sting, the boys squealed for Martha. Quinn grew up in Austining, New York, and started college as a broadcasting major at Colgate and then switched to New York University because she wanted to be where the action was in the city. The only show with an opening for a host of the NYU student run radio station was a folk music show, just
plain folk. Quinn took it. Then she talked her way onto the Friday night soul music show and called her DJ self Tiffany. Quote Tiffany was cool, Quinn said, I played at the Jacksons, the Whispers, Shalamar, earth Wind and Fire. There was even a Prince stint as Carlene host of any Western show. It was a quick, complete spoof, Quinn recalled, and all the while she helped her collegiate cash flow by getting in front of the cameras to tell people to go nuggets for McNuggets or to zap zits with
clearcill quote. I've always felt comfortable, she said of her relationship with the camera. To some, Quinn might seem overly bubbly and differential to the mostly male rock stars she interviews, But the effvescent personality is no put on. There's a sharp, ambitious mind at work too. And besides, the reality of television is that the personalities both male and female are paid to be personable and friendly. Others rock the Boat, Vj's Smooth the Water sometimes run amuck. Rock star egos
can be a bit abrasive and trying. I just tend to get really flustered, Quinn said, if somebody comes in their roote, it's sort of like the guest is always right. She vowed to get tougher. Her own musical taste run from steely Dan to the swingle singers. You know what I'm a saying. I'm a sucker for a good pop tune, she said. I love a good pop band. I E Stix. She said, my boyfriend is really into singers like Tom Waits and Wilson Pickett. Quinn's one absolute pop culture blind
spot is the Beatles. She loves them and evangelizes in their behalf. She has done all the MTV Beatles related interviews, including one with Yoko Ono. She called emotionally my most important interview with the Beatles. It's strictly affectionate tunnel vision quote. I have a weakness in that. I tend to do that with the Beatles, she said, like with Abbey Road. I've told viewers, if you don't have this album in
your collection, go out and get it right now. It's that sort of genial enthusiasm that enables Martha Quinn connect with MTV viewers, most of whom are between fourteen and thirty four. Quote. I couldn't imagine not being on MTV, Quinn said, It's like my hobby as well as my job. That's nice work if you can get it. And what's more, Quinn is her very own trivia question as in what
famous personal finances call? This is Martha Quinn's stepmother, Why Newsweek Magazines Jane Bryant Quinn quote, my father says now that he doesn't know whether to say he's Jane Bryant. My father says now that he doesn't know whether to say he's Jane Bryant, Quinn's husband or Martha Quinn's dad. Martha Quinn very good.
That's a great introduction to the stickholder and the face of MTV during the course of the seventeen eighty six Slammy Awards. But your host on stage for the festivities, of course, Vince McMahon himself. Indeed, and there we see the gold Slammy gorilla pressing front and center. Monsoon's there. We get a cut to the arena and there are some liveliness in the air. You can tell it's a live happening.
Yeah.
Absolutely, it's some planters in front of the podium and a Slammy statue all set up, and here he comes. Here comes Vince to the real American song.
As a matter of fact, indeed, indeed they keep playing it like that's kind of the theme of the show. It's kind of wild, it is.
I'm really into people not realizing the wrestling fans not realized he was the boss.
Yes, he's just this.
Guy that you were used to presenting the World Wrestling Federation.
Yep.
And here he is in that vein and we see the band off to the left. As we get a wide shot, we see that they have a full stage set up with a big Slamy Awards sign up there and Vince thank you and welcome for the slam As with this little smirk on his face.
I know, he's such a little bitch.
You know, when you think about it, it's perhaps only fitting.
Huh. Here I got this one for you, talking about why the Slammys are took place in White's fitting and took place in Baltimore.
You think about it, It's perhaps only fitting that the Slammys did not take place in Hollywood. Only fitting the slammis perhaps not taking place in Las Vegas or even New York City, but from right here in Baltimore, Maryland.
Has good, big good.
Think that it all started with this Rus album.
He holds It Out or show It Yeah.
This is the first time in music history in which an award show is being produced based upon the sale of one single album.
They're really well right.
Five Slammies which will be presented here tonight in Baltimore. Two Slammies will be presented based upon your voting casting your ballots or best single Vocal Performer on the Wrestling Album and casting your ballots for Best Personality and Land of a Thousand Dances Video. However, there were three more Slammies to be presented.
These Slammies were voted upon.
By the World Rustling Federation Academy of Arts and Sciences, and they include most Ignominious Producer and Best Announcer. Here to join me now to be the presenter of these most prestigious awards and one of the all time great World Wrestling Federation wrestlers, Would you please welcome go Rolla monthoon.
This didn't call him an entertainer? Was that least he didn't call him an entertainer, That's true. Surprised by how enthusiastic the crowd is for this. I know, you know, you think they'll just be sitting on their hands waiting for the wrest announcers.
Hard is just for one moment.
This is on the videotape. This is on the Colisseum tape. Fucking stupid, fucking moment.
The sight gag so lame if it's his fly is open, turnes back to the camera and corrects it.
For five years, man's inside that sports circle. I never was one of us had his fly over.
Still the pleasure here, all crowds cracking out, so funny, he so worth.
It, I mean, nobody cares about that, Like people are calling what okay?
And that's where the clip on Best of WWFOL seven on Colisseum Home Video cuts out. But it turns out they kept rolling and Grilla monsoon blurts out, still a pleasure to be here, and Vince says, all right, we have now, ladies and gentlemen. As a matter of fact, we're going to show you all the nominees for the Best personality and Lando Thousand Dances video. Here are all the nominees and they get the screen takeover and behind a drummer. No no, no, no no. It's a crowded theater somewhere.
And this is the music video shoot. It shows all the wrestlers clapping on the set.
I got some of this too. That's the music video. If you want to taste.
All wrestlers.
To heart, you move your feet.
No love, no love, Yes, I can't.
It's the Lapsed Wrestling podcast, the wrestling podcast that knows the boys need their candy. It's the Lapsed Fan. He's the Lapsed Fan Wrestling Podcast with Jack and Carnacio and JP Soro.
I can't.
It's it's like why it's have all the things to do on this wrestling album? What why this song?
Like?
I don't. I just don't get it. I really don't get it.
I guess the original Land of Thousand Dances was by a It's a classic Art and bat song written and recorded by Chris care in nineteen sixty two.
And there and there's a you know, the I don't know if it's the original version or not, but the uh, the Wilson Pickett version is certainly the most famous, the one that I know anyway, nineteen sixty six. Yeah, I've heard. I'm very familiar with that version. But it's like, why what that's That's what I just.
Want to like music song. It's a it's it's weird.
I and again it's a it's a great song, it's a classic. What I don't understand is what prompted them to say this, this is what we need to do. This is the music video. I just don't get it.
It has like that rhythm where like one guy can pop in and say da da da da da.
I mean, yeah, there is like I mean, I guess there is that. But again, I feel like there are a lot of songs that are able to and they also made up their own songs. So again I ask why right, because to me it just doesn't feel as I don't know, as it's some of them not like current popular. You know, it's a twenty year old song by this point, right exactly, maybe the copyright expired.
I don't know. You got mister Fuji saying you got to know how to pony. You got Morocco singing like Bonie Maroney, who was the which was the third single, by Larry Williams, released in nineteen fifty seven and peaked at number fourteen in the Billboard Bestseller So that's a great reference there. Ye I got a girl named Bonie Maroney. She's as skinny as a stick of macaroni. That was
the line from that song. And then Mona Flambee singing, and then Jimmy Hart sing you got to know how to twist, and then Greg Valentine sing and it goes like this and they cut to the missing link. Who's actually hitting this video? That's the Oh, that is the missing link, the missing link with a green paint face.
Got to add him to the fucking lisk.
Yeah, rest in peace, absolutely with a handful of hair, just tilting with his eyes bugging out. He certainly he doesn't contribute anything vocally, Louel Bano saying, you do the mashed potato. I don't know why they would give him that line. Breddy blast, he says, now do the alligator, and Piper goes honk as such a yo yo. That's annoying when he does that. I don't like it.
Yes, it's yeah, I know way too much.
He says it in the most piper way possible. Iron chic. You got to move like the chic. George Steele looking clueless, saying nothing or you don't or you don't have to move. Vince actually contributes some vocals. I said to clap your hands,
come on, and then Jean backs him up. He said to clap your hands, and Jesse Ventura says, then you move your feet, and then they cut to some randos in the audience, which, as we discovered, they actually you know, distributed tickets to the Mid Hudson Civic Center and filled it with fans. That's what you're seeing here is that shoot that they did of audience members. You got Vince and Jean and Vince leaning into Jeane with wide wild
eyes like you never saw back then. Like you know, Vince, we know has like tremendous facial expressions on par with a few others ever in wrestling, but he wouldn't really use them as an announcer. But in this video setting, he's like bugging his eyes out, and he's like really hamming it up in a way that it's kind of unsettling for nineteen eighty six. It is, he's you realize he's a gimmick too, you know, he's not above the
fray at all. He's not Gordon solely here. This guy no thirsting for the opportunity to be one of the boys. A glimpse of what's to come for sure. So yeah, you got the nan on an a chorus, you got Jimmy Hart saying come on, everybody, let's sing together, and then you get a glimpse of meat Loaf on the drums. Is referenced earlier. This is the years between meat Loaves Bat out of Hell and Bat out of Hell Too, where he lent a hand.
To the pro I'm gonna say, I guess such a weird thing because I mean, it's it's it's so odd because there's a you know, significant amount of time between his albums.
Yes, you know a Meatloaf fan. Ah, sure, I like it with ketchup ketchup.
Yeah, I do like you know, especially if they if it's done with some Worcester sauce and they get that kind of mixed in there. It's a great that's a great meat Loaf.
I heard meat Loaf got Vince's attention when he heard that meat Loaf would do anything for love, because he passed the word on to that Patterson.
What do you, what do you what do you suggest you say anything? What kind of what kind of interest do you have? Are you a what are you a facilitator? Do you do you facilitate? And in the potential of desirable loving.
And there's a word salad in there from Vince too when he first step to the podium. You hear that, you hear it? When he does that, he perhaps he says for no reason, he just says, perhaps in the middle of certain sentences, perhaps.
That notwithstanding, there is a desirability in a way that we have yet to uh properly foretell.
Right after we get that glimpse of meatloaf, we get cheeks in one more time, and there's Johnny Valiant and the others. No, Jimmy Valliant, right, Jimmy, No, Johnny Valliant, Johnny Elliant, You Jimmy Hart saying, come on, Bobby, tell him what to do. And there's Heenen right in the music videos, and you got to know how to jerk? And then hill Billy Jim saying, you gotta watch me work. I'm thinking, yeah, you have to pay me. Valliant, you gotta know how to tangle. Nikolai just makes a noise.
It's just so annoying.
Ay d says, I said, do the wat suey, which was an energetic dance popular in the sixties, from what I understand, And you see Dave Wolf, you see George Wells. If you want to talk about the deepest cut as far as w w A wrestlers in the In the Land of a Thousand Dances music video. The fact that George Wells is in there somewhere is a fucking bug out, he says, like me and sister Lucy, and then they
get the US Express clapping away. Paula Hoorndoor to a nordf in a memorable part of the video because he has no shirt on, kisses his biceps as he rocks left to right with his shirt off to the beat of the music. That you get George Steele hugging Dave Wolf, who's in the music video and leaning against him like he's going to hump him for some reason. And you got Hakku and Beefcake in there. Randy Savage is even in the background of this music video.
He's there.
Vince says, you got to knock him down and rock em. Piper says, I want to take your face and sock him, and then King Kong Bundy says, I'm gonna smash him with my avalanche. Cheek says I'm sick and tired about the Americans rock and roll music, so he gives the original he goes only four minutes. Yeah, they're very proud of it.
It's awful, like how do you fucking how do you how do you rational? What are we doing here? What are we doing?
I mean, it's just it's like this pure exercise in camp for camp's sake, I.
Mean it is. It is extremely masturbatory. Right, It's as masturbatory as you can get.
The last thing the wrestling business needs is licensed to be masturbatory, because they'll write, they'll take it so much further than anybody wants them to.
They're they're the last community that needs to jerk.
Off, absolutely correct, And it's so stupid how they cut to people in the audience like they're really jamming out and feeling the song, you know, yeah, like this is a fucking you know, New Year's even times Square or something.
Right.
Then they got Orton on there who says I'm want to pound on your wimpy little body. You got a Morocco in there, who says I'm gonna beat you till you're begging for mercy. Adonis is in there saying I'm gonna slice you like a French fried potato, which, again no idea why he would have ended up with that line, I mean, and tourist saying I'm gonna crush and then I'll see it later. Anvil's in there for a minute.
Yep.
You get Brett bouncing with his shoulders in the background with his sunglasses on. What a goofball? Oh, Bret Hart, He's like a where's Waldo in this music video?
He really is. He just goes to show you, like how like where he really stood at the time, they had no idea what they fucking had with him.
Zanvil says, you're breaking my heart, baby. How would you like an anvil to come down on your head? Aha? There's Uncle Elmer saying I don't talk too good, but my pig talk a whole lot better. I don't know what he means by his pig, and I don't think I want to find out.
Yeah, I'm good. Yep, don't know that one.
Then Piper kind of cuts it off and says, okay, okay, that's enough. Everybody out on the floor. This is hot rod talking. The guy says his pig talk better. Are you ribbing me? He says, stop the music, stop the rock.
And roll, he says, Ribbon he does. He says.
Ribbon says, you can take those goonies. Stick the goonies in your nose. I don't care what you want to do with them. Yeah, that's funny.
Is they done?
The the City Lobby video goes video. You and that goofy Dillinger, Derringer, whatever his name, You're all driving me nuts. And then it breaks out in a brawl. The Land of the Housing Dancers breaks out of the brawl ye as Paul Orndorf gets thrown a drum so and tosses him a drum and he wraps it around Roddy Piper's head and they start rushing the camera. Both sides start rumbling and they're screaming stop the wrestling, stop at what's
wrong with you? And you can hear Patterson's voice saying, I'm gonna try all to a radio station, auto television station. I don't know why all the station. Piper's name is in there. And then they start showing the curtains in the building back in Baltimore, and the cameras kind of tilted as Jesus's ladies and gentlemen, I apologize, and suddenly he's on the floor with his legs into a black curtain and.
Yeah, he's getting I mean, he's about to get pulled under and rate.
So they're pretending that the brawl in the Land of a thousand video eleven thousand dances video is actually happening backstage at the SLAMI Awards in Baltimore, and that Gene Okerlan is being pulled out of the fray from behind a curtain in front of the people. It's just as if we needed one more to laya leyah layer of
meta to this whole thing. And now it's like the video is a fake of a fake of a fake of a fake, and now we're actually pretending that that's happening in real time on a live television broadcast and not on memorys.
Yeah.
Right, And we get a quick look to the crowd where there's plenty of fans in the Hogan Trucker hats that were all the rage back then and such, and Vince says, all right, may I have the envelope please? So I guess we had to watch the video before he gives I mean, I mean they had to kill time. I mean, am I in the Twilight's out here? I'm watching this thing and I'm like, it's bizarre. What are they going for? Like, it's just don't understand that. I mean,
because the thing is, they don't really have nominees. They don't really have, you know, like they have to kill time with something, so might as well fucking show their video on free television or paid cable television. So the winner for Best Personality in the Land of a Thousand Dances video.
The winner for Best Personality in Lant of a Thousand Dances, Roddy Roddy Piper.
That's a reaction right there.
Yeah, yeah, what he did say? Fuck right, I think he did. I think you said it too.
And it's on the Colisseum video too.
Yeah.
I ran in. I ran in.
He's got a big broom in his hand.
I a fuck a piper.
Wait a second, this is my trophy. I ran into Tina Turner in the hallway. I come out here to get a trophy, and you give me something that buff like cats. You see, this is typical of MTV music to vomit Phi. Oh no, they're gonna come up here and they give me a Tommy. Can't you afeard a nice trophy?
Is that the problem?
Can't you recognize that I am the kne now up rock and Roll. I want to say one thing at this time. I want to make it very clear. I do play Sun City Brother. I ask for your trophy.
That's that's what I.
Was gonna do with it anyway.
All right, lot going on there? Oh my god, he recaps it's on the Best of WWA volume seven. But he gets the slam it breaks in his hand. That probably was supposed to happen. But what also happens is the fucking podium that he put slams the trophy down on collapses like one of those Kfae rings had announced tables and there's a big man and I. But the reaction of vinceent Gorilla. I don't think that table was
supposed to collapse. Yeah, and you kind of get like a halting tone from Piper like he's trying to figure out what to do on the fly, and he recovers nicely. The broom. I don't know why he said it was teena Turner. I sure hope it's not, because it was just a brown thing with big bristles that looked like her hair or something. I don't know what, if anybody can help why a broom would have had anything to do with Tina Turner in nineteen eighty six. I couldn't
find it what Piper was going for there. He usually like rip from the headlines, you know, something that was in USA today or something, and he thinks he's clever by referencing it. And the sun City referenced you know what that one was. We touched on it. I don't really do to apartheid in South African sun City. There were some artists that were boycotting performing in sun City, and Roddy Piper wants us all to know that he
does play sun City. So you tell me why he would insist on volunteering that he he was very I mean, I I just say because he's he's a dick. He ran to the racism third rail in the mister T stuff. I mean, we've heard some jaw dropping things that he said and the run up to that match, right, and that's how I made money, you know, I mean the things he said, like about the Guerreros when he first got started for Micha LaBelle and the La Olympic Auditorium and some of the things he said over the years.
Wild.
So there's Piper on the Slammies given the award for what is it, best Personality.
In the Land of a South, Like, you know, what I don't understand is why they can't say this award is best personality in the Land of a Thousand Dances video in the Video of a Land of a thout, Like why do they have to say in Land of a Thousand Dances video?
Like it sounds so idiotic, sounds like broken English. Right, Well, we do come full circle though, because the WWFMTV Alliance started with Rowdy Roddy Piper railing against rock and roll and all it was doing to the youth and all it was doing to everybody and trying to stop it and snuff out Cindy Lauper. And now two years later, on the final WWFMTV broadcast, Rowdy Roddy Piper, none other than Rowdy Roddy Piper declares himself the new King of rock and roll.
Yeah, he's the and he wins the first award and there he goes tremendous yep.
And then you see Vinceco Martha are you there? And he's pitching to Martha Quinn. These pitches backstage are so clumsy, can I can?
I I gotta ask, do we know?
Was she in on it?
Like?
Did she did they fucking did they smarten her up? Or did they favor I mean, I don't have that that. There is a dearth of people from the actual MTV side of this whole equation who have reflected on the slammings. You know, you'll find people like that except read from sexualizes and headlocks talking about the wa of MTV relationship and the big live events like the MSG events. But no one has anything to say about this. This was kind of an like a half.
Hour I'm fascinated and I actually, you know what, I actually even tried to see if she was on cameo. I was gonna ask her she is, She's she's still
doing stuff, but she's not on cameo. I was kind of bummede because I was gonna I was gonna gonna gonna fucking find out, because I was I'm just fascinated if they you know, especially not this segment per se, but the one coming up with George Steele is the one that I'm like, did like she seems legitimately startled, Yes, yes, you know, she seems uncomfortable, and so I'm just wondering if she knew that George Steele was a normal human being in real life, and wasn't somebody who ate whatever
was in front of.
It, right, including potentially her if she made a wrong right exactly. I mean, she's certainly the size of a fucking chicken man, especially to him, and what does he have in common with her? He's also wearing a sweater the form of fucking very true, care very true, Yes, indeed. Then Bobby and Bundy step into the frame. This is Martha Quentin backstage. She says, Bobby, the brain heenan at a snail's pace. You can tell she's trying to remember what this guy's name is, no idea.
Who he is.
And King, this is like the last thing she wants to be doing. She goes and King and he blurts out Kong Bundy.
Yeah, He's like's no fucking patience for her to get that shit out of her mouth.
And this is where he says he voted for King Kong Bundy ten thousand times himself and have there's some kind of conspiracy going on, and I know who's behind it, the likes of Hull Cogan and these other people who were jealous. We want one thing, and what is that I want? You, Hogan, King Kong Bundy blurts out, Now what I thought he was gonna say. I thought he was gonna say he wants something else, like I don't know, sixteen number sevens from Wendy see at least a cheeseburger, Hogan,
that's what we want, yep. And Martha says, Vince, before things get out of control back here, I think we got to get better. Get back to you, Thank you very much. At any event, he definitely says, in any event right here, at any event.
Says things have momentarily gone in a different direction as you can see, perhaps as you can see now it's standing and perhaps you can't. It's now my pleasure that matter to introduce you to one of the individuals who's been nominated for Best Vocal Single Performer on the Wrestling album Would you please welcome the gentleman singing Twody Fruit mean Gene Okerland, and here for your listening pleasure is Toots Fruit.
And he comes jogging out there doing the Larry's Abisco finger wag, like you know, the bio out of the audience.
He's such an idiot, He's such a red cumber. Let's go Gene.
Oh the knees are going on, Jean, what that cigarette out?
I don't know what.
Dream takes off his blazer and starts bathing it.
Around like a hill boy.
Wow crazy to the East, to the west, dya.
Te a guitar around. He pretends to struggle on.
To Baby's Crazy Crazy Crazy to the east.
Side the web, and then he jumps he fucking CrowdSurf, tries to CrowdSurf. It looks like he just slides right off the stage. You can see his feet in the air. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean I don't like I said, this is like, this is this this this the eighties built on a foundation of cocaine. All right, That's what this explanation you can come up with. It really is, Like, I mean, there's no reason for him to be fucking CrowdSurf. People rushing on stage trying to get the band off
the stage. It's like a mad rush, And like, I'm surprised he didn't not know He finally pops his head up, but you can tell they're like waiting that he was supposed to be perhaps more visible than he was for a second there they cut to kind of like a clumsy high shot, and then they show the crowd, and then there's Gene and Vince even says GENI all right down there. Jane raises his arms saying I'm okay and makes his way along the stage to exit. And that's
Tooty Frudy. That's why Gene Okerlind is associated with the song right there and the wrestling album Gene Okerland. I have to say, those feet were moving. I'll give Gene credit. He went out there. Yeah, he performed there. There's no doubt about it.
He did.
He did something, and uh, you know he deserves some kind of you know, he put He put it all out there, There's no question about it.
Can we do a TLF Academy of Arts and Sciences shirt?
Please? Absolutely?
Our second Award is voted upon by the w F Academy of Arts and Sciences. Here we go, I got this fucking Academy of Arts and sign idiot.
Our Award is an award voted upon by the World Rustling Confederation Ademy of Arts and Sciences and includes the nominees for Best Producer. I might have Best producer in this instance is the producer who had the most the greatest amount of difficulty dealing with the talent, but yet able to overcome those difficulties.
The nominees are Mona Flambay for.
Captain Lewis Albano's History of Music, Rick Behringer for Roddie Piper's For Everybody, and Joel Dorns for Nikolai Volkov's Kama.
And the winner is Mona Flambay Captain Lou's History of Music. Roger let you.
Well, I want to thank all the people out there, and I want to thank the World Russelling Federation. I want to thank David Wolf, and thank God for Mona being the best producer around today.
We got it all together, maybe all right, thank you very much.
He here, Vince called him what capper capper Captain Lluelbano capper capper?
Yeah, that's great. You well, you want to listen to Yes?
Please? Please, I'm so happy.
Yes, you want to listen to Martha Poor.
Oh no, no, first though, we got.
It, we got to do.
We gotta let you know what Captain of the lou Albano's history of music was Oh, it all started back before the beginning of time, when the windy wind blew through the trees and banged against the rocks, creating a beat.
Wait, what is this?
Is the lyrics of the song history music that he won for.
Oh hold on, let me if we're going to do it, let me do it right here.
Natives, Indians and visitors would long for that sound. Well, the next line is until one day George Lattatowe BOP's Bop squeaks Albano.
Oh my god.
He basically puts his family in the hit in the center of the history of the idea of music on on planet Earth.
Of course, I mean that's.
What Bob squeaks. No boss queps, It's another one of those names he would pull out of his ass. I don't think people are ready for this, Boss. I don't know if we should do this to them, but if it wins a Slammy, it's good enough for t LF if you ask me.
Yep, I don't have the song.
Okay, good, thank god.
No, I don't have it. I didn't I thought we were moving ahead to the Poor Martha Quinn I don't have that off.
On one day, George Lattatowe boss squeeps Aalbano wait, oh well yeah, picked up a big stick and hit a dirt pocket. Got it, George, what sounds so moved, Lenny? He says, yes, he says all this. He's explaining the history of music starting in a cave. Basically, the sound so moved Lenny toe that he called that sound a beat a drum. Do you hear me, my, George, a drum and it sounds like this music to my ears.
And the natives were chanting, toya toya mingo solo, toya toya mingo solo, which means turned down, turned down, me wants solo. And the neighbors were complaining because of the noise. So right from the beginning, rock had a bad name. The neighbors complained, they moved, the new neighbors complained. It was almost like being on tour, George, till finally they moved to the beach, and that was the first beach band,
led by the great Captain lou Cahuna Albano. So I started everything, George, see upcoming rock shows, get tickets for your favorite artists. No, that's actually an advertisement. Some ha some say that I'm not wrapped too tight. Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Captain Lou. But what I'm on the scene, Everything's all right. It's bad, yes, And at the end they have a dialogue. I'm impressed the history of rock
and roll with Captain LOUI Albano, What about you? Evins, Well, that man can sing as well as heat, He says, what, no man can sing as well as heat. I'll tell you what didn't sound to me like he was strumming the rubber bands. It sounded like he was chewing on him. I'll tell you I was impressed. Give me a break, Jesse, give you a break. Who could produce something like that? Wait a minute, I believe I've got it on here paper. Vince McMahon, Who is this mona flombay, mona flom buoyant
produce that? No, But speaking of flamboyant, that takes us to our next artist. I mean, are you not are you not drawn in? Are you not intrigued? I just don't know what is going on, do you know, Karama?
I don't know. And that's the ram to afforced ours.
Good.
That's really good.
That was the that's I'll tell you what. That's something Nikolay Volkov is not.
Doing, not anytime soon. That was his his nomination for that song, The Winner of course, Mona flambey hardly any noise and she comes out in a black wig and a white cape on and some scream when they see it's actually, uh Cindy Lop.
The people like, don't understand what was the did we did? We we never figured out what the fuck this?
I mean?
Dave Wolf said she just thought it would be fun to have an alter ego. Uh, there were speculation.
Can I can I tell you something? It's never fun, all right, It's never fun. It's annoying, you.
Know, it's you know, it's no, it's annoying to realize that like she well, she had affection for louel Bano, and it's like she disliked wrestling. She's just doing this because Dave Wolf was a wrestling fan.
Exactly, that's right, exactly, That's what we need, That's what we need to understand this. This is a joke to her. Okay, it's a joke like fucking like when Garth Brooks was had his little fucking alter egoing. Fucking just knock it off. Just knock it off, all right.
Well, I want to thank all the people out there, the World Wresting Federation, David Wolf, and thanks Tomona being the best producer we got all together here, baby, just the worst.
She's laughing the worst laughing. She's because it's a fucking joke.
I'm here with George the animal steal.
Here we go. You ready for this poor woman to get amused? Yeah, thank e, Vince.
I am backstage in at any moment we are excused. I'm here with George the Animals.
George.
He's confusing you with Elizabeth the manager of the manager of Macho Man. Easy, George, it's not Elizabeth, It's not Elizabeth, George.
This man is. He is controllable.
I've got him under control.
He's just infatuated with you, by your beauty. He just wants to express himself. He means no harm, so get it straight. He's a fine, uprising gentleman.
He's very good.
I think we better go back to you.
Yeah, she's in distress, uprising gentleman, and he meant upstanding.
Yeah.
But when you when part of your gimmick as you start, you know, mispronouncing words off the top of your head, trying to sound like some genius. That's what happens, right, I guess I got confused in his medulla.
Oblambada.
If only Rodney east Gavin were there. Remember when the Colsium video when Gorilla grillsm He's like, who is this rod And he goes into a whole explanation of Rodney.
Yeah, yeah, he does a whole fucking just stop doctor. I'll give him. I will give him credit for being able to.
Just fly with it. Yeah, go, he goes, he does, all right.
He just fucking doesn't smirk.
He just launches into a straight and he's a baby face manager by the time that tape comes out, So he's not right. He's playing it really straight and calm, like you heard there, trying to, you know, explain George and the animal steel and warm and fuzzy terms. Such a departure from when Steele is facing Bruno and he's pointing in the camera and telling you George steels to eat Bruno's.
Head, right, eat him, eat him, eat him?
All right? Back to you events she's not happy, No, she's not.
She shouldn't be.
We're about ready to be treated by another performance. Also nominated for Best Vocal Performance on the wrestling album Eat Your Heart Out. Rick Springfield is the tune, the singer, the mouth of the South. Jimmy Hart, Now he comes to a course of booze and his Leopard blazer.
Got this fucking so let me know when you're ready to go.
That's the Slammies. It's your favorite manager of all time. No, Jimmy.
Man.
Yeah, you have to to gets to a rock and roll show to see your work and class.
Here row.
Oh did you heart out? Richmond Field? You're out of King's.
It stands.
He now had.
The idea is the band is collapsing.
Oh cos.
Awesome, you two I do. He quits.
He's the lapsed fan wrestling podcast, the wrestling podcast that knows the boys need their candy. It's the lapsed fan. He's an lapsed fan wrestling podcast with Jack and Corn and JP Soro.
He quits, and I wish I could quit. I know, seriously, I would be happy to never ever have experienced that.
In my li The idea for the segment was that the band falls apart, and Jimmy Hart's supposed to get frustrated. That's fine, but it sounds like they had fallen apart from the beginning, right, it sounded like they sucked. I mean those backup vocals there that you heard, it's awful, it's awful. Is this supposed to be entertaining? Is this supposed to be a natural extension of well.
What we do here? And the thing is I just you know, I don't understand how Jimmy Hart had a legitimate music. I really never have understood it. It just does not make sense to me. It does not compute. I don't think he's that good. I've never thought he was that good. I never thought he was deserving of a legitimate career. See those the most illegitimate person.
I ever heard. Yeah, he is, It's true. That's a testament why he's lasted so long in the wrestling breeze and looks exactly the same as he did forty years ago. Right, it's just when he says the way he harmonizes, all the girls will think I'm so cool. However he did that. No, No, they won't get your heart out, Rick Springfield, because she's my girl and she always will be the only girl for me.
I just don't like.
Rick Springfield. Ain't paying any attention to this.
Exactly. That's the thing, Like nobody cares. Jimmy Sorr.
He's losing his mind on stage because these girls aren't in key and the musicians aren't in key, and he's grabbing guys guitars and having a fit basically, and you could hear that he says, this band is horrible. This is the worst band I've ever heard in my life. You ruined my whole career. You're horrible. And then he lays on the floor and has a hissy fit like a two year old because he's kicking and screaming and you know, just thrashing about saying, you know, you're trying
to ruin my singing career. Right now, I'll never come back to Baltimore kicking and screaming.
And I'm sure nobody cares. I'm sure that's fine.
It's a very welcome news.
Everyone's fine with that.
As events is trying to get him to walk off the stage for let's says, I think we've seen the last of the Mouth of the South. I hope that gets a pop. I wish now my distinct pleasure.
I have.
This was the nominees for the Best Commentator.
Oh yeah, hold on a second, here which which one is this?
Oh?
I even have the uh, that's uh. I even have that last of the Jimmy Hart here here's that.
Thank God, maybe you receive the last of the Mouth of the South.
I hope.
There's a job.
It's not my distinctive pleasure to introduced to you the nominees for the the Best Commentator from the Wrestling Elbow the Land of a Thousand Dances. The nominees are.
Mean Gene Okerland, I mean okay, Jesse the Body Ventura.
And here's Boah big Boa.
Set up and last lease Vince McMahon.
It's a big boo.
Yeah.
Three lovely looking gentlemen.
And Ta tickles Vince in the face with his Boa. His feathered poet.
And our winner is Our Winner is a fashion conscious fan.
Known for his distinct of good looks and matter articulate in his species.
And his comments on wrestling delighted many fans. And although short on hair, he is always long on wits. And our Winner is me and Jeane Hogland, what what.
You're the one that spots hoping it spot. You're the one that cut me.
Down on broad time lifting. This little freak could.
Not win nothing.
I don't know who to think your bod get.
A part of it. Remember, Satta Bredda, I thank you Baltimore and the world. You're the greatest.
Let's hear it for Bay.
Yep, you know, let's not here for me and j I guess he successfully lobbied that man on the street thing earlier that afternoon. I walk it down.
I guess he did. I guess the guy was a professional, not really.
Said it took him two and a half hours to find someone who voted for him on the streets.
Uh.
Martha Quinn is now with a very unhappy Jesse Ventura.
Yeah, I have that one. I have that one as well. Poor Mark, he's the only girl for me.
Yeah, in tign back here, the very unhappy Jesse. The body vent Sure, Jesse, the crowd was calling out your name, and you thought you were gonna win.
What happened?
That's right, you heard it, the crowd chatting Jesse. Jesse.
We heard it.
But I'll tell you what Prince warned me of this.
He said, anybody from Minnesota always gets a raw deal from these East Coast people.
Which includes m TV, which includes the.
World Wrestling Federation executive.
Whoever they are I'm the winner.
The people know it.
I'm the man who tells it like it is, Martha, and I'm the winner.
Listen to him.
Chad Jesse out there.
H Vinci, he's left.
I think the best thing that we can do is.
Go to a commercial break.
I'm Martha Quinnon.
You're watching the Slammy Awards live on MTV.
Martha Quinn is all of us in that moment.
I mean, she really is that poor one.
He's the one I can sort of sympathize with the most on this whole thing. You're watching the Slamy Awards on MTV. Yeah, they're acting crazy again. What a surprise.
It's a bunch of idiots. Russell Mania two.
The world is coming to Did I get those prom I think I got those promos?
Right?
I think I did? Yes, I did? I did? I did? I did? I did? These are great all these are.
Great WrestleMania too. But the world is coming to.
Sports entertainment spectacular of all time now, even greater WRESMA too.
That's awesome now, even greater wrestle Do you never do that they never use like, you know, sort of like third party voiceover people like that.
Yeah?
Agree, it's like a real legit, like you would hear that voice and like a like a coupla movie trailer or something. It's just coming soon from the directory. It's really good. Back to the I'm a big fan. Back to the Civic Center. Now with the real American music playing vinces, we have yet another individual to perform for hist here tonight. He's also a nominee for the Best Single Vocal Performer on the Wrestling album, And here's singing, don't go messing with a country boy. He'll Billy Jim.
Yeah, I got there.
He comes in his overall No, I don't have, I don't have, I did not record He'll well. We've heard vidio. We've heard it four hundred thousand times as fans. When I was a little boy, baby, I cut my teeth on a big old tree. Mama film a bottle from a moonshine steell. My first meal with the bassie killed. The bassie killed, the bassie killed. My first meal was the bassie killed?
What the fuck?
Why? Well?
I grew when I grew him. By the time I was ten, I was six feet tall, and men among men, men lem my work and loved my play. What What's up, boss. I hate the fool that get by way, get by way. I hate the fool they get my way.
Don't go.
You know the deal, And Gorilla on soon even gets in there and does a bit of a line dance with hill Billy Jim during the course of this thing. That's a sight to see. More limb, Yeah, more limber than I expected from Gorilla. And we see Mona Flambey in the background on guitar, and of course he'll Billy Jim does his trademark cartwheel at the end, and Vince McMahon says, our next slammy to be presented in a most unusual category.
Thanks.
This one voted again upon by the W W F Academy of Art and Sciences. This is most ignominious and there's only one nominee. And this makes a sarcastic self satisfied face.
Here's I mean, I got that whole fucking thing again. Yes, this is also on the best of last one.
Idiotic thing and I'm almost unusual category. This category again one voted upon body W. W. YES Academy of Arts and Sciences, and this one the category of most ignominious.
There was only one nominee.
Huh.
Gorilla.
Yeah, and the winner is Nikolai Volka.
What do you want to lose?
Speculation was the.
Man? And thank you or the Americans people more for me forneven one singer.
You realize, of course, this award is not for the best singer on the album. You realize that it's it's an award presented.
To the most ignominious.
Oh, that man.
Is probably best to find his degrading, humiliating indepicable.
Why you're just.
Telling me.
I shall be a second place?
Oh yeah, make I should be tyed up for the first place.
It should have nothing.
Why so stupid?
It's so funick, I swear to god, this is his whole experiment is starting to really hit the fucking skids.
I don't understand the whole.
Like, you know, we're all in on the joke, and it's you know, it's funny just by being what it is. It's like, no, it's not. You have to have actual material funds, come out there and just make noises, guttural noises and expected to be something that someone would want to watch on television. A bunch of back to you, Martha, And there she is with with with Blassie, who was of course.
Oh yeah, I got poor poor fucking Martha with Blassie.
Russian.
Oh wait, no, I don't have the whole thing. I got them. I got them when they come in. Yeah, I don't know what Blassi is.
No, he just says, you know, the Americans, you know, it's uh that they're idiots. They voted for this and the Academy of Art and Science. You expect something like that from pencil neck geeks instead, not the Academy. They don't know which side is up, he says Nikolai Volkoff, And there and Chic are the two classiest men in the world beside classy Freddy Blassi. Nikolai Volkoff says, remember Russian number one? I ran number one USA. Forget it?
And uh is that what he says? I thought he said fucker Russian like it to me?
Just e I want to go in rotation. Can you play that again?
Please?
Yes?
I can say fuck it? You say fuck it?
Oh man, good thing that are at MTV in that USA. I'm a rights yea.
Thank you for your extended opportunity.
Oh well, we have another performance for you, don't don't we This one one of the nominees for the best overall vocal performance on the wrestling album and here to sing grab them cakes, Vicky Sue the Junkyard Dog.
Yeah, I got this one. I got some We're grabbing them cakes.
That dog and his leather pants with no shirt.
Can I tell you something? You know he comes out with those fights because the quality of the video is so bad and he's wearing skin tight brown leather pants. I thought he was wearing no pets like that's I honestly thought that he's that dog. I was like, he's that dog after all? There you go, oh oh story feeling boom.
Yeah, left sick of course.
Yeah.
Yeah, he doesn't.
Just table original round, he comes miss turned the beat around?
What energy.
Nicky sim.
Okay, no he crick damn cashus.
Anything now.
Dog it shot und in the co din you move to the right.
Squeeze who you your money?
I did you let your man?
I think you try them all.
Your thing?
I just shine you get us up, stick up the shot damn case he.
Damn that's caltous.
He ain't ever did h a whttle bit like a wolf man again.
Doll Man three hundred and ten pounds by.
Three hundred ten pounds Animal ball plamn.
Did you right?
H you got you got, you got it, which is about.
As hard as a bottle as you know what.
Brother, the tight.
Jo It's the laps Fall Wrestling Podcast, the wrestling podcast that knows the boys need their candy. It's the Lapsed Fan. He's the Lapsed Fan Wrestling podcast with Jack and Carnassio and JP Sorrow.
Unbelievable this to you, brought this brought to you by the World Wrestling Federation. By the ways they close it out and instant thank you, j y D and Vicky Sue.
Fucking the way he speaks is just so thank you and Vicky Su all.
Right, gentlemen, just not ready to see we have seen a lot of nominees for the Best Single Vocal Performance. But right now, by way of videotape, hold on right now.
I mean he he words salads himself.
I do like when Vince crashes out, like oh like he just his his algorithm malfunctions and he exactly.
What it is.
The the you know, the the the uh kind of the output is going faster than the algorithm, you know, so it's like it's grabbing ship.
He forgets, he forgets what he's trying to say mid sentence, Yeah, Hey, a.
Moment, ladies and gentlemen, we're just about ready to see.
In a moment, ladies and gentlemen, we're just about ready to see. Okay, we have seen. We have seen. We are just about ready to see. We have seen. In just a moment, ladies and gentlemen, we are about to see.
We have just seen.
He leaves these sentences hanging out there in the air.
You know, it's like, what was that?
What was that? What was that?
Like you watched them float away? We're live pass a lot of the.
Nominees for Best Single Vocal Performer on the Wrestling Album.
But right now, by way of video tape.
We're gonna take a look at all of the nominees and then we're gonna have the very special magic moment here now, by way of video tape, all of the nominees for Best Single Vocal Performer on the Wrestling.
Album Him, Jimmy Hard, Captain Lou.
Why do you pipe show promos? And T N T and Rotted Many Savage and pipe it spin?
Who's gee.
A way a videotape?
Indeed?
Hal And now I don't know, but we have been a wading havel please.
Corla Hunting this part of many things, including pizza roles, the fudge rounds.
You saw I saw some photolcakes.
Hop that too. Is that where the white powder is from?
Yeah? And the winter Rose, the jug Yard doll.
They show people on their feet. Out comes Jyd with Vicky Sue. Look he goes for the trophy. Jyd goes for a hot dog.
Yes.
I like to thank all the people here in Ballamore and throughout the world.
And first of all, Man.
Great Braise put a man above and I couldn't do it alone outside of my beautiful lady parting the bigger shoot.
Make you want to thank my mother for having me and my grandmother for having her.
And I love you.
Man Pizza.
The Lapsed Fan Wrestling Podcast, The wrestling podcast that knows the boys need their candy. It's the Lapsed Fan. He's The Lapsed Fan Wrestling Podcast with Jack and Carnasio and j Pi Soro.
It just ends with like the fucking phoniest vincepect Man?
Is there a better way to end it? I think, now, what the fuck just happened? You know, like, what the fuck just happened? Arthur Q is with Jimmy Hart b backstage with me.
Now is Jimmy Hart Jimmy, I guess Rick Springfield does not have to eat his heart out anymore.
I was ripped off, and.
I guess Rick Springfield doesn't have to eat his heart out anymore. Martha, Martha, I I I'm with you the whole fucking time, and then you just you just trying by trying.
I was robbed your dog.
There's no doubt about it.
He paid the stupid bantle there to play out a heat.
There's no doubt that song should have been called Grabbed Them Herors, not grabbed Them Cakes, because every time he sings for people get music poisoning.
That's horrible. I wanted.
I'm sorry what music poison? Music poisoning.
Got ripped off.
I got robbed.
I don't want to thank anybody for it. I don't think nobody. I promise you right now, I am sick of trying, of being.
Robbed and ripped off.
He got no carriage like that.
Bos off of a handful of.
This has not been an easy night.
It really has not.
I can't see for myself, has not has not.
And j Y D drags Jimmy Hart kicking and screaming out back onto the stage and puts him on the floor and puts his knee on his back and rips his pants off, as Vince says.
We hope no, it's such a fucking mess.
As Vince says, we hope you enjoyed the slammings from Baltimore. So long as they sign off and Jimmy and is underwear leaps and scurries away as they play Real American once again. So Jimmy Hart is underwear as Real American plays. That's how this one's gonna end.
Yep, yep, I mean, I guess that's as much Hogan as you can get for something like that. You get at least you got Jimmy Hart out there, and.
You know.
His a little weasel.
Executive producer Vince McMahon, Producer Nelson sweg Lar, director Kirwin Sylphie's or event coordinator as George Scott, the booker are unit manager Bobby Dean assistant director.
Ah, well, we can't call you booker, so I'll tell you what, mom. How about event coordinator? You coordinate the tell all right, that's what you do. You coordinate the events that people see.
Your assistant director Kevin Dunn, who definitely thought that he was on his way to a real career in real stage directing.
By believe, I imagine that this is probably the beginning of the end of his like of his belief that he had a career outside of yes.
That he could take the things he was learning producing wrestling television and apply them to anything else ever in the rest of his life.
Listen, listen all I'm gonna say, Kevin, just grow a massive attachment to that last name, because you're done.
For Titan Sports Basil Levito and Steve Taylor for MTV Networks, Doug Herzog, Deborah Leebling, Ken Miller, and Martha Quinn. This has been a Titan Sport production copyright nineteen eighty six, and this has been the lapsed fan's treatment of the first ever ww F Slammy Awards. Boss, I think the award for Best Podcast on the Slamms eighty six can go to only one winner.
I agree.
We'll see you next time.