Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. Early January is the most popular time of the year for single people to join an online dating site. I mean it makes sense, right. They made it through the holidays with every annoying relative asking them when they plan to get married, and this is their time to take the bull by the horns and decide to find their person. New Year, New ye, and for many people that means
a new mate. So what's interesting about this, I think is that it's usually an influx of men hitting these sites at this time of the year. Now, why is that surprising? It's because popular culture makes it seem as if men are holding off from getting into relationships as long as they can, and them joining dating sites shows that maybe that's not so. The idea that men can wait indefinitely to get me married or have children is really a lie, and I think that it's one that
really needs exposing. Yes, men can have children into old age, but why would they want to.
For a long time, men.
Were told that their dating and mating life could continue indefinitely. I mean, Hollywood does it all the time, right. Steve Martin became a first time dad at sixty seven. Rod Stewart had kids in his sixties. Larry King Woody Allen list of sixty plus year old dad's goes on and on. But as I like to tell my single male friends, you're not Rod Stewart. You're not going to have a team of people to help you raise your kids. You're going to get mistaken for the kid's grandpa a lot,
and it won't feel great. You can't wear leather pants and talking a British accent. It's just not the same. Even setting aside the growing concerns from the medical community that a father's age can factor into various issues child may have, including learning disabilities. Only people without children could imagine that there's anything fun about dealing with a crying newborn when you're sixty or going to a high school
graduation when you're nearing eighty. A few years ago, there was this groundbreaking study called the Grant Study out of Harvard, which was conducted over seventy five years, and it looked into male happiness. What it found was that what makes men happy is not very complicated and corny as it may sound. Love is the most important factor in a happy life for a man. Look love doesn't have to
mean marriage and children. But the study did find that the happiest men had meaningful relationships, often yes with their wives and children.
So that means that while short.
Lived affairs found you know, when you're swiping right on these apps can be exciting, they probably won't ultimately lead.
To happiness for you.
The fact that relationships lead to happiness shouldn't be surprising, but somehow still is because the line sold to men, especially alpha men who have these options, you know when it comes to choosing women, is that settling down is for suckers. But more men are finding out that they were suckers for believing that and waiting. It also seems like men don't know who they're supposed to be anymore.
You know. While they get a lot of specific advice during different stages of their lives, perhaps maybe even more than women do, there's no longer sense of a big picture for men to live up to, you know. For example, women are encouraged to have it all, which look is a ridiculous goal, but it's a goal. Nevertheless. Women are told to aim for family, career, a perfect body, strong friendships,
the whole package. Men are told to put off family, until they have a career, as if these two things couldn't possibly.
Run in parallel.
Meanwhile, women outpace men at colleges, but don't seem to have that same pressure to have everything figured out before they look for a commitment. My number one podcast listener, my husband says that I've talked about the success sequence too much on here, but to sum it up just one more time, if you finish high school, get married, and have kids in that specific order, your chance of success in life increases no matter where you got started
in life. For a lot of people men specifically, marriage and family isn't discussed as part of the wider picture of what makes a successful life. But men don't want to be alone any more than women do, and the fact is that boys should be told that a large part of their happiness puzzle will include a relationship. Tell your children, specifically, tell your sons. Coming up next in
interview with Emma Joe Morris. Join us after the break, Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My guest today is Emma Joe Morris. Emma Joe is politics editor and columnist at Breitbart and was previously Deputy Politics editor at The New York Post.
Thanks so much for coming on, Emma Joe.
Thank you for having me. I'm super excited to be here.
I'm super excited to have you be here. I usually asked this question later on in the show.
But you're pretty.
Young, obviously, and already crazy accomplished. You're in a happy marriage, and you're just generally very very cool.
Do you feel like you've made it?
Yeah, thank you so much, and thanks to Hiley of me and especially the young.
I'll tell the story about how you asked waffle house, you know, if they're maple syrup? Was actual maple syrup later on in the episode, ye.
Were still friends. But yeah, so I guess I'm relatively young, and i do feel like I've made it, and I'm glad that you touched on, like you name the things that you did, because obviously I've had a great career. I've had a crazy career and it's been super exciting and eventful and thank god accomplished. You know, I've been really lucky. But I think that the metric have made it.
When I thought about that question is like, like having a happy marriage is the way, you know, and I think that that is so underrated in society lately, especially like people in my generation and around my age who were like think that it's like limiting or tying them down, or taking away some sort of freedom or taking away some sort of agency from them, And I found the exact opposite that I became so much more myself when I was in a serious relationship and getting married and
post being married, like and and you know, you could be totally open with somebody and there's no like hiding and no like bullshit, and like it's just that's that's my metric. I've made it. And thank god, you know I have I have that, and that's that's definitely it.
I love that.
And actually I love the story of how you met your wife, though it's definitely going to enrage people who spend.
Like years swiping on the apps.
She was your first match, right, Yeah, that's right.
I know it's very annoying for all of our parks to listen to this, but yeah, that's it. Like I went into the apps thinking about like my so, I lived in New York for some years before I started dating, Like, I don't know, I was just kind of like I was pretty in the closet and like, I just was freaked out by the whole thing in general, and it
was felt overwhelming. And my work I was in at Hannity at the time, I was at Fox, and so my schedule was like two to eleven, and like, I just my social life was weird and I just didn't want to get into it. And so then I finally down and app and I'd been listening to my friend's horror stories the time, right, and it's always like a thousand dates and there's a thousand people and it never goes anywhere, and it's horrible and everybody is alone, and
and I obviously wanted a better result. So I went into it with kind of a strategy, which was I am going to see one person at a time and obviously not like thinking that anything is going to be serious, you know all that, but just like I'm not going to see multiple people at once while all of them are not serious. So that was that was my strategy with it. So I opened a chat with my wife now and what we were talking about is kind of funny, you know, because I also wasn't like a hey, what's
up person, you know. I tried to find something on her profile that I thought it was interesting to ask her about it. She's an artist and she is completely clean, completely sober, no smoking, no cigarettes, no drugs, no nothing, no alcohol, nothing, And it said that she was in art school at the time, and so I thought that was weird. So I messaged her and I said, what
kind of artist has no vices? And that was how I w in the conversation, she thought that was kind of interesting, and we got into a conversation about her religion, which I share, and anyway it was. It was a good conversation and she asked to have lunch, and so I deleted the app because.
Wow, I'm done here.
We are.
Well, no, not necessarily, I didn't think. I didn't think. I didn't I hadn't even met her. But I had vow to myself that I wasn't going to be one of those people who is like onto the next thing before they've even met the person or before they got to know them. So I set up a lunch like a time to have lunch with her, and then I deleted the app and I married her.
I love it.
How old were you It's twenty six?
Oh my gosh, five, I just turned twenty five when you got married.
Yeah, oh no, got when I met her, I had just bie. When I got married, I had just turned twenty eight.
Wow, amazing, that's I love it.
So you write about serious.
Topics, but you do it in a really funny way, and it sounds like that's kind of the approach that you use to.
Woo your wife as well.
You wrote about spending the day with an illegal immigrant that that story really sticks out in my mind. It was like a real serious, well reported story. And then at the end he sends you a picture of his penis and it just has like a really you know, hilarious kind of twist to it. But you just you just covered it in such a great way. And then recently you wrote about your drunken lunch with George Santos, which I also thought was very serious but hilarious and
just very well done. I think being funny is really important to get people to listen to you.
Do you also think that is that like part of your philosophy?
Yes, definitely, and especially like you know, you and me write about similar things and it's just politics and politics is so boring and it's so yeah, it can be so niche too. Like you know, you write for like junkies, and I think.
That there's you know, and I think, yes, yes, you're right again, yes drug.
And that's fine and whatever. And I like, I love my readers, and many of them are politics, juggies and everything. But I also think that there's certain things about our medium that you can get through to so many people, more people and people who don't agree with you, or people who don't even care about politics or whatever, and and it's by just being kind of clever and entertaining. And so I think that, like you know, at Brightbart, I mean, and I know that you have this at
the Post as well, because I work there too. You get so much liberty to really express yourself how you want. And obviously, as long as you're making some sort of coherent point that has, like you know, a reason for why you're making it, and you know, evidence for why you're saying what you're saying, you can deliver it however you want, and you can be clever and creative about
how you do that. So, you know, the illegal story was amazing because I have people from all over the political spectrum, from New York Magazine to Tugger Carlson Tonight emailing me being like that was hilarious. That was brilliant. And the story was called My Day with a Biden Migrant And you know, so I'm still seeing what I
want to say. I'm not sacrificing anything in terms of being like more bipartisan or more broad in my language or my message, but just the way that you deliver it can be so much more impactful when you can get kind of smart about how you're doing that.
And I have fun right right, And I know it was a human story, like I thought, you know, you didn't make him seem like a monster, who was you know, just awful.
I thought it was just very well done.
Like we can care about people, but know that this, you know, what's going on at the border is just wrong. And I think all of that really came across. So you seem like you're having fun in general.
Is that is that true?
Oh? For sure? Well I don't take life seriously, you know what I mean. It's like when you kind of have like, in my opinion, this is where it comes from for me, like when you have some sort of relationship to God or like something bigger than yourself. You know, I'm Jewish, so my thing is God. But you know
if you're not religious, it's still the same thing. It's like the universe or something that you stop being so controlling about everything and you stop taking things so hard, and it's like it's fine, Like somebody's taking care of me, somebody's looking out for you. It's not all about you. You're not the center of the universe. And it allows you to, like, I think, humble yourself a little bit and also like have a little bit more fun because it's like, no, I'm not in total control. I'm not
gonna make romantice. I'm going to control what I can, you know, and then the rest of it is like enjoy the ride because you get one that's kind of I approached life.
And that is why I took you to waffle House.
When we met last year in Dallas for the first time, Emma Joe said he had never been to waffle House, and I thought that was unacceptable. So we took an Uber ride and we went to waffle House. And Emma Joe is Canadian. Is that okay to say?
Can I tell people that Quebec? So if I have any any local people from Quebec listening to this, I'm sorry to offend you.
By what she said, Well, but no, I think that they would love that.
Where you just assumed that your local waffle house would have.
It was that you called Quebec.
How I see, I apologize. So if she at this waffle house.
She looks up at this waitress and asks, do you have real maple styrup?
And the waitress said no. But Emma, Joe, you know, I like that she believed.
I like that you really you thought that that was a possibility at your three dollars a waffle spot. It shows the optimism you have.
Have you been to a waffle house since?
Like?
How how has that.
Now? It's like one of my favorite restaurants.
In restaurants, I don't know if you know, but there's this thing in Florida where maybe that's elsewhere as well, but in Florida, you know a hurricane is going to be bad when the waffle house closes, it's called like the waffle House Index.
I think that's how you.
Know, like this is serious.
This is not just you know, hang out and wait for the rain to pass. So you know, now that you know you can, you can monitor waffle house is near you. What would you say is our biggest cultural or societal problem in America and is it solvable.
Yeah, so, I you know, I just went on this kind of rant about how, like, you know, my relationship is the most important thing to me, and how fulfilling it is to be in a happy marriage and a happy relationship. And I speak more generally because obviously, I guess you know, not all of your listeners are going to be married, but if you have somebody who you're
committed to, that counts. And I think that there is such an epidemic of loneliness in this kind and such an epidemic of like phobia commitment, and I think that that ends up manifesting in a lot of ways that that we, you know, write about every day, most importantly not having kids and not feeling tied to the land
and the nation that you're a part of. And there's so many statistics about how, you know, people especially younger generations, are having way less sex they're when they are having sex. I saw statistic when I was thinking about this leading up to the show, seventy percent seven zero percent of people who are having sex have had a non committal kind of like casual sexual encounter in the last year from when they took the study. You know, numbers for
marriage are like in the dumps. People are isolating. They're obsessed with social media and it makes them incredibly lonely in ways that they don't really realize. Because when you live connected to your screen, you feel like you have constant comforties. It's actually total isolation and it's killing people's vibe. I think it's killing people's vibe. I think it's killing
their mood. I think it's killing their sense of patriotism and sense of connection to the earth the land around them, and making them really not give a shit about the future of the country. Obviously, you have nothing, you know, coming after you, so why do you care. It's all about you and it's all about now. So I think that that manifests in a lot of ways, and I think that that's a really interesting thing that is really not talked about enough, which is the decline in partnership.
Yeah, and you know the thing is also I think about this a lot, but those people are having terrible sex, Like they don't realize it, maybe because they have never been in a relationship, but like the one offs are just that's going to be the worst version. And there was some way to like let them know. But also it just concerns me that people in relationships don't have sex,
Like that has declined significantly. There was some crazy stat during the pandemic where like way more people were watching porn and masturbating versus having sex with like their partners who were home.
And I just it's we take the easy path and it's not the better path, and it's concerning. But so do you think it's solvable, Like how do we get people out of this loneliness rut?
Oh?
Yeah, Like it's a hard call. I think that you know, I mentioned the part of the reason why I think people are lonely is because they're obsessed to social media. And the thing is, the messaging on social media is that marriage and commitment are limiting. Marriage commitment is a ball and chain. Marriage and commitment is going to prevent you or inhibit you from being who you are, who you want to be, from self exploration and and and
you know, ambition or whatever. And like, I think that there needs to be kind of like a recast of the narrative around relationships and marriage. And that's something that you know, I like, I like, you know, one of the things that makes me happy and feels like I've made it is hanging out with normies, you know, and hanging out who have interests apart from politics.
And who don't even know like the scandals or the whatever that we like live every single day.
Those are the most pain and cool people obviously, Yes, And you know I think that, Like so I will sort of get like a temperature check or like a gut check on like what's going on in media and what's being on social media and like what's striving and stuff from those people who aren't immersed in it, but who just kind of get the general message. And yeah, the general messages that marriage is outdated, that marriages archaic partnership, and that partnership sucks it and prevents you from being
yourself or whatever. And I think that, yeah, there needs to be a total total overhaul in that narrative. And I don't know how you do it apart from getting people to experience this themselves, because it's like one of those things that you can't really that somebody who has involved and it can't really understand I don't think fullyef. But it's like you know, you're talking about like like talking about how bad casual sex is that is so true.
It's always bad. And I've never heard of somebody come out of one night standing and be like that was amazing if they had they had dating that person, you know. But like it's like, you know, when you're with somebody who you're committed to, that's when you actually get to be yourself. A that's when sex is good also because
of the first thing. And you know, when you're with a random stranger, when you're with ten random strangers who you're on a rotating dating basis with, it's like you never ever get vulnerable because you don't know them, and and then therefore you never actually get to reach inside
yourself and really understand yourself better. Like everything that they're saying con from being single and like quote unquote like doing it on your own and figuring learning about your like no, that comes from connecting with somebody on a deeper level. And and and that's where also you know, you end up facing demons, you end up having a conflict and it brings something out of you and you're like, wait, what was that? You know, where did that come from?
And that is an avenue of self discovery. So there's all of these like we I think, really need to make a push, like in our capacity, and I think that there needs to be this push across media where it's like no, no, no, I don't know where this feminist lie came from. I assume you know, but it's it's totally backward. It's totally backward. Happiness comes from commitment and freedom come from commitment. You know. So, but does that get solved immediately? Does that get solved right now? Does
that even get solved in this generation? I don't know because gen Z is the ones we're dating the lease. Gen Z is playing the lease sets dating the lease and who are frankly like, have no social skills.
It's like crazy, We're going to take a quick break and be right back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. Look the point of this show, I mean I literally started this show to kind of portray the other side of you know, what married life is like, what relationship so like, because I think I want to counter all the nonsense that I see which just seems fake to me.
You know, you mentioned the demons.
That get released, and you're like, wow, you know you get you get to do a kind of a deeper dive into yourself. When you're committed with somebody, but you also get to relax, Like you get to like actually be yourself and like not worry about how you're being perceived and all the different ways that you have to kind of perform for the outside world. You get to just relax that and you know, ease into being yourself, your actual self with your partner.
And I don't think there's anything better than that.
One hundred percent. That's exactly it. That's exactly it. And anybody who you're going to be with for like one or two days, or when you're constantly on one or
two dates with different people, you're never fully authentic. And that is probably the most unfulfilling feeling and the most depressing feeling is feeling like you have to front all the time, and then you get this idea in your head that you don't even know who you are, and if you did that, you couldn't really express You get no practice in expressing that actually, And I.
Love that you used front because that's like one of my favorite words ever.
Yeah, totally.
Well, because you're so and here with your best tip for my listeners on how they can improve their lives.
Get serious. You know, people think that you're young forever. People think that you're you know, you're gonna be in the same place forever, that you're gonna have the same vibe forever and want the same things forever. And that's
not true. And I think that the best way to get happy is I was actually just with Alex Marlowe last weekend because we were at Ampest together and we were talking about this, Like, get as serious as you can about your future and your life as quickly as you possibly can, and set yourself up as best as
you possibly can, as fast as you can. And if that means, like you know, moving out, maybe that that's what that means for you, Or if that means it getting you know, a salary job as opposed to an hourly job, Like maybe that's what that means for you. But like, try as best you can to arrange your immediate life as much in alignment with who you want to be as possible. And I think that you can do that in small ways and big ways, and that is going to be the key to your freedom and
your happiness. I love that.
Thank you so much for coming on EMO. Joe Morris.
Check her out at breakbart dot com.
She is fantastic and follow her on all the apps.
Thank you so.
Much, Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Markowitz Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.