DEATH WISH

know, it's always interesting when I try to do an introduction, because, like, I do a lot of things, right? I'm a spiritual mentor, I'm a writer, I'm a storyteller, I'm a podcast host. I am a yoga teacher. I've been a yoga teacher forever. I'm a hypnotist, I'm an integrative life coach, like, I'm a lot of things. It's a Thai Yoga

massage, like, all these things. But when I do this show, what I'm really doing is kind of pulling from, like, just the experience of being human, and as a human who does the kind of work that I do, and spiritual mentoring, and personal development and stuff like that, subconscious reprogramming, coaching, the unconscious mind, all that

stuff, and kind of bring it together with spirituality and storytelling. And so I always love to share, like a personal story, perhaps, and then share how it kind of universally applies to all of us, and along the way, drop some tools, some shifts in perception, right, from love to fear, I mean, from fear to love, that can help us to

maybe kind of come to understand ourselves a little bit better, to spread a little more love in the world, to know why we do what we do, and think what we think, and say what we say, and believe what we believe, and tell the stories that we tell about ourselves in the world around us and for me, like I said, I use this podcast as a vehicle to spread a

little more love in the world. So a little more kindness, you know what I mean, a little more compassion, a little more a little more invitation to, you know, be kind to yourself and to others, into animals, etc. So just thank you so much for being here. So I'm gonna start. Let's have a little chat. Let's just have a little chat, shall we? So here's a little something. Here's a little something. You may or may not know about me, but I tend to be a fast driver. Now, I don't have any speeding

tickets on my record right now, you know what I mean? I mean, I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in a really long time, but I do tend to drive fast, not unsafely, not like, insanely fast, but like, let's say that you know the speed limit, 70. I'll probably like, that's what's allowed, you know, I'll probably push it like 76 so I can

get, you know, maybe 80. You know what I'm saying. So again. But I'm very mindful when I drive, I don't drive erratically, etc, but I do tend even, even when I was a kid, when

I was in Home Ec. Oh, my God, my home economics teacher, who taught us, I think she taught us sewing, for sure. I can't remember if she also taught us cooking, but when we were learning how to sew, like on the sewing machines, she would always yell at me for being such a lead foot, because I would always be like, Oh, my God, I would

always step on it too hot, and it'd be like, you know, and she would often threatened, her big threat, my my teacher was so funny, and her big threat would be, don't make me send you to Siberia. That was her way of kind of like sending you over into the corner so you could just stop either interrupting the class or stop being a total

pain in her ass, you know what I mean. So I've notoriously been a little bit of a lead foot. Now the reason, there's a reason why I'm telling you this, why should you give a shit? Because I'm about to make my point. So the other day, I was coming back from Massachusetts, driving up 93 north and those of you who are, like, local to the area, you

know, like, that's a pretty like, like a four lane highway, we also have, like, toll booths, you know, it's like, it's legit. It's a lot of cars and a lot of movement, especially at the time of day. So I was kind of coming up from Lawrence, and it was probably like, maybe four ish in the afternoons. This is when the work traffic, like stats tell, you know, people getting out of government jobs, the teachers, whatever. So I'm driving, and the traffic was moving, so it wasn't like crazy bad

traffic or anything like that. But there's a lot of cars on the road. And you know how sometimes you can hear a thing be like a train, like a train coming down, like you can hear it in the distance before you can actually put your eyeballs on it. So while I'm driving, all of a sudden, I can hear this, sound like this, okay, which we can easily recognize. It's not a mosquito. What could it be? It's somebody on one of those, what some people would call them, crotch rockets, like one of those. Fast

motorcycles, right? Not like the Halley's not the room, like the deep throttle, the throaty ones. This is like a z so I can hear it. I can hear the motorcycle coming way

before I see it. And then all of a sudden, I look down and I'm doing like, you know, like 7880 miles an hour. I'm cruising, and all of a sudden this kid goes flying. Now I will say at least they had a helmet on, but this kid had, like, no leathers on, like no protective gear, no gloves, no like, he just had on, like, regular, like, Haha, pants or

jeans or whatever he was wearing, and a T shirt and a helmet. And when I tell you, this kid not only flew by me, like I was, like, going like 30, this kid flew by me. He must, I swear to God, he must have been going like a buck 20. He must have been going like 120 miles an hour. He was flying. And not only was he a lying, he was weaving

in and out of the cars, and he was so hell bent on going that fast and not wanting to go with the flow of traffic, you guys. So I'm in like, the probably, like the third lane to the like that. Like, let's call it from the second lane from the left, right. So I'm not quite in the passing lane, but I'm still in the lane where everybody's

moving fast, and then there's two lanes to my right. Now the one to the the far right is usually the lane where people are going to be exiting, or people who drive a little bit slower. This kid comes up on my left Vroom, like goes flying, cuts in front of me, and then shoots two lanes over, like weaves through cars, two lanes over, and

then he's not happy there, so he goes into the fucking breakdown lane. He drives in the breakdown lane, and he passes an 18 wheeler on the right in the breakdown lane. And

that's when I literally just blurted out. Now, I don't know if this is a saying that is universal or what's the word like by region, or if it's like, everybody across the United States says this thing, but something that was said all the time when I was a kid, and all of a sudden I blurred out, and I go, Jesus Christ, that kid has a

death wish. I was like, Jesus Christ, that kid has a death wish. And I literally said a prayer for him. And I'm like, if he if his, I was like, Oh my God, if this kid's parents is still alive, this kid has parents and they saw this, they would be horrified. They would be terrified, terrified for this kid's life and safety. So when I said, this kid has a death wish,

I stopped. I didn't stop driving. But in my head, like I had this moment, and I thought to myself, like, so then I hear this other voice that says, like, Yeah, him, him and everybody else. And I thought to myself, That's a curious thing to hear or say or think, right? Like, in my head, I'm like, what's that about him and everybody else?

And I started to think about how, yeah, now maybe this kids, and what that means when we say, you know, a person has a death wish, it usually means, it doesn't mean that they, quote, unquote, really like want to die, like they're consciously trying to harm themselves or do it. It's that they're not thinking at all, and this is leading to really reckless behavior, dangerous behavior, right? That's what that really means. If you see somebody like doing something stupid, like climbing a thing when

it's wet and slippery, and you're like, Jesus, this kid has a death wish, right? Because they're just not thinking they're doing something very reckless or dangerous, okay? But at right, after I said that, I thought to myself, how many things? Because it's really easy to focus on what other people are doing and to judge them, right?

This is, this is what the ego mind does. It loves to look at our brothers and sisters, our other humans that we share the planet with, or whatever, and judge, right? It loves to kind of like, look at it and then throw its opinion on it, or its assessment, or whatever it is, right? It loves to go into shame and blame and guilt and blah,

blah, blah, whatever. And so I usually try to take the awareness and immediately apply it as soon as I catch myself, like, bring it back to myself and ask myself the question, you know, and of course, in Miracles is a line, I'm paraphrasing, but it says something like, would you accuse yourself of the same thing, right? And I was like, Hey,

how many times have I ever driven, like, really fast? And I was like, yeah. I mean, honestly, I don't think I've ever driven that recklessly or dangerously. However, I. We all, in our own kind of sick way, have these little moments of death wish. And what I mean by that is, if we look at our lives, and we can look at it from a lot of

different aspects, right? And I'll be using like other like situational people or whatever, in a moment too, but if we look at our lives, what are the things that we are actively doing or not doing that are also probably speeding up our mortality, right? Like I think about this. So let's, let's talk about a few examples. Let's say you

have a friend who is like a type one diabetic, so they take insulin, they have to give themselves shot or keep track of their whatever, right? I was watching a show the other day, and this person needed a medical procedure. They wanted to get a procedure done, and the doctor was aware that they were type one diabetic, and they said, Well,

before we do this thing, we have to make sure that your blood sugars are good. And so the guy sat at hem and hawing, and the daughter, the guy's daughter, was also in the room, and he was, she was like, Ah, he's not that great at keeping up on it. And so they took his his blood his blood sugar levels, and it was supposed to be like,

let's say it was supposed to be like, I'm making this number up, but let's say it was supposed to be like 80 or whatever. Well, this guy's number was like 223, and the doctor was like, I'm so sorry. Like, I cannot work on you. I cannot operate on you. This is dangerous. Your first steps are. You have to go home and get your blood sugar

under control. And I just thought to myself, like, how many diet? And again, I'm not judging people at all, and this is more like just situational things, like examples to kind of have us, like, maybe spurn our own thoughts about ourselves and what areas right? I understand that insulin is wicked expensive, and it can be so hard for people

to so again, this isn't a this isn't a judgment on anybody's just an example, an idea. So, but how many people do you know who maybe have medical conditions, and they were told you got to cut back on the salt, you got to cut back on the sugar, you got to come back on the booze, you got to cut back on the smoking, whatever it is. How many

people have been told like, Hey, if you keep drinking, you're going to be dead soon, right? And they keep doing it, right? You know, you gotta stop smoking. You gotta stop vaping. You gotta stop putting that poison, that stuff in your body, your lungs can't take it. And you know, we've seen people, I've seen people with literally, like, like

oxygen up their nose, still power puffing, like, on a cigarette, you know, got emphysema, and they just keep doing it. And so our examples, personally might not be

that extreme, but it's not a bad thing once in a while, right to take a look and say, like, oh yeah, where could I be making maybe different or better choices? You know, I know sometimes, like once, not once a year, but a lot of times, when you're going to get life insurance, they'll send, like, a nurse to your house, or they'll have you go to a

lab or something and get your blood work done, because they want to know who they're insuring and, like, what kind of shenanigans you're up to, you know. Or sometimes, if you were doing your annual doctor visit, like, they do your blood panel, and they'll come back and they'll say, you know, I know some people, they'll say, like, Okay, this was

low, this was high. Like, for a lot of people, it's cholesterol because, I mean, as a vegan, you know, I don't have that cholesterol issue. Now, I know some people, they'll say it's genetic, it's hereditary, whatever. Again, I'm not judging people, but we are a nation that loves to eat. It's dead, these poor, dead, murdered animals, right? And animal proteins creates, for a lot of people issues in their cholesterol. They're eating eggs, they're eating butter, they're eating beef, they're eating

whatever, like all these things, and it's not, not so great. And they'll know like, Oh God, I really should be more mindful of my diet. So there are often things that we're doing that. Maybe we shouldn't do that again. Maybe it's not so extreme that somebody would look at you and say, Oh my God, that person has a death wish. But it's

like these tiny little little choices, or these bigger choices, maybe that on a daily basis are like adding up to an earlier demise. And we have to ask ourselves, like, why don't, why isn't our health or our well being, you know, a priority? Because it's not just sometimes what we're doing, like what we're putting in our body, what we're

putting on our body, how we're doing things, you know, the quality of our the quality of our thoughts, our mental state, like all those things. But sometimes it's what we're not doing, you know, sometimes people are told, or we've been told, whoever, again, I'm not, you know, like, hey, you need to, you need to start getting your ass moving,

and whether that's walking or going to a class or going to the gym or whatever it is. And sometimes we're not doing the thing. Things. So sometimes we're doing things that are speeding up our mortality, and sometimes we're not doing the things that are kind of creating that. Like, again, you know, got a little, tiny Death Wish, because why aren't

we doing the things that we know we need to be doing? And this is a crux of, like, I mean, I kind of know the answer. A lot of times it's resistance, right? And resistance can be a mother, right? My resistance can be like, whoo. It can be tough. And people will say to me, like, why do I do that? KK, like, Why do I self sabotage? Why do I keep doing

this thing? I was like, because the this is how the brain works. The brain tries to conserve energy by keeping you in the familiar to keeping you in the patterns it is already learned things if you do something enough times in a particular way with enough emotion, repetition, repetition. This is why we say repetition is the mother of all learning. But neurons in your brain that keep firing together, they end up wiring together. And this is why, for a lot of people, they'll stop doing something

right. They'll stop making better choices, and then they slip up one day, and then they're like, Marie, it's just like rolling downhill and back to the starting point, because the brain is used to already doing a thing so well, and that's why they say it it takes a certain amount of time to create a new habit, which to me, is just another way

of saying of creating a new neural network, a new neural pathway in your brain, so that the new behavior becomes more familiar, and then that old synapsis weakens a little bit, you know what I mean. But so this is really just an invitation, like I said at the beginning of the show. You know, part of my desire with this show is to spread a little

more love in the world. And one of the ways that I spread love as a spiritual mentor and as a coach and all these things a yoga teacher is for people to have a better self understanding, to know why like, to know themselves, to know not only their capital S self, their true self, like who you are, is one of God's kids in a divine being, in an

extension of the universe, you know, extension of love, but also to kind of keep an eye on that small s self, that ego personality, that the person you are, your behaviors you know, Like your patterns, your stories, the the shenanigans you're up to. Because if you're not looking at yourself, if you're not looking at those, those choices that you're making, whether it's with your thoughts, your words, your actions, whatever, and you're just kind of walking around, I think of it like being in

a pinball machine. You're just a ball that's like, bumping up against a bumper, and it's just shooting you over there, and then, like, and then you're just feeling at the mercy of the world, and it's like, why is this happening to me? It's like, we can't control a lot of shit, but we can actually control more than we realize and more than

we think. So this episode is just an opportunity for us to maybe pause, like, hit the pause button and take a look at yourself in these different brackets, or these different buckets, as I sometimes call them, right, like, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, in your relationships, your health, all these things, like, take a look around and kind of assess and say, hey, where am I making choices? Like, am I overspending all the time? Am I am I spending more than I earn?

Am I running up my credit cards and creating all this debt and then creating all this stress in my body? Like, am I finding myself getting anxious or having panic attacks about money, about how I'm going to pay for this thing, whatever? But then you're over here, and you're eating out every day of the week, and you're eating, like, fast food,

shitty food, stuff that's clogging up your arteries, not doing you any favors. You know what I'm saying? Are you spending time, like, with with, like, there's lots of ways

to have fun that are free, you know what I mean. So, like I said, there's 1000 different things we could look at. I can't keep you, know, I don't want to keep blasting you with all these examples, but I bet you've already thought of at least one thing, and bet you've already thought of at least one thing where maybe you haven't been

spending enough time getting good rest. You're not putting making your sleep in and a priority. Perhaps it's you're not taking time to develop a deeper relationship with self, source and spirit, right? Like you're not making which? To me, the personal development work, the personal awareness work, the spiritual work, to me, it's the

most it's the most important thing, one of the most important things that we do on the planet. It's through that work that then we can serve others. You know what I mean, having a sense of self and purpose and why you're here, and who you are and the things you want to shift and change that don't just affect you. They affect your family, they

affect your neighbors, they affect your community, they affect your clients, they affect your business, etc, right? Your work, the work that you do in the world. So I think it's really important stuff. So again, it might not be as extreme as that kit. Had on his motorcycle doing like a buck 20, flying down 93 and just weaving it. I

literally was like, whole I said a prayer right on the spot. I was like, Dear God, keep this kid safe, because this could end really bad. And I was like, I do not want to be traumatized driving by a scene where he his brains are like, splattered all over the place. Because, oh, that was scary. It was scary. It was, like, scary. You know, it was

like, that fast. It was scary. I was like, oh my god, yeah. I mean, he could have gotten off on an exit, but I didn't see anything like driving home, so hopefully the kid got home safe. But where in your life are you maybe playing it a little reckless and loose? Where are you kind of maybe, like, doing some things or not doing some

things. And I don't use the word should off, like I don't try to should on people. And there are just some basics that we know we should be doing right for our well being and our health and our sanity. And you know what I'm saying, our relationships, and it's important that we hit the pause button once in a while and take a gander. Take a little

peak seat. Take a look at who and how we've been being right. How are we showing up in the world, and what's been the quality, the quality of our choices. It's important to look at that stuff. So I hope this has been helpful. I always say I either want this show to like, educate, elevate, enlighten, entertain, to create, to create connection

in some way, to enhance your life. You know what I mean. So hopefully, if you're still listening, that this was helpful in some way, and if you if you got something from it, and you can think of somebody else that might benefit from it. Please share this sucker with them. Just forward them. If you are somebody who watches this on YouTube,

just share them the link. Or if you listen on my website or on Apple, Spotify all the different 1000s of ways there is to listen, maybe you just forward them the link so they can check it out as well. So thank you so much for tuning in. I really appreciate it. And if you want to know what I'm up to, the different ways that we could work together,

whether one to one or in a group situation. Just go to my website, Karen kenney.com, you'll see options for the nest, for the quest for, you know, work with me yoga. There's a bunch of stuff that I'm that I'm always have going on. So I appreciate you. I'm sending you so much love. Thank you for being here wherever you go. May you leave

the animals and the people and the planet and yourself the environment better than how you first find it wherever you go. May you and your energy and your presence and your love and your curiosity, right, be a blessing. Bye. You.