#2507 - Harland Williams

You're over here. Yeah. The Joe Rogan experience. My day's your rogue. Dimitri was here with Donald Trump was here. Wow, that made my It was important. Doesn't matter what's odd. It doesn't? No. There we go. Wow, these are nice. Dimitri the Snake. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. What's going on with your face? What are you doing? Ah, this is a tight one for me today, guy. I'm feeling ripe. What is that? It's It says Betty. Billy. Billy. Oh B I. L L Y Okay. They are...

It's a memorial tattoo, said I don't know if you knew this or not, but uh My kid got hit by a truck. When did you have a kid? About two years ago. Haven't told anyone. I was ashamed. It was a one night stand. Kid. Is it a human kid? Billy. You get hit by a truck? Is he just walking? Well, someone, and I won't say who, left the gate open and uh he wandered out into the street. And uh boom. Like hit by a a eighteen wheeler. And uh this is like a memorial. So you got Billy tattooed on your

I have two tattoos. I got Billy on my forehead and I got a tattoo of his little face over my heart. Come see it. Really? Yeah. God. First of all, what happened to the one when you were attacked by the bear? Billy Goat. Yeah. Poor little guy. Poor little guy. He was a service animal. Well he was my boy. You said he got him out of a one night stand. Well the girl sold. Yeah. It sucks, dude. And you know what sucks? He was hit by a truck that was hauling medical supplies. Okay. So ironic.

Right, he's laying there and to watch your kid bleat to death. He's just laying on the pavement like that. Just bleeding to death. Amazing you're still alive. Well, he I couldn't believe it. He was alive and and a respirator rolled out of the back of the truck, a life saving device, and crushed his stupe his crushed his head. So he was killed not by the truck but by the final blow of the respirator landing on him? Right.

Well, this is the irony in life, Joe. Like he he got hit by the truck, might have survived, a uh respirator rolled out of the back. These things weigh a good half ton. Lands on the idi on the kid's face and uh gone. So memorial tattoos. Mm-hmm.

I would have ate him. Is that right? Yeah. How does goat taste? I haven't had it. Yeah, I prefer. You have? Sure. First time I ever had it was in LA at a Mexican spot. They were selling goat tacos. They were delicious. Oh my god! Yeah, and then I had a a neighbor, well, not a neighbor who's a landscaper, that was a friend of mine that would uh he would fight chickens, they'd do chicken fights. Yeah. I was trying to be polite, cleaning up for the viewers. Well, Cock is kinda the technical name.

Wrong. Yeah. When you're saying it. Have you ever I don't like how you're saying it. But anyway, they would roast a goat. He told me uh whenever they would do a co cock fight. Feel better? Feel better? Well it's not for me. For the culture. But yeah, it yeah, I mean it is what it is. I don't know. Actually I wonder how you say it in Spanish. Yeah.

So anyway, he lived in this neighborhood, you would swear to God that it was Mexico. It was crazy. Like every sign was in Spanish, all the people were in Spanish. There was roosters everywhere. You just on his street you were here uh uh uh Uh uh. Like all day long. It was like it was crazy. And so he had this friend of mine, a friend of his rather, uh, he went to his the we went to the backyard. And in the backyard, there's just

They had so many roosters and they had these prize roosters and they had a whole pit. So they had a thing, it was almost like a barn looking area. Right. And you go in there and there's a pit. Cockpat. And then that that's where they would fight and he he was showing me where they would roast a goat. He said every time they would have a a cock fight, they'd roast a goat and everybody'd have beers and Well if you're gonna have a cock fight you might as well roast a goat. That's what I say.

But if I had a cockpit in my backyard, I'd get it like a Delta pilot and an American Airlines pilot and toss them in. And let them fight it. Let them fight it out in the cockpit. Who do you think would win? Probably Delta'cause they have The DEI program? Do they? Yeah. Or in this case. The D I E program.'Cause someone ain't coming out alive.

Well, I think we need pilots, so maybe you should do it with someone that's like over represented in the marketplace. Like what what would be like we could get rid of some of those folks? Who we could single out? Yeah, we'd be like, we've had enough. There's too many of you guys. Partitions. I'd love to see politicians get in a pit and fight. Two men enter, one man leave. I mean that had to how it went down along. Yeah. Oh, you're talking like cavemen years? Yeah tribal days. Tribal that yeah.

They probably had a fight. My opponent's a piece of shit. He wants to steal all the coconuts. Yeah. Yeah. Well I think I think back then the hierarchy worked based on physical dominance, intimidation. Mm-hmm. Like you'd be a good leader. You got you got your jack. Yeah, I'm not a good leader though.'Cause I'd be like you gotta do what you wanna do. I'm not really interested in running this place, I gotta get out of here.

Yeah. Yeah. It's'cause once you decide you're running it, you're stuck with everything. Yeah, and all the problems are your problems. Wow. And the everyone wants to kill you. Like who the fuck would want to be pres This is why v voting for president is a real problem. Yeah. Like in twenty twenty eight everybody's like Who's gonna win in twenty twenty eight who's gonna win? Who's gonna

Who wants that fucking job? What normal, healthy person wants that job where at least half the country's gonna fucking hate you and the people that you got in that got you in, like they're not gonna be happy'cause you're never gonna be able to do what you're saying you wanna do. It's not even possible. Would you just put up, Jeremy? Seventeen and eight. Yeah.

Many periods of history. According to Perplexity, our AR sponsor, politicians fought literally with fists, canes, swords, and pistols, and some famous ones were killed or badly injured in these classes. Seventeen hundreds, eighteen hundreds, dueling was a common way for gentlemen and politicians to defend their honor in Europe and the United States.

That would be sick. If congressmen, you know, if like on they start screaming and yelling at each other like they always do. Yeah. I challenge you to a duel and everyone's like Let's fucking go. Yeah. Dickinson? Yeah. And was wounded himself. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, Oh, okay. I mean that's a bad review for a book when you go. You piece of shit. I didn't like Tom Sawyer. Boom. Did Dickens write Tom Sawyer? Or Hawk Finn. No, no, no, th that was um Sam Samuel Clemens. Mark Twain Samuel.

Twain. What the hell did Dickens write? Oh I don't remember. Christmas one, the Grinch? Which one does he wrote? Crunched the store. Twist. Oh he wrote that. What year was um put that thing up again about the duels? Because uh so Jackson killed someone In eight two oh six, when was he president? Wow. So he shot someone and then became president. He was a murderer and he became president. Whoa. Secretary. No. What this is crazy. They had a pistol duel with the treasurer secretary.

Hamilton was mortally wounded and died the next day. Wow. UFC fights at the Y. It ended this guy Burr's political career. Scroll back up again. And Aaron Burr. So is the vice president Aaron Burr shot the fucking treasury secretary. That's crazy. Former Treasury Secretary. And killed him and then it ended his career. Even in eighteen oh four they were like, That's outrageous. But isn't that crazy? That was just the eighteen hundreds. Yeah. Two hundred years ago they were shooting each other.

And America's all about guns, so why aren't we just doing that now?

It would end a lot of like really shitty conversations. Yeah.'Cause a lot of people they talk in a way they say horrible mean things because they know there's no repercussions. Yeah. Yeah. If if they could just challenge you to a fist fight on the Senate floor if that was a thing, yeah. Would change a lot.

Representative Preston Brooks of South Carolina entered the US Senate chamber and brutally beat Senator Charles Shumer of Massachusetts with a cane after Summer gave an antislavery speech that insulted Brooks cousin. Summer was left unconscious and badly injured. Well, because he gave an anti slavery speech. Imagine why'd you hit him? The guy's against slavery. Oh Yeah. Thank you. Did you use a weapon at least? Yeah, I used a cane. He's against slavery. What the hell?

Just let'em be against slavery. Yeah. He insulted my cousin, a slave owner. Wow. Well, you know, America's like kinda built on gul gun culture, so it sorta seems to fit, you know. Also combat like It's like violence. There's gonna be a UFC in the White House lawn. Yeah. That seems like a good safe place to be, huh? Everyone's gonna know where all the world leaders are gonna be. We're all gonna be s stuck sitting in that spot for six hours calling fire. You're gonna be there, right?

We're safe. I feel completely safe. But you're gonna be there, right? Oh I'm gonna be there. Do you like the concept of it or no? Because it's outside. And I think world championship fights should be in a controlled environment. Yeah. Yeah. I should say, however It's gonna be a spectacle. Whether I was there or not, I would be watching a hundred percent. Yeah.

It's uh I think it's awesome that Trump this is one of the things that I like about him. He's like Fuck it, let's do it. Yeah. That's nuts. I love that. Yeah. But he does wild shit. I like that. Yeah. I like that part. I don't like the Iran war thing, but I like that. You don't like the concept that uh Iran can no longer have uh nuclear weapons? I think that's better than a UFC fight.

That is a good concept. However, I don't necessarily know there's a clear way to get out of this. And if you know what we did in Afghanistan for twenty years and how much American taxpayer dollars we spent and how many people lost their lives. But in Afghanistan it felt like they were just sweeping out like goat farmers and guys hiding in caves. Whereas here there's a directive where they're preventing

a rebel country from having a bomb that could annihilate portions of our planet. That's so I think that's a much clearer and more positive agenda than wiping out guys living in the hills of Afghanistan, creating opium. That's true, if it made sense. The problem is uh I had Scott Horton on the podcast explaining what is actually involved in making depleted uranium and making weapons grade and what would have to be done in order to get it to a bomb level. It's very

It's not as simple. And they weren't nearly capable of doing that. Not nearly but pursuing. It's a good question because they were being in he was also saying they were being inspected on a regular basis. And essentially this is Israel wanting us to go to this war.

If we were America and Mexico had nukes pointed at us or w whatever, it's not nukes, but you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Like if they did, if they were trying to build a nuke if n Mexico and America were constantly in conflict and Mexico was trying to build a nuclear bomb.

That would be a good reason why I w America would want to go fuck up Mexico. Like, hey you can't have a h nuclear bomb. This is Israel's position. Right. So Israel's right there with Iran. They're close enough, they're throwing missiles at each other. I get why they would want it. I just don't know if it's a good thing for America. And I don't know if there's a way out of it.

Well, I think what we have to look at is the bigger scope, if not America cleaning it up, who does it? Who has the power and the wherewithal to do it? You know, we've used like two thirds of our missiles doing it. Yeah, but we leaves us vulnerable if there's any other kind of a conflict. We're like under arms.

I don't think we're ever underarmed when we have our Triton submarine force lurking in the oceans twenty four seven and nobody knows they're there, even members of American military. What do you know? Oh I know things, guys. Billy tell you this? Billy. Billy's dead. Wait a minute. Do you know something about these Triton submarines? Sure do. What do you think? No. Well they're they're s they're circumnavigating our oceans twenty four seven. How many are there?

I think there's a fleet of twelve to twenty four. I think it's closer to twelve, but these things can stay underwater for up to a year. And most members of our American government don't even know they're there. They don't know where they are. How much underwater jerking off is going on right now? Well think about it. One Triton submarine Triton submarine. I don't know how many guys, but it has something like twenty four nuclear warheads. And how many guys jerk it?

So one of these submarines could take out half the world and we've got'em going all the time. So whenever you're afraid of any little hot spot in the world, just remember that We have this going on in the ocean. A lot of people don't know about I like you say this we shit when you're Canadian. Yeah. Yeah. When the shit hits the fan, Canadians like to pretend they're Americans.

I'm just not worried. Like I'm not worried about America ever being vulnerable. It's it's an area it's it's the a nautical force that you don't really hear about. But if you were to look it up There's this there's this force out there that can take out the world. Well Jamie just looked it up. U.S. Navy submarine force today consists of about fifty-three of fast track of fast attack submarines, fourteen ballistic missile submarines, and four guided missile submarines, all nuclear powered.

That yields a total of roughly 70 to 71 nuclear submarines in the force, making it the world's largest nuclear submarine. Why currently in the oceans is classified, except for people who talk to Harlan. Exactly. Harlan knows. at sea at any moment and their locations are classified for operational security. The Navy does not release real-time deployment figures. Public discussion instead uses overall force and general deployment concepts.

like continuous SSBN deterrent patrols rather than day by day count. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well that makes you feel a little better. Well you need not worry. And that's you didn't even tap into the tridents. The tridents are the nuclear ones that run silent. Hang on. Yeah. You can't? That's tr that's pinging. That's sonar. What do you mean? You can't use sonar to find them? Really? They're huge.

And I told you one one nuclear warhead splits off into sixteen or twenty four. So one of these one of these damn Trident submarines could Put anyone in its place at any time. So don't you worry about our missiles being depleted, Mr. Joe Zachary, Rogan. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know. If I know about submarines, I know about your middle name.

Okay, I'm gonna have to change my license. In current open sources, Trident submarines usually means U.S. Navy, Ohio class ballistic missile submarines that carry Trident two D-5 nuclear missiles, and there are 14 of these boats. There you go. And so these boats are just floating around ready to fuck people up. So do you think it was a good idea to go into Iran and start bombing?

I think whoever's the bad player, I think it's a good idea. If it was North Korea, Iran, Israel, Canada, Mexico Anybody fucking? causing shit in the world. We don't have time for you. Let's get on let's get in line. Let's all work together or you get a time out. You we don't we don't have time for this anymore. We're a society of sophisticated human beings. We gotta move forward. There I am, sonar guy. Okay, yeah, dude. That's what you do in your spare time?

Yeah. Dye your hair before you go under there? Uh What movie was that in? Down Paris. Look at you dog. Yeah. But this is real, guys, so I'm just saying to you, don't ever fret. Okay. There's no one on earth that can threaten America. How did nine eleven happen then? Well that that was land based, that was terrestrial. And that was simple planning and box cutting and hijacking. And

But we're talking about global warfare, nuclear war. Let's say Moscow launched and hit seven of our cities tomorrow. Well guess what? Moscow Dabby seven o'eight Chinese submarine waitin' just off shore for you.

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Right, but there's no one left here to celebrate'cause we're all dead. Well, it doesn't matter. America doesn't lose is what I'm trying to tell you, my guy. Oh we still win when everyone's dead? Yeah, still wind. The guys floating around in the Indian Ocean and the Atlantic and the North So those sailors will be the new civilization America wins even when they lose, my guy. That's why the aliens are under the water. Maybe they're the ones that survived.

Yeah, I don't know about the aliens under the water. Tim Burchette was on this podcast. What does he do? He said that there are three Did he say three bases or five? What is it? Yeah. Ober chat. He's a very honest man. So what did he say? He said that there's these three location I think it's three. See if three or five. I can't remember which one. Yeah, let me tell you. Five. Thank you.

So you said this is these spots under the ocean where regularly they have these events where things come out of the ocean. When you say things, are we talking giant squid, are we talking extraterrestrial They're talking crafts that move in a way that we can't right now. Five hundred miles an hour under the water. They're trans medium and they can go above the ground and in the water with no it doesn't seem like

causing them any resistance. Yeah. Burchette there said there are five underwater bases and in some reports it's fa its phrase is five or six. What? The clearest reporting says he pointed to five areas in the US waters where such bases could be. So they there's a bunch of areas in the ocean and if you think like you were gonna hide something, that's where you would hide it. We can't we don't go in the ocean that much, right?

Well, we go in the ocean but we don't know the ocean. It hasn't been mapped. I think we've only mapped less than ten percent of the ocean floor. We know more about the surface of the moon than we knew know about the bottom of the earth. And so when they're If they're if they were here, that would be the place to hide. Just go to the deepest parts of the ocean where no one can go. Yeah. And you build bases.

'Cause if they can travel here from another planet, James Cameron went to the bottom of the Mariana Trench. We went. Yeah, yeah. So he did that in 2012. If he can do that, for sure something that can come here from another planet can also go down there and most likely set up a base.

I I'm skeptical. I d I'm not denying it, but I'm I'm thinking if you're an extraterrestrial and you're coming to a planet like ours, what what's the upside of going deep down into a trench that's I think it's what three, four, five miles deep, the Arioli trench. Arioles? What's it called? Yeah. Your tit.

Did you catch this yesterday? Probably, maybe not. The new disclosure day track. I did. Steven Spielberg's. Yeah, he's saying it's first of all, bro, cut your nails. You're freaking me out. Wow. That's great. He's a nose picker. Some people keep him long to get boogered. Spielberg probably likes to pull out a crank out a greeny. Boy. Pitch your Spielberg laying in bed at night just crankin' out a green and eating it.

So he said that he believes that we are being v visited much I don't think he does that. He's a respectable man. Nails are booger picking nails. He's just too busy to trim his neck. I don't know. He probably could have someone trim those. Dirty. Booger nails? It looks like an eye almost. What if we had like one long coconut? Like an eye. Fucking coconut, bro. You ever seen an I eye? Those dudes they grow the pinky nail long to let everybody know they do coke. Pull up an I, Jamie.

What does that mean? You'll see in a second, Doctor Coke nail. A Y E A Y E. Maybe it's that ink from the tattoo. Show'em show'em the middle finger of the I. Wow, look at that hook. So they have an elongated middle digit that they stick d deep down into coconuts and melons. And uh that's a Spielberg hook right there. Ha ha ha! Look at that. That's Spielberg at night laying in his waterbed picking greenies. I don't think. I think he does.

Yeah. Aye. Hm. And isn't it interesting, Joe, if we go full circle, if you're down in a Trident submarine and the captain says press X five seven two and obliterate Iran right now. The operator would go, Aye, sir I don't think they say that. I think it's like Roger. The guy's name's Roger. Why did they say Rod? I wonder why they say that. Like it's not Mike.

Roger was based off of the Jolly Roger, the flag. The skull and crossbone. So the nautical term Roger came from that, Jolly Roger. Yeah, but the military uses that too, Roger that. Right. But they adopted it from the uh the navy. Let's find out if that's true. Fine. What what is Roger the term Roger that, where does that come from? As I'm looking that up, do you know Because they cut their fucking eye off. Oh, so they could uh see better at distance? Right. Yeah.

when you know, light when you get accustomed to darkness. The more y but why does why does having one eye closed So did they put the patch over the other eye when they go under at night? You switch. They switch eyes. So they they never have to get adjusted to the dark. Well that's crazy. That is actually kind of amazing. What a smart move. You put one patch over your eye during the daytime and one patch at night and you can always see.

Originally stood for the letter R which is used as shorthand for received in Morse code. Yeah. So saying Roger means I received your message. Oh Bye. And it also hankers back to the uh skull and crossbones, the Jolly Roger, if you pull that up. Eu não acho que ele faz. Yeah, it is. It's a derivative of the uh cranial area of the uh the tibia the tibias cross the cranial Jamie doesn't believe you. The hell's going on? When Jamie laughs, I know something's up.

What is uh Jolly Roger? No. The Roger and Radio Talk and the Roger and Jolly Roger come from different traditions and are not historically connected. Do you think this is maybe top secret information that you know and maybe you just made a mistake by telling the whole world? Can I answer it with uh You've just been sonard player.

So imagine If there was a super sophisticated, uh intelligent civilization that existed way before Like thirty thousand years ago. And then they had developed underwater travel, space travel, all that jazz. Then the apocalypse comes and the only ones that survive are the Trident submarine guys that are in the ocean. Right. Maybe that's why all these bases are in the ocean. Maybe they are the the last remaining survivors of a super advanced civilization.

That existed thousands and thousands of years before like Mesopotamia. But my point to you, Joe, good point. Valid. Valid. I'm gonna play. Daddy's gonna play. I'm not even refuting it. But I'm gonna roll it. Around the old Canadian doll. It around and I'm gonna come back at you. with an argument that if I'm an intelligent life force and I've got this sphere with oceans and land, why do I want to make life harder for myself? Do you know the pressure?

that you're at, uh three miles down in the ocean, the amount of pressure that comes look what happened to that little that little submarine that popped about three years ago. Right. So why do you want to live in an environment where you have so much pressure when you could simply land on the terrestrial plane and live pressure free?

Because if they are insanely advanced, one of the things that's proposed is that they have some sort of a gravity bubble. And this is how they move through space and this is how they don't use propulsion. That they essentially Exactly. That's why these crafts act as transmedium crafts. When these crafts are flying and they go into the ocean the the ocean rather, there's virtually no splash. And they're moving five hundred miles an hour.

Exactly. They're not they're not existing in the same space time as we are. They have a bubble, and this bubble completely distorts everything. So you're saying if they descended into the depths of our ocean, they wouldn't experience the pressure because the bubble Yeah. Sure. Interesting. What is your purpose for going underwater when you could just land on the surface of the earth? Well maybe they're observing. Maybe they're observing us and making sure that we don't fuck things up.

How can they observe us if they're three miles underwater? Well, they come out of the water, Harlan. That's the whole reason why they know they're there. Cause they keep experiencing these crafts that are rising out of the water in these very specific locations. Yeah. You seem like a disinformation agent from the government or something. I am, I am I am. You should work on the being a little more stealthy.

what do you mean because It's very obvious to me that you're what the kids call controlled opposition. Well, that could be me counterintuitively pre programming you to think sideways. Will be the benefit of that. What's the benefit of living a mile down in the ocean in the Arioli Rift? I think the whole the whole reason they're in the ocean is because that's where we won't find them.

Like if you wanted to watch like a civilization, if we went to another planet, okay, let's say this. We let's say we go to another planet and we find people that are living like cave people. They're killing each other with spears. They're you know, robbing and raiding villages. If we wanted to just observe and we had the ability to observe from the sky, motionless with no sound at all, and just watch them, don't you think we would do that?

We wouldn't interfere. We would want to know as much about them as we could. Right. Every now and then when one of'em was going to get watered, we'd fucking dart'em with a tranquilizer dart, check their DNA, take some jizz. And then leave'em there. Just like they do to us. We would do the exact same stuff if we could do it. If we were just A little more advanced than we are now.

So not, you know, millions of years in advance, which we think maybe possibly some civilizations are, but maybe a a hundred years or a thousand years. And we found a planet and that planet had cave people on it. One hundred percent. We would do most of the things that these aliens are doing. If we had a way where we could dart them and tranquilize them and they'd have no idea that we did it and they would just wake up in the jungle confused, we would do it.

if we did medical tests on them, we could take them Bring her to a secure medical facility that we had, maybe in a helicopter or some sort of a spaceship that we've created, and we d run some tests on them, take some sperm, take some skin samples, do a fucking CAT scan on'em, whatever, and then put'em back in the jungle. We would do it.

This isn't mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. We're not wildebeest. We're not SEALs. Like clearly they share some of the intelligence we have. They're masters of aeronautics. We've mastered aeronautics. So what's with all the mystery? Like if they can communicate and they can talk and they can build as we can. No, we're too primitive. Why don't they just how do you know that? Because if you Hey, let's go to the Let's go chat to the idiot. No. If we're that dumb. At least we could communicate

Our fighter jets fly with their fire our fighter jets track them. We lock onto them. No, they don't. So we're sharing aeronautical intelligence. No no no. Joseph they're trying to find them and then they d dart away and move in ways that we can't explain. We see them, we track them, we share the same airspace. We're both flying. I don't know why I'm getting so fired up.

Yeah, but still dude, if we went to another planet and found Australopithecus, we found an early human uh you know, one of the early primates. Okay. One hundred percent we would dart it. One hundred percent. We would tranquilize it, we would run tests on it, we would want to know about it. One hundred percent. Okay, you're talking about a Neanderthal. Right, that's what we are to them. Let's uh

Little Greys with the big heads and they communicate telepathically and they could fly here instantaneously from other solar systems. We might as well be the ape people. But why the evasion? Like if you saw Homo Picathus or whatever it's called Australia Pithaus. Holding up a cell phone, would you still go, let's dart it and probe it and let it go? Why wouldn't you just go, Hey, that m that monkey's got a cell phone? Let's go talk to it. We can talk. We have cell phones like

Why the why the mysterious distance? Like if they're in the ocean and they know we're intelligent beings, why not just come up and say, Hey, anyone wanna go snorkeling? I think Australopithecus with a spear is about as intelligent to us as we are to them. But if they have an evolved language and they have communities and a civilization, isn't that enough for us to just walk into camp and go, hey guys? I mean they did it with with tri with uh you know

r uh uh uh tribes that live in the Amazon. Who's that guy uh who's the guy they boiled in the pot, that famous saying? Uh what's that famous oh I I can't think of it right now. Uh but anyways we we wandered into into the Amazon and walked right up to like weird Amazon tribal people. It's not like we hid and tried to hide from them. Yeah, but they didn't know those people were even there.

Right. But when they found them, they integrated, they approached them, they go, Hey, this is a T shirt, this is a camera Those are human beings that are the exact same kind of human beings as the people that were visiting them. They're not different species. Still. No.

So if you, Joe Rogan, were out in a field one day and you saw a new species of like People jumping around, having a picnic, sharing a salami. But that's... Or do you or would you go hey, Hey, uh who are you? What are you? Well, you're not even allowed to contact uncontacted people. Say that again. You're not allowed to contact like North Sentinel Island, that island in the middle of the Indian Ocean where that uh preacher went and got killed'cause he was trying to bring them Bibles. Right.

You're not allowed to contact uncontacted tribes. Uh is that like all of them? Most of them. I don't think so. Indian Ocean they they they have that North Sentinel Island protected. And you know, there's people that discourage people from contacting people in the Amazon. There's several uncontacted tribes in the Amazon. I wish they'd stay that way. Yeah. Stay on contact. Well I don't wanna see a beautiful like pygmy or someone from an Amazonian tribe wearing an Adidas. Why not?

Or a Hooter shirt. No. That'd be fun. I wanna see them wearing like kook kook feathers and uh, you know, ooka pick bones. I wanna see it. Oh Joe, come on guy. No. See that? Why not? Well then that's why the aliens under the ocean are staying away from us. They don't want to be corrupted by our ridiculous society of hooters and cracker barrels. Okay. If you were in the Amazon, wouldn't you want a T shirt? If I was a uh

If you were walking through the Amazon, you, Harlan Williams, yeah, the third, right now, alive in uh twenty twenty six, if you were in the Amazon and I said, Would you like to wear a T shirt while you're walking through the Amazon? Yeah. What would you say? As a white North American male, I'd say definitely. And they want one too. No, it's not. Bottom's got a

Look, he's got flip-flops. That guy on the right is baller. Horrible. That is the baller of the fucking neighborhood. That's the guy that pulls up in the 65 Chevelle, and everybody's like, look at him with his flip-flop. I think that's that guy who wrote Margaretaville. What was his name? Jimmy Buffett. That's Jimmy Buffett forgot. Mike Rita. Okay. What's it called? Mike Mary, isn't that him? I think that's him.

You guys are getting way too close. You know you get dinged like they're not. Yeah. They take away your fucking advertising revenue if you hum a song. Okay. Th these dirty criminals. Wow. Hum hum a song, you dirty scundelags trying to steal advertising money. What if we mess with them and hum a tune and sort of play name that tune with them? You know what they'll do? They'll fucking ding ya. Even if they can't figure it out. Like they've got to sit around the office Then you have to go to court.

Name that tune in seven notes and I'm like mm Don't do it. You fucked us up. You know what song now? I don't care. I do. It was uh that Pink Floyd uh song. No, no, no, don't you don't say that because then they'll get us. Yeah but they don't know which one. Doesn't matter. And they can't prove it. Oh. All they have to do is make a claim. Huh. And then you have to fight it and you'll You're Joe Rogan though. They're not gonna mess with you guy.

By the way, dude, you are jacked. I'll work out. Can we get your shirt off? No. How come? Joe? Don't be selfish. I want you to would you please take your shirt off? What reason? Because you have a beautiful body and you work so hard at it. And no one gets to see it. And you know you want people to see it, but you can't do it. You can't go, well I'm Joe Rogan, I crafted this body. But if I ask you to, you get to show it off. I don't really want to show it off. That's why I wear clothes.

You do though. It's like if you did this podcast but didn't put it out, what's the point? I don't think that's the same thing. I would love it if you showed your beautiful body. I love it. Here you go. Oh, yeah. Joe. Yeah. No. اشتركوا في القناة Can we talk about before you put the shirt on, can we talk about it? What do you want to talk about? How you do that. I work out. You could do it too. Well ti work out? Do you really want to get into this? Sure. You do. Ja.

Because I'm about to crack an egg open on your show that I don't think anyone's ever talked about. How often you work out? A lot. What are you doing these days? Okay. You want to get into this. Here we go. Here we go, Joseph Zachary Rogan. I'm I don't want to get in trouble. But I'm working out by the way, beautiful body. Your chest is stunning. See I'm glad you didn't make it. Like some men I would be like, This is odd. No, no, I'm not a fly guy. What does that mean? Like h homosexual.

I'm straight as they come, but I believe in holding up people's hard work. And that didn't just come from sitting around eating Pringles and Baskin Robins. You worked your ass off. You deserved to show it and you never could'cause it's you. And now I get to help celebrate you and all your fans got to see all that hard work and I love it, guy.

But I'm straight as a Chinese truck driver. Chinese truck drivers are never gay? Never. Is that part of the job? Yeah. How many guys are jerkin' off to you just taking your shirt off? But how many guys are jerking off to me taking my shirt off while they're under the ocean? Let me check. If you got fourteen subs. How many people on each side? How many men are on each show? It might not be known. Let's take a guess. They keep it very secret. How many people are on each sub?

I'm gonna say A thousand? Really? On the trident. The trident are like floating cities. But how many how many people are on each submarine? How many like could one of those submarines hold? A sm a small Small one is thirty to seven. A small one? Yeah. Large one is one hundred and twenty eight to hundred and forty. Wow. Mm. That seems about it. Big. And there's fourteen of so there's at least a thousand dudes underwater right now. But it's so there's forty to seventy.

Forty, seventy thousand guys under the water? Yeah. Whoa. So don't worry about United States taking a hit, my guy. This is crazy. Miss Wilde? That's a crazy statistic. I'm always glad when you drop by. But this is crazy. Forty to seventy thousand people are underwater in submarines at any given moment with huge uncertainty.

Why we can only estimate. No Navy or company publishes a live count of how many submarines are deployed right now or how many crew are aboard each one and how many deployments are cro classified. Civilian research and tourism subs are also not tracked in a global real time way. Wow. That's crazy. So that could be a whole new civilization. So if they blow up the earth, but how many chicks? Well that's the thing. The ratio's probably not good.

The ratio's probably non existent. How many chicks are in these subs? That's classified. Are they do they have girls that serve it? There's there's girl submariners. What is the number? It's like ten to one. And worse, what do they look like? But I bet they're the fucking cream of the crop underwater. 'Cause the pressure squeezes in all the cellulite? No. No, no, there's no other girls. Oh, oh, yeah, you got it. Yeah. Yeah, no competition.

Like how many ladies let's take a guess at how many ladies are underwater at any given time. Yeah. Ten percent. Temperature. Women are likely well under ten percent of submarines worldwide. Yeah. With higher percentages in a few navies such as US and some NATO allies. Those are the ones that are in trouble. It was six hundred and two. finest submarines in the US twenty twenty. Six hundred and nine women get Getting how many dudes hitting on them. Yeah.

It's it must be hell. Be underwater with a guy who's annoying you and you can't get away from him. He's farting. Yeah. Underwater sacks. Yeah hard.

But let's see. What the shit? Oh yeah, the tridents go out for I think uh a year almost. And so what do they do with their shit? They just eject it. They eject it into the sea. They're not doing anything a whale isn't doing. But do they eject it into the sink? I mean they can't make meatloaves. Can you imagine if like during that process, somehow or another, it got clogged up'cause somebody used too much toilet paper and the subsinks. Fatty. Because Javier just took a giant dump.

They might melt it. They can rise up too. Don't forget they can breathe. Throw it into the nuclear pit where the engine is. Okay, that's trash. Well I that's I'd Did you ask about poop? Yeah, and it's ask about poop, just specifically, because waist can mean you know paper cut. It's

Same thing though. I would always go now if you were jettisoning your poop everywhere, you might want to have detectors for human waste in the water and you might start figuring out where He's operating on another level. That was. This is a dude that's in the conspiracy. He operates on other levels.

Tracking. Do you know that term can neither confirm nor deny? Came from a Russian submarine that was sunk that we were pulling out of the ocean and they was and they had to they got questioned about it and they said are are we Possession of this rubbish Russian sub? Are we pulling it out of the ground? And they said we could neither confirm nor deny because they had to answer. So that is an answer. That's the same thing. Neither confirm nor deny.

Sort of, but it's you actually are answering. You can neither confirm nor deny. That's like saying I'm what do you do for a living? I'm in heating and air conditioning. No, because that's a very specific trade. Well, they kinda counteract each other. What do you do? I'm in shipping and receiving. Are you sure? I can neither confirm nor deny.

But I want to talk to you about my workout regime. Okay. Cause you are I'm doing something so advanced. Uh you do the ice baths, right? Mm. You you soak in them? So I'm doing something so extensive that I'm exercising myself into a new race. What are you becoming? And no one's said this before on your podcast, I don't think. But I'm working out so hard to become a new race. And two words. Gera Rafa You take your ice baths and Gera Rafa, my guy. What was that?

Jamie, look it up and do it quick, you whore. I mean d do it quick. Uh a Garara Rafa? Look it up. You becoming a pish? Oh that's not any fish. The Gera Ruffa people submerse their legs and feet into the tank. And the Gararufa have vibrating lips, Joe. And they eat skin cells. Picture this underwater. Those are the ones like when you go into Thailand and ladies dump their legs into a fish pile. Right. Yeah. Cho? And how are you working out to become one of those?

So while while you're taking your ice baths, I'm submerging my whole body, my lower These fish are sculpting my body, my lower extremities. And have you ever heard of malaria pills? Yes. So while everyone else is popping Ozempic and doing everything else, I've been on malaria pills for four years. And these things can flip. Your blood platelet. Okay, that's the power of malaria pill. They can actually change your red blood cell count and your white blood cell count. It's powerful medicine.

So with the use of my malaria pills and the garffas And I don't know if you wanna see the results, but my legs are hammer jacked right now. My legs are Okay. Come on. Okay, are you sure? Yeah. And before I do it I'm I'm going into a new race and I don't want anyone to accuse me of doing black leg. I don't know if you've ever seen it. Take a phase. The fastest man in the world is who? Bolt. Hussein Bolt. The biggest high jumper in the world is a black man.

The longest long jumper is a black man. The f highest vertical jumper is a black man. And this isn't racist, this isn't blackleg, but this is me. What are you doing? Working out into a new race. And I'm proud of this. Pull your pants off. I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. Yeah. These legs are jacked. Ha ha ha ha. Look at these legs. Why are they a different color? Well I told ya I'm working out into a n another race. Fucking serious leg muscles, man. Yeah. Where'd you get those leg muscles?

I told ya. What's going on with your underwear? That's kind of crazy. What is my underwear? What kind what the the fuck do you have on your leg? Dude, I told you I'm working out right into another race. Are those your real legs? Yeah. That's very impressive. You don't have like silicon over'em or anything? Those are your actual leg muscles? Wait a minute. Why is it you can take your shirt off and I don't s I compliment you?

But it's like your legs don't ma mass they don't m match up with the rest of your body. The colours off. No, the muscles are crazy. Stand up again. Yeah. Those muscles are insane. Yeah, look at these. Are those real? Well what Tell me the truth. They look like plastic. It looks like you're wearing something. Jamie, those are the most insane legs I've ever seen in my life, right? Right? If that was a guy weighing in at a UFC fight, that would make sense. But Two words.

Gara Rafa. Why did you get those legs? If I sit in the tank, I'll get legs like that. Well are you taking malaria pill? Oh no. You do my combo. Do you wanna stand up. Let me see the pants. 아멘 Ha ha ha. And look at the skin difference. I'm not Take your shirt off so I can see where the skin changes color. If you take your shirt off again I will. It did. But I want to do it together. Yeah. You son of a bit, you son of a bit. You Rogan, what have you done for me?

Where did she get those fucking pants? Ha ha ha ha! Uh Don't fall in there, don't fall in there! A gourd. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. The only thing I could fit in there was a gourd. Ha ha ha. AHHHHH Oh, oh, oh! Oh my god! Ciao! When I first saw your legs I was like what the fuck is going on? How does he have legs like I just noticed earlier, he's got some baggy pants on. Where the fuck is it? What did she get those? Good? Why can't I look good? You look great.

You could wear those like to a a pool, like a public pool, and the ladies would definitely be checking you out. Yeah. They'd be like, look at his gourd. Can I leave the gourd with Dimitri? Can we add to the collection? I'm gonna have people smell it. I'm gonna tell'em smell that. Smell that. That was in Harlan Williams' pants. Dude. Not even in his pants. It was like rubbing up against his cock. I'm gonna leave that there for people to smell. Yeah.

Yeah, but next time someone comes in, they go what's all this stuff? Rabbit first. I'm like, smell that. Can I pull my pants up? Sure. Well you are wearing pants. You're wearing rubber. Wow. Rubber muscle. Don't you want legs like that for real? That's like me saying, Don't you want a chest like that for real? You're hairier than I thought. Really? Are you part Armenian? No great. Mm. Hang on, I gotta pull my pants up. Ha ha ha. There we go. Ah fuck.

No it's a go And you're worried about a song getting dinged? Ha ha. Oh my god! Ha ha ha. Silly motherfucker. Ugh. Oh my god. Oh Do you know how to do that? Crystal. You know how moist my balls are right now? Yeah how bad that gourd must smell. Uh. Whew.

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But I am proud of you'cause Ha ha ha ha. Oh my god. I'm proud of you that you took your shirt off because I'm not joking. You worked so hard for that. Thank you. And You could never show it. You had to have a conduit. You had to have someone invite you to do it so it didn't look self-centered or conceited. You deserve to show that hard work to the world. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome.

I love it. And I hope it's an inspiration to people watching to want to be as physically fit and put together. It's great, right? Sure. I feel like Remember when you were a kid they had those books where you could take half a body and half a body and remember their little kids' books and you'd fold. Yeah, you fold them.

I feel like if we took your upper part and put it on my lower part, we'd have the immaculate human being and then those fart bubbles from the bottom of the ocean wouldn't have a trouble coming around. Suck us a dirty lasagna! Sorry.

I get excited, Joe. Maybe it's the like forever chemicals leaking through the rubber underwear you're wearing. They're not underwear. How dare you You take'em off'cause you're sweating. That's leeching into your blood right now. God, I don't want to die. But you know what's interesting? My legs are bronze and we don't talk about the bronze people. We always talk about white and black. Mm-hmm. But what about the Bronzies? The Incas, the Mayas.

I mean these people and the legs on them, did you ever see Apocalypto? Mm-hmm. And I don't know if this is in any history books anywhere, but those bronzies could motor. Yeah. True. So I've got legs where if I'm being chased, if a rapist is coming after me, I'm outta here. There's three men in this room, two of you are getting raped, not me. I in these legs I could jump over uh Dolly Parton's gazebo. By the way, speaking of Arioles, have you seen hers? I haven't.

They're the size of lily pads. I had a I had a one nighter with her about three weeks ago. She A one night show. A one night stand. We were jackhammering all night. Picked her up at a bar in Malibu. I don't think it was really Dolly Part. It was Oh she was that night. Dude, it was her. And her areoles are the size of lily pads. I'm not kidding. I woke up in the morning, there were two bullfrogs sitting on her tits. Why are you looking at me like that? Not for me. Have you seen my legs?

Also she's a very respected lady. Yeah. It's the way I said effing. We we made love. Oh okay, I feel better. I feel a lot better now. Yeah. I should keep it classy. Do you like'em big, the big area ones? I like a big areole. Right reminds me of a pancake. Like sometimes I'll put a dollop of butter on it. It's a robust woman. Yeah. Like it's a lot going on.

Yeah. And the dark ones. And they're great to take with you camping. If you ever have a rubber raft and you get a hole in it, you can rip one off and patch it. Yeah. Well you don't camp much. Yeah, but if you don't have one you can rip off a dirty areoli. Hoping you're gonna get out of the woods. Well if you can't then you're with a chick you got an areola. Loser Ariola forever? Just because you forgot to bring a patch?

Yeah, but it's you're you s what do you want? One your one areoli less so you have your life back. Plus if she's eighty, they don't those don't heal. She could die from infection. It's about living. It's not about Having an areoli. You want to get out of the woods or not, uh one titty Jackson? Or whatever her name is. Okay.

Speaking of sex, have you been on this OnlyFans thing? Have you gone on? It's all I'm hearing about. You hear right? All you hear about now is onlyfans dot com. Yeah. They do comedy shows. I finally go on this thing'cause it's all I'm hearing about. OnlyFans dot com. I go on about a week ago, and I'm on there for about two hours. And it's just video after video after picture. And I'm on there s so long my eyes are like Right. Spinning.

And finally I stopped the damn thing and I'm like, screw this. I already have central air conditioning. Why the hell am I looking at this site? I don't need a fan. I mean, good lord. I'll pull my legs out. I will pull my dirty bronze legs out and wrap them around your neck like a dirty anaconda. Fuck is wrong with you. Do you think if you're a woman you'd be doing OnlyFans? You know, it's an interesting question. It's a moral moral dilemma, isn't it?

Let's imagine if Harlan was a female and Harlan was twenty one and just got here from Canada. With these legs? those legs. And not a lot of weight. Not a lot of ways to make a living, but you're cute. Desperate times call for desperate matters, Joe Rogan. You know, it's it's a delay it's a serious question and it's almost a sad one in today's world.

Because in the old days you had your sex industry sort of confined to the shadows. And now anyone's daughter, cousin, niece, nephew, that they they can suddenly be exposed to the world in the most Promiscuous way, but in the most profitable way. That's the problem is also you get addicted to the money. Let's imagine let's imagine you're a lady. Uh and um

You have a site and you know, you show your feet and stick things inside your butt or whatever you do. And you're making What was that last part? Stick stuff inside your butt. If you're a lady. Yeah. Like what? Some ladies they put uh like dildos in there and stuff. Okay. No, but I'm just assuming it happens. Doesn't that happen, Jimmy? Sure. Sure. I'm pure as a driven snow, sir. Ciao. Not real life. No. Stick a r rubber dick inside their butthole. I don't want to be there for that.

You ever been through a car wash? I have. What's the difference? One of'em's your butt where you shit out of, and you're putting a rubber dick inside of it. The other one is you're getting your car washed. You make a good point. Point is, my if you were making yeah if you're doing all this and you developed a nice fan base you're making a hundred thousand a month, three hundred thousand a month, yeah, and then you don't feel good about

And what do you do? Do you just s save up the money and quit? How you if you meet a nice guy and and he's like, So what do you do for a living? Well, let me tell you, I don't want to do it anymore, but I take rubber dicks and I oil my butthole up and I shove'em in there with a a you know, H D camera a few inches from my butthole. The guy send me tips. I think the subtext here, Joe, is what is the price

you put on your dignity. Right. What is the price you put on your spirit? Because This stuff it may seem fun in the moment. But you get down the road and it follows you.

Well we looked it up. Yeah it's something crazy like ten percent of girls aged eighteen to twenty four in the United States are on OnlyFans. This is a tough question and you can tell me to shut up if you want. Okay. You have a daughter, don't you? I have three daughters. You have three daughters. I have four sisters. I would not I told you she was doing OnlyFans, what would your reaction be? I think I made a a big failure as a But how would you approach it with said daughter?

Well, you would give them advice. First of all, your daughter or your son or any is a human being. You don't own them. Right. If you treat them like you own them and they have to listen to you, they'll never listen to you and they're gonna rebel. This is just human nature. Excellent point. You have to give them advice and you have to talk to them and talk to them about the repercussions of what they're doing and realize that this stuff will folly.

And some people are gonna be fine with that. Look, there's some ladies that are like, Look, I don't ever want a fucking regular job. I'm not I'm ashamed of my body and maybe they're not sticking things up their butt, maybe they're just being naked and they're like, This is way better than having a job, fine. Top one percent. Top earners make about eighteen thousand to forty nine thousand dollars per year. Whoa, that's it? That's not much. I could work at Denny's for that.

What so the top zero point one percent make a hundred thousand per month or one point two million annual. That's the top zero point one but the top one percent only make eighteen thousand to forty nine thousand a year. So you imagine you're making eighteen thousand dollars or forty nine thousand dollars a yeah you're still living in poverty If you're making eighteen thousand dollars a year, you're poor and you are showing your pussy and you're no one's paying for it. Yeah.

Wait a minute, but Joe, I know that you You have a bit of a rage side. Like Joe knows how to rage because you're a fighter. You know how to go into that red zone. You're an in you can be an intimidating force. Is there a world where your daughter says, Daddy, I'm doing this, and Joe just goes, You're fucking not? Like, is it- Do you go into the red zone or do you think it's not? That's not gonna the if you do that with your kids, they're not gonna listen to you.

But what if you did it just because of the reaction where you were so mad or disappointed? You would only be that mad if someone was doing something terrible to them. Okay. I like I like what I'm hearing here. have to you have to be a human. Yeah. You're you're the parent, but you also you gotta understand human nature.

I know people that yell at their kids or and I know kids that have been yelled at and they always resent that. They they they're always angry. It's uh it's a stupid way to handle things. Something happened here just now that I was not expecting today. I got to see a side of you that

I didn't know if it was there or not,'cause I don't know your family life, but I got to feel for a second dad vibes, dad love. And I think I sort of pictured you sitting with your daughter and being very reasonable and loving Well hopefully I never have to have that con I hope so too. But I I I see you as an understanding, nurturing dad in that moment. I love that.

I try to be. Yeah. That's the goal. I mean, if you want to have a relationship with your kids. And you know, my daughters are teenagers. And we've never gone through a period where you always hear these periods where the kids rebel against you and they hate you. Yeah. That's never happened. And I think it's probably never happened because we always just communicate and I try to be as Reasonable. I love it. That's what I could see.

You gotta be very supportive too. Yeah. It's hard to be a kid, man. It's even harder to be a kid today than ever before because of social media and all the pressures that they face and And then also this weird world that they're entering into where AI might be taking all the jobs. So they're like, what the fuck am I going to do? What am I going to do with my life? I love AI. Yep, you're on. What's your favorite part about it? I love it, Joe, because it's it's opening a door to

Creativity for everybody. Now, a lot of people are being pessimistic and saying it's taking away our creativity. But think about any art gallery you've ever been to. You go in, you see the Renoir, the Degas, the Dali, all the all the usual suspects, Van Gogh, Goya, all of them, right? Right. Those have all been placed there over the centuries as the art that we all know and have adopted. And that came from a select group of individuals very talented.

um, contributed to our culture and our history, but it's a pool of about maybe two hundred artists through the course of history. Right. Now think about a guy you bumped into working in the sprinkler aisle at Home Depot three weeks ago. Who's got a wife and kids and maybe doesn't have the opportunity or the wherewithal to tap into his artistry?

But now that guy and the guy at Dunkin' Donuts and the girl that works at the car wash and every human being now has a way to express their hidden talent. And so with AI they can go home at the end of the night and press a few buttons and go, I imagined this thing and AI's letting me get it out and the world gets to see it. Same with medicine, same with inventions. How many

Elon Musk are there that grew up in poverty and never got the chance to expand on a concept or an idea because they didn't have the means. But if AI starts to open these doors for every human being Think of the barrage of incredible visual and conceptual designs that are gonna come at us and a lot of them will probably be practical and actually work. And the common man and woman didn't have access to that before. That's one way of looking at it. That's super positive. I love it. That's true.

Example in my own life, I come from the animation world and I like to write. And a few years back I pitched an animation idea around Hollywood and it got rejected. And so now me and a few of my friends in the dawn of AI are creating the same thing that got rejected and we're gonna put it out into the world. We couldn't have done it two, three years ago, it would have cost us three million dollars.

Now we're doing it for a few thousand. And it looks like a Pixar movie. It looks like Pixar. So if you tell me that AI isn't opening a whole new world I i it it's not true it is. It's letting all of us dig really deep and expose our gifts and our talents. And yeah, there's always the downside, but let's try and look at the good side of it too. I like what you're saying.

Thank you, Joe. Um the the downside is the people that don't want to be creative and they want to be accountants or they want to be lawyers or they wanna like those jobs are gonna be. Stop. How about that accountant's an accountant because he can never tap into the artistry that hides within him or the lawyer. Perhaps but now after hitting the machines all day, he can go home and go, You know what? I never could have done this before, but I'm gonna create a b an image, a painting, a drawing

in ten minutes that I've always wanted to show the world. So that's what I'm saying. Even those pessimists can now Throw off the demons on their back that are inhibiting them, and it's gonna allow all of us to be so much more expressive. Yeah. That's my take. Well hopefully.

I mean that's the question like what do people do if there's no more jobs and you just get money from the government because AI creates so so many so much abundant resource that no one has to work anymore. Are you gonna find things to do that are interesting? And maybe AI is gonna help you do that.

I'll tell you this, Joe. Probably seven or eight years. I bet we're sitting here, me and you going, Remember AI? 'Cause we're humans, man, we don't stop. People think AI is gonna be the end of the line. It's just another stepping stone to our progression.

to where we're meant to go. You believe in higher forces, I know that. Mm-hmm. So this is just one of the st remember when people thought, I'm not getting a cell phone, I'm not getting on the internet. I don't want a fax machine. But we just keep going. We're humans. We

keep going up those stairs, we're adventurers, we're curious, we never stop. And so AI is just another small thing. As big as it seems now, as robust as it seems, it's just a small Step in the giant ladder that's leading this weird species that we are to a bigger, higher, distant place. Hmm. Look at you, dude. You should do a seminar. I should show my legs again. Well I'm telling right now we're sharing'em. Yeah.

But don't you think all these things we come up with are leading to something where we're meant to go? Yes. I don't think we're all just here randomly and wars and fighting and this. I think it's all we're the worker ants right now. And were the platform for the future work grants to get to the pinnacle that we don't even know what it is yet, and maybe there is no pinnacle. But whatever force created us, Joe

They want us to keep going. That's why we search the oceans and the space and the moon and the planets. We're gonna keep going. Yep. And AI is a tool for us to get there. So you can be pessimistic. You can be like, oh AI and oh But why don't you just spend your time looking at the positive side of things?

I agree with you about the direction that we're going. I think that's what we're meant to do. I just think that we are in a time of insane change and that makes people scared. Yeah. But you know, s being scared almost make also makes us feel alive. Think think about the most vibrant moments in your life. How about after nine eleven?

days. Oh yeah. People people it's like someone kicked the ant nest open and we were all scurrying around looking for the eggs. The ants always preserve the eggs. Yeah. But those eggs were our lives and our neighbors. We were talking and communicating. We're friendly with each other, yeah. Yeah. We realize the importance of of a communal existence. Mm-hmm. We realize the importance of needing each other.

Yeah, people get very complacent and they need to be shook up every now and then. Yeah. It's very good for you. And maybe AI if there's one downside to it it could maybe create a bigger cocoon for us because we'll have so much at our fingertips it may isolate us even more. But but we have to look beyond all these weird parameters we set and go, what what's the upside? What's it doing for us?

Well, it's inevitable and it's gonna happen no matter what and I think people always figure out a way to be okay. Yeah. And I think that's gonna happen. And there's gonna be a s a time of great upheaval and it's gonna change a lot but Hopefully people will be all right and they're gonna have to adapt and learn and grow. And we always have to do that. And we always Well, and most likely it'll be better for everybody overall. This idea that Elon keeps pushing is universal high in.

is that people will have plenty of money, abundant resources, and there's not gonna be a problem of food, shelter, medical, education, all that stuff's gonna go away because of AI. And the real problem would be what do you decide to do with your life? What do you decide to do with Right. But you'll have the freedom to do whatever you want with your time. Just think about how little crime there's gonna be if there's abundant resources and no one has to steal anymore.

No more stealing, no more robbing, and no more poverty. I don't know. Or if it is in fifty years or a hundred years. But no more poverty is wild.

No more poverty is a reality. Criminality, I think, you have to remember there's people who don't engage in criminality to make money. They engage in criminality as a passion. A lot of criminals like the process. They like the game playing. They like the herd and the and the chess moves. They they like winning. They like deceiving. Right. They're like drug dealing. Right.

Making a big deal and a submarine shows up in San Diego and you pull the fucking Coke bags out or throw them in the back of a Mercedes. There's even the the ad adversarial component where they like the idea of killing their competition. Yeah, it's a war. So we'll I don't think we'll ever transcend You know, the criminal element of it. You never know though.

AI develops to the point where we have literal telepathy and we could read each other's minds. You won't be able to plot any kind of crimes like that anymore. Or, and this is because I think it never ends, does AI design something to help us plot? You know what I mean? Maybe it just if you're a criminal, it just puts you in a simulation where you're allowed to do like Grand Theft Auto but in real life. Yeah.

You know, you just lock in and all of a sudden you're on the streets in Chicago and you're running down the street with a gun, you shoot a guy and take his Mercedes and you're just having a good time. But then you come right back to real life. Phew. And it's fine. Everything's fine. This is what I like that it's it's so endless and it it's gonna take so many twists and turns.

Well then there's the question is has that already happened? Are we in a simulation right now? Oh yeah, I think we talked about this last time. I don't believe so. But can I take you back a second? Take me back to the old days. Exactly. Picture Pioneer Village. Betty O'Connor churnin' some butter down by the blacksmith shop. Kyle McGivin's shaven timbers to build a log cabin. Amish.

Do you think that those people who were in covered wagons and were us, just the old version of us, do you think they ever pulled the covered wagon to the side of the trail and went Hey, Jedediah, do you think we're in a simulation? Like, I think we've created this simulation talk because we do have all this computer and you know, we're in this world now that that's full of contraptions. Killing me. But I don't think we're we're we're in a simulation.

You sure the pioneer days even really happened? Oh, you got me, you son of a whore. I'm walking off the show. I'm walking off the show. Fuck you. And this isn't a Those big rubber legs get the fuck out of here. The only guy to walk off your show with fake legs. I mean if you think about it, we think that the Pioneer Days happened. We can go to the museum and we could see Pioneer Day wheels and What about the butter churn and Joe? The sweet butter churn.

A bunch of people that studied it in universities allegedly, if they're real people. I don't even know if they're real. I don't even know if you're real. Why would you have rubber legs? This doesn't make sense. You showed up here with rubber pants and a gourd over your cock? It doesn't make any sense. You're right. I don't even think I'm real anymore. Not me. Good point. For real, for real.

I I think we're real. I th I think it's not a simulation. I don't know how how how do you make a simulation? Like how what we're just we're all like pixels right now and like it w there's too much Do you know the uh DMT laser thing? So when people smoke DMT, apparently if you use like a DeWalt construction laser, you know in those lasers they use to make sure things are level? Yeah. Yeah. If you get above that laser and look down on it, you see code. In the laser.

Like matrix code, like the number It's like and people see the same code. They they describe it exactly the same. Okay. And so people see it the if you look to the side, you look underneath it, you look you see the code in the laser. And people think that this laser is exposing the code of the simulation that we live in. This is w supposedly what it looks like. I mean, I just am not there. You see symbols and like weird numb I haven't done it.

If I see the whole drum set I'm in, but if it's just the cymbals, forget it. I haven't done it, but I know a lot of people who have done it. And everyone that I know that's done it has said the same thing. They said, it is fucking insane. DMT? No yeah, but DMT with this laser. So when you look down the laser, everybody that I know that's done it say it blew their fucking mind. You see all these weird symbols, they look like hieroglyphs or some foreign language or numbers and it's very bizarre.

I don't know. It it just seems to me why run us through the drama of a life, a human life where we're born, we endure pain, illness, suffering, love, hate, all the emotions.

To be s a a simulation. I don't I don't get the reason for that. Wha what's the reason for it if it's not a simulator? It's organic. It's just organic life. But okay, what is organic? It's made of the earth, born of the environment.

But isn't that like this entire computing process where single-celled organisms figured out how to become multi-celled organisms, figured out how to interact with their environment, figured out the ecosystem, figured out how to balance itself off with both predator and prey and food and water and resources. Right, but it's so very intricate and delicate. You have to bring into the question was it was it organic or organic under the guise of a bigger creator?

Well, maybe the bigger creator is the simulation itself. Damn it, Rogan, you know I'm not sure. I'm out. Take them rubber legs and get the fuck out of here. Maybe the the problem is calling it a simulation. Yeah, I don't like that. Maybe it's not that it's not real, yeah, but that there is an underlying programme that's run.

Maybe instead of thinking of as simulation'cause you think of it as simulation, you think of it as not real. Like my when I slap my arm it it hurts a little. Like that's real. Right. Right? If I knock my knee, that hurts. But it's not that it's not real, but that you're it's running a program. And this program what we talked about earlier.

When you're saying that people are moving towards something bigger and a new version of what we are, maybe that's a part of the program. Maybe the program is that all of these different components have to work together. This is why we'll never get rid of evil.

You need evil so that you appreciate good. You want rainy days so you appreciate the sunshine. You want like g good times and bad tim. You have to have a little bit of bad times so you appreciate the good times. You have to have some days where you feel like shit.

So that you appreciate good days. You have to have bad friends so you appreciate really good friends. Okay. All that stuff balances itself out and it's moving towards something. And what is it moving towards? The thing that we're involved in right now, AI. It's moving towards the creation of a new life form that's far more intelligent than we are. And it's probably a part of this whole process. Okay. Valid. I like what you just said. But I'm going to expand on it a little.

You're coming at it from a human perspective, where you're channeling it through, you know, a human mind, which is beautiful and endless and we can think beyond, you know, the scope of who knows where our imaginations end. Uhhuh. But that's because we're humans and we have the capacity. But to the schools of salmon spawning up the river and the the moose fighting with a grizzly bear right now and the

have to say simulation. I think it's a program. And I think all those other different creatures are a part of the ecosystem. Like you need the bears, you need the salmon, you need the deer, you need the vegetation, you need the animals that

that run through the the grasses and shit on them and make manure. Right. All that stuff feeds off and we exist in that thing and we're moving in this direction of technological innovation and m moving towards this new future that's happening right in front of our eyes.

But there's so many processes in what you just said. And it's like why why have them all? Why not just it's plop us down as humans? No. And we don't need trees and grass. We just live in kind of a vacuous, vapant airspace and we we still do our jobs but we don't why do we need all the why do we need mosquitoes and and slugs and

Fungus. Like I know why we need them biologically to make everything symbiotic, but if it's just a You just said it. If it's just a thing, if it's if it's not real, why do we need to be a good idea? We're running a program. It's clearly real. What is real? What real is to experience it as real consequences for your actions. You feel things, you touch things, you eat, you sleep, you need all you have resources. That's all it's all real. You're asking a guy with fake legs what's real?

You have a fake tattoo, too. Oh Billy. I mean, I'm not sure. No, I like this. Know if it's fake, but what I'm saying is it might be a program that runs, that makes people and those people eventually make AI. And that might be the whole purpose of the program. We might be in the middle of it.

We're in the middle of it. We were born at a time you and I were both born at a time where none of us existed. Yeah. We got to experience life without any of it. Remember when answering machines first came around? Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. You somebody could leave a message for it. And then the crazy one was answer machines that you could call your answering machine and get a message. Oh. From another phone. You press in your coat.

And it was like twelve numbers. Yeah. And you memorized them because you we got addicted to it. And then you could listen to your messages. And you could even press pound and star to slide. Yeah. Yeah. Remember those days? You have five messages. Like, oh somebody I remember I'd go do a gig and the second I'd get off a plane and a lot of your viewers won't know what this is, I'd run directly to the payphone in the airport and I'd boop P-p-p-p-p. Yeah.

Yeah, that was technology back then. We were living on the edge back then. And by the way, I'm not refuting or denying everything you're saying, but I'm pushing back a little because I can see it stimulating you to think deeper and I like hearing your commentary on it. I I like it that your your your if I push back a little it makes you dig deeper to make your point and I I like it. I like I'm like I like what I'm hearing coming from you.

Well I like what you're saying too is about simulation, like the idea that it's fake. I don't think it's fake. Yeah. I think it's a real thing. It's obviously a real thing if we're experiencing like what is real? Are your dreams real? Yes. Is sleep real? Yes. These are real things.

Whether or not you can put it on a scale doesn't mean it's not real. So th I don't think the simulation term is the best term. I think it's a program. I think we're running a biological program and we think of biological as being separate from like math.

and being separate from like subatomic particles and the fucking confusing quantum world. I don't think it's separate from it at all. I think it's all just one big super complex program that's running that if done properly and we're experiencing it right now, it leads to the creation of artificial light. Okay. And even artificial life's a bad term. With all that being said, where do you visualize the data center being? If it's a program

Is it off planet? Is it off galaxy? Is it invisible like doesn't there have to be a data center if we're a program? Or how does it just Yeah. itself. I think the universe itself is a program. I think it runs from the beginning of the Big Bang to the the formation of neutron stars and I had this lady on Michelle Feller. Uh how how do you say her last name? Sour? I barely know her. Amazing lady. Like worked for NASA cosmologist or she's an astronomer.

And uh we were talking about like neutron stars, like the insanity of neutron stars and how they bend space and time, they warp gravity around them. It's like these things all exist out there in the universe. They're all I think it's all a part of this program. And I think this program is running on other planets. I think there's other life forms that are doing very similar things.

Uh look, I l I like the debate. I like your take on it. But I s I s I just still struggle with the the the technicality of it all. I just... Let's say It's just random. All this stuff is random. Water rained down, bacteria turned into fucking Amoeba's. Slowly but surely. That makes less sense than uh a slow program that's running from literally the beginning of single celled organisms, literally the beginning of the formation of planets.

That this is like a natural cycle that happens everywhere in the universe. Yeah. And it's a reason why these These suns spin around and spit out plasma and that that stuff coalates in space. Yeah, yeah. Coalesces in space. Yeah. You know, um um Terrence Howard, the the actor, very excited.

Yeah, he was here. eccentric guy. Yeah. He had a a theory that I can't stop thinking about. What is it? He thinks that planets are formed Because the suns eject particles over time and that these stars eject we see those the big plasma ejections and the big He thinks that material eventually gets out into space, ev eventually forms planets. And he says when the planets get further from the sun, further enough from the sun, they people.

And he thinks that's what what happens to Earth. We we you get a certain distance and then life evolves, and then intelligent life evolves, and then eventually these planets people. And then when they get too far from the sun, they can no longer support intelligent life. They can no longer support life.

So then the people have to get intelligent enough by the time the planet's far enough away where they've figured out a way to bypass all the problems of living on a planet that doesn't have an environment and living on a planet that doesn't have water. They've bypassed. Yeah they've moved into the next realm of existence and now they can travel interstellar and do all that kind of crazy stuff. I wouldn't refute that theory. Theory.

I think it's a good theory. I mean it could explain how we're even here. Yeah, and it also could explain the weird shit on Mars.

Wait a minute. That Mars at one point in time might have had life. Yeah. No, the structures. Have you ever seen the structures on Mars? Oh, that face? No, have you seen the big square? No. Okay. Jamie I'll show you. There's this weird uh thing on Mars that by the way, it's in the same area of Cydonia where that face is. The face doesn't look like a face to me. It's the shadows that make it look like a face. It looked like a face in the early images, but this stuff is fucking weird.

That's weird. The Glendale Galleria? It is but it's five million years ago on Mars. So you're you're saying because geometrically it's a perfect square you think it's a That looks like man. That's nuts. Like when when do right angles like that that are in the same distance from each other ever exist in nature? And if they determine what those bumps are or those rock structures or

They don't know. They don't even know how big it is because it's somewhere it's between three hundred meters is like the the small estimate, but it might be as far as like a couple of miles. Yeah. They don't know how big it is. Look at that thing. What the fuck is that? Yeah. What the fuck is that? There's a bunch of these things on Mars that are just really weird. And if at one point in time um I'm talking millions of years ago hundreds of millions. Who knows? Yeah. How much would be left?

Yeah. How many um let's put this into uh perplexity, Jamie? How many ancient civilizations have Myths about Or Instead of do any how about this? Not not how many? Do any ancient civilizations have myths about Mars? Have myths about Mars. It's perfectly feasible, said Totally feasible. Yeah. Like if you think about it.

Several ancient civilizations have myths or religious associations tied to Mars, usually because they saw it as a bright reddish and sometimes ominous plane. Hey, don't mansplain to me, bro. Ancient Romans identified Mars with their god of war. Okay, do any um ancient civilizations have a myth about people coming from Mars? See if that is um do any have myths about humans coming from Mars? You could just do a follow up question at the bottom there.

Here we go. Dun dun dun. What do you think? Yes? Wow. Here it goes. No. Ancient civilizations did not have myths. about humans or people coming from Mars. Well Mars has been central to mythology across many cultures.

These myths focus on Mars as a deity or celestial object, not as humanity's origin point. What is that one um tribe? Is the the Dogon people? They have a um a weird origin story uh from another planet. Dogons. Yeah. Located. origin story. I don't know. I don't know. The Dokon. Wow. Um I think it's somewhere in Africa. Sounds like they sounds like they're broke whoever they are.

Mali, they have a complex creation myth centered around Amna, the supreme creator god who lived in the celestial regions as was the origin of all creation. In their cosmology, the stars resent Amma's bodily parts. With the constellation Orion called the seat of heaven or Alma's navel. And so I think they have this origin story from Whoa, what is this? Descended to earth in an arc suspended from heaven by a copper chain?

Whoa. Okay. Look at this. According to Dogon mythology, Amma created the earth and then split himself in two, creating Ogo representing disorder, and Nomo representing order. Ogh descended to earth along the Milky Way uh uh with which the Dogon believe connects heaven and earth

And created havoc. To restore balance, Amma created Nomo and gave him eight assistants consisting of four pairs of twins, these eight beings Also called the Nomo, became the ancestors of the Dogon people and descended to earth in an arc suspended from heaven by a copper chain. Okay, what was that story? I think we're accidentally reading a children's book, Joe. The OGO P what? The Dogon people. The Ogo and the Pogos.

I think there's a lot of people that have like weird origin stories that involve extraterrestrial life. Yeah. I mean There is. I I mean are you running that through human evolution? Yes. Because if you run it through human evolution, extraterrestrial life doesn't na uh necessarily match up with like Homo erectus and, you know, Neanderthal man and things like that. What way?

Well, i I I get the sense that extraterrestrial life is far more advanced and technological going back to what you were talking about at the bottom of the ocean, whereas our ancestors were primary. Right. So how do the two collide? I'm a bit confused.

Well what if they created us? They created us as primates and watched us evolve as an experiment. Yeah. What if you like let's imagine this. We talked about like if we w if we showed up and we went found a planet and it was filled with like ancient primates. Like ancient hairy men that had just figured out t stone tools. Okay. I'm with ya, I'm right there, guy. Do you think th let's not say Americans?

But do you think perhaps like Chinese or Russian scientists might do some things with them and try to make them more advanced? In terms of biological experimentation. Engineering, genetic engineering. I don't know. I will answer for you. You think they won't.

For sure. They're just cave people. They don't even have any civilization. We let's let's just do whatever we want to them because we're far more advanced. Do you know that there was a point in time where the Russians were experimenting with people and trying to make a human chimpanzee hybrid for war? Is that right? This is after World War II. So so many Russians died during World War Two. I mean, w Russia lost a lot of fucking Yeah they did.

And there was a program that that you like they do a lot of things where they they just run it up the chain. Like, what do you think? What if we do this? What if we do that? You know, what if we make a nuclear bomb? What if we make a a plane that doesn't have any radar signal? What if we make instead of our soldiers dying, what if we make a hybrid just for war?

We know chimpanzees are incredibly strong and they're smart and they're very violent. So what if we made an incredibly strong, very violent species that's more intelligent than chimpanzees and we can control them and we'll use them as our soldiers? But that seems like a lot of work for something that's hiding behind a uh a modern weapon. Because whether you have a a an insane chimpanzee behind a machine gun or a guy that was an accountant and got drafted.

It seems like the weapon's doing the work, not the biological entity. Yeah, but if the chimps stronger and faster and they can get to places where the accountant can't and they can charge into'em in the middle of the night'cause they could see at nighttime, there's a lot of things that you could do with chimps that were hybrids. Yeah. Like what did they how what was the extent of that program? Let's find out how He the guy that did it was also then arrested.

Well he was his name Doctor Moreau rang a bell? It says he was funded by Soviet authorities to set up experiments. Private, you know, or did official. I I would imagine if I was uh the leader of Russia at the time and this guy said uh Prime Minister, I have a program I am currently considering in operation where I will be able to make soldiers that are increasingly strong much much faster that retain human characteristics like the ability c to communicate and to engage in warfare with weaponry.

But they will be much faster, much stronger, and more importantly, not people. We won't mourn for them like our brothers and sisters. We will breed them in laboratories. We will make millions of them arm them. and send them out against our enemies. Are you coming on to me? A little bit. I got hard talking that

He successfully did a bunch of stuff in the early nineteen. Successfully. But not any human hybrids. He was a p pioneer in artificial insemination. He conducted experiments that involved artificially inseminating horses to create superior offspring for Imperial Russia, and this work earned him recognition from the Bolsheviks.

Ivanov was not satisfied with merely enhancing a species, though. Hybridization became his obsession, and he was soon crossing zebras with donkeys, cows with bison, and several different species of rodents. Huh with each other in nineteen ten he bla brashly declared he could see a human ape hybrid in the future. Isn't this gene splicing though? Have you ever heard of a Liger? Mm-hmm. But the Ligers are just hybrids.

It's just they breed with each other. A male tiger and a female lion or the opposite. I don't forget which one it was. Right. But w but the problem is the reason why ligars are so big, it's I think it's the m either the male tiger or the male lion, whichever one it is, the male. Has the gene um for that regulates size, and when they have the hybrid, that gene doesn't doesn't transfer. And so the ligers just keep growing. They're

Fucking gigantic. I might have fucked that up, but I don't think I did. Ivanov imported chimps to Russia inseminating unpaid Soviet women with their Unpaid. Though none conceived because humans and chimp chromosomes are incompatible. Interesting. Imagine you're a a fucking Soviet lady and you're like, What is this job? You lie down with your legs open and we stick something inside of you and you get a loaf of bread. Red.

How much did they know about genes back then? Genes and chromosomes. So what year was this? Did they when did they discover chromosomes? Yesterday we just w they might not have even known helium was on earth. Right, that's right. Yeah, they thought Helium was only in the sun. Um Wow. When did they discover chromosomes? Let's find that out. I'm gonna say I'm gonna say in the f Forty. I'm gonna go a little later. I'm gonna say fifties. Okay. Almost at 57. I'm gonna say forty two.

I am p purely guessing that. Me too. What you mean? Well let's just um just put that in particular. Well I did but like. What is given? In the eighteen hundreds they sorta knew about it, but to what detail isn't till then? nineteen. Okay. Chromosomes were first observed as distinct structures in the cell nuclei in the eighteen hundreds. Well that's pretty distinct. They're talking about in the cell structure. So they must have been looking at them with microscopes.

Um once good light microscopes became available, so that's the eighteen hundreds, their role as carriers of hereditary information was not clarified until the early nineteen hundreds through work linking chromosomes to Mendel's law of inheritance.

It's a hundred years of guessing which imagine what we're guessing about now that we don't know about. So it could mean any Completed and then sort of closed. Right. Wrong again for twenty and then someone's like, Oh no, that's what it is. Yeah. Wild, right? It's wild how long it took.

Well see this This goes back to AI, Joe, giving access to the average person to be able to dig into this stuff because it might be the guy in aisle twelve at Home Depot who discovers some of these probing answers, you know? That's where I love my own. I'd be like... You know, hitting a bong, sitting at home, talking to Chat GPT and go, Bro, tell me how to make a human monkey hybrid. Exactly. So this guy um so it was four nine pull that back up.

I was reading about him, this started to say the American backers started sending Of course. They get those road fucking crazy chimp people too. Call me crazy, but I get the feeling you would like to see one of those. 100%. Because physically it would have to look incredible. That would be insane. Imagine if you get a like a Viking, like a Brock Lesnar jean and you splice it with a chimpanzee jean. Yeah.

You have a giant like Thor from Game of Thrones, the mountain from Game of Thrones. Imagine that guy splicing that guy's jeans with the chimpanzees. Well you keep going to chimp, but what about a silver back gorilla, which is even Yeah, they're they're very calm actually. Vegetables. Whereas chimps are pack hunters, they eat other monkeys. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're way more violent. They're they're way more like us. We're m way closer to chimps than we are to gorillas.

Yeah. We're we're cha we're closer in our behavior. Like they ha they engage in war. Yeah. They have tribal war. They go after tribes, they break off and find they're starting new civilization. But if you're splicing two entities together, you've got the human brain that's, you know, we're sort of wired to be violent. But you just take the physicality of the silver back and marry them together. They're just as wired to be violent as we are. What? Chimps?

No, I'm saying the silverback. You then you have a bigger physical body with our mind. But maybe they'll just chill like the They just go to Miami. New delivery of chimps to a nursery in nineteen thirty, but in the light of the questionable ethics and zero progress, Ivanov was arrested and exiled to Kazakhstan, where he died two years later. Some of the apes and monkeys that outlived him were launched into space. With the spot. Ha ha ha.

You imagine you're an ape. First they make you fuck some lady and then they shoot you off in a space. Well, you were just eating bananas, having a good time in the jungle, being a regular chimpanzee, and these motherfuckers Fuck some janitor and then shoot you into space. A janitor. Successful implanted an ovary in a few of them. Oh god fucking psycho. Jesus Christ. Yeah, they've done over the course of history the Germans, the Japanese, the Chinese in times of war

They did the most horrific experimentation. They they did everything you could do. They they'd see how long it would take for a human body to die if you boiled it and skin people and it the the things that have been done, the aberrations that have happened are crazy. But this is this is interest. This is almost the basis for a movie, I think. Well, it could absolutely happen today. This is where it gets weird. Because now with CRISPR and with gene editing.

How many years are we away from them being ap actually able to do that? Actually able to take Whatever genes you have in a a person, whatever genes you have in a chimpanzee, pick which ones, which things you wanna do and make a life form. I like it. We know they have the dire wolves now. Yeah, the dire wolves. I saw them. I went to visit them. You did are they pure are they a hundred percent pure or they are are they a version of a modern day wolf mixed with a diarrhea?

It's a really good question. So that is the question that people uh always use to dismiss or that is the statement that people use to dismiss what they've done as actually creating dire wolves. But when I talk to the woman who's the head geneticist, the way she said is Like what we call something a direwolf, or we call something a pug, or we call whatever these th distinctions are. These are our creations. And that the genetic

Like this animal looks like a dire wolf'cause it is a a dire wolf. Okay. And some of those genes are in wolves. Some of those genes are in the biological tissue that they got from like thousand year old like how old was the tissue that they got from a dire wall? that they used for colossal. I feel like some of it was like ten thousand years old, like something crazy. Where did they find that tissue? What country?

They find in America. You get it in um like d when they find fossil or they find like a dead animal, they find something that they can get out of it where they can get some DNA. Yeah. And they've managed to get the actual DNA of a diet. So thirteen thousand years old, a tooth from Sheridan Pitt, Ohio, and a seventy two thousand year old skull from American Falls, Idaho.

So wow. So they get the genes, they make a map I'm just I'm butchering this. I'm sorry if you're a scientist. I'm sorry to all the people at Colossal. Yeah. You make a map of what it means to be a direwolf based on this stuff because you have these samples. And then you choose those genes.

You add those genes to a a gray wolf and then you turn it into a fucking dire wolf. And they're all white and they have a mane like a lion, which they didn't know they were gonna have. Like not as big as a lion, but it's it's a pronounced mane. Huh. And they look different, man. They're weird. Are they bigger in size? They're bigger. Yes.

Wow. Yeah, they're like a two hundred pound wolf. And they're built different. They're built different. Like they're they're more stocky and they look different. What's their jaw structure like Bigger, bigger, stronger. They're there it's a d bigger, more ferocious animal that lived at a time where it was What does the term dire mean? Do we know? Dyer wolf. That's a good question. Let's find out why they're calling direwolves. Yeah. I have no idea. It just sounds dope.

I wonder if they ever get sick if they become diarrhea wolves. Is that where you're going with that? No, I really do wanna know. That just came to me. That just came to me. But I do wanna know where dire comes from, what it means.

Fearful or terrible. The Latin words diris meaning feel f fearful or terrible or awe inspiringly dreadful. Bro, back then when those things were around and people were around at the same time, you imagine how fucking rough it would be you're in the woods. And you're camping out with your buddy and you see a pack of dire wolves that recognize you and you know it's over. Well the thing with wolves though, Joe, and you probably know this, wolves traditionally don't hunt down humans. Huh?

I don't know is there any record of a human being uh uh killed by a wolf? One hundred percent. There's record in modern times. Oh, that's not true. They that's the reason why they eradicated him from the West Coast. I thought that was because they were they were nabbing the cattle.

No, they were killing people too. That's what the big bad wolf and the little red riding hood is all about. They would kill your kids. That's those stories were about avoiding wolves because wolves were d dangerous. They're dead. Do you know that World War One the Russians and the Germans had a ceasefire because so many of them were getting killed by wolves in Siberia? Really? That they decided to have a ceasefire, kill the wolves, and then go back to killing each other

Aaron Ross Powell, Jr. Because my experience is wolves are very trepidatious of humans. They fear them and avoid them. But that wouldn't change their hunting instinct now if there were still packs roaming wild and free. If you don't kill the instinct out of them. Because then you'd kill their instinct to kill an alcove. If you've seen wolves, you've seen wolves in Canada. Yeah. Yeah. That's why they're trepidatious. Can we look up how many humans have been killed by wolves? Very rare.

Yeah, see it's not common. It's because we killed them all, Harlan. They're not around anymore. That's the whole point. The reason why they got killed off was because they were a fucking problem. It's not because, you know, people were evil and it was a terrible idea. It's because they wanted to live. And they knew that the wolves were fucking killing everybody. I think they were killing their domestic cattle. 100%. But not the people Really? Yeah, they kill they don't have rules, man.

No, but they're they're also think of it, every living species, why is it I can go to a park? And a blue jay and a squirrel and a deer and a bunny can be just fine, completely different species. But then a little boy walks up a human and they all just go There's this driven instinct in all animals to fear us, which breaks my heart'cause most of us are loving and want to coddle and connect with animals, but even insects, dragonflies, hummingbirds, nothing wants to be near us.

And so wolves also all animals are trepidatious of humans. It's sad, but it's true, and if that's part of the bigger program we've been talking about, what does it say about us? First of all, animals are not trepidatious of humans. Have you ever walked up to a wild animal? I've walked up to a lot of wild. Right. I'm not being silly.

Okay, so realistically all those animals you said, blue jay, deer, those are all animals that eat plants. Okay. If a dog showed up, they would run. Any animal that's a pro that's a predator is gonna scare them. Whether it's a human, w we have eyes in front of our face. The reason why you have eyes in front of your face like that is because you're looking to go after something. When you have eyes on the side of your face, you're looking for something to go after you.

So all those animals like deer and all these little cute little animals, they're all prey. Right. And they're all like super sketchy with anything that has eyes in front of its face it's looking at them. Because we are a fucking predator. But it would be the same if it was a coyote there, it would be the same if a dog was there, i if a cat or a big cat or a lion was there if they saw it, they would all freak out because they're prey. Now, wolves...

Have killed people. Fact. One hundred percent all throughout time. I'm just saying. Hatch you alone. Catch you in the woods, and if it's you and five of them, they will kill you. We're not on their dietary list, though. Look at killer whales. Because you're not in that area. Only at Seaworld. Right. Because they well that's different. ご視聴ありがとうございました No. Intrepidatious of us. No, they're super intelligent. Wolves and coyotes. They're not trepidation of it. They help us. They communicate with you.

I know, but I'm just saying it's not common for wolves and apex predators to go after humans. It happens, but it's not common and wolves, they're very skittish animals. Okay, they're skittish if they're around people and they think the people might have a gun. If you're in the woods, wolves are not skittish of you. They're thinking about what they're gonna do to you and whether or not they're gonna eat you.

If you have a rifle and you're in the woods and they hear the boom go off, they're gonna get the fuck away from you because you There's an Extin an instinctual fear of humans for whatever reason. It's not true. Most critters avoid us. Avoid all pre predators. All of them. Yeah, but look at the plains of Africa. You'll see a wildebeest and a zebra and a gazelle spring bar. You walked out in the the wild of Africa. You're done. Yeah. Yeah.

Your prey there. Right. All those animals are freaking out too until one gets taken out. Right. This is the Joseph Campbell story of the hero. Like one gets taken out and the other one's going, Wow, he did it for us because th when the the lions are eating that one antelope, they're gonna leave you alone. You could relax for a little bit. Yeah. That's what it is. I'm just saying They never calm around lions. They run. That's why they run. Right.

are probably more inclined to step around us than attack us. They are more inclined to do whatever they need to do to survive. They will. They're opportunists. And if it's attacking your sheep then they'll attack your sheep. Right. If it's killing your dog, they'll kill your dog. If it's killing you, if you're twenty miles into the backcountry and you're camping alone and you don't have a weapon And a pack of wolves shows up and they haven't had anything to eat for a few days.

Yeah. They'll take you down. I'm just saying I'm d I' I'm just trying to instill into you with all this programming talk there's something programmed into all the other species on this planet they go Whoa there's a fucking human. And they step around us a lot. Oh you're wrong. It's anything that's coming near them they get away from. Right. The reason why they're scared of people is'cause they have experience.

That's okay. Yes, wolves do. Well wolves in Canada that get shot at are afraid of people. They know that people have the guns, the guns make the boom, they're smart. They a bunch of them die. They see one of them die. They learn that. They see the gun. They see the stick. They run away from the guy. So they stay away from people'cause people might kill their family members, their PAC members. It happens. I think we're spending.

No. Listen, there's a difference between the way bears react in say Alaska than bears react in Montana. So in Montana you can't hunt grizzly bears. So grizzly bears are not afraid of people because generation after generation after generation have not been hunted. Right. When when bears see you in Alaska, that's generation after generation that have been hunted. And they react very differently. They're like, get the fuck away from the people. Right.

Unless they don't know you have a gun and sometimes you have to scare them off, but if they're used to being around people with guns, they r associate people with danger. Yeah, that's kind of Pavlovian. Right, but when they're not when they're not, like in Montana. But in Raw Wild. Bears are quite skidded. I've been around a I have too man. They're not skidding. They'll fuck you up.

protective. They're they're no longer hunting, but I'm just saying that there's an element to sadly our human existence that scares a lot of critters. A lot most animals can exist. together in the same area. And yeah, when a when an apex predator approaches, the zebras will run, but if you look at the hoofed animals and the hippos and the everything kind of coexists, but when a human walks in You know, we can't walk up to critters and just pat'em. You can in the Galapagos.

Are we No. Are we having a fight? No, but a lion can't walk up to a girl and pet him. It's not uniquely human. It's all animals are worried about something that wants to eat them because that's a real part of their existence. It's all animals. If you let your dog lose, and you're led it around wild animals. They fucking run like crazy, man. They run way more than they do with a person. Let me rephrase it. If a wild animal comes up on a deer, a predator prey scenario. Uh huh.

A predator goes into stalking mode, the deer's gone. Right. But if a human Me or you go, Oh look at the deer and we try to walk towards it with nothing but love and affection and we just want to pet it and it's gone. And that's what I'm saying. You're not saying shit. Because a dog the same thing would happen. You're not making any sense. Yes. Of course the p deer doesn't want you to pet him. It doesn't fucking know you, man. What are you nuts? Right, but it j they just they just flee.

They don't flee like. Everything pleases I have s I have deer in my neighborhood and when they see me they don't give a fuck. They don't care about your car. You're you're driving in a car. You could stop the car and roll the window down and go, Hello Mr. Deer and they just fucking stare at you. All animals are like that.

They saw a dog, they would fucking run. Yeah. They'd run like crazy. Even my golden retriever, my sweet golden retriever Marshall. Yeah. They run like crazy from him. They blow, they make those crazy noises. Yeah. They're not scared of predators, dude. They're not scared of people in my neighborhood because no one's eating them in my neighborhood. It's their conditioning. I don't know. I'm just talking of the thing. Yeah. The people are uniquely bad. I wish we could just go hug the pork.

No I'm not saying people are bad. I'm saying that animals have something in their brain that they don't trust us. 'Cause we're the Apex. Yeah. We're the top of the food chain. But it's it's it's just sad that It's not. It's way better than being at the bottom of the food chain. Way better than us like fucking wandering through the woods if your kids are gonna get eaten by a fucking wolf because some greeny dipshit decided to port'em back into the wild. We need to rewild up.

And you know they just dropped him off an aspen, these dumb motherfuckers. They dropped him off on a cattle ranch and all they're doing is eating cattle. So now they have to have cowboys twenty four seven riding horses because the governor's husband thought it would be a cute idea to drop off wolves in Colorado. And they reintroduced him to an area that has agriculture. They reintroduced him to ranching areas. Wow. Five fucking wolves. They've killed who knows how many cows. You don't like

The government has to reimburse them every time a cow dies. They keep killing cows. They're not allowed to kill the wolves. The wolves are around them twenty four hours a day, just circling. Cowboys on horses all throughout the night. They've got fires. They have to keep people employed. But outside of the cattle poaching critter. Are you for reintroducing and repopulating areas of the First of all, wolves were making their way into Colorado.

Yeah. They're already in the San Juan Mountains. They're they're moving in from Wyoming, where they live naturally. And when they reintroduced them into Montana, those have spread out all over the place. There's plenty of fucking wolves, man. But I think. There's a lot of things. How's too? You don't like wool.

I don't think you want wolves. I don't think you understand what you're saying. You you you're talking about a pack predator. It's very different than any other predator. They work together in coordination and they're smart. And if once they f it's not like a mountain line. It's not like a thing that acts alone. Once they figure out that the cows are in these wooden pens and they could just hop the pen, kill a cow, and that's it, they're gonna do it forever. Right.

Right. But take out the poaching wolves, but the ones that are reintroduced and assimilate in raw nature. I think those are crucial and important to that ecosystem. It is crucial to have balance. And there's there's some aspects of having the wolves back in Montana that's actually better for the elk population. It is'cause the elk population was very overpopulated at one point in time. They had um seasons where they were allowing people to shoot them in the snow.

Um, in the winter. So like there was so many of'em. When they're in the snow, like deep snow, they can't run. So you basically Yeah. Elk because before they reintroduced the wolves they had so many elk. Yeah. These elk were running out of resources. Yeah. And they they realized like they're so overpopulated. We're gonna allow you to shoot them in ways that's not even remotely sporting. Yeah. They're stuck in snow. Called culling. Yeah.

Just taking as many out of the population as you can. And look, for the people that live there, it's amazing. You're eating elk twelve months out of the year, you got a freezer. It's fucking delicious. How dare you? No, I mean if you eat it all the time. But don't forget the wolves also preserved the whole ecosystem because the overpopulation of elks were eating so much of the flora that the sides of riverbanks were eroding.

You're you're quoting a v a documentary called uh how uh wolves change rivers. Right. Yeah, widely disputed. So a lot of the stuff they're saying is not accurate in that documentary. But a lot of things are very overstated in that and it turned out to Not be true. No, a lot of the claims are not true. Interesting.

there y you can have a pro and the pro is it keeps the population in check and it puts a natural balance to to the area. That's the pro. Yeah. This whole changing rivers thing, like mm Some of it's accurate. Yeah, but there's s it's the apparently that documentary was made by a guy who's into rewilding. And he also wants to rewild Europe. So like these v it's very romantic this idea. Okay. There is positive to having a balanced equity. There is not positive when wolves get overpopulated.

When wolves get overpopulated, that's what you get when you had Russia and Germany having a fucking ceasefire in World War One. Because they were losing so many soldiers to wolves, they all united together to kill the wolves. That's a true story.

But do you ever live in a world where you go The wolves are part of the natural world the same way the bison were on the Great Plains before they eradicated them. No. Okay. Imagine if you had kids and you were walking with your kids and you saw three wolves following you. Yeah. And you didn't have a gun. How would you feel about those wolves? When you thought, Oh my God, we might get taken out by wolves and I just thought they were these cute fuzzy things that were a part of nature.

I don't think of them as... Wilderness. I don't think of them as that. Amazing. We need that. I've worked in nature. I've been around wolves. I know them. am on team people. You are not sure.

One hundred percent. One hundred percent. Teen people. I love all animals. I love them all. Yeah. But I love people way more. If it was between a person that I've fucking hate that it feels a real piece of shit and I knew that they're gonna get taken out by a wolf but I had a rifle, I'd kill the fucking wolf one hundred percent of the time.'Cause I'm on team people.

idea like the animals are scared of us. Good. Be scared, bitch. It doesn't mean you should do anything bad to those animals, but good. Good. Be scared. But Joe. Don't try to eat my kid. Isn't it team people that's eradicating all the animals as we encroach deeper and deeper into the Amazon jungle, the African plains? We're losing look at the American bison. There used to be millions of them herding across the prairies and now there's isolated pockets. Right, but

Okay. Look at look at the silver back gorilla. Look at there's so many things that are losing to team people that we might not have Siberian Tigers in thirty I'm not saying you should go and kill these endangered animals. animals.

We're not always. That's not true. First of all, the bison thing was not because of encroaching. The bison thing was because of sport hunting where these people were like Oh yeah. They were doing it not even sport hunting, market hunting. They were doing it for tongues. No, that's what they were getting? They were chopping out their tongues. All that delicious bison meat, they let it rot. Oh yeah. And then they were doing it for furs. And then they were doing it for bones.

Like what this is is like people were fucking insane and rifles were fairly new and long range rifles are fairly new in human history. Right. And then all of a sudden you got people on trains and you've got these Pops. Now here's where Um what's Dan's Dan Flores? There's a guy named Dan Flores who wrote a book on bison, and he has a theory. It's a really good one. Yeah. was because of all the Native Americans that got wiped out by disease.

And it totally coincides with it. Because the original explorers that came to America in like the fourteen hundreds, they did not describe these enormous population of bison. Right. Well, you would see millions of them on a prairie. He thinks that that came about because literally when the Europeans visited Native America, the Native Americans, ninety percent of the Native Americans died because of disease. Right.

Ninety percent? I mean a true apocalypse. Imagine nine out of ten Native Americans Yeah. Yeah. Because of disease. Well that means no one's hunting the bike. So that was their pri that was a primary food source.

for a lot of the Native Americans. And it wouldn't take many generations for them if that was the thing that was keeping them in population, if they have a balanced ecosystem and the population c was literally being controlled by these effective North American hunters. Yeah. And all of a sudden they're gone.

The population just booms. And that's what he was saying. And then along comes the people with the rifles. And then the rebuild with the rifles, they're finding these sitting ducks just sitting out there. And they say there's so many of them. We could just shoot as many as we want. We never have to worry about it. And they're shooting him for tongues. Yeah. Tongue! Have you ever heard of Buffalo Head Smash Dan? Buffalo Head smashed in? Yeah. It's a town in Alberta.

That's the real name of the top. It's the real name of the town where the on the plains there there was an optical illusion where it looked like the f the hills just kept going. but there was a cliff and the Indians would chase the bison Along the plains and they didn't know it and at the end they'd they'd all run over the thing and the Indians would be waiting at the bottom and kill the bison, but they named the place Buffalo head smashed in. Oh wow. Look at this. Isn't that wild?

Wow. So the bison thought they're running on a flat plane and they couldn't see the change in the perspective, so they'd run right over the edge. They did that a bunch of places in North America. In North America. They did um there's one of them. Where they killed so many bison that the rotting of them caused them to burst into flames. Yeah. Yeah, that's like with whales when they blow up. Yeah. They explode.

Oh, yeah Yeah. The r imagine the fucking smell of something where it gets so bad they burst into flames. Bro, what the f Winston Bar Texas barbecue. So they the Native Americans when they were really good at hunting, doing stuff like that, I mean they're feasting, they're eating the best meat and they're keeping the population in check. Now when they all died of disease

That population stopped being in check. And this is Dan Flores. I think it's called see if you could find the name of it, Jamie. I think it's called Bison Diplomacy, Bison Ecology, I think that's what it's called. Nature also provides disease when there is no humans around. Okay? Like long before the Indians started hunting buffalo, there were buffalo. Yeah, bison ecology and bison diplomacy. It's a very interesting paper. He was a professor of history at Texas Tech.

Um very, very good book. And and he's got another great book on coyotes, Coyote America. Oh coyotes. Are you a fan of Team Human? If Team Human keeps pushing animals out of business? Well, yeah. No, I think we should have a good idea. We're at what seven billion now humans? Mm-hmm. So at what point are you still a fan of team human when more and more of team animal is being eradicated? And I'm not trying to say we should What animals are being eradicated?

Well I just explained how the the herds of elephants have shrunk down to this. Tigers are down to a few thousand. And a lot of that. Okay. But it's also encroaching. Some of it. It's like what do you want those people to do? Like people in India, like where they have in elephants just invade their farms and eat all their food? But that's what I'm saying. How long are you a proponent of Team Human? But yeah.

I'm on team people. If it's your family that needs that farm to stay alive and all of a sudden a fucking pack of elephants comes in and eats all the food that you've been working for a year to plant and grow, what do you think? We should just feed the elephants? Just want to know where you stand. I'd rather see the animals succeed than us, if I'm being honest. I love people. But that is a ridiculous. We're the one. That's a ridiculous thing to say. Doesn't mean the animals are gonna go extinct.

Don't use a. That's terrible. The site on the back of Eden. Don't you think humans are a parasite on the back of this beautiful paradise? No. No animal dumps nuclear waste or chemicals into rivers. No animal tears down forests except for beavers. So what makes Team Human so great? Well we definitely shouldn't. You need to change your attitude, Joe. I shouldn't do those things but I am but I am a human and I like humans. I like

And the only way that you're gonna have humans is if you stay on team human and not say I'd rather have the animals here. They're just gonna eat you. They're gonna eat you and there'll be no more houses. More press a button and get rid of humans. With a press of a button and that everything else could just live here harmoniously, would you do it? What do you live in a fucking Disney movie? Just ask him. No, no chance. I live in a simulation of a Disney movie. He's taking another drink of cup.

Son of a bitch. I'll fly over this table with my rotten leg. You're fucking team candidate.

I know what I'm saying. That's what you're doing. He's like a plant. He's a plant. I'm asking. Ruin America by bringing in lions and Humans are a parasite on the planet. I think we are a very complicated intelligent life force that values itself above all else to the detriment of the ecology of the earth itself. So therefore We could do better. We don't all do that. We're not a cancer, dude. We're a part of the earth. We are the predominant intelligent life force on this earth.

Who predominantly destroys the earth? Cancer. We're not destroying it though. A bad job. That's a fancy way of saying destroying. Well most animals ship all over the ground. the button. You're funny. Come on, you wanna do it together? You should have kids. I love kids. I love humans. I just wish we could do better. How old are you now? Take a guess. Take a guess. You saw my legs. Take a guess. I'll tell you. No, I'll tell you. known you for thirty years. Yeah. So you're at least that How old?

Yeah.

Sixty I'll be sixty four this year. Really? Yep. Wow. But I love humans but I also If you had a kid now, it might be a problem. You might have bad jizz. Really? You might have old Jiz. Have you seen my life? What do you mean bad Jiz? You don't Al Pacino just had a kid and he's four hundred. ད ད ད ད ད ད ད ད ད ད Really? Is he a dementoid? Maybe her strong jeans'cause she's only twelve, the girly ha no. Yeah. Shut up. No. She's thirty. Whatever she is, thirty years old. Oh wow. Yeah.

We look pretty good with your chest and my legs. We're doing all right. Right? Do you did you ever want to have kids at one point? I you know, I I thought that uh at one point I would. I thought that at one point I might, but it just didn't work out that I was I was married at one point and Is it it's like it's hard when you're doing the road a lot. It's hard. It is if you make it hard, but I never did the road a lot. I always mixed it so that I that I enjoyed my life and traveled and did stuff.

So that's my Yeah. That's smart. But it it just it it didn't work out and who knows the the road ain't closed yet, so who knows. Just checked. Make sure it's good. Oh it's fine. Oh my god, I just told you I was on OnlyFans for two hours. Analyze the jizz. Make sure it's good stuff. Wait, can sperm actually go bad? Well, um when it comes to autism, there's uh and and maybe even Down syndrome, there's some

There's some people that believe that the older the parents are and they used to think that it was just the older the woman was that might contribute to those things. Another thing it i is also likely the father. They're also realizing like a lot of um there were th there was this thing that I was reading about miscarriages from parents where the father drinks like wow that's interesting because I never really thought that the father being a drunk would affect the sperm, but of course it would.

Of course it would. Yeah. And weed too, they used to say weed affected the sperm, but I don't know if that Well the is to say it slows it down or something like that. I don't know. What does that all do?

I don't know. Oh, Zempic, you give birth to a zombie? You give birth to a fucking jazzed up out there all kid. Uh And I wanna fucking clean this house. Wait, do you have any boys or is it all girls? Oh wow. Do you wish you would have a boy? I just want them to be healthy. I think wishing that you had a boy or a girl, it's like the universe will give you what it gives you. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. You don't want to like You don't want to wish you.

No, I don't I don't mean eliminate the girls. God bless the three girls, but if if you had one more would it be cool to have a boy? I'm very happy. Oh good. I don't think about that. You're a good dad. I've that's something I picked up on you today. I think uh everybody should try. Yeah. Dad, you got one shot at this. One of the things that's really nice for me is that I don't have to travel as much because I have the club here. Yeah. You know.

When they were young, I had to travel a lot when they were really young.'Cause it's like I wasn't making as much money. Yeah. It was like a little bit more difficult. And having uh the club where I don't have to do stand up somewhere else. I don't have to go on the road all the time. So I'm only going on the road occasionally for like the UFC and Yeah, and you don't need to either. You done good, guy.

It's nice to see Kill Turney like make a completely different career arc for all these people. And you're one of them. That's it. Fucking taking you to the stratosphere. It's wild to watch. It's it's sh it's shone a new light on my career. Yeah. It sort of revitalized it a bit. Yeah. You, uh Rob Schneider, yeah, Caratop. I mean there's you can the list goes on and on. There's uh Kyle Dunnegan, there's so many people that it just fucking launched That's so cool. When Tony asked me to do it.

Uh two years ago. I'll be honest, I didn't even know what it was. That's hilarious. I didn't know who Tony was. I'd never met him. I knew nothing about it. I was doing your club. And they said, Hey, we're shooting tomorrow. Do you want to stay an extra day? And I said, For what? They go, Kill Tony. I said, What is it? And I went off I had no clue. I had no idea what it was. No, I didn't I didn't know anything about that stuff. How do you stay offline?

Well, I go online now'cause I started a podcast and trying to emulate you, but you've been an inspiration. Thank you, by the way. But I didn't know about all that stuff. And so they asked me to go on. And I did my first set with Tony and I think you watched it. It was the one where I had the checkbook. And then Tony will

When they finished the show he goes, Oh, you're gonna be guest of the year I go, What are you talking about? And then I was guest of the year and then it just sorta all this stuff.

And now I'm about to shoot a movie with Tony as my star. I'm gonna direct a movie with Tony. Madison Square Garden where you were pulling the things out of your pants? Yeah, the lime. Lyme disease and I pulled the limes out. Yeah. What if you pull a trophy out of your parents? Yeah, an Oscar. That's when I won Guest of the Year. I love to pull stuff out of my pants apparently. What is the movie you and Tony are doing?

So uh my next movie that I'm writing and directing is called Rednecks and we're gonna uh shoot in September, October with Tony as the star. And I don't know if you do any acting anymore, but I wanna offer you a part. I don't know if you're interested. Yeah, you don't like it. Продолжение следует... We got no interest anymore? What if I could kill it for a day, just run in and do it in a day? Really? Yeah. Something easy. Be fun to have you. Where are you gonna film it?

We're gonna shoot in uh Florida and Kentucky. Jesus. What if I got you for three days? Would you do Yeah. Let's talk afterwards. Okay. I really don't like it. I know. I don't have any time either. That's also part of the problem.

I get it. Very carefully. Yeah. Do you still have the passion to act at all or no? Is it c yeah? I never really had in the beginning. Yeah. did it for money. Yeah. Like uh I loved stand up and I loved, you know, going to clubs and doing and then I got a development deal. It was that simple.

And then all of a sudden I'm on TV, I'm like, all right. Yeah. But it was good that I never had a dream for it because then it I didn't have a lot of anxiety about it. Yeah. You know, it was more like it was fun to do yeah me too Because I was always like I'm just gonna go do stand up. Yeah, it was the same way.

Yeah, it's better that way. Because the people that like where it's their, oh my god, it's happening. It's like so overwhelming for them. Like I see people have anxiety when they're about to do their scenes, and I was like, Jesus. Yeah. Chill out. Well, we're y we're so used to performing in front of audiences. Yeah. That for some people the the moment like for young actors, the moment when it's like action and you walk in and then you see that crowd, it it's overwhelming for some people.

Ja, es ist. It's very hard for them to find that comfort level that allows them to perform at the level that they know they can. Yeah. Like they they might be really good actors, but the feeling is so overwhelming that they can't find the rhythm.

You know what the opposite of that was for me, and I don't know if you had this experience. We were used to performing in front of live audiences doing stand up where they're like reacting immediately. We do a joke, they laugh. But now when you're doing a movie or TV, suddenly you're in front of an audience who are cameramen and directors and make and they just stand there. They don't laugh. Right. And that became like the opposite of what we do.

So when I first started doing TV and movies, I'd get anxiety because it's like, well, they're not laughing. They're not reacting. They're just standing there. It was all these technical people. And that freaked me out a little bit. But I had to overcome that. Yeah, that is weird if you think it's really funny and then you're saying it and no one's laughing. all just stay'cause they're just d making a movie.

Right, because it's not like the cameras are there by themselves. Right. There's people behind the cameras. And you're doing it for crew, like fifty people would be standing there while you're doing a scene. With a cigarette in their hand, drinking coffee, shaking their hand. Checking notes and d did that throw you when you first started? Well news radio luckily was in front of an audience. True. between the audience and and you was all those people I was and camera.

Yeah, but the people laughed at all the jokes. Okay. If they were good, you know, if they were good jokes. But so that w that was to me was like a different way of delivering jokes. Yeah you know, it was it was still it was fun. Yeah it was uh I enjoyed it. I enjoyed uh sitcom, but the only way to do it right is to have really good writers. And that's hard to find, man. Like news radio had that and really good performers.

But if you're on a bad one, y you're in hell. You're in hell and you're just collecting checks. Yeah. And you just Good checks though. Check that's the problem. Yeah. That's the problem. The velvet prison. Yeah. Those are the guys that wind up doing drugs. The guys that are on a show that they hate. Yeah. They they're they yeah, you go straight two and a half men. Charlie Sheen in it. Oh yeah. It's part of it. And part of it is just like you're in that lifestyle anyway. Yeah.

But part of it is also like I don't wanna do this. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, I experienced I don't wanna do a sit calm. I'm bored. I'm bored with these lame punch lines. And next thing you know, you're smoking crack. Running from the cops. You know what I realize too is with these sitcoms it They all keep borrowing the same premise. Like I did three different sitcoms and it's like, oh, now we're doing the episode where uh the lead guy's somehow dating an SM queen.

And now we're doing the episode where uh Jim gets his car stolen. Like you start to realize like there's about forty different episodes, but they all just Insert them and sort of change them a little. And it's it's really very weird. It's like a recipe. So many premises. Right. Yeah. It's well that's just the uncreative ones. I mean that's why Kirby's enthusiasm was so amazing. Yeah. They didn't repeat any premises. That show was fucking incredibly creative and and bizarre. And no audience.

That's right. But the ones the ones that that were fresh were the ones that didn't it was more like the traditional sitcoms that just plugged in the premises and it was like it's like, Oh my god, I've already done this. There's but there's uh something to that form where it's done when it's done really well, it is very enjoyable. It's very comfortable.

Like I I always thought like I saw clips of the Big Bang. I never watched the Big Bang. Yeah. Until I started watching it with my kids. And I'm like, this is a fucking very funny show. It's like a really good show with like very defined characters. It's really well made. And I had this uh Prejudice of it. I think'cause I had seen some clips where they were doing like retakes and there's no audience, so they're saying the jokes with no laughs behind them. It just seems kinda lame. But everything

Yeah. Like retakes of news radio seemed blame too while we were doing them. Yeah. But when I watched the show, I was like, there's something comforting about this kind of a show, and I wish they still did them. They don't do them anymore. Miss Pat is the only one that I know of that has uh an actual sitcom right now. Like a three camp. Mm-hmm. She's got a live audience, sitcom.

I don't think anybody else does, or if they do, I don't know about it. They used to be fucking common as shit, man. Yeah that was that was the goal. That was the dream to go get a sitcom. Yeah. I think they've been knocked out of contention because they're so um set up, whereas we live in this world now where people just scroll real life.

But why? Because uh dramas are still on T V. There's still a million N C S I, whatever the fuck those th shows are. You know what I mean? There's a million of those shows. On order, special victims unit. There's a million of those shows. So those kinds of same premise shows of cops and lawyers and all that shit, those still exist. The medical examiner shows, uh, forensic examiner show, those shows exist. So how come all these

You know, there's a resurgence of rancher shows. Now everyone's a rancher. Right. This is fifteen rancher shows now. So those shows exist, but no sitcoms. As the incredible hunk Hulk once said, me not know why. I think it's a giant mistake.'Cause I think you could make a sitcom right now, whether Paramount Plus does it or one of those organizations that streams, you could make a great fucking multicam sitcom right now.

Yeah, I I I don't even turn on the TV anymore though. I think people are being weaned right off of television. We're in a transitional phase. I think that's part of the. Dude, I rarely ever I when I used to go on the road, I would check into a hotel and turn on the T V right away. I don't think I've turned on a hotel TV in about six years.

Really. I don't even turn it on. When I go home, I watch my TV maybe once a month, if that. I don't even look at it anymore. So do you look at your phone? I look at my phone. That's it. That's it. It's bizarre. I'm even weirded out by it. It's like what am I doing? You never sit down and watch a movie? Rarely. It's very rare. I know. They're entertained. About it. You don't watch movies and you make'em? How fucking crazy that is. What's wrong? I'm crazy. I'm crazy all right.

What is your new movie? Do you mind me talking about it? Please do. Are you sure? 100%. I wrote, directed and starred in a m new movie that just came out a few days ago called Wingman. And it's on streamers, Apple TV, and it's on Prime, Prime Video. And I play a crazy wingman that helps people get laid. Nice. Yeah. And it's with Jamie Kennedy, Russell Peters, Kayla Wallace, Evan Marsh. Oh nice. Shiva Nagar and uh Did you make this yourself?

Well we made it with a with a studio, Stardust Pictures up in Canada with David Lipper and Justin Levine and uh it's a full on m full on movie we we shot up in Canada. Nice. Yeah, really proud of it and uh And uh I hope people check it out. I hope you check it out. Yeah. I'll check it out if you promise to watch movies every now and then yourself. I'll do it if you promise to be in my next movie and we'll watch it together. That's a lot of it. It's an offer. Okay. We can talk. I'm excited.

I'd love to see you get back and to do a little acting. I like that there are comedy movies again. I really do. That's nice.

That's the one with I'm gonna do with Tony is full on that's why I'm sorta asking you'cause I wanna see you get your comedy face in there What is it about? It's about a redneck culture. Mm-hmm. And this is the part where you really love it, because I know you love vehicles. It centers around something called a mud bog, where guys in Florida jack up their pickup trucks and drive through mud for three days. It's not monster trucks.

They just drive through mud and jump and spray and then the other part of the movie takes place in those airboats that drive through all the marshes in Florida. And you would be the mayor of this town and get into it with Tony, who becomes one of these mugbod guys, so you'd be around all this shit. Good Lord, Florida's a different part. Look at these fucking cars. That's crazy. This is Jack. I do. Tell me you wouldn't like to be around that dude. Scroll back up, please.

So the movie Digging into the world of mud bogging in north central Florida. So Tony's gonna be the uh the lead guy who tries to win the whole mud bog thing. But meanwhile the mayor, which would be you, wants him out of town'cause he's such a redneck. He doesn't like the culture. Look at that. Florida is so different. Yeah. God So we're gonna have fun doing that. But yeah, thank you for letting me mention Wingman.

It's when you do uh an indie uh project it it helps to uh be able to talk about it. So thank you.

If you got an offer after this show to do a sitcom, would you consider doing it and if someone said, Listen, I think we could bring back the multicam sitcom but we want you to star in it, Harlan. I would if it was if it's all about the material. Yeah.'Cause me and you were older

I think as we get older it becomes about how do we want to dedicate our time. I'm not interested in just doing oh I got a sitcom. It's gotta have meaning to me. Of course. It's gotta be something where I Yeah, but if you could help create it. Oh yeah! That's what I'm saying. Hundred percent. Those guys that used to work on all those shows, like Seinfeld and Friends and they they have to still be out there in the Yeah.

Oh yeah. Isn't that nuts? Yeah. Like you imagine imagine back in the nineties when everybody wanted a sitcom when we were we were first coming up. If you said, you know, one day there'll be no more sitcom. You'd be like, What the fuck are you talking about? You'd have never believed that. If you went into these rooms where they they're making sex in the city and the single guy and all these rooms, hey guys

Enjoy it while you can. Yeah. Because in a couple of decades there's gonna be zero sitcoms on television. They would have just laughed. Yeah. They would have kicked you out of that office. Get the fuck out of here. You don't know what you're talking about. Meanwhile, that's true.

Well this is why I love I hate I'm just gonna go back to quickly AI because it shows we're evolving. You know, remember Joe at one point movies were black and white. They didn't have sound. Really? Yeah, yeah. They they were th they and then talkies came and color and digital and so I love it that every form of our entertainment is evolving and becoming there's stuff gonna come that we don't even know, which I love.

Me too. Yeah. But I think sitcoms didn't have to go away. That's what I'm saying. Yeah maybe not, but maybe so like the new way like your daughters probably don't want to sit down for half an hour. They watch all of them. Okay, well I was wrong. I was really wrong. Well I'm hurting. Me and my youngest we sat through the entire season I mean the entire all seasons of big bank

That was me and my family. We watched that one. Yeah. My wife and my d and then we watched Young Sheldon, which was the next version of it. Young Sheldon was really good. It was uh it was a single cam show that was on Netflix and it was Sheldon as a young kid. It was uh the genius kid as a young boy. Very funny show, but totally different. Like really cute, sweet show, but not uh in front of a live audience.

And I think there's something I loved doing news radio. I really did. Yeah. And but it was just because It was an insanely talented cast and we were all like brothers and sisters. We were we had so much fun. Family. Five years we worked together and we got drunk all the time and we it was so silly. Yeah. It was such a fun set. Summer camp. Yeah, it was really fun. It was really and the show I think was really good.

Also here's the best part. Which was great because none of us got really rich or famous from that show. It was really it was it was always like not doing so well in the ratings. We got moved nine times in five years. And this was ba back before the internet. So you couldn't like send out a tweet, Hey, we're on Sunday night Wow. I just saw this trailer the other day. This is a spinoff from Big Bang Theory, but it's not a was popping up. Oh no shit. Stewart fails to save the universe.

Yeah. It is a comedy. It is a thirty minute. So it's kinda in that w universe. Yeah, yeah, even like the the logo is like got the same. It's on HBO.

Yeah. Who's created more bangers than that Chuck Laurie guy? Oh my god. Yeah. लिए लिए लिए लिए He was Big Bang The what's that? for a while. The single camera stuff. No audience. Yeah. I'm on also thinking I wouldn't want to go sit. How much would they have to pay an audience to do that? Right. Well you only have to pay the audience until the show becomes successful.

Yeah, you don't really want a paid audience'cause they're not as much fun. Like news radio in the beginning, nobody knew who the fuck we were. But by season three the audience was news radio fans. Yeah. And it became a totally different thing. It was really fun. And Phil Hartman used to do stand up. Oh, nice.

He had talked about doing stand up in the clubs but he would do he was really good at impressions. He would do Bill Clinton impressions and he had he had bits. He had little things he would run. And he would just do it for fun. And you know, we had talked about him actually doing it uh in clubs and he thought about doing it. Um but

It was the whole thing was silly. Like Andy Dick would address the audience, he would a the people would answer questions. We had a good warm-up guy. It was like a party that was going on. Everybody had a great time. And that was after the show, you know, caught its gear. Yeah.

But it never was popular until it became syndicated. Then was the syndication, then it became really popular. Elasters was sorta popular. Every every week they'd put out the top one hundred and my sitcom was always number ninety nine or one hundred. So at least yours was probably up in the top thirty. No. One day Lou Morton Lou Morton was one of our writers and Lou every week would show up with a a t shirt with a number on it.

That he would draw with magic marker of what we were. And one day he showed up and it said 88. I go, 88? He goes, yup. I go, no. He goes, yeah. I go. Fuuuck dude, I was a hundred every week. Well, wh what network were you on? The WB. We were on NBC. Yeah, okay so W B didn't have affiliates all across the country. We only had like sixty percent. N B C is you're barely alive. But still a hundred hurts. Yeah. Hundred.

Well, they always always tell us, Don't worry, we're not worried about the numbers. We know we you gotta find your audience again. Now you're on Monday night. You used to be on Sunday. And one time we were on Thursday night, we were in the Friends Sandwich. So it was Friends and Seinfeld, which were Paul Sims, the executive producer of News Radio, famous called the shit sandwich.

Because in between Friends and Seinfeld you would have like Caroline and the City and these shows that weren't as good.

Do you wanna hear about salt in the wound? So mine was show was number one hundred, okay? It was called Simon. It was me, I was the star, I played Simon. Jason Bateman played my brother. Look at that. And The lead girl, Andrea Benderwald, we ended up dating. She became my girlfriend. Her best friend was Jennifer Aniston. She lived with Jennifer. So I would go and stay at Jennifer's house every night with my girlfriend. We were like threes company.

And I'd have to sit there and watch Friends with Jennifer, the number one show, well me and Andrea were at the bottom at number one hundred. It was like Oh I mean Love Jennifer was so happy, but talking about salt in the wound it was like oh damn. Isn't it crazy though, but you're on TV. You're living the dream. This is one of things

The earliest social media was the the Variety magazine and the Hollywood Report. That was like the same thing where these people would compare themselves to everybody else. And they would look at the rankings and I would show up on the set and you know like All these people love to read those things. And they were reading those things and I started calling them the devil's rag. I go, Why are you reading the devil's rag?

I go'cause they were we were complaining, like I can't believe we're number thirty six. If we were on, you know, Thursday night, we would be number two or number one or whatever. And I go, last time I checked, I'm on T V. Yeah. I go, we're on TV. We're on TV on NBC. There's not a lot of people that get to be on TV. Yeah. Like this is great. We're living the dream. So we're not number one. Like

You guys are reading that and you're forgetting how many people that you're friends with that are going on auditions right now that would kill to be on NBC. But it's the devil's rag. It's the same thing that happens with You know, you say, Oh, I just got a new car, I'm pretty happy and then oh Jeff Bezos got a yacht. Fuck! I was like you. I was like, I'm on TV. But I gotta tell you as we got deeper into the season. And I had to sit there beside Jennifer Aniston.

and watch her number one show every week and old one hundred is sitting beside her. I gotta say it it it started to seep in where you're just like, fuck I'm on TV. You know, it's sort of like there were days when it was just you could feel it not blaming her, but just the business. It was it was hard to sit at one end and see the other, but it it that's the way it works. It's the way it is, but you gotta really just be happy to watch.

Great. You're winning the lottery. Yeah. You you won the lottery. Yeah, and I loved it. I I got to work with Jason and I you know I was the star of my I came from the suburbs of Toronto. Never thought I'd Do anything. Here I am I got this I'm the star of my own sitcom, Simon. I'm like, this is unbelievable. Yeah. I share your attitude. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a lot of them that don't work, man. Yeah. I was on the set

and we were there like so you'd go to Sunset Gower and there'd be a bunch of other places that were next to you. Yeah. And I'd go visit with all those guys.'Cause like a lot of them were my friend. Like Lenny Clark. Lenny Clark was right down the street'cause he was on the the John Larriquette show. Do you remember that? Yeah, I got a little story about that when you're done.

Tell you, tell me. You don't wanna finish? Larric? So before I got my own sitcom So I was in Hollywood, I did two auditions. I did one for Ellen DeGeneres' first show, it was called These Friends of Mine, and I was a guest star on the show with Molly Shannon. And then my second audition was for the John Larriquette show. And I went in and auditioned and The feedback to my agents was John said this guy wants his own sitcom.

And I said to my agents, I said, You're damn right I do and the next gig I got was my own sitcom. Oh that's hilarious. Pretty cool. So you think he didn't like you because you wanted your own sitcom or he thought you were too good for his show because you want your own sitcom? I think he must have sensed I walked in there with attitude or cockiness, which I didn't. I just did the audition, but he must have been reading my vibe somehow. That's you.

Yeah. Well people that d that's how you wa like people that don't you know you this Harlan, you've always been like this. From the moment I met you, you've always been like this very happy, very confident guy. You never look rattled to do a show. You always look like you're having a good fucking time. Oh yeah. All of us like there was moments where everyone had a big show and you're like, fuck. real nervous. You were never like that. No. You were always like happy go lucky Yeah.

I don't know one person that doesn't like it. Do you know how crazy that is? I'm not a married. But do you know how crazy that is? Like I know every comic that I know has a comic that they don't get along with, that they hate. Yeah. Someone hates them or they hate them or there's some fucking fuck that guy, that guy's a piece of shit. His comedy sucks. That's a blessing. We were talking about in the green room'cause it was a after you came on with Dimitri. I was Yeah.

I told everybody I was howling. He waited the whole show before he pulled his fucking snake out of his pants. By the way, that snake sat right in front of Donald Trump when he was here. I loved it. I told you that. I know you did. That conversation that we had in the green room was like, who the fuck do you know that doesn't like Harlan? And we all sat around and talked about it. There's no one. Oh. You are you are like the most un universally loved comedian that I know.

Oh my God. I'm telling you, yeah.

I have to go, he's a great guy. Yeah. He's a great guy. It's just like in that world, you have to understand the roast world. Like that is not the real world, kids. That is you're going for blood. Like if you're in a cage fight and you elbow someone in the face, it's not because you're a bad person. You have to do that. That is the Good job. That's the game we're playing. If you don't do it, you're you're you're letting yourself down. You've got to go in and fight.

Yeah, that's the game we're playing. These are the rules that we're under. We're all talking shit. Yeah. You know? Yeah. People complain about it. Yeah. Say I understand the general public that's not aware of what roasts are because the reality of roasts are, especially for like if you're a twenty-two-year-old kid, the last time there were roasts on television before the Tom Brady bros was literally ten years ago.

Yeah. Like do you remember the Charlie Sheen Rose, the Donald Trump Rose, the Comedy Central Rose? They used to have them all the time. All the time. They were a long time ago. Yeah. It's a long time in the zeitgeist. Right. So those things don't exist to kids. To kids, comedy is joking about stuff.

Comedy is Chris Rock. Comedy is Kevin Hart. Comedy is Louis C. K. That's what they think of comedy as. They don't under they don't even understand the jokes. Like that this is roast jokes are fucking mean. They've always been fucking mean They can be cruel too. Personal ruthless. Go back and watch all those old Comedy Central Works. They were fucking brutal. Yeah. They were brutal. Patrice would just eviscerate the entire fucking stadium.

Those things the thing is like if you're a person and you're not accustomed to roast and you don't get why those jokes are so mean, I get it. But comedians. Comedians that are getting upset about these roast jokes, fuck all the way off. Just fuck all the way off. All the way. You fucking traitor. You know what this is. You know exactly what this. You're a fucking trader. You're just using this moment to try to boost yourself up.

to try to like knock down what's happening in these you could disagree with the content. You could say I think they went too far with this. I don't think But the this this fucking uh pretending that these people are actual racists and Nazis just because they're telling these jokes that are in a roast like fuck all the way off.

Yeah, don't suit up, go out and play hockey if you don't want to play hockey. Like sit on the bench. But and don't don't badmouth the people playing hockey. Yeah, it it is what it is and That's the game.

We're playing. We're playing this ruthless game. And by the way, you know who didn't have a problem with it? Kevin Fucking Hart. Yeah. Kevin fucking Hart has defended every single person that said horrible shit about him, about him being lynched from a bonsai tree and all the craziest shit that they said. Well you know who else didn't have a problem with it is the people, the corporations that put it on corporate television on corporate airwaves. So there's a whole subsection

of the foundation of where these the platform that they're given, they didn't care about it either. They won't do it. They knew from the Tom Brady Roast how powerful those things are now. The Tom Brady roast was the number one watch thing in Netflix history. Wow.

I gotta say I'm not the hugest fan'cause I don't love cruel humor as much, but but I do love it that that Tom Brady roast, I feel like it kicked wokeness over the cliff, like those buffalo. We were getting so woke. And we needed that roast to sort of course correct. There's two things that killed woke. Number one kid rocked gun down a whole fucking stack of Bud Light kids. That was so good. That might have been it. That was gorgeous.

Might have been that because then they got to see the real financial consequences of being fucking completely insane. Yeah. That people were fed up, they're like enough. Yeah, and Kid Rock saying fuck you Anheuser Bush, like that is that's a big hit to the stock price. And then people realize, oh, this is a micro set of people that are very loud, but it's not the macro. It's not Yeah. It's not. Even smaller than micro. It's it's like micro micro.

Not only that, but the people that were in it, a lot of them have abandoned ship. Yeah. A lot of them abandoned ship. Virtue signaling is done. They just realize they got caught up in a thing that was like the way people were behaving and so they imitated what was going on in their social groups. It's a normal thing that people do, but it just it wasn't rational. And that's why it it got shot down by Kid Rock.

By the way, what kind of gun did he use? I don't know guns, I bet you know what he used. Think you use an AR? Go back and look at it. It's a assault rifle. Is it like like automatic? Semi-automatic. I mean maybe he used an automatic. He's in Tennessee. They have some solid gun. And he just blasted away. How many in a clip for an AR, do you know? It's called a magazine. See, I don't know Canadian, I don't know anything about guns. They vary. A magazine. Well we never had them.

What is he shooting there? Wow, look at that. Let's see let's see the video of him doing it and I can kinda tell you better. That's all. Kid Rock shoots back at Bud Light. How many views does this have? How many views this video have? Look at this. Okay. Uh Uh that's an AR I think. That's a magazine. But it might be it might be a fully automatic. That's not a clip? Let me hear it, please. Yeah, I think that's fully automatic. Yeah, that's fully automatic, a hundred percent.

Wow. So he has uh some kind of machine gun. I wanna shoot up a six pack of Doctor Pepper just for fun. I love Doctor Pepper but now I wanna shoot a some pop. Why don't you just go shoot something you don't like?'Cause it's kind of symbolic of something you're trying to kill. Wolf?

Depends on where they are. Listen, if wolves are in the mountains and they're just being wolves and they're eating elk and deer, and I'm all for wolves. I'm not an anti wolf person, but I think you shouldn't bring them into residential neighborhoods and drop'em off in ranches. I think that's fucking ridiculous.

But I think the wolves in the wild are important. I'm not an anti wolf person. I just don't like people doing what I call ballot box biology where you get people to decide by voting that are never gonna experience these wolves. Do you think we should reintroduce wolves to Colorado? And all these people that just got back from Whole Foods like, yeah, that would be amazing. I heard it was gonna help the sprouts grow. And they they vote yes and then these poor lambs are getting eaten alive.

Have you shot a wolf? No. No, I don't want to hunt wolves. I don't I mean I would shoot a wolf if I thought the wolf was like endangering my family or trying to kill my dog or I love wolves. I don't not like wolves. I think they're awesome. I think they're awesome. Never heard a wolf howl in the wild? It's very haunting. It's very ghostly. Even more, I know you've heard coyotes, but a wolf has this long howl, it's almost

I can see why Native Americans are so spiritually connected to it. It it's very ghostly and Oh yeah. It's spiritual almost. It's a very in uh a beautiful sound. Oh, they're amazing animals, but That was pretty good. Sort of like that. Do you know if you do that? It slipped. I had a friend who had wolves and if you do that in his house they start howling. Yeah, they go nuts. Yeah, I would go over his house and and Father? Wild, what a wild animal. They're amazing.

Crazy noise. Look, they're incredible. They're incredible. That's... They're important to keep populations. I just don't think you should reintroduce them to fucking aspen, you assholes. I don't know. It might be fun to see a pack of timbers taking down a skier. Like Charlie Sheen coming down the hill with Denise Richards and It was a movie. Rip out there. There was a movie about that called Frozen, not like the let it go Oh yeah, it was with Liam Neeson.

No, that was the gray. The the frozen movie It's a hor I know all the wolf movies. It's a horror movie about these kids that are uh skiing and they get stuck on a ski lift because they forget they're up there and there's wolves down there. Okay. So the guy falls and his legs break. And then the wolves come and get'em. You're gonna get mad at me, but I don't a movie like this one scare me because I just know wolves to be skittish like this.

Yeah. You don't know what you're talking about. If you're injured. Lions. Uh leopards, Jaguars, like forget it. They'll take you down but My experience with wolves is there's more skittish around humans, but I don't want to get into it again. If you have a broken leg like that guy did in this movie. Oh yeah. Yeah, bleeding and they can smell it. The terror. They're eating them. They're killing them at Is that Denise Richards? No. No. It looks like Drew Barry. Spoiler alert, they live.

Also spoiler alert, no wolves in New Hampshire. It's all bullshit. Yeah. There probably was at one point.

Yeah. They killed them all. Because they were killing people and livestock. Yeah. Yeah. Idiot. You know how they killed them too? Most of them they poisoned. What they would do is they would inject strychnine into horses and leave the horses. Wow, they did a lot of trapping too, those cruel the uh the snap traps. Yep. They did that too.

I knew some old uh trap guys up when I worked up north and uh These guys you might not want to hear this, but the way they'd take'em out is they'd trap'em in the leg trap. And then they didn't want to damage the pelt, so then they walk up to them while they're trapped and they just clonk'em. They club'em to death. Yeah, like club seals like that. Yeah. Yeah. Horrible. Yeah, that's I don't like that. Clubbing seals. That was rough. Do you ever see those videos? And the seals

At least a wolf would run away. These seals they're just laying out sunbathing and they walk up and just bam smack and pop their skulls. And you're doing that for their fur. And the babies. They'd smack the babies because they had that beautiful white fur. Oh my gosh. These things are like a chromosome away from being a sex toy. They're so cute. Wow. Hmm. Wolves are good. Yeah. You just don't want'em in your neighborhood. I do. Should be in the woods.

I love'em. I'd I wouldn't mind if they were around.

Do you have a dog? I've had them. What if you came out and your dog was getting eaten alive by wolves?'Cause they eat dogs. I lost a co uh one of my dogs to coyotes. I remember the day you told me your pit bull went up and took out a whole squad of coyotes. No, no, no. It wasn't my pit bull. Oh, I thought it was yours. No no no. Your neighbours?

It was one of my friends who worked at a pet store who was also worked at a veterinarian's office. Okay. And he told me the story about this pit bull that came into the veterinarian's office. It was covered in cuts, a big Okay, okay. Yeah, you told me this like like ten, fifteen years ago.

Yeah. It was like one of those you know they there's there's these companies that um take pit bulls and they breed'em and make'em like a hundred and twenty pounds. They keeding them bigger and bigger. This was one of those. This thing was a fucking tank. Tank.

And he said it was covered in cuts. And the they asked the guy like what happened? He goes, I don't know. Uh you know, I came home, he was all fucked up and bleeding. Yeah. So he brings him in, they stitch him up, and then the guy follows the blood trail. Out into the hills and he finds nine dead coyoges. I remember you told me that. We were at the store one night and you told me that you just heard it. Like, wow. That is the nutty-ass That story stayed with me'cause it was so like crazy.

He went there he said it looked like Vietnam. Yeah. He goes there was just their necks were torn apart, their fucking legs were broken.'Cause this pit bull, once he grabs a hold of them, he just starts shaking them. Yeah, they're not super big.

But they would do this thing where they would like corner an animal and they would trick it. And the way they would trick it, they would send one animal out there to get chased. Yeah. And so that Very The dog would chase it and they would all come into the sides and tear it apart. They're really smart that way. Fucked with the wrong dude. No crazy story. I I remember that one you told me that. I was like that's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, they're everywhere now. They're in Everywhere.

They're uh they're really cool too. Coyote America, that book by Dan Flores, the same guy who wrote uh bison ecology, bison diplomacy. He wrote this amazing book about coyotes where he explains like why they're everywhere.'Cause Grey wolves and coyotes don't breed, but red wolves and coyotes do. That's why you have those koi wolves and the Yeah. Grey Walls have always killed

Yeah yeah. So when grey wolves find coyotes they kill'em. And so coyotes are used to being persecuted by the grey wolves and then they just keep moving to new places. That's what they do. So that's how they made it all the way across the country. So when people were killing coyotes or people were trying to hunt coyotes, they just moved. They just moved to new places. Yeah. Oh, that they can adapt. I see'em in my front lawn almost every other week. Yeah, they're everywhere.

Yeah, I'm in the Hollywood Hills and there I see'em walking right past my m swimming pool. I mean it's not cool if you have a dog or a cat'cause they will eat'em. But they they are cool. They're it's a cool animal. And their their howls are wild too. Well they go off sometimes if there's a a fire engine goes by in Hollywood. The the coyotes will react to it and go off. They also keep the rats down. Like that's why you don't see a lot of rats. Yeah. Rat population down. Oh yeah.

If they if they killed up all the coyotes, it would have a devastating effect for the ecosystem too. There would be a bunch of shit that would be around all the time now that they're killing and eating. Yeah. Yeah, no, they're they're cool animals, man. There was a A girl speaking of being killed by wolves, there was a girl in Prince Edward Island about about twelve years ago, I think. Killed by a pack of coyotes. She was out running with her Walkman on and She was like a promising folk singer.

Yeah. They said that those coyotes were unusual'cause they were used to killing movies. They were killing moose. Yeah, the coyotes would literally they were going after bigger game'cause there wasn't a lot of game there. So they were used to packing together and like taking out the moose by like attacking their legs. Yeah. Cut keep cutting at their legs. Yeah. Until they can't run. Wow, I've never heard of coyotes taking down a moose.

Uh we we looked it up on the show. This was a very unusual That's strange, yeah. And it's one of the reasons why they think these coyotes killed this girl. Yeah, she was out jogging. Yeah. But that's the thing, man. They they they don't have rules. They don't like well we don't fuck with people and people don't fuck with us. But the orcas seem to they seem to understand what we are. They've saved people. Even out in the wild, like people that fell overboard, they've saved them.

Yeah, isn't it strange that such a probably the top predator in the sea next to the sperm whale The killer whale could take whatever it wants and somehow instinctively it leaves humans alone. I it I don't really understand it and that's why I talk about sort of the programming of nature to Step around humans somehow.'Cause it doesn't make sense. Humans look like seals with the same body shape, the same weight pretty much, and yet orcas there's no documented kill of a human uh by an orca.

I know. Other than Sea Worlds. Yeah. Well they're so smart and their brains are huge. They're huge. Huge. We just equate intelligence with your ability to manipulate your environment. Like so they don't have a house, they don't have cell phones, they must be idiots. But we don't know. And they they clearly understand that we're different than everything else. But that's what I mean. Well we are. Show some respect, bitch. We're the ones with the guns. Uh it's Beach. Thank you.

I mean, I think that's a good thing Thank you. We both love animals. Yeah. I know you love animals. I love animals too. I just love people more. I love people the same, but if it came to deciding whether we left Earth with humans or animals I'll be honest, this'll sound mean I'd I'd give it to the animals. 'Cause they don't know cruelty. They don't know malice.

Do you know are they this listen, you're saying you're talking crazy talk. Do you know how uh bears kill things? They just eat'em. They hold'em down, they eat'em. They don't even kill'em first. But it's not it's not from cruelty, it's for survival. Humans are cruel. Have you heard of Hiroshima? Yeah. I have. That was probably less cruel than a bear eating you asshole first. No, but there's no intent with a animal. They're just trying to eat you. An animal doesn't have intent.

Right, but the end result's still the same. If you you were getting eating asshole first by a grizzly bear, you're not thinking, well, he doesn't have intent to be cruel. This is just how he eats me. Asshole first is his favorite way to do it. Has to eat you he can't go to the grocery store. He doesn't have to eat you he could kill you first and then eat you like a cat does. But he doesn't know how to do it. We're not going to be able to do No no no he doesn't care. Right.

Not that he doesn't know how. He could definitely kill you. If you were a bear and they were fighting, he would grab you by the neck and he would kill you like they try to kill each other. But it when they eat you, they're not they just don't care. Right. Well that's what I mean. There's no malice. Whereas human But the result is the same. You're not gonna take comfort in the fact that he doesn't have malice while he's eating your dick. Uh it's pronounced gourd.

You know that video uh well the the audio of Grizzly Man getting eaten? Yeah. It's five minutes long. It's five minutes long of him screaming while this thing's just eating him by grabbing his thighs and pulling chunks out of his thighs. By the way, they finally just recently released that audio, right?'Cause in the movie Grizzly Man the director refused to play it. No, it's not real. It's Werner Herzog. He he they destroyed that audio. Yeah. The the fake audio that's online that's just Fake.

It's not even new. It's been around forever. But you listen to it, if you know it's fake, you hear it, you go, Oh, this is bullshit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds fake. But the point is like yeah, people are gross and cruel, so are Chen.

You know, so what they do to monkeys is fucking horrific. Yeah. You know, I don't know if they're doing it on purpose, but they what they do to people, it seems like they're doing it on purpose when they bite your fingers off and pull your eyeballs out. It seems like they're being cruel. You know, I think it's a primate survival tactic. Especially like primates that engage in war. Like chimps engage in war. You develop cruelty in order to be better at your job.

Yeah, but I th I think with them they they lack emotional cru cruelty. Like humans we have We have the knowledge to know something's bad or good. They just know survival. And we engage in bad. Right. Which Makes us a different kind of cruel. Yeah. Did I just win my first argument? No, I mean you're right, I agree with you about that. We we have a t certain type of cruelty that's not you know, it's not like any other animal's cruelty because we're aware of how it's gonna affect other people.

Yeah. They're not really aware but they just don't care. Yeah. You know you know when they do those things where they communicate with chimpanzees, they teach'em sign language. You know they've never had a chimp ask a question. Yeah, right. Interesting. Interesting. But they're never like why are you wearing clothes? I never thought of that. Yeah. Yeah. Can we get Arby's for lunch? Like why don't they ever ask for anything? Don't ask.

Yeah, that's well wait, did did um you know what that's not true? How so? Coco the the gorilla He would ask for affection. He would ask for love and hugs. Oh yeah, but that's a request. That's not a question. Like why am I here? Oh okay. You're talking more of a philosophical question. No, I'm talking about uh b ha be having actual curiosity about like its environment. I understand. Why is your skin white and mine is not? What is They're not aware.

How come you don't walk on your hands? It's very boxed in in comparison to our intelligence. We have the intelligence to understand this thing probably doesn't like being in the cage. They don't think that way. No. Do you believe in the concept of a missing link, like something in between Homo erectus and Neanderthal and then us modern day? Is there a missing I think th first of all the real problem is What's the evidence in terms of the fossil record? It's very incomplete. Right.

Because it's hard to get fossils. Right. Like y for for someone to leave a fossil behind, you have to die in mud or there's been specific conditions. So most animals that die, I think we looked it up before, it's like ninety nine percent are never gonna leave a fossil. Right. So when they find things like denisov, So the Dennis ovens I think they found in the two thousand tens or something like that.

When did they find them? Was it more recently than that? Maybe it was more recently than that. So they just found like a two. And a finger. And then and then they start finding bones. They're like, Hey, this is not like a normal human tooth. This is not like a normal human bone and then they do DNA tests on'em and then they go, Oh, this is different. This is a different type of human. So there's humans that lived alongside humans that we just found out about ten years ago.

So how many versions of from ancient hominid to modern Homo sapien, how many versions were there that we have evidence of? That's what we don't know. What's the homo event? Oh what happened? We just got scrolled, player. That that was weird, wasn't it? Scrolled. What did it just do? That was so weird. That was so weird. It's like it's like they didn't want us reading this out loud. The homo we're missing.

Uh that's a good question. So um the archaeologist from the Institute of Archaeology and Ethnography of the Siberian branch of the Russian Academy of Sciences in Novosibrist. akademgorodok investigated the cave and found a finger of a juvenile female hominid originally dated from fifty to thirty thousand years ago. Huh. And then the estimate was changed to seventy six thousand to fifty one thousand years ago.

Specimen was originally named Ex Woman. So anyway, um the whole thing is they they found out this is go back to that yeah. um a novel ancient hominid genetically distinct from both contemporary modern humans and from Neanderthals. So they knew from that that it's a new kind of human.

And that's just two thousand eight. So this is eighteen years ago they found that. So who knows how many ones they could find if they kept if you had there's a limited amount of archaeologists that are doing this kind of work. Imagine if you had Thousands and thousands of them scouring Asia, scouring Africa, looking there's probably a bunch more that we haven't discussed. Oh, definitely. So this idea of the missing link, I'm not sure if that's accurate. Okay.

Because I'm glad you said that'cause it it sort of illumin illuminated me a little. I hadn't thought of it in those terms. 2008, a Taiwanese citizen purchased a fossil homo mandible dredged from the seafloor of the Taiwan Strait from an antique shop.

and donated to Taiwan's National Museum, the National Science. Uh attempts to extract the DNA were unsuccessful, but in twenty twenty five protein analysis of the specimen designated Pengu I was published showing that it belonged to a male Denis Oven. Was this in a shop? I love that. Link was in an antique shop. Well that's how they found gigantopithecus too. They found I like that old lamp. I'll take that plate and how about historic missing link? How much is that? What the hell?

I think it's just a different kind of person. Yeah. You know? And then Interesting. they kept finding more of them maybe we'd have a better understanding of like what we're talking about. But There's a giant leap, that's for sure. Yeah. It's the biggest mystery in the entire fossil record is the doubling of the human brain size over a period of two million years. Well it's a nutty nutty thing that happened. All of a sudden our brains grew.

Well what's interesting to me too is that you you do have some fossilized remains that are very, very, very old that date back to, you know, caveman era stuff. And then we have stuff closer to what we just looked at, but there's that That one transitional where you'd think there'd be a tr transitional creature that they can't seem to find. They might find it. They might, I hope they- And I think some of these are getting closer. They don't have like a lot of Denisovan bones.

But uh there's gonna be a few more that they find, I'm sure, if they keep looking. I bet there was probably a bunch of different kinds of humans. The question is like why did we succeed and why why are we so much smarter than all the rest of'em? We should go antiquing this weekend, see what we can dig up. According to that, missing links in an antique. In China, right? I don't care if they bought China or pottery, I just let's go in. I gotta wrap this up. Great to see you.

Thank you for being here. Uh Wingman, it's is it available? Streaming is available everywhere. It's only streaming uh on Apple and Amazon Prime right now, all over the world, and then in Canada we will start Streaming the end of June, and they might even do uh 60 to 90 theaters up there. So we're excited. Yeah. So wingman, yeah. And good luck with the Tony one too. Yeah, and hopefully maybe we'll see you there.

Hopefully maybe. Yeah. And congratulations on Guest of the Year. That's awesome also. Oh that's That was that was last year? Yeah, that was last year. Thank you, buddy.