#2492 - Ari Shaffir

Podcast. The Joe Logan experience. What? Ari the Wanderer. It's a new phone number. That's not bad. That's a new number.'Cause that's what you are. Oh, I was telling you last night that I I thought it was in Mexico City, but we had a a report that you were at an Oasis concert in Mexico City and he said no, it was in R. Sao Paulo. Oh, Sao Paulo. Okay, so it was in Brazil. So we no one knew where you were. You were gone for how many months? Six?

Seven months. Yeah. How many times have you done that now? I guess three. Although when I went to Ecuador, I was very much in touch with everybody. So it was like That was a halfway. That was a halfway. For six months, but I was I was in touch. Yeah. I still had numbers. I was still like doing like podcasts and stuff and Were you doing it remotely?

Doing remotely. Yeah. I would do one with uh Big J and Soda. We did a twenty one jump street breakdown podcast. Yeah. Yeah. We were so bored during the pandemic, we were like, let's find a show and just let's get together. First we chose Sex in the City and then found out gay fucking Ian already had a Sex in the City podcast. Um Yeah. Dude, that guy blows dudes. Obviously he loves sex in the city. Yeah, I guess so. So we're like we don't wanna step on his toes, like let's pick another

He seems like he's straight sometimes. He does. It's weird. No, no, he thought. He fucks better than we ever did. For women. Okay. So and then but then he went to guys? He's a new breed of just like When did he go to guys? Is that a new thing? He battled with it for a while. Oh okay. So he was fucking girls but hating'em? God I wish you were gone. Like that kind of a deal.

Yeah, I guess. And then he went to Glory Holes and he was saying he wasn't gay. I'm like, bro, that's one of the biggest signs of a gay. So you just stick your whole your dick in the hole or you suck the dick that comes out of the hole? Like was he the glory giver or the glory taker? You're asking me questions I don't know. I a s I always assumed in my head it was he was sucking dudes off, but but I'm I'm actually not sure. Yeah. It's interesting.

Yeah, because if if the dick comes through the hole, if you're like you ever want to suck a dick but I don't want to look a guy in the eyes, I just want to know what it's like and see if I'm good at it. Yeah, I don't wanna be embarrassed in front of anybody, they're gonna recognize me later. I just wanna work on my technique. Yeah, I just wanna f find out if I'm right. I need more research. Not enough data points.

Yeah, because so so you didn't even ask him which side of the glory hole he was on? I think I was so overwhelmed by this heterosexual dude who was telling me he was the glory holes. And so then he was heterosexual. This was back in the day. We did a podcast, my old podcast, on the way down to like somewhere. This is a skeptic tank? And and he was telling me that, but he was telling me he's not gay and I was like

How do I say that? Wait. And I was like, Buddy, I think you are gay. He goes, W why? I'm like, the glory hole stuff. It's a big sign. And he goes, What? Do you think? I was like I was like, But you didn't even that's the crazy thing is you didn't even ask whether he sucks or gets sucks. I was lost in it. You're right. As an interviewer, I didn't do my job that day. Obviously that's a major question. It's a one in two chance. Yeah. Right. It's like very important to know.

It is'cause there is a percentage chance it might be a chick blowing you. There's no percentage chance Is a vagina. Zero percent chance. It's one hundred percent a guy or a guy pretending to be a chick. I bet there's a ton of those dudes who have Wives, you know, who live in that world like I thought I always thought it was a woman. Like shut up. Yeah, right. Shut up. Yeah. Yeah. So then he just decided to just go straight gay? No, he's everywhere he does everything. Oh. He's like Miami guy.

Sexual. Okay. Yeah, so we did the twenty one jump street podcast. And uh and I would do it sometimes. I'd get on, they'd be like, Are you drinking a coconut with a palm tree behind you? Like out of a coconut. I was like, Oh, this is just a Tuesday guys, what's going on? I really milk it. 'Cause you're in Ecuador. 'Cause I was in Ecuador. I was having a good time. What is that gay tea you drink? So you just got into this it's literally a jar of hay. It really is.

You pour hot water and there's so much hay in there. So much. It tastes you tried it. Yeah. Yeah. It tastes like just hay. I don't understand. It's like a ritual. It's all the gauchos in Argentina and then spread to Chile and southern And so it's just a bunch of leaves that are in the Yeah. Your Ba Mate, right? Yeah. But that that drink is like different. I've had that stuff.

I think that's different. Really? Yeah, I think it's about as much as like what Willie Nelson's like drink is actually weed. Oh, Willie Nelson's drink is weak. Really? Oh yeah. I don't know what the legality of that is, and I don't want to throw anybody under the bus, but Ron White brought a bunch of it. And it's very legit. Yeah. It it's it's all dose dependent. I think one glass is like five milligrams or one shot is like five milligrams. But if you drink a glass of that shit Going for it.

You're gonna go into that weird dimension. Do you know that weird dimension where you're like, I think this is Earth? But it doesn't seem like Earth anymore. It's like a facsimile of Earth. You try to look at people like you see what I'm seeing? Yeah. I remember one time um I was doing Fear Factor and we were in San Francisco and uh back this is the unregulated edibles days, you know,'cause this is before marijuana was legal. Get a prescription? Which one? Yeah. Oh yeah.

I'll do it. You'll be a better. Because this is early days. And by the way, it was just like there's banana bread uh going around now. It's killing people, it's great. Not killing people, but like destroying people. He goes, they came in these doses, one X, two X, or three X. The problem is X didn't equal any number. Yeah. Some guy mixing up his bathtub full of fucking whatever, like weed infused cookie dough, and deciding what's X to him. That's not a mathematical equation.

X had no number value. one times this. What's this, right? Yeah. Well those I had the joke too about the gummy bear. The guy who literally said that to me. I go, How much should I take? He goes, Just a leg. I go, just the leg. I go, Why the fuck are you selling whole bears if I should only eat it like'cause it's only that big. Like no one's in to eat just the leg. It's a crazy dose. Half a cookie is the right cause that's no Cookie is a dope.

So th back in these days we were doing Fear Factor and we were doing it it was uh we were doing it off of a aircraft carrier in the Bay Area and so we had to take the you know that one train, I forget what it is, is it the BART that goes under the water? That goes under the bay between Oakland and San Francisco. The Bart, yeah. Bart, whatever it is. No, I called the bar just to fuck with them.

I w I took this edible and it was an unregulated edible, so I have no idea and it was way too strong. And I was I was like, why do my ears feel weird? And they're like, because you're under the ocean. And I was like, no. Oh It was like the longest twenty minutes of my life waiting to pop out on the other side. Uhhuh.

Like we're under this how long has this fucking subway been under the o ocean? Like how long has this existed? Like what are the odds this thing is still good? Is anybody out there diving, checking on the tube, making sure there's no holes in it? Ha ha. You know, in this fucking... You start doing all the research in your head. And it was like I I felt like I was talking to people but what I was seeing was a two dimensional

Like uh you know like those uh stand ins, like when you go to the movie and it's like, you know, a person standing there like thumbs up but it's like just a two dimensional cardboard cutout. That's what everybody looked like to me. It was like a two dimensional cardboard cutout, but then occasionally I'd see their soul. peeking around her shoulder to look at me. It was So heavy. How many X's? Yeah. Kind of high. I don't get that kind of high or drunk anymore.

Well that kind of high is really fun after. So it's mover. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When it's happening, it's terrifying. Oh, eggs are the best. I remember a guy I did jujitsu with he made pills. He made THC pills'cause he was like one of those all day guys. He was just high constantly all the time. Dab. And and so yeah, the dab guys. But this is pre dabs. And so this guy made pills. THC pills. I I I go, How many should you take?

And he and he goes, You should probably start off with one but I take two. So I took two'cause I'm an asshole. And uh I wound up having this conversation with this guy uh and he was weirding me out. It was at a jiu jitsu tournament, I was like, Why is this guy so So we're still going to be able to do that. Well turns out the dude uh eventually got arrested for rape.

And not just arrested for rape, but he was on the run. Wow. And he was on the run and couldn't stop doing jujitsu. And the way they caught him was he went to like Seattle or somewhere. Like'cause this was in California. You'd sign up for classes. And he was just rolling but he was killing everybody and everyone's like, Who is this fucking guy? Like, why is this guy so good? And then eventually they realized it was him. They go, Oh my god, this guy's wanted for rape. Wow.

He was a crazy person. And when I was like super high in these pills I could see all the crazy in his eyes. Like it's like he didn't say anything crazy. You can when you're on drugs you can see through people. It's f it's it's interesting. It is interesting. You really can see it. It's not one of those where I'm like, nah, it was just the drug fucking with me. You can tell. This was like a year. I think he maybe was out on bail or he was wanted and fleed and whatnot.

But I remember when I heard the story, I was like, Oh, that makes sense.'Cause he had the weirdest energy. Just like this dark energy, like creepy dark energy. Sometimes if you're on like a psychedelic and then someone's not on with you, you know, but they're around you, you you're like, Hey, you gotta go, you're freaking me out like I I don't know. Your energy's not of this. It's I don't know if you're looking at me, but like you gotta take off. Yeah. You can see like motivation

I know. It's weird. But it's not reliable. It's not like like uh I'm about to go into a uh a meeting with this defendant. I need to know if he's actually innocent or guilty. So I'm gonna take five grams of mushroom. It's there through his soul. Me and Big J were leaving uh Blues Fest in Ottawa once. We were leaving it's like a city festival, but then you wander into the what used to be the safest city in Canada, so you're all fucked up. It's great.

And as you're leaving, you just see who's on what drug. Like you just can tell, like mushrooms, acid, weed, drunk. Molly. Molly. Yeah, you just see it all. You just see through everybody. They're just sitting there talking. 야, I don't... I wonder what's gonna happen now that this uh thing happened at the White House.

First of all, I thought you know I'm out on the news, so I'm hearing stuff little by little about everything. Yeah. I thought it was just Ibogaine, which was like great, those people need that. And then and then I mean Ed Clay has been telling me about that for So long. Well Ed Clay I talked about him on the podcast'cause he was one of the ways that I found out. Me too.

And he would tell you he'd say, You should get on it, it helps the addiction. I'm like, I'm loving what I'm doing right now. I don't I don't want to get off this. I got my heart. But like uh I'm like this makes sense. And then oh fine, great, you got that and then I find out it's also I mean the best hippie flip. You you've got that MDMA and boomers and sure. Shrooms. And psilocybin. Yeah. Well, it's because MDMA and psilocybin maps was already doing MDMA studies with uh veterans.

So for people that, you know, watch a bunch of people get blown up and lost their friends and come back M D M A was one of the best therapies for helping them overcome PTSD. So MAPS had already pushed that through and Johns Hopkins had already done these studies with psilocybin. So they already pushed these things and they were already on the way to getting approval through the FDA. But the problem was nobody wants to stick their neck out and sign off on

It's the problem with with politics if you're running we talked about this, if you're running for an office and the opponent can say he wants drugs legalized, then you're fucked. So it's like it really binds your hands. Right. Well that's funny because that's kinda what Dan Patrick did in Texas about marijuana, but to his credit, Dan Patrick met with Rick Perry and Brian Hubbard, the guys that passed this Texas Ibogaine initiative.

And they convinced him of what this stuff actually is. And so they've donated so he's allocated rather a hundred million dollars in Texas for the I Begin Initiative. Which is amazing. But but that's a a sign of a s an intelligent man. Like this Dan Patrick guy had this stance on weed. There's like weed's baths ruining everything. And then they come to him and he's like, I am staunchly opposed to this.

And they sit they sit down with him, he explains, Brian Hubbard explains and he's very eloquent, explained what I began does. It's not recreational at all. And he hears it and he hears how much it it'll help particularly veterans that come back that are addicted to opiates and they're all fucked up. And even CTE, even like brain injuries from getting blown up. It's neuroregenerative somehow. It's a crazy plant.

And so he he to his credit, he signed off and they allocated a hundred million dollars for the Texas Ibegan initiative, which is amazing. Wow. But it's like all these people have these ideas in their head, but it's all because of Nick All of it goes back to the Well you grew up with this is evil, this is you'll get stuck that way kind of stuff where it's like Yeah.

Yes. This is what's important about these studies. Like and I think this is important about weed too. You know, I'm very adamant that it's not for everybody. I think there's a lot of things. Oh strong. Some of it's so strong. They're already on the way. There's schizophrenia in their family. There's like they just that's not a good thing for them. mexican way It's like the Twelve percent THC where it's like this just gotta be I just wanted to The old.

Mm. I'm gonna bury myself and this is a movie again. I don't wanna go to Pluto. Uh just is there anything is there what's the shot? I want to be in the clouds right above the city. That's it. What's the shot in a beer of weed? I want that. That's it. Right. Yeah. Right. I don't want to fucking dab. I see these dabbers. Oh these c I asked for. meds in a dispensary once and they're like, what are you what? What is that?

Yeah. Yeah. I I remember the early days, it was like Zenda Spence, one of the early ones and I was like Just getting into it. Atari hooked me up, remember that guy with like weed? And it was like it's like okay, so now I'm into it and I went to Zen and I was like, Hey, listen, I I like to smoke cigarettes while I write. Uh I'm off cigarettes now, but it it's a habit.

So I need something, but I if I smoke a joint, I'm done writing. Right. And that's what they say, Oh, you want Mexican weed? We can do that for you. Uh just something calm. Yeah. It's like going to a powerlifting gym and saying, Do you guys have yoga classes? Get the fuck out of here! We're only here to get jumped. Yeah. They did that in Ecuador. There was a city I was in when I did ayahuasca, and it was a guy from the tourism board.

And he said, What's gonna s there's three cities that are like on the border to the Amazon. Mm-hmm. And and, you know, you can go in from any one of them. And they go, What's gonna separate our city from all these other Amazonian cities? And they go, let's be the ayahuasca city. And everyone else on the tourism board said, No, we are not getting a bunch of fucking hippie backpackers in here to be drug addicts in our town. Like that's not what we're looking for at all here.

Yeah it did. You just filled it up. I'm not. There's a lever on it too, I know. Uh and he goes, Okay, fair but he goes, Can I take you on an ayahuasca trip to each member? And each member was like, you know, they're half indigenous, they're like, sure. Right. And then one by one they all go, Oh, this isn't an addictive thing. Right. So I had a the wrong idea in my head of what this was. You come once, you don't come back for a year. Everybody had that thing from the Nixon administration.

It's the Controlled Substances Act of nineteen seventy. And that thing that's it's really nuts, but for fifty six years we've been living underneath that. It's just it becomes a given. Uhhuh. You don't think to reevaluate any knowledge that's in there? I know and it's like so many people. It's just a little microdose of shrooms, it'll change your fucking life. It it would it would help so many people. There's so many people that are stressed out for no fucking reason.

Really does give you such a reasonable. 100%. Molly too, or I know that's why I was talking to you. The MDMA uh maths people were always like, Please start calling it MDMA. When you call it Molly, it becomes a party drug. I'm like, Well I do it at parties. So that's what it is for me. The problem with what they're saying by saying that is like no, because it is a party drug too. Yeah.

It's also just like what are we gonna call b uh whiskey? We're gonna call it uh you know, alcohol by volume. Are you gonna have a technical term for what whiskey is? Fuck off. It's whiskey. You know what I mean? Like that's why people like it. Like you call it that if you want. You do whatever you want. I'm gonna call it Molly. Fuck up.

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Fuck off with all your rules. That's a good ringtone. It's because they've spent so much money and so much time and so much effort trying to get this stuff passed through. It would be so huge if you could just go get some mushrooms. Oh. It'd be so huge. And why can't you if you can go to Costco and just buy a jug of whiskey and drink yourself to death?

It also so like in Ska in Edinburgh, they have a season for it, and you can go through the the meadows or any of these fields and just like pick mushrooms. Right. On your shoe it's fine. And if it comes off your shoe, then it's illegal. That's hilarious. But it's just like growing there.

You know where Duncan used to live in Asheville? Uh uh they started giving the cows like a certain type of feed that had antifungal properties to it. What? So that they wouldn't grow so who knows what it did to the cow's gut and the you know. Mm-hmm. Ruined the cows. Just because so many kids were picking mushrooms off of the cow shit. They we gotta t put a stop to this.

In Thailand it's the elephant shit. And they and the and the guys who ran the elephant like abusive centers, whatever, so you could ride'em and make'em play harmonica. This stuff is natural in the wild. Oh no. Oh no, guys. Elephants love painting you a picture. We wrote'em when we were in Thailand. Yeah.

Then I went back my second time and they were all everyone in the hostel was doing that. And then uh I was like, No, I already did it and they go, Humane or non humane? I'm like, Oh, definitely the humane one. They're like, Did you write'em? That's inhumane. I'm like, Oh yeah, inhumane then.

Well, the elephants wanted you to ride'em. They don't mind. Like'cause you weigh nothing and you feed them first and you make you give them an offering. Right. So you first of all you wash them and you feed them. So you feed them like you give them sugar cane.

And you you have to d develop a relationship with the elephant before you ride it. Like these people were all they were all free range elephants, they're all rescue elephants. So the elephants would come in out of the jungle. Like they weren't in cages. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. Get a saddle on him?

Uh-huh. Well you don't it's barely a saddle. You just kinda climb onto them and there's like a thing that you hold on to. And they're totally cool with that. And then at the end you go to this like pond and you wash them. And so it's like they could kill you any

You know? So it's like it's a relationship and it's not they're not prisoners and they're not abused at all. The people that are running this the place that I went to, but even then I did a video with it and I said, you know, I you could ride them. I go, I rode'em, but I don't I would never do it. I would never ride them again'cause it just feels fucked up. I would rather just feed them and pet'em and say you're nice. to the job.

Yeah, but also like you wrote'em. I did. So like if you if you hadn't rode'em, you'd be like, I've never ridden an elephant. I wouldn't have done it at all if my family didn't want to do it. They wanted to do it. So I said, Okay, let's go. And they enjoyed it. It was a good experience. You know, the kids are l they're little and we're taking'em through Thailand and wild. Wonder sometimes if these kids I was talking to Tommy about it. Uh like if they'll know later in life.

how cool their experience was. Like it'll be till like the thirty five or forty, like, Oh, I had a great child. I didn't understand of the cool things I did. Yeah. Um but Anyway they had these ti these hippies would go over the encamp and pick out mushrooms from elephant patties. And then eventually the people the herders were like, Why do these fucking dreadlock people keep coming in?

at night and s like sniffing around our shit. And then they realize what it was and they go, Oh, no, no, no, we'll sell this. Oh so they sell it. Is it illegal in Thailand? Like what is the legality of mushrooms? Now I don't know'cause I think they just legalized weed in Thailand. Did they really? But it back then when it was illegal. There were bars that sold your joints and those are the bars that paid the cops. And so uh for all intents and purposes, you're fine.

Bro, I would not fuck around with drugs in another country. Lame. Yeah, me. That's me. I mean, talk to Brittany Greiner. How'd that work out? Not good. Do you think when she was in jail the r the guards would fuck with her and show videos of her missing? Like, how come you miss? How come you miss this shot? You smoke too much weed, you miss this shot. She was in jail for a long fucking She was in jail for a while. I think she was in jail for like wasn't it like six months or something like that?

I knew someone who worked at the um r the agency she was at. Sports Management Agency. Every day they started with fifteen minutes of like, Hey, before we get into anyone else's business, how are we getting her out? Almost a fucking year in jail in Russia. That's crazy for Nine years in a penal colony. That was a fun one because they just told America, like, hey guys, keep quiet. We can get her out. She's a nothing asset. Just everyone be quiet. And the the liberal

angry, you know, housewives like, no, I want to say something. And they all just kept talking. And eventually it's like Russia's like, oh is this an important one? Oh really? Oh, we'll keep her in. Is that what happened? Yeah I think so. I think it was Biden was like just shut up. We'll get her out to shut up. And they made Bigger thing. So that they could get the Merchant of Death release.

We are the worst at hand Americans are so bad at at handling things they don't know how to handle. They just rush in full bore going, I know how to fix it with no knowledge of it. Well it's also once a story gets out in any form, influencers cannot help. Talk about it. It's their currency. There's no way they're not going to talk.

Same as all the late night guys. They knew after Trump won that like talking about him helps him. Before we said we're trying to take him down, but now we've seen the research. We know it's helping him. I'm still gonna do it'cause it's my money. Yeah. Yeah. People they can't help it. They can't help it. Yeah. I mean that's like CNN's most of their ratings were talking shit about Trump.

Like every time he did something outrageous they would they would talk shit about him and they would have him on and it just made him more and more popular because I don't think they understood how much America's dys Americans despised them. You know, they thought we're CNN. We are the news. We're CNN and then because the fact that Trump was opposed to them th and they were they just kept showing him, they're like, Oh, he must be good'cause you guys suck.

Right. You ever hear the theory that uh terrorism and the US are symbiotic? What's the theory? How's it work? Terrorism can't exist without the US dominating their country. And and the US they can't keep funneling money to weapons without terror. Well US and Israel. I mean that's the thing Sure, sure, sure. Hamas and and uh Netanyahu, he famously said they were funding Hamas. We need them. We n we we we we when we fund Hamas we can control the height of the flame.

Or nine eleven, like it's yeah, it popped off a little high, but there was like it's we need something to be like, Hey, we're all against that. And then that those countries will be like, Look, they're all against us. So it's just like they need each other to keep growing. Well, it makes sense. And also you need an enemy in order to get higher military contracts, higher budgets. I mean if you don't have terrorism, how can you justify a trillion dollar military

So you need to like say, hey, they're a real threat. Like that's a thirty person group. Yeah. They're not coming for us, but like we gotta take them down. Look at the training they're doing. You ever seen Shane's bit? They're on monkey bars doing the training. I love that bit. I love that bit about how bad they are at jumping jacks. It's what your fat people do to get in shape of the biggest loser. And they're stuck over there. Like shut up. Ja.

They're not going over there. It's and then I always wondered why we left behind all the shit. Like cynically But not enough. Leave that stuff behind so that they could use it. The older I get the less I think there's accidents. There's aneptitude for sure, but there's also like We've done the research, we know. At some point you know there's bad moves you make here or there, but

We left behind tanks and Black Hawk helicopters. Like what, we couldn't get those out? We had to leave right now. What we were there for twenty years. Also we gotta get out right away. You don't want to put a grenade in each one first before you go? Like what what do you mean? Yeah. And also, those are still good? Yeah, we didn't get out like Vietnam.

Park em in a field and drop a fucking bomb on it. Yeah. You don't have to leave it there for the enemy. It's it's for the Taliban so they can keep the people under their thumb for it. Yeah, th they didn't have to leave the when they le the way they left was insane. When you see those

Those ships that are the the planes that are flying away and people are hanging on to the wheels of the plane and falling off'cause they don't want to be left behind. Because I know so many people that work with the Americans. You said you'd protect us over and over again, and then you're like, Yeah, we've done this over and over again. We'll just say it. It says that we it was uh equipment we gave to the Afghan state. And had it already given over to them?

We gave it to the Afghan state but not the Taliban. The national defense and security forces. Right. And then it there was not that many of them. And so the moment that we left, the Taliban just took everything. There's also like what is the Taliban? We have this word on it. It's like an evil word, but are they just like the government in a lot of these places? Like the cartels in in Colombia, they like build schools, they do bad shit, but they also are the government.

They make sure the businesses run okay. Mm-hmm. And so you have this idea of cartel, it sounds like that, but it's like it's more than that. I wonder how much of the Taliban is all actually into terrorism and how much is like just running day to day stuff. Well that's a good point because in America, I mean, what are the pharmaceutical drug hubs?

I mean how many people have d we we talked about this the other day. It's like seventy thousand people died of opioid overdoses in America in twenty twenty four. Seventy Seven. twenty thousand. So like and a lot of that is probably cartel fentanyl, but a lot of it is like p flat out old school oxycodone. So it's like what are they? What are they and how much are they?

Two nine eleven campaigns. Every year. Right. But they do you saw what the most effective thing of that Sackler with Ferris Bueller, that documentary series or whatever Yeah, painkiller. Is they started every episode with a real person talking about how their son is dead. Yeah. Or you know, something like that. Yeah. And and then they c and you're like, Oh my god, this makes it so real. Yeah. Painkiller, that's what it's called. Yeah. It was so good.

That's Peter Berg's. Yeah. We talked about that the other day. It's a amazing series. Amazing series. Like that Broderick played such a good fucking creep. He did such a good job. God, that fucking that show's so disturbing'cause it's based on true story. And you show a guy falling into the despair from being fine to just like Oh, we all know somebody. Oh, God. Heart. Mm-hmm.

I I I mean it's so potent. It's so powerful. And they told doctors, they told people, they told everybody that it wasn't even addictive. They knew it was addictive. They knew it it operated on the same pat I mean, that's in the painkiller series. Yeah. That it operates on the same pathway as heroin. Like you're saying that this is not addictive. This is a lie. Yeah, the what they did there was go i if that movie is completely accurate, it's like

Okay, so this is for heavily cancerous, like bedridden people that have a pain threshold of eight to ten. Like it'll be good for them. Why don't we just extend the pain threshold to three to ten? Yeah. And that allows a lot more people in. If you're at a nine, it doesn't matter if I get addicted. My life is awful right now. Right. If you're at a three, like walk it off. Exactly. I talked about when I got my nose fixed when the doctor tried to give me two different opening. Then I was like.

Like I'm I it was nothing. I mean, it didn't even hurt. It was just mildly uncomfortable. And that was also because it was stuffed up with gauze, like those it wasn't even gauze, like these foam things with a tube that they stuff in your nose to keep your nostrils open while it's healing. But it you know, he gave me two different opiates and I was like, Is it gonna get worse than this? 'Cause I don't fine.

Yeah, they don't tell you but be careful I would not take it unless you absolutely need it. No Don't tell you any of that. They want you to do it because they're financially incentivized. I got a wisdom tooth out and uh the dentist. Was like um I was like, Hey, I don't want to like Why'd you get a wisdom tooth out? Did it hurt? I don't remember. It was so long ago. Yeah. It was like eight fifteen, eighteen years ago.

What's the what's the logic on that? Are you supposed to get wisdom teeth taken out? I'm both out. 'Cause I've had people sa I've heard people say you shouldn't. Like there's no reason. Yeah, why do you then? Are they getting pacted or something? I don't know. They're growing in wrong.

It had to be that. But he he gave me this thing of Vicadin. I was like, I don't want and he goes, You're friends with comedians, right? And I was like, Yeah he goes your your friends will want it. Whatever you don't need. What the whatever you don't need. I'm sure you can find He was joking around, but he was right. I have tons of attic friends. They they are all like nice. Yeah. Advising me to take aspirin, not use up one of those precious

I took that stuff once when I had my first ACL reconstruction. And it was it made me so stupid. I think it was Vicanin. It was either Vikonin or Percocet. I can't remember, but I think it was Viking. But I wound up selling it at the pool hall. Yeah, sell it, get some money. Yeah. Yeah, do those right thing. The only time I would advise taking Viking is if you have like two beers. And really want a good night. Really? Oh yeah. Those go so well with with liquor.

Is Vicodin an opiate? Is it uh the same thing as oxycodone? Like what is Vicodin? It's a downer. I don't know what Oxa does. It's a it com yeah, it it combines hydrocodone and Tylenol. Uh Oh, Tylenol. Tylenol and hydrocodon. Yeah. Nice one, Joe. Yeah. Yeah. I was reading this sad story once about this lady who w she had COVID and she was in so much pain from COVID that she kept taking Tylenol and she died of a fucking liver failure. Because the tile the Camenophen killed her liver.

Sometimes you see people dying and you're like, What a loser way to die. You can't ever tell anybody there's no victimhood. Aspirin overdose. Dork. That's crazy. How much aspirin do you have to take before you die? That seems nuts. I feel like all these middle school girls would try it before they had access to stuff. Really? When they just want to be drama queens, like I took a whole bottle of asthma. Oh yeah. Oh I knew a girl who did exactly that thing. Uh exactly that.

Yeah, she took a. But it's like that's not gonna do it, but uh your call for attention is there. Yeah like let me tell you how to actually do it. Big tits and she fucked everybody. She was nuts. And I'll accept it. She fucked everybody. She was an animal. Catholic schoolgirl. What? Typed in Tylenol deaths and this thing came up, the Chicago Tylenol murder. It seems like it's an unspeakable. Temperance. Yeah, there was tampered Tylenol that people bought. Potassium cyanide, seven people.

Yeah, they broke that's when they start that's when they start doing the seal on top. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah. I remember this. I remember this. This is when I was in high school. Do they know why? I wonder what the conspiracy is. Someone recently. No so spec has been a little bit more than that. Whoa. So a bunch of people died and they just got away with it. Yeah.

If I remember right, they said they said we found out the in the problem with one plant that had whatever and we've we've got and someone else is like, Well, okay, I bought this. bottled before that happened, so this should be safe. And then it wasn't. And then it was like Tylenol or whatever was like covering up how bad it got. Instead of going recall everything. Estimated thirty one million bottles were in circulation with a retail value of over one hundred million dollars.

Equivalent to three hundred thirty four million in twenty twenty five. The company also advertised in the national media for individuals not to consume any of its products that contained acetametophen after it was determined that only these capsules had been tampered with. Wow. So that's probably one of those things too. There's copycats, right? Like one person hears about someone buying poison Tylenols and they Yeah, I wanna poison people in Ohio. I wanna poison yeah. Fucking hacks. Yeah.

Just be original. Be awful evil, but be original. There's so many of those, like the Tylenol, we're like, wait, were you guys evilly covering this up and resulting in more deaths? that that I found out down there was like Coca-Cola, Dole were like, oh, these are like evil corporations. As soon as they realize that they're you know the Pinto story? Uh uh. Oh yeah. Research this to make sure this is true.

Brought it up on the podcast. They're blowing up. And they realize it's cheaper to just pay people off that died from their car being blown up than it is to recall all these Ford Pintos. Because the Pinto had like the gas station the gas tank rather was in the back. Yeah, something like that. Something about the design where if you got rear ended it would blow up. And it was just she did a dollar value on it.

Yeah. Somebody did. I wanna say for I wanna s you know, you say for it, but really it's a person. It's it's not the Ford of today. It's some guy. Cool car. Yeah, investigators and lawsuits showed that pre-production crass tests had already revealed this vulnerability, but the car still went to market largely unchanged. Yeah. Who told us about this? I kinda remember that. So one of our guests explained that to us and it was just like oh God. Whoa.

So dark. It's such a fucking dark, evil thing to do to say, well, people are gonna die, but we'll just pay them. What's the number? Yeah, what is the number? Why'd you make it in the first place? Fuck. No. It's got that sun sun deck in the back. Yeah. So Coca Cola would have people just like if you were like a leftist leader running for whatever, they were worried that

If that person got in power, they would unionize their population and that would cost them more money in the plants. Mm-hmm. And they would just have people straight killed. Straight up mur get him out of the way. Had people whacked. Dole used to be the American fruit company. Coke and a smile? They had people waxing. J mean look it up. It's probably an executive somewhere. Get into a big

House of Card style who had some guy who was a a fixer for him. Right. And he's like, Look, these motherfuckers are causing problems. And this guy was concerned with his job as whatever CEO, executive. But it's happened over a long period of time. They were giving money to I think FARC or something in Columbia after they were already labeled like a terrorist organization. They're still giving them money.

For decades, Coca Cola has faced several o severe allegations regarding the murder and intimidation of union leaders at bottling plants in Colombia and Guatemala. They hired paramilitary death squads to suppress labor activism. That's like, oh, what? They they want an honest like day's pay? Get rid of him. You know, do you remember when Ross Perot was running for president? I barely remember but sort of.

just starting to be aware of how fucked up politics were. And because he was on television explaining about the World Trade Organization, about when they were going to um Start opening up plants in Mexico and moving jobs to Mexico. He's like, What you' what you're gonna hear is a giant sucking sound. Where all the money and jobs are gonna go down to Mexico. And what we d allowed during that time was essentially what the labor unions were doing in this country.

was making sure that people had a a great wage because the corporations were getting paid well. So the CEOs wanted all the money like they always do. The corporation wanted all the money. But you really can't make a Mustang unless you have the people that are on the assembly line, unless you have the people that are doing all the hard labor and all the work. And they should get compensated correctly. And so the auto w auto union's workers organized it.

And they went on strike and they did the they did what they had to do. And they were making a great living. They're making a great living and these people had a nice house and they had a car and a garage and it felt good that they were getting paid really well. And so a lot of people thought, well, they're getting paid too well.

And this is fucking up our profits. And so what and I'm simplifying this if you're Take ten bucks from a million people instead of like the top guys make a million What they did is just open up a plant in Mexico and pay people fucking slave labor. And they go over there and they pay'em slave wages and these people are making cars for like fucking how much? A dollar a day or something like that. Instead of getting health care and retirement. And and you know and so

That's what we're talking about. The free market says go to Mexico. The moral market says no, no, no, no, no. Hold on, let's just pay people what they deserve here. It is not just that, but they destroyed Detroit. That's right. That's Roger and me, that documentary. Michael Moore's greatest documentary is all his first one is his best one. Because it it's really documenting an horrific

attack on Detroit and and Flint, Michigan, and all those places up there where there's all these auto plants and they all just went away, man. And those jobs went away and now Detroit is Detroit's kind of bouncing back. It's kind of back. Danny was talking about at Brown where he was like just before COVID it was like starting to be like some cool new restaurants and like really coming back, then covet kind of nailed it down again and now it's I think back back going back up again.

some cool stuff in there. I mean there's there's a bunch of companies that are like proudly like made in Detroit Underrated P. The Troy Pizza. Oh really? Square. Yeah, it's really good. Square. Interesting. Yeah, crispy like on every bite, every slice. Oh okay. 'Cause it's not thick crust square, it's like that thin crust square. It's just really good. Isn't it funny that we want it in a circle? I want it in a circle. Why? I don't know.

It's weird. You get committed to it. Like we don't get committed to that with a sandwich. Like if I go to a Jewish deli and I get a square sandwich, I don't say, No, I wanna look a home I want it to look like a submarine. Doesn't look right. You know, like no one cares. No one cares. The shape. No. But it's a really good sandwich. But some people do. Like if you give them a cheeseburger but it's on bread, they're like what is this? Bullshit. Square bullshit. I want a round bun, motherfucker.

Yeah. Where is this? Rye bread is for pastrami. Is my name Ruben? Then why you give me something like looks like a fucking Ruben? Like if you buy an Italian sandwich, it has to come out a big old fucking hoagie roll. A ciabatta. You know, one of those big fucking seated Yeah, that's what you want. Break. It's weird that we want our pizza to only be circled.

What's weird too is you're not eating it in the round version. Right. You're eating it in this weird triangle. Right. You're eating in the right. Just an edge of round. That edge could be You know what I've seen that deeply disturbs me? Oh no. When tee people take a circular pizza and then they chop it up into a bunch of squares, I'm like, what have you done? That's the Really? That's what it's called. Or pub style. Oh okay.

That makes kinda sense, but not for a Bring one pizza into the bar and I'll fucking ten. I guess the only other way is to make slices like that thin. Like real thin, like long, but that's not fun. We also have the edge. How How many pizzas has Dave Portnoy sold? If you really stop and think about it. Dave Portnoy is probably responsible for more pizza sales in this country than any other living human being. Probably. Yeah,'cause I watch his pizza reviews, I wanna go b get a pizza.

He gives it to be honest. Yeah. He really loves pizza too. Like th you could tell. Like this is a he's not making any money off of that. No, he's really not. No, it's a labor of love. He likes it. It's fun for him and it's become a thing. And he and he gets in arguments with pizza pi places sometimes, like they yell at him, yells at them. You can't film it here. It's like fuck you. Yeah. Really kind of crazy. That's so great.

But I've I've gone to places because he recommended him. Like if I'm I find out that I'm in a town and I know that there's pizza there, I'm like, what does Portnoy think? Yeah. No one's done that with anything else. Like what other celebrities done that with any other kind of food where they go places and review it? There's a guy in New York, not a celebrity, but he was his goal was to search out every single slice in New York. It took him years and then named the best one.

Boy, how would you know? How you gonna compare a slice to a slice you had a year ago? Right. I guess you gotta re Yeah, you really gotta know. How are you gonna know? You can instantly go, No. But yeah, anything that's good, you gotta go back and forth. Plus it's super subjective. Obviously. You gotta go chase No but you gotta prepare cheese to choose. Right. Which is a classic. It's so good. I mean, other pizzas are great, but man, a really good plain cheese pizza is fucking phenomenal.

Yeah. Especially if it's done well. Fresh out here's the secret too if you're in New York. Underrated tip. I told Ruddy this, he's going to New York. Fat guy. So he's gonna wanna like get some tips. I was like, no matter what you were gonna get, just say, Do you have anything fresh coming out? And they say it's gonna be like ten more minutes, so it's okay, I'll wait. That's what you want. When you go to Krispy Kreamer, they got the served the hot donuts where they're coming out hot.

The lights on. When that lights on, if I'm thinking about having it when I used to live in LA, yeah, there was a Krispy Kreme down the street, like it was on the way home. And if I drive by if that fucking hot the hot light was on, I'm like, I'm pulling in. Yeah. I'm getting a hot one. So much better than warmed up. Like when they come right out in the glazed ones that are coming right out hot, they they just dissolve in your mouth. Yep, right there. Yeah. And good for you.

Oh yeah. It's better than better than vitamins. Look at that. It it uh cures diabetes. You have all dough and you're like let's put su with sugar in it. Like let's put sugar sugar on top. I remember I would eat them and then I'd go back to my house and I'd go, What was what's wrong with you? Why did you do this? The fuck is wrong with you? We've all been there. What's wrong with you?

feels so bad.'Cause I would eat like a half a dozen too. I'd eat like six donuts. I'd get uh I'd g I always buy like a box and I'd eat half the box. I'd buy like a box of a dozen and I'd buy like Chocolate cream fills and all the different ones and I eat like six of them in my car on my way home. Yeah. Just poison. An adult has learned nothing about his body. Thirty nine years old. Sitting on the couch.

When you have that after twenty three years old, you're like what when you're hurting it like I just have to let this pass, I have to do this like for an hour. You're like, what a fucking loser. You had a fucking loser. Yeah. You ate yourself into feeling bad. Drinking I get. It sneaks up on you. I eat when if I go to New York every time I go to New York I eat myself into a coma. I eat myself way too just way too fat. I get hurting like where my stomach stretched out so much it hurts.

'Cause I've got so much food in there I really can't fit any more food. And I look pregnant, my stomach sticks. Oh. It looks so awful. And it's all swollen and bloated'cause it's all the pasta and bread. It's all the water and the wines. Think straight. Your body's like bring everything into the stomach right now. Yeah. You have no like if I had to pass a spelling bee, I'd I'm fucked. My IQ dips by like forty points.

Yeah, it's uh it's terrible. I'm a glutton too. I'm a br I have a real problem with like volume. I just when I start eating I'm like a dog. I just keep eating. I just can't stop. Like I'm good at not eating. Like I can not eat for like twelve Sixty night. hours. But when I sit down for a meal I just or when I'm ordering. I think it comes from being poor when I was a kid too.

So it's like there's something about like wanting uh everything. I want it all. I want steak, I want pasta, I want this, I want that, I want that, and this And then after you're like you never learn, you fucking idiot. Yeah, and you you're like you're like I've had about enough and then you're like one more bite and then you're like and now if we're talking like I'm gonna eat like two more full plates worth as we're talking.

I remember we were in Atlanta once. This has happened more than once, but this one lady in Atlanta was like almost arguing with Yeah, we went to a diner in Atlanta after our show and th this I ordered two things. I ordered like meatloaf and I ordered a steak. And she's like, Oh honey, that's too much food. I go, No, it's not. I go, I'm gonna eat it all. And she's like that is too much food. I go, You don't know m you don't know me. I don't know. When it's time for you to eat, you'll eat.

Especially also after shows, dude. Do you do fucking long ass shows? I brought you and Goldie once a a hot dog. I was just like it was I was doing the early days of yours. Well not early, but like mid level days and then high level days. So I remember having more access than anyone could really get any more. When the camera was on you and Duncan so you guys made out. We were born. They timed it. So we noticed we noticed the camera was sitting right behind you.

So the way they could see the monitor, so they were sitting behind me so they knew what the camera was catching. So we're on that camera. They waited and then it's And in the middle, so there's the camera's on. He died. Oh my god, this is the early early days. This is probably like 2002 or something like that. That was way back in the day.

So Duck was being accused of being an Illuminati a lot then. So he goes, Oh, there's a camera, I mean I gotta do this thing. He goes, What? He goes, It's just to stoke the flames, so he'll just do this, he'll do triangles. At some point we made a big triangle with both our hands. And then I think he said it. I don't know. It doesn't matter. One of us said it, the other reacted. Well, hey, next time we got a kiss, and it was like. Fuck. I'm pretty sure.

God damn it, yeah, you're right, we do. It was like this is gonna be awful, but you have to. Laughter was over. People like your friends were kissing on camera. I I literally couldn't breathe. I was like, Oh my god, oh my god I go, Show it to me, show it to me I like made the guys in the truck show me the video of it. I'm like, Oh my god, this is so funny.

There was also like a wrestling moment or it was there was a lot of wrestling in that fight, if I remember right. It's a long time ago. But there was a blog saying from like a an M M A blog saying Two bored bearded dudes make out during uh during a UFC fight. You give a comic a camera on you and we're like, let's go, we gotta do something. Especially like you have six hours.

Hours of fights. So there's all this time to think. And they're not all exciting. No some of them are fucking boring. And when they're boring, you gotta come up with different ways to entertain yourself. Yeah. What you gonna do? I yeah. It was so fun. You could see the one that was on it. So like when those fighters are in front of us. I'm gonna fix it. It wants to work. I wonder if this one works. That was back when the UFC was like no one was watching anyway.

You could just do whatever you want. The weigh-ins was the best. We had a weigh-in in Florida and it was just like only the camps kind of came in. Mm-hmm. And the tap out guys, rest in peace. They w they'd come in there, or just one rest in peace. Yeah. Live well. Um Uh it was just like you'd be in there and I remember once you were like, Hey Aur, maybe I'll call you up to weigh way You just could. And be like, You wanna go now? All right. It was like No one knew what was going on. Marie Shafir.

And you would just walk out. Yeah. Yeah, you could do anything back then. And that was also a real way in. That was when the guys actually would get on the scale. Now it's a ceremonial way in. Oh really? Yeah, because now the they weigh in in advance because they wanna give'em more time to recover. Oh right. The whole thing's gross. They shouldn't be weighing in and they shouldn't be cutting weight As a casual fan, it's the most obvious one. Make him weigh in at the at the event.

It's crazy. I mean, we've had long discussions. I had a discussion recently with Hunter Campbell where we're trying to figure out a way to blow up all the weight classes and make people fight out what their actual weight is. But you'd have to like show up in camp like, you know Get to the right exact right way. Pound or two below to for safety. But it would have to be random. Like they couldn't know you were coming. Oh like oh the whole way through it has to be it that way.

How the fuck are you one eighty five? It's dumb because you're not actually you're you're it's like having field goals decide like an NFL game. It's like this is not this is like a minor part of the sport. Right. So that's like you're having a 185 or found again against a one sixty pound. So you're not actually saying who's best at your class. Uh in the elite levels, they're all doing it. So it's everybody's cheating. It's sanctioned cheating. It's not cheating because it's legal.

It's rewarding guys who know how to cut better than guys who don't, and as a casual fan, that's not what we're into. Very biological. So some people can cut weight very easily, and to some people it's a fucking grind. And it's way more of a grind for women. Women hold on to that water weight a lot harder than men do. So when a woman has to lose like a woman has to cut like It's yeah man, they cut weight. But apparently it's way more brutal for them.

Yeah. It's fucking terrible. They should they should it should have never been in there in the first place and they should figure out a way to get What do they do in high school wrestling when people fight like one twelve? That's just your weight or do you You weigh in the day. Right. The weigh in the day up. But it's still you're still cutting weight. I I weighed I used to wrestle at one twenty eight and then I wrestled I mean a high school.

And then uh one thirty four. And then I'cause I couldn't really make one twenty eight anymore and then when I started fighting in Taekwondo I fought my first fights were at one forty. That was when I was like fifteen, sixteen. And then by I my last fight at one forty I was seventeen and I was not one forty. And I was starving myself and I was cutting a bunch of water weight and then I would fight dehydrate. Like fighters.

I only did it one year. I only did it one year and then I went up to one fifty five, which was much better. That was easy because I didn't have to cut anyway and I was way better. But that thing where they do in wrestling, you're not getting hit in the head in wrestling. Right. So it will deplete you. And so you have to make a decision like how much am I gonna be depleted and wanna be the the size bully and have a bigger frame and utilize it but have depleted performance, like how much

How good a shape would I have to be in where that depletion only takes out a certain percentage of my ability? And so it's like this calculated thing. Like Kurt Engel, for example. Kurt Engel, when he was Olympic gold medalist, he didn't cut any weight. And he was a phenomenal wrestler. Kurt Engle was a fucking monster, and he was beating guys way bigger than him. But he had so much energy because he didn't cut weight.

And so he was wrestling against guys that did cut weight and he was dominating them. Full strength. They were bigger than him, but he had incredible skill, also strong as fuck anyway, and had no depletion of his resources. Like his body was working at full capacity. It's like Greg Fitzsimmons is in the prime. He would just fight anybody. Greg Fitzsimmons He would just fight anybody. Oh, tiny little man. attacked on stage at Stitches. And uh We all gotta rush.

attacked him and they they fucking some brawl broke out and they the the bouncers got in they take the guy away and then Greg gets on the microphone, didn't even end the show, gets on the microphone and goes, Anybody else want some of this? And then It was great. He finished his second. Wow. He's great composure. Kept it together. Finished his set. Fucking fun dude. Wow. Yeah.

But they should they they really should ban weight cutting. But the only way they're really ever gonna be able to do that is to make more weight classes. There's not enough weight classes. And then you'll have the what? I don't understand. I think boxing has Don't you have Don't you have like some like who cares weight classes? Yeah sorta. And if you really want to get known you gotta move up or down to like one of the majors.

Well you know what's weird? Like one sixty's a huge weight class. One forty seven, huge w welter weight, huge weight class, big giant fights. Cruiserweight? Which is like between light heavyweight and heavyweight, no one gives a fuck about. Why?

It's weird. It's just weird. Like nobody gives a shit about the cruiserweight champion. Like Usik, before he became the heavyweight champion, was the cruiserweight champion and people cared about him just because he was so skillful. But he had to go up to heavyweight before people cared. But if he was a light heavyweight, he would have been here. It's weird.

Very weird. But I think boxing how many weight classes does boxing have, professional boxing? I wanna say there's eighteen. Whereas in the UFC there's only eight. It's a big difference. It's a big difference. You can and then you can follow champions better. Yeah. Aber es ist auch...

Even when Mighty Mouse came in, it was like You have this dominant guy coming in to to really launch the weight class, but people are like, We don't know this weight class, so we're less interested in you than we should be. People have a thing about tiny people. They look at a small guy who's like five three and weighs a hundred and twenty five pounds and like nah. We don't care. Seventeen.

Seventeen. Red Ben said the one thirty fivers and one twenty fivers they should have to come into the octagon on little mini horses and ride ride around a couple of times. That's so rude. Ha ha. And so well w what's also interesting is like flyweight women like Valentina Shevchenko, it's one of the premier weight classes in the women's day. 'Cause that's heavy? For a woman it's like normal size. Or you know, one hundred seventy. Weird, Yeah.

It's weird. But there's not enough weight classes and they should have fixed that a long There's there's giant gaps like the gap between 185, which is uh middleweight, and then two hundred five, which is light heavyweight. That's crazy. Yeah. Giant leak. Everything else. Well not even stupid. Yeah. You get to we heavyweight at two sixty five. That's the cutoff for heavyweight. So you have to weigh two sixty five or under. But it's my favorite way on'cause they're still wearing their jeans.

Like they don't really they're like, I'm inside a range. Yeah. Yeah. They don't give a fuck. But the the so ceremonial weigh ins is what we have now. So when someone weighs in now, they've already weighed in in the morning in an official scale in front of, you know, doctors and state reps. They're not going to be able to do And so then they just suck a bunch of water down and electrolytes and they slowly rehydrate. Five hours. The science is so crazy behind it. Wow.

Officially? Seventeen thirty eight. Whoa. Weighing as much as they want. So heavyweight was weighed they weighed one sixty plus Since the division is no. Yeah, people are tiny by that. Oh yeah. Rocky. He weighed 185 pounds. So Rocky Marciano, the heavyweight champion of the world, one of the greatest of all time, weighed fifteen pounds less than me. Wow. Yeah. Isn't that nuts?

So different. If you ever look back at a fat guy from like Chris Farley types or whatever and you're like You're not even you're just a little big. Yeah. Yeah. There's Simone body. Look at that. These guys back then where they wore diapers and shit. Like what's that what are you wearing? What's that thing around your waist? Is that? It's a wave of blood. And they all fought bare knuckle back then too. Quick fights. Well they just broke their hands a lot.

They had a they threw a lot of punches to the body back then because they didn't want to break their hands on people's heads. That was the biggest defense back then, the Brian Denih thing where you lower your head and make him punch you on the head and break.

Lower your head. And the they all boxed like this too. Where they would throw their knuckles out like that. Because if you just blast someone, you could blast someone like that if you have gloves on and hand Stockton slap would have gone a long way back then. Oh yeah, they would have been legendary. It's uh it's funny how things change and then how they go back to it'cause now bare knuckle boxing is making a Yeah. See chess boxing?

I have seen that. It's ridiculous. It's pretty fun. Beat the shit out of each other and then play chat. Five minutes. We if you're a good boxer, like you have a massive advantage. The guy just got a concussion. He doesn't even know what the night does. He's like, uh like you can't move that. I'm like, uh fuck. Whose idea that was? What kind of fucking psychopath? Who wants to combine those things? Yeah.

You you m you it'd have to be people that aren't that good at boxing and aren't that good at chess.'Cause if somebody flatlines you and sends you to the hospital, you're not playing chess afterwards. So it has to be people that kind of suck at boxing. Because if you really Mike Tyson somebody, you fucking KO'em and they have to get carried out in a stretcher. Well then you by fault won by default won the chest t as well,'cause they can't even play. Yeah, just dusty boards.

How how are they gonna play chess? I don't even understand the rules there. You have to have a minimum of eighteen hundred in chest to be a competitor. What is that? What's eighteen hundred? Is that a score? What does that mean? The scores in check? Like a golf handicap. Wow. So what is like Magnus Carlson, the guy that was on the podcast, what does he have? What's his rate? Yeah. It doesn't mean it's tough. Five smart players. Yeah, he's a math guy.

He's one of those dudes you talk to him. Like there's some guys you talk to him like oh there's a lot working on behind those eyes. So like so if you were high around that guy, you'd probably get weirded out. Like oh. You're an alien. He's uh t twenty eight forty. Wow. Way better. What is the highest ranked chess player alive to Oh really? Peaked at twenty eight eighty two, the highest in That is crazy. Wow. What about that schizo Jew turned Arab, whatever his name is?

The the the fucking boy. The boy who wants to get so. Schizo Jew turned Arab. Yeah, wasn't there somebody? Bobby Fisher's Are you? Translate it. Oh yeah, he became like very anti Semitic. I don't know. Very close. So Magnus is better than him. I mean, if Magnus Yeah, man. Oh, okay. He's a fucking super genius. So what happened with Bobby Fisher? Bobby Fisher? Yeah, it's based off of like who you're playing, when you're playing them and how like, you know, good they are at the time.

It's like golf. It's like who's in the tournament. Mm. Yeah, but that happens like Pool has ratings. They have a Fargo rating. And e they d they also do it per game. Like I was there's this guy, he he just died recently. Uh, Chang Junglin and he's this dude from um from Taiwan and he played at a thousand. A thousand was his w for one game. F not for one game, excuse me, for like one match. What would he have to give? to you or to me. Oh it would be pointless. Just as soon as you never missed.

Like make a ball and you win. There's another guy, this guy who's also from Taiwan, um, Ko Ping Chung, and he played an entire match where he never missed a ball. He won eleven to nothing against another world class player. Get who lost a coin flip to start and then He lost their lag. They lag and I think He broke and left a long shot on the one ball, and the guy missed that and he never made a ball. Not he didn't make one ball the entire every the And winner goes first. Winner goes first, yeah.

There it was a couple t was w winter breaks. So every time he broke he and he was making the one ball on the side like every game. And every time he didn't have a shot, he would just play a lock up safety. And the guy would kick and then leave a shot and then he would run out again. He would just he got just got in the zone. So he played at a one thousand Fargo for the entire match. That's crazy. That means he never missed a ball on four inch pockets. Oh, really? Tiny little pockets.

It's amazing how big pool is too across the world and billiards too. Asia's huge Did you find people with just an overhang just so it doesn't get wet? And they're all out there playing and and just like flip flops and Well, we're losing a lot of the top uh Taiwanese and Chinese players to a game that they play in China now.

where it's like a snooker table. It doesn't look like a pool table. Like the the pockets aren't cut the same way. They're rounded. But they're playing nine ball and they're playing with like purses for like Top top person's like six hundred thousand dollars for a tournament, seven hundred thousand so they're all going over there and playing in that. Because you can make millions in a year instead of a couple hundred grand, which is like what the best players make in a yeah.

America to play basketball. Until now. Yeah. Well just don't bring weed. I mean it's just uh I mean just don't bring weed. But also, I think they were all doing it. Basketball a lot, apparent I'm not a basketball player, clearly. But l You couldn't keep score. Yeah. All right. That's a good reference.

Yeah, yeah. Um but weed apparently is phenomenal for basketball players. Like they all talk about it. Like I've talked to basketball players about weed. They say I can play way better when I'm high. Well they had the collective bargaining, not a late one, but like this twenty years ago and they're like, We can test for drugs but th they fought back, they go, Not weed. So if you get caught with weed, sure you can suspend us, but you can't test for it. Because why? We're all doing it.

Yeah, they're all doing it and it helps the game. Like it helps their their feet it helps pool for sure. Oh, I'd imagine you read people's tells. Yeah. Uh according to World Snooker Tour figures, more than twenty four point five million unique viewers watched the third session. of the final alone in China and during the whole twenty twenty five tournament, it had a cumulative audience of one hundred and eighty million in national broadcasters. That's like a NFL.

playoff. Twenty four million watch the finals of this. What's what's it's like a billion for Super Bowl, right? But like a playoff game. But that's snooker or like the English call it snooker. So snooker is very different and it's on a twelve foot table. It's a huge table. And the balls are very small and they don't have numbers on them. It's just like

Red, black, pink. It's mostly red. There's red that's in the stack. And then you have black, pink, brown. And I think there's another one. I've never played the game. I fucked around with it when I was in Scotland. They had a table and I was like shooting balls on it. It's interesting. In Columbia they all play this thing and it's the same.

Yeah, and it's the they they take their cue and move a s a thing over, like a scorer over and they keep playing and move one over. And they're all playing it and they're just kinda casual bars, but it's like twenty tables and they're every And this is where there's no holes in the table, right? Yeah. That's called three cushioned billiards. I'd sit there and watch and drink. It's a fun game. I don't know how to play it really well. Strategy. Well it's

It's really underst it is definitely strategy, but it's really understanding angles. It's understanding how to kick. and how to like w by when I say kick, what I mean is like go off a rail and hit another rail and then collide with the ball. So three cushioned billiards is you have three balls on the table. That's it. And so you have the the whole table

It's like a big ass pool table, but there's no pockets and you have three balls. And so what you have to do is hit one ball and then go three rails at least, three cushions, and then hit the second ball. Then hit another ball or But also put yourself in a position where then you can make another shot afterwards.

It's a complicated game and it's different because it's a lot of its spin and the harder you hit it the shorter the angle is and if you hit it with English y it spins out wider or shorter depending upon what you're trying to do with it. And it it's a re but if you get good at it, it really will help your pool game because you'll really have a much more deep understanding of how the ball moves around the table with different speed and side spin and

All that kind of shit. I've n I've only fucked around with it though. And then not in a long time. I we we had a table at Executive Billiards in White Plains. We used to have a one three cushioned table. Or just play for for for laughs. I couldn't do it. It was just I wanna see the balls go away. to hear that. Fireball in. I want to see it go down that hole. Bye bye. I want to clear it out. I don't want balls lingering just staring at me like do it again. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again.

Do it again. It's funny that that became a bar sport. It's really just darts and that became the sports at bars. Sure. And and the table takes up a lot more space. The dart board. Yeah. Dartboard, sure, but that pool table, you need like some actual space. Yeah. And that space is totally not usable other than that. It's that's where it is. Unless a girl's dancing on it. Yeah. I went to a I went to a there's this like pool hole slash like samba place in in in somewhere in Brazil. What?

Pool and Yeah, it's like daily it's a pool hall, but then at night it turns into samba and the the highest level guys come in, their capital and their music capital. Um, it's so fun, but these guys don't stop playing pool. And so everyone's dancing, it's so packed and crowded, excuse me. And you're like the etiquette is you just know and you're a bar like, all right, all right. But you get you wanna be like, Bro, not just it's packed. You can't play pool here. You can't play pool there.

But they were doing it. Well there's a place in the Bronx that is this Dominican pool room where they gamble big money. Big money. And they stream some of the matches on uh YouTube and it's fucking banana. Because people are just talking constantly, they're yelling at each other in Spanish. And you know, Dominican people are having fun. They're having fun.

Th there's all these Spanish speaking and they're yelling and th they're all very flamboyant and having a good time. And they get people to go over there and play like pros and they get so rattled because They're not used to that. Right. Wow. The inventor.

Right. Not only that, but the the guys can play and they're accustomed to that culture. So they're accustomed to all the yelling and all the craziness and guys standing in front of the hole while you're shooting at it, which is a no no in regular Oh, that's like high school. Do it then. Do it.

They don't do it that bad. But it's not that bad, but there's plenty of guys moving around the table. They're all talking. Everyone's yelling. The tables next to you are yelling. They don't care if you're betting thirty thousand dollars on a set. Dominicans are having so much fun they're allowed to use the N word. Blacks are like, you know what, they kinda rule. Give it to'em. Just Dominicans.

Fuck it up. Let it go. Let it go. But it's really interesting because I've watched guys who are like top pros go over there and fucking lose to guys that they're not supposed to lose to. And the reason why they're losing is'cause they're just rattled by the environment. Wow. And so what a lot of these guys will do, they'll put airpods on. So they'll put air pods in with the noise cancelling so they try to take away some of the the fucking sound and just focus but

you're really going to be playing at like sixty percent of your capacity because there's just too much chaos going around. If you play in a real legit pool tournament, Dead quiet while the guy's down on the ball. And then they clap when someone makes the ball, but then he moves to the next shot. They stop clapping.

Yeah, sure. Respectful. Yes. But not in these fucking pool and these guys are playing for big money. They're playing for tens of thousands of dollars and they're just getting sharks and rapids. Stealing their blood. I watch guys like uh I watched this guy Oscar Dominguez play this dude. Oscar's a top pro. He was on the Moscone tu cup. He was on the Mos uh the Moscone team for the US. And he

was over there playing this dude, I was like, how did they get him to go there? Wow. I talk to my friend Jeremy Jones. Rep too. It's like the guys who do um Burning Man, the DJs like I'll play for free, it's just like it's a rep thing. I think it's the money. The g th th well Oscar loves to gamble and he's going to a place where someone's willing to gamble him from a lot of money. Well, you say this thing about Jo Jones, I'm gonna listen while I go to pest.

I'm not gonna stay the whole time We'll pause. We're back, folks. We're back. So what I was saying is uh my friend Jeremy Jones, who was uh US Open champion, he said he went to that pool hall once and he said, I'm never going back. And he's also said that the neighborhood is like Things can go sideways. It it's it's a neighborhood where like, hey, you might go there three nights in a row and you have a good time. Fourth night, four people get shot.

You know what I mean? That was always a problem with underground pool I mean uh poker rooms. Oh, you play play at commerce or a place like that's legit, it's fine. You go underground and like there's not there's a guard there. Right, and you're walking out with a lot of money. I remember when um you were struggling in the early days of comedy when we kind of first met and you were making your money by winning pool tournament or poker tournaments. Yeah. You would go Finishing at least.

Yeah, you would go to these casinos and make and you would play it like a job. You'd be like super serious. I've read books on it. The best book Of all the there's tales and there's strategy. The best, my favorite book is this guy Mike Caro. There's a book called Mike Carrow's Book of Poker Toe. Um yeah, I managed to use one of them once in a in a World Series event.

Um that if it this is the one where it goes if someone looks at your chips, it's because they have a killer hand and they think those chips are theirs and there's a it's just like we you know when you lie, you look away a little bit. Mm-hmm. That's like a tell we all kind of know. So look at the chips are.

You look at it just for a second, you're like and it's'cause you're like those are my you're not worried about your chips,'cause you know your chips are staying. You got a full house. Right. You know those are safe. But you're looking at those like how much of that can I extract? So I was throwing a bluff down against a pro at the World Series. It was like whatever. And I I was like, I think he must have read this book.

And so I'm banking on that. So I'm holding my bluff nothing hand and I just kinda do a very subtly, just do one little and he goes, Yeah, right. And he chucked his hand away. Yeah, you thought he had me red. But the best thing about Mike Carroll's poker tells me. Double cross. A double crossed joke. I love that. I love that. That's so cool. That's the cool thing about poker, that it's like a lot of it's bullshit. You're bullshitting, you know?

The best thing about the poker tilt is it was written in the seventies and there's a bunch of race Race based on the right. Tell you. Really? Yeah. Which ethnicities? All. All of them? If an older white man re raises you, get out. That guy doesn't bluff. He's just trying to play. You know, his wife died years ago. He's just trying to

Uh uh they're like, if you're playing against a Mexican, find out when payday is and if it was this Friday, they're bluffing, they're just throwing in anything, they just want to play, they're gonna part with their monies. There's a whole thing on blacks, I forget exactly what they were saying on that, but it was like very interesting. Yeah. I think in the seventies. Interesting. Back when you could be honest. Yeah, and he was like, I was just telling you how to Yeah.

You could get away with a lot of like honest observations about different cultures. Oh. Mike Carroll's Book of Pocahtels. Orientals. Oriental. Either very skillful or very luck oriented. Like it says it now Asian Americans. Like why what happened to Oriental? But I'm an oriental. Uh someone told me that Oriental is like a slur now. But it's actually the right word. Is it the Orient?

It's m people or goods from the Orient. You know what the opposite is? What uh you and I, occidental. People or goods from I guess not the Orient. Really? You know what's also interesting? It's like Asia. For sure. Asian is so much of the world. Nice. Like Asian includes India, which is Asian. Uh, if I was president, executive order. That's no. No. That's not who we're talking about. That's not who we're talking about. Pakistan in Asia?

Right. That's Middle East. Fuck off. Fuck off. You know oh, Israel is also Asia, by the way. But it's also like the Philippines is Asia. That's Asia. I'll give you that. Okay, but it's way over there. It's way over there. And then you got China and then you got Japan and then you got Korea and South Korea and North Korea. Chi okay, let's be real. China and Japan are the obvious ones. Yes. That's Asia. The further you get, the more you're. Yeah, Korea's also.

Okay, Vietnam, you're still in the gold. Oh yeah, I don't know. Well they're almost Russian. Saudi Arabia is Asia. Fuck off. We're talking about China and their subsidiaries. Big Asia. Cambodia, okay, sure. Wow. So Russia's technically Asia? That's Asian Russia. Israel is the craziest one. Oh okay. So there's Asian Russia, so that would be Siberia, right? The Maldives are But that would be like Mongolia for sure. Kazakhstan is Asia. Wow.

Mongolia. But a lot of the Kazakhstan guys look Asian. Like this guy Shafkot Rom Rogmanov who fights in the UFC. A Mongolian accent is crazy because it really is. It f it sounds like half Chinese, half Russian. You know, they look Chinese speaking like the Russian accent. Hard. Hard people. Kazakhstan, India, Iran? Iran is Asia. Israel's Asia. It was just the edge. All those people are Oriental. Orientals. I'm gonna next time I go to Jerusalem I'm gonna call them all Orientals.

Yeah. Damn. Yeah. If you want to, you just go to a pool also. Yeah, look where Israel is. Maps are so interesting. Israel's like that's what's nuts. You ever see the border between uh Egypt and Palestine? That border's nuts. Oh my god, it's the most fortified border you've ever seen in your life. You think the border between Israel and Palestine is rough? Really? Yeah, the the border between Egypt and Palestine is w Way harder than that. We do not want those people up. You ever see it?

Fucking rolls of barbed wire. It's crazy. Yeah, look at that. Does that guy just catch a baby being thrown over? Click on that one please, the one it says uh the Arab weekly uh r on on the top. Yeah, right there. Look at that. Look at that, bro. Wow. You ain't getting through that. A nice place to stroll for those two guys. Just a relaxing afternoon near the Gaza Wall. Yeah. Look at that. That's crazy. Sad times. Oh the sadest. The saddest. Yeah, good luck. Um yeah.

Even more nuts now. Look what's happening in Lebanon. Now they're bombing Lebanon too. Really? Hell. I'm not sure if you're not going to follow any of this. Israel's bombing the shit out of southern Lebanon. Yeah, I was reading about this uh Ryan Grimm was covering this uh Lebanon reporter, this reporter in Lebanon that that Israel killed.

They followed her with drones, they bombed a car in front of her. She ran into an abandoned building and then they bombed the shit out of the building. And all this took hours. And all the while She was contacting like whoever runs Lebanon and they were contacting Israel and saying, Hey, this is this is a reporter and so then they got text messages between like she this

someone from the IDF had been saying to them, We're gonna kill you and then they got the number from her phone and contacted the person from the IDF and they were saying, Hey, she works for Hezbollah and, you know, fuck you and you're naive. It's it's crazy. Like they're just openly killing journals. You know what they did a good job of when I was traveling? Is they got it more than up here is separating Israel from Jew.

They really were like, We don't have any problem with Jews. But they were like be very staunchly like anti Israel. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if you live in Israel you have to do military service, right? So everyone who lives in milit in Israel is a part of the military. Like everyone who lives in Israel has served in the military.

It's interesting though, it's like a lot of those kids and then turn into adults are like very against what they're doing. Oh yeah. It's like an uncovered, I think, um, like part of it. And they're like, Yeah, we don't like this. I mean, half this country or more even didn't vote for Trump, didn't vote for Biden. So they're like, Well, I didn't I don't like this, but then you still like You have to like be pro everything about this thing, even though like you can not like certain things.

The idea that like all Israelis have a a single hive mind. Yeah. That's crazy. That's not the case in any country ever. It's not the same in any crowd. Especially a democracy. Because Israel's le like literally the only democracy over there, really. Yeah, and they have parliament too, so there's you have a lot of choice. And they're trying to like prosecute. Netanyahu. While all this was going on. Israelis? Yeah. Wow.

I mean this was one of the things that most people aren't aware of, but that before October seventh, there was hundreds of thousands of people on the streets in Israel protesting Netanyahu. We talked about it the other day. It's hard to protest. But this was before. Right. So they were trying to expand uh what they can do in terms of like with their constitution. We talked about it. What was the exact Chammy, do you remember?

The exact thing that they were disputing over. But it was expanding the power that the government has. And so people were protesting that. And then all of a sudden October seventh pops off pops. Yeah. And then, you know It's how it happened here at nine eleven. It became like if you say anything bad now, y you're like a t a traitor instead of just like Well I was already saying they have issues with

Right. Police overstepping or whatever. You're like, but now you can't say that for about three years. So

Before October seventh, Israel experienced nine months of massive sustained protest against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's government, largely driven by opposition to proposed judicial reforms. These demonstrations was included Hundreds of thousands of participants accused the right wing coalition of undermining democracy, weakening the Supreme Court and attempting to interfere with Netanyahu's ongoing corrupt

Yeah, and so that's the same as here where it's not about like are you pro gay marriage or not or are you pro like peace with Palestine or not? That's just people taking power. Right. And so that goes beyond the right or left and just go, No, no, that's an overstep. Yeah. It's fucked'cause it's not gonna get any better. It's not a good thing. And they've destroyed Gaza, Gaza.

I mean someone um posted recent video of Gaza, like what it looked like now. Like right now. They sent a drone to g or something to get video footage of what Gaza Correct.

It's crazy. It looks like they dropped a nuke. They just did it slowly. Instead of dropping one nuke, they they did thousands of fucking conventional bombs and did the kind of destruction that It's it's interesting if you ask people how to like polarizing everybody got or polarized that you couldn't just be like, Ah, any suffering's wrong.

But like I could show you a dead baby and a lot of people will go, Well, what I gotta know what their last name is first before I can tell you if I feel bad or not. Yeah. I know that's what I'm wrong. Yeah. And then if you talk about like what's happening in Gaza, people say, Well, October seventh shouldn't have happened. Like, okay, you're right. It shouldn't have. But guess what? Those kids that live in Gaza, they didn't do Interessant. We didn't do it.

What we did to Iran, what if Iran nukes New York City? Oh, th those kids that live in the Bronx, they had nothing to do with what happened in Iran. So like is that okay? Like what are we talking about? Tell them. It's fucking nuts. It's the tribal warfare is fucking bananas that it's still going on in

I was talking to people when I knew like cousins and stuff in the military and they would had just gotten out and they were like, We're all now this is before October seventh. It's a few years before, maybe twenty eighteen. They're like, We're talking now'cause we have the internet now and we're like, this isn't sustainable and we don't want to keep doing We gotta start figuring out a peace thing. And then that's all that's all

It's all gone. Yeah. Not only is it all gone, but now that they've started bombing Lebanon, everybody's really terrified'cause they're like, well, where is this going?'Cause they're bombing Christian villages in Lebanon. And they were there's video of them destroying these solar panels that these Christian villages have in Lebanon where they're just plowing over and using like tractors to Take down these solar panels. This isn't the military. Like what are you doing? Yeah.

It still goes back to like Wesley Clark, if I get that right. Where the separate country is like the seven countries and Iran was on there. Oh and we just hadn't gotten there yet. Oh yeah. But that was always like that's not a new thing. That was just in the works for a couple of decades, just waiting for the timers right. Yeah, they wanted to do it within five years, so it took twenty five. Took long. Yeah.

You know, Dave Smith had a debate debate with Coleman Hughes about that. And Coleman Hughes is like But Wesley Clark never said he read the memo. He said someone told him about the memo. He goes, any historian would not even be able to use that memo. Oh, I thought they saw their hat.

I don't know. I don't think so. I think the way Coleman was describing it. But the reality is, okay, y yeah, you might be right. Maybe because he hadn't read it, any historian would not have been able to use it in the book. But the fact that it all took place Exactly how the memo stated. That seems relevant.

And and that came out before. So they're like, Hey, we're going to Iran soon and then it's like, They did. Syria, they kept trying. Syria was the best to me because when when Obama was doing it and I don't care who's in charge, they're all doing the same shit to me. But

They go, We gotta go in there to overthrow this dictator and then uh people would just come off the whole like Middle Eastern War like, No, we're done and so they couldn't justify it. And then they go, Hey, this is insurgent group and they're gonna get you out of hand, we gotta go in and control them and then it was like, Wait, you wanna go

Fight the guy who was fighting against Assad and then that ended and then they go, No, we gotta take down Assad. And it's like you really seem like you guys wanna go into Syria looking for any sort of excuse. Uh It's all crazy. Well politics is stupid. Yeah. Yeah, your perspective is probably the healthiest. Stay up. Leave me alone. Fuck you. Live my life. But the thing is like some of it does affect your life. Like this psychedelic drugs thing.

Okay. So in that moment where you got fucking Which maybe hopefully shrooms legalized, you know, in an ideal world, is a very rare case of someone who can actually accomplish change. You're at a higher level than most people in terms of influence. Both personally and like broadly. But also the di the individual, like him.

Like most people wouldn't do it that way. Like if I was friends with Obama, there's not a fucking chance in hell I could have gone to Obama and said, Hey dude, you know what'd be cool? If you got Ibogaine legalized, it would keep all these people that are addicted to He could have done that decades ago.

Everyone could have done that. They've known about Ibogaine forever and they've also known about the pill crisis forever. So all this stuff was common knowledge amongst plenty of people. They I mean John Hopkins has been doing these studies John Hopkins has a playlist. For shrew. An MDMA. They they make a playlist for you. They do? That you can like this is a good MDMA or sh I forget which one, Shum's playlist.

Is it like John Hopkins like sanctioned it or someone who Yeah, no, someone who works at No, no, no. A professor or something like that. In the research they're doing. In the psilocybin research. It was all psilocybin, right? And not I think yeah. Hopkins was still a John Hopkins was also a Yeah they all kinda led the way. They have a playlist that you can you can get. It's on Spotify or

Well, these people have been aware of it for so long. You know, inside the John Hopkins psilocybin playlist. Oh wow, this is 2020. Look at that guy. He looks like he's tripping. He looks like he tripped. He's like an old dude's trip down. Aw, bitch. That guy's not working for an insurance company. Loosen his tie. Yeah, Bill Richards, look, he's tripped. Psychologist and researcher. They should put researcher in quotes. Psychologist researcher and former deadhead. Yeah.

Tri I think it of it as nonverbal a nonverbal support system, sort of like a net for a trapeze artist. If all's going well, you're not even aware the net is there. You don't even hear the music. But if you start getting anxious or if you need it, it's immediately there to provide a structure. Oh, Bill, you trip hard. When I was doing ayahuasca this guy was like this shaman guy was like beating a drum very lightly and it when you come out of it whatever, the slow like boom.

Pl it would kinda like pull you back into it. And make sure put that on loop. Symphony of sorrowful songs. Hey. Don't do that. Don't give me sorrowful songs while I'm trippin'. You trying to have a bad time. Yeah, I wanna hear I wanna hear. Think about your grandmother's death. No grandma People always ask me about mushrooms, like is it gonna be this emotional, like like spiritual thing? I'm like that's get that gets hyped more. You're gonna laugh with your friends. Yeah. That's the main thing.

There's gonna be I mean it depends on the dose, right? Mm-hmm. Uh like a heavy dose will bring you to a very strange place. You're the best mushroom trip of all time on this trip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Maybe maybe the first one. Aminali of mushroom trip. Yeah, and it wasn't like it was crazy hard, it was just they were fresh. And it was just like the thoughts and it was in a uh just from places where nobody really gave a fuck, so you didn't feel like you're like a drug addict.

And just like, yeah, just seeing everything so clear. Yeah, mushrooms fucking rule. You just see everything so clear. It kills the you in your brain. What kills the bullshit part? Yeah, and so you go like, look at this behavior and it's it's the same as analyzing someone else's behavior or your own, there's the same. That's a part of the one of the problems that comes with living a stressful life is that you get really wrapped up in yourself.

Like you're managing yourself, you're managing your thoughts, you're managing your whatever you're trying to do. And that you think so much about you that a thing like that can take you out of that and you go, Oh, what am I wasting my time? Why am I wasting my energy on this? It's so pointless. It's not helping me at all.

And you see people I saw my father for like who he really is now, just like a loving, caring granddad. And we're like, oh what a fucking cool guy that I always saw as like this guy who I grew up with. And then just like, man. Yeah, and just like realizing like I'm doing the same stuff he did, like going you know, starting a new life. Mm-hmm. He did the same shit coming to America and it's like, wow, what a اشتركوا في القناة How old is he now? It's about to be ninety.

Still with it though. He's not like a feeble That's awesome. Yeah. Would he do it? He would do it. He loves getting the word out. How old was he when he was in the camps? Young, single digits. Um maybe up to I think maybe released at twelve. Yeah, he would do it. He would love it because he works at the Holocaust Memorial as a docent or something and He has a tattoo and everything. I don't think so.

He wasn't in a death camp. He was in a work camp. His I believe this is all sh I believe his d my grandfather, his dad was in was liberated from a death camp. But yeah, talk well you should talk to him. He would actually love it. He loved getting the word out. I've seen him make speeches before and there's all these inner city kids from like Kansas City, you know, and then when they hear him talk, it's just this moment you realize like Oh, this isn't a story. This is like His life.

Yeah, it's a real thing. Like a Till of the Hun, you're like, that seems like a fictional character. Yeah. 'Cause they're so removed from it and this is just at the borderline of that. Dude, he would d he w yeah, you should do it. I would do it. I'd love to have him on. Talk to him. It's um it's a weird time with uh With anything that has anything to do with people being Jewish.

Yeah. They conflate Jewish people with the Israeli government, the Netanyahu government and what they're doing in Gaza and what they're doing in all the other places. And it's also it's like there's a weird time now where people th people are enjoying questioning the numbers of people that died in the Holocaust. It's an internet retarded, just kinda like

But just like but there is some weirdness to it. And one of the weirdness to it is like there's some photos of like Auschwitz and a lot of these other camp that they took after the camps were liberated and they had people go there and they took photos of them Lot like pretending that these people were at the camp. And they weren't They were done after the fact. Yeah. But there's also tons of... It was only one million. What so w so that's okay somehow? You want to justify it in your head? Yeah.

Yeah. If we're six hundred people it'd be like Right. Well it's it's clearly there was a lot of people. I don't know what the number is. six million or if it was one million or three million, that's like to catch people like no no, you you guys said it was six like they're all It's the thirties of the thing.

forties so it's like I I don't know how to analy we're j we're guessing. We don't have the we don't have the wherewithal and you asked somebody in the Holocaust, they go, Well I was only in my one camp. I can't tell you what was going on Bergen Belzen. But

There's people that are like equally sure that it was six million and then there's people that are equally sure that it was like three hundred thousand or six hundred thousand or whatever the fuck they think it was. And it's like this weird argument back and forth. I mean you have to see how many Jews were in Europe before and after.

It's funny when you see like if you have a stat like that, like separated from this. Like in uh as in Peru we were hiking Macho to Machu Chapicho Macho Picchu mean O'Neill. Oh we gotta And and uh and they're like it's fucking pouring rain and everybody there. They're not liberal or conservative. They just go, It's been raining earlier than it should.

And they don't know about the word climate change. They just know we're told November first is when you plant, after that you're in a risk. Now this is mid October and I don't I don't know what's up. Well there's going to be climate change, whether human beings are here or not. That's the reality of the earth. The earth's temperature and climate has never been static.

And the real problem with climate change is not recognizing that human beings are having an adverse effect on the planet, because we certainly are in terms of pollution in particular But that people like Al Gore and a lot of these fucking these greenies, they're profiting off of this concept of climate change and then also using it to clamp down on people's rights.

There's that too. Like we talked about people taking money from a good cause and just like so it's like exactly for every good thing, they'll be like somebody's gonna misuse it. A hundred percent. But then it becomes a thing where like, you know, when I had Bernie Sanders And I said to him, I go, problem with climate change is not just that the climate is changing'cause it always

But that people are having effects on it'cause they definitely are. But it's that there's a lot of money in this whole concept of climate change. G ground landfills. It's all landfills. But it's better than nothing. Like, no, it's equal to nothing. Well it's all not only that, but you fucking made people feel like they were doing good by throwing their fucking water bottles. It's such an odd it's just it's uh it's all kind of crazy, but we're gross. Yeah.

But it was cool to f see people's perspectives that were like away from political and just their observations about stuff. Like I said yeah and I Sub Saharan Africa used to be lush greenlands. I mean they find they find whale bones in Sub Saharan Africa in the desert. In the desert they find whale skeletons in the desert way before there were cars. Right. Okay. Way before there were plastic and power plants. So the the Earth's climate has never been static.

The the the the macho pizza thing is I I really want to go there. Um my friend Luke Caverns, he's been on the podcast before, he's he's studied a lot of It's been three times. Has he really? But as a kid, that's what I meant like. Yeah. Yeah, so they're like, Ah, it's a one hour flight from Lima. And then just take the train. But like Yeah. It's it's pretty wild. So you're saying it wasn't even the Aztecs? Is that what you told me? Ja, dat is de Incas. Exactly.

Yeah, it wasn't they they don't think it was. They think the initial monolithic structures were or megalithic structures were an earlier, previously unknown civilization because the That's exactly right. The size and scope of their structures, the way they build it, and uh Graham Hancock has gone over this as well, is so much different than the stuff that's on top of it.

So what happens is you have this old stuff that's enormous stones that are cut like jigsaws, right? And and almost like it's melted, like the way it looks it almost You still can't Than 200 years. It's thousands of years. But the thing that's really nutty about it is that design is because when they have earthquakes, that way it won't fall off.

Right. It disperses the energy better as opposed to just stacking stuff on top of each other. That stuff falls. But when it's all interlocked in these weird forms, like that shit. Yeah. So Che Guevara talks about it a little bit where he goes, So ever Cusco is the gem of of South America. It was the it was the border of of the Andes where people would come in and do trade.

And you see this and the w the the Christians would come in, take over and build like facades on it and put a cross on top to be like, Look what we did, we're more dominant than these people And then an earthquake would come, facade would fall and this would just Stuff remains. Right. Over and over again. Yeah, it's so cool. And that was on purpose. They did that because that was

But if you look at the stuff above it, that's the stuff that the Incas made. So the Incas made this stuff with like it's all just stacked. It's not as sophisticated and also not as large because they didn't have the technology. Whatever the fuck these people had that was Look how big that rock is. I mean, hundreds and thousands of tons. I mean, these things are fucking enormous. The really crazy one is the Lebanon one. In Lebanon.

I've been there. Wait, I'm Jordan. Jordan I'm talking about is the So in Lebanon they have these massive stone what are they called, Jamie? The trilithon stones? So there's these stones that are like more than a thousand tons, and they're like several meters above the ground placed, and then on top of them you have these Roman structures. Oh right.

So if you see like there, like that click that where you had your uh cursor. Yeah. Look at the size of that guy. Wow. And look at the size of that stone. Like and then you see the stuff on top of it is smaller. It's not as sophisticated. And then you had the Roman now the thing about the Romans is Romans had meticulous record keeping. And they talked about all the construction of all the different things they had. They don't even mention them.

mention how they meet no, I don't think it was them. I think it was a previous civilization. Look at that fucking thing. Oh bro, I'm about to you know NASCA lines? Yes. Okay. Oh yeah. I saw him. Did you? Yeah, I flew over him. They're so big you can't I know the pictures won't do it justice because you'll see like a road. They didn't know because from the ground level you can't see any of it. And so they just build these roads through the desert. And so you can see a car sometimes.

Like so that's for perspective. And you're like, it's this dot on this giant monkey. In the middle of the desert. Right. For however many hundreds of years. Yeah they don't even know how long. They're crazy. Weird. And they're all like signals to s to something. There's all these theories on what it is. You have to see him from above. You can only see him from above. That's not...

Pilots would go over there and then somebody's like, What's that? I go, Oh yeah, we don't know. We just kinda go over Well they've found a bunch of them now because of AI, you know, they've like scanned the areas and found a bunch of previously undiscovered NASCAL lines. Wow. Yeah. And the the weird thing about it is that's also the place where they find these people with elongated skulls.

They find like these weird skulls that have additional capacity. So they have like thirty percent more capacity and they they don't have the same lines in their skulls that we have, like when we're babies. You know, we have these what are they called? Sagittal, I forget what the lines are called. Sagittal currently. You know, like your skull's not just one piece, right? It's like it's a bunch of pieces. They increase you can tie them off so they get longer as a sign of like

Yeah, but some of these skulls don't have the same structure as ours. They're human skulls but they're longer, they have more capacity. thirty percent larger capacity and they don't have those lines that we have. So it's like what was that? Were there different kinds of humans back then? I guess.

Were there were they flying around? Were they flying around and making these fucking structures? Were they responsible for Sakse Huaman and Machu Picchu and all these other places and they just died off and all we have left is like some skulls that we can't totally explain? We don't have the means to explain it yet.

Because if if it was twenty thousand years ago or thirty thousand years ago or whatever it was that these people were ruling back then, what would be left? Fucking nothing. Nothing. Very little. I mean you look at Anchor Watt where it's like That's Yeah, if you didn't see it and shocking some any of it remained. Well Anchor Watts crazy and how about that other one in India where the entire temple's carved out of one stone? Or or the one in in Jordan, the um

What is those pla the Indiana Jones one? What's that one called? That's where I went with my brother. Jimmy? Petra. Petra. It's it's nuts. You come through this canyon and it's just in a mountain. A giant three story Temple that it's just carved carved out of the mountain. It wasn't added to. Right. And where's the stone? Where'd you p what'd you put the stones? What'd you do? That view coming out of the the middle one, coming out of that cavern and seeing it after about an hour hike.

They don't even you have to see a p human. See how small that person is in the middle? That is so crazy. So like what? Have you ever heard of Darren Cuyu? No. In Turkey? Uh uh. This is crazy. You wanna hear this one? Or a person? It's a place. So um I think they found this because someone was doing like construction on a house and they found a pat oh, so this is what it was.

So a guy kept losing his chickens. They would go through a hole and they would never come out. So this guy was like, Well, where the fuck are these chickens going? So they broke down the wall to figure out where the chickens go. And they found an underground city that can hold twenty thousand people. Turkey. With many, many levels. Like many levels deep into the ground. Wow. Fucking bananas. Oh yeah. I watched a documentary. Wow.

Like we see the where where you uh could you please go back to that one image with the houses? Yeah, like that. Like so this guy it was like behind a fucking wall in a house. So these chickens would go into the hole and he would like they would just disappear. So it's like where's my fucking chickens? So the guy starts digging around to try to figure out where the chickens go and they found this. And I wanna say they found this in like the twentieth century. 1920s Like twenty nine maybe?

Wow. So no n they forgot about Nobody knew about it. Nobody knew who made it. There was no record of it. And it it's it No one knows. Right. No one knows when. No one knows who. No one knows nothing. There's other ones they found in China. They found this fucking insane one in China that also has no records. It's enormous. Like enormous.

caverns with giant columns, it's all carved out of the stone. They they moved millions of tons of rocks out of there. No record. No one knows where the stone went. I'm staying with the Lacondans.

Myan's, whatever. And uh we were on a hike and there was this little like abandoned temple, just the size of this room. And so the guide was like so now there's a tunnel in here to like the main temple. It's about a mile and a half away, and there's a tunnel where you can go through it. It takes a couple hours to walk.

And he goes, I did it with my brother once. He goes, I'll never go back. It's so frightening and there's fucking pumas around and you don't know. Pumas in the tunnel? Yeah, you're like you can't see shit. He goes, It's a bad place, but it's this long underground tunnel that was made however long ago. What the fuck? This is the In China. So this is one of the these caves in China. By the way, no record, no historical record of when it was created or who created it.

Twenty three. And this is another one that they found. In nineteen ninety two they found. Four farmers in Long Yu found the caves and they drained the water from five small ponds in their village. The ponds turned out to be five large man made caverns. Further investigation revealed nineteen more caverns nearby. They've been determined to be more than two thousand years old, and their construction is not recorded in any historical documents. Like look how crazy please show some of those images.

It's fucking bananas. So they're just guessing that it's two thousand years old. They don't know. Right, right. Record. There's no record of it. But it's bananas. And they've also those carvings they think are pa uh post. Later people. Post discovery. That's their way of going. Um. Yeah. Because you see how like those lines on the walls? That's how everything looks. It's just those carved straight lines and it looks like the other stuff was like more modern that

I don't know. I mean that might have been how they did it. They might have had some sort of a device that they carved the stone out with. But the thing is it's like Where is this? Where is this on a map? Show me where where long you is on a map. I wanna visit a lot of China. Ooh. There's some a lot of places in there that I'm like don't know about. China's a big ass place. Back out, back out. China's so big. Long you carry. Keep going back. Well keep going back. Let me see context. Do do do.

Oh my god. Oh it's pretty deep in there. Good luck. Good luck. Near Wuhan. Look. Yeah. Take a train to Wuhan, catch a catch a bug. yeah go eat some armadillo Pangolin. Pangolin. That's how you got leprosy eating armadillo of pangolin. You're really not supposed to eat those things. Go back to the images, please. The images are nuts, man. It's like what what were these people doing? Like why who who made this?

I love standing in a place like that and just like you just instantly get connected to the to the history of it. Could you imagine it's nineteen ninety two and you're just draining a pond, you're a farmer, and then you drain the pond and you go, Oh there's like a cave in here. And you go in and you see this shit. And no one knows who made it. No and China again.

China has extensive historical records because China has existed for thousands and thousands of years. It's one of the few countries that's essentially been just China for five thousand plus years. Banana Aquarium for real dragons. Uh Yeah, to keep them somewhere. Uh Well I mean, who made it and how did they make it? Like how did they do For what? For what purpose? Yeah. How did they make that two thousand plus years and by saying two thousand it's like you're just

Two thousand means. So there's a there's a Joan Diddy and uh uh piece on um on um El Salvador. Uh from a long time ago. And she goes, They don't use numbers the way we use numbers. They say fifty, it means a bunch. Oh, like seventy two virgins. Yeah, I mean just a bunch. Like bro, he he went there a million times. Tons of tons of fucking like what is a ton? That's I smoke tons of joints. Break it down.

So perplexity, our AI sponsor, says no one knows for certain who created the Long U caves. Archaeologists agree they are man-made and probably over two thousand years old, but there's no record of their builders or patriotes. That's...

That is so crazy Oh pottery and other finds inside date roughly to the late Quin or Western Han period, around two hundred B C E, suggesting they were excavated at or before that time. But the thing is that But that pottery could have been someone who just left pottery later. But that means it has to be at least that old or older. At least that older older. So it's at least two thousand plus years old. But how crazy is that there's no n known records?

Should go in quick and just bury some like shit from a long time ago. Get some artifacts and just leave it in there. So much shit like that is still out there in other parts of the world where they don't know about it. Well it's like this tunnel that the that the Mayan guy said. He was like, Yeah, no one knows or no one knows he goes, Me and my my friends know about it. So it's just like everywhere.

Well we were talking about the Aztecs, about how the Aztecs and this is another thing that I found out through perplexity when I was just I was writing this thing about Mexico and about how crazy the history of Mexico is. And you know, that the Spaniards came over with essentially like twelve muskets and took over the whole country. But when they when the Aztecs

were living in these temples, they didn't build them. They called them the place where the gods were born. So they found them. So there's a previous civilization that like Teotaquan uh Teochitlon and all these other beautiful pyramids and temples. They don't know who fucking made'em. Okay. They don't know who made them. Even Vietnam. Oh the n I saw the sixty minutes thing on that. Did you see that?

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok That dude from Sixty Minutes, like a dude and a lady from Sixty Minutes, went and visited this cave and I was like that Haunted a spot. One cool thing about something like sixty minutes that they would do something like that, because th it's a long journey. Wow. You have to fly in, drive a long distance, then hike a long distance. Some of these places aren't any nothing's there. Oh well. They have their own ecosystems. Like there's clouds in there.

It probably fucking rains inside the cage. There's insects, there's animals that live in these caves that have over time lost their ability to see'cause they didn't need it. So their their hearing goes up, their sight goes down. But there's like bugs in like Thailand and like Sapong and places like that where it's like, Oh yeah, these places these these animals only exist here. Yeah, yeah. Salamander and Barton Creek. Springs. Oh really? It only lives there?

Weird people swimming in the creek, yeah. They survive on chicks with arm hair. Yeah, I was doing bottom of the barrel last night and somebody brought up that there's like there's nude beaches at Lake Travis. And I'm like, what is it like? And they're like No no no. Take a well maybe but when you take one of those boat rides out. Yeah. Bro, it's not Nice.

Yeah. Noise noise. Hippie tits? Hippy some of them were gross hippie tits, but some of them are like real tits, dude. Real on influencers go there too. Oh like girls have done too much ayahuasca and they wear wooden beads and they want their tits out. So I was in my I was in a Patagonia where I was Four point six stars. That's a lot. I was asking people if it was a it was a rafting thing and I was like who's the worst?

I always try to do this, especially at comedy clubs too. Who's the worst person you've ever had here? Right. So there's like which country, which people are the worst? And they go, I don't know. I'm like, listen, I'm from Jews, so you can s it's Jews, right? And they go, I mean they want freebies for sure. But like uh We're trying to get which which country's worst and he goes, Well the worst overall though is influence.

And they have no country. But they make everything about them. They make you pause too long to take their shots. They make you get out of their shot. Oh yeah. We're all just trying to raft. They think they're there for them. Yeah. Ugh. Johnny Somali. Do you know who that guy is? He was in Korea and apparently they have some statue that is about

I think it's something about sex slavery or something like that. So he was like kissing the statue and being rude to people and they just sentenced him to he did a bunch of shit over there. They sentenced him to six months of hard labor in Korea. We need some of that here for influencers. Quit doing fucking selfie talking on the while you're walking. You're not a black lady. You don't get to talk to your phone. Black ladies could you talk about it? Oh, they love speakerphone. Why do they do?

I don't know. Uh it's like Why do you think they like that? Why do they like it? They want everyone to hear that conversation. Maybe because their fucking nails will cut up their face if they bring it too close. I'm sure I think of possible reasons. It isn't weird where like certain cultures gravitate towards certain behavior and activity. It's new racism, it's fun because it's like this isn't in the books. Right. This is a b a brand new observation.

Speakerphone is like I remember being outside of Roscoe's chicken and waffles and saying, like, how many how how come so many black guys are on speakerphone? And people are like, that's racist. I'm like, no, I'm not. Yeah. I'm not mad at them Yeah, I don't care. Wonder what? Like why is it worse that I hear both sides of the conversation versus one side? Like if someone's just talking on the phone, why is that uh less offensive than someone talking to

Observe why do the Hasidic Jews always talk on flip phones all the time? And you're like, there's something up. Or what yeah, there's some where it's like, why did the some people used to ask me that when I would do June A's when I was doing the Jew hour building it? So they'd ask questions during the check drops. I'd be like, Ask questions and I'll build my material that way. Oh, that's smart.

But one of'em was like, why do they all wear matching clothes, the daughters? Or like if the one's ten, one's eight, why do they wear matching stuff? I that's the only one I couldn't figure out until I finally figured it out. It's um two for one sales. United threatens to kick off passengers who don't use headphones. You're good. Oh well that's because people are like listening to like loud YouTube videos right next to Well all over South America. Oh really?

It is scroll Instagram videos loudly. There's no even thought. We were on an overnight bus once and there was a guy listening to like best Hollywood screams. And it was like, dude, we're sleeping. Oh god. It's it's crazy. They just don't do it. And you want to be like, be quiet, but they'll be like, why? It's not part of our culture. It's like Dominican pool hall. Yeah, exactly. This is how we do it. That is used to the chaos. It is weird that like people get used to a certain amount of chaos.

You know. And that's just normal. Yeah. New York is a normal jackhammers like nothing. Yeah, if you live in New York, you're totally accustomed to that. Oh, that was what I wanted to send you, Jamie. I don't know, maybe I did send it to you the other day. About where they figured out that there's a part of your brain that recognizes when birds aren't church. Ooh. And you you kind of freak out. There should be some background noise.

Well if the birds aren't chirping, it generally means that predators are nearby. Their brain has a circuit that doesn't know you live in a city. Its only job is to monitor where the birds are still singing. Right now in this room it's on. The circuit predates primates. Whoa. Mammals have been using ambient soundscape continually as a predator detection system for roughly 200 million years. Birds stop singing when something larger moves through their territory.

For most of the mammalian history, the forest full of song meant that no large predator was nearby and the cessation of sound was the warning. Your nervous system never updated this software. Loud quiet. The Max Planck Institute tested the inverse in 2022 with 295 participants, six minutes of bird song, dropped anxiety with a medium effect size.

Six minutes of traffic noise raised depression with the same. The effect worked on subjects who lived in dense urban environments and had no regular contact with nature. The brain still ran the check. I listen, I I'm I'm a hippie, I live in New York, and it's like I gotta get to nature once in a while or I'll go crazy. Well we have to protect the parks. That's why we have to protect the bar. We have to. Tomorrow. Tomorrow we're protected apart. Tomorrow we are. Yeah. Yes it's back.

Fucking this new guy. Listen, I'm a one issue voter. I'm not a voter at all. And it's it's this we saved uh another park, Elizabeth Street Gardens. Classic old park and they go, No, the other guy was like, We gotta tear this down for low income housing. And then Lower East Side in the East Village, that's a community oriented place. They take care of shit on their own. Always have. They made the par it's a parks district because they were like these buildings.

collapsed and they're just like, Let's build it into parks and then the city when it came back, they're like, Let's take those back. Like, no, no, no, fuck that. We made these. East River Park's massive, but Illustrated Gardens is tiny. And the other guy, the black guy, whatever his name was. Eric Adams. Eric Adams. He goes, I'm gonna protect that park and I'm gonna protect all the park. Parks got nicer. They they redid them all and they painted all the penches. I like them. And um

And he goes, Okay, so this community goes, We will find you another place to build low income housing. And they did. They had this whole platform and they go, We can do it on this block, down the street there and there. It's actually more houses than you were planning on building. Okay. And now this fucking new guy goes, No, we're bail we're we're gonna raise that to the ground. What? And like, no, no, we did it. We found another place. I thought he was funny.

Keep trying to get him to like just say you're gonna protect it. And he's pretty much like, I won't. I won't. Elizabeth Shi Gardens is fucking gone if I have my say. Real. Yeah, and I'm like, dude, come on. You're supposed to be of the people. What's again, single issue voter, I don't know about the rest. You gotta protect that park. So do you think that there's some sort of a financial interest to someone Someone's getting someone's always getting this. Someone's always getting that.

Well you would not think it would be him. He's the democratic socialist. You there's a non capitalist reason why green spaces are important. Yeah. It doesn't bring in money to try to fuck up with this one. They try to fuck this one up. Yeah, with underground like garages and stuff and like totally redoing it. The people won. So it didn't happen. But like there is a thing that helps all of our Level of life. Central Park is a That's great. Yeah. Yeah.

I w we were talking about this with Brian Simpson. I was like if I lived in New York City, if something happened and I had to do J R E from New York City, I would have to live near the park. I'd I'd have to take him I'd I just have to like have a place where I one hundred percent were able to take I'd have a routine where I'm taking him to the park every day. Social Park rules and you see somebody playing saxophone and you feel like you're in a Woody Allen movie.

Bro, Central Park's incredible. It's so big too. When you stay in a hotel that like looks over the park, you really get a sense of the scope, this the size of it. Fly over. It's so and Yeah. Yeah, love to sell that off. Oh yeah. Yeah. You know, like one of those big cities that they have over. Yeah. It's good for your dome, obviously. It's good for the fucking mind. Yeah. It's healthy. But even Central Park, it's like it's not as good as like real Will.

Yeah. Central Park will buy me two days of sanity. I gotta get to the actual woods and then I get a week or two. Yeah. It'll battery. Like it's way better than no so and it seems like people are cooler there. Like every time I've been in Central Park, people seem like a little nicer. Like like if you run into people on Broadway, they don't seem as nice as people that you run into in Central Park.

There's also that thing with like, Hey, no smoking in here, like I'm really sorry and then you put it out and like I'll light it up as soon as you're gone. You can't smoke in Central Park. Nothing. Really? You do, but weed, but cigarettes I get more mad at But also like yeah, if I got a cigar and I'm with a friend I'm smoking. Yeah. Well I could see how that would annoy me. Sure, but also chill. But you can walk down the street in New York and smoke a cigarette, right? Or joint, yeah.

Right. It's still weird to me when I see a black guy on a stoop rolling a joint and I'm like, What are you doing? That's legal. You're gonna go to jail. That's right, I know it's Well now it's different nationwide'cause Trump just changed it to Schedule Three. Again, this is something that Obama could have done, Biden could have done, Quentin could Trump one could have done it. Yeah, and now it's schedule three, which is still not good. I mean it should be

Just like alcohol, but at least it's getting close. It's getting close. Did I have moments out there in na of nature where like you're in the middle of nowhere and you really do feel rejuvenated like that? Oh yeah. Where you're like you're not even it's not even hiking culture. So it's like you're not passing anyone. Right. For hours and hours and hours. You're just at peace.

And whatever that thing is that they've just discovered about birds, there's a similar thing that you your body recognizes when you're actually in real nature. It feels different. Like there's no cell phone signal. The ground You know anything about grounding? What what's your uh what's your take on it? Well, Huberman believes it's a real thing. And so I th he I always trust Huberman because he's very objective about it.

Electromagnetic waves coming off the ground that you need to get in touch with. It does feel good. Take the dogs out in the yard and I walk around barefoot, it feels good. I mean I'm just judging it based on how it makes me feel. It's like that word tree hugger got a bad rap, but it's like it comes from like touch that, they're in the ground, so you're connected to the ground. comes from people that were tripping balls. Because if you're tripping balls, those trees hug you back.

I've been there, yeah. Those trees hug you back. They talk to you. You can feel the cells. Yeah. I've been here for 300 years. I've been here before this was America. Yeah, it's pretty wild. When I go to the mountains when especially like the elk hunting mountains because it's so it's so hard to get there. And when you get there there's no cell phone service. Correct. And when you're up there, you feel different. You just feel like you feel better. You really do feel more relaxed.

It was just like all the the shit holding you down just like pulled off. And after not very much time, it was just like just thoughts, creative thoughts were just like pouring out of me. So you when the six months you were gone, no um social media, no

I took I took YMH's on a piece of paper, a couple people from YMH's um emails. I got two months ahead on my ads and my podcast on UB Trippin'. So I'm like, you guys are set for two months. You don't need me. And then after So did you record a bunch of episodes in advance? A year's worth of the yeah. I did my work. Oh my god, that's Yeah, they're all evergreen episodes.

Work I r one, worked hard, two, l loved hearing about travel. I love it. Right. So like I it wasn't much work for me to come in and be like, Tell me about Cambodia, tell me about Thailand, tell me about Taiwan, tell me about you know Uruguay. That's how I feel about podcasting in general. Yeah, you like it. You have s here or there, like, this guy was sucked, I wish I should have stayed home. But yeah, generally like that's really interesting. Yeah. So I love it and I just got

Way ahead. It's funny when I like Danny Polishek I put out an episode he goes, Did we do it like two years ago? And I'm like, I wasn't time yet. I don't know. Oh wow. Or I'll save it for if a comic has a special. Like, let's just record it now. In nine months you'll have a special How many do you have bang? Through July still. Whoa. Yeah. That's great. So how many did you do a week?

Sometimes none. Sometimes sometimes like f six or seven. I was very Oh really? Oh you'd be tripping, dude. I was I I see every mistake I made for the skeptic tank and I was like, let's avoid that. Like what kind of mistakes are you making? So like minimum of effort on my part technologically. So I YMH is my Jamie. Right, right. Here's the footage handle. By the way, settle down'cause This is the only this is the goat. Well I have fifteen people doing one Jamie job. Yeah. So

That's the problem. This like when people talk about like who should I hire? I'm like I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. But yeah. But I did I did that. I just kept recording sometimes I'll be like two two a day for four straight days. And and any comic who goes, Hey, I'm sorry I'm busy, I'm like, buddy, let's reschedule. This isn't supposed to be stressful. Right. Let's do it when you have time. Right. There's no Yeah. Sure. Okay. That's the way to do it.

And um and once you're ahead you can afford a week with nothing and it wasn't like I gotta find someone, we gotta do this now. Yeah, that's out. Yeah. That's out. All the music choices I used to make, I'm like that's a lot of work. Yeah. Well the music thing is the problem is like you get flagged We used to be able to play music on YouTube all the time and now everything gets flagged. You gotta be real careful. We used to play songs almost every episode.

Whole song. Yeah. When there was nothing when when the show made zero money Wild West. It was so fun. You're actually making a fun thing. It was so outlaw. It's a little more corporate now, which is sad, but also fine, it helps people a lot more now. Man podcasting was just do whatever the fuck you want. We were at the early early days. Like when I started this thing it was two thousand nine. It's almost twenty years old. Twenty years. Which is so nuts.

Have you figured out a way to monetize it yet? Not yet. I'm working on it. I was I think I'm gonna sell rubber pussies. You were for a bit. You were for a bit. That was my first bot. Only sponsor. I don't need another one. We're good. It was funny'cause Sam Harris was like one of the his requests when he first did my podcast. I said, Okay. Okay, it doesn't matter. Like it's not like it's paying a lot of money. It was just fun more than anything.

Yeah, but so I would I would wait. So after two months I'd go, Hey, um I need the next months of ads. And I would say one day, I would just do all the ads and the bumpers, like this guy's got a new special, here's his tour days. I'd find a waterfall or something and I would do it in a fun place. Oh wow. Yeah, I'm just like, let's do it fun. If I'm gonna do remote, let's be remote. Yeah. Um How did you do it? Do you do it video as well? Yeah.

iPhone. So just Jamie told me this a long time. My first trip to South Southeast Asia, I was like, Hey, I need a pocket camera. Like, what's the best and he was like, Bro, you're not gonna want to hear this. It's the iPhone. Yeah. It's the best one. Or a galaxy. Like any modern self. twenty seventeen. Any modern cell phone, the video's fucking incredible and Stabilizers. The video stabilization's amazing. And all you do is you set it up on a little tripod and it'll go for fucking hours.

Yeah, so I'll I'll I'll put it on a tree far away. I did one for a Danny Brown episode in in like Sucre, Bolivia, in front of the statue of Sucre. Oh wow. And it just like Yeah. Dude, I was I saw an inauguration for the first president they had in twenty years. Where? In Sucre, in Bolivia. Whoa. They had the old guy with Yeah. Okay. A crazy dude that everyone hated. He said farming is more important than industry here. So we should give the farmers two votes. And the cities get one.

Now they also run the media there. So everyone in the f in the farmlands, in the in the you know, the heartland, they didn't see any of the problems. Right city shit. So they'll go, I don't know, everything on the radio says the guy's doing a great job. Let's vote him in again. He's doing a great I've I listen to the radio. The guy's doing a great job. And everyone in the city's like, no, he's lying. So everything went to shit.

Like, well, let's turn on the radio again. Let's turn on like Trump Trump news and see what it what Trump is saying about Trump. It's gonna be pretty good. Right. Oh yeah. I pretend to be talking my cell phone because it's so embarrassing. So I pretend to be talking my phone, but I just have a a cordless mic. Is Danny still sober? I think he's back on Wii, but like yeah, he's off he's office. Hall was the issue. Yeah. Last time we did a podcast, he got He's he's he's sober.

Nice. Yeah. Good friend. Bolivia w is there like it was always Bolivian marching powder was what when I was a kid, what do people would call cocaine? Interesting. The salt flats were really cool there. Yeah. Yeah. Oh there's me and O'Neill in Peru. Look at you guys with your stupid hats on. Yeah, I would just try to find weird spots and like I don't know, let's just film some. Why were you wearing those hats? Where's Peru? Those are the alpaca hats to keep you warm.

Oh I I went hunting my first time hunting I wore those hats. And uh Steve Ranello was saying that's a very left left wing hat. I'm like Why is it left wing? It's warm. Yeah. I don't know about your hat. Mike pushed my back up. Leave it alone. I'm about to kill someone. Steve, chill. I'm about to murder someone. But that's all I would do. I would just weigh in once in a while, get my month's worth of stuff, and then go back to disappearing. And I'm telling you, buddy, my brain was so alive.

I I would just like you just don't realize what you're dealing with responsibility wise all the time. And then when you have none It's like you could just kind of be yours. I came up with this whole my storytelling shows up. I came up with this whole like h how to frame it all, how to do everything. I had a vision of like this prologue. That I want to bridge the gap. It's called the end. It's out now.

And then and did you film all that with uh your mom's house studios as well? Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. They might be the only group like that that's actually good. Tom was like, How much do you have? I'm like, I have about eighty percent of it. And he goes, I'll put in the rest. I'll supply all the c all the people you need to make it happen. Um

And then he's not a network. Right. He's Segura and he's a fucking dirtbag. So he's like, say whatever you want. I'm there's no censoring when it's Segura, you know. It's also like Tom has made so much money that he's out. You know what I mean? He'll do whatever the fuck he wants. You can't stop him. He's gonna do whatever. Yeah. Oh nice, look at all these episodes. Miss Pat the Stefano. Look at that. Duncan did a great one. Bye. Bobby Shane.

Jane, Bobby Kelly. Big Jay. Yeah, we made the show again. Yeah. And then this prologue's uh it's it's something I I had a vision of this on that mushroom trip. About how to frame like what happened to this not happening and what is this thing now and how to like go through it and then then I talked to a bunch of artists while I was gone and Some made pictures and this guy this guy William Child, he actually did a Danny Brown video. He's just shit, I don't wanna ruin this. Where'd you film these?

The box in New York City. Place where Chappelle would have his comedian ball. Let's get that gay outfit. The K outfit show is from do you remember a show like called This Is Not Happening? Yes I did on completely uh legally unrelated to this new show. You can say whatever you want, but I cannot. But um but uh that was a comedian telling stories in a strip club. This is a Strip club with a comedian telling stories. Um

I the first year they go, Hey, you gotta you gotta wear the same outfit every day. And I go, No, that's fake. They go, No, no, but we gotta mix and match days, so we gotta do it. Oh why? D is anybody gonna tune out because they see No, it'll be like it's weird or suddenly you're hosting a different thing. So I'd start wearing ridiculous suits I made in Hong Kong, you know.

And then my final year I had this Indian outfit picked out that I went and uh and and sourced in in LA and and had this cool Indian outfit. All right, now it's cool. I thought it was gay. And I saved it for seven or eight years. That show got taken away from me. I was like, I'm sav if I ever do this again, I'm wearing this fucking outfit out of respect to To overcome.

Those days were very fascinating. The the the days where Comedy Central is trying to force you into doing a Comedy Spe Central special, but you had to deal with Netflix. And even though it was completely legal and contractually legal for you to do a comedy special with Netflix, Comedy Central was strong arming you into doing it on Comedy Central and cancelled your fucking show.

Because you wouldn't do a special with them. So you had a successful show on Car wan people wanna know how gross Hollywood can get? Yeah. Ari had a successful show that was doing very well on Comedy Central and they canceled it because he wouldn't do a comedy special.

'Cause I made I paid for my it was one of the early ones, paid for my own special. Uhhuh. And then so I gotta figure out where it's going. And they go, It should be here and I go, Mm, no, uh no. I don't think it should it's also it was a double special and it was like it it needs to be on a streamer more than a network. And then I was like, No, I'm going to Netflix and yeah, and then they were like, Let's go blackmail then. It's crazy. I get it from their perspective. No. No, I don't.

They're like, Hey, y we can't be losing power and they never really they always thought it was an open mic. But it's it was not losing power because the reality is that would just bring more people to the comedy central. And Netflix back then was so much bigger to do a special. When I did that twenty seventeen special on Netflix.

I was the mayor of New York for like three weeks. Everywhere I'd go, I'd meant bike at a red light, three people would recognize you. It it was a different time for specials then. And of course that was the biggest thing. I'm gonna do that. Yeah. Well there's it's still pretty Netflix is pretty. It's still pretty big, but not Jew. Oh that's right. Yeah it's on Netflix right now. But Yeah, and so people ask me with this show, like why didn't you go to Netflix or like I'm like dude network?

Killed me! Yeah. I'd rather just go straight to the people on this one. Why do it? It's like there's no reason to at this point. Especially like Comedy Central doesn't even exist anymore. That's what's nuts. It was a wild time. You said you would host for free. Yeah. I was on the phone with you crying. I was like hearing it that they're taking away from Tell me.

Tell them I will host it for free because you were gonna take out a loan to pay off all this though all the crew. Because all the crew had signed on for, you know, X amount of episodes and it was gonna cost them money. And you were like, I'm trying to figure out a way to keep us on the air I go, Tell Comedy Central I will host it for free. Yeah. Twenty seventeen. This podcast was already gone. Oh.

Yeah, it was huge by then. But it was number one in 2019, is when it first started being number one. But it was probably It was pretty big. Four. You were had pedigree on the show. You done two stories, one you liked, one you hated. But the one you liked was a great story. That was a great story. That's a great story, Dolphin, Alabama. Yeah. Um

And I was like, oh, he's part of the show. This kind of goes. If someone's got to do it, let's and he'll do it for free. You're saving money and getting a much bigger host. They just wanted to fuck you. There you go. They wanted to do it. Anyone I suggested, they said no. I said Ali Sadiq should do it, but they said no. Yeah I guess they went with Roy. Roy was really good. Raw is great. But it only lasted It was over. It was over after that.

That show could have gone on a long fucking time. It was such a great idea, it was great execution, it was fun to do. Everybody enjoyed it. In a moment where alt comedy and the ironic distance was getting bigger, yeah. This was a more real thing. Yeah. And people responded to it. But it just shows you the grossness of the business sometimes when these people who are just gatekeeping executive advanced Keeping they're really saying you're not on the list. Yeah.

Well, that's a cool thing. You can go to Tom. You can go to a guy like that or whatever. And he goes, No, I love the show. It made me it made me bigger. Let's get it going again. And it's also like nine years later, like the internet has completely taken over. Like it has drowned out all of those comedy networks. They don't exist anymore. Yeah, you need a a some level of curation, although you're lost in a sea of content sometimes. But there's people you can trust.

You know, if if you want meditation, that guy's Sam Harris, is that the meditation guy? You know whatever he's gonna say, you're gonna probably gonna believe it meditation wise. You know? Mm-hmm. Um if you need some Uh to to hear an MMA fighter like really speaking the this is a great source for that, this podcast. She needs some curator, but I mean

Like I I'm the guy. I'm that even for the show. I'll I'll make it quality. I'll make it look right. Uh you can always trust me to do that. So come to me for that show was the coolest stand-up show of all time. It was a fun show. It was a really good show. And it was a show that I remember you created from scratch. I remember when you were doing it at the lab at the improv, that tiny little room. You were doing it for free. And I was like, What are you doing?

Basically the same way that you were talking about m to me about my podcast, like what are you doing? That's what you were saying? What are you doing, dude? Fucking show for twenty people? This is so weird. I'm like Ari's telling stories. But I thought about it, I was like, it's probably a good idea to develop material that way.

Oh yeah. Yeah. No, I a lot of people was like, Hey, we're doing a show, it's about heartbreak this week or it's or this month or it's about drugs, whatever and they go, All right, let me Let me I have a story, let me get all my thoughts down. Mm-hmm. You know? Um, all the metaphors and stuff, the stuff flowery stuff you put on'em

That Jay's so good at and stuff. But like then they became a lot of people. It's like, that's my closer and my special now. I had no bit. I thought of it because of this. It became, you know, the biggest thing I had in my act. It's nuts. Yeah. Write something. It was also such a fun show'cause it was comedy outside of like regular stand up. It was like another avenue. And and it was a really fun thing to do.

You know, and the thing about like the gatekeeping of it is like those people had nothing to do with it and they had all the They had all the power. And by do by just exercising it in that way and then everybody talking about how gross it was, nobody ever trusted them again. And the thing is some of the stuff they do they're like we need some diversity. And and it'd be like, I don't think you're wrong.

I think w you don't want it to be all the same thing, but there's something me and Eric Abrams came up with is it's a diversity of experience. Yeah. Is bigger. Two white dudes is not what we're talking about. If it's like Ali Sadiq's life Closer to Gary Owens' life than mine. Mm-hmm. You know? Gary Owens and and Ali are closer to each other than me or Gary. You know, yeah. Right.

So that's what I want, different whatever. And they had these checklists you would go to in LA. Here are the gays, get one of these seven. Here are the black and it was like, Well, I'm not gonna fuck up my product. You at the end of the day it has to be a maritime. So so then we would just work harder, which a lot of people aren't willing to do. And it's like, well, there's a great black woman in Indianapolis.

Uh, she's not in LA or New York, but let's get her. She has great stories. Miss Pat. Right. There's a great black comic in Houston and he has these great stories about prison. Let's get him. They're not all on these lists. Yeah. You just gotta work a little harder to make your shit G I you know, it's like Seinfeld letting everybody else shine. Right. Right. But it's like forced diversity without the merit, without good quality comedy. you know But it's just...

Gatekeepers fuck themselves really because now that we don't need them anymore, like they they're what do those people do? People that were running Comedy Central. What do they do now? There's no jobs. Well the thing is with like o with like cabs overstepping that made Uber possible. So let's focus on the positive of this. And the Uber people kept robbing and murdering people. Yep. So they uh they just got Waymouse.

Yeah, exactly. They'll be gone too. Take advantage. Yep. Yep. How many coke addicts do you need driving? You're like, bro, that's a red light. Please stop. I mean they barely fucking vet those people. Yeah. Yeah. But the cool thing is, because it's easier to film and because I have friends that are fucking b billionaires, you know, it's like I c we can actually get it done now. It's like it's a golden age for this. Yeah. Be able to make a TV show level thing?

Well look at even movies like Theo and David Spade made a fucking movie on their own self financed it. And it's doing well. They go, We know how much it's gonna cost, we'll do it. We're rich. It's incredible. Yeah. It's a cool time. I mean we made our budget back day one. That's awesome on a massive project flying in twenty three comics. You know, putting them all up, paying'em all. They're cutting in on the shares. We've never done that before.

So are you gonna do that in the next season as well? A lot of this was just a there was a hole in my in my resume where the show didn't end on the terms it should have ended on. Yeah. Yeah. It's a play on words for s story titles too, you know, like the end, but like I like So I just had to get it done right. Nice. And then all these huge com like Shane Gillis. who when he was like open micer was like, All these guys like, I wanna eventually do that show. Yeah.

And the show went away. In the interim, he's like supplanting the Philadelphia Seventy Sixers so he can do comedy, you know? But he's like, I'd love to do that show. Dude, I had four people take private jets to go to come do the show. That's amazing. Yeah. That's amazing. Fuck yeah. I'm so happy with it. It came out right. Everyone who's seen it is like, oh, this is like not just something you did. This is like a TV show. Yeah, we it's like I'm so happy.

That's awesome. Yeah. I love it. I'm so happy to hear that, dude. And that's great. That prologue that that guy did, you should s I'll s I'll send you I'll send you a two dollar off. Um I'll just put it. Yeah, we said we had to figure out a way, me and O'Neal and Abrams, we all like writing it. We're like, I have to figure out a way to bridge the gap of this not happening to the end and what happened and everything without being too woe is me.

And so we got this claimation guy who's like, Yeah, let's just fill it with fucking punchlines. So it doesn't become that like I love Schultz, but like a little like, They couldn't keep us down. I'm like, I don't wanna do any of that. I don't wanna be earnest. Well. So let's bridge the gap without without ever being serious. Oh nice. Yeah. So it's like a three minute prologue you get. For free. That's what you're saying. Not too. M.K.'s video.

Oh wow. How did they do that? Did they use real claymation? Oh yeah, dude. In a time of AI where everyone's doing the easy stuff, he is painstakingly it takes him a day to build each one of those characters. That's three day work and then the backdrop takes another day or two. How long does it take to actually do the animation? A long time, all day long. So if you have notes, you're like, dude, I need those notes before I start filming. I these this is click move, click, move, click, move.

See ya, goodbye. Are they wires or is it just moving the other? Right, right, right. Well there's wires in the arm. Yeah. I mean you don't necessarily have to have wires like to make it stand what is going on with his tits? Yeah. Oh he's making a Looks like a turd he wants. He did a trippy red video that's really good. That's awesome, dude. Yeah. That's cool that people are still doing stuff like that. Like the old school the way they did King Kong.

Well, here's what I noticed too, when you start talking to some of these artists, you know, like some of my stage designs and stuff like that. Like for America Sweetheart, what what I had was like this idea that like what if we left society? How long till nature would just take back over? Mm-hmm. And we're like, let's do that with plants.

And then the first ones are like so expensive they're like, Oh, I can't. Okay, I gotta rethink. I can't that's far, far out of the I'll spend a lot, but not that much out of the budget. But then you tell these people, like, well here's what I'm trying to do.

Trying to say you say the whole thing. Like, here's what I'm trying to get across. Here's what I'm trying to say. Like, we're too caught up in the news and stuff. And if we all just like whatever. And then they go, Fuck, dude. That's a good Okay, we can do it a cost. And then him, Anthony Shepard, they were both like these great artists. They were like, fuck, they stole your fucking show from you. Hold on, that's fucking bullshit.

I can bring my cost way down. Let's we can do this. Oh, still very expensive, but they're like, I want to be part of something. That's dope. You know, if Tarantino was like, You want to hold a boom mic, I'm like, Yes, I would do that for you to be part of something. Yeah. There we go. That's fucking dope, dude. Instagram account. It's what? William Child, that's his Instagram account. Whoa. That's me. Okay. You can deliver me a message. Oh, you're an asshole, kid.

You know what that is? Look at that. That's real. I don't know February 18th, 2010. The show was born in the third most vapid city in America. Me and six comedians telling stories about psychedelic drugs. Only 14 people showed up. But god damn, it was the best show I'd ever seen. February and that That's awesome. Work completely on my own with help from no one, I got a TV deal. And that helped launch the careers of so many great comics.

Fat ones who lost weight. Fat ones who somehow keep getting fat. Men want to influence elections. And then with a lot of hard ending. That's awesome. The irony sickened me. Wait wait, watch this part. You're in it. Hold on. Well I mean the drugs. Wait, rush right after this, hold on. I mean, it might have been the drugs. I think there's nothing that's all it was. Uh there's only clips of it, I guess.

There's a there's a moment where I have to like go I realised I had to be a man and not just a man who would go on to tap Shane Gillis twice with witnesses by the way and then to you and Norman raising your hand just like I witnessed it. I'm like, let's just have some fun, dude. Let's have some fun. I got Duncan to do a theme song on the way out of his episode. Oh really? His story is about taking his kids to a Taylor Swift, um Taylor Swift uh

concert film and how awful is he thinks she's a fifteen thousand year old vampire. He has this long song goes, you can see it. She's feeding off them. She gets bigger as they start cheering. It's so funny. And it's Duncan. He's so out there. And I'm like, hey Duncan.

He does this like song. He breaks down every one of her songs. He goes, it's just this. And I was like, you know those crazy garage band songs you've making for twenty-five plus years? You want to do the theme song just for that episode? Just the And he goes, Yeah, 100%. So it's this like demonic song about being a fifteen thousand year old vampire. It's a Taylor Swift original song. And you don't have to okay it with a network. You're like, let's just do it. Yeah.

I was like, What do you need for credit? He made up some crazy credit for his band. That's awesome. That's amazing. Nobody's embraced like that kind of AI technology more than Duncan. Like he's always send sending me things that he's working on, like Always do technology. Those garage band songs you used to make, it wasn't a it was just him coming up with crazy Long time ago. Yeah. The sunset days. Yeah. It was like, oh my god. Yeah, that's awesome.

Okay, so that's uh it's available on rshafir.com. Each episode is five nine. Happened to Arithe Great.com. I went away, people didn't know how to find it. But if is it still there? Like if you go to ari the great dot com, does it take you to Ari Shir? If you know anything about me, there's no way I'm gonna pay those fees every year. If I know anything about me and my people, I doubt I still have that, but All right.

Yeah. Yeah. I let the Y M H staff I had a production card, you know, you need a production card at the end. One of them says Y M H, then Eric Abrams directed his. And I was like fu the one I was using was just a still frame from this not happening. Just my dick pixelated. And I was like, put my thing on that. I hate the high yeah dear I'm not a producer, whatever.

And I didn't have it. And then we couldn't use anything with this not happening. So it's like, don't and I was like, fuck, I need another one. I'm off in the jungle. So I told YMH, I was like, guys. You guys are all fucking idiots. Make me whatever production card you want and I will use it. And then they were like, We're gonna make seven. I was like, All right.

And I've seen a few of them and they're all so retarded. They're all so retarded what is it to mean being a giant coin out of my fucking giant nose? It's just so retarded. Oh, I love working with people I like. Yeah, uh Tom's awesome. It's nice having a guy like that that's like really Just acquired an enormous amount of funds. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And his Netflix show was fucking great. Oh it's so out there. It's so crazy. But it's like perfect for him. It's like his mind.

All right, let's wrap this bitch up. Um tomorrow, protect our parks. First protection parks in quite some time. Dude, I would get recognized here or there when I was traveling. Not much. I'll tell you a couple things I saw. People know Shangill's name except in Brazil, and then they only know Ralphie Bastos' name. Oh really? That's the only comic they've ever heard of. Big he's a big comic over. Yeah. I had him on the show. Really? Yeah, he rules. Good dude.

But I'll tell you this though, there's a lot of business and shit that gets caught up in this. Who's interviewing which politician and what oh this guy's doing this or he's friends with this guy and And all the money and everything and like am I doing well enough? People try to do that keep up game. This guy's getting m more views on his clips. I should start doing shorter stuff. Um

Anyone I told that didn't recognize me when it came up what my job was, first I had to try to avoid it. But if I kept presenting like, no, no, no, for real, what do you do? I'm like, all right, well, I'm a I'm a stand-up comedian. I mean this is ten for ten countries. Everybody would be like, what? What do you mean? I'm like, I'm a stand up comedian. And they go

What w like for as a hobby? I'm like, no, as a living. They're like, What? Grandma, come here. This guy just stands up like what you mean with a microphone? I'm like, yeah. He goes, that's so cool. That's so cool. I'm like where? Just in New York? I'm like and the country. And the world really. Like What? You pay your rent on this? I'm like, yeah. And then some. Like, no fucking way. They couldn't get over how cool it was. And they didn't know if I'm successful or not. They just know I do this.

Bro, we have the coolest job, and I've tested this in the world. There's no cooler job you could tell people that they'll be like that reaction. They start smiling just that the idea of the job can actually exist. Wow. And that's what we do. And the high level ones and the low-level, we're all doing the same shit. We're all just coming up with a better dick joke. To just entertain some for strangers. Gay Ian. Even gay fucking.

I want to do the and they go, Oh, I just got an idea for a bit. That's cool. Let me hold on. I gotta write this down. Hold on. I'll jerk you while I write it down. Uh that's awesome. Yeah, it's an amazing job. It's kind of incredible. We live a very blessed life. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's just I don't know. I mean, yeah. It's fun to just focus on some positives and realize the negatives are nothing compared to the positives.

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok Just concentrate on what you're doing and enjoy it. I was talking to Maddie Wiener, really funny comic. And uh she was like, you know, all these people and everybody really liked. She's gonna be a star. And she was like, All these people are getting clips, it's crowd work'cause I don't do crowd work and it was like, Well, then you shouldn't do those clips.

your road's just gonna be a little longer than them, but don't think about it like that. Like just do the shit you're good at. Yeah. You know? And then eventually you'll get found out. I mean just do whatever you do. Whatever you wanna do, but don't let them decide no I need to write an under sixty second bit. It's gotta have a punchline at fifty nine seconds, or I can't put it on YouTube shorts. Like that's a dumb way to be building your stuff. Absolutely.

Big J does kind of crowd work that no one's ever done. Long form crowd work with like He's also been doing it for so long and he has that kind of personality and like easy going style that makes it It makes it worse. Big J um at at like uh when somebody heckles him, like b an angry heckle, not just like a I'm gonna be part of it. They're like, You fuck it suck He doesn't I get worked up. He just goes, Huh What was it that you don't like? Like almost as if he's on mushrooms. He's like No.

I could say that But what specifically I just wanted to say He's an easy going guy. Yeah, he's just like, Let's mine this for laughs. Yeah. I'm like caught up screaming. Well, he's also done so many shows in New York where that must happen so often. You develop strategies. Yeah. You're you got practice at it. Yeah. Big J, my co host of Legion of Skanks. That's right. You're back. Legion just gangs. You're you're running it now that Dave Smith has decided to be a political commentator.

Well it's three for life. I'm not running it, I'm just part of No, no, no, you're running it. Oh. Print it. Joke World. I heard that you were the leader of the Legion of Skanks. I am the leader of skanks. Where are you? President. In the past, you already like you ran for president, I think you won. I m think. Yeah, I won. Dude, one day on one of these podcasts we gotta talk about the pres the presidential election legion skate. Okay. Oh Shamer's involved. Yeah. Shamer's my vice president.

All right. Let's wrap this up. I love you. Uh I love you too. It's great to see you back. Yeah. Dude, there's a bunch of times where I thought about you out there where I'm like, you would love NASCA Lines was one. I'm like, Joe Rogan would love the Mayan Temples, you would love it. I I went to Chichen Itza once, way back in the early days. El Salvador you would have loved. I'm sure. Sure. Just with like for the stuff you're into, there was so much. Anyway, well, I love you, buddy.

I love you too. Hi everybody.