¶ Kill Tony's Success and Canine Companions
The Joe Logan experience. Name here, man. Life is good. Happy to be in Austin, Texas. Happy to have ya. Are you doing Kill Tony tonight? I'll show up at Kill Tony tonight. Nice. Of course. My guy. So happy for him. Yeah, he's killing it. He always uh talks about it. As his early uh supporter Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Uh he's the best. I mean that show is on fire. It's a fucking runaway train right now. Everywhere I go. Kill Tony, Kill Tony, Kil Tony. Love you on God.
It's such a fun show. You know what a great idea. Kind of amazing. Nobody thought it up. Well, he just kinda put his open mics on his roasts and his personality and his friends and his built a community. Amazing. Oh it's incredible. He's the new Johnny Carson. I mean think about how many like Adam Ray's killing it, selling out giant theaters. All these guys that, you know, came through that show are fucking destroying. No. This is our tribe, Joe. No? I love it.
It's amazing. It's a good time for comedy. Did I hear that you have a German shepherd? No. No, I have a golden retriever and I have a a cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Oh, okay. Little tiny fella. No. I love German Shepherds. but I have a German show. They're the best. You have to exercise the shit out of them though. Yeah. They need work. Oh yeah. Climb and adventures. They need tasks. They're not like my golden. He's just cool, just chilling, laying on his back, getting his belly ready.
Oh I follow him on Instagram, don't worry. He's the best. mean, they're a very low maintenance dog and he he's trained. He he you could train'em very easily, but as far as like guard dog and that kind of thing. Useless. My dog. My dog can like sit, stay and run around frantically. I'll be like, run around frantically and she'll just run. Well they have so much energy. Those dogs are just designed to work.
I put her to work for two months this summer on Broadway. She came out at the end of my show and howled with me in the audience. She can howl on cue? She we taught her I had the same trainer that did the Sandy from the show Annie, like from uh when I was a kid. Bill Bertalone, and he's like, I could teach her. She's like a wild rescue German shepherd from the desert, and there she was, like came out. Jumped on a couch, hit her mark, turned to the audience and we like sang. Oh, that's awesome.
She had her own dressing room.
¶ Dog Rescue, Training, and Bonding
Ha ha ha. Nipsey. Her name's Nipsey. And you know, and then when the job was o you know, when the run was over, she was like, No more work, now y I need something else to do Yeah, they need things to do. Like people that just have them and have them in an apartment and don't go anywhere, like that's a crazy thing to do to a dog like that. Yeah. Oh, look at Oh my god. Look how sweet. She is a little bit more. Where'd you find her? They found her in a in a
Bummy uh uh breeder in Reno during the pandemic. I had an old dog. I had an old finger dog. My ex found on the And we took care of her at the beginning of the pandemic. The ex left left the dog. So it's just me and this old beat up street dog for a few months and the vet was like, I got another a puppy, a German sheriff. Oh she was a puppy? This one was, yeah. So now it's like five years. My bestie and and and
And we do everything. I mean I just love her to pieces. Like I can't uh even c getting on the plane to come here yesterday as a part of me was like, Should I bring her let her run around the four C for a couple of days and whatever? But Yeah. It's hard leaving'em. It's it's like I have a kid. Uh they look she looks at me looking for the buzzwords. Are we going, are we staying? Are we eating? I know they get separation anxiety. And they get very attached to one person.
Yeah. Like you're her daddy. She just she'll lay in bed, wait she never wakes me, rolls over. Arms up, ready to get she can't start the day without a full belly rub. Like I almost like hold her legs and play her like a guitar. Ha ha ha ha. And she just you know, tongues out, just complete euphoria. Once a week I take all her collars off and just rub the neck and just her eyes start watering.
Highly ra I never was into dogs. I'm slightly allergic. My sister got snapped on by a Doberman when we were little, so I was always a little fr afraid. And then it was just kind of forced on me during the pandemic as all these dogs needed homes. So now here I am, I'm a frickin' doggy daddy. Oh I love dogs. I've always had dogs. I will never not. I love it. I love them.
Just these amazing creatures that just love the shit out of you. And especially if you train them from the time they're puppies and you give them nothing but love. Yeah. Like they're so connected to you. And then you know It's just awesome. You wake up in the morning and it's always positive. It's always, Hello, hello. I wake up with Marshall and he starts whining and whimpering and he like I I do this thing in the morning. I go, Good morning, sir. Good morning, sir. Woo!
Oh he's wagging his tail and he's rolling around on his back and I'm rubbing his belly and he's giving me kisses. He he loves it. He lov he gets so excited to see me in the morning. It's like his his ritual. He knows the ritual's coming. He's gonna get all this love. Does he sleep in your room? No. Right. But uh he is he's just a giant love spot. That's what he is.
It's like he loves everybody. Everybody comes in the house, like you meet you for the first time, he's like, I can't believe you're here He's just so excited to meet everybody. My dog's w checks everybody. She's gotta like check them out. German Shepherd. It's different. And if somebody has a chemical imbalances or a little off, she lets me know. Oh yeah. You got screwball friends? Yeah. Well every now and then, you know, comics will be off their mints and they'll come
Like I used to know that person. I don't know that person anymore. The dog just like alerts me. Oh that's interesting. Yeah, they're very watchful. You know, they're they're shepherds. They're protecting you. They're protecting their their daddy.
¶ Dog Communication and Intelligence
I've only flown with her twice, but once you know once to New York and then once to the back after we were done on Broadway and she's like it was nine months later. She literally knew how to walk on the plane, where to go, where her seat was, like remembers everything like a person. They're very Very smart dogs. It's one of the reasons why they need so much exercise. Like the dumbest dogs. Yeah. Especially shepherds, because they're working dogs.
If I leave her alone too long, she'll dig up the backyard. Yeah, they get crazy. They're like an athlete. Yeah. You know, they just they need work. They need to go. And they don't eat a lot of food. She's she's like What do you feed her? You know, I used to overfeed her and give her a lot of table scraps and spoiler and then I learned more recently that if I keep her to like a cup and a half of kibble a day that the vet recommended Oh, interesting. Yeah. I I used to feed my dogs kibble too.
I had one dog that got cancer and I I read about all these dogs getting cancer and you know, they get fat so easy when you give'em kibble and it's just because that stuff can sit on a shelf forever. Yeah. It's like you wouldn't eat it. Why are they eating it? It's not healthy for them. Sometimes I put a little turkey in the
Turkey's great. Real food is great. Real real food for your dog is the way to go. I feed my dog farmer's dog. It's uh it comes frozen. It has to be frozen. Right. And the way they attack it versus the way they attack kibble.
Like Kimball's like, Okay, they're eating, no big deal. Yeah. But they just can't wait to eat this stuff. Like they get excited, like the little guy, the little Charlie, he literally leaps up in the air trying to get to the counter where when I'm putting the food on his bowl. He gets nuts. They love it. It's real food. It's human grade food for dogs. Check that out.
Oh yeah. It comes frozen. And also they give it to you the right portions for your dog. Right. So you don't have to think about it. Like you you put in your dog's weight, what breed your dog is. And you know, whether your dog's overweight or not and they they measure it out calorie wise, so it's specific. My dog's weight is good, but I gotta get her to stop.
You know what it's funny? She used to really hate when I light up a joint and she'd when she was little she'd run in the other room. But now she's just like oh that's Well she'd probably get a little paranoid. I used to have a pit bull that she would get paranoid. When we got high. And I was realizing, oh, this poor dog, she's getting high too. She was a rescue dog too. I found her. She was covered in mange. It was so sad. She was eating out of garbage. It's heartbreaking.
Yeah. A friend of mine found her and uh they took her in for and then they called me and they said, Do you want another dog? I had one dog already. I said, Absolutely. And as soon as I saw her, I was like, Oh. They're good together. It was so horrible. She was covered in mane. She had little scabs on her and everything. It all went away within like two months of of food. But that dog, because of living on the street.
She could never get enough food. She was always like raiding garbage cans and stuff. Like you'd have to lock up the garbage can, strap it down with a bungee cord. Right. She would tip'em over and she was uh never full. Even though she would like get fat, she would ne she was never full. Just in case. It was just you know she was starving when I'm when I found her.
The I I had the old dog first, and then the young German shepherd, so the old one had all these street habits and she taught him to the young dog like the young dog Walks down the stairs as if she has a broken back hip. Oh no, she learned how to get in the car from an old dog, so two legs. But she still goes two f two paws up and I have to pick her up.
¶ Diverse Dog Personalities and Play
Yeah, that's how Marshall does. Over protective like the old dog. Yeah, Marshall, I think he probably could jump in my car, but it's like he knows I'll just lift him up'cause I've done it since I was a puppy. So we do this little thing, I go, You ready? He puts his paws on, I go, one, two, three. It's always one, two, three, up. So he gets ready. Do they ha did they talk to you? My dog howls with me in the morning.
Marshall only talks when he wants to come inside. Like if he's outside he'll just bark once at the door just to let you know. He's really good. He's the best dog. What does this bark sound like? Let me in. It's like, Hey, I'm out of here. Come on. You know, he's out till he's not, you know, he's outtil he's bored. And then he just lets you know. If it's not annoying.
The old dog if I had to put her like if like a guy came over to work on the house or something I had to put her like in a bedroom or a bathroom. She she was she was a you know, big, big dog. She would gnaw on the handles. So I have a house full of like chrome uh door handles that all have like bite marks in it. Like the the bite is amazing. Yeah, you gotta give them things to chew.
You know, there's chew toys all over my house. Yeah. Everywhere. My dog has uh Marshall has like a big box filled with toys. And it was like and he just goes in and picks one out. Randomly. I go, what are you gonna get? Which toy? And he's like looking around. Picks one out. And then him and the little dog they play Tugga War. It's adorable. I got a toy. Oh my god. The easiest dog to get along with he gets along with everything and everybody.
Jamie's d Jamie's got a psycho dog. Jamie's got this little French bulldog that's like a little a little meat missile. He's a nut. He's great. He's awesome. Oh yeah, he's he's nut Carl. He's a little psycho. He's he's jacked. He's super jacked. He's like this little French bulldog. He's just fucking jacked. And him and Marshall just play insane. They ins it's insane. Like Carl throws himself through the air at Marshall. 'Cause he knows that Marshall's like super gentle and they just play back.
It's a door. If a dog is small enough. Like a little Chihuahua type dog, they can put their head inside my dog will just open her mouth and let another dog just roll her head inside her mouth. No instant. Yeah, it's crazy. Just wants it to play. It's just nuts that they those used to be wool. They've turned wolves into these little tiny things you could carry around. I mean i i in a thousand years they'll be are they getting smarter the way humans are evolving, I wonder.
You know, th some dogs are like the dogs that are trained, like a Belgian Malamois, those are really smart dogs. You know, those are dogs, military dogs. Yeah. Those those dogs, you cannot just leave that dog alone. No. Like it's like a shepherd times ten. Yeah. They look like shepherds sort of, but they those dogs, they're so intelligent. You know, they they are constantly scanning everything and looking for everything. They know when you're weird, they know everything. Right.
Yeah. So those dogs have to be smart because they have jobs, you know. They use them like those are the dogs they sicked on like Osama bin Laden's crew. Right. You know, they open the door and they breach, dogs run in. Incredible. Yeah. My dog's for a whip. So's mine. Yeah, those are the only dogs that well I've had a couple of dogs before. Like I had a a dog that was a Shibu Inu mix and he was kind of a pussy. Um but and I had a a mastiff before that. But mostly I've had like big Thank you.
Yeah, this is these are the dogs. first dogs I've had that are they're not garden shit. They guard your emotions, buddy.
¶ The Unconditional Love of Dogs
¡Suscríbete! They're just sweet. They're just awesome to have. It's like you just have love around you all the time and they're never in a bad mood. There's never a day where he's never had a bad day in his life. Every day is a great day. Every day is happy. Even if you're not there? Well, he gets sad if I'm not there for sure. But like I pull out the ball, it's always the same thing. It's never like one day I'm like, maybe he's gonna get bored of this fucking ball. Nope. I pull out that ball.
Oh! The ball! The ball! Let's go! Yeah. Bouncing around, wagging his tail, jumping up. I got a ball with it's got like the stick, like it's like a long curved stick so you could throw the ball for Yeah, of course. And you know, he just just starts leaping up towards the stick. He gets so pumped. I'm like, one day he's gonna get bored of this. Nope. He's nine years old, he's never gotten bored of this.
When I come up the stairs if she sees that I have my sneakers on, she starts stretching like an Olympian Let's go. Time to go. Yeah. Dogs are awesome. People that don't have'em, I feel bad for them. Like you're missing a lot of love in your life. Especially like people that live alone. You know, it's like you always have a friend. You always have someone you I talk to my dog. Like I have conversations with them. Yeah. Yeah. And that does does does Marshall look you in the eyes? Oh yeah.
It's a real friend. Oh he's he's like the most loving creature I've ever encountered. Do you tell the dog stuff you wouldn't tell your family? Sometimes I'm like, hey Nipsey man, I probably shouldn't have said that. Yeah, she she has emotional and like she knows when I'm happy, sad, nervous, sick. Mostly it's baby talk. Mostly he's like Yeah. He watches TV with me. He climbs up on the couch and sits on my lap. He puts his head on my lap.
Yeah. And when there's animals on TV, he parks his head up. Yeah. You know, because it's a big TV, and so he's like, What the fuck is that? Is that real? He has to
¶ AG1 and House of Cards Fallout
And the old dog, which was ol you know, on her deathbed but wise, street wise. She was on the floor and the puppy was up on my bed and it was her first night in a home and I put on TV, I put on um households. And it was this daunting kind of scary music. And the dog's just watching, and it's like a shadowy figure. It was Kevin Spacey coming down the hall as and as Like man was revealed full screen on a big screen. Nipsey did a backflip, fell off the bed and ran and hit in the closet.
And the old dog Nata was like, Oh boy, she had to like pull herself up at her bad legs and w and and go in the closet and tell her to come back out. Uh listen, it's T V. It's almost time for spring break. So maybe you're headed to the beach, or maybe you're taking the kids on a road trip, or maybe you're just taking some extra time for yourself. No matter what, you deserve a break and a reset and AG1 can help.
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in your welcome kit with your first subscription. That's in one hundred and eleven dollar value at drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan. House of Cards, what a fucking show that was. Oh what a fucking show. They never should have done that last season. Once Kevin Spacey got canceled, they should have been. It was done. Or, you know, not. It's crazy. I saw him he was in Israel doing some weird thing where he was like doing like a song and dance routine in a small club.
Like he's been kind of reduced to doing that for money. Is that reduced or is that part of the con No. I mean it's something. I mean I guess he's just making money. You know, he is completely bankrupt.
¶ Kevin Spacey, Power, and Hollywood
It's crazy. Well it's not just show business, right? It's uh it's also No, what'd you get caught for? No one really likes it. Some gay guys do, I think. I think what he did probably worked on some guys. You know what I'm saying? Right. Like gay guys have a whole different way of interacting with each other that we don't have. But I think with space. Some of those fellows were young.
It's power, it's like in the gay community there's a lot of guys that think it's okay for young gay guys who are underage to uh hook up with older gay It's uh that's like Milo Eannopoulos, remember him? He actually talked about that on my show. He was talking about when he was fourteen he hooked up with this This older guy and he's like, Trust me, I was the predator. He's like saying that he was going after the guy.
But it's different in their eyes. I mean, I'm just speaking for gay guys that I'm talking to. It's different in their eyes than you know an adult male in their But Kevin Spacey's a fucking unbelievable actor. That fucking house of cards was so good. It was so good. Such a good show. I'm glad it's still out there. It was good. It made me miss and rewatch West Wing. That's how good it was. Mm. I haven't I never watched that. I I think I maybe watch one or two episodes.
It's like an idealistic version of what power is. Could be. Right. Martin Sheen is like the president we wish we had. Like a really But he's also controversial. He's hiding a medical thing. It like we got way ahead of a lot of the modern day. Yeah. Wife's a doctor. Well we always have these idealistic ideas of who we want to do. And the thing about the Kevin Spacey character is like, that's probably more Like that guy is more realistic.
Well, as we get older we understand you gotta be There's got to be a certain killer instinct. You also most likely deeply confident. Which is the only way you navigate those worlds like
¶ Comedy Life and Personal Discipline
Everybody. Everybody shut party. Ha ha ha. I couldn't get in just for the record. Yeah, me neither. Uh Yeah, I don't want I don't want to get in. I know. That's a good thing. A dog can kind of save your career. get invited to some wild sex party, be like, I gotta my dog's been waiting for me for five hours. Sorry, I I can't go.
Yeah, meanwhile, it's better to just hang out with your dog. You'll have a better time and you won't feel gross in the morning, I guess. But I think all those people are so I was out all weekend for the Fanatics football. Travis Scott's DJing the three in the morning. What is the fanatics football stuff? They have a flag football tournament in LA. It was supposed to be in in Riyadh and they had Tom Brady. What's the fanatic?
It's like uh um I guess it's a branding company. They do all the jerseys, they do all the Michael Rubin and Michael Ratner, two friends of mine. Flag football game and I was just partying. I just took the weekend off and I'm like seeing all the football players and It was just so much fun. Just as the party's really getting hot I'm like I miss my
Yeah, there's always this thing in the back of your head, like I gotta get home. He's been home alone for five hours. He's been home alone for six hours He has to pee. He's a good boy. He's not gonna pee in the house, but he's probably holding it in and upset. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it nuts? Like people think especially comics, you know, we want Getting drunk, fucking off, being retarded, doing drugs. When we get home, chill out, relax.
I feel like if I had a dog when I was starting out in comedy, I I would have been more disciplined. I would have been coming home as I kinda regret that.
¶ Living with FOMO and Life's Process
You regret staying out all night? I mean I w you know you know how it is, you you do your set, you start hanging out in the club, in the comedy club and drinking or eating or but there's a certain... अगा हम You're up earlier. Oh absolutely. You know, it's also you feel like you're a part of a different society. Society of people who don't have a regular job, you got freedom, you're your own boss.
I grew up I lost my parents as a teenager. So I live er f I live every day like I could die tomorrow. So I never wanna leave. I have ultimate FOMO I never want to miss. I went to the Super Bowl. I went to All Star Weekend. I want to go to the Grammys. I love life. I want to make the most out of it. It works against me sometimes. That's interesting, right? You really want, you you, you really relish life. You want to make the most out of it. You want to enjoy it while it's here.
One of the things I say on my show is I learned early on human beings were made to and move on. You can't mourn forever or a part of It gave me this sort of zest for the Mm. You're afraid at any second. It c you know, it's hard to make long term Are your parents still alive? Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's amazing. Sometimes when you lose people young, you're afraid you're old you live in the constant fear.
Yeah. I've lost a lot of friends. Like sometimes I look at my my contact list when I get a new phone, you know, and you're swapping over contact. Yeah, I've got like twenty dead people. Some of'em I just keep in there, you know. I I I I got old phones where like board dames texting me. I look at both. I listened to Gilbert Godfrey. Yeah, I know what you mean, yeah. It just it brings me right back to that. Those two guys.
¶ Celebrating Comedy Legends
Well, yeah. that Adam Egat took. At Jones Restaurant. show that in my I do a tribute to Gilbert who There it is. There it is. Bob who just became a grandfather. They left quite a legacy those guys and I really loved them and they would make me laugh. You know, I would just set them up. Laughing. The king. Such a great guy. He's so funny too. And his clips, I don't know if it's my algorithm or what, but you would think Norm is making comedy content every day if you looked at my algorithm.
Well mine too. I think a lot of people. So like people just share'em'cause it you know, he had so many funny things to say about everything and such a unique perspective. Just a unusual state of mind. Canadians. I have a theory that Canadians I'm from New Jersey, so I feel like New Jersey I grew up as an outsider T V stations and Canada has that with America. Bye. So I think they always feel like comedians feel like outsiders a little bit. I feel like can Harland. He's Canadian.
Canadian comedians, you could go all day. Yeah. Jim Carrey. Jim Carey. Caroline Ray. A lot more. John Candy, right? Yeah, John Candy was a Canadian, yeah. Uh Martin Short. Is he? He is. Yeah. He had a rough month, he said. Oh, he was brilliant. I was fucking crazy. That's what a birthday party. It's like Paul Rudd's fiftieth birthday. remember everybody's like, let's do karaoke and nobody wanted to start. Everybody was too like shy to like do karaoke.
Martin Short walked up to the mic, belted out like a Sinatra song, dropped a mic, and walked out to the valet. It left. Just like kick that off and then. Fly me to the moon and he was gone.
¶ Patrice O'Neal and Charlie Sheen Tour
It's weird when you get b older and you realize how many And you know, you just watch old clips. I went on a binge a few months back of him on Opi and Anthony. Ruthless. If he was alive today. Yeah. Yeah. If he had a podcast.'Cause he probably would have. He probably I mean it's a perfect normal transition from Opie and Anthony to podcasting. Right. He would uh he would Yeah, it d it wouldn't matter. He would be dressing him down. Yeah, we said the funny.
Patrice's greatness at the Charlie Sheen roast I always talk about. Yeah. He was we booked him late. He never wanted to do a roast. And he said, I don't know this one, I don't know that one and finally I called him. I don't know Charlie Sheen, but I think I'm not sure. I go you know him, you don't know him but you know what he and he goes, All right, I'm coming. He dresses total rock star, like a leather suit, like this whole Fantasy picture. And then the data.
Trees fuck all that, pay attention and roast the roast. Just roast the roast. Make mental notes, clock it all, let them see you taking it in and then just go on. No, it was brilliant. Did you see Charlie Sheen's uh Netflix documentary? I have it. It's fucking great. It's crazy. Like he talks about everything. Talks about this first time he smoked crack. A girl was giving him a blowjob when he smoked crack. Yeah. Wow. Makes you want to try it. Mm-hmm.
Well he was a fascinating guest too, having him in here. It's like that guy's been through so much shit and he's okay. you know it's like how is he alive Some people are just different, right? Tiger blood? I was on tour with them that whole time. Right, that's right. You were doing that thing with him. So what happened was when he got kicked off at two and a half men and he went kind of kooky, he decided to do this whirlwind tour. And the first one he did he tried to go and just wing it.
Torpedo of truth. Yeah. That's what he called. The winging it one did not work. No. But then when he started doing it with you and he did it with Russell, Russell Peters did a bunch of them with him. Uh-huh. With comics, it actually worked. 'Cause like he would have someone to bounce stuff off of and they knew how to be entertaining and keep the flow going. Right. Yeah. And then you got into those stories and it was amazing. Yeah. And it totally turned around.
¶ Charlie Sheen's 'Fuck You' Tour
The first one I did was in Atlantic City and he called me the night before. Yeah. I was in LA at a party and everyone's like, Yeah, yeah, go do it, go do it. So I caught a like six AM flat. Called you the night before, what did he say? He's like my shows aren't going good. Every I didn't know him. He goes, uh you know Uh all these different people keep telling me uh Simon Rex, you know, other friends of his kept saying Jeff Ross could come out and roast.
So I just wrote jokes all night. Uh you know, left the party, wrote jokes, caught at six A. M. flew. I walk into his dressing room like an hour before. Chuck Zito is literally staring me down. You know, like they're they're just trying to scare me. And I'm like, I'm here to like war I'm a comedian, you know? And uh
Charlie was really cool and uh and uh I told his road manager, he goes what do you need? I go I need Uh a podium to roll out I wanna make it like a show and I need a hazmat suit'cause he'd been bombing I go, I heard there's a bomb scare and I roll out and it's Jersey, so it's my crowd and I just start roasting And it went well enough. I was like, If you're winning'cause he's he's always like winning, winning I'm like, If you're winning, something's wrong with the fucking scoreboard
Old Jeff with hair, duh winning. Look at that. Boy he looks so skinny. Whoo that's a that's a look of a guy who does coke. Look how ripped he is. And he was he was up all night. We had w he was like So he was still partying hard back then. Good to be. He didn't let me see that side of it. I'm sure he was. There's no chance he was clean. Oh that's right, it was a warlock. A warlock with tiger blood. Right. Violent torpedo of truth turf kicks off in Detroit. TV star is booed off stage.
Yeah. So then after that they s he they kept calling and going, Can you do this date? and c do that date. It was like more money than I'd ever made for a one nighter, so I just started started getting on the bus and the plane with'em and How many days you guys did? I wound up I wound up doing eight. And Russell, how many did you Yeah. So you just had different comics who else did? I don't remember anyone. That's news to me that Russell. Yeah, Russell did a few, at least one I know of.
May there might have been some in Canada. Well Russell's really good off the cuff. You know, Russell's great work in the crowd. I think Russell interviewed. I think Russell like that like that. Yeah, I think that's how he did it.'Cause now it occurs to me that he had interviewed And I and he had a radio guy and I think maybe Russell might have
That's a smart way to do it. Have someone who's smart and quick just interview because the stories are so bananas. Yeah. All you need is the stories. Just ha and he was so open about stuff, talking about how much crack he would smoke and You know, it was just so insane. And everybody was so happy that someone was instead of hiding from the fact that they fucked their life up, they were like celebrating that they were off the rail. And everyone's like, ah, tiger blood.
I remember even Diego Sanchez who was fighting in the UFC was saying he had tiger blood. That's how fucking that's how popular it was getting. Yeah, he's he was a he was a thing. Yeah, it was a thing. But it was a new thing, right? It was a movie star who had gone off the rails and was like celebrating it and being open and honest in interviews about prostitutes, cocaine, chaos.
Everything. All the above. Yeah. It was a totally new experience for the general public'cause before if someone had an addiction problem it was like, Oh, so sad. Right. He was doing Coke and you know My life had fallen apart and then I found Jesus. Right. You know, it's like always one of those things. He wasn't on an apology to her. Yeah, a hundred percent. And no one had ever done that before. No one had ever done a fuck you tour before. Uh
I mean it was a little ill advised the first ones, you know, when he went on by himself. Like that was a terrible idea. You can't just wing it. Or he would take questions but there's fifteen thousand people yelling at him. Right. If you're gonna take questions, it would have to be a person who's a moderator who has a microphone and talks to another person and is there so they can keep it from going off the rails, and then a line of people. You can't just have people yelling at you.
One night one night somebody wanted his money. And he brought the guy up and gave him his money back and then of course like four hundred people stood up like I want my money back Oh no. He would get in a he would hear the audience too much. Yeah. Well he no experience. Right. If you think you could just do live audience and deal with fifteen thousand people's different personalities, then you don't know what that's like. Right. Good luck.
Well we wound up doing eight shows and I would always roast them so by the eighth show I had twenty minutes of Charlie Sheen material. Every city I'd add jokes. So that's when I was like, Why don't we just do this on T V? I mean we have the roast and then Nice. Patrice and all that. It's a really interesting career arc with him. He was on the set of Apocalypse Now with his father when he was ten. Right. And then ten years later he was doing
His fucking big war movie. Jesus Christ. Why am I blanket? Platoon. He was doing Platoon when he was twenty. Yeah. Which is nuts. Ten years later. I mean he's doing the next iconic war movie. Right. And he's a twenty year old kid and then all of a sudden he's a fucking superstar. And he's just off the rails. Just like no restrictions. He's rich. He's young. He's handsome. He's just going crazy doing drugs. But he made it through it all. That's what's nuts. Check that.
It's great. He's a great interview too. Like like having him on the podcast was fucking great. Like he's a really nice guy. He's very cool and honest about it all. And you know, and he's also like, Hey, you know, I can still act. Like how about I've fucking paid my dues, I've been sober for seven years. Like, give me a shot. Yeah. He can still act.
¶ Tarantino, Career Revivals, Sean Penn
He's a character. I hope someone does do something like that. I'cause I feel like if one big movie came along, like maybe Tarantino could put him in because he's the master at like reviving careers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What he did with Travolta and Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction, like Travolta was Dead on the operating. into his career before Pulp Fiction. Pulp fiction came along and boom, he's back.
'Cause they realized like, oh shit, John Travolka John Travolta can fucking act. And that that role was perfect for him. Vince, he played this crazy hitman with Samuel Jackson. Fucking what a movie. I watch it all the time. Yeah, it completely revived his career. Yeah, he's the like Quentin Tarantino is like the master of seeing things
And I was like, That guy's still great. Yeah. And I think that's like the case with Charlie. Like someone's gotta come along and see and just go, I just need to get him a Raw. Where he just can really sink his teeth into it and he'll fucking kill it. Especially now at this stage of his life where he knows how important it is, he'll throw himself into it. Right. It'd be fucking amazing.
Well, like some people don't act for a long time and then look what Sean Penn just did. He just and he came back after God knows how long. totally iconic, y unrecognizable, strange character. I didn't see that movie. I've I've heard all these mixed reviews. Somebody Trevor, it's interesting to see Sean's take on Look, Sean Penn's out of his fucking mind, but that's the kind of guy that makes a great actor and a great actor. Yeah. Cool. Go hang out. Go hang out with my boy Zelensky at Duke Coke.
Pure Russian coke. Ha ha ha. I like how you think that's what they were doing. I'm just guessing. Haha. I'm just taking a wild guess. But that that guy, I mean, how about him? Like goes and fucking meets the drug lord. What's his name? What's wrong with my brain today, Jamie?
¶ Sean Penn's El Chapo Encounter
Um, what the fuck's his name? The dude he met in Mexico. The guy who got arrested? El Chapo. El Chapo. Went down and met Al Chapo and that's how El Chapo wound up getting arrested. Right. We wanted to meet Sean Penn. Sean Penn's like, all right, I'll go meet he wrote an article for like Rolling Stone. He like was a journalist. Right. memory. By the way, that shirt, Connor McGregor um bought a shirt that's like exactly like that shirt and recreated that pose.
with I forget who he shook hands with, but it was like this like funny inside joke that a lot of people didn't catch. It's like why is he wearing that shirt? And people realize, oh my God, he's wearing the El Chapo. Oh my god. Pizza. He bought a similar shirt. He's like literally doing that.
He's so silly. He dressed his gangster El Chop. He's literally doing the thing. But he did it on purpose. Not I mean it takes insane balls to be a world famous actor and decide I'm gonna go meet a drug lord in Mexico and write an article for He's an adventurer. Things are part of'em, not all of'em. I mean you must be he's in fucking Ukraine. Like what is he doing? being at a party, Eddie Vetter's birthday party, and Sean Penn walked in with Stormy Daniel.
Like he has friends from the most Diverse places. Zelensky, stormy,
¶ Comedy Impressions and Music Debates
Have you seen uh Kyle Dunegan's face swap things with Trump and Stormy Daniels? Kyle Donnegan. He's another guy that got revived by Kill Tony or emer like really got the world got to see him. Like we did we covered his face swap videos a bunch of. And blew them up, but to see him as these characters, like when he plays RFK Jr., when he plays Elon, like that is what really like kicked off Kyle's career. It is R FK. Zelon so good. That's when he first started.
about it. I try to play the Bill Maher impression with Bill Maher when he was in there. If she goes, If you play it I'll leave Why does he care? He's out there doing his show, hanging out with political people, being all serious. Wants to be a I was on his podcast and like he literally I go, The Ramones are great He's like, No they're not I'm like, uh uh all right. Rock and roll high school's not great? Come on, son. The look, the crazy hair. All of it. The remote's one of the greatest.
The Ramones ruled. They were ruled. Never had a song over two minutes and five seconds. How can you say they're not great? Place to go see them in college, man. You don't have to like it, but you you gotta admit there's there's a reason why people love them.
¶ Public Relationships and Scrutiny
Right. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, man. Like I was having an argument with someone about there was like Taylor Swift's all dumb music. I go, No, it's not She's got some great songs. No body, no crimes, a great fucking song. By the way, Anybody who writes their own music and produces their own
Oh, so it's like do you think you're smarter than everybody who loves her? Like she's she's literally got more fans than anybody alive. And you think they're all wrong? That's kind of crazy. Like you just you don't have to like it. You don't have to like it. But there's there's like people have closed minds. I met her at Oscar's party. She introduced hers I was talking to Travis. She was uh I was talking to Travis for a few minutes.
I really respect. And she was super cool, man. And she was really cool actually. And I told her that I went to her error show and she Did you really? She said she watches the sh the Rose. Oh that's fine. It was pretty cool. I wonder when they make love if they're Why why why do you think they were Halmock? Travis and Sweet and passionate. You have your fantasies, I have mine. Shoulder pads, cleats. Yeah. Going for it on Astro Turf. He's a nice guy. No, never metal. He'd be.
Good. It's interesting when people are public, like a public relationship like that. It's like that's a lot of pressure.
¶ Celebrity Downfalls & Public Cruelty
And then you're putting it all out there in the world and like everybody's judging you like It's hard enough to keep a relationship together. But keep a relationship together when you have to field everyone's opinions of you. Especially like Taylor Swift,'cause how many fucking songs does she have about ex boyfriends? Right. It's like gee. If you break up with her, the fuck a distract of the universe is coming your way. Ha ha.
Yeah, right. Kendrick Drake, fuck that. Just don't break up with Taylor. Exactly. Yeah. But it's just like you're doing it in front of the world and you're you're inviting all of the shittiest people in the world to have their opinions about you. That really pissed me off. A two or three year old video of him getting a DUI. Yeah, oh I did. Why does that need to be out there?
How is that a legal thing to take like a pr a video of someone being arrested? Like why is that? Because he's a public figure? Why is Why isn't that private? I don't understand. Yeah. And there was nothing outrageous about it. Hassling this guy and bringing up old news. It really bugged me.
I mean, there was nothing outrageous about it. I mean he was very calm and relaxed and you know, they arrested him for D UI. They you know, they asked him a few questions. There was nothing about it that was You know, like oh look at Justin Timberlake, he's off the rails, he's acting crazy. So it's like he had a few drinks. Probably should have drove. Drove. Got caught. That's it. Right. It happens to a lot of people. Yeah. And whatever, just'cause he's famous or whatever.
He wasn't acting like an asshole. He didn't do anything terrible. And you know, and everybody wants like Right. You have so much money and you still got caught. You know, obviously get a driver, dude. Right. He's too hamped. Thank you. Yeah, that's probably it, right? That's where all the rich people drink and drive. But uh Well I I don't I don't get having to torture somebody by religion. Well I mean all he has to do is
It'll go away. But it's like, why is it okay to release that? Why is that a public record thing? Unless there's like some. Even if there's a case. That should be something that gets released in court. No, they released it as uh public information. Why? I don't know. Why'cause he sings? 'Cause we live in a cruel fucking world, that's why. Yeah. We we live in a place where people enjoy cruelty.
¶ Alan Ritchson Altercation
They enjoy well it's like you look at him, you know, he's like super famous, married to what's her name? Who's he married to? Jessica. Jessica Beale. Jessica Beale. Beautiful woman. Yeah. Right? He's got this perfect life, he's rich, he's famous, he can dance, he can sing, he's tall. He's handsome. He's a star when he was young. Fuck that guy. You know that's how everybody is. Yeah.
Bitch, you've been drunk before too. Shut the fuck up. Right. And if you haven't, fuck you. If you've never been drunk, fuck you. Unless like But it's like why is that something that people are I saw it came across my uh my newsfeed and I I looked at it for a few seconds. I was like there's nothing outrageous.
But you see Alan Richmond though? No. The guy who plays Reacher? He beat the fuck out of some guy in front of some kids today? Yeah. Or yesterday. It was crazy. He that guy's a giant dude. You know that show Reacher? Yeah, I heard of it. He's fucking huge and jacked, and he was riding dirt bikes and he got in some altercation with his neighbor and someone filmed.
And, you know, he's all this hulking guy and I don't know what the circumstances were. Maybe the guy deserved it. Maybe the guy was a piece of shit. Maybe the guy came after him first. But all you see in the video is him beating this guy up.
And, you know, he's fucking this tank of a man. He's huge. He's like two hundred fifty pounds. And he's beating some guy's ass and then he gets back on his motorcycle and he's doing it in front of kids too, which is Well it's also it's like why you I I don't know what happened, so I don't really want to comment on the extenuating circumstances. Vertical. Right. Oh, the guy pushed him off the bike. Okay.
Well then that guy's just trying to get it you wanna see the video? Let's watch the video. So watch the video like so this is after you already beat the guy's ass. So he's punching the dude. Well the other guy's a big guy too. He might have just had a dicky neighbor. Boy, neighbors and like especially if you got a homeowner's association, they're some fucking shitheads. So this guy uh c so if the guy pushed him off the bike, I kind of understand.
The guy pushed him off the bike. He's lucky that's all he did too. This could be an eight-year-old. Yeah. This with tricycle. But those little kids that are there too, and he's yelling at'em and pointing at'em. But if he really did push him off the bike, that guy's a piece of shit. And he's lucky. And he look, he's an idiot,'cause he like even after he beat his ass, he's still getting in his face. And he's still talking shit.
Okay. Well that's a different story. Well that's good. That's good to know. Yeah, fuck that guy. You don't push someone off a bike and it's like use'cause the birth dirt bikes were loud and they were in the neighborhood. You know, turn your TV up. Shut the fuck up.
¶ Homeowners Association Tyranny
People are just so into everybody's business. I've watched so many videos of homeowners associations yelling at people for doing whatever, parking an old car in your driveway. Or just like pe people always love to tell people what they can and can't do. Right. I've had homeowners' associations before. I don't know if you've ever dealt with that. It is a fucking nightmare. You're you have to sit down and talk to these dorks who tell you what you should and shouldn't do with your fence. Yeah.
Yeah. Dude, I had a situation once where the there was all these wrought iron fences in my neighborhood. And I repaired my fence and I replaced it with a different wrought iron fence. And they said you can't have wrought iron fences. We have a new rule. It has to be equestring fence. I said, But it there's no consistency. I said the entire neighborhood has wrought iron fences. They said it doesn't matter. I said, Well let's go to court.
I go, I don't give a fuck. I go, I'll sue you. I go, I have money. I go, let's go to court. I go, I'm not taking my fucking fence down and like you're gonna take your fence down. I go, You're not gonna tell me anything. You're not gonna tell me what to do. Just because I go it looks great, it's not like it's a blight on the neighborhood. The house is beautiful. Shut the fuck up. And eventually I'm gonna go. Did you sue did you have to sue?
Well, I threatened to sue and they backed off'cause they were afraid of suing. They're afraid of lawsuits'cause then you'd have to they would have to use the homeowners association funds to do this. Right. And it didn't make any sense. Like I talked to a lawyer about it. I said, Does this make any sense? He goes, No, there's a precedent in the neighborhood.
Like every third house had wrought iron fencing. And it wasn't like it wasn't good looking. Like it was beautiful, it was new, it was clean. I had a reputable company build it. There's nothing wrong with it. And I was replacing wrought iron fence with more wrought iron fence. It was just better. It was like the fence was broken, it looked shitty, it was like, you know, they get rusty where they connect, and I had to get it replaced. So what on earth was their problem?
Cunts. Cunts. This is how cunty they are. I had a neighbor who he wo lived across the street. He told me that I had to trim my trees and thin them out so that he could see the view in the distance. And I said, What are you talking about? And he said, We have a regulation that says you can't obstruct the view. I go, these trees have been here for 50 years. And then I talk to the guy who sold me the house. He's like, that asshole was trying to do that with me too. Just tell him to fuck himself.
He's just a weird guy. He said he built an observation deck at the top of his hill in his backyard so he could see like the lights of the city in the distance and he wanted you to cut your trees down so You're obstructing the view. I go, your house is obstructing my view of this hill. I like to look at hills. Is that what we're gonna do? Take your house down. You take your house down and I'll trim these trees. Fuck you.
He's like, oh so it's gonna be like that. I go, gonna be like what? You want me to cut trees down so you could see like you don't have a view, man. You're not on the edge of the hill. You're you're back set. This is what the view looks like from where you are. Right. This house has been here before your house was there. Go eat shit. But it's like you would have done something.
I wouldn't have done a fucking thing. It's not a it didn't make any sense. It's just people want to tell people what to do. Like I was reading this article where this homeowners association hired a tow company to go around the neighborhood and tow all the cars that had expired tax. Can you imagine? Like you know your your tags expired, like ah fuck I'll get to it. I'm I'm busy. I'll get to it next week. You know, you figure you just run it around. And then all of a sudden they tow your car.
Like fuck you, man. Like fuck you. It's just people love to tell other people what to do. And homeowners associations, when they get power, they become like the little hall monitors of the neighborhood. You know, your grass is unruly. You it's supposed to be two inches, it's four. Like ugh just people. People love to do that. They love to tell people what to do and what not to do. I have one neighbor who kinda runs.
She puts everyone on an email chain and she's pretty she leads with But she looks like that. Well as long as I'm looking out's not bad. Like the guy wanted me to trim the trees. He wanted me to thin out my tre you want me to chop the trees down? He goes, No, I just want you to thin them out. You can thin them out. I go, What you what are you talking about? Chop all the leaves off so that you could see lights in the distance?
Yeah. It was like the dumbest conversation and he realized while we're in the middle of the conversation how dumb this
¶ Wildfires and HOA Extremism
Right. And then we never talked again. And I would see him occasionally. Isn't there a safety issue with trimming your trees, like thinning them out? Well, I mean where we were The real issue is brush. The real issue is th the ground. You know, dried brush on the ground. We were evacuated from where I live three times. No, this is in California. Yeah, yeah.
And when uh I lived in California the last big fire in two thousand eighteen we lost three houses in front of our house and my neighbor's house caught on fire. But uh I had one my my crazy friend Bud would not leave the neighborhood. They evacuated the whole neighborhood. He wouldn't leave. He's like I'm staying he's like I'm staying, I'm gonna save my house, I'm gonna save other people's houses and he fucking did.
He saved his house, he saved a b he saved my neighbor's house. He checked my neighbor's house, my roof the roof was on fire. He got water on it, he called the fire department. There was fire departments that were like trying to put out fires in the neighborhood the moment they started and they they hosed up. Mm-hmm.'Cause embers will fly and they land. Had it in LA.
It's spooky, man. It's the fires in California are no joke, man. It's it's really weird to see when it happens'cause you realize like how nature is completely in control. You just this storm of flames that comes over the hill. It's wild. It's it's wild and it cannot be controlled. And once it starts it's just a matter of trying to contain it and a certain amount of houses are just gonna go no matter what, depending on wh which way the wind blows. But that's was wasn't what the problem was.
Just a Just it's a homeowners association thing. It's just like people that think they like they there was a we I'm still a part of this email group that you know, I I'm still on the email of the homeowners association. One of the guys Um poisoned one of the people in the Homeowner Association's Yeah. Like he they got in some sort of a dispute about something and this guy poisoned his fucking dogs. Wow. Yeah. So sad. Evil.
But it's like that kind of thing. It's these people that just want to control their neighbors, man. It's so weird. What's the punishment? He should be shot. I mean you fucking piece of shit. That's like killing a family member. Eat whatever.
You should go to jail, for sure. I don't know what happened. I don't know if they caught the guy. I don't uh they they don't I don't think they know exactly who did it. They were they had no no video evidence. The person who lived there apparently didn't have good security. But um
There's just uh it's so weird. Like they would get mad at someone for the way they designed their house and I was like, What do you give a fuck? And he's like, this is like one of my neighbors built a house and my other neighbor go, What do you think about his house? I go,
Like I don't care. And he's like, I think it's ugly and this this house is gonna lower our property values. Like what what are you fucking talking about? Your house looks great. You have a beautiful house. You think people are gonna pay less for your house because this house is boring? Like this doesn't even make any sense.
It's but it's just people they nitpick and when they have control when people have control over other people's situ like they don't have control over their own life and their life is just a m sloppy mess. They always like to look at other people's lives, and I don't like where he puts his dumpster. It's a hater. Yeah. We all confront that all the time.
It's not just a hater, it's a hater with power because of homeowners' associations. And from that moment on, I decided I will never buy a home with a homeowner.
¶ Taekwondo: Discipline and Self-Respect
Never. No fucking chance. I don't care how cool they are,'cause someone not cool could move in and then it becomes a nightmare. I will never have conversations with those kind of people where they tell you what you could do with your lawn. When I was a young comic I lived with my grandfather in the house that I grew up in and we would never ever So I guess I've been the ISO.
My grandfather lived in the same house that he bought in the nineteen forties. And when he bought it in the nineteen forties, this was in uh it was an all Italian neighborhood in Newark. And then um Newark, New Jersey. No shit. Okay. That's where I learned karate. Is that really? From detectives in Newark. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you people don't know you're a black belt in Taekwondo. That's wild.
I mean I work out like you know, not with people but I I know my moves and I I do a few in the new Netflix special. I throw some kicks for fun and tell the story about getting a black belt at starting at six, getting bullied. My mom dragging me to the house with empty hands. That was what it was called. Ronnie Roselli, Newark detective, teacher Bicarati, almost like a father figure. Oh that's awesome. Gave me confidence.
Self-respect, respect for others taught me that hard work pays off. You know, when you get a black belt at ten and a half, you go, wow, maybe I could be something. I work as hard as I did at that. Maybe I could be good at something. Yeah, for sure. I mean it teaches you a lot about like a little bit of a little bit of a little
The belt system is really good'cause you get rewarded for your work and then you fe see like a tangible result. Instead of just like, Oh, I'm getting better. It's like, Oh, there's like a ceremony, like I've reached a new level. Yeah. Like now, you know now Some of my most cherished memories are those ceremonies of my dad and mom watching me get my brown belt, blue belt, brown belt, and black belt and competing in tournaments all over the East Coast. No, awesome.
Gary Alexander he threw new East Coast. I still have a room half a dozen karate trophies. That's awesome. It's the best time of my life. I lost most of my stuff but I do have a bunch of medals that I still Bunch of metals from the day. But it seems weird when I pick'em up. They don't even It's from another line. Oh, it's another life. Like I don't even I until I like hit a bag or something like that, I almost forget that I You know?
Yeah. I like Bla uh My kicks I can front snap kick, I can't sidekick. I got a belly. I've There's no real good reason. Other than I'm just You ever thought about like starting to take classes again? I if I I I I do think about it. I probably could. Yeah. You know, you're good at kick it uh of pushing me to do stuff. It'd be good for your health. Just take a class a couple of times a week. What would I take? If I was a black belt in Taekwondo.
Mundo. Just start taking that again. Yeah. Yeah, j I mean you're doing it for exercise. It's not like you're gonna fight in the UFC. No. Just go and start, you know, you'd probably Feel it a little bit and then you remember what you used to be able to do, and so your muscle memory would kick in. Yeah. You'd start probably watching your diet a little bit better. Right.
Drinking more water. Yeah. Taking vitamins than You next thing you know, four or five months have gone by and now your waist is thinner, your kicks are snappier. You're going to three classes a week instead of two, you know? You feel better. People go, Jeff, look at you, you're looking great. Like, yeah, I started taking taekwondo again. Yeah. It's not a bad idea. I guess I I guess I wouldn't wear my black belt. I would feel like I was disrespecting the art. Yeah. So I'd have to re earn.
Well you could always take a totally new style and start out as a white belt. Yeah. Take something else. Just take something near you. Like Krav Maga. Like take uh anything. My manager Amy told me she was your publicist when you were on the cover of Black Belt magazine. Here's me. Yeah. Yeah, way back in the dizz. I love that. It's so funny.
Yeah. Um, I mean, I never stopped working out. I just don't it's too much of a part of my brain. Like my mind doesn't operate well if I have days even if I just take a t couple days off, I don't feel right. Squirrely. You know? Sometimes I just like to stand in front of you. Oh make sure that I I like the way that it feels to just do It's meditation. Yeah. You know what I used to love doing, especially when I lived in California? Just start feeling it. Just womp. I remember my cottage.
Do you? Do you remember all those? At least the first two I think. God, I used to hate those things. I didn't think I was young and immature and I didn't understand the value of forms. I used to think that this is pointless, this isn't. I only wanted to practice five minutes.
But now I understand. It's it teaches you body control. Like you you know, you throw a s a sidekick and you snap it up in the air and you hold it and you turn and block and all that stuff. Like it teaches you body it's like a almost like a form of yoga. You know, and it it teaches you to control your body. I do a lot of kicks in the air now and I do'em slowly. Like I I and it it it's really good for your control and your balance.
And I didn't think that when I was younger. I thought that was like a waste of time. I thought like really what's important is like hitting things really hard and being fast. And now I realize like no no no no there's like a lot of value even to help your techniques and to be able to hit things hard, like do it slowly and just have full control of your balance and your movement. So I like to do that. I like to do like slow kicks. I like yoga that's why I like yoga.
I feel like that's akin It makes me high. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Calm. Yoga is so good for your brain. Yeah. Oh Tony loves it. Yeah, he raves about his yoga. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, the thing about Tony is like he's so focused on kill Tony right now'cause the momentum is so extraordinary and he realizes that like Tony's really aware that he's in a very rare moment in his life. Yeah where things are going so well. So he's got his foot on the gas.
¶ Tony Hinchcliffe and Kill Tony
And he's got his new special that he filmed that he's editing right now, get ready to release and he's just I always told him he would take a different Well he's an odd guy. Yeah. You know, Tony you'd swear he's gay. And he's not But he's an awesome person. Like people who don't know Tony, they see like the outside of him. Of course. Like as a friend, he's a great friend. He's a great guy. I love that guy. He's the best. He was so happy. When I was workshopping my my show.
Came to the opening night on Broadway in New York. He's like there for his friends. A hundred percent. Well that's the beautiful thing about Kill Tony is it's all about supporting people and giving people careers. I mean he's given so many people careers and pumped so many people up. I mean he's it's really that thing, that Kill Tony thing is also it is in my opinion, well first of all for our club.
It's the cornerstone of the club. It's one of the most important things about the mothership because having killed Tony at the mothership every Monday night lets all these people that are upcoming comedians see what it's like. To have one minute that you you've polished and worked on really well and it kills and then you pop and then all of a sudden
You know, it's on YouTube, it's got eleven million views, and then, you know, maybe it's on Netflix and it's got millions and millions of people watching all around the world. And then all of a sudden people come to see you in the clubs and you're selling out weekends. And you're writing and you and then you get a golden ticket and you gotta do a new minute every week. You're a regular I mean it's
¶ The Comedy Community and The Process
A new minute. My show comes on tonight. It's ninety minutes. It might be the longest stand up special. Well your show is like a one man show. 90 minutes. It's a little different, right? I haven't seen it, but I've heard great things. You're gonna love it. You're really I think you're gonna like it'cause it's about us. It's a embattled community and it has its like detractors and it has a bunch of haters and a bunch of shitheads.
But for the most part, like as far as creative communities, it's one of the most supportive communities. I mean it's an amaz the community of comics like real comics that are all that when we meet up in clubs, it's always Hug like people think we're all like angry, bitter, like the tears of a clown. It's not there's a few people like that and they always make me sad.
But the reality is, like, most of us are super happy to see each other. It's always hugs and laughing and watching each other's sets and giving each other tags and and telling each other like oh that fucking new bit is amazing. It's like it's so supportive. I was at your club last night and it was like a
Oh like comics come in to say hi, I brought some extra chicken wings, Jamar was there, you know it was just fun. Moses was doing roast battle, I sat in on that, then I went outside, said hi to some people, and went upstairs and did a spot. It's like Family I don't have a wife and kids to go home to. This is what I do. This is the people that I love. The comedians are my kids, my cousins, my uncles, my aunts, you know?
I do have a wife and kids, but it's still m my other family. Yeah. It's like the family of comedians, it's like a band of brothers, it's a we and sisters. It's like a weird kind of friendship that, you know, it's like only they know what you do. You know, only they understand that it's like ten years before you're even any good. Right. Ten years of being like if you're out there and you're headlining a club and you're on the road like you fucking put in that work. There's no shortcut.
It's impossible to have a shortcut. You just gotta grind. I learned long and I I learned though over time. I don't want a shortcut. I like the process. Yes. That's what I live for. Oh yeah. You know, we have a roast coming up May tenth. It's not about May 10th. It's about
I can't wait to hang in the writer's room again. I can't wait to figure out who's coming. I can't wait to figure out the seating. Who who we gonna make fun of? Who's gonna who's gonna be in the front? Uh you know, what am I gonna wear? It's the pri it is the grind. That's exciting. Yeah, there's no finished. Right. The finish line doesn't exist. You'll you'll have little finish lines, like you do a special, like your special that's coming out. That's a finish. But it's only a a s a stop.
But where is the finish line, Joe? Like, okay, so I did the Broadway show, then I shot it, then I edited it. But now I'm here still talking about it. And then in a month from now, two months from now, someone will stop me at the airport and go, Hey, I was uh my kid was sick, I was in the hospital, I watched your thing and it made me laugh for five minutes when Life was so the ne the the spec all of it is there's no finish line. No.
I hope I win the Oscar. If you're uh Tom Cruise is jealous of George Clooney and George Clooney is jealous of Brad Pitt. There's no there's no finish line. There's no finish line. It's all the pro I have a big neon like you have the neon. I have a big neon in my house that just says enjoy the pro Trust it. Trust the process and enjoy it. And that's the weird thing about when you release a special and then you have nothing.
And then, you know, you have to like scour your brain for what you want to talk about. I took like a whole month off a stand up after my last special. I didn't do any stand-up, maybe more than a month. And I just thought. I said let me just Just like no pressure. Let me just think. Like, what is interesting to me? What do I want to talk about? Instead of just rushing to try to put together a new hour, right? Let me just think.
You know, and I'd come to the club every now and then and watch watch guys do sets, but I didn't do any sets for a while. You know what I'm Yeah. And then when it was over I was a little bit lost. Like I'd go to the comedy cellar. I was still in New York. I couldn't let go of some of the I I need to stop doing this material and then I felt like I had no purpose. Like I I didn't want to talk about anything and I said it to my buddy Kai and he goes, Dude, relax. You're between
Like he put it in musical sense for me. He's like you're like a musician between albums. Absorb some new things, see some movies, go on a trip, have some new life experiences. And then I was like, Yeah, that's probably a break. after doing the same thing, the same kind of hunk for years, your your your body, your brain like think about something else. Absorb new
things, download new influences. Yeah. And that's kinda where I'm at. And then of course Kevin was like, I'll get roasted and I was like, All right, uh I I can put stand up away for another two
¶ Netflix Roasts: Tom Brady to Kevin Hart
So I go back into roast mode, which gives me I'm like a dog who needs a job. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's kind of the same thing as your dog. It really is. It's like you need a task. If you're just doing nothing, like the idea of like, Oh, one day I'm gonna retire and just relax, like bitch, you'll go crazy. That's what I heard. Are you supposed to say that though? Yeah. Are you supposed to talk about it? I am. Okay. You're allowed to? Yeah. Okay,'cause I was told not to tell people about it.
We're doing it. May tenth. Mother's Day live on F. So you're officially announcing it? Yeah. At the forum. 'Cause I was told about it, but I was told I was not supposed to tell you. They said keep it under wraps. Oh, it's already a thing. Oh hosted by Shane Gillis. Let's fucking go. Nice. That's awesome. Right? Kevin is so pumped up. That's awesome. That's going to be fun. Dude, he's out you know he's These Netflix fucking the the Tom Brady one was That was so good.
That kinda like juiced comedy back up again because it was so wild. It was like the the jokes were so wild. It was so raw. Yeah. And we had gone through this like weird period of like people getting canceled for jokes. And you know, it's like all of a sudden like nah I said to him I would I've been g big game hunting Tom Brady for years. It took a couple of years. He retired, unretired, but I kept him And finally we were shooting promos and I was like, Why are you doing
'Cause I could tell it you know, it was starting to heat up and some heavy hitters were signing on. I go, Why are you doing that? I w it wasn't for the And he goes I wanna bring comedy back. I'm sick of the woke. He understood that. And I caught him I caught him on a Super Bowl Sunday. He was playing in the Super Bowl and I saw him looking at some jokes on Instagram.
And like and I'm like, this is where he goes to relax. He goes to the roast. And I'd heard that. So as I was like, he won the game and I was like, I think it's time. And then we reeled him in and he did it. And I will admit that roast was harsher than I expect even I expect. I mean it was it was a blood. And I saw Tom the other day and I said, It's time to take your win. You know, he was like, It was so harsh, it was tough on my family. I go, I I get all that, but
You wanted to do it to bring comedy back. You did that. One point six billion viewing minutes, Emmy nominated against the Oscars. The Super Bowl half like It was the most watched thing in the history of You know how nuts that is. Think about how many things are on Netflix. Right. That roast was the most watched thing in the history of Netflix. And it was because it was so fun.
It wasn't just because it was Tom Brady, which of course made a lot, but it wasn't just because all these great comics were on it, which of course meant a lot. Right. It was it was so good. It was so good that people were telling people about it. It's it and and it's like a great Super Bowl. It's gonna be around forever. Yes. Netflix leaves it up. Yeah, they're always gonna be there. I do think all respect to Tom, I do think this one Really? I think it's it's not quite a secret.
It's gonna be the greatest Netflix is the place for roast now because as great as Comedy Central was, you had restrictions on And Yes. This is a few. Right. Yeah. Buck Wilde. Yeah. I mean what a i an insane platform that you have you could never get bored. If you're bored in this life, like you're you're bored you you don't have anything to watch, like are you crazy? Yeah. There's so much shit to watch. Only boring people are bored, right?
Or people are uninformed. But I mean even in this day and age you could just you know, do a an internet search, like what's the best roasts on Netflix? Right. What are the best dramas on Netflix? What are the best shows on Netflix? Right. There's always something That's exciting though. It's gonna be a big one. Yeah. Mother's Day. Motherfucker's Day. Kevin Hart there's a guy like I don't understand how he has the time to do all the
I do not understand it. I'm a pretty busy person and I look at people like him and I feel lazy. I'm like, how are you doing this? Right. How do you have time to sleep? Right. And I saw him out with his wife having drinks two night ago. You must sleep like four hours a night. How he does. Yeah, I mean well, it's growing up poor and realizing that like once this is happening for you, like keep your foot on the gas. And that guy keeps his foot on the gas better than anyone.
I mean he's ambitious as fuck. tequila brand and releasing this. He had a vegan restaurant chain for a while. I would have talked him out of that. What the fuck are you doing with that? Uh well, you know, he's he likes to branch out and be a businessman. Mm. Yeah. I just I don't understand the time. And then in the meantime he's doing arenas at the same time. It's like And killing. I don't care. The roast the roast for him is back to his
Mm-hmm. That's what I love about it. It's like the Philly thing, talking shit. Yeah. Shane's from Philly, so there'll be a big Philly angle. Mm-hmm. You know, and we got some of his oldest buddies.
¶ The Roast Master and Friars Club
That's nice. Yeah. Well you've carved out an interesting path for yourself as the road. Yeah. You know, like you're you're it's like an old school skill, you know, that used to be a big part of comedy, you know, the Friars Club roasts. Yeah. You know, sometimes they weren't even on TV. I just bought a a Leroy Neiman painting from they had an auction of old Friars. And Leroy Neiman painted Henny Youngman surround it and he painted his punchline.
He used to sit in the dining room at the New York Friars and Henny in his wheelchair would sit under that painting. And for some reason it's all up for our. Oh, that's awesome. That's so cool that you got it. Yeah. That's amazing. I miss some of those guys. He has a buddy hack and t-shirt. Somebody made me a buddy hat. Yeah, those guys are from a different time, you know? Different time. No television, no nothing, doing Right.
They would do each other's acts. They would uh do whatever got a laugh. Yeah. It was a totally different life. And then if you had a name, like you had a name back then. We're a famous comedian back then. How many of them were there? Shecky buddy nipsey. Yeah. Few of those guys. They're not many left. They're really all gone. That's gonna happen to us, buddy. That's what I hear. What? Stay around forever?
You either keep going or you you saw the picture, Gilbert, Norm, Bob, you know, the alternative is death. So when I go, Oh, I don't want to get old I Um Right.
¶ Health Scares and Diet Changes
I went through it all year. Had been texting our text chain. Everyone's gotta get he's like kind of a hypochondriac, so I kind of ignored it. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was too busy, I was on the road. Immediately that an hour, two hours later. took care of it right away, but never felt doomed. Have you changed your diet after that? Meaning a lot less. Red meat? Now when I Why is it red meat?
I don't know. I mean th for me growing up in a catering hall in New Jersey around pastrami and prime rib and he said that that was a big cause. And processed food. Processed foods make sense. Yeah. That makes sense. So I'm eating a lot less of that. Yeah. I moved over to Turkey and Chick. And cut out the processed stuff.
Yeah, it's a little wake up call. When you have a health scare, a little wake up call. Time to take care of your of my show like I had my chemo port in on Broadway on the show and I was like Still kind of in it. It's like I was having a human experience on stage and just two weeks ago I had the port the chemo port taken out. My sister came down to celebrate and had And uh it's like a war prize. Like I hold the port where they put the chemo, like I have it on my desk now.
And let's just say they take a they they put a lot more in people. Yeah, I'm glad you're on the They do. This guy, James Vanderbeek, younger than me. I met him. He was a nice fucking guy, man. He came to the club, hung out with his wife in the green room. Sweetest guy. Just such a nice guy. And apparently he was struggling back then. I didn't know. He looked real thin.
So when you asked me right when you walked in, how are you doing? I was like You know, like it was a it was a pointed question and you asked. Politely and innocently. Yeah, I didn't know that you had gone through that. G I'm really I haven't seen you in when? When was the last time I saw you? I saw you in D C, I saw you in New Briefly. We had a drink. Was it your birthday in New York when you were doing Kill Tony? Or was it here? One of the bars.
It was August. But then I saw you in DC where you were. I see I feel like I see you because I pop into the mothership but I always pop in on the Yeah. But uh yeah, it was a crazy thing, man. I've never been sick a day in my life. I've always had that like my grandfather used to call it whirlbeater energy. Like I always felt invincible, never never thought for a second. Yeah. And they're not a big deal. Like guys are afraid of colonoscopies because Mm-hmm.
But in the end, i it really isn't up your butt. It's a doctor look checking you out. You're out.
¶ Importance of Colonoscopies
They go up your butt, bro. And get the end the Oscopy, especially for smokers and stuff like that. And like for what mm for what is essentially a one day inconvenience c they can really save your life. Well I'm glad he cleaned up. Yeah. You know, you gotta do that'cause I know that you are I mean, I've run to you at Cat's Deli before too. That's another thing I need. You remember running into me at Cat Sistelli with Tony and I don't think it was that long ago, was it?
I I it was and I'll tell you how I know. One of the things when I When I got booked on this appearance, I said I make make a mental note I owe Rogan a And it's not a big deal, but it always kind of bugged me. I came in to say hi. And I was self conscious because I like sh uh I I like kinda shoulder shrugged and you were like, Is it for a role? and I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh I do. And I lied. Yeah, you said I shaved him off for a roll. I was like, Oh, that's crazy. What are you playing?
I I was embarrassed because I had alopecia. Didn't really P I had a big fro. Mm-hmm. Big bushy eyebrows. Like I was like the propecia man of the year, you know Ha ha ha ha. And I don't know what causes it. It's an autoimmune thing. It's not life threatening. But
¶ Alopecia and Autoimmune Insights
Suddenly I looked completely different. My fame like if anyone ever recognized me walking in a restaurant, you know, get a good table, skip the lot it was all gone. Just suddenly and in within a few weeks. I was I remember being at Zaney's in Nashville and just scratching my head and And then within a month. Me and Adam Egat and Tony went to the barber shop on dying. So it happened really quickly. It happens all within a few weeks. All your hair fell off within a few weeks.
And then when I thought it was done, eyebrows started. And I s and then I left. Salt. I don't even reckon. And Is there anything they do that reverses that? There's some medications. Doctor Drew actually hooked me up with a research doctor. Brett King at he was at Yale at the time in Connecticut and I did have some restoration of eyelashes. But the the side effects were a little bit scary and They lower your immune system a little bit? So I did that for years.
Then when I got cancer I was like fuck those Right. And and now I'm literally like hair. hair and you know, you learn to live with it. You know, you gotta channel your inner oxygen. Listen, there's worse things here. Believe me, I guess. You'd know. Right. But I uh it always dinged me'cause you and I have been friends a long time. We have an honest friendship. Brutal Odyssey. And I looked you right. Yeah, I l I I went with it.
Aye. found out slightly after that that you had alopecia from other people because someone else brought it up and someone said, Oh, he's got alopecia and I'm like, Oh, I asked him at Cats Deli. And he said he shaved his eyebrows off for a roll. But I just felt like you're probably embarrassed and I totally understood. Like it's weird. Right. They they say a lot of these autoimmune issues uh come from inflammation and a lot of inflammation comes from what you eat. Yeah.
Yeah, doctors aren't always right. And one of the things they're not always right about is nutrition and the impact that nutrition has on uh particularly on autoimmune issues. Very few doctors have any knowledge or any education in nutrition and the impact it has. I mean your entire body is built out of and reconstructed from
It's the only thing that your body has. Right. In order to you know your body makes new cells, your body replenishes cells, recreates all the tissue. There's only one way to do it. It's gotta be what It's the only thing. What you drink, what you eat. That's it. And if you're eating a bunch of processed stuff that has
Inflammation. Well, a lot of things. Allergies cause inflammation. Um, processed food cause inflammation, excess sugar causes inflammation, alcohol. There's a lot of things that people eat that cause inflammation. But it's really uh genuinely uh a thing of uh a balance of, you know, your diet and you know what your body has. You know, if your body doesn't have any nutrients to work with, no vitamins, no minerals, you know, you're dehydrated, you're drinking too much sugar.
You you know, things start malfunctioning and misfiring and then you know there's there's a bunch of diff different consequences for having a high inflammation diet. And for a lot of people it's sugar. Um sugar is one of the leading causes of inflammation, especially in the standard American diet, because the standard American diet is just riddled with excess sugar. Corn syrup and bullshit and preservatives.
Your body just after a while just gets tired of processing that stuff. And then you start encountering a bunch of issues. And uh I know there's a lot of autoimmune issues that people have had uh success in reversing by completely cutting out everything other than whole Just eating chicken and meat and vegetables and drinking water. Cutting out all the bowls.
¶ Comprehensive Health and Nutrition
Yeah, I gotta do better. Have you ever gotten blood work done? Well now I have Do you? Do you ever get blood work done from like a comprehensive laboratory that's looking at your nutrient levels and all those different We should do that. There's a place in town waiting. I'll send you there. Yeah. Yeah, they'll they're really good. I mean they do. They take a shitload of blood and they do these really comprehensive blood panels. They can scan for cancer too, by the way. اشتركوا في القناة
Yeah, that's a big one. You know, because they can check for any kind of cancer in your body. Now that I'm through all that, I'm much more Taking care of myself and staying on it and The first time I did that was a good one. The first time I did that one I was like, Cancer's When it came out zero. But I do so much to take care of myself. I do a sauna every day, cold plunge. I take a ton of vitamins. I'm always exercising. I eat probably like ninety-nine.
Every now and then I'll fuck off and or if my daughter But for the most part I give my body Today was white chocolate chips. But for the most part it's Your body can only use what you put in it. There's no other building blocks. It doesn't have anything else. Right. There's nothing else it can draw from. And that's one of the problems is when you don't give your body what it needs, it starts taking things out of the tissue.
It starts taking things that's where osteoporosis comes from. Your body starts literally taking calcium out of your bone. You know, you gotta give your body the building blocks. Without that, it doesn't know what the fuck to do. And slowly but surely you start to deteriorate. You know, and there's a giant difference between giving your body a nutrient dense, healthy diet and not.
And drinking much water and electrolytes and not. There's a giant difference. And it's all your body just cannot recreate itself correctly. It cannot build itself and repair itself correctly unless it gets the the proper nutrients.
¶ Critique of Modern Healthcare
That's where a lot of people's issues come from. And doctors don't tell you that. Like um I had a family member that got real sick and the doctor said they got cancer and the doctor said it doesn't matter what you eat. I go, Well fuck that doctor. Right. That's not true. I don't know. This doctor's telling you you could eat cake and just take chemo and you'll be fine. That's horseshit.
That's not true. That's not true. Because they should one of the things they should tell you immediately is get on a ketogenic diet. Because one of the things that uh has been proven is that cancer uses glucose to survive. Autophagy, which comes from d fasting, is one of the best ways that people can get rid of errant cells and cells that are, you know, misfunctional. Make your body burn off fat, use ketones for energy.
And just get rid of all the dead cells. Get rid of all the shit that your body doesn't need. And if you want to do that, do intermittent. You know, where you only have a period of time where you eat. Like give yourself like a sixteen hour window with no food and then start eating after that. But how do you keep it? How do you cranky and lose your mind?
Because your body's relying on carbohydrates, right? So when your body is not relying on carbohydrates and your body's burning off ketones, you don't have that problem. You don't have that crack. The crashing problem is from a high carbohydrate diet, and I've had that before. Look I'm Italian.
It's carbohydrates was my my thing, you know, it was all about pasta and pizza and I love that stuff. I just love it. And that's my cheat food. If I'm gonna cheat, I'm gonna eat Italian subs and that kind of shit. But When your body gets accustomed to that, first of all you get a big insulin spike, you crash. The way to avoid that is to get your body to start using fats. And the way your body uses fats is that's what you give it for fuel and your body adjusts.
And then your body does something called gluconeogenesis where it starts using meat and protein and turning that into glucose. And when you go through this process, it's a shaky process at first, like you get what they call the keto flu. is exhaust and your workouts suffer. It's like you have no energy. But eventually your body adapts and your body just gets accustomed to using fats. And when your body gets fat adapted, first of all your body you get an extra gear in terms of like your ability.
And it just feels like you have more energy. You don't need naps and you don't crash after you eat. That's why when you you're saying like you shouldn't eat red meat, I eat mostly red meat. That's like most of my diet. Eighty percent of my diet. Well, I mean...
I don't think it's an addiction. I think it's the most nutrient I think it's the most nutrient dense food in the world. The problem is processed red meat, right? So if you're eating a bunch of processed shit that has a bunch of preservatives in it, yeah that's But like a ribeye steak, a grilled ribeye steak, there is nothing wrong with that. It's one of the most healthy foods you
And it has everything you need. It has plenty of vitamins, it has fat, it has all the things that your body naturally knows how to process. And people have been eating that food from the beginning of time. Yeah. You get everything you need from a balanced diet. And I'm like, fuck you. You don't know Like how much time did you spend in making it?
Learning nutrition. Was it even an hour? Was it a day? Right. Like i it takes a long time. And there's real researchers who have spent decades understanding the the balance of nutrient dense foods and vitamin supplementation and and what vitamin supplementation can cure and fix and what's it's what it's good for and how to balance it out and what vitamins work synergistically with other vitamins.
If you're taking vitamin D three, which is fantastic for your immune system, you have to take it with K two. You should take it with magnesium as well. Like you gotta you gotta know these things. And most doctors they just they talk out of a they they they talk out of a voice of authority about something they're not educated in. They're educated in getting people in and out of their office as quick as possible and getting that insurance money. And that's what they do.
And most of them they talk like their authorities. Meanwhile they have a gut. You're sitting there looking at this guy who looks like shit and he's telling you about health. Like, bro, you're not healthy. This is angry. It makes me angry. It really does. I get it. It's it's infuriating because it's like these people you count on them as authorities and really they're just
They're just paying off their student debt. They're paying off their fucking loans. They they have uh insane malpractice insurance they have to cover. They have a a giant monthly nut, and they're trying to push pharmaceutical drugs on you as much as they can because they get compensated.
And that's what they do. And this is the standard American health system. And it's a real problem. Yeah. It's a real problem and it leaves us sicker. You know, this is the thing that RFK Jr. is trying to do that. Like y we are we spend more money on healthcare than anyone in the world. We make more money than anyone in the world and we're sicker than anyone in the world. We spend more money than we ever have on health care, we're sicker than we've ever We're living the life. We're eating well.
So we're eating shit. You know, if we're just eating healthy, the people that are just eating healthy Way less problems, way less health consequences, way less issues, way more energy, way more mental.
¶ Whole Foods vs. Processed Foods
All those things. Because that's how your body's supposed to live. For thousands and thousands of years, what did we do? We ate fruit, we ate vegetables, we ate meat and chicken and fish and eggs and That's real food. Most of these things that sit on a shelf, you're not supposed to eat those. Just like your dog. Like your dog's not supposed to be eating kibble kebab.
You know? Feed your dog raw food, your dog's gonna go bonkers. Feed your dog human grade food like farmer's dog, your dog will go crazy. You w w watch how she eats Watch the difference the way it my dog can't wait. He's dripping d water's dripping off of his mouth before I feed him. He's like sitting there waiting, like stay and I'm putting it in the bowl. Okay. He like attacks it.
Like Jamie, you were saying that about your dog, right? Like that Carl, like when he was eating kibble, he wasn't even interested. Excuse me. Never ate it. You just sit there and like, well, what do you how do you you're a how do you f how who's been feeding you and what have they been eating like? How did they get in your body? But
I give her like turkey, you know, putting it sometimes if I have turkey or chicken around I'll put it in her bowl. I always give her you know, like a cat's deli when you order the sandwich they give you a little piece before Yeah. I always give her a little piece to get her salivating. And she snaps it right. Yeah. Yeah.'Cause it's real food. Right. That's what people are supposed to be eating too, man. We're supposed to be eating real food.
You know? We got tricked. Because things have to stay in the supermarket. You gotta you gotta be able to sit it on the shelf and it's gotta be able to stay there for a few months. That's how you make your profit. That's why milk is homogenized and pasteurized and they'll try to scare you off raw milk. Bitch, I drink raw milk every week. There's nothing wrong. You just can't get it from a shitty farm. Just like you can't get meat that's rotten. Just like you can't get sushi that's rotten.
¶ The Unexpected Truth About Ice Cream
I eat ice cream every day. How bad? Ice cream is actually not that bad. Ice cream, when you think about bad things to eat, ice cream is probably one of the best desserts to eat because ice cream has fats from the cream, it has protein from the milk. And it does have sugar, so you got a little bit of sugar, but you're absorbing that sugar along with all the fat and all the cream. And it probably is way better for you. It's way better for you than sugar.
like drinking like a soda. Like j so uh like a soda is the most alien form of sugar your body absorbs. Your body doesn't know what the fuck this is. Because sugar in nature comes from like an orange. It has all this fiber, you know, and and you're you're you're eating it and you it's a slow digestive process. That's why you don't get this crazy spike. But orange juice is fucking nuts.
Like you take all the fiber out and now you just have just pure sugar water and you think you're being healthy. Well you're not. Okay, look, you get a little bit of vitamins from the vitamin C that's from the oranges. Yeah. But you're you're not supposed to eat it that way. You're supposed to eat an orange.
Right. Like apple juice. Right. Like my daughter's like very conscious of like food and like what's in it and she she pulled we we went to a supermarket and she was gonna get an apple juice. She's like This has thirty grams of sugar. This little thing had thirty grams of sugar. Like, that's crazy. That's just you're just you might as well have a Coca-Cola. Right. It's kind of the same thing. Uh-huh.
Your body like I think there's a s there was some paper that was written recently about ice cream actually being good for you and by far the best of desserts that you can eat.
¶ Debating Ice Cream & Diet Studies
Because it's it's milk and cream, you know? It's like there's there's actual food in ice cream. Ice cream's not that bad. Look at this. Can ice cream be healthy? What recent studies actually show. Recent research has sparked debate about ice cream's place in a balanced diet. By examining long long term health studies, scientists are exploring whether moderate consumption may have unexpected lengths.
So ice cream has long been regarded as classic indulgence rather than a healthy food. The discussion largely emerged from the Okay. However, in recent times some surprising research has sparked the debate among nutrition scientists by saying that consumption of ice cream may be related to certain unpredictable health outcomes. The discussion largely emerged from data analyzed and long running research projects such as Nurses Health Study and Health Professional Follow Up Study.
Two major epidemiological studies that track diet and health outcomes over decades. Research examined dietary patterns among participants with type two diabetes. Notice unusual pattern related to ice cream consumption. Discussion earned okay, what is the the discussion? Consuming ice cream more regularly sometimes appear to have lower risks of certain health conditions, especially cardiovascular disease amongst individuals who have type two diabetes.
The problem is with um epidemiological studies, you're just basically like filling out a form as to what you ate. And they track that with like large study groups of people and they try to figure out, okay, that's one of the ways they find out like, oh, the people that eat red meat more are are sicker. But that's also like what are you eating?
You eating burgers that you call red meat with sugar with a with a Coca Cola and some fries. Right.'Cause that's what a lot of people are eating. Right. So it's not like grass fed steak with a salad. You know, that's not Remember Craig who came in here, Craig from Craig's he told me to say hi. I love Chris. Oh yeah, makes it. That was my joke.
I don't think you have to stop eating steak. I mean I'm no doctor, but I don't I don't think steak's the problem. I think all the other shit's the problem. I think it's preservatives and bullshit and processed food. None of it's good for you. If you could sit on a shelf Like that has all these preservatives. That stuff wrecks havoc on your gut bacteria. When you're consuming things that are filled with preservatives, that those preservatives are essentially killing life.
That's what they do. That's how it keeps bacteria and mold from growing on the food. It's it's a life killer. And then you eat it, go, oh, yum, yum, yum. Oh, it's preserved so I can eat it. I mean you're you're healthy. Your healthy gut bacteria just gets fucking nuked. Yeah, I don't think it's meat is the problem. I was on a USO Christmas tour and I ate worse on that than I would and I go, how are the Yeah.
Yeah, it's a lot of processed food. Yeah, it's terrible food for those soldiers. It's terrible. And then you're asking them to go to perform in the most fucking scary thing on earth, com It made me think, well maybe it is maybe it's all bullshit if the military's eating the same pizza and pepperoni that I'm eating at home.
No the the what's bullshit is the way they treat those people. That's what's bullshit. What's bullshit is the the way they take care of them. That's what's bullshit. What's bullshit is the the consideration they give to the diet of these people. Right. You're asking these people to make the ultimate sacrifice and you're That's what's bull.
It's not d diet's not bullshit. Diet's everything. It is literally everything. Like I said, your body has nothing else, nothing else that it can build itself up with other than nutrients. You consume it, if you don't, you're you starve to death, right? If you don't eat, you starve to death. So in order for your body to take care of itself, what are you giving it? It's that simple.
¶ Joe's Caffeine Experiment
You drink a lot of water? Yeah. I drink less. Um I've been drinking coffee later in the day now. Um I've been like going through my day and not drinking my first cup of coffee'til like noon now. I've been doing that Huh? You don't need it in the morning to get going? Sometimes I feel like I do I enjoy it, I indulge if I enjoy it, but I don't like relying.
I don't like having to do things. I don't ever want to have that feeling. So lately I've been like and I've gone days without coffee just to see what that feels like. Sometimes I feel a little sluggish. But there's ways you can avoid that too. Like I'll take nootropics, which is a brain nutrients, you know, theanine and acetylcholine and a bunch of different things that'll like there's alpha brain, that stuff Uh fires it up.
It's just you can get addicted to caffeine. Caffeine is very, very addictive. And uh I feel like if I can get my day going without it, it's probably better. Yeah. I love it though. Oh, it's great. I love a cup of coffee. I love it. I love it. Uh I And it's like the first place I go to it's like Yeah, finally get there and it's like it's a kiosk and I'm like, I can't kiosk. I need to just tell someone
Coffee and a cup and hand it to me. Then I go to another place and it's like they they charge me and then they hand me a cup and go go fill it. And I walk away. I get so frickin' cranky and I go to th third place finally. No employees. Just uh it all makes me so mad. I want to talk to somebody. Oh, okay. I don't like filling out a computer. I rarely go to coffee places because I drink black coffee. It's just not good.
I could drink any coffee. You could take old coffee, put it on my Espresso that you're Oh. I'm making it. What's that?
That's coffee. Cheers. Taste that. Cheers. That's not r not bad, right? If you get coffee from Starbucks, you're getting it in a paper cup. And if you get it in a paper cup, it's not paper you're drinking. 'Cause the inner lining of those paper cups. Right. Ever see when they break it down? Yeah. When they well, if you add hot liquid to plastic, that plastic leaches chemicals. that are not good for you. They're called forever.
So like every time you drink a hot liquid that's in a paper cup, you're sucking on plastic residue. That's gross. We're gross. There's a lot of things that are gross about the American lifestyle. I mean if you get coffee from Starbucks or something like that, ideally you should bring your own cup. bring a mug, bring, you know, like a little, one of those little Yeti.
You know, so it's like pouring right into stainless steel. That's how you're supposed to drink it. But who does that? Who brings a little stainless steel yeti with them everywhere? Nobody. Nobody. But if you did that you you'd get a lot less It also wreck havoc on your body, destroy your immune system, destroy your endocrine system. It's uh they're endocrine disruptors, so it stops your body from producing hormones. Which also can lead to Crack.
Yeah. You don't think he was worried about the plastics in the pipe? There's certain dudes that are built different and they could I mean a lot of people that did what Charlie did would have already been dead a long time ago. He's resilient. I do hope so. Puts him in a big move.
¶ Charlie Sheen's HIV Journey
Yeah. Maybe he's doing it. Yeah. It's like, what did you do 20 years ago? Yeah. Doing all right. Mm-hmm Mm. Looks healthy. He looked a lot better than I thought it would be. Like you it doesn't look like a guy has went through twenty five years of crack. And he was sick. Mm-hmm. H I V. Oh yeah. HIV is weird. Because uh with the medication they have now you don't really you don't you're not even telling
But they just tell you you you have it no matter what, it's dormant. Which doesn't totally There was a guy named Peter Duisburg that I had on the side. and uh he was a professor at of the University of California, Berkeley. Um and uh Brilliant, brilliant guy, groundbreaking work on cancer, but he had a very controversial take.
And his take was he didn't believe that HIV is what caused AIDS. He said the fact that you have HIV is because your immune system is so severely compromised that HIV shows up. That was his take on it. And he was awesome.
¶ Fauci, AZT, and RFK Jr.'s Book
You gotta realize like during the AIDS crisis. Do you know who was the guy that was in charge of the medical establishment in this country? Anthony motherfucking Fauci. And that guy And one of the medications they gave people was A.
Problem with AZT was AZT was a chemotherapy medication and it was killing people quicker than cancer was, so they stopped using it. They repurposed it when AIDS came along and they started giving it to AIDS people because They didn't have to go through this whole process of Like getting uh a drug certified, getting a drug to go through the FDA and all they already had a drug. So they said, Well, this drug, this will be the drug we use, right?
But it fucking killed everybody they put on it. Killed tons and tons of people. When they stopped using AZT, people stopped dying. You know, that's what Dallas Buyers Club was all about. It was all about them trying that movie with Matthew McConaughey. It was all about them trying to find alternative cures. Um alternative medications and being able to access alternative medications.
He wanted everybody to use AT AZT. And he was like, A Z T, the reason why they use it, it's the only drug that is both safe and effective. It's literally what he said. Back then, in the fucking eighties. and whether or not it was gain of function research that caused it. He's this creepy fucking guy. We never really got answers to the We will. It'll take time, but we will and he'll probably be gone by the time it's publicly understood.
But if you read RFK Junior's book, The Real Anthony Fauci, it'll open your mind. It'll open your eyes. He talks about how they were testing out in the uh nineteen eighties, they were testing out HIV vaccines on foster kids in New York and killing Yeah. They tested it on foster kids. Yeah, it's real. If it wasn't real, he would have been sued. It's a dark book, dude. The real Anthony Fauci, I can't recommend it enough. It's a fucking terrifying book. But that's the same guy that was a part of the
¶ Joe Rogan's Acting Perspective
I'll wait for the movie. The movie's gonna be weird. Who would play M. Maybe Martin Schwartz. It's another Sean Penn tour de four. Ha Sean Penn was all about the back. You miss acting. Not even a little bit. Köszönöm szépen! You really were in this whole other world. Call times, make up, lines, blocking. Uh well I enjoyed working on news radio and it was very I felt insanely forced
To be able to work with Phil Hartman and Dave Foley and all those people on that show. Steven Root, more a tierney and Andy Dick. Candy Alexander. It was an incredible cast of people. I mean I felt super, super lucky. But once it was over, I'm like, I don't think I'll ever be able to recreate that because that was like optimal and I had been on a couple other shows as a guest. I didn't like it. And I was like, this is not what I like. I only did it for money. Sit sitcom.
Especially in the beginning days, it was like twelve, sixteen hour day. Who wrote that show? Paul Sims and a bunch of other writers, but he was from the Larry Sanders show. You know, and um he did Bardwalk Empire after that and a bunch of other stuff. But brilliant. But that show was just like I caught they caught lightning in a bottle. I got so lucky to be a part of that show and I'm like I could never be on a shitty sitcom after You know, I couldn't be on some Slop. Um canned horseshit.
¶ Fear Factor's Cancellation Controversy
She wighbrow with fear fact. Well, I took that because there was no actors. I th first of all I took Fear Factor'cause I thought it was gonna be canceled. I thought this is gonna be giving me a lot of material. Ha ha Yeah. Have you seen the new one? No, I haven't, but uh Johnny came on, Johnny Knoxville came on to do it. I didn't see the ludicrous one either. But uh how long did Luther?
Yeah, Ludacris did it, I think was it on MTV, Jamie? I think he did it on MTV. MTV did it for a little while. I think he did it for I don't know how. But I love Johnny. Johnny Knoxville's the fucking he's the best. Sweetheart of a guy. And I hope it does well. I hope they don't hurt anybody. That's the problem. Like when Fear Factor came back on NBC, um when we came back in two thousand eleven and we only did six episodes, they were really trying to make it bigger and better.
It felt like it. It felt like when it was cancelled, I was happy. Fuck this. Huh. Yeah. Well it it got cancelled'cause they had a drink cum. Do you know that? No. You don't know that? वाट? Yeah. Yeah, they played horseshoes to drink donkey cum. No. And Andy Ellen Jank people come. He's he's a gentleman. Um but yeah, it that happened. That's what got the show canceled. But that it was because they were just trying to make it as outrageous and pos as possible.
It's like the early you were right at the beginning. This is it. Fear Factor. Donkey Juice. They had to play horseshoes and uh they drank Donkey Piss and Donkey Cum. There was three sets of twins and one twin had to drink the cum. Look at that. That's a mug O com. Ha ha. Oh my gosh. It's so foul. What? Wow. Yeah, so T M Z I think. Got a hold of the clip.
Images and said that Fear Factor was doing this and it never aired in the United States. But it aired overseas. It aired uh somewhere in Europe. I want to say the Netherlands or in Denmark or something.
¶ Jeff Ross's Name Change Story
Wow. Yeah. Well you survived. Hanging out with you, Charlie. All right, man. Dude, I've known you since you were Jeff Lipsch. I've known you since your best joke. Never trust a hooker with a walkie-talkie. Ha ha ha ha. You go, I learned a lot you were like twenty five, but you're like, I've learned a lot of things in my life. Yeah. I never trust a hooker with a walkie talkie. Was that the joke? Um no, it was I went to college for three years. You know what I learned?
Don't trust Hooker with walk with walkie talkies? I don't know. You know me since Jeff Lip. I'm still by the way I'm still Jeff Lip. Maybe you shouldn't tell everybody. It's all right. We should hid that. Changed it to Ross. What year was that? Oh I couldn't. What happened was I got booked on Star. Like my first time on T V. You know, we were all starting to get like on M T V and Star Search, those shows were coming around. And I go down to Orlando where they were shooting it back then.
Um Ed McMahon was the host. And he kept introducing me by f fucking up my Arch this week's challenger, Jeff Lip shits and I'd walk out and I'd it would screw me up, you know. Then the next I'd won and then the next day it's like this week's challenger, you know, life shots, you know, he would just screw it up every time. And On the flight home I was like I either have to if I r I really love comedy, I was like two years in, I go Let me think.
Ross is my John Stewart was John Lebevitz and uh he had told me he had ha he it's similar reasons of like no one can sp if I asked you to spell Lift Schultz right now, even you couldn't and you know me thirty five years. So so I was like, All right, either I'm gonna have to change my name or my whole family's gonna I don't know what Ross that just made it. It's easy. Yeah. Yeah. It's easy. Jeff Ross. McMan. Uh I shook his hand and that was the end of it. I didn't get to know him very well.
¶ Social Media Etiquette & Real Connections
He was an animal. I heard he drank a lot. Yeah. But then I made some joke like that and people got mad at me online going, Don't disrespect me. Was he gone by the time you made that joke? Yeah, it was recently because they rebooted Star Search just now. Phew fuck people on. Oh dude, that's another thing Sagitt taught me, Bob said. 嘿嘿 Like you know, we we would argue about this'cause like he would block people and I go, Well then they know you saw it.
Just ignore them. Let them float out to sea. He goes, no. He goes, no. I want them to know that they're blocked. He goes, and I don't want them following me. I don't want I don't want to say funny things for pe to people who say mean things. He valued himself. I say don't even pay attention. Let them exist in the ether. Well you're off social right now. Yeah. Yeah.
That's what I tell people. Post and ghost. Just post things. It's like people know about stuff or something's interesting. You know, someone sends you something interesting, like, oh people should know about this. Right. That's it. Get out. I gotten better instead of using social media. Seth Green is my neighbor. Goodbye. the actor and he he he started doing this during the pandemic. Instead of texting or liking people's stuff, he facetimes. It takes longer, but he's like it's a real connection.
Face time. What if you have an Android phone? Then you're fucked. And my friend Benji Oflalo goes uh he he quotes Brody all the time. He'll just He'll write he'll text me uh emojis, positive and a check. Positive check in. Like brother used to do. He would just positive check in. Positive energy. Positive check-in.
¶ Remembering Brody Stevens' Legacy
I almost warned. Enjoy it. Uh his his cadence has been more like remembered. It's almost like him and Dangerfield have the most memorable deliveries. Especially for us for the guards. For the guys who uh were around him. He was so c he was just such a unique dude. And he would show up at the comedy store and pull into the lot, everybody'd smile. Ha ha. hate'em. It was it was it was literally like the mid nineties Joe, like in New York. And I haven't thought about this.
The show that's coming out tonight, I started developing thirty years ago. My grandfather died. I live with my grandfather and it was like a way to like process it and it was emotion. And I was doing it at little alternative comedy spaces in New York and I didn't know Brody. And Brody would sit in the front he was obsessed 'Cause I was like talking about stuff that hit And he would sit in the front, but he wouldn't
Over laugh or twitch around at a seat. So then, you know, I'm developing this like one-man show. It's like different than stand-up. he would want to talk to me about it and he would say like weird things that kinda threw me off. You know, he would notice the differences and I said, uh, listen man, um HBO's coming to see it next week. Um could you just not be Yeah.
He goes, Oh, okay, I understand. I'm the guy who bothers you. I you don't like me. I get that. I go, No, it's not that man, it's just that like you're you're like you're like a Wait till I die. You're distracting me and I'm not like uh you know uh I was only doing f comedy a few years. So then HBO comes and Brody I walk on stage and Brody's in the front row. Ha ha ha ha.
So afterwards I go, dude, what the fuck is your problem? I told you not to be like there were no other seats. I couldn't miss it. our friendship grew where we both moved out to LA and we became such good friends that I had a Comedy Central show. He was the warm up. I had to have him around me all the time. I felt safer and better. I think we both grew from like I was a model in Pakistan. Cover of Camel Beat magazine. Uh I dated an amputee. We met on Stubhub.
What is my favor? What was the one about the uh Nickelback tour jacket? Uh I was at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I saw the Nickelback Tour. It was in the Lost and Found, but still I love Brody. Look up Brody. I heard you talking about him the other day. about his friendship with Zach Galafanek. Yeah.
¶ Comedy Memorials and Podcast Insight
And that were you there when they did the memorial at the comedy store? Uh I don't like those. I was backstage. Brody's like College baseball coach, high school baseball coach, and all his friends all spoke for like an hour. So That's why I don't like those things. Oh, it was beautiful. I prefer to mourn people solo. Well, Brody was a beautiful guy. That's our world. We gotta remember these guys.
I know we do. Well, you know, one of the good things about podcasts is like the world gets to understand a lot of these people and hear us. I think our world is more understood now in this day and age with the podcast world than I think it's ever been known before. More criticized, but that's part of the problem. I mean But also more understood. Like people get it. They get it. So I remember when... Weird art form. Remember when you had Gilbert Gottfried on. Killer was awesome.
I don't think he fully understood what was happening here, but I remember Really enjoying your interview.
¶ Gilbert Gottfried's Legendary Humor
What do you mean you don't think he understood? He'd done Stern, he'd done Stern is fast and jumping in and jo you know, like impressions. This is more of a conversation which Gilbert w in his spectrumy thing. Yeah. You know, it's tough to a lot of yes and no answers. I thought he was great. Right. But I loved him, you know, and he knew. I wear a Gilbert. That's cool. Ultimate tribute. So a sweet guy. So fucking funny too. I used to love watching his sets in New York.
Especially like in the nineties where no one knew who he was. Like oh my god. One of his last times on sea. At an improv in Florida and he came And he came on as a surprise guest. He walked out and he told this long crazy joke about skull fucking his dead grandma. The ground side. Ha ha ha.
So at his funeral. At his funeral like a year and a half later I said Gilbert's comedy was fearless and ruthless and subversive, yet he was so lovable that he could get us to laugh at a joke about skull fucking a dead person, and then I looked at his coffin and I said, Not so funny now. I love Gilbert. We've had the very unique opportunity to be a around some really truly accepted.
Rare, rare human beings, you know, and so many of'em, you know. We're we're so rich in our associations with so many uh completely unusual people, you know. Okay. One time we were roasting Joan Rivers. I was produced And I'm on the phone, I'm smoking a joint and I go, I got one joke I like, but I can't do it. He goes, What is it? I go, Well, you know, like you know, Kanye West's mom had recently
I go, Joan Rivers, Gilbert you know, uh Joan Rivers, uh Kanye's mom has a better plastic surgeon than you. And uh and uh I go, but I I'll do it. Ha ha. And that's what I realized. I was being a pussy and I had to do it. So I did. So he pushed me. That's awesome.
¶ Comedians on USO Tours
Is a really special. We're lucky dudes, Jeff. We really are. We're lucky. And especially now that we know all these people that we just talked about that were amazing and are gone. We're lucky we're still here. Being a comedian is like a backstage path. You get to see things you never would see. Did I just went to Cutter? Djibouti Africa. You were in Djibouti? Were you doing Djibouti you did stand up there? For the troops.
Saw the Patriot missiles that they're using now. I was in two of the bases that just got hit just a few months ago. get to see and when you're with the vice chairman you you you're sometimes you're on FOBs they call them forward operating bases. They don't even tell You know you're like eighty miles from the Iranian border. You've always done a lot of stuff with the troops. Yeah. Way back from Early two thousand. Two thousand three, my first trip to Iraq. Which drew carry. Wow.
Yep, he took me in 2003. Saddam was still alive. I went back in O five. It's the best man. That's why I'm a comedian. That's the right. They say, Oh, thanks for coming and I'm like, Thank you, man. This forget that I'm like entertaining you know, you're doing a show for people who are star for entertainment. It fills me up. Like it it it it it it invigorates. It it's just they're not drinking. They're the best crowds. Right. I highly recommend that.
¶ 'Take A Banana For The Ride' Special
All right, dude. Uh your special isn't out yet? Tonight. Night, look at you. A Netflix comedy special, longest special Netflix ever did. You got the Bobby Brown microphone on? I sing. Ha ha ha. I sing a song. Salty, sweet, sour mix. Look at that outfit. It's a suit of armor. This guy poor guy lost his hands in an explosion. I asked him why his wife never got finger bent. It's a multimedia show about my family, about resilience, about bouncing back.
Are those screens in the back wall a bunch of different screens? Yeah. And they show different things on them? Yeah. You're gonna love this show. I'm sure I'll be able to do that. It's about some of the stuff we were talking about. Like when you take a hit getting back up That's awesome. And what's it called again? called Take a Banana for the Ride. When I was an open micer, I would take my grandfather to his doctor appointment.
And then at night I would go in in New York and try to get on stage at the open mics and my grandfather would give me a few dollars for the bus and tolls and a banana. Take a banana. Kind of his way of saying I can't go with you but I'm there with you on the right. My mom's r would write I love you or I miss you and put'em in my school lunches so I found an old letter with her handwriting and made a tattoo. Oh so now I always have This is what Eddie Vetter drew. It says Born to Roast.
Oh that's cool. Alright, it's out now. Ladies and gentlemen, go watch it. Jeff Ross.
